Shutdown Fullcast - Fullcast After Dark: The Annual Mark Stoops-Kirby Smart Points Retreat

Episode Date: September 15, 2024

SHOW NOTES- A rules innovation only Ryan's broken brain could provide- Spencer Hall, anatomy expert and the rise of WHEELS MANNING- What South Carolina-LSU had in common with The Cheesecake Factory- WARNING Earnest discussion of Florida's hiring foibles over time WARNING - Indiana won the Rose Bowl- A funny thing happened on the way home from Arizona State-Texas State - Sovereign Quarterback John Mateer - Fullcast After Dark theme song arranged and performed by Corey Cunningham - Buy tickets for our 10/3 show at Furnace Fest in Birmingham, and send MUSIC DISASTERS to [e-mail] https://www.seetickets.us/event/shutdown-fullcast-live/603983- Jason's free CFB Watch Grid newsletter and other stuff: https://www.jasonkirk.fyi/- Find Holly and Spencer writing and chirping at channel-6.ghost.io- Listen to Ryan's other, less harrowing podcast, We're Not All Like This and check out his new project at assigned.substack.com - Purchase only the finest Fullcast gear at sunny preownedairboats.com

I have an idea I would like to propose. Oh, yeah, please. I think this was inspired by watching Arizona State, Texas State. Great game, by the way. Excellent game. I think we should eliminate half a distance to the goal as a penalty against the offense. I think if the penalty would put you in the end zone, we put you just one yard into the end zone. That's it.

and we say you have one play to get out if you don't get out if you don't gain yardage from there it's a safety incomplete pass safety zero gain safety like just just like flip it on them Brian I have a question yeah go ahead does this also apply on the other side of the field no and here's why it should football should be harder for the offense like the whole point of football is the office is supposed to have the hard job the football the football The offense is supposed to have the hard job. And so this rule does not apply on the other side where the offense would get the ball in the end zone and have one play to successfully not lose yardage. No, we're not doing that.

So you say this idea was inspired by the Arizona State, Texas State thriller. But what I'm hearing is less, which indicates to me that it's also being influenced by Kentucky Georgia. It's not less. It's more because there will be more safeties. More safeties. Okay. And then more short fields due to safety kickoffs. Oh, you know what there will also be more of?

You know what some T's will do in this situation? They'll fucking punt. They'll punt with snapping the ball from their own end zone. The punt with like one foot of... Yes, with no room. They'll have to snap it like diagonally so the putter can do anything with it. Mark Stoops is so happy even just hearing this. He's like, oh, yes.

Oh, God, yes. So... All right. Should we do the welcome and then get right to the punt? Yeah, I suppose we should do it. You're right to the punt. Right to the punt. The punt is the discourse.

That's right. That's a horrifying metaphor waiting for us all. Are you sure you want him to go? Oh yeah, you want me to go. I can't wait for it. You want this goodness. All right. Wow

By Spencer He left That man went into orbit He took off He's going to go rescue the astronauts All right, they're still up there Yeah, they're still up there man They're still up there, man

I feel like I need to be So much shit happens here That I feel I need to be reminded That we should also Maintain some awareness Of what's going on out there They might not even know It Florida states O and 3

Hey, real quick, Do you know how many other power conference teams are oh and three? None. None. None of them. Zero. They did it. Oh, no. Unconquered. Do you know how many AP top 10 teams have gone 0 and 3 since the 1980s excluding

the COVID year? Two. None. Just Florida State. However I worded that, the answer is one and it's Florida State. More. No others. Yeah. How many other AP talk 10 teams are allowed to smoke indoors in their dorms. Mm-hmm.

Yeah, answer that question, huh? Kentucky's not? Mm-hmm. Top 10. Hey, Tommy, can you do some research on that? Let's get research on that. I said AP top 10. So since Bobby Bowden's second year at Florida State, which is kind of the beginning

of Florida State football, how many coaches besides Mike Norville have started a season, O in 3 or worse? Nobody. None. Nobody. So that's less. He's less. He's done it twice.

Oh, wait, now we have more. He has an 0 and an 0 and 3 and counting. Prize picks. Oh, and who's coming in next for Florida State? Oh, God. That would be the woke agenda itself. Do we have woke Campbell Stadium looming on the horizon? Thank you, Cal, Twitter.

That's right. These music's brought to you by prize picks. By prize picks. That's right. I'll show brought to you by our sponsor, prize picks. And if cows come to town, I'm here, and less, less, bring that number down

in terms of totals. That's right. I wanted to tell you a horrifying story. Something straight from the bookshelves. A story, a tale of intrigue, science, gone of rye, mystery, and horror. Are you ready to hear it?

Hell yeah. Is this about how you fought in the Korean War after high school? No, I'm going to tell that to you neck once the ketamine kicks in. But first what I'm going to do is this. I'm going to tell you a story about two friends, Mark and Kirby. Mark and Kirby, they have nine to five jobs, families. They live normal everyday lives.

But once a year, they get in canoes and they paddle off the coast onto a strange island, once inhabited by a mad doctor. And together, they both agree to shed the conventions of civilization. They both agree to turn the clock back. They leave their phones in the boat. There's no electricity on the island. And it is truly a trip back into the past. You promised this wouldn't sound romantic.

A time when there was no electricity, no electronics. Less. Less. Literally. The story of less. That's right. Together, they agree to hunt the most dangerous game, each other, until one achieves supremacy. That's right.

Welcome to the island of Dr. No-O. That's right. Once a year. Once a year. Mark Stoops and Kirby Smart Go to this weird island where they both agree Let's get freaky baby Let's just loincloths and kickers

That's how we're doing this How long did you work on this? Like 30 seconds 30 seconds Yeah okay thank you Thank you The mind had a lot of time to roam during this game I just we got everything

Whatever it was that was LSU South Carolina today And this is what you want to drop on our plate to start the evening. I know there's a recency bias thing going on. The comments are great because it's just a stream of lesses and booze and then one person in the middle going,

more! That's right. You're a real one. There was a call for it to become more homoerotic. I could do that, but I think we'd have to swap out one or more of the central. There's somebody for everybody, but we'd have to swap out one or more

the central characters here, I think. Yeah. Or add another. Yeah. Anybody want to talk about that punt? A field goal is three, so, hmm. And we got a lot of three tonight, didn't we, folks? Three, three, three, three. So the punt.

Yeah. When it came to the punt, it seemed the entire college football internet smashed. Do not agree. I am reluctantly on the, it wouldn't have mattered side. So let's lay out the situation here. Kentucky is trailing by one to number one Georgia at home. very late in the game they're in this weird no man's land

um it's close what they're wearing fourth and eight yeah and it would have been like a 65 yard field goal so that's not an option which their their field goal kickers set the school record earlier in this game with a 55 yarder so I think being like

go ahead just go kick a one 10 yard longer than that run it up miss it and give you know put Georgia like within almost within their own field goal distance in case they won a little patting. So it's a weird spot. And it's fourth and eight.

And they only had like seven plays all night that went for more than 10 yards, I think. I looked at the box score a few minutes ago. I'm not looking it right now. They had some rushing. They had some rushing plays that. Yeah, yeah, yeah. So like if they were to go for a fourth a day, they probably would have ran the ball, right? Yeah.

But like there was no good choice here. There was no good option. Yeah. They can't throw. Okay. So, Jason, I wanted to ask this, though. You talk about, okay, you're not necessarily against that punt. What I would question is this.

