Shutdown Fullcast - Fullcast After Dark: TED CRUZ SAC TIME!!

Episode Date: September 1, 2024

SHOW NOTESA sincere and unbridled celebration of Vanderbilt footballChecking in with the Cancun CoolerA stern talking-to for teams that are currently Acting CuteThe emerging medical field of touchdown poisoningDangerously erotic levels of IowaPickle argumentLearn why listeners and all of our therapists are already referring to the final six minutes of tonight's show as "the incident"Fullcast After Dark theme song arranged and performed by Corey CunninghamOn sale now: tickets for our show at Furnace Fest in Birmingham! https://www.seetickets.us/event/shutdown-fullcast-live/603983Follow Jason's work and upcoming book-related appearances on Vacation Bible School, Shutdown Fullbooks, and elsewhere at https://www.jasonkirk.fyi/Find Holly and Spencer writing and chirping at channel-6.ghost.ioListen to Ryan's other, less harrowing podcasts, We're Not All Like This and Buried Treasure, and check out his new project at assigned.substack.com Purchase only the finest Fullcast gear at sunny preownedairboats.com

How do you think the terrible people who yelled at us for using the word sluts last year are going to feel when they find out that the primary method of finding college football people to follow on blue sky is just a list called football cunts? Well, we didn't make that list. You kind of did. I don't know what you're talking about. It's a long story, but I would say you effectuated that list. I have the art.

Duke Franz Ferdinand. No man can kill you. I think you were the first cunt, the prime cunt, the most inspirational cunt. Gail says, but when Holly calls me a slut, I feel empowered. Gail, I wish you had been moderating our discord back in the day.

Again, it's great to be back. Are we waiting to hit a certain number? Are we just saying, let's do this? I mean, we're at 300? Yeah. Yeah. What feels lucky? Well, 300 is like the counts all dorked up because it's counting various. That's almost as many yards as Nico threw for today. It's like counting however many different outlets.

Oh, yeah. Oh, yeah. Yeah, yeah. The live viewers don't count anybody on LinkedIn. And clearly, everybody on LinkedIn is, that's where the place is. LinkedIn. The place for live audio. No, listen, I'm putting Robert Goins' comment up here.

it's absolutely true if you haven't listened to this show on lincoln like i don't know if it's because their servers are not crowded because we're the only ones on there because it's 1130 and night on the east coast the experience is crystalline it is so good i don't know if you i don't know what you're talking about i'm not on the east coast that's the time when they should be grinding the heart that's right that's when you're differentiating yourself from your competitors that's why our people specifically yeah yeah oh i i'm Okay. Yeah.

No, our people are out there. Our people are out there nose to that grindstone, which is why they are here with us tonight. Hey, Larista. We've crossed 400, so I think you can start the show. Yeah. All right, we're going to do it. We're going to do the thing. Fullcast After Dark for men

Welcome to the Fullcast After Dark Oh no Oh God, they're awake Oh no Oh yeah, that is the Fullcast After Dark presented by prize picks This is week one

Not week zero, not a rehearsal, week one of the college football season. Yeah, I'm looking at week one, and I am looking at the scoreboard because I knew Ryan was going to jump in there and go, Spencer, are you sure it's week one? Yeah, I am. I am. I'm reading off a list and everything. Got his ass, hypothetically.

Oh, no, that's all right. Oh, no, that's all right. This year we add a bonus round called Spencer. Is this a conference game? Yes. And you know what? I'm going to just cut myself some forgiveness on that. I'm like advanced slack applied. That's actually a great method for how you, That's actually a great term for how you move through life. I've just gotten myself some forgiveness.

Dear government, I have extended my own tax deadline. I hope you understand. Love Spencer. It works better than you think, Ryan. As a sovereign commentator. Yeah, you should try it. Dear Gerald government, how are you? Dear LinkedIn, I am here to discuss my revolutionary method for managing, and it's called forgiving yourself in advance.

Ooh, I got some trivia. I got some trivia. You guys want some trivia? We'd love it. We'd love trivia, right? Mm-hmm. Yeah. Who is responsible for the first P4, God, that's weird, when, or the Southeastern Conference for the 2024, 2025 college football season? I know the answer to this, but I'm not going to say it because you told me this earlier. I'm going to see if anybody in the comments has it. who is responsible for the there thank you diva diva co got it vandy baby that is correct as lifelong

vanderbilt as four lifelong vanderbilt fans as evidenced by the fact that it's the only photo in existence of all four of us together vanderbill football what a night what a night for all of us unstoppable us and diego pavia if if you don't know diago paivia he's in fucking shambles right now can i can i hit can I hit just maybe if anybody listening maybe if your ears have not heard the tale of Diego Pavia can I go ahead and give you the brief on Diego Pavia and what you do like a Spanish guitar riff before then like in Huber Blue Highway no you can you can start playing rolling by Limp Biscuit because I think Diego Pavia is way more of a rolling guy Diego Pavia a man of La Mancha that that's what that'll do that'll do um so high school

wrestling champion in the state of New Mexico um parents and And Diego Pavia got, Diego Pavia's parents at a tournament once got into a fight, like a brawl with some of the other opposing parents. Just to let you know how his entire family roles, he attended New Mexico State. When he did, he beat Liberty. And then when Hugh Fries left that week to go take the Auburn gig,

Diego Pavia, for a New Mexico state team with a winning record, itself, its own monumental achievement, beat Auburn at Jordan Hare, twice in a row. We all saw. Everyone saw. Diego Pavi's offseason, prior to that,

was highlighted or marred, take a pick, by video of him, urinating on the University of New Mexico's logo inside their practice facility. If you didn't think this man wasn't going to game, if you didn't think he wasn't here to ball, if you didn't

think he wasn't here to take heads and take them home put him in his big old room full of other football heads you were wrong but you were absolutely wrong they're all Hugh Freeze's head they're all that was very unpolite of him but I forgive you

Hugh Freeze is a hydra it turns out do not Google he better be his head do not yeah the love has gone out of my life okay please continue

Yeah, in addition to that Diego. And that was also grows back twice if you cut it off. That's so creepy. In addition to that Diego Pavia transferred to Vanderbilt, where this season after starting 1 and 0 with a stellar win against the... Hold on, hold on. Not just Diego Pavia. His head coach transferred to Vanderbilt.

That is correct. Jerry Kill is not the head coach of Vanderbilt, but he's associate head coach. No, but he's not the head coach of Vanderbilt in the same one. that you didn't start the football cunt's thread. Sure. His offensive coordinator, who is Tim Beck, but not that Tim Beck, weirdly enough. He was also not Tim Brewster, who we also keep confusing with him. Correct.

Yes. Right. Like, he didn't, it's not just Diego Pavia. It's like, Diego Pavia and his squad transferred to Vanderbilt. Be like, let's fix whatever you got going. All right, whatever dumb Nashville bullshit you got going on. Let's beat some heads in. I just see Clark Lee sitting in his office being like,

Trains come and they said it's the Pavia boys. Life's so sad. All of a sudden, like, beautiful girls. Somebody call for a football plumber. Right, right. Like the riff from beautiful girls from Van Halen starts. Doodoo do, do, do you want to do with your life? I want a pavia.

