Shutdown Fullcast - FULLCAST AFTER DARK - Week 13 College Football Recap: Sexy Commodores In Your Area

Episode Date: November 26, 2023

SHOW NOTES Folks, it’s time once again for F*CK OHIO DAY Some brand-new podcast business Another uneventful Iron Bowl ends in FOURTH AND A MILROE ™ The whole crew breaks out their new Kirk Ferentz voices. Sleep tight! A genuine celebration of Kentucky-Louisville An un-celebration of SEC refereeing And so much more Visit preownedairboats dot com for all your holiday shopping needs Visit SHUT DOWN FULL BOOKS DOT COM  for exclusive literary revelations 👀👀👀 Donation link to Set The Expectation's holiday fundraiser as pitched by Producer Doug: https://secure.givelively.org/donate/settheexpectation/4th-annual-dc-coalition-holiday-gift-toy-drive Learn more about your ad choices. Visit podcastchoices.com/adchoices

Well, I might back down, considering back and down, doing stuff is hard, and I'd rather not so I'm back in down. Hey, I'm guessing what I'm not to say is news to all of y'all, but Tennessee had bench clearing brawls with Vanderbilt on three back-to-back plays. That is news to me. I didn't watch any of that game. Suck it, cake eaters. It's pretty good. I love rivalry week. Farmageddon is awesome, by the way. Being a cake eater on Thanksgiving week, despicable. But not be me, chicken pot cake, imagine.

This is pie month. They're all pie month. Listen, man, if you're playing Vanderbilt, all you're getting's cake, baby. Delicious cake. What does that mean? Easy. Easy to easy on the... That makes it sound like Vanderbilt's got huge asses.

Easy on the teeth. No, no, no, no. If they did, they'd be a much better football team. That's what I'm saying. You know, Vanderbilt got them cakes. Vanderbilt needs more cake, not last. Sexy Commodore. Yeah, I love my curvy Commodore.

Damn, they're so Vanderbilt. From stem to stern, you say, Captain. Yeah, acre town. I, I would, like, the best thing on right now is Farmageddon, if you do want to watch the Brayhawk retirement game. I believe that's on as well. for San Diego State. I don't know if this is still accurate, but Bill C tweeted that Iowa State has 42 points.

That part is still true. And at the time, as of like six minutes ago when we're reading this, they had run two plays in Kansas State territory. Yeah. Yeah. What a great, what an awesome visual and just straight up football game. Highly recommend it. Glad there were no other games on during this window. None. Absolutely none. Shall I kick us off? Do we have enough people?

No, we don't have nearly enough people. There's 220. Good Lord. Did you even retweet it? Resqueat it? Goddanna, I looked up and discussed and you made me lose a life in Super Mario World. On the day of the Cumbull, you come to me without having re-skeated. I have retweeted it. It's mostly that we call it the Cumbull. Making it a million times grosser, yeah.

The cum invitational. Technically all of them should be invitational. Yeah. The cumble where everybody has a shot. Nice. Senator Elizabeth Hall. Mm-hmm. It's terrible.

It's terrible. Much like the cum bowl. So speaking of fucking, welcome to the third annual Fuck Ohio Day because once again, Ohio State has failed miserably to defeat Michigan. so is it time to start the podcast i guess so yeah yeah hold on if we're going to do a fuck ohio week i got to do we got to do the chant don't we got to do the chant i got to do we have a i don't know about oh do we say fuck oh hi oh is that what we say i think it was that yeah yeah that makes sense hold on a second let me let me make some noise here oh god's just being a

noise maker yeah hold on i'm going to make some noise here ryan right ryan is a former oh i said about the bucks about to talk about the books oh god oh is the guitar coming, shitty guitar coming? No, I was just going to do the thing that lets everyone know the show started. Oh, that, okay. There's no need for that tone. Welcome to the full cast after dark. All the world's say.

Is that Georgia Tech? Just the first animal I thought of. Also, it happened right as Emily was walking into the room to bring me tea. So she looked up and that's all she saw was me buzzing. What kind of tea are we rocking? What kind of tea is? whiskey tea oh uh-uh the whiskey tea has caffeine so get your beverage of choice whether it's tea whether it's whiskey tea hey y'all get cozy with the full cast after you know

snuggle up get your bow wanky is this the sleepy time coo full cast after dark yeah it's the sleepy time you're going to be like that bear you're going to be all posted up in a chair you're going to have a little nightcap on you're going to have a blanket over your legs you're going to have a little cup of something there which you don't know about the sleepy time bear is that he's he's super fucked up on PCP. He's just laying there praying that he can hold on to the earth. That's what he is. We'll find a little spring.

That's the bear like after he's stolen a monster truck. Yeah. After he lifted a school bus and threw it at cops. Fought a whole gas station. He is a bear. He at least trashed a dumpster or two before he was like there's a long night of scavenging. I'm going

to go ahead and just you know call it a day. You know how tired a bear would get after like a like a brawl? of any sort? Baylor should consider PCP. Sure. Or Dr. Pepper. One and the same. Baylor football itself, a narcotic of unstable and unreliable results, so it's a good marriage. I assume PCP says for pepper, comma, Christian Pepper.

I would like to address the... That's Lifeway James Bond. Oh, sorry. It's the doctor is a doctor of theology. You don't want doctor like when they say is there a doctor in the house dr pepper would raise their hand and go yes i'm a doctor and you'd be like i doctor theology this this guy's going to die i'm sorry i misunderstood the question i can pray for him yeah i can pray for him this is this is this is this is the fuck ohio show fuck oh oh wow clap clap you know that's by the way that's not just what's our enthusiasm is it Fuck, Ohio. Are we so used to this now that it's boring?

Yeah, yeah. I mean, we only beat Ohio by three. That sucks. Oh, this is the Anui 3. Okay. Ugh, that's all. Yeah, it is the Onwee 3. It's this, though.

This is the thing that I find most boring about this particular version of Ohio losing to Michigan. And it's this. It's that they're right. Like, the most insane friend, like eventually, if you live long enough, you're going to agree with an insane person. And you kind of have to agree with the insane wing of the Ohio State fan base. He's like, yeah, man, Ryan Day's never winning this game again.

And they're like, they might be right. They really might be right. I think it's sweet that Michigan now has two coaches he can't beat. Ooh, that's true. They diversify the resume today. You couldn't beat the interim. You couldn't meet the sub coach. You got your ass beat by heads up, seven up.

Yeah. You got your ass beat up by the coach who just, you know, puts the TV in front of the room and puts on, you know, a movie for the club. Now, he's the coach who stepped up, so we should show him some respect. That's true. I like that. Yeah, this is basically Kevin Clark's theory of it's easier to watch baseball if you just say things like, can't get the big hit.

Like, that has applied to Ohio State all year. Like when Lou Holtz is able to say things that, gosh, end up making sense about you. My God, dude. When Lou Holt wakes up, you're like the most sports talk commenter friendly team of all time. Like anyone can look at Ohio State and just blurt something. And yep, yeah, it turns out you're right. When Lou Holtz wakes up and hears about this, he's going to level whatever he thinks Ryan Day's ethnic background is, he's going to level slurs at that man that have not been heard since the Louisiana purchase. It's a vintage shit.

Yeah, like, like, you're going to get some shit where they're like, I don't think that was ever used. used outside of three docks in Shanghai. Yeah. Like I, but that is, I don't think, by the way, a lot of the like, like Ohio State finds new ways for people to be right about them, right? Like the new way, the new, the way last year was, okay, we're going to stop the road to be super physical and they just, you know, threw them out through the ball over their head. Yeah, yeah, yeah. Like, okay, they keep getting oaky doked in these like very obvious fashions. This is two years in a row. They've let the previous edition of this game beat them.

Holly, what were you going to say? I just said, O.H. Kedoked, and now I will shut up. No, no, registered in it is fantastic. That's important. But yeah, this is the second year in a row where they fought last year's war, right? They're France. That's Michigan's thing. Yeah, that's Michigan's thing.

That's the problem. You try to beat them with their own game. You can't out war Michigan. I think. Especially old wars. We are failing to acknowledge. and unfair advantage that Michigan had in their favor, which is that early reviews started coming in for the Napoleon movie, which is full of historic inaccuracies.

And that really, you know, Michigan fans have been getting hyped up all week on pointing out everything that is possibly wrong with Ridley Scott. Once Ridley Scott said, I don't care what historians have to say, oh, brother, it was over. It was over for Ohio State after that. Like, that's, that's bulletin board material. but yeah that is they were too hype for it labor they were 100% hype but by the way i'm totally on ohio state's fan ohio state fan side in that respect which is that they'd be like no dude it was sick he had a monster truck on the ice right at austerlitz he had a he had a like an apache gun ship

it was awesome 300 300 is real because there's a 300 workout like yeah sure sure napoleon didn't shell the pyramids but are you telling me he wouldn't have wanted to like spiritually it's Bro, I'm so fucking yoke them doing the Napoleon workout. What do you do? I run home from Russia. Walk around Russia, hating it, and die on an island by myself. What supplements are you taking arsenic-flavored wallpaper? Just crushing that shit.

Cannon powder. Is it good for you? I can't be poisoned now. I've lost eight inches. Like on your waist? No. No. I can't lose any body fat because if I do, it's water,

So all the poison will leach it in my bloodstream and I'll die instantly. It's how I stay committed to this workout plan. You're not committed, bro. I'm committed. So in this football game, the emergent storyline is Ryan Day coaches like a scared Michigan coach, basically. Like the stereotype of this matchup for the past, for like the better part of this millennium has been Michigan gets all scared and weird. and Ohio stage is bold and dashing and daring. And that is completely flipped, completely.

Ryan Day would love to kick the field goal that goes awry, whereas Michigan is not scared of Ohio anymore. You know what I mean, no bar, Steve? One of our comments is like, fat, notably water soluble. You must be a Michigan fan, you pedantic dick. Take you now. Can we boot that? Anyway, that's what you get for Pete Andrew.

