Shutdown Fullcast - FULLCAST AFTER DARK: WHAT A BAD IDEA

Episode Date: October 20, 2024

Week 8 of the 2024 college football season, recapped in loving detailFullcast After Dark theme song arranged and performed by Corey CunninghamListen to Ryan's other, less harrowing show, We're Not All Like This, and check out his new narrative podcast with Steven Godfrey, Who Killed College Football? https://www.wkcfb.com/Jason's free CFB Watch Grid newsletter and other stuff: https://www.jasonkirk.fyi/Find Holly and Spencer writing and chirping at https://channel-6.ghost.io/Purchase only the finest Fullcast gear at sunny https://preownedairboats.com/

do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do no one believed in us so the um the points bed for this game was texas by the texas by like four okay so the number one team at home was favored by right around the token home team's amount but georgia actually opened as the favorite in this game in which nobody believed in them May I offer a conspiracy theory? On this program? Ryan, no. No. We only share verifiable information here.

So by using his post-game opportunity to do the, nobody believed in us, your network was against us, they tried to take it from us, et cetera. Kirby Smart is somewhat effectively overshadowing the fact that Texas fans got a pass interference call overturned. by throwing trash. It's called direct action. Solidarity with my Texas brethren. I'm glad they intervened. I don't even know. How would you even explain what happened here to somebody who didn't watch it?

It's called his students protest on campus and it gets results. Thrown trash is the voice of the voiceless, okay? Yeah. I'm glad we finally found the one acceptable form of protest. America, throwing garbage. I think we should throw garbage at more powerful people, okay? That should be, it should be cartoon garbage. You should be able to buy sacks of it at the grocery store?

You mean like old-timey, like when we threw like tomatoes at Cabbardville performers? Cabbage! Like big hunks of wilted cabbage. A bit like banana peels and aluminum cans that still have the lid that you have cut off of it. Yeah, that say the word can on them. Yeah. Like just say

Bottles of X Right Just say the refs standing there And he goes Oh passion interference And we just throw A big old hunk of salad at him Just like a

Like I'm talking a steam shovel full of Yeah Iceberg dead ahead Like a tactical nuke But with rotten salad That's what we drop on this dude's head Okay Yeah

Because that is what we taught Texas fans tonight is that if you if you throw trash you will get what you want that's that's often how life works that's how the big 12 worked for a long time I guess that's the thing in the big 12 texas didn't have to throw anything to get their way like texas got their way a game after game call after call let that without lifting a darn finger oh so you're saying in the SEC they're held to a higher standard yeah they got to like at least show a little leg as in trash as in trash Trash leg. Show me some trash leg. Okay.

Yeah. We have, do we have enough people? Do we have a quorum? Can I go ahead and do the thing? Yeah, sure do. Yeah, it's almost midnight, so yes. Full cast after dark for men Brought to you by Rise Picks

Welcome To the full cast after dark Trash Sound of lettuce Crinkling A cold newspaper Yeah Yeah

Casha Mold growing Yeah, welcome to a production presented by prize picks. The full cast after dark presented by our partner, prize picks. More. I'm more. More. Definitely.

Today was definitely a study in more. And by that, I mean, I've, I've been to a lot of sports today, y'all. I've been to some college football. I've been to some Formula One. I've eaten chicken fingers at multiple compt corporate buffets. It's been pretty good. How about y'all? Why did you say compt?

Well, like, it was free. I didn't pay for it, right? There's no shame in paying for chicken fingers. You stole chicken fingers? BASE. BASE, that's speaking of directa. Did you throw chicken fingers on the field? it worked? I mean, Florida won by a lot, so it must have. It did. Emma Goldman was on my shoulder

being like, take them. They're yours. So, yeah. Poor Georgia, man. Just poor, poor, poor Georgia, who no one believes in. But now I think some people might start to believe in them, possibly. You know, doubled up the number one team. They'll pick up a few believers today. Not many, though. Jason, can I spoil the game for you? Because nobody believes in them right now. This is the world of Kirby Smart. He inherited it from the world of Nick Saban. Nobody believes in them right now. Nobody. The number five team in the country and recent two-time national champion with the most talented roster or maybe the second most talented roster in college football. Nobody believes in them. But Jason, you said you just started believing in them. Correct?

I don't remember saying that, but maybe. No, no, no, no. You did. You did. And even if you didn't, Kirby heard that. I'm being gaslit. Yes. Kirby heard that. And you know what that is? is rat poison that's rat poison that's right that's people believe in something that you haven't accomplished yet rat poison is what you throw in the field to um bully the refs into making up a rule right i can't believe that you said how much you believed in this team or or that you've or that you've managed to condemn the actions of my fellow brethren at the texas game who decided to take that direct action displaying their dissatisfying their dissatisfaction faction with the unjust enforcement of deformed and demented rules.

Wow. I'm so confused. All I know is that I don't believe in Georgia, but I only don't believe in Georgia in order to prevent Kirby Smart's team from being rat poisoned because Texas fans can use that in their campaign to become the Taco Bell Livmas student section of the year. I think I got all that right. We all got to have goals. I want to, I would like to begin my observations on the day by saying this and it's a mea-culpah, I didn't get my team ready. Okay, we fought hard and we fought for four quarters, but the North Texas Mean Green did fall to a talented, all credit due to them ensemble from Memphis, hard playing cats who did nothing but lay down the hottest jazz. for four quarters and beat us 52 to 44 one day we'll be able to hang okay i mean that's a it's five

and two two and one in conference uh musically that's that's that's a that's a tough town to uh to just go in and take over you know like i thought your free jazz uh medley of three six mafia hits was was was smart smart adapted to the environment but music music is is a it's a high standard in that town. It is, but we tried to play with passion. We tried to bring it. And we just fell up, fell a little short. But we'll go back in the lab. We'll go back in the studio. We'll recut it. We'll rearrange it. And we'll just, we'll come back a better band next week. Chandler Morris, by the way, 71 yards rushing 10 carries, 61 pass attempts, 445 yards, three TDs through the air, one on the ground. The biggest ice bath possible.

son need you to plunge your whole body into it for the next two days. Did you say 61 past attempts? Yes, 61 pass attempts and 10 rushing attempts. If you like Chandler Morris, you got all the Chandler Morris you can handle tonight. Yeah, this is Chandler Morris with deleted scenes and bonus content. The director's

cut. All that. I mean, do you know how many pass attempts Florida had tonight? Under 20? Correct. I believe it was 14. Yeah, did we win? It's not a complaint. It's not a complaint. I want to be clear.

Be Kentucky. You usually don't beat Kentucky these days. Oh, I have a complaint about that game. It's that Mark Stoops. Mark Stoops, son, this is a wake-up call. When your program falls to the level of losing to the Florida Gators, ending that long and venerable street, I need you to wake the fuck up, Mark Stoops.

A lot of Kentucky preschoolers. Just heartbroken. never seen it before. Oh, yeah. Imagine having a kid who's four and they've never seen Florida be. You promised me it would always be this way. For the younger listeners, just a few years ago, Kentucky hadn't beaten Florida within the previous 30 years.

