Shutdown Fullcast - FULLCAST AFTER DARK - Week 12 College Football Recap: Auburn Lost To New Mexico State

Episode Date: November 19, 2023

SHOW NOTES Everybody behave, we have guests! First up: Alex Kirshner of vaunted NFL media empire Split Zone Duo educates us on November Maryland meteorology As you may have divined from the title, New Mexico State beat Auburn in football, and we all saw. Everyone saw! Graham Mertz damns the torpedoes A bit of Michigan lore, as a treat The meanest thing anyone has ever said about Lincoln Riley Darude moves South Carolina Jason looks at a chalk season in a new light Remember to place your Bama feelings in the proper historical context  Another guest! Welcome Auburn Superfan Josh Playoff update for our beloved Big Sky conference SURPRISE THIRD GUEST!! And so much more Visit sunny preownedairboats.com! Subscribe to Vacation Bible School and Channel 6 and Buried Treasure! Listen to We’re Not All Like This and DNF! Sign your name away in full faith to Shutdown Fullbooks! (This last one is about to be VERY important) Learn more about your ad choices. Visit podcastchoices.com/adchoices

Yeah, now that we're... It's funny. Hi, friends. I see you starting to pile in. Yes, that's right. Hawkeye. Big Ten West Champs, baby. So we're having a hard time skiing. It would seem so.

Yeah, where is Godfrey? I invited him. He's asleep. Yes, I know. He's extremely medicated. So I was going to try and get him on to unburden his heart about Brother Hugh. okay we've we've treated and skated and people are joining hi hello everyone hi noah how are you hello as always listen thank you everyone for joining but tops on the list linked to users using their real names and jobs bravest people on the internet yes those of you in the chat who are asking yes uh spencer needs your

blood because he's in las vegas the town that turns your blood into money and then keeps it probably get blood pretty easily there had a little bit of a premium i think like do you think you you can door dash blood las vegas if you if you play the right cards you get or the or the wrong cards listen in a week that saw the emergence of three win pit anything could happen uh speaking of pit we have a special guest here in place of spencer it's alex kersner a place forever Fulcast after dark for men. Welcome. Wait, wait.

Was that supposed to be spooky? It was haunted. Was that spooky? Spooky welcome. I'm in a house with sleeping people. I've just arrived home for Thanksgiving. You know, I mean, you know how it is. Welcome to Alex's bed and breakfast.

Welcome to Alex, the quiet storm Kirshner. So what did you tell your family you're going to do right now? Hang out with my friends online. Same story as always. It ever was. So, Alex, ironically, you have welcomed the listeners to the Internet's only college football podcast. Interesting, isn't it? Well, let's, how about Alex is part of the Internet's only college football substack?

Is that fair? That's true. Splitsendio.com. That's the place to get us. Splits own duo. But we're not a college football podcast. We're more of a Jacksonville Jaguars and Atlanta Falcons podcast. Jesus Christ.

That sucks. That's the Super Bowl. that's the Super Bowl. The NFL never wants to see. And never will. Yeah, that's when you know the Madden's Dynasty Sin has gone too long. Dynasty franchise, whichever. Do we do the Coors Light ad on this or no? I can never I don't. Hey, it's Coors Light. It's so fresh and cool. If you're not, if you're not drinking Coors Light, get on it. Holly, Holly, what did you have just have to say? An apology to Kansas State. I don't know why it took me until week 12 to recognize that Kansas State has a player named Cody Stuffle Bean, spelled S-T-U-F-F-L-E-Been. I apologize.

I wasn't familiar with your game. And I just want to, I just want to say I'm sorry, and I will be better prepared in the future to see the cameras. to see the cameras zoom in on a purple jersey that says stuff will be in the middle of the night. That's sweet. Wow. Wow. Anyway, that's the most important thing that happened to Kansas State tonight. I don't think I realized that Kansas still hasn't beaten them in 15 years.

I think in my head, they got them like during either the COVID year or one of the last couple of years. But no, they still haven't. They still haven't. Who was the last? Was it like Todd Riesing? It's going back. to 2008, I think. It might have been the year after racing.

Oh, Pete Dantonia, not Dantoneo, God, Mengino. Pete Mentiono. Very similar coaches in many ways. Pete. We got Alex Kirstner in here tonight, and we wanted to open the floor to let him open his heart about, Alex, you had a day online with November, Maryland, teasing us all. I mean, I didn't have any kind of day online. I mean, I knew exactly what was happening.

You knew. You were the Oracle. Look, I went to the University of Maryland. My first year there was 2012. We spent four of the 12 games with a linebacker playing quarterback that year. You know, Maryland football is Maryland football. And we have proven that when we play Ohio State or Michigan or Penn State, anything can happen. Maryland can lose by a lot.

Maryland could lose by a little or Maryland could lose by a decision. sidedly medium amount. And today we lost by a little to medium amount. Anything can happen. Was some part of your brain thinking this is the day, at any point thinking, this is the day that it will be the secret fifth or fourth option. I stopped counting there somewhere. Well, on the third different attempt that the offense had in the last eight minutes to mount a game-winning drive, I allowed myself to think, wow, this is getting a little. little silly you never know um but then we took an intentional grounding safety so it was it was brief

the most honorable safety yeah it is an honorable safety yeah um i it says we've been recording for almost seven minutes and that is too long to not bring up the following new mexico state It just stomped the ever-loving bullshit out of Auburn. We did invite Godfrey. Much like Hugh Frees, Godfrey is currently heavily medicated. Not recreationally. He's ill. But let's all raise a glass to whatever his texts are going to look like in the morning.

Have any of you looked at the box score for this game? I dare you to read it aloud. I just want to ask some questions. I just want to ask some questions, that's all. It should only be looked at with, you know, with, like, candles lit and soft music playing. I thought you're going to say in like a circle of black salt. I mean, how many, like, if I told you, okay, New Mexico State, at the beginning of the year, I say New Mexico State's going to go into Auburn the week before the Iron Bowl, and they're going to win by 21 points. How many turnovers do you think New Mexico forced?

for new mexico state forces to do that wouldn't need would need would likely need to force yeah yeah like what would you what would you have said like oh that must mean they got yeah i mean that sounds like at least four right i don't know about that jason how many did new mexico state have when they beat liberty well i don't know i haven't memorized that box score i do recall that new mexico state beat liberty by a great deal because it's a better school better film program things of that nature I'm just saying if we're if we're talking about a 21 point underdog winning by 21 points that's if we're if we're saying each of those turnovers flips it by a touchdown at least three or four feel necessary right okay um to answer Alex's question Liberty in last year's 49 14 lost New Mexico State turn the ball over three times Auburn zero turnovers how many how many like punt return kick return yards would you say new mexico state would have needed in this game like easy way to flip field position this whole game is one of those riddles where it's like ah the surgeon is

the boy's mother correct yes like like Alex I'll give this to you how many how how much combined punt and kick return yard is do you think a new Mexico state would need to beat the vaunted Auburn Tigers you know I would think you probably had like one of those nice little 27 yard punt returns to set up a drive from the 45 sure that's that's not even that bold of a claim like that you're not throwing out like 80 yard touch zero the answer is zero kicks or punts even bothered to return didn't need advantage of that field don't even need them no thank um how about like crazy long field goals you know sometimes that's a way you pull one of these upsets is you you you bang some 50 yarders you hit something from crazy deep like how many field goals you think new

mexico state needed in this game seven well i'm seeing at least one based on the final score that is it's only one it's one 40 yard field goal pretty just entirely the most the most normal field goal link this this is just a new mexico state team that thoroughly outplayed a auburn up and down the field on both sides of the ball this is this is pushed around on the lines yes yes there's i encourage you gentle listener to go find the fake punt because there was one tricky thing uh and New Mexico State did. They ran a fake punt on fourth and two, I think just on the Auburn side of the 50. The tight end who ran with the ball, the upback, basically didn't get touched for 15 yards. Like, could have converted a fourth and 13 easily. It was, and this was just, like, New Mexico State ran for 213 yards on Auburn. Auburn, who only runs the ball this year, ran for 65 yards. New Mexico State with an 11 play touchdown drive, a 10 play touchdown drive. And one of these took up like nine minutes, 10 minutes?