You know what I mean. he is like no bars steve yeah no yeah 100% no bars um anyway the uh this is one of those times where you go everything that you thought was everything that you thought was a maybe an unfair criticism of ryan day walked right into it walked 100% right into it like uh is he too conservative and settles for long field goals yeah did that a couple times a couple times for not much gain at all did he sometimes abandon the things that were working for reasons someone can understand yeah yeah 100% like the run game remember they boss they came out and they had an awesome touchdown drive 12 plays 75 yards believe they passed three times on that drive travion henderson was carrying the load

and uh they just decided to like not double down on that again they decided oh let's mix a little comma cord in there and uh that didn't do anything for you next play goes henderson Pass, pass. Nothing. And in a game with margins like this, like, that is nitpicking, but just keep running the ball. That's, I can't believe I am, again, I can't believe I am agreeing with like what would be like the most obvious dumb Ohio State fan critiques of Ryan Date. But run the goddamn ball. Yeah. It was, it was tough sledding on the ground, but you knew it was going to be. You knew it was going to be. That's the whole thing. That's the whole brand, right? Yeah.

You know, and this is the game in which, you know, a lot of things can. happen when you throw the ball and most of them are bad. As as Ryan noted the other day, the New York Jets are working on discovering yet another bad thing that can happen when you throw the ball. But yeah, this was a game in which just, you know, just keep just keep plugging away in the trenches. It's the stupidest analysis is absolutely apt in this game. It is totally right. I don't want it to be right. This is one of those like, you need to run the ball, play defense and punt. you're like, hmm, probably should have run the ball played differently. I don't want this to be true.

They weren't playing awesome defense. No, they really weren't like, which I don't think that version of this plan necessarily goes great either. I think, well, I think adjusted for the quality of the offenses, they both played, they both played good defense. Yeah, they played fine, but I guess I just mean like there wasn't, especially, especially given that last Michigan drive that only ended in a field. but eight up seven minutes of clock. I don't know. It just felt like it felt like a little dicey to be like, yeah, we can just lean on the defense here because the defense got zero stops in the second half.

Michigan had a 46-yard field goal drive, a 75-yard touchdown drive, a 44-yard field goal drive, and a 56-yard field goal drive. And like, yes, those aren't all touchdowns. But they're not stops. And these are not, like, by and large, like, oh, Michigan starting with awesome field position and Ohio State's defense is behind the eight ball. All of these drives, like the closest of them started at the Michigan 36.

Yeah. They weren't getting stops on defense. They just weren't. Three of three on fourth down conversions for Michigan. That plus the two picks. Plus a call that clearly looked like a Michigan touchdown to me, but Ohio State fans will argue it should have been an interception. I don't know.

It seemed pretty clearly a touchdown to me. I don't know. That's a faith-based argument. You can't really, you know, like, yeah, sure. To me, it's, you know, those are the key things, the fourth downs, the, uh. And the turnovers. Yeah. And not going for it on fourth down, turn the ball over.

Like, Cal McCord, by the way, had another pick in the barrel. Like, sometimes a quarterback just looks like they're itching a throw pick. Every now then, Cal McCord looks like that. like oh man just can't wait to get it in someone's hands maybe my receivers maybe somebody else like he was pressing a little bit and that last pick was probably due it just it just look not to get too woo here but like it's just funnier that michigan won this game like oh hi maybe next year it'll be funnier if ohio state wins it but like it wasn't it wasn't meant to be there was nothing faded about Ohio State winning this game and it's funnier that Michigan did

it would feel Ohio State winning would feel like quote marks quote fingers justice winning right because like Michigan has become the bad guy team so it would feel like fake bullshit right justice redemption narrative like no come on no no one here no in here's actually done anything actually wrong beyond the normal like they make money off college football beyond that you know um so like i don't know that that plus i guess i'm all in on michigan actually being america's team like they've decided that oh wow and it's all right it's complete bullshit to be clear bear with me it's complete bullshit of course it's obnoxious and annoying but i love it because i think alabama's america's team but that's fine they were today yes

they were today yeah they were 100% america's team although really watching this game do you think signals would have helped like what signals have helped with for anybody it was like hey who's getting the ball it's either travion or it's marvin harrison yeah maybe the occasional pass to egg buca maybe that's it like like it wasn't like either of these game plans were like advanced technical knowledge no blake horbs get the ball dude second down but corbs getting the ball maybe we'll throw to roman wilson are a tight end every now and then but he'll be in single coverage because the rest of the time blake horam's getting the ball i mean ohio state probably would have liked to know that a half back pass was coming for like 30 yards uh yeah that was a good one

you know fortunately fortunately by the way that was like a little underthrown otherwise it was like a six it was a clear six but still donovan edwards nice arm like a really nice arm on donovan edwards yeah i mean i think a michigan interim coach winning this game and uh yes that that was the funniest outcome without question. Ryan Day being able to beat multiple mission coaches. And this brings us to the annual tradition, which is Ohio State is on the very outside of the playoff bubble and we are all bias. Remificationing our way into working them back into the number four seed. That happens every single year. You can go back and look literally back to the first playoff when they did make it in a number four. matter what, the football season, whether it is full of upsets or it's like this year

where it's just constant, awesome drama, but no upsets. Either way, it will engineer a scenario in which Ohio State is number five, and we talk about them, possibly, with some help, moving up to number four. They won't. Like, Ohio State fans had to watch Florida, Florida State and care about it. It's so stupid. You're welcome. So stupid. That's brutal. Like Ryan Day is going to have to bring his stupid beard on television. and like yell at ESPN about why the Buckeyes deserve to get the fourth spot. He's going to have to care about the Big 12 championship game.

Yeah, this is a big skunk from WTRT and Columbus. I just wanted to go ahead and let everybody know here that, you know, the national media body has already kicked in against the box here. You can see, by the way, one, only team they've lost to is Michigan. We had a touchdown taken off the board unfairly, which was definitely a touchdown. Additionally, hold on a second. initially you got to admit that by the way the biggest obstacle to Ohio State is Ohio State okay and that's it you want a team that control their own destiny Ohio State there's only people stop at Ohio State at this point okay so everybody come in I want all the people call in okay all my big skunks okay my little skunks call in we're going to go ahead and talk about this for the rest of the weekend this is sponsored by the way skunk nation Matt dogs Matt dog's gonna go on ESPN first take on Monday morning and like argue that Ohio State deserves to stay at two because they played the best game of the year.

Yeah. It's fine. That is good. This, this is the, this has become, um, Stephen A, Stephen A, let me tell you. Losing to Michigan is more important and more impressive than barely beating Georgia Tech. Like, obviously in past decades, this has often been the casuals bowl. It has become that again, right? Like for, for the 2010s, it was LSU Alabama.

This has reclaimed the spot as the game Yankees fans are aware of. Like the game that makes people think, boy, I'd like to see the Giants draft a couple of them guys, like that level of awareness. So, yeah, it absolutely could be the case that like, oh, that team, they looked really famous. I bet I'd like to see them again. Who's the other team that's good? Pitt, are they still good? No, no, no, no, it's not true. It's Notre Dame.

And yes, it's notary. Miami. Miami. They're right. Florida State, I heard of them. Yeah. they're 11 and no i'm sure that's no 12 though i'm sure that's normal yep totally normal dude uh i love by the way bobby bounds a hell of a coach really built an amazing program

i can't wait for the o tb crowd okay i can't wait for like people who don't follow college football to have i want people to get real out over their skis and i really have faith that stephen a is going to be the dude to do it like like because stephen a just he'll make an information for a about college football and he's going to make it stick out of complete conviction he'll start talking and i'll go the man's right he's 100% right ryan day is the man to lead this program or he'll somehow make it like ryan day is too close to the cincinnati bengals who are a loser franchise and it's like okay i guess so i guess he's got bengals poisoning the bingles must be relocated ever since joe burrow left ohio state

Like, I want people to just have the most out-of-pocket, complete bullshit opinions about this. All right. Please. We, this is already not true, but I would like to, like, revel briefly in the fact that ahead of kickoff of, of the game, we got a rumor, I think from Bruce Feldman. I think on the air, maybe not. I'm not sure. Yes, it was on the air. With, sitting next to Urban Meyer, I believe.

That Texas A&M was maybe waiting to reach out to Ryan Day, but only if he lost. something like that yeah like like i'm kind of i'm kind of but i'm not entirely wrong yeah because the thinking would be he wouldn't leave a uh a playoff run yes right but yeah and and like hey at this point it's like was that um was that infosec information warfare while they uh waited to see if mark stoop's beat louis it worked which maybe we save coach stuff for the midweek show but i just want to say man uh if a and m hires mark stoop's yeah this is a do you know ball or not. Oh, 100%.

Your reaction to this news, if you're like, oh, they whiffed, stop. Go to sports reference. Go to sports reference, Kentucky. Be sure you're looking at football instead of basketball. And sort by, you know, ranked finishes, things of that nature. Mad dog, they could have had, they could have had Ryan Day, who's an absolute champion. Kentucky doesn't even play Michigan. How do you trust this guy?

could a hire jimbo fisher that's a national champion mark stoop's beat florida several times at kentucky well that's not impressive like give me something better than that it is impressive because it never happens mark stoop's won 10 games multiple times of kentucky multiple rank finishes like the coaches who've taken kentucky to ranked finishes in the past um more than half century it's like bear bryant mark stoop's does that sound like a good club i think so I think they should have got Bear Bryant. They should have dug up Bear Brian, I heard of him. Let me get you a winner.

He needs, admittedly, you're going to get him off the scrap heap, but you know what? I got savings for you. Eric Mangini. Can you consider Eric Manini? You know, they should have hired a literal bear. Listen, I know in Texas, it's all about, it's all about beef, but what about the big tuna? That's right, Bill Poncell's, Texas A&M head coach. You know who won a lot of football games as a tech.

this coach was Jimmy freaking Johnson. What do you say? By the way, like the idea of Bill Parcells trying to coach a bunch of like kids now. Holy shit. It'd be so good. He'd be like, you should have died in the womb. He might be so out of touch that it actually works, you know? Bill Parceles got sued after the opening introductory press conference.