30 years. And now yet another streak has fallen in that rivalry. How are you going to look my son, Reginald Snapchat Hellcat, in the eye, and tell him that we just lost to Florida? That's just not a thing We do around here at the University of Kentucky And Lou's bad, 4820 God damn

That was that's a misleading number I know that there was a pick six There was a pick six There was a late like this was most I would say two scores is the more accurate number For the game So quite a few Yeah sure

And it did have it did have like like all good Florida Kentucky games, especially when Florida was on that streak, it had a complete phantom touchdown that you were just like, I guess he was in, nobody actually saw him. It was, oh man, it was vintage, but. Are you saying you didn't believe in it? That's right. That's right. I don't believe in anything. It's everywhere. I'm a football miles. Is someone scraping their mic against a Coke can or something like that? I think Spencer is slowly slurping nothing. I bet it's over Spencer's recording. It's probably where I'm recording. It's probably where I'm recording. I'm just going to attempt to hold it as far away from my beard as possible.

I think that's a beard sound, and I'm going to try to do the best I can in this hotel room. Is your beard flowing in the wind? It is, yes, it is blowing hither and yawn in the breeze that I have. I have bad news. Whatever you did, I think, worked. Because I know as like a fighting game character, even when you stand still, you're fully animated. It's true. especially when I have hacked the hotel AC to go lower than the limited minimum. Yes, I hit less.

Fucking podcast and Zangeev over here. So the- Oh, did you not know that Spencer Podcasts without a shirt on? You should know that. A little pair of red trunks, yeah. I do this shit from Mother Russia. What if we were bought like the, all the, the little Beanie Hat man, I forget his name, cares yeah what if we were bought and paid for by russia but no one could tell because we forgot what a hand that our propaganda is too incoherent to affect anything so on the subject of florida

being trash it has for you know for much of the season um people have sort of circled the thanksgiving week rivalry showdown between florida and florida state as like oh my god what a what a what a What a clash of disasters that'll be. But at this point, Florida is clearly several tiers above FSU. So I think that game has been downgraded to just like, well, Florida better win that. FSU, FSU, another streak breaker, the streak of never, never lost Duke in football, ever. Human history. Forever.

Yeah, this is far bigger than. Fucking Dracula's are out there being like, oh, my God. This is better than either Florida or Kentucky meeting the other. This is like, you know, ancient Chinese emperors and Acadian emperors. Mike Norvell. No one has ever seen this happen before. Yeah. Florida State 1 and 6 for the first time since before Bobby Bowden showed up.

You don't want that. You don't want that to happen. And who do they play next week in their last chance to maybe salvage bowl eligibility? That would be Miami who is physically impervious to losing, no matter how hard they try. Miami who really can only lose if they decide to hand the game to you because Miami is Miami's biggest opponent. Like when and if they lose a game this season, it will be because of something Miami did, not you did. Everyone should just be Iowa when it comes to playing Miami. Do not attempt to do anything.

Do not chase Cam Ward. Do not look at Cam Ward. do not attempt to do anything with Cam Ward do not provoke him do not provoke him do not maintain eye contact with him he may throw you the ball he may make an amazing pass to the back of the end zone for a touchdown you don't have anything to do with it just accept the random outcome generator and hope you come out on the high side the this game it feels redundant to say a Miami game was wild but yeah that's a 52 45 against Louisville and the entire time it, you know, Louisville was never out of this one.

But, yep, it's Miami. So what, what do you think you're going to win? Do you think it had anything to do with you? No. It's not about you. No, it's not about you. It's about, we, Cam Ward did not fight his way all the way up from the prison pit that is incarnate word in FCS.

He did not, like, freak show bane his way up through Wazoo into Miami to have to have you sit there and assume that you had something to do with the outcome of this game. Like, I ain't going back to Pullman. I ain't going back. No, he's literally. It's like, no. Pullman's like, hey, you could come back any time. He's like, nah, fuck that. A lot happened. Like, usually at this point in the show, I'm already like, okay, time to pick a bullshit game. But, like, wow, a lot went on today. Can we discuss something that I need to explain to me?

I need the experts of this program to put knowledge into this empty head of mine and tell me how the following happened. USC 28, Maryland 29. I'm so glad you asked. Doug, can you play the clip that I have queued up for this? Oh, no! Disaster! What a bad idea! Play it again.

Play it again. Just one more time. Oh, no. Disaster! What a bad idea! What a bad idea! I'm blanking on what this bad idea was. So this was, this was Maryland, near the very end of the first half, had the ball and was driving with almost no time.

left on the clock and I think what happened was they they failed to like spike the ball and figure out what play they could run it just sort of spike the ball like missed the ground they well they should have they should have spiked the ball to sort of like get their ducks in a row instead they completely lost the snap USC recovered and I bring that up just to say it's amazing to be the team that gets that call and win like just

just the beauty of I'm so sorry can we get just one more one more oh no disaster what a bad idea this is

it's one of the greatest play calls it's one of like I'll say it's up there over do you believe in miracles so that is that is this is the second year in a row where the best call might have been made by Charlotte hornets announcer and occasional college football play by playman Eric Collins because you may remember his work from last year during the UCF Baylor game where the quarterback took a 70 yard scramble into his own end zone and Eric Collins is going McLean McLean there is there's another call in this game when maryland uh is in the red zone and throws

truly a terrible pick and even before the ball is intercepted he goes terrible throw he's so brutally honest about what's happening there's no there's no element of like and it is descriptive but purely in an emotional way like it doesn't if you're not paying it and you don't actually know what happened but you don't get all you need to out of the call every single play is its own little hindenberg right like oh my man it i can't watch right right um can you do it one more time yeah Doug sorry can we just one more oh no disaster what a bad idea it's really what a bad idea it's really the one of anyway that doesn't answer your question um this short

answer is USC just collapsed in the second half. They had the ball on a fourth and one. I want to say a little over two minutes to go, up six, and attempted a field goal from makeable distance. Field goal got blocked. Maryland recovered and ran it back a good way and ended up marching down the field and scoring the game winner and game winning touchdown. The stats for this game don't make sense. They don't tell you, like, oh, this is what happened here. And this is what the story of this game is. Like, Miller Moss threw the ball a lot, had one pick. That was unfortunate. Billy Edwards, Jr., threw 50 balls for 373 yards on USC. Like, USC's defense is just kind of still.

it's improved in a little bit i guess um USC's ability to lose close games is really and this is the situation we're now in trojans are three and four they have to win three of the following games to get to a ballgame this year ruckers at washington Nebraska UCLA Notre Dame like there are wins on that schedule there's a decent chance there are three and maybe even four wins on that schedule. But the way that USC plays, especially in close games, like, I wouldn't, nothing about, nothing about what they've done so far this year is like, oh yeah, they definitely got it in the back. That win against LSU to start the season increasingly on both sides is like, what the fuck happened there? What the absolute fuck happened there? I, yeah, because that's, that's,

false an indicator as it's actually not a false indicator what it told us was USC is going to be playing one score games yes and yes that's all it meant we didn't say what kind of one score games we didn't say what the result would be it's it's not hey I mean hails Maryland obviously first and foremost October Maryland get the fuck out of the way who everybody after last week was just like F. Barim. They're dead. They're useless. They can't do anything. Lost by 27 points in Northwestern turns around and beats USC. USC, you literally wanted this. You wanted to play in this conference. This is the mistake we made. We talked about Purdue and Oregon as if Purdue was going to be the Arizona that trips up in Oregon. And that's not true. This is the U.S.C. had this experience.