A 16 play touchdown drive. God damn it. And a six play touchdown drive that they didn't even need at that point. No, no, they didn't. They didn't. This is how Auburn have for decades. This is how Auburn has wanted to play, right? 16 play touchdown drive.

Budget in. Like, and you paid $2 million to watch New Mexico. to go state do that to you that the nicest thing you could have said about your one of hugh free so far was nothing stuck out like they didn't it is it is good with nothing stuck out new freeze is involved oh they didn't look that good beating cow on the road i remember that vividly but other than that it's like yeah they lost to a bunch of teams they probably should have lost to they beat mostly teams they should have beaten and it was just like all right get to bowl eligibility playing some very uninspiring pre-christmas bowl get your one done you know like

even the iron bowl it's like yeah would it be nice to win and be competitive sure but i think everybody understands where it's that but now you just lost by 21 points at home to a good new mexico state team like this is not a a scrub team by any means but it's still a bad bad loss it's yeah It's not the New Mexico State of history, but it's still New Mexico State. It might be a 10-win team. It's also still New Mexico State. Yeah, the funny thing about this is that Hugh Freeze is kind of, at this point, possibly you have to consider a sleeper agent for his former employer,

because New Mexico State pulling this off is the first thing that has happened to Liberty's resume that they would consider that should be considered good for Liberty's resume since like i don't know like January 6th um it's right so like like their schedule is moved up to 132nd in the country today that that is essentially like new mexico state is not a good best win to have but it is now a better best win to have so that's very good for liberty there's a good for liberty there's a development for them today yeah i mean the their liberty's only historic rival other than like evolution i was going to say the pope climate change the pope started the pope started that one i don't hold that one against them alex i don't i don't want you to i don't want you to put you out of your

comfort zone or make you tip your hand on your show's content but how um how salty is godfrey's rant about this game going to eventually be? Man, I don't know. Like, sometimes, sometimes I worry before occasions like this, you know? Like, I call our lawyer. You're on standby, you know?

But, I mean, I think this is an occasion to just kind of hand the ball to the old man and get out of the way, see what he can do with it. He is old, I agree. My favorite thing about this from the on-field perspective is that I was thinking about this. I think it's true, but the chat could correct me if I'm wrong. Diego Pavia, the New Mexico State quarterback, is better than any quarterback Auburn has had since probably Jarrett Stidham.

Well, that's because I think he's a state wrestling champion. He also is, he has some Auburn sensibilities. He was caught on camera peeing on the practice field logo of New Mexico State earlier this year. That feels like something that is very SEC. uh i don't understand why auburn didn't like pay him to come and play football for them he was pretty good last year too especially considering hugh got a real good look at him when uh yeah exactly last year the the most oburn thing about this this is the same dude who in week zero against umass threw a pass when his helmet got spun around backwards

like his face mask was facing facing facing facing towards his butt and he still threw a pass That's the most Auburn shit I could ever think. See that, Hugh, it's called by faith, not by sight. Also, when he went and peed on the logo at UNM when they were playing there, after he did that, there was like the Los Cruces TV stations went around and did man on the street interviews asking residents about how they felt about the practice field pissing. And they were incensed.

Like, this was a blow. Like the residents of Las Cruces were unable to comprehend. that someone would do this imagine if he had walked into tuscaloosa and done this oh he'd be dickless or dead oh my god dj wally sparks in the chat her um all right do we want to talk about tennessee georgia brief nah it seems it's been assigned i don't find it i don't find it remarkable it's what do we just say about the how big of an underdog with tennessee and what are they lose by i'm i'm sure georgia covered Georgia covered quite a bit, yeah.

Yeah, Georgia did cover it. I think it was 10, and they won by 28. This is, I think I saw West Bowl, our friend of split-send duo, West Bowling. I think some did it at best when he said, this is a decent team, and a decent team is not going to be Georgia. It is a little funny that Tennessee came right out the gate and scored a 75-yard touchdown.

That was hysterical on the first play. And then it was like, all right, I proved my point. I can hang with Georgia. 1459, 75-yard touchdown. We're just here to see Miss Polly sing at half time. Dude, not a wrinkle on that woman's neck. She is so perfectly preserved. I saw her in the Hollywood Bowl a couple years ago.

And when she was not that much younger than she has now, and she played 10 instruments in one night. I bet she lifts. Anyway, as I mentioned before the game, I float as a kite on high detached from Tennessee football. What is a scoreboard to a kite? Um, caboose. I don't need to. I'm just sick. I'm just been sick. I would much rather, listen, I would much rather talk about Florida, but I only want to talk about one part of it. And then I will get out of it. Is that okay, Ryan? Rather, I just want to be clear. You would rather talk about Florida. I only want to talk about one play in Florida because it's the funniest thing I've seen all year. All right. Let's go. Okay. I have a section of my notes that's just labeled Oachtown. And it includes things like, uh, Michigan fans rush the field at Maryland today as the Maryland PA yelled at, them well that listen they're recidivists at this point west virginia picked to finish last of the

big 12 put cincy in the doghouse duke gave uva its third win uh my note just says i think tc u is feeling better uh and air force losing to unlb but i started this section because graham murts with florida down to something like its third string left tackle took out two defenders like like like barrel split defenders by himself injured one of them and injured also injured himself and had to go to the locker room for x-ray so when I say funny I don't mean it's funny

that he injured himself it was it was the most beautiful like charge of the light brigade anyway the Mizzou linebacker he took out is named Chuck Hicks which is roughly equivalent to beating a guy named Tank at arm wrestling and then right after that happened

the announcer called Florida upstarts and not in the funny way that I usually do it I mean. Anyway, that was, that was, I fucking love that. I'm sorry he's hurt. I fucking love that moment from Graham Mertz. It was so beautiful. My favorite moment from this game was, um,

the zoo's driving to win. And, uh, no one really knows where Mivas is kicker radius is. Cause like, I don't know, it's like 70 yards out. Could Mivas hit it from here? Probably.

The special team's version of like, fuck it. He's down there somewhere. Like, sure. Fuck it. Mivas's foot can probably get there. he's huge i bet he can do it uh did you guys notice that the florida defensive coordinator

austin armstrong looks exactly like todd grant them if he were 35 years younger 25 years younger i don't know fucking great now that's gonna be stuck oh yeah and they didn't blitz i went back and checked on the fourth and 18 or on the fourth and whatever i think it was 18 17 17 after i realized how much he looked like him i went back to look and see if they rushed like five or six they didn't. So at least you have that, Ryan, but it was, it was just a regular sit back in the zone and throw, throw right through them. It's, it's fine. It's fine. I'm sorry I brought up that game, but I just, we'll look up to play because Graham merch just is like, it's very much like Thanos saying fine, I'll do it myself. Um, Grammurch just barrels through Mazoo's line on

his own, like a bowling ball. I want to back up briefly. Somebody asked if Alex has yelled about the Maryland timeout and I want to make sure we get to that and also before we do somebody has asked why on earth was were Michigan fans rushing the field against oh it was there thousand wins for now stick around I am going to read some I'm going to read some of the teams that Michigan has beaten in its history to get to a thousand wins but first Alex tell us tell us about this time out that was a thing it was a good example of of the ways in which 5 to $10 million a year FBS coaches just don't understand the sport that they understand so well. Loxley took a timeout on 3rd and 18 or something from, or maybe it was

second, but it doesn't matter. The point is it was on like 18 yards to the line to gain from his own two as the play clock was running down in a one score game. If there's delay of game, they're going to back the ball up like a yard. maximum a half yard uh you just have to put your critical thinking cap on like and and not do that and it turned out i mean don't get me wrong like if we if we'd have had time at the end of the game it would have been an interception to lose the game or something like that like we weren't going to win but it it would have been nice to have the time out at the end of the game i would have appreciated that here are some here are some teams michigan has beaten on the road to 1,000 nine wins against

Overland was that were they debating possibly was that that's a semiotics team you're looking at the wrong thing one win against Grand Rapids High School one win against Detroit Industrial team I don't even know what that means that's like it's some guys with like chains and hammers that sounds like a sexy musical one win against something called American Medical in Illinois oh so that's why we don't have that that's actually the Michigan turning down federal funding for Obamacare. One win against Chicago Harvard Club. That's definitely the Harvard alumni in the city of Chicago. No.