An abusive environment. He's been here three minutes. Should we, should we pause? Should we pause for some podcast business? Unexpected on this, the, the full cast after dark. Oh goodness. Sometimes necessary. Doug.

Doug, where are you? Hello. Jump in. Hey, hey. Appreciate you guys. Momentary podcast business here just wanted to say, I'm doing a fundraiser for a charity thing happening in my part of town. And I asked the crew here, hey, can I push this?

And all good for me. And there's a fundraiser that's near and dear to me. At this point in time, everyone's heard the name Brenda Tracy, the advocate against sexual assault on college campuses. She runs a nonprofit called Set the Expectation. The last four years, they've been doing a really dope charity event here in a D.C. area that has been awesome. That has been near and dear to my heart. and they do it with a couple of local area athletes here. The reason I'm posting all of this is that they've had a bit of a fucker of a year

for reasons you can probably guess already. And I kind of want to take it upon myself to help those folks fundraise for this year's coming charity event. It's a shopping event where they go to a toy store, buy a bunch of shop, excuse me, I'm having a stroke. Buying a bunch of gifts, a bunch of toys for families impacted by a domestic violence in this area. The rates are pretty high this year, so it is sucked all around, but I've seen what this community can do. I love what, when it can rally around. And so basically my pitch is, if anybody can spare a dollar, $5, whatever the heck you can, I'm going

to drop the link to this fundraiser in the comment section of this chat and the Twitch chat and pin that. I'll also post a tweet for any donation efforts for the link to to it all. Anything you guys out there listening can punch in. That would be amazing. And yeah, I apologize this isn't a cleaner pitch because I am so nervous to shit talking. How dare you? On the audio masterpiece that is the full cast after dark where every word is carefully selected and expertly deployed. That's a good pitch, Doug. That's a good pitch. Way to step up, Dougie. That's right. David Cohn. Derek. had a good pitch thank you guys uh i have posted the link in the comments and the streamiered

in the twitch and i'll post the tweet momentarily um anything anyone could toss out there please that would be incredible yeah Doug was nervous about post about it making this ask and it wasn't because he was afraid of overstepping his bounds as our producer he was afraid that y'all would do voices thank goodness that didn't happen luckily luckily some Someone else chimed in with voices. But yes, obviously we support this and we support Doug in his endeavors. So, yeah, get out there. It's not terrible talking yet.

What's your excuse? Yeah. And if you're listening to this after the fact that not live, we will have it in the show notes if you were interested. Yeah, all that. Where else can we get this information again? I'll post the links on the comments. I'll post it on my Twitter. And I have a blue sky.

I'll post it there too. Tell the people what your Twitter and Blu's kind of. Oh, D-R-E-Y-E-S, C-E-R-O-N, D-R-E-S-R-O-N, that's it on all the platforms. I think that's it. I think that that should be everything, I think. And if whoever donates whatever, feel free to post a screenshot, send it my way, and I'll try to tally up whatever people send out there.

We already have donations, by the way. Sasha Borg-W-W-A-A. Hey, okay. We love you guys, if you're drunk and happy in opening your wallet to Georgia fans looking at you. They're not happy. Okay. We're going to donate to the fundraiser, but then

Ryan said no. It's important to, it's important to donate even when you're drunk and mad. Yeah. Yeah. Drunken, no. I will go back off the stage, and that's it for me. Thank you, Doug. Thanks, guys. Y'all rock. Thank you. Good freaking job, Doug.

I agree. We're really something. Go back into the podcast, Dome. Go back in your hole dog what is the what wait aren't we in the dome why don't no oh my god oh my god we're all right we're in the um we're on top of the podcast dome we are oh okay we're at top the podcast dome and he's like scotty in the engine room he's down there i have something that will delight all of you um yes timely reference i have uh something from the field though i have fresh information from the field is it from farmagedon no it is not it is from las vegas i've been waiting to tell you guys this ever since i got back from las vegas and forgot to do it on the show

tuesday circa circa has the um the distinguished honor of hosting brent musburger's podcast okay yeah because brent musburger has a podcast yeah what is circa serca is a downtown casino um and a pretty nice one it used to be yeah uh nothing it's like brand new it's completely built up i believe it is all its own thing um gross and he has his own it was previously occupied by the las vegas club hotel casino the mermaids casino and the glitter gold oh my god they tore down mermaids for this yes so spencer is completely wrong please go ahead i i figured there wasn't a lot of free space downtown in las Vegas but i was going to go with it yes but there is circa occupies the slot and in it they have uh above the gaming floor right and the sports book they

have brent musburger's like podcasting cube he has this like transparent box i know it smell crazy in there brentz just did there with like the thickest joint like they have a musburger enclosure yeah they have a musburger enclosure so that you can go see brent musburger just getting off hot takes like live like and you can and i hope there's a little sign that's like Like a koala, Musburger actually sleeps many more hours of the day than people expect. If he's sleeping, do not knock on the glass. I don't know what the industrial cleaning process was like before they built this new facility, but I will say that Mermaids is the only casino or facility of any kind in the world where I have reached my hand into a coin return and pulled out what felt like a handful of human ashes.

That's cool. that's what me ma would have wanted so you so you mean things they were pebbly so you're saying you won yeah yeah I did I won me ma

three skulls came up on the machine all of a sudden it just started spitting human ash did you see musburger in his enclosure no this was when mermaids was still a thing no sorry I meant for Spencer did Spencer see mousbler no I did not see must burger this was actually a friend of the program

Bill Barnwell who excitedly ran up to me and was like oh my god You have to see the Bill, you have to see the Brett Musburger cube. You know, it's all fun of games until Brett Musburger throws his poop at you. The must, that's like the must borg. He used to do that. It's a cube. You can fire a gun at it, but it only works once.

Then he adapts. I like that you're describing it like it's Magneto's prison. That's what I have in mind. That he's too dangerous. His takes are too hot. And he has to be confined to this box. You are looking live at me. We should have killed him when we had the chance.

Hello, Charles. That's it. He's like, it's like Loki in the enclosure, right? Like, oh, he's behind me now. Ah, I felt for it. The only metal he can manipulate his colloidial silver. Just chips. He's like, I could do anything with poker chips.

But only poker chips. The gambit of poker chips, yeah. Do you think they even let him onto the strip? Does he have like a tether to Fremont Street? I hope so. I hope he has like some sort of, I hope he has one of those callers from science fiction dystopian novels, but they're like,

it'll explode if he goes outside this. May we now please discuss the arm, the arm bowl? Oh, oh God, yes. Did something happen? Yeah. Like where would you like to begin?

Oh, and at the end? maybe the silliest game i've like not again we talked about this on on tuesday's show still not sillier than what miami did but it is very very silly indeed it's pretty robustly silly yeah um let's let's let's start with the punt can we start with the last punt of the game okay sure so with auburn leading 2420 and about five minutes left in the game uh they force Bama into a three and out, which I think at that point was their second consecutive three and out. And Bama had been struggling to score all second half. They had a field goal in their first ride. They missed a field goal on their second. They were just, just really sputtering.

They kick a punt that the Auburn returner like goes the fair catch and does like an America's Funniest Home Video slip without like without any cause just sort of like falls falls right on his butt and turns the ball over to Auburn uh to Bama I should say at the Auburn 30 so this is automatically like the biggest play of the night for for Bama what happens after that friends where do you want to go from here so many things happened so on that drive man let's get this 100% right okay do you want to skip to the third and 20 uh yeah there's a so jalen milro there's a on actually let's start at second and 11 because something really funny happens there okay sure right uh which at that point there's second at 11 then milro gets sacked and it

becomes third and 20 yes uh and then jalen milro manages to scramble a brilliant scramble, by the way, all the way up, past the QB spy who took, if you go back and watch, there is a QB spy on the play, and man, he is, he's, he's optimistic. We'll come back to that QB spy. Yeah, we'll come back to that. But they are spying him, and this QB spy takes a very optimistic angle on him. Like, I'm that fast. He was not that fast. And Jalen Milrow gets 19 yards down the field to the 10, where he absolutely hammers an

Auburn defender who makes a great play and limiting it to a fourth and one and not a first and 10 and then pays the price badly for it on fourth and one. Alabama gets it. Hey, it's 143 and Alabama has the ball at the seven. Anybody else want to take it from here? So they they pull a nifty play on the fourth and one too. Like they make it look like they're going to run a tush push, but they pitch it instead and get three yards off. off the edge kind of a teasing the butt but yes correct yes um so first in goal they run for a loss of one yard again they're in field goal range where they can potentially tie this game and send it to overtime second down is where things get very silly on second and goal

from the auburn eight uh jaylon milrose in the shotgun the snap comes jalen milrow is not prepared for it and it's not a very good snap does anyone remember where this ball ends up. It ends up, I believe, at the Auburn 26. That's correct. Yes. Yes. And it's still goal to go. There is a play I forgot about that happens in between here. But there's some discussion at this point about like, you know, whether, what Auburn strategy should be and how they should sort of proceed because they are down four. So I'm I'm sorry, I misspoke previously. They're down for it, but they have all their time out.

So it's sort of like, should you kick a field goal and try an on-side kick, you can potentially still get a stop, et cetera, et cetera. On third and goal from the Auburn 26. What happens then? Some shit that I have never seen before. Go ahead. So Shailen Milrow rolls out approaching the sideline. I don't recall a spy on him at this point.

The spy was a, the toggle was flipping on and off randomly, it seemed. And he had a lot of room to run. He probably could have gained 15 yards if he'd taken off. But he crosses the line of scrimmage, sets to throw, and then hops back onto the, like, back across the line of scrimmage that he just crossed. And his arm was behind the line when he threw. And it was a situation where everyone just sort of thought, are you allowed to just re-declare yourself a passer by going back across the line? Not it.

It turns out, like if you're not, like it's the cha-cha slide. He won hop that time. Time to pass now, y'all. Two hops that time. And so we all discovered, thanks to his ingenuity, that you actually cannot do that. but the yardage accrued by that penalty turned out to be critical for Alabama. Okay, so that was a loss of five yards and a loss of down. And it also required a Bama had to burn a timeout or there would be a 10 second runoff.