You said they didn't have a play of like, you know, they had like a couple of plays over 10 yards the entire night. Brock Vandergriff finished with something like 114 yards passing. The play calling leading up to that when you are already in plus territory, you are in Georgia territory, you call two passes in a row. you dare to go on play action on second down and then you're facing third and eight and you pass again when conceivably you could have gone for it on fourth anticipating that maybe you weren't going to see the ball again but instead they went past past punt on second and third that's the part where i go

do you know who you are do you know what you're doing do you know how well you're running against georgia right because like something that people may forget in this game if they are not a georgia fan who like all people who follow successful football teams are looking for the crack in the mirror they're looking for that little wrinkle in the foundation they're looking for the one thing that might go wrong with the dynasty tonight kentucky ran for 170 yards they were really good on the ground against georgia generally speaking yeah so the problems came on second and third down right the the problem was getting into a fourth and eight because and you know maybe like this this does that tie in this ties into situational awareness

because you can't end up at fourth and eight at midfield when you can't throw right um by that logic you want to get it to you know get it down to fourth and three or something um but the punt itself you know everyone just looked up and was horrified by the punt itself and to that point i you know if i'm a georgia fan i would be like oh god yeah give us the ball with the lead great you know if i'm a georgia fan i love their decision to punt but i tried to think about this if i if i if this happened to me in the video game, if I found myself in this exact spot, what I would have called. And I don't know if I would have punt it, but that's with video game stakes.

So I don't know. I think they just sort of hit randomized, and whatever choice came out was the choice that came out. Yeah, I mean, like, the way they settled for a field goal, they had nine seconds left at the end of the first half. They're at the Georgia 14, and they're just like, now. fuck it just kick a field goal first it was first and 10 didn't even try to score a touchdown there and i get like i i don't know like the whole i the whole game seemed based on the plan is we'll make all our field goals and our defense will play the greatest game it's ever played

possible and it came it came reasonably close yeah but it's also like i i guess it's like if that's the plan you kind of have to stick you've stuck with it that long you're you've made so many decisions that are based on that logic that it's like, well, what, it's too late to pull the lasagna out of the oven and say like, no, no, no, I want to have sausage. Wait, stop it. We're going to, we're going to, listen, we got here with fat, dumb football. We're just going to, we want to lose by one point. That's what it feels like. It feels like now, and I will say this, I'm criticizing them over those second and third down pass calls. But a part of that is going,

fat dumb football. Yes. Flying headkick. Yes. If you're the fat dumb football team, especially because they weren't, they weren't just like, it wasn't just like, wow, what creative run design. Like there was, they called a good offense on the ground, but they were also like making holes. They had room. They were like getting room to run in a way that I haven't seen a team run against George in a long, long time. effectively and consistently and on crucial plays decided to abandon that to exactly what Georgia would want to see which is oh hey look a pass something we're more than happy to both beat up the

quarterback and bat out of the air I will say also this in addition to me failing to guess that Lincoln Riley's defense would magically improve. I'm going to add this to my tally of times that I refused to be fooled, and by that route ended up fooled, because I did not believe in Kentucky and all in this game, and they covered by like 20 points and almost won. So that's on me. However, I will reiterate once again that I told you,

I told you all back in the summer that Mike Norville is on the fucking hot seat. so call me 500 which is better than Mike Norvell here is what I would say is the perverse case for going for it if you turn the ball over on downs and I feel I feel fairly confident that would have been the results or if you miss a crazy long field goal which would have been at least they think the more fun way to be like fuck it this is how we win like you you almost you have a little more option you have a little bit more of options because you can just say like well we're just going to let georgia score or or we know georgia doesn't have that much field to work with so they can't like just march down the field and completely wear the clock out on us like yeah they eventually held them to a punt but to what end at that point

it's like it would have been just as useful to hold them held them to a field goal or just i don't know like giving georgia that much space actually seemed worse in some way yeah you give kirby smart that that big of a canvas he's gonna he's gonna paint he's gonna paint it with you he's gonna paint your doom is what he's gonna paint on it i mean i mean you kentucky held georgia to 262 yards of offense

and one touchdown and they fucking lost yep yeah but you know what i do feel better about in this okay i do feel better about maybe down the road somebody being able to take advantage of that. Like at that point, you go,

no, no, no. Okay. But we see this once a year. Yes, yes. Missouri does this once a year. Yes, yes. Sometimes it's South Carolina that does this. It's never old miss. It's never old miss. We're going to talk. Yeah, we're going to, it's not a never old miss. Right. No. No. I have a feeling you know that when Arkansas, maybe, nah, I'm probably making that up. You know, a, uh, and Batman forever when Tommy Lee Jones. Jesus Christ. When Tommy Lee Jones. When Tommy Lee, Jones was on the set and Jim Carrey

appeared and Tommy Lee Jones was like I cannot sanction your foolishness that's Kirby Smart every time he sees Lane Giffin he's like I I'll have nothing to do with you we're up 30 to nothing at half right right yeah right you've texted me too many photos of your testicles

exactly I have I do not even inhabit the same civilization nor share the same values as you you buffoon I've never even looked at my testicles yeah fellas that's okay

yeah i don't i don't i don't i think somebody will be able to take advantage of this call me foolish i don't know by the way tonight's events the events of today actually may have had a big impact on the october 19th matchup between georgia and texas which is the next time you know when plausibly georgia might face a loss because texas has a new quarterback most likely given the condition of Quinn Ewer's injured hand. Arch Manning. Arch Manning is now a thing.

Arch Wheels Manning. Arch the Flash Manning. Archibald just blazing down the field. This is Cooper's Child. So this is slightly different Manning's stock than the ones we are most used to

recently see it. As in, I think he might bend other than at the waist. Are you breaking news? because I have not seen anything about Quinn Ewer's hurting his hand. Rib. I'm sorry, Rib. Rib is part of hand. They're all connected, man.

Can't we all be brothers? I was taught arm, leg, leg, arm hand. Rib is armed. I'm just going by fallout rules. If I shot you in the abdomen, yeah, it wouldn't count his hand. That's all. I wouldn't.

17%. I wouldn't disarm, I wouldn't disarm Quinn Ewers if I injured his abdomen. That one 67-yard scoot by Archibald, I wish I had the tweet in front of me. It was more than almost every season worth of rushing in the entire careers of his famous uncles. This is truly for the Manning family. Not quite uncharted because his daddy had wheels long, long ago. But still a fresh experience.

Yeah, Archie Manning, by the way, really was able. actually in the 69 Alabama Old Miss game he put up 540 total yards of offense by himself including over a hundred yards rushing so like before the saints ate his cartilage right before the before 1970s NFL astroturf destroyed his body he could move so when I say dad I made that in the hat hand ribs sense yeah and ribs yeah that's right jason is sure family trees as I am to anatomy eventually it's all connected it's all there it's all eventually there's all there can can we talk about the ls u sss south carolina game would love to hi can i just i want to ask this in general because i think complaining about the officiating is for bums but um i did want to ask this

i think south carolina got screwed they got jacked in in what i need a little bit more specificity. I think the call on the block during the pick six return from the end zone. Where I think it was Canard hit Nespire?

Yes. Kind of cheap shot at him. Well, all right, how's this? That kind of cheap shot on a pick six return happens every single time there is an interception return. Okay, sure.

three single time. That's the one where I go, I could see you have it a beef. Complaining about the officiating is for losers. And also Southern Carolina fans today, maybe justifiably. It was, but there was so much officiating in this game. Like, there were so many,

and I don't even think all of it was necessarily wrong. It was just like, God damn, the referees had so much to do all of the time. I could not deal. There was too much football happened in in South Carolina, LSU. Too many things, too much variety. Like, it was, it felt, it felt like I just over. Their cheesecake factoring it.