This was your Arizona State, Maryland. I am enlightened. You're not really. You just got to hear a silly call four times, but that's all you need to. Let's make it five. I think you mean five times, Ryan. I think you mean five times. Oh, Doug.

Doug's busy. It's fine. More. You asked for too much. I did. Oh, no. What a bad idea. My analysis of USC's problems are not going to update from what I said last year.

I said Lincoln Riley is just Cliff Kingsbury who can't dance. And that will not be changing because he has not improved. Yeah, sure. The scores look a little tidier. But I don't believe in him. Never will. You know what? You know what USC's not?

They're not motherfucking Indian. that's what well yeah who is jeez of course not i everybody was all primed to say indiana played this soft schedule you know about to come back to earth la di da here comes nebraska who's looked a lot better this year and they just stomped them like a lot of it was turnovers they forced five um they didn't even need curtis bro in the second half he hurt his hand maybe a nail on his hand I wasn't entirely sure. And then they just ran the ball, pretty much, not exclusively, but a lot in the second half. And they went 56 to 7.

Indiana is out here putting up bonkers offensive numbers on people. This is the sixth straight game that they've scored at least 40 points. These are not close. And they're going to play, their next three games are going to play Washington, Michigan, and Michigan. And while a lot of these teams have shown moments of strength, I'm not going to go out here and tell you like, no, they can hold Indiana under 40. I'm not. They might. It's a big world out there. But like, they're just destroying people, absolutely destroying people. It's amazing. Gert Signetti is making this look embarrassingly easy.

What, like it's hard to go 7 and O in Indiana? It is. I think that's happened one time before, one. It is honestly very funny to me that the AP has Indiana down at 16, because like, I mean, it's very easy to say this is the most, even before what happened today, most underrated team in the country. Do you know how many, how many points they've allowed in the first quarter of all their games? Zero. It would be weird if I did. Okay.

Zero. no nobody has scored on indiana in the first quarter they're scared scared scared to set them off and i mean 11 and 1 is completely within range here like yes indiana i i the word probably is key but indiana is probably going to the playoff that's so good probably don't mean definitely but let me let me play the contrarian here jason and it will still sound insane oh well i think there only going to win nine games what which was the goal the entire goal years ago for the um nationalized indiana fan base nine they're probably going to breeze past nine yeah just astonishing shit just just my current signetti who when asked about this was like yeah look me up google me i

win. Okay. Didn't he say that before all this? Do people remember when good Indiana seasons were still like dad fumbling through the pantry to make dinner? What he was like, I don't know? Crackers can be sandwiched meat. Make it work. And you'd be like, wow, what grit, what amazing, what amazing stick to it of this that you've MacGyvered six wins out of this. And now, crissing then he's just like, destroy all humans. Like on one, hand, this is kind of the flip side of Big Ten West teams. Now they have to play actual grown-up schedules. Whereas Indiana no longer has, you know, has to face a Kaiju every three weeks. Yes. But they still have Michigan on the schedule. Granted, it's not exactly last

year's Michigan. It's basically just Ohio State that you look at as like, okay, that's a team that is, you know, likely and or more than likely to beat Indiana. Otherwise, everything's beatable but none of this would have mattered in almost any previous year in Indiana football history so like the schedule thing eh it doesn't really matter that much to me because they're just crushing people and um not only in comparison to normal Indiana but just like very very few teams would have done this against against the schedule yeah they haven't they haven't had one like uh oh I think they're going to barf game They still haven't trailed at all, right?

I don't think so, no. I sure as shit didn't today. No, not at all. Did not even, and declined to that. At no point have they even looked like they were like, yeah, we want a trail. And again, Nebraska's not a bad team. Like, this is not just like, oh, you know, who fucking cares? Nebraska sucks.

Like, Nebraska has improved. And I think we'll, you know, we'll probably still get to seven or eight wins this year. and they just made them look silly overall. It's fun. It's a lot of fun. This is one of the season's best wins. Nebraska's only other losses by a touchdown 2A. All right, let's talk about Illinois.

Six and one Illinois who beat the defending champs, quote fingers around defending, by 14. While wearing what, though? While wearing what I could best be described as, you know when like sometimes they'll do like they'll paint a model to look like they have clothes on they went mystique on them they went mystique on them they were like what if our cloaking device made us look like old-timey football players yes yes to me it looks like um you know when you like unlock cosmetics for your character and you get ones that are like you like you know you have a bunch

a mismatch shit, right? Your helmet doesn't match your boots or whatever, but you're fine with all of it. And then you get this one full kit, and it's like, wow, I could look totally coordinated head to toe, but I'd have to wear that. And I don't know, man, when you can win a game by looking that stupid, you, you really are a special team. So these were throwbacks for the 1924 team, the galp and ghost, Red Grange anniversary. and and and i think it's very appropriate that they beat michigan in 1924 clothing while they threw the ball for 80 yards through the air like it's just it's perfect just be like yep fuck you like oh that must mean they just ran wild on the ground

they're leading rush around 54 they did fine they did fine um kind of just nothing happens but they're six and one and and michigan's four and three and once again uh it's fine it's fine that this was a ranked ranked game uh illinois hadn't beaten michigan since 2009 um but i don't we don't we don't need to keep ranking michigan not for a little bit i don't think we're done with that for for the time being uh just there's no need it's fine illinois's similar schedule situation I got to go to Oregon next week. Okay. After that, Minnesota, Michigan State, Rutgers, Northwestern.

Illinois playoff is also not impossible. Holly, do you have something on your heart? Yeah. Can you guys tell me what the following things have in common? An Ebola epidemic, Belgium legalizing euthanasia, the disappearance of Malaysia Airlines Flight 370. Scotland's vote to remain in the U.K. The final B-53 nuclear weapons case being delivered to the Freedom Museum USA in Pampa, Texas.

Anybody? I'm lost. These are all events of 2014, which I'm told is the last time Michigan scored this few points in a game. Can anybody else think of another word for fewer? More. Less. That's right. Less, as in more or less.

The two words you need to know in order to play prize picks. That's right. Prize picks, the best place to get real money sports action with over 10 million members and billions of dollars in awarded winnings. Prize picks have made daily fantasy sports accessible to all. Again, using the magic words, more. or less on at least two players for a shot to win up to 100 times of your cash. Words are not magic.

Run your game all season long on prize picks. I came very close to engaging in that kind of magic, by the way. But, and it was very exciting. But Tennessee managed to keep Jalen Milrow from doing one touchdown on the ground, which was all I needed to win, and everyone else came through, including Dylan Thompson. But it was still very exciting. Didn't have a great week with prize picks, but we, I'm going to trust the process, and we're going to get this back. What's the process?

The process is more. That's it. I see. I see. It's just that easy, even though, yes. It really is. Okay, so it is time to talk about Bam in Tennessee. Yes? It is. It is.

He's Dylan Thompson. I'm sorry. Dylan Thompson is a player who's no longer in college football. I actually thought you were going for Dylan Thomas, and I'm like, oh, he's just out on Safari. That's right. I drank 18 whiskeys and took a bunch of morphine, and then I started in the backfield for Tennessee.