I guess because like it's similar to intentional grounding where like the ball should have still been the clock should have still been live or the clock was live when the when the penalty was thrown so then we get to fourth and goal at the Auburn 31 where everyone is just shoveling dirt on this game for Alabama because they're down four and now it's like even if they wanted to kick a field goal it would be a 48 yard field goal they don't have enough timeouts left they you know they'd be counting on making a field goal and getting a an on side kick like they're just fucking toast let's start with what auburn does on defense the situation did we count the time out here by the way that yeah sorry go ahead yeah did we count

the time out that they have i haven't said that okay so they come out they flash Auburn flashes Alabama flashes what they're going to do on offense what they're going to show and Georgia tech does the same or I'm sorry I'm looking at a box score I know And Auburn does the same. And Auburn calls a timeout, because they want to talk it over. Well, surely, they came up with a really good plan. Like, let's get a little bit of pressure on Jalen Milrow. Let's try to, you know, if he runs around, whatever,

that's not a big deal. There's no way he's going to scramble for a 31-yard touchdown. So let's, you know, let's pressure him and otherwise keep our guys back deep. Is that the plan they came up with? Two rushers and a spy, baby. Okay. But, but that leaves eight guys. to cover to cover you know it's not eight guys going out for a pass right traditionally like it can't be

that's that's not do you know what it does leave what does it leave anybody know what it left please anybody so isaiah bond in my opinion it left isaiah bond but the idea is that that in the in that situation with uh a fourth and what fourth and 31 fourth and 31. Fourth is 31 functionally, right? It's fourth of goal. It's fourth and 31. It's fourth and a milro.

That one would not leave a man behind you. That you would have some help on your receiver. No! You ain't got any of that shit. He's one on one. And Bonn gets the better of him and catches the past. We, well, hold on. We should also, like, I have not gone back to count.

But if you had to estimate, how much time do you think Jalen Milrow had in this pocket with, again, two rushers and one spy who was not doing anything other than sort of shadowing him horizontally? About a year. So, like, it's difficult to say that the eight on five was a matchup problem for the defense. But considering the amount of time those five had to scamper around, Quite evidently it was. And the fact that Jane LaMle Monroe threw a perfect pass. Yes, in the back corner. Excellently positioned by the receiver as well.

The catch is something Daniel Moore would have painted. It was a beautiful, beautiful slow motion catch. Oh, the keepsakes that this is going to get turned into, the Christmas gifts that dads in Alabama will be receiving. They're going to leave up Daniel Moore and make him paint this. Yes. The blankets that will be woven, depicting this moment.

Oh, that's what you're all meaning for Christmas. You're getting woven Isaiah Bond Afghans in one of you now. Grandma, I know you'd want the nightmare and Jordan Hare, so I got it for you. The unanswered prayer. The unconfessed sin, a few phrases at Jordan Her. Like, this is the most Auburn way to win a football game from, you got the ball in this position in the first place off the stupidest muffed punt possible to, you converted, you can you turned third and 20 into fourth and one and turned that into a first down to fourth and goal

from the fucking 31 you threw a touchdown strike yep like and and it would be just uh jamie howard in the comments yes airbrushed on a beach towel is the correct medium for for an alabama victory scene um yeah this was uh quite evidently you have have forsaken Auburn Jesus. There is a decision you made in the off season. Everyone told you what you were doing, but you did it anyway. You hired Hugh Freeze. Quite evidently.

Whose whole thing is Hugh Freeze can win this game. Yeah, yeah. You hired the guy because his entire resume is having beaten Nick Saban a couple times. That's right. And he didn't do that. He didn't do that. Yeah.

They didn't come close to doing that. Actually, they did come close. They came within a fourth and three one of doing that. They came, we would have rather lost by 40 close to winning this game. Even for your streak of said, just saying things. That's, that's a nice thing. Like I'm saying, if they want a real coach, they're going to go get Eric Mangini. Spencer just went full Bama fan.

We just beat the hell out of you. I did. Didn't. well it's a W baby we count it they almost covered because after all of these shenanigans there was then a defensive touchdown very nearly should have gone for two

and tried to cover but something dumb happened after that yeah I can't even dumber yeah Bama 1 by 9 if you just look at the score you're like oh they had a little bit of a tough game but you know not much of a problem wait they didn't they didn't count this interception did they

they didn't count the run back I don't think oh right right right yeah but but it came family one by three family one by yes I apologize yes but indeed on the on on Auburn's last two plays of the game Peyton Thorne took a sack that was nearly a fucking safety and then from the one yard line through a pick that got ran back to the Auburn three but but again like for a brief moment with that it stuck in my head if you take that last throw away Auburn nearly beat Alabama with a starting quarterback who's passing line up until that point was five of 15 for 91 yards with one touchdown and one pick that almost did it yeah quality football game incredible awesome yeah no notes i mean

was it as good as iowa and nebraska absolutely not i mean absolutely not like please let's get to that game next but every single year this this day is just just Awesome, because Ohio State, Michigan is always completely watchable even when it's a blowout. Same for the Iron Bowl, even when it's a blowout. And you have a million other things that it's just like, oh, my God, I'm catching up on all these things. And then, you know, then the late window, there's so much going on. Apple Cup was down to the, like, yeah. Okay, so Iowa, Nebraska.

My God, what a football game. So entered with the lowest total in the history of anyone tracking that sort of. thing the like fifth time best burger fifth in my box according to uh information uh hack from musburger's info cube uh yeah jason way to manifest this by the way you've been you've been putting the psychic work in for this all year and to see it deliver like this was just that's got to be i think i think i think i think i think i think i think i think i were eager to oblige for what it's for 10 pin in the final minutes the nightmare scenario looms. We go to overtime, and they're going to go over.

They almost can't help going over, right? In that situation, if 24.5 is the number. But then Iowa sets up for a field goal and trots out a kicker who had not kicked at all the whole year. So the nightmare scenario looms again because clearly this guy's going to miss it. He doesn't kick. but no

Nails it One swing all year One win One win to get to 10 wins On the season He should retire Yeah Never kick a ball again

The undercashes This was after This was after each team threw a pick In the last two minutes of the game Both of them brutal picks Both of them just back-breakingly terrible picks There was a baffling moment

With the clock And this game was in Nebraska in Memorial Stadium where like at one point when Nebraska had the ball in the last like four minutes or so the clock just didn't run for like a 12 second period and sure enough when Iowa got the ball back like they basically they basically were able to get in position to make this field goal very easy because they had a little bit of extra time there was a moment in this game right where at the end Kirk Farrance was interviewed and he started tearing up and I know people were And I know people said, oh, man, he's just so emotional, I care so much about his kids.

And I'm, I'm sure that to some extent is partially true. However, I also saw those tears. And I thought of every scene in a movie about a serial killer where he's looking at, like, where he's looking at the detective who he's bound in like the final act. And he's like, if you could just see the grandeur of my plan. Don't you understand what we're building here, detective? When I become the butterfly. You and I.

You and I, we are the same. We are art. those other people don't understand us the world is our palate they like they like big numbers you and I understand earlier voices because these are worse we've whittled it down to the bones we're gonna go under time is the only thing that binds us detective and that's why I refuse to score more than 12 points we're gonna go down there we're gonna go under don't you see punts, multiple block field goal. Two block field goals.

Both of which were short. Both of which were like sub-35-yard field goals. Passing 11 for 28 and 15 for 28. Fucking beautiful. Nebraska rush for two and a half yards to carry. Absolute perfection. Long rush for Nebraska of 14. Kept Nebraska out of a bowl game, which now, this was a stat I saw, and I haven't checked to see.

I assume it's true because somebody put it on television. Nebraska has the longest active bowl drought of any Power 5 team There are a lot of Power 5 teams that you don't think about like oh they go to bowls a lot Yeah well yeah Indiana's been to one Kansas has been to one you know Like Vanderbilt went to a bowl game more recently than Nebraska Rutgers kind of goes all the time these days yeah it's just easy work light work for Rutgers who got fucking killed by Marilyn Bullitt got annihilated Mike Loxley was like

Yo, that guy over there He looks real drunk And there's a lot of cash in his pockets Let's go talk to him See how this goes When you stagger into November Maryland's house And they're hungry

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C Store for details. Oh, hi, or excuse me, Iowa, Iowa, Michigan. Someone said the early line is looking like 21. so i guess you're calling for 21 zero is that the is that the plan this is going to be the two tribes meeting and going we will decide this game by headbut you send your strongest skull you also send your strongest call we meet here at the boulder and together we will butt heads until one of them dies did you see brian ferrance by the way in a logoless gear oh you mean like when you start a grand theft auto game you can't afford anything yet yeah his little protest against Iowa being like no man I'm calling this game for me Brian Farrens no no no caution I'm throwing that all to the wind could call the same bullshit I've been calling all year in my final game ever calling play I choose to believe he got banned from the student wash facility and it's just like wearing whatever's clean he's already

out of the office they're like yeah his key card doesn't even work I don't know he got that weeks ago yeah I mean are we sure it's a protest on his part was this kind of thing where they're like please please don't let him wear our logo anymore i'm not dark brian that's why i wear the black dying uh Iowa you're beautiful you've won 10 games no one really understands how perfect uh you're gonna win your bowl game i don't give a fuck who you play you're gonna beat them in the bowl game yeah do it you're just awesome i hope the big 10 west i hope they change their minds and keep it it sucks so bad i hope we just keep records for the big 10 West, even though there isn't a Big Ten West?

Like, we just compare them all an anointed champion at the end of every season. Like, we should do with the coastal. Like, it's the same shit. UCLA goes in the Big Ten West. Oregon and Washington, you go in the East. USC, you're pretty bad, so you go in the Big Ten West. Okay? That's how we're doing it.