Yes. When they were a perfectly good trotteria. Yes. And I just, I ate all of it, and I felt terrible. Yeah, there was a lot. I mean, can we say the night? things first there's a lot of nice things to say about this guy yeah sure Garrett Nussmeyer got the shit knocked out of him yeah and and sprang back up like a weble

yeah and he and he made some yeah I was okay good you say it because I don't want to what were you gonna say he made some nice throws he did make some nice he made some incredibly dumb ass throws too with a heavy heart yeah but he yes he made some nice throws that were extremely well placed and South Carolina was in his yours. Yes. Yes. Their defensive line

was nightmarish a lot of this game. Uh-huh. Their tackling outside of the defensive line was wildly erratic for a lot of this game. I mean, South Carolina really is like

they are a one-moved team. Yeah. They are very much like, you know, ha-ha, get you to the ground and choke you. But if the defensive line doesn't manage to, uh, get you down and take you to the mat then you have some room to function you really do but that defensive line who holy shit that is if you're only going to have one move as a football team that's a

really good one also lenora sellers uh went out with an injury and after that the complexion of the offense did change somewhat not in terms of what they wanted to do because that's still pretty much just an exaggerated high school offense right like get the big guy let him run hand it off maybe fake not running with the big guy and give it to the running back occasionally Long play action passed. Yeah, that's... It was not a performance that gave you a lot of confidence and, like, oh, LSU's figured this out on defense.

No. No. Yeah. It was not a performance that gave you a lot of, like, Ellis used figured this out on anything, frankly. It is a performance that continues the thread that we picked up in an earlier show of wondering what exactly are Brian Kelly's veins made of, and can we harvest them for heart patients?

Because those things don't blow. No. He's very powerful, stunningly powerful. He is. Also, I would ask, what are y'all doing? Because I don't, sometimes you see somebody say something and it. That man is Puse. He is.

He went full smuggles today. He's at like resting Puse. Man, I had so many good smuckles puns dialed up. I do kind of wonder if like South Carolina's role this year is just going to be to put every team they play into like the weird vortex where you go into it. You're like, oh, no, I'm playing my moment. worst possible because I don't they fucking dominated Kentucky the same Kentucky that went out and almost beat Georgia they took an LSU team that you know lost lost to USC but didn't look like shambolic do it wasn't like oh boy what a mess they are and and completely put them in the

spin cycle in a ton of ways like maybe this is just the South Carolina's going to do this here is just like our whole thing is we we cause poison psychic damage to you and you just have to wander the fog that is playing the gamecocks and hope that you can emerge alive. Yeah, and most video games, the poison character doesn't put up, like, big numbers on their own. They're just a total pain to deal with them. Yes, yes. They're just like, ha, farts. Yeah, also, in case you think things are fundamentally fixed for LSU in any way, they're not.

They allow 243 yards rushing on the ground. Tie in the comments, is it true that Florida called a board of regents meeting for tomorrow? are you making a funny joke no no that's from nick deletory that is i was going to bring that up later but let's talk about it now uh hey guess guess what gator's christmas i'm sorry i'm sorry i saw it flinging through the timeline and i before before we get into this i want to make one thing very clear i have not watched a single snap of this game instead i took ryan you're sick we don't want to expose you to that shit i took my two-year-old to the art museum because i didn't want to watch florida no you miss nothing just typically like Can I, hey, can I blind guess a few things? Sure. Florida couldn't stop the run. Correct.

Florida couldn't run the ball. Correct. Florida was terrible on third down defense. Awful. Florida turned the ball over in mind-bending ways. Yeah, a couple tips, yeah. This is not an easy guess, Spencer. Would you like to talk about whatever the hell was going on with that quarterback rotation?

No, I can't because it doesn't make sense to man, AI, B. computer or god i still am in the default position even when it's this florida team of like well there's a plan here and okay because i i really thought i'm not fucking with you i thought i had to be missing something nope this is uh yeah this is a good man who's not a good football coach Brian would you like to guess what the halftime score was oh um i'll just i'm not going to guess a number I'm going to guess that A&M was up by 17. Oh, you're so close. 20 to nothing.

I should have gone on my national guess. Yeah, you almost had it. So the game felt extremely over. So, yeah, if we start firing everyone tomorrow, that would be great starting with the athletic director and then with the football coach, because that's going to happen. And it's going to make everyone feel better for about three minutes.

And I'll take those three minutes because it's better than I've felt about this team all year long. Is it too late for, or is it too early in the process for me to ask kind of an orbital question? I know that just for example, Mac Brown and Justin Fuente conspired within the past few years to put us out of the coach predicting business forever. But I, Florida is, and maybe I'm over indexing on this because they're, you know, up until this year they were a division rival. And I watched Florida very closely as a result. And we lose to them no matter what, what head do they need to be looking for in the next guy that they haven't gotten? Like, what's it going to take?

Is your question, what does the next person have to do that? How are you wasting the geography, the resources, the talent? Like, there's so much there. Why hasn't anybody been able to do anything? Okay. So here's, here's, I'll throw a theory. And there's not one answer for all these guys. Like, what are you looking for, I'm trying to spend this into a positive, like, what are you looking for in the next guy that you haven't seen in even just this hire or the past few hires?

So I think, I think your question is the problem, and I'm not saying you, Holly, are the problem. Let's go, let's say the must champ, I think the must champ hire was probably fine. I think it was everything that went with the must champ hire that was not. I think, like, telling Will must champ, we're going to hire you, but you can't pick your own offensive coordinator. and oh look you're going to have like three over the course of your brief tenure was was like it may like either give them the keys or don't and i'm not saying there should be i'm not saying there's a blanket answer to what was wrong with these guys but it's fucking weird that this many guys seemed like home runs and then just have not been so here is what i think here's what i think

has happened um well must champ doesn't work out and they say okay we got to go we got to go get somebody who can run an offense so they go get macklewain macklewain doesn't work out in part because i think they're just sort of like boy this guy really doesn't want to be here he doesn't seem that into it let's go get dan mullen dan mullen really wants to be here that doesn't work out why didn't that work oh well dan mullen wasn't recruiting we got to get somebody who can just recruit the hell out of everybody are you saying they're saying they're chasing a laser pointer yes yes and let's go get let's go get a kick-ass recruiter just got one Granted, everything about recruiting changed almost immediately after they hired him and his 600 assistants in polo shirts.

Yes. So I think the answer is they are constantly trying to fix what was wrong with the last coach. But this means the next hire will have like one analyst. That's fine. That analyst is Charlie Weiss Jr. That's fine. That person will be called the Oracle. Yeah.

And like, look, a lot of. schools do this do we can turn our if we could turn our plate calling over to a faceless orb i would love that be soothing a lot of schools do this they they sort of say like oh we need a we need a we need a we need a real like our kind of school guy we need a veteran we need a defense first guy we need somebody who will win the win the press conference blah blah you know yeah yeah yeah yeah i that's i think that's a great answer ryan there are two things i would or three things i would add on to that One, our NIL structure is still not exactly what it should be. Correct.

And that has something to do with the athletic director's thoughts on this, which is why he needs to be pitched out of the nearest window. Metaphorically speaking, not actionable threat. That would be the funniest thing that the Regents could do for the record. Get together and just fire the AD. Is fire Strickland. Yes. I think everybody knows that has to happen in one order or another.

I don't know if it's going to be. Who is the university? fire him or does I don't. I think the university does. Is there somebody working there right now who has the authority? Yeah, yeah. You've got interim president. Interim and former president.

And former president, confuques is the person who would be doing that. Somebody who takes a keen interest in football even as an interim, I would imagine because he was pretty active in that as president. So he would be the one I think that that would go through after the

board meets tomorrow without getting too far at the weeds. So AD's got to go too. I think that another factor in all of this is that they just don't hire the best. Like you have to hire somebody who is a standard deviation better than his peers at the job. That's not always true at some programs. Like at Ohio State and in Alabama, you can get a guy who I think it's like, you know, like a 90 percentile, 85th percentile coach. And if they work real hard, they can probably, you know, vacillate somewhere between eight and ten wins.

They can do that a lot. with the occasional down year. And I also agree at this point, and we've talked to this before, that hiring a coach is basically a crapshoot. Yeah. But do you know what I don't want to take any chances on? Prize picks.