Clark Lee, you just need a little rock in your life. These are such contemporary references. for our young modern... I know, I know. But that's the vibe, right? It's 100% the vibe. Yeah, they want to rock and they're going to.

And they ran a bunch of, like, glorious high school bullshit, too, against them. Like, they ran, Diego Pavia will stretch an option to the very limit of the definition of legal pass. Right?

Like, you've got me, you've got me. It's out of my hand. Right? Like, he threw at least two passes today where I was like, I think that was forward. Doesn't matter.

I think that was a cross. the line doesn't fucking matter what did we just watch today Ryan what is the one thing you go I just watched that and wow Notre Dame actually like this is it's literally what just happened Notre Dame doesn't win that game right like I feel like we watch Notre Dame play that game every year it's the Ohio State game last year it's the Georgia game I think very early in Kirby Smart's tenure obviously like they did did they beat Texas I can't even in the like it's like every big bowl game yeah yeah like there are all these like it's always like 13 13 entering the fourth quarter and you're sort of and mostly you just sort of sit with it and you're

like huh I feel like Notre Dame should have won this game already I feel like Notre Dame should have put this this game away and then they don't like some dumb shit happens and Notre Dame loses and it's fine like you know sometimes that means they have a

eight win season sometimes they still win 11 games doesn't really matter yeah but they won this time I like your voice

went up a little bit they want it still feels weird because it had a lot of like hallmarks of oh this is the way and listen Austin is right

A&M always loses that game that's a really strong count there it is That's a really astute point. That's a really strong number one. Someone had to lose. Unless it's Bama.

Sure. Yeah. Somehow. So there was these two things, something had to give, right? Mm-hmm. And then there was this whole other thing, the most reliable sports, most reliable trend in all of sports, which is, Ryan, I believe you calculated this at some point, the Ted Cruz effect. Yeah, it doesn't exist anymore, thanks to media dying slowly.

Excellent. Actually, in that case, it was media diet quickly. Can I do a little reading in his place? Sure. So when Texags announced yesterday that Trev Alberts and Ted Cruz would have a little impromptu press box at Kyle Field regarding NIL legislation, the Texags mentions are full of actual Ted Cruz voters begs. him to stay away from the game. People say, I voted for you, but. And if you can imagine all of these

with American flag emojis and blue checks next to their names, you're in the right place. All right, let's pick one at random. No. I like Ted Cruz, but he doesn't need to be at that game. Please keep him away from Kyle Field. I voted and will continue to vote for you, Ted Cruz, but you already cost me a World Series.

Please don't be at this game tomorrow. I love T.C. But get him the fuck out of Kyle Field. The best part of Ted Cruz. The best part is you're like, well, you know, some politicians are sort of like trapped in their own world. Maybe Ted Cruz, maybe Ted Cruz doesn't know about the Ted Cruz curse

and isn't aware that people feel this way. Ted, when people have written about this in the past, Ted Cruz staffers have like gone after them online to be like, this is garbage. This is bullshit. They're like junior. ESPN publicists, they are the name-searchingest bunch, and, oh, they hate it.

It's wonderful. His team is pretty clearly quite online, just based on some of the shit that, you know, I've seen them refer to, that normal people just do not remember. So, like, yeah, they've seen this. They know about this. We should absolutely, Ted Cruz should be the game day picker one week, just to see. Just the game for that. Texas versus Texas A&M, 2024.

Can you imagine how, like, you know how Lee Corso puts on the mascot head? And some people are like, oh, that's good for us. And some people are like, oh, man, Lee Corso didn't pick us, whatever. Every team Ted Cruz picked, if he was the game day picker, it would just be like, no, you're ruining everything. You've destroyed us. The number I've seen is that in the games that he has, like, posted public support of a team yeah um the the alleged record is two and 16 his college football record i do remember that his college football record is terrible yeah and and they're also

basketball gangs as well i know that so what did one reader call him the cancun cooler the cancun cooler baby is your team too hot are things going a little too well why don't you invite old why don't you invite old death pants himself kyle has an important question question anyone checking in on how techsags is doing uh have it tonight i mean a rational i don't have gloves right now so i'm not sure i should open it a rational way to look at this would be let's just read some subject lines you hosted the number 17 in the nation you played them really well even though like connor weggman made some bad throws in this game yeah like some some real ify decision making but like overall offensive line played better defense

was nastier. It didn't play perfectly. Absolutely nasty. They're going to be good. But like, you know, so you should be able to walk away. All right, you want football for them or politics for them? Please football for them. Please. It's too early in the show to do politics for them. All right. Yeah. They looked, hey, hey. To the person suggesting I will be an emotionally well-adjusted

Aggie fan this year, absolutely not. What? Absolutely not. I only do that for Ohio State, a stable and steady part of our nation's economy, not. Oh, boys. Not the we work that is Texas A-them. Listen, I came in here looking for, I came in here looking for Ted Cruz, Slander, but we are 10 minutes removed from the beginning of a thread that says,

should have kept Jimbo. Should have kept Jimbo. Should have kept Jimbo. Holly, is that? Is that thread by chance about Coach Elko's fashion? Oh, let's see. Because the highlight of this game for me was Mike Elbo's garb. Would a Jimbo team have fared better tonight?

Who knows? Would not have been worse? What? What? Keep Jimbo, spend the money on the players. Okay, I'm with that. I'm actually thinking that is the guy. Wait, wait, wait, wait.

Do you understand that Jimbo gets the money either way? What? There's no word. No, no, no. they're proposing robbing jimbo i'm sorry that's on that's on texaggs uh i get yeah i guess you're not paying elko that money they're gonna extort jimbo so just make that the board the thread that just says the first word the first thread with conspiracy in the line is six minutes old yes jason what were you saying about michelko's fashion did you all see this shirt he was wearing

i could tell what it was that's a smock i i i a moo-moo would also be a word that i would consider I think a moo-moo has to completely cover the butt, and I don't think that was quite down to, like, haunches. I know there are many different varieties of definitions for smock. I know some of them involve tying in the back. Oh, I just meant it looked like he was going to do some crafts. Well, absolutely, yes. Casper was the first thing that came to mind for me. How about the schmoo?

Spencer called it a, what did you call it, the thing you put over a bird cage to make the bird go to sleep? Yeah, I thought he looked like, and he kind of looked like that. Oh, fire Colin Klein. Come on, y'all, no. I will say something. We did get shut down full cast social media studio, did get people sending in Sleepy Time Bear Mike Elko photoshops. Yeah.

He got, you know, to keep that thing on him, and the thing is a little pointy cap. That's it. All I'm trying to do is be as relaxed and confident as Mike Elko in that shirt, because we were talking about how he looks. look like a default character in a video game where you choose the option, not nude, not nude, tarnished. I'll tell you what Ted Cruz is doing.

Ted Cruz is distracting these people from what I really wanted to see post-game, which was A&M fans reacting to losing to a Catholic school. Oh, boy. I don't see anything. Searching for papists. Yeah, so there's your game. There it is. Is that anything we're going to remember in three months about either of these teams?