And one went against something called Chicago University Football Club, which is not the same thing as the University of Chicago. These are like, uh, they're all they're vintage, right? It's like a cover band. They're 19 and seven against Chicago. And they're one in three against Chicago. Against Chicago University football club and probably somebody's like actually those are the same things, but I don't whatever. Yeah. Yeah. But you know what? Never beat Wesleyan. Oh and one. Fuck off. Also, uh, Michigan is one one. One one against Toronto. Uh, shout out to the people just discovery in week 12 that this show is on LinkedIn. We're guys, we've never joked in our lives. We would never. Two and no against something called Windsor Club in Canada.

I mean, that's probably a club in Windsor, Ontario, right across from Detroit. It could be Michigan State. But 0 and 1 against Mississippi State. What would you rather have a thousand wins or a perfect record against Mississippi State? I ask you, idiots. So like all day people have been saying, why are they storming the field to celebrate this thousandth win since they'll just have to re-celebrate it again in a few years when they have finally paid for their crimes? Well, they get to re-celebrate it. NCA math isn't real.

The vacated wins is not a real thing. No. It's not real. Like, it still happened. Every old title that the NCAA tells you didn't happen, it still happened, all right? The exception, there is, there is an exception. 2012 Notre Dame's record is indeed 0.1. That one is valid.

All the other vacated wins still happened. Just to illustrate the kind of teams that can go undefeited. against Mississippi State unlike Michigan here is a partial list middle Tennessee Louisiana Lafayette South Alabama no I'm doing it backwards shit wait all right here it is Air Force Iowa Maryland Nebraska Northwestern Washington Oregon West Virginia Indiana Georgia Tech Washington is in St. Louis something called oh Maine yep Maine undefeated against Mississippi State not Michigan You're not.

Trash, get out of. Indiana, Mississippi State. That is, that is bleak, man. That's, it's the ultimate, like, fuck, I guess somebody's got a win game. For, for years, that wasn't true. We had ties to deal with things like that. That's, yeah, that's true. We forgot, uh, we forgot today was a very important Indiana day.

I can't believe that that's true, but go ahead. They played Michigan State and who cares, but this was the game where Indiana had the half-time shrimp cocktail eating contest. Wait, is that only once? I apologize if this was... I thought it was once a year. Is it more than once a year? Because I haven't seen it this year.

Hey, the throngs of Indiana fans in the chat, let us know how often we do the shrimp half-time thing. If you're not busy in the restroom because of the shrimp cocktail that you ate, if you're able to look at your phones through your bleary stupor. The servers at St. Elmo's would like a word. It's more than once per year. we're told by chat all right well fine today it was on television because they were playing michigan state no tim lawton says once a year controversy oh so embrace debate no one knows indiana shrimp

is the finest shrimp um it comes out they got a river do they have a river it's local because we bought it at the grocery store there is a river in indianapolis yeah okay thank you all right we have an indiana defender on the call here so a serious one where yeah alks ars horchner loves indian You and I have been there together. Yeah, no, I enjoyed. And then everyone got fired, so it's fine. One time, Holly, one time, one time I was with Holly, I said to her, you know, I think it was when Holly visited Pittsburgh a couple years ago for the backyard for all.

I was like, there's three rivers here, but the seafood, but the seafood's not very good. You might be surprised if I always said to me, no, I'm not surprised. it was tough i was upset that you were so sincere and i felt really bad i felt so bad because your face just fell all right um what else have we not gotten to that we should um we have uh we have set up a among among the many looming unpleasantnesses of next week and we will get to them paul bunyan clemson south carolina we have set up a world beating week 13 for wazoo so wazoo easily dispatched Colorado Colorado is in a bad place right now and now gets to try to dethrone Washington in maybe the last apple cup for a long time

and that would that also get them to bull eligibility if my memory serves yes it would and it would also destroy Washington's perfect season up to now and it's in Seattle I believe and I'm sure it will be raining tax and oh I'm very sorry that I'm not going to make this game it sounds awful yeah it looks like it isn't yeah yeah I think if wazoo wins this they should just kick Washington out of the pack 12 because they have the power to do that now that's right as well as Oregon State agrees and they will They definitely. Well, yeah, it's a, it's a, it's a two, two university conference marching in lockstep together.

Oregon State did its best to kick Washington out of the play. Oh, my God. That game was, it, the score looks boring, 2220. Oh, not a lot of, not a lot of crazy stuff must have happened. Like, no, this shit was bonkers. It was, it was raining the entire time. No one could hang onto the ball. And not in any sort of an inept way.

Just a lot of shit was going on. And Oregon State was just threatening the entire. game just couldn't couldn't pull it together for the to pull the upset but the extremely valiant effort and yet another survival by by the huskies me cowboys says if there's any god in the world the coogs will do it i was you were all militant atheists they believe in cheese cheese is their god uh can cheese yes correct um what else oh hey i did not watch louisville miami did mario do anything stupid yes okay go on let's go let's have it Alex are you firing him Alex you're a valuable addition to the pod tonight and all he's he is too expensive

to fire if I don't I think that Miami's big money guy right now I'm not sure about his liquidity if you follow the the news I'm much more confident in the in the Aggie booster's liquidity given you know those economic indicators but Mario today this is late in this game. He had, I think, the full battery of timeouts. And it's fourth down and you need it. Richard had summarized this for me and then I went back and looked at it. And they could have used any time before that timeouts to like stop the clock and like, you know, extend the game. But they didn't. So they used these, you know, they just kind of keep these timeouts in the pocket it until the very end of the game.

They don't like to look on the goal line. They burn a timeout on fourth down. They run a bad play. They don't get it. Tyler Van Dyke throws the right side of the end zone, it goes out of the end zone. And then because they use the timeout to draw up the shitty play that didn't work, Louisville had an easier time I see in the game. And they had like, you know, no ability to stop the clock in the way they would have.

It was not a grade A Mario situation, but it was a Mario situation. I'm glad that he's providing consistency on this front. So not at Great A Mario, so it was a Luigi then. Oh. Yes. Oh. I think that's French. Hey, does somebody want to read the ECU Navy box score aloud?

Oh, my God. This is, so I think the most important thing to note is, I want to get this right. This was the first, yeah, this is the first time ECU has been shut out in 20, six years. Navy won this game. Historically, don't fare well against the Navy. Except when they do. Yeah, but those are few and far. I mean, those are few and far between. There's a reason like the East India trade company still exists today. Uh, mostly mascots. East Carolina through 38 passes in this game. For their trouble, they were rewarded with 155 passing yards, zero touchdowns, and two interceptions. It's quite bad. Uh, their leading rusher was,

the same man who threw all those passes Alex Flynn he ran for 31 yards on 12 carries and as a team ECU had 34 yards on 22 carries they couldn't do a goddamn thing Navy passed 11 times Navy did pass long passing yards but they also threw they also ran the ball 50 times yeah I mean yeah it's Navy yeah this was this has not been a very good year for ECU and that now we have set up i believe no i think no i'm wrong i think navy's got at least one game left but we could potentially be getting an army navy game where the winner is bowl eligible because army also army lurched up to wallop coastal tonight that's right that's right um so army is five and six navy has to be either smu or army they're at five wins and for like truthfully for

both of these teams like the fact that they are even on the cusp of bowl eligibility It's a big improvement from where they were much earlier in the year. Can I read you part of an AP game headline recap? Oh, Army has two FCF ones that are not eligible. Thank you, Black Squirrel. I'm sorry. God. The NCAA will figure that out.