That's right. That's the third thing I was going to say. Sorry, everybody, hang on. That's right. We're careening. We're careening. I think the third thing that Florida needs is they need to know that prize picks. Well, no, no, nope.

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When you play $5, you don't even need to win to receive the $50 bonus. guaranteed prize picks run your game let us purge the foul taste of serious florida discussion hey holly do you know which team has been best against the spread uh so far this year is it mine it sure is they are they already were and then they beat the 50 point spread by 21 fucking points i saw that this spread was 49 tonight and i'm like oh finally somebody's catching up because we're supposed to be NC State by eight anyway there's not much to say about tonight's game

except okay I have like can I say like five things about tonight's game but they're fast go go okay I saw a shit ton of people yelling about Tennessee being classless for going on for an onside kick up 30 and first of all we don't use that word second of all I love a classless football team

we all do but third of all um tessie's experimentation period for football and that's kind of what they're doing right now with a whole bunch of pieces they're replacing ends tonight they don't get a chance to experiment after tonight like they don't have a deep threat to replace jailel well we'll see but they they don't have like the deep threat has not fully emerged you can't just replace jalen hyatt with another player blah blah anyway i think this staff was uh given that they had pulled nico like in the second quarter and pulled most everybody else fairly early on in the proceedings like the there were true freshmen scoring by the end of this listen they it could have been a lot worse is on saying second thing one of my favorite stats that i've seen all year and this was super super weird because this is like some shit that used to happen to tennessee so it's weird watching it happen to somebody else kent state had four third downs in the first quarter and three of them the snap went over the quarterback's head just on third down it happened three times in a quarter yikes god is pissed what did y'all do also i will

say this also kent state turned down a running clock i love that you're in you're in here with me i fucking do you know where kent state has to play next week yes i do this i learned this from the farmer jones yikes this is a horrific back to back why did y'all book oh well you're Okay, they probably booked this one, and nobody knew we were going to be good. There's probably also, they're probably also like, wait, we're going to make three million dollars to or something. Mind you, they've already lost to a mid-tier FCS team. Yes, yes. Ken State went to Tennessee this week is going to Penn State next week.

I don't think you can find a harder non-conference back-to-back. I do not love this. It sucks. I am, stop me if you heard this before. I'm uneasy going into next week's Tennessee. game because after the past few weeks and after NC State, which is supposed to be the strongest of those opponents, having trouble with Louisiana Tech tonight. I'm not sure, like, this team, this team has handily dispatched its opponents. Is it weird if I say I'm not real sure how good

this team is? I think you should. I'm not saying, I'm not saying they're bad. I'm just like, I'm not sure where to put the needle on this team. This is like, to this point, undoubtedly a very clear top 10 team. Just based on they have handled weak teams the way an elite team should. They've handled an average team the way an elite team should. And just as you're just, I know that we say this about, all you do is be the, all you can play is your schedule, right? But I'm like, I have no fucking clue what to.

And mainly because, and next week's, next week's opponents have not been helping. What the hell am I supposed to expect from Oklahoma after tonight? What was that? Well, and it's a road game as well. so yeah hate it i think this is where it's a good reminder that like one thing i think nfl brain gets right is that what a single week doesn't tell you a ton about a team and even two weeks don't tell you a ton about a team like if you if you win if you go two and o in the nfl to start the year but you look kind of shitty like yeah you'll get some comments or whatever but it's

not like oh man wheels are totally going to fall off and here like or Oregon, we were all like, oh, Oregon, total garbage. And then they just dropped a, they dropped a building on Oregon State. Thank you, commenter W.C. Corps for pointing out. It's been a minute since the last Tennessee, Oklahoma, home and home series. And if you've never, listen, if you, didn't we mash this up at one point and have at one point we did, but like, it is, it is just a dueling bio weapon battle between Rocky Top and Boomer sooner over. and over and over again.

And I think Boomer Sooner has the edge here because it's just the one phrase over and over again. Like, Rocky Top has verses shit. You can get lost in Boomer sooner. You can feel much more disoriented in time and space. I think it's a better, I think it's better, more potent as a bioweb. I'm not poor-mouting them.

Gordon, shut the fuck up. How are you supposed to get an accurate read? How are you supposed to get an accurate read on a team that has played this schedule? And its strongest opponent struggled with Louisiana Anna Tech. The counterpoint is that I can't. I'm not poor mouthing.

I'm superstitious. We didn't get here by not being superstitious. But I can't remember the last time in Tennessee, like, when is the last time Tennessee had a season where they came out of the gates just looking awesome and then that film? Yeah. This is not. Well, because usually, oh, that's the other thing. Usually in the front of the schedule, we have a super, we have a super serious opener.

You know, we had all those years. We played Oklahoma home and home. We had three pack 12 home and homes in a row for six seasons. We usually have Florida by now. Yeah, that's the weird part. Yeah, but you should, I think, I think you would feel better if you had spent today destroying Florida. Right. My argument, which I don't know, my argument is not.

And I only say that about Florida because if you know anything about the Tennessee Florida series, it's whether or not Tennessee loses the game has absolutely nothing to do with how good Florida is. This year will be the judge of that. Yeah. Yeah, can I... Let me make myself very, very clear. My argument is not you're saying Tennessee is good and I'm saying you're wrong. My argument is you're saying, and I'm using a royal you.

My argument is anyone saying, I know how good this team is and I'm saying, no, you don't. Yeah, I'd say that goes for every team though, but it's like based on realistic. Because it's happening to me. Yeah, well, that's the thing about being a specific entity within consciousness. This is my reality. Can I tell you who I know is a good? team and who defended the honor of the of the six pack

a.k.a. the pack six. You're goddamn right. Yes. Can we make this entire, can we make this entire show as it's too late now out of Memphis Pullman and Toledo? Yes. That's how you know this was an important week. The polls the college football mainstays of Pullman, Memphis and Toledo

are holding it. I am not going to let UNLV be left out of this. Absolutely not. The SEC, can I say one comforting thing to Georgia is that if anybody is just glancing at the film or glancing up at the airport television, you know, tomorrow

Monday, don't worry, they're going to think you struggled against Memphis like a normal team because Kentucky, what the fuck were you wearing? We should also, because it was a ranked on ranked game, Missouri beat Boston College. There. Yeah? We are there.

Missouri beat Boston College and the Boston Dynamics Robot failed to redacted Eli Drinkwoods. Man, Eli was wearing something real. Did you guys see Eli pregame?

Eli was wearing what was that jacket? Eli was wearing the coat that you wore to model UN because you had to wear your dad's jacket. He was wearing that. But like he clearly was wearing like fashion forward trousers. And then this like swimming in a jacket. I sort of think he's always doing

a bit. Yeah. He's the most live golfer football coach that there is. Yeah. By the way did you see the fairway, the thin coverage on the fairway on the head? He has the most powerful comb over. I've seen a coaching in a while. It's not like a Gene Keady.

Hey, that's Florida's next coach you're talking about. You better be nice. You fucking wish. That's Florida's next athletic director you're talking about. Chaps is who did Memphis beat? Chaffes, we'll get to that. So, Washington State. Washington State. Our other beautiful

SEC. Coming into the day with Washington leaving them behind in the pack two to six, this game's only available. on Peacock.com. Yeah. And they're in the great city of Seattle. 2419 in the final seconds, and Washington has the ball,

unlike the, I don't know, the whatever. And what play do they call? They run a speed option to the short side of the field. The short side of the field with a quarterback who, as Roger Sherman pointed out, has run for about negative 300 yards in his career. But yeah. When you got Will Rogers back there,

you got to take advantage of the wheels, Jason. The absolute last play. you would call in again a video game is the play that they break out and like on the broadcast you can see that they just stack blockers on that side of the field so wazus is okay we'll pile some guys over there too so they just they just ran the slowest guy onto the field into the into a mob with the you know with the rivalry on the line raise your hand if you found out tonight that will rogers was still in college ball uh my hands raised huh 100% raised um additionally you know what that means That's another season of Will Rogers jokes from me.