Yeah, I was talking about Dylan Samson. Holly, I have a question for you about the Tennessee bandit game. did you notice what kailin de boar was wearing today did you notice that it had i'm not actually sure okay the last time i made some some comment about kaelin debor's uh fashion i accidentally set off a firestorm that released such a wave of ire that i didn't think front page a l.com is where we were headed the last time but here's the thing i'm not super familiar with the exact Nike garment that Kailen was wearing tonight. Hi, Sunny.

I'm pretty sure that had a zip-in hood, and I'm not sure that counts as a collar. It's possible that I'm the only one that noticed this, but also I thought I was the only one that noticed he was wearing a t-shirt last time. Oh, yeah, yeah. And we know where that went. I do you think do you think that was a reaction to people are mad that I worry yes yes it's like one thousand percent yes because it's okay listen and it's not I let me be

careful here it's not that he said old people are mad I better put a collar on my shirt he's a football coach and if he can do one single thing to reduce the amount of pains in his ass on a given day, he'll do it. I guarantee you that man has never thought about what he wore on the sidelines before in his life. And he's now going to have one of those shirts laid out for him for every game, just so that's one less thing. At least if he wants to keep this job, he's going to do that. I do think if it continues to go poorly and he gets the sense like, yeah, they're going to pull the plug. wear the t-shirt on your last

game. No, go back to tank top. No, go back to take to. What's the point of having a handsome coach if you're not going to run with it? Can I meet you halfway? Um, like, like a half shirt?

No, I was going to say, Pensacola air-sprayed shirt that makes you look like a bikini lady. Can I meet you halfway down, Caitlin DeBore's treasure trail, Paul? This is not necessarily the analysis of Bay of the Tennessee,

a very entertaining game that you wanted. What? It was all, like, they kept cutting for other people. They kept cutting to him, and I was like, he's both more dressed, but not any more dressed in a weird way. It was very baffling. I thought this was going to be, we finished that game, and I was like, what an unnecessarily long slog of tickey, tack, officiating, and coach.

is yelling at refs. And then the next game started on the very same. And it looked positively chased. Oh, what was the final penalty count in this game? I don't remember. The last I looked, Bama had 12 and Tennessee had 10, and I know we bet that. You blew through that. The total for each team, Alabama had 15 penalties for 115 yards, and Tennessee had 11 for 95.

How did both of us get Gainesville poisoning and only one of us is played Florida? You're welcome. I mean, Caledon D'Bor is dressing like a Gainesville native, so. He really is. Woof. This was the buzz your girlfriend, bowl. Is this when, is this when Kail and DeBore comes out in the, if you can read this, the bitch fell off shirt? But it's on the front for some reason.

It's on the front, right? What? It doesn't make sense. He ain't even wearing it correctly, Paul. Can anyone explain to me why is K. Ivy's picture on the back? Why did, why did Bama after, all right, so after probably the most costly penalty of the game? Well, I don't know if that's true now. One of the most costly penalties is the game, the personal foul that took Georgia from fourth and seven on what looked like it was going to be their last possession to fourth and 22.

And then they called the- minutes of broadcast time. And then they called a screen pass on fourth and 22. and I just, I don't, I don't understand what happened there. I don't understand what was supposed to happen there. That, man, I'll, I'll say it. That was some Butch Jones shit. You have Ryan Williams.

Just put something up, man. Just get him downfield and hope. And you know, and you know that there's already been fucking two dozen penalties in the game. Wouldn't you throw a pass that might result in defensive holding or might result in pass interference? You know they're itching to do. this shit. They just threw a like, I'm not going to say super tickey tack, but like slightly like maybe you don't throw that flag on you. Like why are, oh man, it was true. Oh, it was. Oh, it was

yeah. Fucking, it's just as kids. When I said that was some Butch Jones shit, I'm quoting a current member of the Tennessee staff. Uh, Tennessee asked a lot of its defense in the second half of this game and in the fourth quarter of this game. And holy shit, they came out to play. They are, and they can, we are, this streak is what, it's 20 that they've held every opponent under at this point? Dude, the best, I know, Heifel's the best higher. Right under that is Heifle's hire for this program of Tim fucking Banks. Oh my God. Tennessee had 20, defensive players record a stat in this game yeah 26 to give you an idea of of you know what another team thanks has four years worth of players who've had to run against this offense in

practice do you know how many of those players had at least a share of a tackle for loss in this game like 14 nine nine is that's that's that's that's that's that's that's that's that's that's that's crazy The former leading tackler, bless his heart, we love you, Peeley, was out for the season. Guess what? You have unlocked active James Pierce. Have fun. Yeah. Foppy says James Pierce recorded 13 different stats.

I swear, yeah. Yeah, I feel like that happened. I, this team did not lose to win this kind of game. And I don't care, you know, spoken at many. many a matrimonial altar or in and around Knoxville. I don't care how ugly they are. Maybe I'm wrong here, but this is, this is like, I have a hazy sense of like, this is how like they used to win in 1991. And without, without like taking credit away from Tennessee, Alabama seems to be like getting slightly worse over the, like over the course of the last three

weeks. They are not improving and the things that they're bad at they've gotten worse at. Thank you for saying that, because this is what Ryan and I were talking about earlier. This is what I wanted to talk about tonight. This one game, I think, has fundamentally altered what I think about the utility of coaching. How much of that team played under Sabin for multiple years? They're not like an entirely freshman and sophomore composed roster. He leaves and your entire team forgets how to tackle. Yeah.

What would they do? What witchcraft were they running in practice? that is no longer happening. Why can't you tackle anymore? That doesn't look like Bama. It's weird. And they can't, like even the coverage, Niko was, let's say, a little erratic today

because the big throws he- This is still a freshman. Yeah. Oh, yeah, it's not a complaint. But it was a weird thing where the biggest throws he hit were not the best opportunities Tennessee had in terms of Guy's open downfield. And the interception he threw,

even that was just like oh that was a terrible decision it wasn't a like wow bama just steps on your threat he got hit i think he got hit as he thrown on that one he did i mostly just didn't know why he was throwing the ball at all based on nobody being open unless he was trying to get out of bounds maybe i don't know no he was trying to thread he was trying to thread double coverage in the corner of the insane i'd rather i could try and make that throw than not like i listen i live through tyler bray you can't hurt me yeah i don't i don't know what I don't know what to do about the fact that Jalen Milrow threw the ball 45 times and didn't hit 250 yards and ended up his long run was for 10 yards like that's the more worried thing

yeah one like that's the funny part because he had 100 yards on the ground in a quarter or something last week and Bama fans were mad about that and it's like well okay you want this flavor we could less less like they're not going to like these Tennessee podcast or they're not going to like me saying this a lot of this game felt like the Florida game Alabama was in the role of oh you have

wasted opportunities and they're going to come back to bite you yeah this was this was hot potato for a very long time it's still though like for a team that had zero points

at the half even if you are currently beating on the rapidly decaying corpse of what was Alabama. This is why they were tired in the second half, and we were not, because we chose not to play football in the first half. That is such a smart move is to not play football. If you have the option to not play football, just don't. Don't. Take a half off. And now Bama has Mizzou next, who like, I don't know how the fuck they beat Auburn, other than, other than again, Auburn has lost

the mandate of heaven. I did watch enough of that. I did watch enough of that. I'm glad we get a bi-week before Kentucky, a real sentence, I'm saying. I don't think you're wrong with losing the mandate of heaven, by the way, because Hugh Freeze did what he probably should have done, which was, I know you have to. Hugh Freeze did what he had to do late in that game, which was turtle up and play conservative football. It was what, it was, damn it, it was what Pat Die would have. wanted, right? What you need to do

is you just need to run the ball three times. Protect the football. And then kick the shit out of it and let your defense do the work. And then afterwards, you go get yourself a cold Coke cola and a slaw dog. That's Auburn football. And that's

what he did and they fucking lost. Usually when he frees does what he has to do late, it involves finding an orphanage across state lines. Free labor. Hey, can I? What? Can I read you the teams of power four,

the list of power four teams who don't have a conference win so far? It is Purdue, Oklahoma State, weird, Cal, UNC, Mississippi State, and Auburn. The end. Can I push back on that just a little bit? Sure. Who can say what is a? is not an ACC win. That's a really good point.