The NCAA is full of lies. So a team, quote, rallies in fourth quarter, end quote. So when you hear that and you know that the sport is college football, when you hear that this game had a third. thrilling conclusion. What kind of score do you imagine when you, when you, when you picture a team rallying in the fourth quarter for the win? Please tell me this was Kentucky, South Carolina. I'm, what, what number would you put on it? I'm going to say, wait, for the final score in the fourth at the end of the fourth? For the final score of this game that involved a thrilling race to

the finish. 31.28. That's what comes to mind. 38.35. In fact, it was 15 to 13. 15. 13. Yes. I have. I, I, Iowa over Illinois, to clinch the Big Ten West title in the most Big Ten West fashion possible, Iowa needed a 30-yard strike with four minutes left to ice it. Yes, that was four minutes. Oh, gosh, we can't get down the field in that amount of time. Let's just call it a wrap. And yeah, I was realizing during this game that Illinois still had a chance to win the division,

which was just horrifying. but the hawkeyes got it done uh entered the year with uh someone dared them to see if they could score 325 points in 13 games they're going to get to maybe 250 points in 14 games they're just this what an awesome team just hit hideous like disgusting awesome like do you know how many teams don't have nine wins because it's a lot of them it's so many teams almost all it's all but two teams in the ACC it's uh all but four teams in the SEC it's all but two teams in the pack 12 like getting nine wins is so hard and to get nine wins when you refuse to score points like there was there i think it was after iowa scored the go ahead touchdown there was

a scene where a bunch of the players and kirk ferrance were like going over to brian and like clapping him on the back and high-fiving him and shit like hey it's your birthday happy birthday i'd be so mad if i was him and they did that he seemed very happy and it was just so funny because at the same time they're showing like the scorebug at the bottom it's like iowa 15 just like this rules this rule is so hard go ahead touchdown feels misleading here because it sounds it makes it sound like there were you know of the many touchdowns that occurred on this night we're talking about this one iowa scored too that's not how they got all 15 of these points, but they did score two

touchdowns. The implication that you need in the Monick to figure out which touchdown it was. Yeah. The first one or the second one? Iowa, 34 minutes of possession. That's the stat. Oh, yes. Beautiful. Fuck, yes. Hey, they don't have nine wins, but you know who has

eight wins? I'll give you a hint. Speed is on. Oh, Arizona. Arizona Wildcats, good football team. Yeah, Arizona. Poor Utah. Well, Arizona did the smart thing, and they were like what if we didn't let yukon uton Utah like drag us into the swimming pool full of mud and old auto parts like what if into the swimming pool full of mud at yukon is more of like a lacrosse season thing

that's fair i also think that um swimming pool is like the contents of it is what utah's joints are made of this season yeah based on their injury list um yeah overall i think the pack 12 continues to be wildly entertaining like between that game the UCLA just absolutely handling USC like I that's that's one I know there's like some heat on chip Kelly right now which feels a little weird they've had a fine very strange they've had a fine year and and it's not a year I don't think it's a year where everybody looked like you know preseason everybody was like oh this is UCLA's year to jump up there it's like even if they were slightly better like the conference is so good and the top of the league is so stacked that it's like what you're

mad that they're not fourth in the conference and I don't know seems right now they have the same record isn't that fun and USC is just man so UCLA will have Cal next week they'll have a chance to I mean not only beat USC but finish a game ahead yes and and you want rid of your coach yeah I'm confused yeah who's gonna come in that's so much better like you've got Dan Mullen dunking on you on Twitter. That's how bad. I was told that getting rid of Alex Grinch would fix USC's defense

as if Lincoln Riley isn't just Cliff Kingsbury who can't dance. Oh, my God. Jason. Jeez. Everyone knows it. It's been the case for the majority of a decade now. This is Lincoln Riley.

I'm kind. No, that was just beautiful. That's like, you know, there's Alex's influence on here. That's right. He gets the slow knife through the ribs out and all of us. Yeah, so like... Oh, Lincoln also can't cook, right? That's how you can tell him apart too.

Yeah, I was going to say, I think Cliff could probably do a roast. Chip's not married. Or a smoking. Cliff doesn't bother. Like, Cliff just like, hey, come over to my cool. Come check out this sweet kitchen that I used that I bought with my Cardinals money. I never cook. I only order.

Cliff is smart enough to know I will pay someone to cook. Yes. I will. And if I, if I fuck up the cooking, I will not post a photo of it because I'm cool. Yes, that's correct. That's correct. And then I'll go to Thailand for a month instead of getting a job and it worked out.

Yeah. And I mean, as someone who is very earnestly pushing Chip Kelly for the A&M job, don't fire Chip Kelly. He's doing an awesome job. He'll be highly coveted. Extend Chip Kelly. Extend him so the Aggies don't take him. That is what will encourage the Aggies to take him.

To take him. Oh, you think we can. afford UCLA money? Watch this. Yeah. Speaking of which, Joey McGuire, who just got Texas Tech bullbound by one point over UCF, Joe, you need to be careful, because they're going to hire you to coach A&M if you keep this shit up. Oh, man. You know. For a little bit.

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you mentioned Joe McGuire. It reminds me of Jeff Trailer. who was Joey McGuire before Joe McGuire was Joey McGuire. You know, that was basically a copycat hire. Jeff Trailer interviewed. Either one of these would be great choices for A&M to be clear. But yes, there was this spectacular press conference this week. Jeff Trailer reportedly interviews at A&M.

And after the game, reporter asks him the only question that anyone cares about, which is, did you interview with A&M? And Jeff Trailer, without breaking K-Fabe, tells this reporter that there were 18 seniors who celebrated senior night tonight. And it is, quote, a travesty every second you spend talking about Jeff Traylor and not Frank Harris. Didn't start grinning, clearly had rehearsed it in the mirror. You know, you know, one of these coaches wants to bring up the Gaza situation. You know, they just want to be like, why are you asking me about this and not asking where the hostages are.

Did you know, 37 beetle species go extinct every day and you're asking me about the Texas A&M? How dare you, sir? the other the other delightful part of the pack 12 slate today was we got one of my favorite graphics at how coming at a half time of oregon arizona state which is bo necks touchdown six bonix state completions five i love it when he does that and like somebody is i forget who and where but somebody brought up like bo necks might very well win the heisman within a couple weeks of auburn losing at home to new mexico state it's beautiful because the union reverse is a very funny place a very very funny place he does somebody should uh go around to all the

coaches in auburn and ask him all right a fun video message here's my question bonix wins the heisman albert is definitely going to put out some graphic or shit back right uh god built by arborne made forged on the plane okay okay yeah i just want to be clear about that driven away by Auburn being insane could have had him instead of Brian Harsen probably you can't you can't welcome the prodigal son unless he leaves in the first place yeah but then again he's got to want to come back yeah well there's that yeah y'all be easy I'm gonna be out here for a while they say you know like part of the prodigal son you go in you're like waste when he frivolously well I'm gonna go make some first and then maybe we'll see if I'm coming to visit y'all I would

like to point out that Tyler from Spartanburg has just inspired the shit out of Clemson. My gosh. I agree with the Andrew Graham in theory that it was entirely a work. There is so much unpleasantness on deck next week

for the Clemson's building up a redemption there. The reason that I don't think it was a work is that Tyler from Spartanburg took time to note that he was a troop. And I think that if Dabbe set that up, he wouldn't have kicked truth to knock down that's the only thing that makes that's the only thing that rings

false to me it's i mean it's a solid theory but i mean that that's that's a hole in it right there um that defense has just been fucking smashing people drake may's numbers in this game are not good at all south carolina's defense was real fun swarmy is kentucky just bad this year is that like i know kentucky i know kentucky handled florida easily and i'm not well like even in Kentucky's good they're kind of bad so yeah yeah but are they like just just eh this year well yeah they're six and five okay like it it's fine but it's it doesn't feel like it has gone anywhere close to where they wanted it to no it was this is this was not that that that that balloon that that we were I said we were all hoping for it was just me loudly hoping to materialize out of

the Stoops era did not quite clear the horizon. Do you know who did clear low orbit tonight? I don't know if I was the only one watching the end of the Kentucky, South Carolina game, but Shane Beamer, koala bear leaped up on a player like a la Will Mustamp at Auburn or Will Mustamp at Texas. I hope this means that he is not destined to be a hated future head coach of Florida. We want better for him.