I didn't even put that together until just now. I was just like, it's just a name. You know a man who I met tonight who I did like? John Mateer. That is right. The quarterback for the Washington State. They got a real Cobra Cuy. John Meteer.

First of all, Cobra Cive like eye black. Everyone in Wazoo should look like this when they're playing. Yeah. What's his completion percentage? A perfect 50%. Did he throw a pick? Hell, yes, he did.

Does he scramble around like a lunatic looking for a single scene? that he can exploit, which he did for two TDs tonight. That's right. John Mateer absolutely does all of that in the sweetest candy apple red helmets you've ever fucking seen. Those were some really, I don't know if those were new for Wazoo,

but those lids were very, very pretty. Yeah, John Meteer continues the Wazoo recent tradition of barnstorming quarterback. Just a shambling and a rambling. All around the field. I love him. He's so cool to watch. The deviling next for the head coach Jed Fish.

I like when, I like when Wazoo has a quarterback who's like, he's a cowboy who had to leave his family and change his name. Now he's our quarterback. He's 37 years old. When Wazoo talks about intangible, they're talking about a different set of intangibles than most other schools. Gardner Minchu. I saw him ride in east last I saw him. Intangible, as in the government can't lay a hand on him. He burned his fingerprints off so they can't track him.

That's why he throws a pick or two. Last I heard, he was living in a van outside the gym. Jake Dickard after the game saying, yeah, this trophy's ours. We're making a new one for next year. So this was just randomly out of nowhere a little bit of a rivalry weekend. We've mentioned Apple Cup and Oregon, Oregon State.

Also, it started to pour down rain during the Apple Cup, even though it was being played during the daytime and in September. The sky knows. And we appreciate that. God knew you were trying to sneak an Apple Cup by. Great description of Johnny, by the way, from

sovereign quarterback John Mateer is definitely a sovereign quarterback where's the ball going none of your business professional person weighing in with their full name and job title on LinkedIn

wait this is on Twitch yeah but only the brave participate on LinkedIn Twitch home of the coward that's right I wanted to discuss another team

today that I thought was incredible. Is it Memphis time? I was not going to go from Memphis. I was going to go ahead and salute our new overlords from the Mac. Oh, my beloved Rockets? Yes, that's correct. What's up? No.

My playoff pick, Rockets? You're the only one whose playoff picks even look remotely salient at this point. We haven't looked at those in a minute. Oh, oh. Who wants to go back and find our playoffs? No, it's fine. Keep going. No?

Okay. No. I'm pretty sure you had NC State. I did. I have Oklahoma State. I'm sitting pretty. Everything's fine. 4117.

That is the final score of a Mac V.S.E.C. game, not involving Vanderbilt, who we can also discuss later at an eventful evening. This was in Toledo. No, this was in Starkville. Toledo went into Starkville and whooped up on the overmatched year one. Jeff Levy, Mississippi State Bulldogs 41. Wouldn't be wild if Jeff Levy got run out of Starkville for reasons that had nothing to do with his father-in-law? It'd be

astonishing, but this would be well on the way to doing that because damn, yeah, got smashed. If you go, oh, maybe there was like a crazy number of turn up. Nope, Nope, Toledo had one, Mississippi State had two. Maybe this was just a fluke. Nope, they dominated them.

Lines of scrimmage. Topped them in every major statistical category. This was just a clean ass weapon. people know Toledo was good, but man, they are, they are good enough to do this, which honestly impressive. Like, you could, like, you should talk Mississippi State all you want. That's fine. They've obviously got severe problems, but congratulations for the Rockets.

This is, this is outstanding work. Yeah, when you're, when you're going up against their SEC defense. That's right. You're not, you're not supposed to be able to, to throw for 285 and run for 169. Like, that's a lot of yards. I forgot about that. Yeah. I would like to state briefly that I think the weirdest thing that happened today was Indiana playing in daytime while it was nighttime for us.

That felt weird and wrong, and I didn't like it. Time warp Indiana. Did they kick the shit out of UCLA and the Rose Bowl? I was going to say, you know who did like it, Ryan? Indiana liked it just fine. They won the Indiana won the Rose Bowl today. exciting hey that's what happened when you win that game yeah very big

very big win for future for future florida coach kurt signetti so i mean this is the only well let's see one of one of only a handful of big ten pack twelve games in the rose bowl this year Penn State's going to win the rose bowl Rutgers might win the rose bowl Nebraska's going to win the rose bowl but Indiana won the rose bowl first

oh no wait I looked at it wrong Iowa was going to have the granddaddy of all the wins speaking of just very brief Nebraska won today, easily, not that important. They're 3 and 0 for the first time since 2016. I thought it you were going to say an older number, so. That is also, to help frame it, that's the same year that they most recently made a bowl game.

I think they're going to make a bowl game. I think they're going to make a bowl game. I think deciding to get a really good quarterback has paid off. Now, now, speaking of quarterback, I don't know where you're going with this. Everything is wrong with Florida State. Oh, okay. It's time.

Oh, God, yes. Like, if you take away DJ Ulangalele's numbers on the ground, which includes Sacks, obviously. Does it help? Does it help Florida State's overall case if you take his numbers away? Not much. FSU against Memphis ran for 53 yards on 15 carries, which presents two problems. One, I think there's a 24-yard run-in. there so it's largely tilting from one big run and two that means that they had a pass run

ratio of something like probably in the range of like 35 40 pass attempts 31 to 21 to 24 yes yes but adjust it's not exactly yes so it's probably closer to like 40 to 15 right and they just look on defense the defensive line looked a little better and looked like just generally a little meaner and a little bit more pissed off. Frank, can you speak a little more slowly so that Danny Cannell can record this one of the movies? Like, it's, they are so broken in so many ways. They had a incredibly dumb fumbled punt that led to Memphis points.

They made a big defensive stand, got the ball back, and just got sacked like three times. like I don't Florida is obviously very bad we don't have to go back to that it is it is shocking that Florida State has now had they've played they've played two games against quality

FBS opponents and had a buy week playing at home against the team that like Mike Norvel should certainly want to beat and they come out and do this like it is it is it is it is hard to see the path forward where this gets worked out at all not this year yeah it's hard it it's hard to matter less than that offense does right now

the defense the defense is pretty shitty too though yeah no they're they're they're shitty but but man they're gonna stay shitty because 11 first ounce on the day 11 it's it's a real compound it like they're they're making each other worse in some way i mean the defense today like fs u's defense today was fine like you should be able to score more than 20 points against memphis no offense to memphis memphis is a good team but if you're fSU um like so like holding holding memphis to that with how little the offense was helping the defense i think it's fine i mean the offense is just painful to watch three turnovers too three they can't block like they can't catch that i don't know They dropped, I lost count of how many.

Like, it's not all on DJ. They also went, they also went for a two-point conversion. I totally, I still don't understand. They were down 20 to 3. They scored, they scored their only touchdown of the game, like, midway through the third quarter. So it's 20 to 9, and they went for two for some reason. That's what the card implies. I have no idea what was happening here.

but like i i we'll see then then you're within three field goals i think the fact that this was 20 points and not more was really just once once memphis got got to a certain point in this game i think they were just like they don't have it as long as long as we kill enough clock they're not going to beat us it the fSU offense does not feel like a threat it's it no i think if if that was memphis is thinking then they had the same thinking as the viewer at home because it was in the first quarter, this thing just felt like, oh, wow, the Knowles just might not score. This is the kind of brilliant critical thinking you can only get from a coach

who has been condemned by Alex Kirchner to the dustbin of history prematurely, not once, not twice, but at least on three occasions at this point. Another one of those is Pat Narduzzi, who... Oh, my God. I don't want to talk about it. No, we got it. You know we got it. What a

Thriller. 38 points. I will, listen, I got to take, I have to take psychic responsibility for this one because they pulled up. And I said, here comes that vaunted Pat Narduzi two-minute offense. And then Pitt scored.