That feels an awful like your opinion. I got like a 70% hit rate on that at best. So yeah. Can I tell you? What else do and Hugh have in common? I want to, I would like to summarize an important late game thusly. That would be Iowa State. And I want to summarize it with this.

Rocco Becked. Did you want a whole lot of Rocco Beck? Guess what? you got a whole fucking lot of Rocco Beck. Did he pass for over 50% completion rate? No. No, no, he did not. He threw the ball 46 times for 274 yards.

That's somehow passing for more and less at the same time. Did they run the ball with anybody other than Rocco Beck? More than 10 times. No, no, they did not. Rocko Beck had 20 carries for 97 yards and two scores. Did Rocco Becht somehow managed to pull this game out of the fire with under two minutes left? Yes, he did. UCF 35, Iowa State 38.

In conclusion, Roccobecht. Now he's got to go work night on it. And this is another team that, like, they play Texas Tech. They have next week off then they play Texas Tech. Texas Tech just lost to Baylor. And I think we were all pretty sure Baylor was just done for the year. they play kansas kansas did finally manage to win but kansas has looked deeply broken they play cincinnati who like the whole big 12 is a real interesting mess but most importantly they end

the year with farmageddon playing kansas state kansas state who won again today and like i don't know what's going on with west virginia they are they are not they're not especially competitive right now it's possible we get consecutive formgaden a two-week farmland. Instead of cancel the apocalypse, we have uncanceled the farmageddon. Cancel the farmland. So we're in a situation where Indiana and Iowa State and Illinois are in

playoff contention. The playoff is too big. In this scenario, who are the angel and the demon who are meeting in the middle to work this whole thing out and maybe bone? Pit. yeah no you know what you're absolutely right and you know who's watching in the corner forgiving all activity that's right

number 13 BYU currently 7 at O after after getting barely Liberty is the one watching in the corner oh but they're enjoying it um BYU you down 35

31 with about a minute 16 left. They only needed a minute of it because Oklahoma State did everything right. The drive they put together to go ahead in this game, gorgeous eight minute 44 or eight minute 28 second drive, 17 plays, 76 yards, methodical measured. A very sweet little juke to score the touchdowns. Yes, a couple of crucial fourth down conversions. just they did everything they were supposed to do

and they were so close to getting their first big 12 win and so close to getting over 500 and then BYU said have you heard the good news my brother God loves you and wants you to watch this touchdown drive don't tackle don't tackle you not to tackle okay I guess it won't that's true turn the other cheek as in turn your ass away from the play

You know where God is not? With the Oklahoma Sooners, specifically in the first quarter. Either Oklahoma team. But yes, mainly the Sooners, the lack is more apparent there. 35-9-9 is such a weird, like, it's such a weird, like, auto-simmed score where you're like, this computer doesn't know how football works. Why would it be 35-9? That doesn't make sense.

but it was in South Carolina beat Oklahoma on the road. Oklahoma dropping to four and three, one in three in conference play. Again, the one is because Auburn has lost the mandate of that. That's the only common thread here. Oklahoma as a program this year is driving me to thoughts that usually only show up on message boards. Like, I genuinely want to know what that staff is teaching because I can't, like, if this was if oklahoma's body of work this year was a term paper i would tell them they had no thesis i can't figure out what they want the identity of that team to be and i'm not sure they know

it's not scoring points that that that must for sure yeah we can safely rule that out yeah not scoring points for themselves they scored some points today just just not for not for the oklahoma sooners you know how close oklahoma are to being on four game losing streaks oh that tickles Hey, folks, sound off in the comments for whatever. We're going to make a new acronym for ASMR to describe whatever Spencer's beard is doing. I'm really trying to keep it away. I think the thing is it's growing. Can we buy you some sort of like hair neck and that beard?

It would be very handy. Maybe right now. We're going to expense that. I think maybe an ascot. Wait, are you outside? I'm in an airport hotel on a headset mic, like, like that the plug-in. is yeah that's what it is yeah game gamer spencer fucking up it's game gamer spencer fucking everything up but i i wanted so just for posterity's sake i want to read this into the the record here um this is

the opening of oklahoma south carolina okay okay yes Oh, my God. The box score, they've taken the, you know, usually they have play-by-play under the box score. Yeah. It's so heinous that ESPN has removed it. Yes. Yep. It is not there.

I just saw something else funny that ESPN did. What's that? Which is they have the clip of Kirby yelling at ESPN on their front page. All press. Tremendous content. Whoever is programming the front page tonight nicely done. Instead, Spencer, can I share with you the opening of TCU, Utah, a game that's still going on, TCU's currently leading 13-0. On their opening drive, TCU had a nice drive going, got down to first and goal from the Utah 9.

TCU quarterback Josh Hoover fumbled on what looked like the football equivalent of when like a point guard dribbles it off his foot. like nobody touched him he just sort of like went to it was maybe a i think it was maybe like a read option and he went to like keep the ball and just sort of like lost it uh you covered the ball they went three and out the punt got blocked and that put tCU right back at the utah 15 uh utah managed to hold them to a field goal attempt from the utah five and that field goal attempt was blocked as well, but somehow DCU has persevered, and they continue to lead 13-0 over Utah. I watched a clip from this play with the one where the punter was roughed, and I have never seen a complete no-cell of a running into the kicker than the kicker who got hit here, the punter got hit. And he did get nailed, but he just kind of flopped down.

Like he was like, oh, this looks like a nice spot and just laid on his back, looking at the ref. Not even asking for a flag, but just like, hey, what's up, man? Found a nice place. What he said is off this week, right? That's right, which means Ashton Jentee is standing still in place. I think, I think Bryson Daly, Army quarterback, has taken Ashton Jentie's place with the following stat lines. Seven of ten passing for 147 yards and a touchdown at Army. that's a very big passing day.