He's already skipped that step. He's just skipped straight to South Carolina. He leapfrogged it all together. Do you know what else he did tonight after the game? Yeah, he made a, he broke up a postgame fight, and he made another big classic postgame, Shane Beamer speech. He was having a time. He also had a moment with the finished DJ behind Sandstorm.

He got to meet the Rood. Oh, that was this night. That's right. And he told him, there's a hot mic of this. Well, not really a hot mic. He says to him, from Aaron, Finland. I'm going to look you up. Right.

I wonder if Finn is at home in Columbia. He's a little weirder places. The next time the Beamer family is in Finland. Like, what does the Rood think of the Hampton Inn? I would love Helsinki. I would love a Shane Bieber travel show. Shane Beamer, by the way, did one of a dude. He was an amazing tour guide of the field post game.

He was, you know, of course, Cole puts the mic in his face. And the first thing he goes, is, oh, that was ugly. You know, because he always, he always looks like he is just, miss stepping off the curb and being hit by a bus in his bus game speeches and he turns and points like he's pointing out a landmark and he's like nick made a heck of a play down there and he just points to the corner of the field but the best part of this broadcast was there was there was kind of an all team just just some gentle scuffling and shoving at midfield after the game and they had the camera focused in on shame because he was trying to find art for and shake

and Shane trying to separate his players from the Kentucky players with the exact look on a face of a father of four who has let all the kids out of their stroller at the mall at the same time and one of them is running for Orange Julius and one of them is running for Cinnabon and one of them is trying to shoplift from Annie Ann's and he doesn't have enough limbs to control them all

it was not a really good fight but he had just the most beautiful exquisite dad face trying to break it up can i um bring up a little bit of research i looked up during during the games today because so so we've had this thing ever since um the 2007 season where every season we kind of hope to get that level of mayhem again we we we never will we'll get bits of it this season however has had this like kind of opposite flavor where the top tens just keep top teams just keep winning right to like a suspicious degree in and like today uh Several of those teams had had challenges, Washington, Texas seems to get in a close one every, you know, every week.

Michigan had its first actual challenge of the year. Sorry, Ben State. But, but like we have, so we currently have, what is it, five top 10 undefeated teams. Plus liberties out there. We don't count that. I mean, you know, it's just like we're talking about like playoff contenders. the previous high was last year at this point in this season, a previous number of 11 and 0 teams in the top 10

when we had Georgia, Michigan, Ohio State, and TCU. And that might sound like we have this increasing trend, but the only other time that I could find this millennium where we've had this pile up of 11 and 0 teams, anywhere near the top 10 was 2009. Otherwise, it's just, you know, one or two per year who make it to that point. In 2009, we had Florida, Alabama, Texas, Cincy, TCU, and Boise. And that year, we knew Florida and Alabama would play each other,

and we only needed two of those teams to make the title game. Last year, the 4-11 and no teams, well, how convenient. Two of them are going to play each other, and we only need four of them. This year, we have an actual logjam. Michigan and Ohio State will play each other, but still. So, like, I don't know. I'm kind of into this thing where the top teams just remain undefeated because it doesn't ever happen. So at this point, I'm kind of rooting against upsets.

It's a weird thing where I'm like, let's just keep this going. See what happens if nobody loses. You know, we do cry out year after year for something different to happen. And this is different. There's also, oh, man, oh, there's a really, really annoying. not real world explanation, but explanation that could be provided that I'm kind of amazed nobody has leaped on.

How are we determining that these teams are our favorite or unfavored are the top ten? Well, the rankings. Well, that just means the media's gotten smarter. I don't think anybody can go with that. Come on, do it. Do it. It's the journalism degrees have gotten so good.

Yeah. I mean like it's those analytics guys yeah because what's interesting too is that like this also feels like a year where top to bottom

there is a lot of peril amongst those five because Georgia like no I don't think they're going to lose Georgia Tech I think I think Georgia Tech has a chance of like well you'll be like hey it's the first quarter

and this game is closer than it should be but Georgia's had like three closer calls and it should have right and they've stopped having them frankly like they're done with that part of yeah they're done with that shit and ohio state ohio state should have lost to notardine but georgia once they did it was they did a classic one when they played like mercer or some shit which is just the most georgia thing so so but georgia's georgia's going to play alabama in the cc championship which i think it has gotten lost in the weirdness of this alabama season that it is still an extremely talented alabama team it's just that

it had a weird stumbling start, which we're not used to. Or Alabama is coasting on a weaker division. Maybe some element of that. I'm just trying to start shit. Sure. Um, at least I have a more flawed division, certainly. It doesn't have Mizzou, so it sucks. Like, I have a hard time saying that the East is that much better, but that's fine. Well, the Mizzu's in that one. That's right. That's right. That's right. I have been appropriately Gator Chumped. Ohio State's got to play Michigan, obviously. But then somebody has to play iowa and i'm not saying you're going to lose to iowa but but you're going to look like shit it's not going to be fun it's no it's definitely not going to be fun you're going to make everyone say do we really want any of this in the playoff flor is for you florida state

just lost jordan travis a brutal truly unpleasant injury that just absolutely sucks for him one hundred percent no question and now we'll be facing a very confusing louisville team team in the ACC championship and at the very least the Louisville team that has shown flashes of being really frustrating to play as a defense and and then we've got the Washington Oregon showdown which probably still will happen like civil war still may have something to say about that and Oregon State can't be counted out and then it's just like oh yeah Texas is still looming in here that could be a thing like like if If Alabama beats Georgia and Texas wins out, like, I don't know how they're going to unfuck all that.

Bama won't make it. The SEC's out. Yep. And Texas will. Texas is crazy. Because I've been pooping. Texas is a SEC, though. There.

That's true. Yeah. So the SEC, in that scenario, the SEC will miss the playoff at the hands of an SEC team. Mm-hmm. And I'm shocked. that that is on the table because I did make fun of Godfrey and Richard on SCD for just for assessing that as a possibility earlier in the year. I still think it's not going to happen because like that's like the one really weird thing that just that you envision might happen and then it doesn't. But there's

I think Jason and I've talked about this before offline. Oh, they're going to put in Alabama with a bad resume over this more deserving team is the thing it's the shit we hear yeah yeah exactly like people say they're going to do that and like nick sabin will most certainly call in to find bomb or whoever uh and talk about how you know it's just so obvious that this is one of the four best teams and how could you leave them out and then guess what they don't put them in yeah like it's this it's this rent free panic that people have that bama is going to be given shit that and guess what Bama won't be given shit and then we'll forget about it. Like last year it was, which, which year was it?