And then Pitt pulled out the wanted Patnors do. Pit scored two touchdowns in like four minutes. Don't tell me superstition is bullshit. Let me tell you, this is a wild-ass game. It's a wild-ass game. I've seen things. Yeah, Garrett Green was all over the place.

He threw two T-Ds. He also threw two picks. West Virginia out rushed pit, which is typically what you do when you win a game. But O'Contraea, this is the backyard brawl. Numbers mean nothing, especially when you've got Big Cow, Eli Holstein.

That's right on the other side. He's good. Pat Narduzzi, famous for offensive. offensive comeback, says Josh F. Yeah, this West Virginia team is special. What can I tell you? So last week, Pitt came back from 21 down with about 16 minutes to go. This week, down 10 with four minutes to go. This is Pitt football. Most thrilling ride in the country. He'll be great at Florida. I agree. The most alarming thing about the two touchdown drives Pitt scored on to eventually take the lead and win the game. If the play-by-play is correct,

they only they never face a third down not once they only got to second down including second and 30 when they throw a 40 yard touchdown pass so to cut it to three points

that's that's a problem that's my expert advice that's not good don't do that and yet and yet and yet okay at the end of this game after having gutted out a last minute win against a rival in really

the only rivalry game that matters for Pitt. Who did Nardusti decide to tangle with? Not just declaring his faith and the resilience of his team, but also commending them on overcoming the officials. That's right.

It should have been even worse. That's some fucking nerve. That is a real dick move when you win, isn't it? They had all that help, and we still beat them. It's a real dick move given there were, there were

bad calls in multiple directions. It's not a good day for it. It's only an arch rivalry in which I can I guess condone this kind of behavior. I think this is fine. Oh, absolutely. This should not have been as close

as it was and that's why it hurts so bad. Sweety, enraged. After you beat the team you hate the most, you're allowed to lie. Yeah. But sweaty, enraged that is to you. score 38 points

unclean you get one lie you get one lie can we can we yell about some big numbers real quick here yeah so Tennessee scored 71 points today Texas how much of that was in the first half that was they scored

I think they got up to 71 with 14 minutes left and 65 65 of those points were in the first half Texas Tech put up 66 66 points on north Texas Notre Dame beat Purdue 667 in what the lower the lower the lower bar said was the worst loss in Purdue history what that's a contest I don't know like I can't be right there have to be worse ones than

I'm not saying that's true or not I'm just saying that's what I believe that I read they They did so by running for 362 yards and six touchdowns. Oh, God. They absolutely beat their ass. It was, oh, it was, man. Purdue, Purdue, you should definitely get a fruit basket or something from Northern Illinois because they did this to you. In the last two minutes and 10 seconds of the first half, if you want to know what a nut punch, this game was for Purdue, who could not have had high expectations going in.

That would be a pick six. Notre Dame scored a touchdown. Then there was a pick six. And then Notre Dame scored another touchdown on a single run by Jedarian Price for 70 yards. Two minutes, 10 seconds, 21 points. All right. Well, here's from the Annapolis star, Indianapolis star. Nobody in the 137 year of history of Purdue football has beaten the

Boilermakers as bad as Notre Dame did Saturday. Yeah. I'm guessing there's been a lot of near misses. There is some of that. There is some of that. Good for Notre Dame. You had feelings that you had to eat. You opened up the freezer and there it was.

A big old thing of Purdue Ripple Crunch. I'm going to eat this giant ice cream drum. It's delicious. It's not that job. The ice cream's like, I have no defense. I didn't say the biggest ice cream dump, but I just said a big ice cream drum. It's a normal size drum. Miami beat ball state 620, so that's just something Florida and Florida State fans have to live with as well.

And South Alabama, king of the week, scored 87 points against Western State. There's no need for that. You don't have to do all that. That's the one I feel bad about. Listen, that one is, that one is, on the one hand, it's like, yeah, but like, South Alabama probably is allowed to do that. Other teams on this list, that would just be a dick move. South Alabama, probably it's fine. You're not driving all the way down there to stop. Northwestern State, by the way, they had like, they've had like the worst two years.

Oh, it's been, yeah, it's been heinous. It's really bad. Yeah. Yeah. So maybe, I don't know, pull up at 70. No, no. No. Sorry.

Running our offense. Today. Thank you, Larissa. Boilermaker Sherbert. today had a lot of interesting stuff but I think two of the most interesting games happened for me on Friday

one football-ass football team Kansas State beat the hide off of Arizona 317 by just doing football-ass shit man their linebackers are mean dude mean people

they're mean dudes yeah active malicious can it's more than capable it feels like of beating every team on their schedule like this where you go I don't know these numbers don't look very gaudy but there's a lot of blood on this turf

there's a lot of blood they ran for over 200 yards they were tidy in the passing game and yes their defense brings hammers and they enjoy using them even Tetaroa McMillan the outstanding receiver for Arizona he had a bunch of yards

none of them for TDs perfect game plan perfect execution or like a fantastic way to approach the problem and solve it optimally. Additionally, Ryan, let's pay off the respect we were promising here. UNLV, maybe like their biggest, like, I mean this, like biggest win in modern program history in terms of getting them to 3 and O? Yeah, and a lot of it had to do with how they won, in my opinion, because, you know, this incarnation of UNLV is very much like, oh, they have this innovative offense and they can, like, beat you in a shootout and this, that, and the other.

But they had to win this game with defense in the second half. Kansas, I think, only scored three points in the second half. They ran five plays after halftime that were from their own 40 or beyond. They were just, like, they started the game super hot. I think they scored touchdowns in their first three possessions. and then you and LV just put the clamps on them. It was, it was like, and that's the interesting thing to me is like, oh, okay, you can win a game that way too. That shows me that that's a really interesting leap.

And again, congratulations to future Florida head coach, Barry Odom. Big win for him, absolutely. Apologies to future Florida head coach Lance Leopold. Yes, 3 and 0 for the first time in 40 years. I love it. Yeah, Big Bear doing work out in Las Vegas. I like that we've gotten to a point where, like, two straight weeks, somebody beats Kansas, and it's like, wow, what a great win.

Isn't it weird that we're at the point where it's like, man, it stinks that Kansas is blowing these opportunities. Kansas one and two, what a rough start. Yeah, yeah. It's, I mean, it's a good testament to what they've done. Like we said Kansas made us proud, and now they're making us unproud. Jayla Daniels doesn't look right like he does not he's thrown

a boat load of interceptions listen not to acknowledge that there's another college football podcast but I think but is right and Jaylon Daniels can't read defenses that well that's a YouTube show okay that's where I think today after

last year when Colorado Colorado State was a sensation that broke contain into like normal people watching it despite being on CBSSN this year it was on CBS and I think I was the only person who watched it And I only watched it because this is my video game team. I saw, there was, I saw some, like, some, because Travis Hunter had a great game, and I saw, like, some trickles of, like, Travis Hunter is the greatest player in college football.

And that may well be true, but, like, I'm sorry, beating the sorry-ass Colorado State team is not, is not the thing that, like, I'm going to be like, oh, well, that proves it, definitely. I am going to say a nice thing about Colorado is they do look like they adapted to either what had been established by their first few weeks or what CSU was doing tonight. Shudor threw the ball 49 times and didn't run around all that much. He moved around in the pocket a good bit,

but like just lots and lots of taking what the defense gives you. Sure. And it could be a mixture of they decided, hey, we should call something besides Verts, along with him, you know, looking around it as other receivers a bit more. Yeah, Travis 113 catch. but a lot of guys got involved um it was like the most coherent their offenses looked in a long time um and so yeah there i mean they still can't block all that well but i mean the defenses

looked okay like coloros defense looks improved i will say that about them against in this game or overall i think oh no overall i do no i think overall they look better than they did last year which says defense okay yes it says that the ball was on the floor and now it's probably six inches off the ground okay all right hey look hey they've got they still to come they have a case state Oklahoma State and Utah so we'll find out together I want to celebrate tradition for a moment we have returned return return September Maryland is back oh thank God that's right September Maryland facing this week only this week only a special on September Maryland

selling hot in Charlottesville, Virginia, as they defeat the Cavaliers. You ride with the corked up white boy. Sometimes you've got to deal with the crash out. Oh. That happens. Okay. Anthony Colandrea at the causeway. Yeah.