On the ground, 31 carries for 171 yards and five touchdowns. Just absolutely obliterated East Carolina. Army and Navy both remain undefeated and ranked and on the path to fighting for a playoff spot in consecutive weeks. The Army Navy game being a playoff play end game. Is there a way, Jason, walk me through this. Is there a way that we can get Army Navy? Navy play each other, Army Navy play each other again in the AAC Championship, and then Army

Navy Navy are some paired in a playoff game as well. Wait, isn't the AAC Championship game before the Army Navy game? Yeah, so it's honestly, it's even dumber. No, I was just making sure. No, you're right, you're right. Okay. My brain is like, that can't be, but it is. It's even dumber because the winner of that game, if they are ranked ahead of, say,

Boise State, they're going to the. playoff, which means their regular season game that happens after it happens after they've already, you know, I guess you could have a situation where like if it's, you know, Army is 12 and 0 with a conference title, but it'll come down to like if Navy beats them, they'll fall behind Boise and then Boise you'll take the playoff bid. So like, yeah, there, you know, could be playoff stakes to their second matchup even if oh god it's so fucking stupid

it's good it's very good but it's like are you how hard are you going to ding a 12 and 0 conference champion for losing to a team that also made the conference title game because like in the past the playoff committee has kind of just like you made the conference title game we're not going to go any more than a spot or two oh the this would technically

this would technically be a regular season game so like are you going to give it that extra little eh who cares and also it's the troops and also you get to screw boise state we know it was a previous entity that liked to do that but it's basically the same institution so for old time's sake they love screwing boise state but why do i feel like this will somehow end up with the playoff committee releasing an eight paragraph explanation as to why they decided to exclude both army and navy to respect all troops we've decided because we don't want to want Air Force to feel left out. It would be really hard for both of them to make it. If they both beat Notre Dame, then suddenly beating Notre Dame doesn't count for much. Notre Dame sneakily just like plugging along with just the one loss and looking pretty good in the process.

Working class Rust Belt Catholic School. With a loss to NIU. They're going to get likable here if they're not careful. Mm-hmm. Mm-hmm. You know why they lost to NIU? because they respect the working man. That's why.

That's right. Sure. That's right. Once again, for the third week in a row, I would just like to register a complaint that the Army Navy game, the first good Army Navy game, and God knows how long is being played at FedEx Field. Yeah, we can't have nice things.

Yeah. You know, I'm going to follow that up with a couple of other nice things we can't have. You know, we can't have that's nice. Speaking of blue collar teams, speaking of, you know, just try to work and do some shit. Rutgers! Rutgers. Rutgers just trying to feed its family killed in a horrible industrial accident

by mauled by bears mulled by bears on their way to the foundry. UCLA should not be playing football this early on my They're flying in bears from California. The bears were sleepy and grumpy. The bears are doing the gender surgeries. That's one of those. On the planes.

Wow. That's right. They're turning the planes gay. I figured out how I'm going to watch. games for the next 17 days. You guys ready? I have a plan. It's pretty simple. It requires a DVR, but we

mostly all have those right now, right? Don't start watching games until like 130. And then just skip over all the they, them commercials. Yeah, sure. Sure. That's a good plan. It's great. Like, and all you

have to do, all you have to do in order to preserve the, in order to preserve the magic is not look at your mentions. You're going to live longer in two different metrics. Oh, my God. Yeah. This is a great plan. You should, you should, I think you should start a sports bar that just operates on this premise.

Right. Of like, come in here. We have all the games. They're not in real time. Also, we're taking your phone. It's a good plan. It's like a lock-in. Yes.

For your feelings. Mm-hmm. Another nice thing that we cannot have is Arizona State thriving, Cincinnati. I don't know what you're doing, but why are you hurting my son devil? No, it's good. This is, this is like, this is the big 12 we, we all thought we were going to get. Just like, they're all going to shoot each other in the leg, and that's what's happening. It's fine.

It's just an understood condition of membership that if you show, if you show up to the country club, it's like, hey, Bill, how's the nine iron? Blam! Ow! Like the, it is, it feels increasingly tricky that we will get a big 12 champion that everybody's like, boy, definitely. the best in the league and not like okay head and shoulders that's the most alive team we agree because right now that game would be b yu iowa state two teams that barely won against teams that have not been awesome this year also they entered this season uh i believe like fourth and ninth in the conference poll that sounds about right yeah it's it's completely scrambled also as u is already over

It's win total for the year. So our sun devils are nevertheless thriving. I want to go ahead and give a live update here that will translate to future enjoyment. Utah has scored long bomb to wide receiver, money parks. Good. Money parks. Wonderful. We love it.

I did not know they had a wide receiver named Money Parks. That's great. Can we still get a Nile Collective that only donates to players whose names are also simple sentences. Yeah. Or named after money, cash, or currency. Cash Jones and Money Parks, start your own NIL. I am excited that we are rapidly approaching, like, all right, it's time to get out your

tiebreakers list because these conferences are going to be an absolute mess. Have fun with that. Just based on who's leading, like, I'm already excited that Texas A&M LSU is going to, the winner of that game is the leader. of the SEC. I'm pretty sure. I don't think I've left anybody out. Look it up. I'm not making it. Get down here in the bucket. We got a very large, very wide, shallow crab bucket. Everybody get in it. We all expected A&MLSU to be the game that would decide who was leading the SEC,

right? They'll be completely leading outright, too. Yeah. We're going to need an extra spreadsheet because nobody has the, don't you dare tell me you have all the new conferences committed to memory you're a liar i have played a lot of the video game so so i do but that's closer than me buddy that's what it takes yeah yeah because current current current conference leader in the cc that is correct i'm looking at it with my own eyes yeah and and it's not just like they've they've played more games or whatever they're the only two undefeated teams in the yes yes and the winner will be

be the only undefeated team in the SEC, not undefeated overall, undeteens. Which are only succeeding by importing their brainpower from Indiana and North Carolina. And the states, not the schools. So the, so at some point, the SEC leader. Whoa, whoa, whoa, whoa, Ryan, I'm sorry. I'm sorry. Go ahead. We have a reframing of this from the comments that I need to, that I need to preserve in audio form. Thank you, commenter, handsome. Tiger droppings versus Texas versus Texags the week before Halloween. That's much better.

In an election season. In an election season. Thank you. Thank you, Palantir. The brain worm cup. That really brings it home. Don't answer any emails from your dad during this week. I don't even want to go.

Usually my favorite thing to go is, just to go look at the subject lines of the post. I'm not even sure I can do that. Yeah. If you got a roll with one of the other and killing yourself is not an option. Ooh, that's a rough choice, brother. It's really not. You take tiger droppings because at least then you know that you will be,

that all of your parts will be used and consumed. Techs, you might end up in the politics board. I go tiger droppings just because I know that like some of, them own Photoshop and have gone through the tutorials. There's a geniality to the murder in there that is completely absent from Texags, which is not wrong, just different. There will be jokes and attempts at jokes. So there's that.

Texags, they're just going to take my body and dreadnought me, right? They're just going to encase me in some sort of like, that's how, Spencer, that's how you become the 12th gang. The ocean and all sailors on it are gay, Texas A&M is at Space Force School. the space force school that's why we wear white like the moon hey how mad are you guys have you guys noticed that when they do

troops commercials during these now that space force has I guess I kind of figured that space force would just kind of get tacked on to the end when they're listing service branches they bump Coast Guard down again how mad are you if you're the Coast Guard I mean I don't know is Coast Guard

happy that they're just sort of like, man, we've been clocking in and not doing shit for a week. I don't know. Is there anybody here in the Coast Guard? Do you kind of like being viewed as a half troop? Because it seemed, you guys do, you guys do very troopful things. Yeah, you're like wet cops. Is Space Force hiring? Hold on. Spencer, you of all people can't be making fun of rescue swimmers, man. Space Force careers. I need them. Find your role on a power of protecting both earth and space i'm not making the sense i have concerns about a number of your institutions now based on the common knowledge of the coast guard that i did not have several minutes ago hmm no none of these jobs are any good i don't want these where's like

bumaproch said that they're the best troops other than the taking our drugs part first of all that that automatically disqualifies them for me and second of all the The troops who take our drugs the hardest of the Marines. Don't ask what I mean by taking. The troops who take our drugs the hardest are the postal cops. That's right. With whom you do not want problems. Square grouper, baby.