It was like they're going to get in over Cincinnati or whatever it was. Yeah. And in everyone spends a whole weekend panicking about they're going to let Bama in. They didn't. Do we remember that we were wrong about that? No, we'll just. No, because the important thing is the real world. The important thing is we just want to be mad at who we want to be mad at.

We just want to be mad at the Alabama that doesn't exist. All right. We got to let Alex go because he has better sleep habits than the rest of us. Alex, also yes, you get up and do the hurry up. Before we let you go, Alex, do plugs. Plug away. Plug, plug us, Daddy. Yeah, I do splits-end duo with Richard Johnson and Stephen Godfrey.

And we would love, if you're looking for a non-college football podcast to supplement the forecast, we'd love to have you. We find that there's a lot of cross-pollination in those audience bases. So always great to be with my pals And we are at splitzoned duo.com If you're interested in subscribing to our substack, there's lots there. Thanks, buddy. But it ain't this.

Nothing's this. Great to be with you guys. Thank God, nothing is this. Thanks, my buddy. I just want to, look, I just want to go back to Auburn for a little bit. Oh, absolutely. So you're a prodigal son.

Like, it is a little bit, part of what I'm really enjoying about Auburn losing this game is that there is a not insubstantial portion of the Auburn fan base that looks at this and it's like good i fucking hate that guy like it's very weird to see i understand it obviously but like Josh Fleck in chat let's talk about it like Josh would you like to hop on for a moment like there is let's not do that to Josh um okay there's just a it's just it's just very interesting to see because I think there was just like like I said before I thought I think the goal was just like get through the season quietly get recruiting back up and running you know start actually having games that people are mad about one way or the other in a year or two but boy this is this is just delicious I just love it how do we give Josh a mic I don't know I've said him a link yeah I just I just can't I just can't be delighted in enough by this again because like it really was just oh the here is one clearly better and better

coach football team yeah and it's the team that loses the most historically yeah like if if if if you if you don't know the records if you just look up and see Auburn is losing to new Mexico state right there's no more embarrassing team in FBS to lose to historically historically they are 126th out of 131 teams in winning percentage all time so let's see who's lower I'm guessing Ohio's got to be really low UMass has got to be really low all right hold on um no Akron's got to be way down there no Akron is higher UMass is higher fuck I'm bad at this um UTEP okay yeah Kent State mm-hmm Georgia State f i you and charlotte so in georgia state and charlotte a couple of those are like

relative newcomers most of those are new yeah yeah and f iu is really relatively new as well utep and kent state are the two like yeah they played a lot of games yeah most that most of those are teams that probably should be an fcs right uh so speaking of fcs uh hey folks it's time for the fcs yeah let's do while we while we wait for josh to find his right he's here he's here he here. Oh, thank God. Well, I just, I just want to say, shout out to Montana, Montana Grizzlies. Big Sky, Big Sky, Best Conference in all of college football. Montana defeated Montana State today.

Going to get a number two seed in the playoffs, home field all the way to Frisco. Big Sky is going to take down South Dakota State this year. That's right. Also, Wofford knocking off Furman, upset of the day. Wofford is more. Sorry, Miller. Wofford had beaten no one but the Citadel who had beaten no one. And Furman was in line for possibly a number two seed.

Wofford took him down. Furman hasn't had this much disappointing. Hey, guys. Can you hear me? Yes. In the words of Michael Cain in the dark night, but I bloody did tell you. Oh, fuck.

No. Jesus Christ. What do you take me for? No. Just was it game day. at JMU today so I just set at the house all day fuck that shit

Josh as already told me and you don't know guys Josh is a like decades long season ticket holder at Auburn 31st straight iron bowl in attendance next Saturday Josh already rooting for that's a great question

Josh already texting me this and it is born itself out already on Twitter and elsewhere But as much as there are people who are like, yes, love to see this good for Hugh Fries. There's the other side of the coin, which is, well, this is just his Louisiana Monroe. Nick Saban had to start somewhere as well. We're even going into, we're even going into Kirby lost the band in his here. That's right.

Something shitty happened. That's probably good for us. Jesus What I've been saying the entire time about this shit is they are the reasonable expectation right now and I say reasonable from the standpoint of what's borderline absurd

but also not going to just make everybody go Auburn is going to spend Jimbo money on three separate coaches in the span of five years that's one Jimbo Fisher equals like 0.8 of uh yeah it's point eight jimbo fisher's for gus harson and freeze i think but yeah i think that uh 2025 um yeah brother hugh's gonna have a reckoning since uh a

auburn schedule is a zombie southwest conference big 12 schedule next year and you get georgia and alabama on the road oh very well come a pay day hallelujah what a pay day Oh, and Holly, can you, speaking of the Iron Bowl next weekend, can you take a guess the last time that Alabama beat Auburn for straight years and who was the coach? Oh, Shula. The coach was the last time Alabama beat Auburn for straight years. Ah, fuck, I don't know. Who's Bear Bryant? You know who ended that? Hmm, hmm, who's that?

That would be the guy that Jimmy Ray and the Yellowfellow wishes was his. Daddy Pat Die. We're going to lose four straight. We're going to lose four state. I'm still at the bottom of Lake Martin. Hey, shout out to Pat Die for, as Spencer has always said, having the most pagan funeral and burial, probably in the state of Alabama history. There is a thick strain of like Jimmy Buffett paganism running through that part of the country. My dad's one of those. You know where Jimmy Buffett went to college before he graduated from Southern Miss? That's right. Or Eagle. There is there is good news for opera next season. you get to play regular New Mexico instead of New Mexico State.

And they're not as good. So you should be okay. What kind of, for what, why would you book both, are meth? You have enough meth. They're also playing Louisiana and run. At home. So, you'll, ULM will be their ULM. Hey, we're all pulling for Terry to make it one more year.

It'll be the first time he's come back to Auburn since 98. He's going to get an ovation. Yeah, you know what Terry Bowden did in this first year? He went 11 and fucking oh. So he didn't lose to New Mexico State? No, we don't know though. He didn't play him. He's scared. It's really no way to say. He's scared. Who would have won? No, no way to identify it. Um, so Josh, how is that how is the Auburn family going to be feeling entering Iron Bowl week at this point? I think that you will have all of the same people that, that were stumping for Brian Harsen,

who will do the same thing that they did then of talking about recruiting, talking about how this is just going on, and how we've just got to give him time because Gus ruined everything and just hasn't been three seasons. So right now you're in that position where it was Texas for years.

It was blaming everything like Charlie Strong, even though it's like he'd been gone for like four years at that point. Florida did this with Will Mustamp for like three years. That was more reasonable. Yeah. I still do it with Tommy Tuberville, but I'm right. But that's valid for the entire country, though. Yeah.

I mean, I've said for 20 years, if we'd just let Bobby Louder cook, then America would be better. And I wouldn't have these fucking mornings with a goddamn football program. Oh, I miss you, buddy. I just. No, it's the, the Auburn people like me will go, will support. support the kids, you know, we'll do our thing, but we'll continue to hold our nose through this experience. And just pray that somebody, you know, the best thing that could happen for someone like me is for this dumbass to have something great happen to him by beating Alabama.

So he allows his hubris to get the better of him in 60 to 90 days and does something stupid where we can fire him and not have to pay him one red cent for it. That's such a beautiful dad-coated dumbass. That's, that is exactly what I want to happen. I want to beat Alabama

so this arrogant son of a bitch will find a way to, in his arrogance, get fired for something that is just blatantly stupid. Well, we know how he is in Tampa, so maybe a Tampa Bowl game would get it done.

Ooh. I don't think we're going to qualify for Tampa, and I'm a Birmingham resident. We don't have enough of that here. I don't think we're going to qualify for Tampa as one of the saddest sentences of her. We can get it done. It's the Hugh Freeze show. Who wouldn't want to see Hugh Freeze in Tampa? He gets up to stuff.