Anthony Colandrea called us at halftime, and he's like, I'm five minutes out. And guess what? Sometimes they don't show. Oh. Okay. And that's exactly what happened here. I hate that. 27, 13th, September, Maryland.

At 2 and 1, we can bring you all the way back. Anthony Colandrea, two picks, zero TDs, had himself a learning experience, what we'll call a learning experience. He did not get into the VIP tonight, and he will tell you all about it via 138 text messages tomorrow. TCU blocked three kicks tonight and had a 21 point lead at halftime, and they lost. UCF came back to beat them, 35, 34. And UCF in I think the cruelest blow of all Outdid PCU at their own game I think in the shitty video genre I would say UCF's effort was you know

Sure it fits the others I just like seeing Gus Melzaun's goofy ass in one of those It's delightful to me I just like the resputin remix Another team that I think deserves some credit for beating a resurgent team full of what John L. Smith would call that hot piss. That's right. Banderbilt nearly beating Georgia State, but Georgia State pulling it out at the end, baby. That's right, on a last minute TD pass defending the TED. That's true. They both have like very adaptable stadiums. Let's say that about these two teams. Yeah, listen, Diego Pavia did everything he could to get them all the way back after surrendering, after pulling them back.

Oh, they came so close. This is still an improving Vanderbilt. I don't really like, typically you'd go, oh, man, that's just Vandy doing Vandy think. No, this is a good football. This is a good football game. I'm fine with 3632 between these two teams. This feels like you got everything you could have possibly wanted out of it. You know John L. Smith is Alex Smith's uncle?

I did not know that We have a weird story to tell about Arizona State's game at Texas State Besides the fact that Arizona State Traveled to San Marcos Of all places to play a football game Did any of you, Ryan Jason Did you guys watch the end of the end of this game?

The end of I did not watch it live Mostly I remember thinking that Texas State Should have let Arizona State score Just so they could get the ball back That is one of the first interesting thing about the end of this. But you're talking about something else, clearly. Yes.

Okay. We're talking about... Was anybody aware that Texas State got a play after the broadcast ended? No. Yes. Oh, because it was fourth down and... Okay, yeah, sure. Go ahead.

So TV... So there is... So play ends. Yeah. Clock expires. Yeah. TV crew, coaches, everybody take to the field to shake hands, exchange pleasantries, and leave. The officials note that the clock operator has put one second back on the clock.

Oh, Jesus Christ. ESPN has signed off at this point, by the way. Yeah. Because Harry is at midfield, Harry Liles, our buddy, is at midfield. Can I just say, it was very funny seeing Harry nicely dressed in a suit next to somebody wearing an Arizona state anything.

It's like, what incongruency? Like Cam Scataboo, Cam Scataboo is one of those football players who, even in a full uniform, you're like, that's a man in a jock strap. Like, he's just one of those guys who's like, he probably just hangs around the house in a pair of boxers. It's like, yeah, man, I'm just, you know,

living. Just, just fiving. But they had to bring everybody back onto the field for one second and what really reminded me of it was tonight and i don't know if anyone noticed this in lexington kentucky at the end of that game when mark stoops had given them nine seconds to go the entire length of the field in a brilliant piece of game design the clock operator at lexington kept putting one second back on yeah that was nine and it kept ticking to 10 yeah and you hear the announcers start laughing like because you can just tell like they're like hey Hey, Marty, can you put one second back?

They won't notice. Just do it. Give a little home cooking. Come on. Give Grock Bandergraf. What, 10 seconds. Grock Bandergraf. He almost did it too, man.

Oh, boy. If it weren't for you meddling kids. But it kept ticking back on its own. It kept going for like 9 to 10. And the official was like, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey. can you reset it to nine and I'm convinced the clock operator was like

oh look sorry it's me to put one second back on there someone someone pointed out we didn't even mention that Alabama went to Wisconsin and beat them 42 10 that was fun for a quarter yeah I mean Tyler Van Dyke got hurt not ideal certainly

Jalen Milrow looks really good Alabama is maybe not going to miss a step what do you want from us yeah well I mean they're they're gonna they're gonna host Georgia in two weeks and if you just want to go off this week

oh man huge game if you want to go off last week oh man Alabama's toast like I don't know what you want to do with it frankly speaking of things that I don't know what we want to do with them my dad was

walking through the room tonight and he saw scrolling, and I was like, ah, is Butch still at Arkansas State? And I'm like, according to the internet, people are still really mad about that. So yes. He said, oh, it looks like they gave Michigan a game. And I looked up because the last I had heard of this game

was when Butch was lining up for his second sad field goal in, or second sad punt in Michigan territory, down 18. And I'll be damned if Arkansas State didn't put on an 18.4th quarter to put together what extremely. fraudulent 1828 lost to Michigan. I mean, yeah, so yes, that is, everything you said is correct. At the same time, Michigan threw 18 passes in this game, and based on how that's going, I think that's too many.

I think they need to cut that number in half. I think Michigan needs to, like, embrace Service Academy levels of pass run ratio. Davis Warren. Who is throwing shit on the field at Cal? Yeah, Taifa. And why are we being warned for it? freeze. Cal student section

is added again. Y'all, it's San Diego State. Save your powder. They can't be stopped. They're too powerful now. They are. They're coming with the triple pack of critical race theory

right off the plane. The lives. The lives cannot be stopped. I am still, admittedly, a little stuck on this South Carolina LSU box score. Oh, dude, I watched that whole game.

It was weird. Something's so awful. about LSU and I don't... But I just want to give you a few stats from South Carolina's side of the box score. Three of a 12 on third down. Mm-hmm.

Three turnovers. 13 penalties for 123 yards. Three point, three point loss. And they were a makeable field goal away from overtime with their starting quarterback out for a big chunk of this game.

I, and also if, listen, if, if Sellers doesn't go down, I don't. Sure. I mean, this was such a weird game. This is a game where you watched the center snap the ball off his quarterback's face and directly to a South Carolina defensive linemen. Okay. Michael Scholar in the comment says LSU has internal has eternal tummy rot. And that's kind of close to what I was thinking. That's gout. You're talking about gout. They would.

And this is this is one of those things. where it's based on nothing but like this team looks psychoutable in a way that LSU teams are never? I feel like on the on offense they haven't synced up their run in their past game real well

like I don't like they should run the ball a bit more than they do and I think they might fix that just to protect Nuthmeyer in terms of that LSU is one of those teams Boise is another one that always seems to play with a sort of

of fluidity right like like there's a there's a hive mind like you can't see you can't see the moving parts you just see the flow on the surface right yeah and that's gone yeah the the parts the different parts of their offense like the past game and run game are disjointed i think that's my read on it also south carolina just might be one of those like scrap iron teams where the box scores are always going to look like a sorted part right yeah right i think that's just what you're going to get 10% football product right exactly you know what's the rest now that's what i call football volume big knuckles south carolina football right you'll be like i don't remember this track so there's the one a m menu item of the week yes game cock superman says am i crazy but i don't think

much of our schedule is an auto l dude i know how this is going to sound after what happened to today i don't think you have a whole lot to feel bad about if you're south carolina no not at all i really don't okay this is that said this is a schedule that still has Ole Miss, Alabama, Oklahoma, Missou, and Clemson on it. And I'm not saying all of those are AutoLs. I don't want to play South Carolina if I'm any of those teams, not necessarily because I think we're going to get the brakes beat off us,

but because they are squirly and hard to pin down. No, yeah, okay. That's fine. That's fine. South Carolina commenter who's on the screen right now has it absolutely right. I don't think you can write off a whole bunch of this schedule is an L. Yeah, also, though, not the way they're playing right now.