Whereas the Marines, they'll take whatever drugs you hand them. I'm like, cool. Let's see what this does, Jim. That tarp and talk shit about the chargers. Here, a firefighter said this would get me real jacked. Also, it'll turn your eye. You'll turn your pupils purple for a week. It's sick.

It's like I'm in twilight. Instead of dialing nine and one and waiting for one, I'm just pre-filling out my phone with a text to the Admiral. It just says it happened again. I'm just holding my thumb over send. We do have a new Ted Cruz, which is Joe Rogan. Oh, okay, okay. We also have Ted Cruz content.

That's going to need unpacking. We have Ted Cruz content from today. Do we? Yeah, so Georgia, Texas, there were reports of citizen journalism, I'll say, that Ted was possibly in the building. But all I saw was one photo floating around. So I can't weigh in on whether he was actually there. But he did advertise during this game. Oh, that explains it.

Everyone in the nation was forced to watch one of his commercials. And I think because of that investment in this broadcast, it counts as him being there. whether the photo is accurate or not. So I think Texas losing by 15 as the favorite, as the number one team, that gets added to Ted Cruz's resume, his record of tanking Texas teams by supporting them. Tanking Ted Cruz. I think he said Joe Rogan as his emissary. I think he was like, I think he was like, I can't go because there's this thing.

Joe, be my eyes. But Joe, if you can be, if you can be my source. strong boy in the building. I'm sorry for pinning this comment that I just pinned, but if I had to read the phrase sex eggs, the rest of you also have to. Joe Rogan was, it's not just that Rogan was there.

It's not the official like Longhorn's account was like, welcome to the family, Joe. Welcome to Texas. This is so great. Wait, wait, wait, wait, wait. I was filled in bomb threats for my cousins for the first like half hour of this game, the ones that went to Bama. Joe Rogan was there.

Yeah. Oh, yeah. The Texas athletics account was like, Welcome to the facility, Joe Rogen had a picture. You guys want to stop doing that. Here's the thing. Guys, why did we invite Joe Rogan to the game with the most conspiracy, like conspiratorial fucking penalty overturn you've ever seen?

Now Joe Rogan's going to be like, oh, it is, oh, my God. Look, you just throw trash and you get whatever you want. That's how things work for these kids these days. They think they just, they throw, trash and eat hot chip and then they get the they get the call they want so they they they found the flag yeah that's it i heard yeah they found the flag they found the flag and they picked it up they found they they you know what they did they they researched it that's wild and they just put it away like it was never even there yeah that's what they needed they needed kirby being like

nobody believed us and we're like rogan pops up the back goes that's crazy man nobody believed in And Joe says, I believe everything. Can I nail something down about this, about this Ted Cruz being at the game? So it's, I've, like Jason said, I've only seen one photo, which is of Ted Cruz and a couple of people, but which is like framed in a way

that it could be anywhere. Like I'm not super familiar with the club layout at DKR. This could be taken anywhere. But if it's not, If it's true, you know, the Ted Tank curse, the Cancun cooler is clearly still in effect. If it's not true, the fact that it is prevalent enough to be circulated as a way of cursing Texas, that's bad enough. Yeah, and I think like the fact that it's effective as a tease, the fact that it's effective as a hoax is already damning. Yeah, if he wasn't there, it's because he knows that it's a thing.

And that doesn't count. You don't get to get out of the curse by saying, like, well, I'll just not show up. It's like, no, you have to show up and they have to win. That's how you break the curse. This doesn't count. Dude, the real question is, where's he going to go? I guess that'll depend. No, it won't depend on the election, but where's he going to go for Thanksgiving?

Yeah, so he's got to be there. He has got to be there. But which sideline? Yes. Yes. Oh, God. Oh, no. We created the Omni Ted.

you need to get you need to also invite and maybe to break this up like consider this this Kevin Durant was there tonight and he was not the most online sensitive person in the building I got and we've got there there's folks in the comments talking about like the Ted Cruz curse and being believable or not this isn't there's nothing to it being believable. He shows up and they lose. This happens over and over and over again. There's no

this is not a thing that we have had to construct. This is a real thing that happens. Hey, did you know they brought Joe Rogan to the false flag game? Oh, Texas. You don't have to be this way. Just it's fine. Just bring Mr. Beast out next

week. I can't do that way. Never mind. Not good time. I'm going to give these, yeah, Mr. Beast will come out, I'm going to give these refs the gift of sight. God, I am, I am excited, Mr. B's joke. I am excited that we are, I am excited that we are now experiencing world where we still live in the Big 12 version of it where it's like, oh, it's all, the refs are rigging it for Texas, but we also live in the non-Big 12 world of, yeah,

Texas still lost by two touchdowns. like it's not very, it's not very effective, but it's happening. It's the world's worst conspiracy. I was reminded tonight, so I had a field pass. And yes, it is the world's worst conspiracy. But do you know what is, do you know what? I was reminded that it sucks to play Georgia. That's what it is. Because if you're at field level, I saw that first sack on Ewers where, not the first sack, but the sack where they hit him and he fumbles. Yes. I have never understood a fumble more

Like they hit him so fucking hard That like he shook Like he visibly quivered The ball goes out And I remember thinking That's exactly what anyone should do In that situation Like if somebody behind me

Had done the announcer thing And gone Oh you gotta hold on the ball In that situation I'm like fuck you man Did you see how hard they just hit him Like it sucks Because every time you hear a play finish up

You can hear it audible you're like this is brutal both teams both teams obviously play real hard hit real hard but god damn they beat up on quinn ewers can we get like a five-minute moratorium on the phrase visibly quivering after we've been talking about ted cruz more um spencer because you were there you would have missed it i don't know when i will get tired of uh us of announcers mentioning that archmanning is fast and his uncles are fucking not but it's not yet. I'm not there yet. I'm still enjoying it every time

they're like, oh, there goes Arch Manning. You know who's fucking slow? You lie in Payton. It's great because they could do the normal boring announcer thing because his dad and his grandpa both had wheels for what they were. But no.

No. No. We're going to make fun of the pair of our moire uncles. Who are your co-workers because it's an ABC game? It's so good. I'm not talking about it. I genuinely love it. Keep this up forever.

Like it's, at one point maybe it will become like, oh, these two are roommates and you are sick of it, but I don't know when that will happen. It's pretty delightful. Because you know it's genuinely irritating Peyton and Eli is sitting somewhere

and being like, that's so true. We can only do this with physical attributes of athletes that are paid to do this. Like, we really should do this with other things. Like, yeah, man, his uncles fucking awful with money.

terrible with money, just indebted their families. Jesus Christ, absolute idiot. You give them $20 a seat, throw it in a hole in the ground. Phil Steele, next year's magazine, better have uncle details on every quarterback in college football. I want to know how these uncles stack up. It's like Madden 08 or whatever, where your creative players, like, what job do your parents have? We're going to do that, but with uncles. Yeah.

You actually get all your jeans from your uncles. It's crazy. Can we get an uncle slider? The uncle slater. Man, I put all the sliders up in my uncle. He's a fucking freak. What is the worst relation to be judged by? Is it your uncles?