Here is a cruel thing I have just discovered, looking at the standings. So I will obviously had this, like, very public point total thing they had to hit for Brian Farron's point average, but point total works out the same way. for Brian Farrants to keep his job. Didn't come close, would need doing some quick muff, 109 points in the Big Ten championship in their bowl game combined. They'd leave like six more games to do. I believe in them.

Oh, yeah, I haven't updated the math, but going into this game, I looked at what their average was. And if they played a 17-game NFL season, they would still have fallen just short of the total number of points. Maybe the greatest football team ever. I'm entertaining. Here's what really is brutal about being a Nebraska horn husker fan. Iowa, Big Ten West champion, 10 game winner, 216 points scored on the year.

Every other team in the Big Ten West, including Minnesota, who lost the axe today, including Illinois, who missed out on a bowl game, including Purdue, who didn't have a great year. all of them have far more than 216 points except Nebraska, who has exactly 216 points scored in games this season. They are exactly the same as Iowa, except with all the wins. Half is winning. Oh, God, they are perfect in their own little way. Can I talk about Kentucky Louisville?

What if we said no? No, seriously. that was the game of the day until the Iron Bowl. Yeah. It was, no, it whipped. This game was awesome. Yeah, Flourries the points back and forth at one point. Louisville scores two straight touchdowns, goes up 2414.

You think, oh, man, Louisville might be pulling away here. Ah, ah, Kentucky. It goes two passes, scores. They go back and forth. There's a couple of turnovers. But the thing that really made this game, besides a 38, 31 win for Kentucky, possibly the last in the Mark Stoops era, is this. Every time I looked over, Kentucky was

motherfucking putting those L's down as hard as humanly possible. Like, they would rush for negative two yards on a play, pop up, L's down, L's down, L's down. A Kentucky player put L's down in the face of Jack Harlow. Really? Yeah, went over to him on the sideline. It was like, El's down, bitch! Do you think that's what won A&M's eye?

That may have been it. They're like, that's a lot like Hornsdown. god get him on the horn call it like the deal was the deal was done on the sideline like they just texted mark stoop's like you up and he's like i'm out hey do you think you can do that with one more finger oh not the first time i've heard that request uh but yeah it was so good because i really think the thing that won that game uh for kentucky was hating the other team more They were so absolutely jacked to just beat the shit out of Louisville on even the smallest of place. An absolute delight. People in the stands, they love doing this shit whenever Louisville's like, wow, what a fun, good season for Louisville.

It's like, what have we crapped in your house? Yeah, top 10 Louisville against Kentucky is, are they 0 in 3 this millennium? Something like that. That might be right. Something like that. Just Louisville buys a new car, puts it in the driveway, and Kentucky's like, I'm about to key the shit out of that. Why? I didn't do anything to you. It's funny. That's why.

I mean, again, like, are you not hearing A&M all throughout this? Because your basketball team sucks. That's why? Since when has that mattered? Fuck you. I decide when it matters. Just, I absolutely love the enthusiasm of the hatred there. Just absolute spite in all directions. If that is the way that Mark Stoop's Kentucky, ucky era and man what a fitting perfect finale to the trademark that he instilled in that team which is fuck everyone they're a great fuck everyone team i mean the drives in the fourth quarter of this game ended with a 46-yard field goal a fumble a very a very stupid fumble uh a touchdown

turnover on downs an interception a touchdown a touchdown a touchdown a interception. Yeah, it was chaos. Like, yeah, there was a lot, a lot happened here. There was a lot happening. And after all of it, good or bad, a Kentucky player popped up and was like, hell's down, bitch!

Small baby, hells down! In your face. It was, oh, it was a delight. Everything that a rivalry game should be. So, so, so Louisville has not won this game since 2017. God. sorry and they I'm sorry

this is on their website so I'm allowed to say it they haven't won this game at home since it was still called Papa John's Cardinal Stadium wow yeah

yikes Scott Satterfield wasn't it man I know Brom lost this game but goddamn dude I don't I know I think this is more about you got to like the future for Louisville overall yes oh yeah

no this is like this is get one while the getting's good I'm sorry Local news here just showed the Auburn passed again, and it's just, it's funnier every time. It's absolutely funnier every time. Because it happened to Hugh Fries. It did happen to Hugh Fries. It did happen to Hugh Fries right when he had, like, I'll show all of them who made fun of me after New Mexico State beat the shit out of us.

Do you know how long it's going to take him to get down to our tweets before he calls Godfrey? Yeah. That's a really good point. That's so much to wade through. The search column is so full. I want that DM. I want that like, why do you wish things, bad things? I'm praying for you.

He still legit thinks Godfrey is my boss, which is very funny to me. Because every time I tweet about Hugh, he texts Godfrey. Why would you wish bad things on someone I don't know? Have you seen you? Brush a, brush a bitch. Yeah. Did anyone watch Apple Cup? Yeah, a good bit of it.

I only saw the end, which was bizarre. like bittersweet I guess because like oh what a cool season for Washington but also like ugh I hate that you know Washington state that their time in the PAC 12 ends like this and they're not going bowling and you know one of the team that abandoned them in this conference that they're not able to to complete the upset but you know great for Washington the final minute was bizarre Washington had the ball in the red zone only needed a field goal to win and they're chucking it

into the end zone and Michael Penning's almost thrown picks nearly through two and should have thrown two interceptions um at least one one one would have been a tough catch but one should have been picked off and like it was very confusing because they weren't

just like running to set up the game winning field goal they were instead so so their kicker the story there is that their kicker who I think got a scholarship after this game been inconsistent let's say yeah over the last over the last month or so like he was the the field goal he made in this game was let's see he he went one of two in this game he

missed a kick against Oregon State in a two point in a game that ended up being a two point game he missed from he missed a makeable kick against Utah like he just hasn't been super reliable for them so i think this is accusing me of showing me too much trust in college kickers he hit the game winner so clearly he did hit the correct so you were correct yeah 100% yeah um he is 10 of 13 on the year it's not bad which is fine there was a there was a there was a wild fourth in one conversion on a play where they pitched to like the receiver running an end around off of a fake dive they they ran that from like their own 28 and according to kill and According to Kael and DeBoer, that play, that is a true option.

It was not predetermined. Pennix made that read. And that was, in other words, yeah, it looked insane. That was also a designed play. That's all part of the plan. All part of the plan. A design play that could have gone up the middle, but Pennix on the fly decided, nah, we're going to do the whole other thing.

We're going to do the even weirder looking thing, even bolder, more aggressive thing. I will say the wazoo defense played with their hair on fire. Like, they played a great game. They made so many good stops against this Washington team and, like, really kept the, kept the coogs in it for a long time. Yeah, like, I don't know. I'm not necessarily, I wasn't necessarily rooting for one thing or the other to happen, but it was a bummer to see Washington State play this well.

after a very up and down season and not be able to pull it out at the end. Even though it's fine for Washington and the Pac-12 championship game is going to be really entertained. Yeah. Maybe it's a bummer because I'm not sure Washington even needed this game.

If you beat Oregon twice, you're probably in anyway. So maybe we could have spread the good feelings. But at the same time, like, let's not invite, like, the playoff committee to chew on that. They're going to have a, they're probably going to have a situation regardless,

but yeah yeah the washington is just a wild team the resume just based on who they've beaten is awesome the resume based on how they look is a perilous fraught entertaining sure absolutely very good team certainly if they if they beat oregon put them in obviously no doubt about it um but just a chaotic frantic playing to the level of their opponent team every week yeah there's a comment are suggesting the civil war and apple cup are all done after this year they're not uh apple cup is getting played the other one i don't i don't think there's been a decision on that but i know apple cup got extended and the other one that they're talking about this is wishy watch but yeah sorry go ahead no no no you're good oh you know no you hang out oh it's a polite off all right i'll do mine

quickly um you and jacksonville state gets go bowling even though the ncelsa has all their nonsense rules because there won't be enough six and six teams or six win teams credit to breck mcgriffy for that that's it go ahead holly oh my thing was about the apple cup so we'd move on yeah by the way live action currently rocketing to bowl eligibility that's the cow bears baby 20 to 7 over for UCLA, Cal's currently at 5 and 6, and for reasons and through mechanisms that God of any dimension cannot understand they are leading UCLA 20 to 7. I was called this morning in the Channel 6 chat, by the way. Of course, because we are, we are a pro bears podcast, even if it defies reason.

Colorado State also, at least as of now, up 10-7, they need on Hawaii. They need one more when to get bowl eligible. It was kind of a mixed bag for teams no it wasn't mixed it was just a bad week for teams who needed to get one more game one more win washington state lost florida lost um good i just scrolled i know nebraska um Nebraska lost uh b yu lost south carolina lost south carolina lost 16 7 they gave them they really hung in they really hung in the first half and i mean hung in the second in a half too, but I think they cleared a style on the broadcast that said

Dabo was something like 34 and 1 when leading at the half or 36 and 4, something insane like that. You better buy stock in Clemson because we're barely beating the South Carolina team that can't defend us to freeze. What just happened?

I had to burst into Dabo. Meanwhile, UCF, nice, we love it. UCF, NIA, Rice, Syracuse, O.D.U. We had some bowl eligibles come in today, Louisiana. Virginia Tech, blowing out Virginia, and then taking a picture on the field. And then the sprinklers went off, which I, you know, that's possibly scheduled to just happen. Like, Virginia seems very fussy about their grass.

It must be watered at this time. Or someone said, get those assholes off our field. I don't know. Either way, it's a great photo. I mean, it's funnier if somebody pressed the button, right? I think it's funnier if it was just scheduled because, like, I mean, it's Virginia, do they really care? Why would you expect anyone to be on the field? Yeah, it's Virginia.

Oh, see, the Mountain West thing. We don't know who's going to be in the Mountain West Championship. It's all down to the computers, baby. The BCS is so fucking back. San Jose State, UNLV, and Boise State are six and two, and it'll come down to some mysterious combination of computers to determine which two of them go to the conference title game. we got to bring back divisions.