Now, Josh, do you think the Aggies might take him if he beats Bama? Oh, God. Oh, God. Well, you know, that would be quite a benefit. it to me, although I think there may be another coach who's a little bit more, a little bit more evangelical, even than maybe Coach Freezes out in front that if I was the Aggies and I was rich and decided to do stupid things with my money, I would decide to repeat the same mistakes twice. We're talking about PJ Fleck, of course. Absolutely. And the other, the Auburn

with 10,000 leaks. I want a different kind of crazy person. Thank you. y'all what if they actually do hire dabbo i mean um gab i think it's just crazy enough to i think gabbo would be so goddamn miserable and that's why i want it oh i think it has i think it has legs yeah oh yeah he wants to go somewhere where he's appreciated oh he wants to go somewhere where he doesn't have to be the reason for why they're doing nil because those motherfuckers in texas are with it. That's true. He has plausible deniability.

Yeah. I didn't change, but I'm on board with being an ag and gig him. Well, I don't know what they, I don't know what they do with the money, right? Like, it's, it's, oh, there's this whole apparatus where there's money happening. I don't have anything to do with it. See, it sounds like him already. Mostly what it creates is the natural Texas, Texas, A&M friction where. Oh, a rivalry?

When he and Sark go to midfield to shake hands, they're both thinking, Christ, what an asshole. That happens with Davo a lot. Wouldn't rule it out. I hope, man, I just want Shane Beamer to beat him up. I just want him to throw him in a locker. I don't care what happens at the end of next week. I mean, with as much work and effort as it takes to be the South Carolina head football coach, Can Shane Beamer do it devote any energy to anything else to get this goddamn program to what?

See, I think it's different. I think this is like sort of a slow developing incredible Hulk situation where he's being exposed to the gamma radiation that is South Carolina football. And it's only making him stronger. Dude, that makes so much sense because he's like, his neck is getting wider. I don't know what workout program he is on right now at Columbia. but like he's developing into like the a j hawk thwump silhouette and he that might there might actually be on to something there yeah he's nothing i think nothing will be able to kill him after this all right hang on i'm going to put the funniest comment i've seen all night up here my fear is that

a and m actually is going to do the intelligent thing and hire eli drinkwits sigh from michigan the stallions go go ahead and take coach snobsberries down there y'all hi i don't know i don't know what to do with that. There are worse ideas. And A&M has several of them. There are worse ideas, yeah. Is he going to bring his best players with him? Actually, that is a thing these days. So yeah, do it? Yeah.

Yeah. Wait, server, do you want to hop on? We're just having a party. Serber might be working right now. And commenting at the same time. The perfect crime. Been there. Thief. Hey, did you guys see cool thing about Texas A&M for one moment?

They did the 12th man kickoff team things are. Oh, yeah. Yeah, although... They played Abilene, so it's a good time to do it, but they're... They had their walk-off, they're all walk-off, all walk-on kick-off team, kick-off against Avalin Christian, and you will never guess what happened next. I didn't actually watch the play. What did happen? Oh, they hit the receiver so hard that he fumbled when they were covered. And then all the walk-offs ran into the end zone and mean mugged for the cameras,

and their walk-on, so they're tiny. It was... just so cute nice that's great it was just a really sweet moment it was awesome like they they're they're walking so they look like you know normal sized college kids and they were so happy and jumping around it was awesome that's the kind of thing a and m should do instead of like trying to win important games yeah that quite literally quite literally that is their carnell williams moment like we had last year just just that's it well hey i'm not i'm I'm going to have to drop, but Holly, I don't know if you know this, but I am very, no, I have texted you this.

Wanted to let your audience know, if you happen to see me on the sideline of the national championship game, thanks to my wife, I wanted to let everyone know that I do bear some sad resemblance to Ryan Day with a hat on. And if Michigan, for some reason, is playing Alabama, I can promise you, I am not stealing Michigan signals because that team on the other sideline, I can't take any more. You should attempt to look like you are because you do strongly look like Ryan Day. Your beard looks far more handsome. Your beard color looks far more normal.

Holly, as I said to you the other week, I have a far better silhouette regardless of how you look like Ryan Day in a handsome disguise. Well, I don't know anything about that, but I'm just here to tell you, I'm not doing anything to the detriment of Michigan if they're on the other side from Alabama or Georgia. I can't take much more of this shit while this goddamn football coach in Auburn has fucked up my program. Love you guys.

Love you, buddy. Thanks, buddy. Michael Serber in the house. Serbs, welcome in. That motherfucker is not allowed to leave. Wait. Why? For those of us who may not be familiar with your game,

can you describe which motherfucker you're talking about? That boy, Dabo, William, Christopher Sweeney is not allowed to leave. the goddamn upstate with what's likely going to be a seven and six season. I understand that we've won a couple of games in a row. But I feel pretty confident. Derrude was fucking there this week.

Like, that's not just going to wear off. Yeah. That's not just going to wear off. That's like when that's like when Mack Brown gets a hold of you at half time, hence the, really the next like five games of South Carolina of South Carolina season. They've got Derrude resume. So they have this, the Darud buffs will apply for at least one more week. Oh, Derrude is totally fucking O.P.

There is no, like, he's such a fucking giga-chat that there's no fucking way that anyone stops them at this point. They're going to win out. And they're probably the shot of us. The last time Clemson played in Williams-Price, South Carolina didn't score. And I think that's like something that they're going to get told every fucking day this week. And I don't feel confident about it. And so, no, he's not allowed to fucking leave. with the seven and six season and go to Texas A&M and go nine and three every year and be called

a fucking success. Hell no, he's not allowed to leave yet until we get back. It sounds like he's locked in there with you. God damn right, he is. Now that we're figuring out how to operate this platform fairly smoothly, we should have more angry people on it.

Yeah, who's maddest, whoever's maddest get to pop on? We're all fairly chill. Like, those of us who host the show are all except for Spencer are usually fairly chill by this point in the night. And y'all aren't. And I think that's beautiful. so i have no fucking chill so to be clear when clemson opens the air with georgia next year you

want dabbo on that sideline you need dabbo on that side out of spite it sounds like yeah if it's not dabbo sweeney then it's like fucking jeff scott dude like it's not gonna be oh god you're right you're gonna do the no you're absolutely right they're gonna i hadn't thought about this scott satterfield come on down i i hear he's uh drawing interest And they're going to keep it in the family. They're going to do the fucking Pete Carroll thing with this idiot. Yeah, I have a terrible feeling that Dabo has a little bit more to do with the guys not from Clemson getting hired from time to time. As much as our bitching has something to do with it, I also think, like, everyone with him.

That's personal. That's something else he learned from Nick. Yeah, like, I think that there, I think when Dabo leaves the fucking hire the inside guy thing is not going to go away. like that unfortunately because of our unfortunately because of our totally brainwashed new spring fan base like they are going to like abide by this shit for a long time well one of these days listen i i i keep promising this and things like you know pandemics keep getting in the way one of these days give godfrey and me like three months off and just let us go hang out at new spring and we'll come back with some we'll come back with some meat i just the fall

cast gets accused of having dark magical powers many times during this preseason server said i think clemson just needs an eight and four season there's seven and four right now like also server do you remember when i said if y'all if you were if y'all were just going to be the same or if you were going to go back to being normal people and he said you were going to maintain that same energy you have done that and i salute you thanks it's um yeah i don't think clemson South Carolina is my pick for the worst feelings of next week and maybe we'll save oh no there's one that's worse and I think I know which one you think there's probably there's a ton that are which which one are all right let's let's tease us out a little which one are you

going with uh my personal pick is the apple cup but I think you mean Paul bunyan that yeah that is where I'm at right now like I think that's just like two fan bases that are like very unhappy to be in the position that they're in deeply deeply and happy and it's the end of November in what's I'm guessing going to be 12 degree weather um which can be a good time if you're enjoying yourself but I don't think they're going to be um I think I think territorial cup has some potential to be like man the way Arizona is playing and Arizona states has like some stretches where they look good and others where today happens I don't feel good about that I'll feel great about Penn State, Michigan State nobody's happy right now

Colorado, Utah everyone would love for this season just end Yeah like Holly Holly brought up earlier that like TCU looks better I think it's just that Baylor is quite bad Oh

Like I think TC feels better because they got their I mean TCU feels better in that they found their favorite stuffy and are currently destroying it Oh the Cumbull Yukon UMass it's even written in the right order

oh excellent finally traditions matter again in college football real i can't take everything in this country um vandy tennessee that's not one that's really fun no it's not one bit i don't want to do it not one bit uh florida state florida's not going to be fun uh because of jordan travis's injury everybody's just going to feel bad about about yeah You know what, it will be fun, though. Yeah.