I don't know. I kind of looked at it, and I sort of thought that maybe Connor Wegman's not going to have that starting job a long time. That could be. Yeah. The other thing I thought was, this is not really related to the game. Outside of sports, if somebody told you, as Riley Leonard has, yeah, I transferred from Duke to Notre Dame. Wouldn't you immediately be suspicious of that person? Instantly. Would you immediately be like, oh, no. Oh, no. Yeah, that's like, that's certainly Stephen Miller. adjacent. Yeah, right.

What were the charges? That would be my first question. That's like a Steve Miller, Steve Bannon combo. But for Riley Leonard, it works. All right, let's hang on. Let's lob out an actual football question in here from Alexander Chase because I'd like to hear from all y'all. Notre Dame's play calling was shocking, and Elko is absolutely helping distract from that.

Thoughts? Yeah, his shirt was really distracting, I thought. It was, too. When I looked at that thing, I couldn't think. I didn't think about anything else for at least 20 minutes after that. He did look, listen, it had a killer logo on it,

though. It had like the Sarge logo. Yeah. Which also kind of looked like the Shmoo. Army dog. Like if the Shmoo was a cop. But yeah, I was a very confusing game that really sort of like,

good for Notre Dame. I don't know if it really is that much of a data point for A&M because that's kind of the kind of ball they're going to play. For week one, I appreciate that. many fourth down conversions? Yeah. Listen.

Oh, Arizona. What are you doing, baby? There's a lot of, I mean, there's a lot of what, what are you doing on, like, there's a, there were a lot of teams fucking around this evening. There are games, we, here are games we should just, like, tick off the list. UCLA 16, Hawaii 13. Just going to leave that out in the eighth. What was the final?

What was the final in Michigan? Michigan ended up pulling away a little bit in that, 30 to 10. A number that looks respectable, but yes, that game was close for a long, long time. Oregon wasted their best uniforms on frittering, richering against Idaho. That game was, it's a real fucking puzzle. Because, like, you look at it and you look at the stats, whatever Dylan Gabriel threw for almost 400 yards. And it's like, okay, well, I'm sure they put up 40-something points. No.

No. There was part of that game just disappeared into a time. vortex and like very briefly ido had a real chance to win that game um and i just kept thinking this will be the funniest result in big 10 network history not the biggest not the biggest it would have been the funniest it would be nice for organ to come in carrying an apps it would be neighborly of organ to come in carrying an app state like apparatus on their back um in addition by the way to dylan gabriel throwing for 380 yards uh jordan james had 95 yards on the round is Oregon experiencing like offensive hyperinflation where it's like oh no we have a thousand yards but they only buy crackers shit so they're trying to cash in pack 12 yards in the big 10 yes yes you may really be a conversion rate issue Oregon you are the most big 10 West team literally so and again this uniforms what a waste um South Carolina South Carolina hell yeah brothers this this is anybody but me watch this in the middle slot Spencer and I were downstairs

is watching almost all of this game. Oh, God, I watch so much of this game, and I feel so bad. My tummy hurts. Now, South Carolina fans are like, wait a second. You haven't talked about Florida. What the fuck? And we're going to get to Florida. I assure you.

We will. But we should pause for a minute to talk about South Carolina 23, Old Dominion 19. The highlight of this game for me was when South Carolina's quarterback ran down the running back, just trampled him. Was really eager to get in there and lay a block on. literally anyone and just flattened his own guy when i saw that and i picture me lebron lying meme when i saw that i knew south carolina was going to win by 10 yeah lenora sellers you know what lenora sellers that that his running back had an open lane and he was like too open you got to

earn it wow you do not going to let you have it free got at least one person getting news in here good evening joseph um Texas tech beating abling christian 52 51 and overtime. Saw that. Saw that. Central Arkansas, only losing on the last play of the game when Arkansas State threw a touchdown pass, saw that too. New Mexico State currently losing to Simo.

Wow. In the fourth, no less. Arizona currently tied with the worst New Mexico. Damn. Beginning to be concerned about my Northwestern playoff pick. It's fine. You know what? got the dub got the dub all they got to do is win the big ten defense first dub and by the way i am with i am with both roger and jason i see no reason for them to move away from that stadium paul did you know it gets cold did you know it gets cold did you know it gets cold did you know it gets cold did you know it gets cold like roger gives a shit if it's cold

they should make it colder that's how you know roger went to northwestern they should they should bring in air conditioners somebody heard some shit about lake effect that's a term i know did you know that term i'll use the term on you because i know it and you probably don't yes it gets cold make it colder i've been in lake effects snow in wisconsin

for the paul bunyan game it's nice they should bring out huge ice blocks like it's a frozen mario level or some shit like that they need to just keep the yacht club keep the yacht club for every northwestern home game take that stadium and burn it for the insurance god touchdown new mexico we they're playing arizona if you were wondering everything's fine at arizona yeah you're wondering this is great for the big sky because this is uh boosting montana state that's correct as big sky boosters yeah this this please yes that is our first is that for

this season of forecast after dark that is our first shouts out to the big sky conference game of the day we can all agree it was boise state georgia southern correct and and has and has the individual rush line of the day of the day the silliest stat of the day a six six touchdown day for ashton on ashton jenton on uh 20 carries to 16 days on 20 carry i was just going to say i didn't watch all of this but at one point when i was watching this game did i see him was he cramping up He scored too many touchdowns. He was exhausted from scoring touchdowns. He was laying in the end zone being worked on after, I think it was his sixth.

It was his sixth, yes. Yeah. I thought the announcers were being silly, and then I went and looked at his stat line. He was like, come on, stop it. He was suffering from success. And this isn't some dude who's like from the northwest. And, you know, hadn't encountered that type of humidity. He's from Jacksonville.

like he was built for this literally built for this but picture like doctor house walking in and writing on a whiteboard touchdown poisoning question mark lupus made of touchdowns he's got touchdown he's got touchdown he's got tutty malaise hey if you if you leave fort knocks wide open eventually the robber is going to die of exhaustion carrying all the gold that's smart that's a good idea that was actually gd today

The monkey's hand and a coconut. I love the play of the day, by the way, is that number 15 for Georgia Southern. Pardon me, I do not remember your name, but I do remember your number. Ashton G.T. is on the goal line. They line him up at second down, and he hits Ashton G.T. so fucking hard. Absolutely faces him up, pushes him like eight yards to the side. Georgia Southern's fired up. Like, yeah, yeah, we finally got this motherfucker third down.

Let's top him. Waltz is right in. The next third down. It was a cool tackle, though. He escorted him to the sideline like a bouncer. Yeah, he was like, sir, you have to leave. Sir, you've been over-served on touchdowns. Yeah, and Ashton G.T. came back into the bar

the next round and was like, I'm bad for everybody. Another one on me. Another honor. This line says five touchdowns are fewer. Please, please go to the regular line. I think you mean five touchdowns or less. I did. Got them.

I want to discuss one of the uglier, less competitive games of the day. Georgia Clemson. Hi. Oof. Yeah. Dabohom. crying in his weird little castle. No, Dabo, Dabo's not crying.