Fuck this shit. Like one year without divisions. And I'm like, no, no, we need some order and stability. Yes, bring back the ACC Coastal and the Big Ten West and all of it. We're going back to divisions. I was going to say the Big 12, like somebody at the Big 12 had written out like 3,800 words about like how the tightbreaker broke down. And then Oklahoma State came back and won. And it was just like, oh, it's just Texas Oklahoma State.

That's it. Yeah, as simple as possible. So the Mountain West is using Anderson and Hester, Collie, Massey, and Wolf for. BCS computers to determine their conference championship. I think that we should just ignore all math and crown Iowa State champions of the Big 12 because the most Big 12 game is Farmageddon and they won it tonight. You know it's not the conference we're talking about, right? I thought you were talking about the Big 12.

We talked about both, sort of. Yeah. Compromise. So Spencer can feel better. Iowa State Mountain West champion. Mountain West champion. Okay, I'm in on that. Oh, those gorgeous mountains.

of Iowa. When the cyclones come rolling down the mountains. That Iowa skyline. Go ski Iowa.

You can't actually ski Iowa. It's like a hill. It's just walking. Yeah. Shred that Iowa gnar. Arizona,

9 and 3 beating the fuck out of Arizona State, 59, 23. Top 15, Arizona. And it wasn't, it wasn't as

close as it makes it sound fair. Like that game was like 50 to 7 and then I think Arizona was like yeah we're done we're good so if A&M hired jed fish would they be excited about that would that be more exciting than Mark stoops would that be exciting enough? He plays tennis it will be suspicious of him oh okay yeah seems fishy yeah but but does he play tennis and like I do cocaine way wait can you even play tennis outside at college station you're just going to bake to the pavement that's good point no that's that's seasoning that's how we heat our

coach to perfection oh they're going to they're going to clay fire him. Yeah, that's our, that's clay-fired excellence. R.C. Slocum was nothing before we clay-fired him. Then he started running in all his games. He was Richard C. Slocum, and then, you know, we clay-fired him and he became R.C. Kahn won the Cumb Bowl. Scroll through scores.

Syracuse, that was on the CW game, by the way. 35-31 Classic against Wake Forest, which bowl eligibility was obtained. Again, another banger on the CW. they pretty much every single game they broadcast this season absolutely perfect if you wanted the national title game to matter you would put it on the cw because if you wanted anyone to watch it yeah if you wanted anyone to watch it you put it on the c w so jonathan smith is leaving oregon state to take the michigan state job how many yards do you think michigan state put up in a 42 to zero loss to penn state 11 you are not as ridiculously far off as you might

think the answer is 53 what on one big play or or one quarter or what uh they they got 53 53 yards on 47 uh plays run and looking at let's see they had a 12 yard all right they had two big pass plays there's a 30 yard pass and a 29 yard pass which means if you take away their two biggest plays of the night. Michigan State finished with negative yards of offense. Penn State, meanwhile, had 586. They wanted that junk. Penn State's so bad that they can't be good against Ohio State Michigan,

and they love taking it out on other teams, like the Sheck is out. The shittiest teams they get. Again, there's just Maryland and Penn State wandering the gutters of the Big Ten going, who's got money? You look like you have money. You're real drunk. Desperate? Like, yeah, we're the second-tier teams.

You don't want to fuck with us if you're not that good. I'm the meanest middle boss in Punch-Out. I'm the first form of the boss. I'm kind of racist. It's Soda Poppinski. It's the tiger, the tiger guy who could spin. Yes. That guy's really, that guy's way too hard to be a middle boss.

Yeah. But also, he's not. yeah uh northwestern seven and five the year that i completely wrote this team off considering how horrible they were last year and then uh having a coaching change unplanned coaching change seven and five confirming once and for all beyond any doubt pat fitzgerald was wildly overrated based on you know having a few okay seasons against one of the easiest schedule runs in north Western history. Jason, are you saying what we learned is that coaching Northwestern is easy. Coaching Northwestern is nowhere near as hard as Pat Fitzgerald made it look.

He was kind of a hardo. Yeah. Like, I believe that he, I believe that he was like, I want the 115th ranked offense because that'll prove that we're tough. Yeah. It's like, what if we were, what if we were just kind of good on offense? Like, no. No. No, no, no. I want us to have a hard time taking a poop. I want adversity. So I'm eating, I'm eating. way too much fiber, you know, you eat a little bit of fiber and it helps you stay regularly, way too much and it locks you up. I'm going to eat nothing but fiber. I want you to put it in the water supply. You don't want water? No.

I want water in the fiber supply. And then I'm going to eat lots of protein bars too because those also lock you up. I also apologize to whoever sent this and I can't credit you. But whoever you are, you're very smart and I appreciate you. Excellent journalism there by Ryan. Oklahoma beat TCU 6945. and the score in every quarter, the total of that score was higher

than the overall total of Iowa and Nebraska. And these games are at the same time. Yes, yes. These are the same sport. So do good. There was a fight in Missouri, Arkansas, so I guess maybe we're like one of 50 steps toward making that an actual rivalry worthy of this weekend.

We need to work on the football. Yeah, we need to work on the football part. It wasn't the three fights that happened in Tennessee. Holly, Holly, please explain why there were three fights in Tennessee vandy, a game that was not close. Like, why were there three fights? Because it's rivalry week. And this game instills a particular form of dread because we should never lose to these cake eaters.

And sometimes we do. And there, it was what started. first of all, SEC refs, which have been terrible omnidirectionally all season. I'm not putting it. All teams have gotten bad calls.

That said, when it happens in your direction, it's very funny. There was just a blatant no call on a late hit on Vandy's quarterback that I didn't think it was all that bad. Clark Lee kicked things off himself

by hollering with the refs, until the get-back guy pulling Clark Lee back to the sidelines, by the way, was not an assistant coach. It was a Vanderbilt police officer. Or at least it was someone dressed in items of clothing that said Vanderbilt Police Department. So Clark teed off on the ruffs.

Who were terrible and had been terrible all season. And this crew is, listen, West Rucker nailed it earlier this week when it was announced that this particular crew was going to be in charge of this game West has something to the effect of the league chose violence and boy was that prescient because on the very next play and the subsequent two plays after that there was so much extracurricular hitting and chippiness

on and on the second play I think the second one was my favorite. It was like a fight in three acts because there were bench clearing brawls on three consecutive plays is what I'm trying to get to. The second one was my favorite because I don't even think the Tennessee sideline knew what happened on the second play.

You just see Vandy's entire bench come charging across the sideline. And there is no Tennessee player even out as far as the numbers. And you can cut it close and you can see the offensive line who were in once again a brand new configuration this week.

I think they said we've had nine different starters on O-line this year. And you can see them kind of hanging back like we are too old. for this shit like what is happening we can't be more hurt than we are right now it was it was it was very much that attitude from the sideline was very much like hey you ain't got to be like that they got to hype at one point he's just kind of standing there and twirling his thumbs but my favorite part the next time a bad no call happens and the players charge the field again

Clark Lee instead of going to get his players off the field goes running straight to the refs Like, turns he only goes running straight to teacher. I have no respect for you. And I hope your bus ride home is really, really long. You enormous bitch. It was, it was, it's a very, very, very stupid game. And I, it's an attitude that I love. Like, if we are not going to beat Florida again in my lifetime,

it appears that we are not, I wish we'd just start slinging helmets at them. At one point, they cut to a group of either walk-ons or recruits. They were wearing like Tennessee brand of the street clothes on the sideline. And they're just openly pointing and laughing like it was a sightseeing expedition. Oh, also the new Smokie tried to bite the drum major. And I think almost bit a ref. Anyway, it was a beautiful, it was a beautiful, beautiful end of the season at Neeland.

It was, it was Tennessee Fandy. that's a busy game yeah going on for a blowout that all took place in like the third quarter by the way like no no no it was the second quarter they weren't even down that bad they were down like 24 to 12 or something and they were already this bad and to be clear it was a no call that should have been called on tennessee that set this off but that crew that crew wasn't calling shit all game at one point they called

they called like offsetting fouls for multiple Vandy players and one Tennessee player, which I didn't know was the thing you could do. Did they wait? Is it just one equals one no matter how many you add to the one? I don't know, but it's the math made everyone in the stands mad. That is true, though. Like, as long as you, as long as you have one on each side, it's offsetting.

Yeah. I love this. You remember a couple years ago, we were like, you know, the ACC refs, they have their own personality and it's bad. the pack 12 wraps of their own personality is bad Big 10 wraps of their own personality is bad and we're like man the FCC rest we just kind of know who they are since that last batch retired this entire new batch is

cheeks they need to go all of them need to go like we got we got the we got the okayer end of the end of the reffing stick today but that hasn't been the case all season and they had no control over this game and no desire to execute it it was fucking stupid were any of the calls as outrageous as the one on a kickoff or one on a play in alabama auburn where an auburn player was face masked as hard as i've ever seen anyone face masked this is what i'm talking about this entire this

entire like new class of SEC refs has no they don't have it they're i don't know if they're afraid of mean tweets or what but they got it they got a nut up The call went to a block in the back on Auburn. Yeah, yeah, the Iron Bowl, everybody who's chiming in saying the Iron Bowl refs were trashed, the Iron Bowl reps were also trash. Like, ooh, there was, Tennessee had my personal least favorite crew, but I don't, I don't know what the penalty was, and I don't know what, I have no context for it at all. All I know is that at one point, Bud was tweeting that, um, Mike Norvell should punch a rep

in the Florida game. And no one would blame it for it. And I was like, Jesus Christ, what's going on? He was saying this with photos of Norville talking to that ref. Close talking to him, yeah. Like, like, you could picture Bud pointing at the photos, like, I'd swing right here. I'd hit him right in the nuts. Give me the telstrader.