Black Friday. Every goddamn time. Iowa. Nebraska. This is a weird. With an over under of nine. I'm told it'll also be snowing. The temperature does look like it's freezing.

I don't want to jump into the Tuesday show right now, but this feels like the most stacked Black Friday schedule we've had in a while. All right. Let's save that for Tuesday. And let's talk a little bit about the end of. dude we missed something what we have not talked about app outvibing jm u we let's get to that as well um i just want to say Nebraska the the end of regulation of the Nebraska Wisconsin game uh Nebraska was down three and drove for what ended up being the game tying 30 yard field goal

uh they lost in overtime to Wisconsin but there were times like they crossed midfield with if this this number can't be right but they cross they cross they cross they were across midfield with a minute 35 to go and they genuinely did not appear to know if they should try to score a touchdown or not like no i was i was watching that's like exactly what happened like there was it looked like they actively feared potentially trying to score a touchdown because that was somehow bad or wrong and and i i can't remember the last time I saw a team so clearly playing for a field goal and then they like got a little too close and they were like, I guess we got to try. I guess we got to fucking throw. All right.

Well, that didn't work. So now just kick it. Very stupid. Um, yeah, JMU lost to app after app tried very hard to not let that happen. So apps like history of, uh, of taking down big teams now includes taking down the team not even eligible for the post season yes that's right that's right but like an unranked team here's the thing if you're i don't know the virginia attorney general whatever you're kind of pot committed right now right like yeah you got to you got to ride this out you got like you got to you got to you're in for a penny in for a pound that that bubble deflated but you it's still your bubble right like yeah gurger i'm so mad about the local university uh having to abide by the rules that agreed to abide by years

ago, even though no one really cares for football reasons at this point. GER! And now Liberty's going to get the G5 spot, probably? AAC. The AAC and the Mountain West have far better shit to hang their hats on. Okay. Yeah, I mean... I do appreciate that most people's steadfast refusal to rank

those limits. So you're saying it's two lane or... Let's see, well, the latest CFP rankings. Let's see, we have... Tulane's 24th. Yeah, yeah, so, yeah, just let that ride. Okay. Yeah, I think AAC or Mountain West, I mean, you know, in Liberty, you can quite clearly see they've beaten no one.

And other than a transit of win over Auburn. Going back to it, Tulane's only loss this year is to Ole Miss early in the season. It's a 17 point loss, but it's kind of like inflated by some silly scores at the end. like it was a very close game for most of it yeah and then on the other side you didn't need this like you didn't do anything with this season you could have just given that too late you could have just given us playoff too lean yeah and then you know SMU on the other side like their only losses are tc unacua so like the aAC champ is going to be sitting pretty uh the mountain west champ is that unlv whichever i'm not looking at it right now but yeah i mean i i would take the mountain west

or obviously I'm extremely biased, but I take the Mountain West Champ of Liberty as well. Okay. Okay. If they get past New Mexico State again. This is a lot of Toledo disrespect is mostly what I'm learning here. Yeah, Toledo, their only loss was a close one to Illinois. Like, yeah, let's put them in the running as well.

Liberty is the worst conference champion. That's fine with me. I think, yeah, I think that will end up being true. Unless Iowa wins the Big Ten. but even then they're the best like i can't even be bad yeah well i was better than liberty yeah i would watch that bowl game that's cherry fallwell junior would as well um server is there anything else you want to yell about clemson before we what before we wrap up uh nah he has to stay he has to stay is it just clarify is it to fix it or to stew in his mess

Um, so this might, this might not make sense to people who aren't wrestling fans, but like, it's kind of like watching Rick Flair in like the 92 rumble. And like, I fucking hate that guy. I hate him so much. But God damn, it's so good. Like everything that he did in the ring is so good and entertaining to see. Um, that like I'm not going to skip. that match if like I'm if I'm if I'm watching the rumble or like 92 if I'm watching that paper view I'm not going to skip skip the rumble and a lot of that has to do with how awesome it fucking feels like how awesome it is to watch some of the stuff that's happening and like a lot of those guys are terrible fucking people and dabbo I fucking hate that guy but also like I don't I don't feel like anyone else is going to win a national championship at dabbo over the next 10 to 10 or but dabbo over the next 10 to 15 years so we're acknowledging the head of the table devil Swinney yeah okay that's fair all right let's let's let's server hop off um

goodbye and we can we can continue our business from here um what else we got left somebody brought up uh bowl eligible georgia tech that's correct georgia tech did you guys watch it be a part of this game no no no georgia tech feels like do you ever have a do you have a babysitter who's like technically old enough to babysit your kids but they say something when you're on your way out the door like oh we're going to make slice and bake cookies and you're like I'm going to come back to a burnt shell of a home sure like they're technically old enough

and and capable of doing everything they're doing but I feel like preheating an oven slicing cookie dough out of a tube and putting it on a pan is beneath is beyond their capabilities at this point by which I mean, you let Syracuse sneak up on you. Syracuse. I choose to believe that that was... You almost fucked that game away.

What are you doing? I choose to believe that was one more twist in the knife of Syracuse season. That seems like normal Georgia Tech stuff. That's true. I know, but just like they've had, like, they've had so many positive steps this year. And, you know, it's like they got their learner's permit. And then they came home and they accidentally ate dog food.

No, I think Georgia Tech is like watching somebody who play a racing game who doesn't understand how it works. And it's just like, if I just floor it the whole time, you're like, you're just going as fast as you can in the wrong direction. But you're going fast. But sometimes those bumpers are on. But sometimes you're going fast in the right direction. And it's against UNC and it works out fine. Bumperes are on against UNC. Who else?

Western Kentucky got poll eligible today. um boise state got poll eligible today after firing their coach yeah uh so that's fun um there's somebody else that i'm forgetting i'm going to feel bad about this even though it's like doesn't change their lives um how could we how could we over looking oh Arkansas state that's it was Yes, let's talk about it real quick. Go ahead. Butch Jones, his turnaround, getting Arkansas State ball eligible turn around from what? Well, from his own bad years, but the Arkansas State putting up 77 points against a decent Texas state team to reach ball eligibility.

this is the box score of the week if the browser will pull it up because the like Arkansas State was already going to win and then they went on a scoring run that's like let's see let me find it there's a 91 yard fumble return 93 yard kickoff return 87 yard interception return 50 yard interception return and all of this happens in like six minutes like nine minutes of game time and it was already a blind I think our recording might be going crazy. It's probably signals it's time to part. All right, friends. Let's see. We're not going to do the Spencer's thing where we read Twitch names. Hey, if you're on Twitch, that's cool. That's like the exact opposite of LinkedIn, but that's all right.

I'm going to read user brick by brick butch. His message says, Butch for A&M. You know what? Why not? I think that's a good choice. We love bricks. All right.

Everybody, that's the show for tonight. Spencer's dead because you didn't send the blood in. Sorry about that. Yep. We'll see you Tuesday. Bye.