Davo's not crying. Everything's not crying. Everything's absolutely fantastic. Dabo said, I feel bad for the fans. Yeah. Dabo, have you met your fans? He used to meet him when they were allowed to call him on the phone. Yeah, this was a game, if you wanted to know, hey, when was this game over?

It was when the game started was the first place. I disagree with that. No, Clemson said. I actually disagree with that. Nothing. So are you saying it was just guaranteed Georgia was going to score eventually and Clemson never was? Yeah, Clemson was never going to score.

That game could have ended 3-0, Georgia. Okay, yeah. That's my argument. Because Clemson is so inert. So inert. I have a question about, sorry. Well, as former Atlanta Falcons, wide receiver, Roddy White put it, Clemson has too many white guys.

Too many white guys at the skill positions, and I think that's critical problem that they should address. Roddy White said that. I have a question about Georgia that I'm going to try and walk out here very carefully. Great. Because I said, well, no, I said this earlier. And I said, is it possible? Kirby's not like this.

Will Mustchamp would have done this. Kirby does not, this is not how Kirby's brain works and it's not how Mike Boeho coaches. But would it not be funny if Georgia was determined to not open the playbook against Clemson? Because that's the only explanation. That's the only, maybe more of the only rational explanations I can think of. For Georgia, maybe the only team in the country who we're sure from week one can go athlete to athlete with anybody else in the country, going into play Clemson and acting like they don't have horses. Is it worse that they didn't have to? No, that's what I'm saying.

That's what I'm saying. Is it because they didn't have to or are we seeing something else? I think we have no way of knowing, but let's recklessly speculate. So Michael Serber is not on this show. Our producer Doug is the one who handles this one. Doug's here, but we're going to let Doug hang out. And Serber has expressed great belief in the front seven for Clemson. And I think some of the first half bore that out.

But a lot of, like, Clemson's offense just wasn't on the fucking field for a lot of this game. And it felt like at some point it was like you cannot, you cannot ask. any team to just go out there and be like, yeah, that's fine. We'll get five more stops. Like, Georgia only had five more minutes of possession in this game, but it did not feel that way for long stretches. And that only flipped because Clemson got like, you know, a couple, a long field goal drive. And, and Georgia started scoring quickly and just didn't have the ball anymore. I think there is maybe more to be respected about Clemson's defense or defensive potential. But to Spencer's point, it might not matter because you threw 29 passes and you didn't get to 150 yards.

That's a problem. I'm with user William. I'm with William in here. Kirby didn't want to show Georgia Tech his playbook. Smart. Actually, based on the revolution that Brent. key is bringing over from Ireland. He's going to unify the state of Georgia.

The W.W.E. James is apparently joined Georgia Tech's roster of pro wrestlers. Sure. That's right. They've brought him home. Like, yeah, this is just... It's real bad. It's really, really super bad.

Like, there were a couple of things today that I would qualify as, as, okay, yeah, it's just week one. No, this is real bad. And it's either going to slide sideways or get worse. And one of them is Clemson's offense because I understand George is very talented. I understand they have reeds, but what that offense is doing right now, there is a play from the first, no, second quarter that was the funniest shit I saw all day,

which was formation, they line up, Clemson motions a receiver across the form, they shift, then they motion a receiver across the formation. Then they do a play fake, and they play fake to the back, and the back goes out on the flat. So they're play faking to the guy they're going to throw to, which isn't necessarily a terrible thing all the time. But then they get a little half roll like, oh, another thing, right? Thrust, dodge, Perry, twist. They move left.

And then they, then Kade Clubnick winds up and fires right to the guy in the flat. And there are two Georgia defenders who have not moved the entire time. They are just standing there. They just no-so-old all the window dressing. You're describing that scene in Raiders in the Lost Ark with the swords. I am, yeah, more timely references. We are, yeah, like, they're just two dudes both waiting there like, hello, hi, this is Mercedes-Benz Stadium. It kind of feels like a lot of the play calling, especially like some of the decisions not to go for it or like to kick that fucking field, that 26-yard field goal to cut the lead from 13 to 10.

A lot of it feels like Clemson is going out there acting under the assumption. that they have the same talent level they did when they were playing for national championships and that they can call a game in the same way like they don't they don't try anything like I think other teams when they play Georgia or Ohio State or Michigan or like you know a top team that they they understand that there is a talent deficit they like they understand we have to we have to try some shit Clemson doesn't try any shit Yeah. They're just like we can line up and do football against you.

And George is like you really can't. Yeah. So like the thing about, you know, they brought over Garrett Riley, exciting offensive coordinator. And it's like, is this actually going to change anything? Or is he going to be consumed into Davo's cult of personality? Right? Like is it even going to matter that they finally hired from outside the,

um, his little family tree? So far, I don't know. Yeah. Yeah. Because, uh, Ola, staffers, they've been there a real long time. And sometimes when you bring in a new coach, it doesn't really matter because you didn't bring in all the assistants who understand what that guy is trying to do or believe in it and can teach it. We're going to get to the power of the team with a thousand assistants, the Florida gators. Hang on, hang on, slanderous comments about cap and server chickening out of the show because Clemson lost me.

But y'all, Serber's literally never done full cast after dark. Not only do we have a whole ass different producer for it, we just introduced him like five minutes ago. Get with it. your princess is in another castle everybody. Yeah, hi, I'm right here. Oh, shit. Oh, shit. Y'all woke up, Doug. Oh, hey, Doug. How many seasons? How many seasons have you been back there, Doug? I think we're on season four now.

Too many. Don't answer that question. Herbert does not deserve the shit, man. Doug Erasure and Serber slander? That's right. Shit, y'all. Spencer, before we talk about the exciting Florida Miami game, would you like to tell us a little bit about this week's sponsor, prize picks? That's right, official sponsor of the Fullcast After Dark, prize picks.

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ten dollars into one thousand dollars all right uh for instance you know if you think if you're watching um you know the the pros the pros if you will and you got a receiver who you go oh i think he's going to get more than 90 yards in week one guess what you just tap more that's that's how it works uh price picks is available in more than 30 states across the country including yes California, Texas, and Georgia. We have done this. It is but simple, super easy. It's so simple, Spencer's explaining it.

It's so simple, I'm explaining it, right? And I'm currently even, currently even, which... That's not more or less. Well, that's graded against how other people do. That's me being up, technically being up. So, you can download the prize picks app today and use code full cast dark for a first deposit match up to $100. That's code full cast dark on prize picks for a deposit match up to $100.