I forgot this. Real quick, both Matt Jones and Texags are reporting stoops is staying at Kentucky. Ah! Oh, no. Good. Yeah, good for him. Yeah. stay where if you go eight and four you're a god yes yeah i said this earlier but i that would be

just about the worst example of quality of life plummet that i think we've ever seen yes in our time covering the sport we've we've said for like a decade that he has one of the best jobs in the sport because he doesn't have to win a whole lot hey you know it's going to be great you do have to win a whole lot like you already have generational wealth and like at one point you're like, okay, does it matter if my great grandchildren or my great-grandchildren three times removed have rats anyway? Yeah, those kids need to get a

fucking job. And they live on a burnt out earth, so whatever. Money's no good there. You know what? Marks took this job because of climate change, Ryan. You're absolutely right. Stay north. You know what's going to be fun? Being the Texas A&M coach that everyone knows wasn't the first

choice. What a cool existence that's going to be. I think they got to go get, I think they got to go get Mike Stoops. Yeah. Oh my God. And I, we all know how I feel about Mark Stoops the job he's done there.

But being the Texas A&M coach, who was the second choice to the second most famous Stoops brother. So this is when coaching searches get really fun. Yeah. Once everyone knows you're moving down the list. Especially, especially because agents know this. And agents, oh, once blood is in the water, fuck me.

Like, they're going to be like, Mario Cristobal is very excited about the supper. Ryan Day is still available. That's right. In the first round, Ryan Day is still available. In the green room. In the green room sitting there going, I can't believe you guys don't say that about me.

I'm so masculine. I don't believe you called me available. Yeah, yeah. Can I take you back to October 15th when a certain team beat Miami 41, 31, and I thought for a second, you know, every year I'm like, has teams bullshit and they beat miami and i thought i don't know there's six no maybe i'll pay

attention yeah today uncc lost to nc state 39 20 yep finishing eight and four on the season got fucking trucked got abs got just don't yeah got a donkey dropped on him like you like people are very p nc state fans are to varying degrees cranky with uh dave doran because he can't quite get over the hump at unc which just that sentence is fucking insane but he absolutely owns unc at this point he is whooping their ass this is the third straight time nc state has won this game and where the last two were like oh this is a close back and forth and up you know some some shenanigans had to happen this one was just stomping on their face go tell Steve Smith about that yeah never never ever believe in UNC it's always fake it's always yeah I'm

totally on board like I've come around to several extremely cliched view this year yes buddies next year because this keeps happening you know you know who can't win the get the big hit it's UNC yeah like who can't get the big hit UNC you know who doesn't have that dog on them Ryan Day I'm 100% converted to both of these cliches it's it's especially galling because like you have other examples of schools who like iowa state and oklahoma state both looked fucking dead in the water after a month and oklahoma state is going to the big 12 championship game and iowa state went seven and five in a very rough year where like a bunch of starters missed the season because they were suspended for gambling like i forgot it dude i fucking forgot about that

that's how much has happened there are that hit iowa as well yes in addition to i like for all our jokes about they did have a zillion injuries plus a gambling they're on their like fifth tight end which is one of the most important spots on the team i was going to say that's the one they need yeah yeah they only have 17 on the roster so like there there are just so many examples of teams that can get better as the year goes on and can't figure it out and like man unc this just uh fucking gross yeah they're they're they're they're they're fake you should feel bad yeah because you're fake Yeah. And NC State, by the way, remember? Jokes on, jokes on you. You know, ha ha, you go eight and four. Nine and three, baby. Nine and three. That's right. Look who's laughing now. It's you. Not us. We are, too, because, but we're laughing with you, you because you're winners.

Everyone's awesome winners. You're four and oh on the CW or whatever. Four. Oh, is that right? Or is it three and no? I can't remember. I think it's three and no. We're calling you five and oh. Ten and no. Ten and no. Nine wins on the season. Nine and oh. And also, yes, as many commenters have noted us, C. CM Punk is back in the WWE. It'll be fine this time. See if that's still the case by the morning. Yes. See what happened first. The Mountain West figuring out its title game participants

or CM Punk getting in a fight with like the son of a 90210 actor and getting fired. Spencer, can I ask you a question that's going to make you uncomfortable? Sure, buddy. You don't have to get into specifics. know what your Heisman ballot is going to look like as of as of right now um i do okay wow okay like the the whole thing or or just the number one uh i know the three you get three i know the three i am pretty certain on the order but like i haven't i haven't locked in one two three i know the

three though okay does this feel like the um either the hardest call in your tenure or uh or the one with like the most uh potential right answers um it is the one with the most potential right answers but remember you have to pick the most outstanding player yeah right that that's what you have to pick you have to pick the one that sticks out uh like that means the tallest right yes that's that's my understanding of the definition of the term you know um it could also mean physically striking you know so you could pick the most handsome one sam hartman wins the heisman right you know i can't talk about this folks just look at him how's he going to age though how's he going to age is he going to look like Ryan Day if he keep if he no no go find me a picture of

27 year old Ryan Day I guarantee you that's not what he looked like I'm just scared because Matt Linerd has aged so poorly Sam Hartman tonight in in Notre Dame's win against Stanford eight of 14 just like Notre Dame's desire to just be like ah fuck passing passing is boring we're just going to just to run the ball 48 times a thing that they did each at stanford that's exactly um yeah that's this is this is i think like a pretty i think it's a satisfying year for notary day they're pretty happy with it if you if you had that can't be right yeah you think nine and three is satisfying yeah yeah i do for now i think maybe not at all no no they finally had for once like the quarterback

had the quarterback they have a kick ass running back they had what appeared to be a like legit defense they had ohio state on the ropes look at where they were after that week one when they just destroyed navy and it was like wow the table is set right yes they were thinking playoff non embarrassment was the goal at that point i think the one that the one that might stick of their craw there like losing to ohio state they lost that one in heartbreaking fashion right it's louisville it's the louisville it's louisville's the what the fuck one where you go you've still got some reservations about the freeman regime that might be it but the other two like i don't know you and you lost a clemson which in any other year would be totally acceptable

yeah i don't know it's it's it's not a pull the emergency flip the emergency switch like everything's going up in flames but this is definitely no i think like I have a hard time saying, like, yeah, this is like a great season for Notre Dame. It's just, it's fine. I think also maybe Sam Hartman's handsomeness as may be distorted or clouded our judgment on him because, you know. No, it's not that. He wasn't. It's that it's that so many Notre Dame quarterbacks have been bucking trash.

I'm not saying like, oh my God, Sam Hartman was one of the five best quarterbacks in college football. I'm saying that for Notre Dame, he was an amazing. amazing improvement over what they have like ian book is the best quarterback you can think of in recent notary memory and a fine quarterback i i know i know sam hartman was a goddamn lot better than ian fucking tommy rase baby listen tommy reese dialed up at the perfect play call on 431 oh yeah who's laughing now did you see that smoke did you see how intentional that was Tommy Reese's fingerprints were all over that throw. As soon as that ball was in the air, I said, there's only one man who could have made that throw, but now there's two.

This is a lot like when like you see an AD come up after like the boosters have fired the coach. And the AD is like, well, it was a very hard decision, but we felt like we had to make it. That's every coach right after that Bama game in the offensive booth. Like, yeah, great, great job, Tommy. that was fucking off. Great call. Jaylon Milrow is like whipping out 19 yards, scrambles out of his ass with no protection. And they're like, Tommy Reese, great call, dialed up a bute there. Beautifully scripted.

That is my hope. Like, there is, by the way, one thing we really haven't talked about, what the hell does the playoff do with Florida State? Because, like, I mean, if they win, they should let them in. I agree. Like, I fully agree. So we're assuming, like, You've got to give the full scenario here.

Are you saying undefeated Washington, undefeated Michigan, and undefeated Georgia are your other three, I assume. Yeah, yeah. Because if you're going to make it more tricky than that, I think anything beyond that is like, yeah, you'd have to let Florida State. So it comes down to 13 and O FSU with a backup quarterback who in this scenario has just beaten Louisville, who, yeah, okay, things are that. But there's still a top 20 team. yeah um or a texas that has a win over bama in the back pocket those are your choices a 12 and 1 texas and and will have beaten also a like perfectly respectful oklahoma state team yeah but with a loss so it's it's do you do you view a loss and a backup quarterback as

equal resume um ruiners and like i mean i the committee has had this thing this stipulation since its formation that they can play the oh there were injuries and this team is no longer as good card they've never done that famously in 2014 they look at ohio state and they say this team is still winning this team is going through um and if fs uvill then what case would there be for determining that this is no longer a team that is 13 and oh i i think like the bigger picture way to look at it is that I think a lot of the discussion of what do you do with Florida State

is predicated on the idea of Florida State in this iteration with backup, with Tate Rotemaker as quarterback, is not going to win a playoff game. They're not going to get out of the first round. You're worried about wasting a playoff spot. The playoff has put tons of teams, like that Michigan State team

that beat Iowa in the Big Ten championship, like nobody was like, oh, they're going to make some noise. Washington the first time they made the playoff like this just happens and I don't think it's I don't think it's that weird

it's a problem is four is a bizarre number two made a lot of sense 16 makes sense 12 makes sense 8 makes sense 4 is bizarre 12 will at least be easy

to when you have a situation like this be like well obviously they're going in it just yeah 12 is great because at that point it's like should this team be in who gives us shit we got plenty of room that's right that's that's the my four is bizarre the the last call category of the 12 team lineup where it's like well should we let him in you're like it's a fucking 11 seed sure yeah 12's a real catholic 12's a real catholic

birth control approach to the playoff where it's like ah who cares let's have two more kids at the margin they're a little sloppy so we're going for four we're saying all of these teams are top tier. That is almost never the case. This year, it very well might be, depending on it. It's closer. It's closer to the case, sir. It would have been if Jordan Travis was healthy. Let's put it that way. This year, we're, you know, and you could argue if Texas is a better team than FSU, we do have four top tier teams. You could argue that. But in the average year, we just simply don't, and the fourth spot is just there. So, this is the funnest committee puzzle they've had in the 10 years of this thing, the first time it's setting up to be an actual hard

call. There have been years where it's like, oh, should this flawed Ohio State or this flawed Alabama go in and the right choice was made every single time. This is the first year where there's a really good chance we're going to have like an actually valid debate, not just a debate where, you know, TCU fans have feelings because Ohio State went in after winning 59 to nothing or whatever. We're an actually valid debate. For what it's worth, I do think it will, be as interesting of a debate if either Oregon or Alabama win their conference championship game. We're going to have a mess. Yeah. In that situation, yeah, we'll have a mess. Like those are the two situations. I think those are the much trickier calls than what do you do