I will say this, this, with, given the way this team is constructed, I think, don't think much of their schedule is an auto W either. Right. Yes. Yes. Yes. This is the same team that, like, did not look good against Old Dominion. And it's not a good year for Old Dominion.

Virginia Tech handled Old Dominion easily today. See, we mentioned that game. They also, well, there's also, that's also, that's, not inconsistent with them being and we'll see over the course of the season with them being one of those teams that plays to the level of their opponent which where have we seen that before Georgia? Yeah. Yeah.

Maybe that's the first maybe that's the first quality of a championship team we're seeing itself. Maybe this is just the Dungeons and Dragons team of the season where it's just like it's a 20-sided die and you know today we rolled 15 and who knows what we're going to roll. next time. Oh, indeed.

I, well, before we get any further along into the errata, dregs, and corrections department, I wanted to own up to. Are we doing corrections? I wanted to own up to something. That would imply that we know that we were wrong. I did. Well, I know I was wrong. Oh, okay.

You are what the scoreboard says. Okay. And my North Texas mean green today. Oh, coach. Okay. Listen, coach, I got to, listen, I got to take it to the council here. We had a rough day. I'm going to need some guidance because I thought they could handle the Mixolydian modes of this offense.

I thought we could handle the 15, 13 time signatures. I thought the free jazz offense was ready to go and that we could take the Bebop defense and actually do something. We got Brubeck. Let me tell you what. We got Brubeck's. Let me tell you what. Texas Tech, those cats can jam because they beat our ass 6621. So we're just going to have to go back to the rehearsal room

and see what the space tells us is what we're going to have to do and come together as a playing unit. Was that a joke about the Norwegian band Casson Jammar? All of it. I'm just checking. Also, because we didn't get a chance to mention it, Florida State has now officially failed to hit its win total for the season.

Less. Less is hitting already. It's September, it's September 50. Last. I have a, oh, not an apology, but a warning. Okay. Do we need some kind of, can we establish a Tennessee football policy, like a Florida football policy? I feel like I need, I feel like I need an electric fence around me.

Do you need bumpers? Why? Listen, I'm going to get worse. We all know I'm going to get worse. What is your concern? I don't know. I'm going to become more unstable, and I already feel like I'm really unpleasant to listen to. Okay.

Sure. Unless that's going to be fun for everybody. Well, let's, all right, let's do this. Let's pick. We have a Florida policy. I feel like we need one more. It's like anything else. That depends.

Why don't, why don't we just see what happens with the Oklahoma game and go from there? All right. All right. That's all. I don't, I guess I think, I guess I'm leaning towards like, if Tennessee is going to be fun, and right now they're pretty fun. Like, we should be cool with that, right?

The way I see it is, you know, as the only person here who is neutral, when it comes to these SEC East or former East teams. Both of your alma maters are interesting right now for totally opposite reasons. That's very true and very, man, that word interesting covers a lot. You have two of the most important teams in the country for wildly opposite reasons. Very, very weird. There's also some kind of, not in here, not in here with us as friends, but everyone's out there on X the Everything website,

there seems to be this like, there's sometimes I get this impression that people think that I am somehow above or apart from the seething hive that is Tennessee fandom. No, no, I'm one of them. You guys don't understand, you guys understand here. They don't understand out there. I'm one of them. I was born and raised here to two other people who went there. I had never had a chance to escape.

I'm just as bad as all those idiots I'm an idiot too I'm not setting myself apart from them I am absolutely a part of this hive you just haven't seen it yet sorry it's okay in advance it's okay

yeah I'm sorry I called your boss it happens I mean you did it you did watch somebody blow up tannerite with a firearm to do you want to talk about your little initiation today yeah I got to attend welcome to the family buddy

yeah got to attend a ceremony We had a family wedding, and what's family wedding without our day after the wedding tradition of we take the new bride and or groom target shooting? In this case, Teddy Bear stuffed with tannerite. Did you know the only legal way to set off tannerite in this state, at least, is by shooting it with a firearm? You know how there are people who can tell you who can rattle off the age of consent in every state? My friend group is that, but for what it's legal to do with explosives and where and on your own property or on public. public property or on federal property. I feel like I should point out the Venn diagram between those groups has a very big middle

section. No, it's not. We're on one side of it. I'm not saying your group is in the middle of it. Age appropriate wedding. Age appropriate wedding. Oh, seriously, dude, we shut the bar down at 11. Everybody at this wedding was over at 40.

It's very sad. Because they wanted to get up early and stuff tanner rights and stuffed animals. Because we had to get up early and stuff. Apparently in the Cal game just now, Justin Wilcox borrowed the refs microphone to tell the crowd to stop throwing shit on the field. Hey, settle down! Oh, when the commenter said Justin Wilcox had seized the mic to talk to Antifa, I just figured that that's literally what's happening. No, that's what happened. No, he's grabbing the mic off.

He's grabbing the mic off the ref's lapel. Good. Like it's an iPhone mic and a TikTok video. And the ref's just like, yep, this is, this is the only way to get these wraps. rowdy leftists to calm down. Hock two of your seats, kids! I have to, oh my Christ. How many, by the way, how many Cal students were like,

who is that guy? Why is he yelling at? That number is non-zero. Anyway, everybody's fine. I think the biggest piece of shrapnel landed. How far away? About 30 feet. No, no, no, to us. Oh, that one? No, that was 50. That was a good 50 feet. No, how close to us?

Oh, like 10 feet away. Get the dramatic part. this is why you can never testify in court that's right this show is presented by prize arms or ribs only at prize picks the skunk we did not blow up a skunk we did not we did not uh any final thoughts before we yeah right what would you do if you had to prepare spencer as a witness kill himself i think you know what i do you know how sometimes you give a child Dramamine before a long car ride, but you don't tell him you're giving him Dramamine, and they're just like, this juice tastes, that's what I would do.

I just get him real sleepy. That wouldn't always work. I'm going to let longtime listener Susan Kaiser speak for all of us when I say, Ryan, what the fuck? I, listen, if my choices are Spencer falls asleep on the witness stand or Spencer talks on the witness stand. Actually, yeah, what if you just gave him like a very powerful senator? Yeah, if you can't be held in contempt because you're a sweepy boy.

I think the thing you have to worry about me more is me roasting the opposing counsel. That's probably what you have to like. The toughest question is what does Spencer wear to court? What I got on? Clothes? Was that your answer? Me wearing anything else would be, me wearing anything else would be perjury. That's true.

Be like, yeah, this is not me. Yeah. This bipedal bears in court. Yeah. We're not, we don't have, we don't have a, socks sponsor right now, so we don't have to pretend like you'd wear those to court. Exactly.

Did you not wear socks to court? Your Honor, listen, you're wearing a moo-boo right now. Your Honor, now, if I had worn socks, Your Honor, it would have been bomb us, but... Just me and Cam Scataboo and jock straps are living, baby. Another great suggestion from Adam in the comments. What if we just gave Spencer one of those Chinese finger traps?

Ooh. And he could just... Or like a yo-yo or something? Intriguing. Yeah. There we go. I think I could get Spencer to testify, honestly, if he were lifting while he was testifying. In Gaines, there is truth.

Yeah. Like, I think if I was like, all right, get up on the squat rack and get ready to answer some questions. I think that would work. Ready to balance the scales of justice with all this new mass, I acquired. All right. Let the people go to bed, Spencer. We will. Thanks for joining us, y'all.

Bye.