Prize picks, run your game. Speaking of dark. We're going to go there. Speaking of a game. Yeah, speaking of a game. One team did run. All right. So Spencer and I talked beforehand, and we agreed that only one of us should speak on this.

so I'm going to just I have a lot of thoughts I think this is sweet that's sweet of y'all I have a lot of I have a lot of thoughts but I'm going to keep from quiet and I'm going to let Spencer talk about wait wait wait no if you do it it'll be shorter no that's okay Spencer's more interesting than I am and I'm fine with that so he can he's also like there's also likely he'll like take off downhill and we can't catch him nope I'm going to be very quick and tell everybody exactly what happened in this game yes all right go ahead Miami was better at the offensive line defensive line wide receiver at defensive back at linebacker they probably punted better but i'm not even going to look that up they have an outstanding pair of running backs by the way in fletcher at

martinez who are wallopers and they barely have to use them because they were that good savior restrepo is really great cam ward is a revelation i will say it is very hard to tell exactly how much of a revelation because he was going up against the team that has not been recruited well enough to play sloppy football and make it up on talent and hasn't been coached well enough to be less talented but smarter and in the right place they don't do anything well they're not going to do anything well it's year three billy napier doesn't do any of that shit he's going to get fired and that's pretty much all we need to say because that will be every game this season it's going to be the worst season in florida football history there i only want to add one

thing. Sure. I lied. You know Florida's fucked because we have entered the death spiral where people are talking about Billy Napier not in terms of how the team could get better, who they, like, where there's room for improvement, what they can fix week one to week two. All of the discussion is like, well, Florida would have to pay Billy Napier a lot of money and they have an interim president right now. It's all like side bullshit. That's, has nothing to do with football about why Billy Napier might might not get fired yeah once you get into like well there's institutional context yeah football team is doing great once you're explaining the rules of the board game like it has nothing to do once you're like so you remember been

sassy yeah Dan Mullen is indeed dunking on his former employer on Twitter let him Via co-worker. My only other feeling, honestly, this is not to discount Miami or anything Miami did. Florida is such a mess and is such a like inconsistent shit show that it makes it hard for me to like get a good read on how good Miami is. Yeah, I can I can leave them at good. That's a good football team. Oh, I don't doubt that they're good. but like yeah that's a good football team

Cam Ward is like hanging out in a clean pocket thrown across his body without with impunity throwing to guys who are wide open who then don't get tackled very quickly and and there you put all this together and you're just sort of like it doesn't look hard sometimes it doesn't look hard because you're a very good football team

and I'm not I'm not like ruling out that that's what Miami is but be yeah sometimes you're playing somebody who just like is fucking clueless is just fucking clueless yeah it's and worst of all it's boring Florida football is

boring as shit right now I know we hated all the other coaches before this but they were not so consistently boring as this football team is so over under rest of the way four total wins on the year

that's probably that's a and I might be three man I don't know okay so under can I can I take a push sure like it feels 40 it feels four and eight less that's what that's it there we're the tolerance of our sponsor the brand is strong yeah so assuming Florida has a losing record on the year which feels likely looking at this schedule um this would be four straight losing seasons for the gators which has not happened since the 19th And that was like 60 years before y'all invented football. Yeah.

It's bad. Like there's, there's, this is, this is a low. There will be new lows. They don't do anything right. And they show no ability to get better. So my personal advice is you should watch something else. Yes. It's not even a good hate watch.

No, it's not, it's not interesting bad. Yeah. It's not. we're not even going to be a pleasant farce maybe if they decide like fuck it we're going with dj lagway maybe then i can see like some interest in doing this but for now yeah and like good good on miami for putting together a game where mario christobald didn't have to make any choices whatsoever like we love dogging on mario christopal's game management there was this was this was passive income baby what

what an investment yeah dude is one in eight in rivalry games too like you just go man you can't do any of this shit you can't do any of this shit like not not a bit of it not a single fuck a bit of it I think you should just declare

Samford a rival it's it's tough because people have several people including friends of this show have told me that this is Florida's Brady Hoke and Brady Hoke's record at Michigan It was so much better than Billy Napier's. It's not even close.

Yeah. Ron Zook's record was better, man. You're going to say, Ron Zook was your Brady Hoag. Dan Mullen was way better. Yeah, Dan Mullen was better. Yeah. So it's bad. It's all bad.

It's bad. And we're steering out of Florida zone now. Thank you. Thank you. It was really fun for a few minutes. And Florida is really interesting. I think they're one of the most interesting teams right now. Also, we're all going to laugh really hard when we think.

think Miami is good based on this game. There's that. You should also look at Miami's features. There's some week oneness here. Yeah, we're not going to play the schedule game. That's really mean of Florida when you think about it. Nothing about Miami's next two months really is going to disabuse you of that notion, as far as I can tell. Yeah, I think we'll stick a pin in $26 million.

That is interesting. I wanted to discuss how a thing I saw like a lot of today was people saying, saying like, oh, college football 25, the video game wasn't actually making up bullshit on me. This is what college football is actually like. You know, like the craziest interception you've ever seen. The reps briefly forget the rules. You know, a coach does something absolutely random. The game is just broken all over the place.

And like, you know, yeah, sports kind of got that right. The game wasn't lying to you. This is what college football looks like. whole line forgot how to block yeah that's what the patch does and sometimes that's what real life does Dave Ducks says the SEC probably can't hang beyond Georgia Dave are you an Oregon fam because there is a moat there is a moat in your eye that you might want to tend to second of all Vanderbill Texas looked really good Tennessee looked like I understand I understand who they played week one and and just is it's probably just as dangerous to overreact

Yeah, Oregon played Idaho. There is that. Poorly. Idaho is a former FBS team here. That's true. Yeah. That's true. Oh, the Arborals.

Yeah, Texas looked fine. Bama has not, like, again, week one, a lot to change. Everybody just calm down to some extent, but I don't, I don't agree with that assessment of the SSC. That doesn't sound like that. South Carolina is in trouble. Yes, I agree with that. South Carolina won. That's true.

Another team that looked good, this is how I know I follow the right Ohio State fans, that if I had just judged by social media reactions to game one, I would have sworn that they had beaten Akron 13 to 10. Yes. It did look like shit for a while. Yeah, they were attempting. That's kind of their thing, though.

When you're that talented. When they're not going up like 70 to nothing on Savannah, like baking school, they're doing something like this. Dude, it'd be awesome if Savannah Baking School had a bangin defense. Like, if they're like, yeah, you're going to beat them because they can't score for shit. But holy fuck, their defensive line. It's just Charleston. It's just college of Charleston, but you can smoke inside.

The muffin monsters. Very specific Savannah Slander. They ended up winning 526. It's fine. The Accord, though, was up 3-0. Take a picture of the scoreboard, y'all. they were up 30 at one point they did that shit speaking of a team that was up 3 o the iowa hawkeyes then managed to accumulate 40 points in a single regulation game of american football

i'm warning we should put a content content warning before that jason because dangerously erotic iowa football after literally years of forecast after dark including a vomiting while reading iowa box score segment um this is new this is this is thrilling this is exciting um through three touchdowns there was a stat that was like three touchdowns a wide receiver excuse me yeah that's three touchdowns the wide receivers just like equal to all the last season like sure they're playing illinois state illinois state's decent that's a solid fcs team this is the kind of team that you know a year ago they would have put up like um 10 4.1 points on somehow yeah iOS they did great That's the first time Iowa's thrown three passing touchdowns in a game since 2021.

Were we doing full cast after dark in 2021? There's a quiz. What year is this? Like, if you were a freshman. How many years have we been doing this? If you were a freshman at Iowa for the 2021 season, you saw that three touchdown passing game against, I think it was against Maryland. You are now a senior, and you might have entered the season being like, well, don't think I'm seeing another one. That was it.

but came back to mayor, came through, and you know who wasn't there for all of it? Like fairytale of New York, but for football. Kirk Ferris. Suspended for recruiting shenanigans. The restrictor plate. And look at what you guys do. Disgusting. The restrictor plate itself.