with Florida State if they win. Yeah, yeah. I mean, if it becomes so messy that we're down to like 12 in one Washington and 12 and 1 Georgia and 11 and one Ohio State and you know, all of that going on, then okay have fun especially because like I think I think a thing people may not realize is that all of our intrinsic biases about like which conferences are strong and whose schedules are strong and who's got like the best resume or whatever like analytically they do not play out the way the way that most of the that your brain is accustomed to them thinking that they they they would have in past years like if yeah but all right so for for instance by the way and this is a way of covering a game that we really haven't touched too much on um Oregon mm-hmm Oregon's gonna have a

loss and there's good on their resume yeah sure and a loss that they can avenge but a loss all the same and a close loss and a road loss but yeah a loss and a loss that was worse a loss that i feel like was the product of bravery not cowardice you know like you're like why did you lose that game you're like because we were too awesome yeah yeah and i mean um if you're already six and you beat the only team that beat you and that team's five right i mean it sounds like four to me it sounds like you're in you're in i would hope or no Oregon is organ is sitting pretty Oregon is favored to make a place i hope so but this is mainly just like at like anxiety worrying about out loud about this team that is, as Jason is fond of calling them, a football-ass football team,

like a bad ass, ass-beating boots, boot in your ass, like ass, ass-ass kind of team. Yeah, and I shouldn't say Washington is four because Ohio State just lost. So, yeah, this is, this is quite, this should be five or six beating number three in the Pactual title game is what that would be. I have a hard time dealing with Texas because I'm like, Like, I think they probably have, Texas is non-conference. Like, Alabama is obviously the big signature. The other two teams that they beat were Rice and Wyoming. Rice made a bowl game.

Like, it's still Rice, whatever. Wyoming's a legit team. And, like, the rest of the Big 12 was much more competitive this year than it was in years past. If they beat Oklahoma State, that's a team they didn't play in the regular season. So it just adds, like, it will only add to their resume. it won't sort of like duplicate it in some way um and like the oklahoma game has all the hallmarks of like things when how you want a loss to usually go it's like a quote unquote good loss early enough in the year that you have some time to come back from it like whatever whatever i know

texas has looked inconsistent in a lot of these wins and has made them diceier than they should be but like weirdly from a very neutral just numbersy perspective It's like Texas probably should be in better position than they will end up being in. Like I think Texas needs help and maybe shouldn't need as much help as they actually will. I think the one thing I want to see Texas in for is I just want to see a team in a playoff situation have to deal with Texas putting Devandre sweat in front of everybody. They have one of the things that makes a game completely off the board, like takes it off of predictions for me, which in terms of what I think the other team's offense is capable of. because they have like a 900-pound dude who can throw other human beings in the middle of that defensive line. And then they have like two nasty dudes next to him.

It's that kind of like absolute scheme-wrecking shit. I would love to see that in a playoff where you go, well, the offense should be able to do this. But currently they're under a guy. He fell on them like a tree. Like, yeah. I don't know. I think it's maybe the most interesting conference championship weekend. we have faced because almost usually we get to conference championship weekend and it's like well

if the following things happen things will be tricky but i think almost all roads result in some amount of trickiness like i don't think there i really don't think there's an outcome where you can say if it goes this way it's easy and it's known and it's not tricky at all actually i i just don't see it shaking so i think right now so the pack 12 winners and um Michigan, I think Michigan is in, regardless of what happens, unless they just look like, you know, if they somehow get, if they somehow get blown out by Iowa, pause for laugh track, then we could have a discussion, but I think Michigan has clinched a spot already, which has happened in the past. This is, you know, I'm not inventing a scenario. Just once, though, right? There have been years when Oklahoma has clinched without a confidential game at all. Sure, yeah, but sorry, I meant, I meant specifically the, example of losing a conference championship game oh oh oh oh TCU did last year yeah right and there have been plenty of years where like the SEC favorite entered and was didn't even need to win the

SEC title game to make the playoff yeah um yeah everything else is is is bubbly uh you know as always it's what we have one or two SEC teams I mean I still think there it would be very fun to see Bama win but not able to pass Texas a team to which they lost decisively at home. So, like, if you had Oregon, Michigan, Texas, you know, if you had 13 and no FSU, how could you drop 13 and O FSU behind Bama, right? Or behind Texas, excuse me, right? It would be very, very fun to hear the argument that Bama should pass Texas, a team to which they lost decisively. And granted, beating number one Georgia might be the argument that gets it done. So I do have a plan by the way it seems improbable just given how composed together and completely infallible

georgia has been to this point but i have a plan for alabama to beat them it's very simple you see what you need is you need to get that defense into a situation like fourth and 31 i think that's ideally where alabama needs georgia to be they need they need a fourth and 31 that's what jaylor Tom just needs room to create. Like, he needs a big canvas, you know? He's a big artist. Would second and 26 get it done? That would also get it done.

I have data on that if you need it. How about third and 20? Either way, should it be like sort of toward the left, like, back corner of the end zone, just on chucking it after the quarterback has made a horrible decision to get into that, that distance? This is where we go, man, Jaylon Milrow is fucking awesome. It sure is. Jalen Milro

in terms of the entertainment he is provided by I think I am now prepared to move him past Blake Sims in the beloved Alabama quarterback Pantheon. I know. That's a crowd.

That's a lofty company, but I'm moving in past Blake Sims because Jalen Milrow not only was part of 4th and 31 tonight, like Ryan said, that 3rd and 20 call, I can get you 19.

I can 100% guarantee you I can get you 19. like I I I love that he manages to break contain improv plays and Nick Saban is sitting there watching it going I don't have that much more time left on this earth I got to watch this shit I got I got no control I got on first I get a list of mad dog about this oh god damn I have zero control over what's happening right now it's absolutely I'm learning to let go I'm learning uh I'm learning Hey, hey, real quick, this comment from Stick to Sporks, I actually felt bad for Auburn today. Do you know where their head coach is? No, don't do that.

No, don't do that. No, don't, no, that's a trap. That's right. Number one, Auburn's head coach is why you shouldn't feel bad about this. Number two, Auburn has done this to other teams, including Alabama, four years. It's fine. They're about this life. Like, nobody, nobody is more lived by the sword.

die by the sword then auburn's like i woke up and i had two swords in my hand let's go yeah this is a this is a peeky blinder scene where it's like how you're gonna kill me all right for old time's sake mind if i have a smoke no go ahead and shoot him holly he did a british voice live by the sword died by the sword met your wife at the sword selling store at the mall yeah this is this is what they're here for okay don't be like oh i feel so bad for the dragon but you're fundamentally complaining that auburn got auburn yeah yeah yeah Yeah. No. This is, this is the perfect way to go. It is truly how they would have wanted to go. They lived. They died as they lived. Stupid and loud. Stupid, stupid, loud and against the math. That's it. And just in spite of all math. Fourth and 31. So many. So the stat I saw Matt Scalesey share was quite possibly the two longest fourth down conversions ever were both.

Hugh Free's defenses on the famous fourth and 25 and then tonight it feels like there's probably been longer ones but at least at the Power 5 level it's hard to find certainly these are important ones

and certainly in big games that everyone saw yeah well the Lord works to mysterious ways Jason he sure as fuck does not for Iowa there's no mystery in Iowa Jesus is very strange forward oh yeah that's just kirk kirk ferrance sitting in his little weird film

room with somebody bound in the chair going don't you see it i would jesus is very simple you pray to iowa jesus and i oh go away no i don't got it maybe you should work a little harder should work harder and then you should go to bed going to bed is punting is good for you should do it now everyone says the bible says god helps those or helps itself but the bible doesn't really say that well iowa jesus says that So go help yourself. Man, Auburners had the most volatile two weeks in the sport. They lost a fucking New Mexico state, got hammered by them.

And then that happened. Everything that happened today happened. I'm just glad they were able to have a few get-right quarters against Lama after that in Pleasant House, which we might still state. Auburn is crank the football team. Iowa Jesus says none shall be made new. Yeah. Auburn Jesus says none shall be made new. I meant Iowa, sorry.

I meant Iowa, Jesus. I got a mixed up. Auburn is constantly. Constantly. Everything is new. Yeah. Well, I'm not happy about who's, well, I'm not happy about who's in charge of Auburn.

I have to say, on brand, a fit in some respects. Yeah. All right. It's getting late. Should we, do you want to have names? Yeah, the Mountain West is about to announce this title game, so probably time for us to clock out. Yeah, absolutely.

Your name, Spencer. Everyone in the chat. Rickless Orimar, Hawkeyeeb in 1999, Mr. Bet, I bet he's got some wagers. C. Fowler, 96. Brian Farrants is in the building. Oh my God, Brian. Joe Loopy, mind chain frame, nonstop, Lama 117. That's enough. I don't know why that's funny. I know. It's hilarious because we're punchy and I got to get up an eight to watch the final race the f1 season so for every single one of you gets in our mentions yes we're doing this again

next week there are football games on saturday therefore we're doing the show spencer who's going to win their ace uh it's probably probably probably going to be a different right oh oh so the same guy it's probably max for same guy as always yeah it's going to be the he's already won the championship it's the best it's now just bonus people are just like yeah it's a bama it's georgia now i think but no it's abama they have a crank they have a cranky georgia who's dutch so he's like This race fucking sucks. I'm going to say something incredibly cursed. His hair is too good to be a Georgia.

He has to be a Bama. Okay. Wow. It's true. It's true. If there was one driver, by the way, who was from Georgia, like who was like naturally Georgia Bulldog coded, it'd be Carlos Sines. If you look at him, look at the hair.

Yeah, it's Carlos Sines. And the repeated self-immolation. Yes. Not literally. It's important to clarify. All right, y'all. I've yelled numbers. We talked about the games.

Good night. No, you hang up. Wow. What a long show.