Also, the Iowa under, the Iowa under, still cashed. Still cashed by one point. I choose to leave that Kirk Ferrence is fine that this happened while he wasn't home, because he's that parent who's like, I'd rather you didn't drink, but if you do, please do it. There's no way it's that cool.

I see this as like, let him get it out of her system. Then first, like tomorrow, Monday at practice is like, all right, you little fuckers. Well,

I'll be on your fun. We'll be putting up 16 on Illinois. No more, no more of that bullshit the rest of the way. Meanwhile, Brian Ferrence, his Maryland Terrapins put up 50.

So, It's family running wild. September Maryland, baby. September Maryland is coming. It's September as of right now. Pitt beat Ken State 5524. That also was real dicey for a while there. It ended up being fine.

And Pitt's quarterback threw for 33 yards and three touchdowns. But for a minute. Speaking of, Pitt fans are interested in one thing and it discussed that Narduzzi. scoring 55 points which is never going to happen again not on my watch someone in the comments has recommended

that Dabo needs to hire Brian Farrants I think we've finally solved all our problems at once yeah this is Eli Holstein killer fucking name man Eli Holstein 333 yards on the day

three scores I believe he had like 219 yards at the half he was on fire The word electrifies is in the description of a punt return TD for Pitt. What about Pitt has been electric? Nothing. Absolutely nothing over the past couple of years.

So, yes, it's Ken State, but damn, damn, double-digit scoring every single quarter. That's impressive. It's impressive. We have a few games that are still going. Kentucky fans are so drunk. point because this game like started two hours late it's delayed in the third year dollar snacks oh no i feel kentucky mans are going to feel terrible tomorrow because they're going to be like how did i accidentally drink 16 beers what happened to be clear the game is delayed in the third

quarter it's 31 to nothing and they're not calling this game no no no they are not doing that the hell. Run the fucking clock. Run that shit. And Arizona State is beating Wyoming 27 to 0. Strong. And Arizona State should be considered. Yeah. Are there any

games, because it's week one, because it stretches further back in a time, I don't want us to neglect our Thursday, Friday, brethren. Are there any games from earlier in the week that you would like to discuss? Yes. Go for it.

let's talk about Mac Brown draining PJ Fleck like a fucking Tommy knocker let me see your carotid son first of all I'm convinced there's at least one Fox producer now who is in on the joke and who knows what they're doing because the cameras initially missed the beginning or they did not cut to initially the beginning of the Fleck Mac Brown

midfield encounter and then not only did they go back and show us a clip of it from a different angle when they came back from the break for the post game interviews they played it again in slow-mo thank you Fox we appreciate you

man it's important to see the exact moment when the life brains for your eyes I would put that up there in the top four of Matt Brown post-game handshakes in which he drains the life from his opponents the two of the others are miami coaches i think the uh he he did

man he did manny real bad with like a quintuple grab he did a real weird one with mario the worst one i think is still to date is when he grabbed shame beamer by the throat yeah sure sure daddy don't yeah uh mac brown has said one of i think the meanest things unintentionally i've ever heard him say after it's not he's a fucking church biddy it's not unintentional uh But where he's real good at acting like it's unintentional. So UNC beats Minnesota after allowing Minnesota to go on like a pretty easy drive that should set up the game winning field goal. Minnesota misses this field goal. And Mac Brown is asked after the game, like, you know, what do you think of this, that, and the other?

And he says, well, that's the best of our defense is played in years. And I was just like, Gene Chisick can hear you, man. He's not here anymore. But his friends might be watching this. There's no way Gene Chiswick's watching. that game that's fair jean chiswick was we really improved our coaching in the offseason and like they were they were better on defense but still jean chisick you didn't have to specifically point out the jean jes yes i did yes i did it felt like that um yeah by the way p j p j fleck lining up for a long

field goal like it's gold if you're a college coach and do this fuck you oh my god i saw i saw it three or four times today, lining up and stack it up a 40-yard field goal like it's a CD. But in PJ Flex defense, Minnesota has a kicker who's like this six-foot-four, 260 Serbian dude who everybody on the team loves. And I'm like, yeah, I want him to win the game. I do want him to win the game, too, which is why you should go score a touchdown or get him closer when you have over a minute left on the clock instead of being like no yoroslav's got this no that's not i don't know if his name is yes i think it is no ronko i'm going to have to write a letter now gonna have to write a letter yeah but yeah

don't don't do that shit don't that's loser's shit i saw some serious loser shit by coaches today that's loser shit okay vandy tried to lose on that but you know who didn't let that happen fate because fate was like my man diego's got this it's a little i for vandy it's a little different when when it's tied and also like what is vandy going to do like be like yes now we'll uncork our 40-yard passing route you know no we're going to let dea we're going to let diego poppy do some shit that's your new plan instead of that instead of 40-yard field goal Diego pavia's just going to run what is a better plan what work today ryan it's the coach is gesturing from it's Instead of gesturing downfield, it's the coach is gesturing from the sideline to midfield just going, fuck it, Diego's over there somewhere.

Sure. Yeah. You look over at Jerry Kill and you go, hey, mystical beaver, I need you to come up with a cool play. And he'll be like, yeah, sure, we could do that. It's much, I will say, it's much more painful that Virginia Tech, like, got bailed out by that Miss Field goal and then had to lose an overtime anyway. I'm sorry to break in, but we have a disturbing news from Declan. am I to understand that Bip Poji was wearing a polo shirt?

Huh. It's over. Sell out. Ugh. That game didn't go well either. Interesting. I mean, not that the ones where he did, where he wore like, you know,

Dad, why did you wear that to the restaurant? Where those went well, so I get it. Trying to look stylish. Thank you, barbasket.gov. It's pole over. Speaking of looking stylish, my playoff pick NC State, looking so fine. with that 3821 win over

Western Carolina Shut up God that looked bad When y'all turn on each other I think it looked very handsome Michigan States win against Florida Atlanta God Perfect no

No I'm not going to hear any slander on the shit This is Michigan State's back Michigan State's box score Back where Michigan State's box store by quarter 2-1400 get out of here with this garbage. Come on.

It adds up. The numbers add up and they spell disaster for Florida Atlantic. That's right. That's the kind of garbage that only makes Michigan State stronger. Every year when they were good, Mark D'Antonia would roll out a team that in week one would come out and they would beat Eastern Michigan by a score of 16 to 12. Yeah.

That's it. This is tradition. Didn't they like barely beat Utah State one year, I want to say? They did that every year. They'd roll out. be like, oh, we don't know how to do anything. Yeah. Yeah, Michigan State Week 1 is surreal, like, oh, I slept terrible, but I got to go to work.

Oh, my darn back hurts. Speaking of fashion and looking great, also in attendance for Texas A&M tonight, wearing a maroon howdy shirt was glowing Arizona fascist Carrie Lake. Oh, that's fun. So that added to the cruise curse, I think. Like, even though teams in her state are playing? Sure. Idiot.

She's trying to win Texas. Is she running for anything? I don't understand. She's running for a Senate seat in Arizona. Okay. Sure. Fuck Arizona State, I guess. Why, I need your vote here in college state.

It's pretty far. It's really fucking far away. This is shades of when, what's her name, Carly Fiorina, rooted against her alma mater in the Rose Bowl. And then lost by like 7,000 points. She was like, I hope both teams have played good to play hard and to make good points. No, she was like, I love my alma mater, but today I'm an Iowa fan. I love my alma mater, but I'm a huge, huge monster.

I don't want to gatekeep, but if you are a politician and you decide to do a college football, either know what the fuck you're doing or just, like, stay out of it completely. Or just, like, say I am a huge Georgia fan. All you have to do is say go blank. Like, come on. Or fuck the NCAA. If you say fuck the NCAA, People will share no matter where you are.

Watch the votes roll in. It's so easy. It's the easiest thing to not fuck up. You know what I like is kickoffs. Yeah. We love when that happens. But then NFL fans are like, we don't know anymore. Maybe.

I don't know. Those are confusing. Maybe they're great. I have to watch an employer. Somebody in the comments says, Arizona person in the comments says we don't claim car. Like, buddy, I got to tell you, we live in Georgia and Tennessee. That's not how it works.

Is it carie? Oh, yeah, it is. Okay. I think. I feel bad that I know that. This is the lady who was giving a speech and was receiving the on-stage prompts of get the fuck off. No, no, have you seen the AP photos of her teleprompter? Yes.

Yeah. Oh, God. Shut the fuck up. The big guy is antsy. The big boys got some shit to blurbill. he's going to talk about the time that he and morgan fairchild went to a lovely party together get the fuck off stage we want to hear about the late great hannibal lector sometimes you say shit like that and i'm like chris connell he's running for president

that's an inside joke i have a do we do we want to talk about pennsyte west virginia a little bit a little bit yeah can i tell you what okay yeah can i tell you what i knew we were in trouble because it was right at the beginning of the game and Spencer is a witness. I knew that we were in trouble when I was informed by the broadcast and now this is from

this is real like this is like coal holler knowledge as someone hailing from a different Eastern European block I knew that we were in trouble when I saw that Penn State had

a robustly shaped offensive coordinator with what sounded like a Polish last name. Because if you've never been in a coal camp and don't have family in a cold camp, I got to tell y'all, man, those Polish kids always got cousins and they can all fight.

Spencer, did I not turn to you and say we're in trouble? Yeah, Andy Coatilnicki, the former offensive coordinator. I don't actually know if he's even Polish. Yeah. But he gives off Polish fighting vibes and they also feared and respected. He also is a robust

gentleman who described his offense as like you know good stuff but with some candy all over it you know it's simple stuff but you know you put candy and you get i was like oh yeah this this guy's going to be great pen state they also had a guard on the line whose last name is wormy and i'm like oh we are fucking toast yeah pen state as long as as long as james doesn't grab the wheel looks like their offense can be productive can be productive i didn't say like great but they look a little more dynamic. Drewella looks more comfortable. Polish readers weighing in in the comments.

They'll grow up kicking each other's asses, then they'll kick yours for fun. Yes. Yeah. Yeah, they like push the ball downfield more and more effectively than they have. That looked weird. I'd see that.

That did look a little weird. Also, one of the most bafflingly officiated games, like not even like, oh, this is why West Virginia lost or anything like that. I didn't want to talk about it because I don't want it to sound like sour. No, I'm true. Like, they were, I don't mean like, oh, this is, this is what decided the game, because I don't think it did, but it was just like, there were so many times where it would be like, well, as you can see here, this is going to get overturned. And then they just be like, no, call stance, whatever, move on, stop living in the past. Ref's moving on too.

Also, Gus Johnson wore full sear sucker and is kind of, this is comp, this part is, this is complimentary. is aging into like a kind of like a Norman Osborne look that I think really works for him you know I'm something of a scientist too no no really go look also by the way in under the wire wearing Searsucker to start Labor Day weekend very clever yeah you know I don't know if he listens to the show or not but if on air he goes am I a bad person Joel clatt It was their 10th anniversary

and you can kind of imagine as you see the weariness in Joel clatt's eyes as they discussed this you can't kind of imagine Joel clatt talking to a mask of Gus at night the goblin calls

I do like when Jill clatt is on the call for a poorly officiated game because he can't he can't be cool about it No patience for it. He cannot be chill about it in the snow. No, it's so great.

Like, Joel Glad is the kind of person who if you, if, if you were in the airport with him and they kept delaying the flight, like he'd just be loudly talking about these airlines, they don't know what the fuck they're doing anymore. They can't get their shit together. Now they got to, they've timed out this crew, so we got to wait on some fucking pilot to come all the way from a gate 30 minutes away. What are we doing here? and I appreciate that about him he just can't be like well you know I guess that's how they're calling it nope Joel clad is like oh this is also stupid

yeah I don't get it thank you Joel thank you Joel I know we all have our agreements and disagreements with announcers but that is one thing that with Joel you go thank you for that that's a comfort to the to the listener reviewer yeah can I can I offer

one more quick bit of praise oh sure I wanted to answer one more question Oh, sure. Question from the bopper. What did Gus and Joel do during the rain delay? At the very start of the rain delay, what they did was make fun of the Fox desk crew who had been down on the field and go ahead to find shelter. Like, they were like, ha ha, the fancy boys are getting rained on.

Kyle McCord, no longer welcome in Ohio State, cast out, sent to the Syracuse Wilderness, 354 yards and four touchdowns in a win against Ohio. You're home, Kyle. all right we got a statement here from the SEC by mutual agreement of the participating institutions as permitted by NCAA rules tonight's game between Kentucky and Southern Mississippi has been terminated

and it's considered a complete game this is a lie it is a half game with a final score of 310 in favor of Kentucky all statistics in this game are considered final and complete again incorrect this is going down as a half game which is how we eventually get to NC state it

8.5 wins. Thank you. Okay. Great. Hate to correct the SEC, but you know. Yeah, listen, they called it a complete, they terminated the game and they called it complete, but these 28 beers are still in my bloodstream, Randy, what are we doing? Now you're sending everybody in that stadium to sleep in,

to sleep it off in their cars in a wet parking lot. Way to go. Again, I've been doing this a lot lately. Quitters. it's been hard at home Kentucky people can die No Kentucky people can't die That's your mistake Because they're pickled

I don't think that's how pickles I don't think that's how pickles I don't think pickles are ever living Now that I think about it I don't think every cucumber you pickle Although traditional In a traditional pickling liquid Does use lye

Which is used in concentrated form To dissolve bodies Huh You don't make pickles in a parking lot You can You can't make pickles in a parking lot We're talking about Kentucky football. I bet Andy Coddlenick, you would make pickles in a parking lot.

You don't make pickles in a parking lot. Okay, Paul Harvey. You know what? That's by my children's book. You don't make pickles in a parking lot. A children's book about football and tailkating. It has too many cusses. Kids love that.

Someone's got to teach him. You ever seen it? Listen, if you ever find anyone happier than a child who's just heard an outrageous profanity, let me know. because I haven't seen it yet. Sure. I hope, you know what? Based on that logic,

I bet a lot of kids had fun at the Florida, Miami can today. Oh, I bet they learned a lot of stuff. Miami fans with homophobic slurs not even yet invented. Like, they're dropping new ones. It's a wonderful state full of wonderful people. It's a terrible place. I wouldn't have set the bottom of the ocean. No one will miss it.

There we go. This is what I was waiting for earlier. Not a bit of it Some of it No No not a goddamn bit Name one Maybe

Jimmy Butler Jimmy's gonna go somewhere else He'll get out He'll get out He'll be fun He'll be making coffee in the Swiss Alps or some shit The land The hydroponic farming ride at Epcot

It's hydroponic It'll be fine Yeah it'll be fine It's right of this shit um okay i mean we should hey nebraska kick the shit out of utip we're not very nice in nebraska and i just feel like we should raise that that's all i don't think it's us that's mean to nebraska picked them for the people's team okay yeah dillon raola which didn't make either one of us happy all right but we can't deny it i apologize

no they are the people's team we're not mean to nebraska we just describe the things that happened in nebraska yeah Nebraska football is mean to Nebraska the state that feels mean, though. Like, if, if, if, if there was a podcast that talked about all the bad times in my life and was just like, we're just telling people what happened. Like, I would feel bad. No, we're making, we're making Nebraska football fans feel seen, Ryan. So. I don't think they want that. I don't think they want that. Everyone loves to be, everyone loves the, to have their, um, their feelings affirmed and acknowledged, Ryan. And so to be told that like, hey, Nebraska, it's so valid that, um, you think all the terrible things your team has done are terrible. Uh-huh. That was. really great emotional support by us when we did that for years good job us i guess is the lesson i need to hop back to michigan real quick because uh we have at least one listener tonight who wore the temporary spencer's face tattoos that we gave out after the charity bowl this year yeah thank at least one person wore it into the big house tonight so to clarify because i think somebody was asking that is not somebody did not really get well

I can't say for sure. No, no, no. I can't say for sure. If you weren't on, the, the, the, the, if you see someone with a full colored tattoo of Spencer's face, uh, a la, the Jaguar Spencer from a few years ago. But it's his, uh, it's his real face colored face. And he's holding a rose in his teeth. That is a special secret prize that we gave out to Michigan donors from the charity bowl, uh, who came to our, who came to our party this summer. And I don't actually think we ever posted them online.

So I didn't realize that until today this man was posting about, he might have gotten a real tattoo over the top of it. And if he did, we're going to have to, we're going to have to go with some new way of celebrating that. That's cool. If we didn't mention your team, like, yeah, Ole Miss, kick the shit out of Herman. Y'all are asking to be mailed one. Did you go to Michigan and did you donate to the charity bowl? No, you can't have one in this special. damn sorry uh if we didn't mention your team it's because we hate them it's because we

personally hate them and we hope they do badly it's because we're trying to keep them off of ted cruz's radar we don't want him to know about your team i heard you had spright for my eggs they're hatching soon and i need it we'll be there how is that worse than the bobby petrino voice spritz my eggs. No. No, don't say my eggs in that My eggs need glazed.

No. No. Have eggs. No. Oh, just lacquer it on there. Seven up will not be acceptable. Doug, why are you texting me the thing when I begged him not to say.

Stop it. Get eggs through customs. Take the Cancun. Match, say please. The eggs are in my back. Oh my God, I hate it here. Love to sport. Love to sport.

Does this sporting establishment have more sprite? Do my eggs look infected? Good. Good. That means they are ready. To be consumed. Hello, Albert's Trev. Thank you.

I should not have taken an edible before the show. We are welcoming. I'm never getting high before this show again. Yeah. Execute pour for power. And steal their eggs. Yeah, I'm asleep next to your wife, Robert. How do you think I feel?

Oh, boy. Oh, man. Thank you. Yeah, Jay Polto says, edible plus full cast after dark is my go-to move, it's fine. That's my go-to-mov and I am not fine. I think what we could do is we could pay someone to animate

like Ted Cruz's chestburster. Yeah, but he's happy about it? Yeah. Yeah. But he's at last. He's like, at last I have a friend. Ascension Day is here. I have blossomed. Ted is a beautiful flower. I don't like

it out here. I'm going back in there. His voice is adorable. Ryan's and Spencer's are scary and I don't like them. I would like to, sincerely, Spencer, thank you for all the episodes where you didn't do this. I just want to point out someone in the comments has typed. I would rather you do Ricky Jervais. Someone has typed Ted Cruz erect chest burst.

Okay, remind us when we promo this episode just to tweet out, no title, no context, just Ted Cruz, erect chest, Ted Cruz eggs, question mark. Ted Cruz Sprite eggs? Ted Cruz eggs. Sack. You said sack. You took it there.

No, just with a, no, just with a. Oh, my God. Oh, my God. Oh, my God. Yeah. Oh, you didn't want me to make it worse? No, it's fine. I can't make it worse.

Like, where the fuck is he going to go when Texas and Texas A&M play each other? Like, are they just going to keep, like, foisting them off? and the other, like, Ted, I hear they have really good spoilt. Oh, yes. Please voiced me. Oh, God. No, what they're going to do is they're going to be like, Baylor will pay you a million dollars to occupy him for the weekend.

Just take him out to the country. Now, okay, I wish, man, if you're listening to this show later, you really missed out because the comments right now are just a spinning wall of people typing over and over again, Ted Cruz's eggs. Do you agree?

Coach. those are going to be some good LinkedIn comments Hey LinkedIn, hey LinkedIn, come look at this Why is Ted Cruz eggs trending on LinkedIn? Spencer, this is probably a good place to end the show. I'm not even sure I can bring myself to type the words Ted Cruz eggs. This would be a good place to end the show. If you are listening, by the way, we'll update you on the few ongoing games.

middle tennessee is currently up on tennessee tech 2418 Arizona is up 2724 in a tight one with the loboes early in the third quarter Arizona state is routing Wyoming 34 to nutton and jet fishes you can't say that after all that talk about ted cruz's eggs

would it be more or less upsetting if they were spores ted cruz nutton is worse eggs is worse Eggs is worse, yeah And Washington is up 14 to 0 over Weber State Oh, they don't feel good

Yeah, that's all right, that's all right Hey, what sponsor do you want to attach to this mess right? He's responsible for this, Spencer? Ted Cruz, eggs have been brought to you by Prize picks, select an egg. Prize picks, that's right.

More eggs. Selects an egg. More eggs. The Follcastlecksts after Dark sponsored by prize picks. If you want more of this exciting content, and not less, thank them. We are thrilled. Oh, no.

Surprisingly, tedcruiseegs.com is available. Oh, well, okay. Lloyd, get on that. We have to hang up now. We do. We do. Thank you for joining us. This is fun.

We're going to do it every week because it's college football, and we love it along with eggs. Which came first, the pick-em or the eggs. Right. Bye. It's awesome!