Like, just generally for the average person. I mean, I would say great-grandparent just based on, like, how many directions that could go. How many things were legal at the time? Hold on. I'm going to dip back and go, great-uncle, because you're like, morphine addict. Yeah. Yeah. Inverate gambler.

Faked his own death. Legal murderer. What does that mean? I was going to say nephews, but I don't think any of my nephews owned people, so. Amateur veterinarian. Oh, oh, oh, freelance veterinarian. Freelance veterinarian. Wondering veterinarian. Shade tree veterinarian. Did you guys ever play? Were you guys kids who played weird board games that you could only buy at the independent bookstore when you were teens, or did you guys have friends?

or did you guys have friends? Like what? Can you give an example? I don't know. I'm thinking of a very specific game called Pain Doctor, the game of self-surgery. What's that about?

In which the name of the hospital was suit yourself general. That's good. I had one on a computer at some point where it was like you're during surgery with a mouse and I have no, there was some whole, you know,

you're supposed to do all the correct steps or whatever. And I'd always forget one. And it would let out this screen. that, you know, shitty, like, 90s computer sound effects, there's way, way, way too loud. And it was pretty affecting that

incredibly loud sound. Do you think it was meant to dissuade you from, like, hey, don't do surgery on you? I mean, yeah, that might have been it. But it was definitely no way that you could, like, hey, I'm going to make this guy bleed for fun. It was like, no, it was going to be unpleasant for you. Right, right.

I'm sorry. I just looked this up on board game geek. subtitle of this game was the game of recreational surgery which is the phrase I was trying to reach for cow football Vanderbilt

has won three games in a row do you know the last time they did that against three FBS teams in a single season 1984 that is the kindest thing anyone has said in a long time about ball state football yeah it's still It's exactly accurate. And the answer is 2013.

Yeah, the James Franklin here, yeah. Yeah. They are so close to bowl eligible. It's great. We're going nuts here in Nashville, guys. All they got to do is beat Auburn. So I saw my brother-in-law this week, and I asked him about the game, and he got this very far off look at his eye, and he said, I've watched so much bad football for 30 years that I still don't understand. understand how that could happen in this universe like he still doesn't he doesn't believe that it like he was there and he's like I really it's going to take it like it's as if winning is such a foreign concept to him that like he's like the chimp who just got let out of like the test facility who's seen the sun for the first time yeah yeah what is that ball of burning gas what is

the allegory of the cave you're doing yeah what is this what is this light in my heart yeah Is that the longest sentence he's ever said? Yeah. You know, it's 100%. He's just like, he was going places when he was telling me about Banderbilt football. That I was like, I feel like we need a professional in the room for this. I mean, this is a professional what? I just realized that we are only like a few South Carolina miscues away from Bama being on a three-game losing streak.

Yeah. I mean, and I hit you with four earlier. It's even closer than that. That's true. We're so close. It's pretty bad. It's great. It's definitely different.

It's definitely different. That's for sure. Listen, this is shaping up to be, yes, the most chaotic, unpredictable, whatever, volatile season since 2007, and I'm okay with that. Are you okay with that even if it means that Florida wins enough that they keep Napier? Oh, as long as that recruit, right now we have like the number 383rd ranked recruiting class in the nation. He could win the rest of the games and they'd still take a look at that in Canem. Because if anything, showing that this team is capable of something makes us want to take the talent that we have and get it away from him. because his chances of developing it are so admittable.

I have no opinion on the Florida football gators at this point. It is an object I cannot observe or control. It just seems like the responsible. Man, I thought you were kidding. Your 2025 class is 47th. Yeah. Cool. Would you like to know who your neighbors are above and below?

Would love to. The good news is you're too above Florida Atlantic. Mm-hmm. and you are ooh, ooh, you are also Oh, they're tied You are two above Florida Atlantic Which is also tied with South Florida

Florida and right above you is Wake Forest and Virginia Those are good schools Those are excellent schools Those are great schools You'd be happy to send your kids to those schools Mainly Florida Atlantic Eight spots above you is Mississippi State

And above them is Pitt Hey, that's undefeated That's not fair Like, what are we supposed to compete with Pitt? What are you going to do? Be undefeated? Yeah, what is the recruiting pitch Florida is going to win against Pitt? Let's be reasonable here.

Whatever it is, they're going to spell it with two T's. I'm interested in living in a place with a lot of bridges. Fuck! We can't beat them! Hey, listen, less and less bridges every day. That's true. The earth is retaking them. Yeah.

That's a dead man walking. He's so dead. Everything you're seeing now, Just interesting fingernails of the corpse of the Napier era. It also occurred to me watching, this is entirely unrelated. So Miami narrowly beaning Louisville, I'm so excited that like Miami fans are going to pretend like everything we said about Clemson for years and the ACC is brand new. And just because people don't like Miami. Like it's just going to be like, oh, you don't think the schedules are any good?

What about this? It's like, yeah, man, this is just what we say about ACC teams. It's what we will always say about ACC teams. I don't want to get into, I don't want to eat up our midweek show. But have you looked at the five remaining hilarious potential losses from Miami? No. I mean, look, every game is a potential loss. Do I think they're going to beat all these teams?

I don't know. But losing each one would be funny in a different way. Also, the idea that you can't actually, that they're like, yeah, man. Miami as an organization, like this is a mature organization that's just deep and like it's a, it's a machine. Mario Cristobal's built a machine. First of all, Mario Cristobal is Homer with the grill when it comes to recruits. Okay. An American classic?

Yes. And also somebody who has used Cam Ward to paper over everything that might be wrong with that team. That's it. That's the most college. thing to do, frankly. It is. It is 100% that. But like, yeah, just rub some Cam Ward on it. Just put some Cam Ward. Apply Cam Ward directly to this problem. And he'll take care of it. And that's fine, because I wish it was something my team could do. That would be delightful. But, but I'm already thinking ahead and going, man, what is this team next year? Like, the, like, the rebound from this is going to be spectacular. Well, it's also just like, who fucking can, like the way. Especially the way it works now, if you just win, it doesn't matter what any of us think. It really doesn't matter what any of us think about your resume, how you're winning these games. It's totally irrelevant.

Respect is a currency with no value in college football. It gets you nothing. It means absolutely zero. Go balls. It says, you're Miami. You don't need to be loved. That's your whole thing. Stop it.

Stop pretending like you want our respect and admiration. You don't. You want to spin at us and tell us we're poor. We are. We are. At least we're not sinking into the ocean. Northwestern's like about that. You know, we're done playing.

I saw this from the Sickos Committee. We're done playing at the Oceanside, the Lakeside Stadium now. It's on to Wrigley for the rest of the season. Oh, yeah, because that every game. there are played totally normally. Very fun. Yep. A statement from the SEC office on the pass interference call in Texas, Georgia.

Do we have a statement on Kirby yet? I hope this statement just reads, yes, they deserve to die, and I hope they burned in hell. Kind of. We have to save all of our Mississippi burning metaphors for the Egg Bowl. Oh, no, shit. That was time to kill, wasn't it? I'm sorry. I can never keep them straight either, frankly.

Did you know they made a time to kill musical? We'll talk about that later. I didn't know that. I didn't. The game of, did you have to, did you have to be very wet and oily to participate in it? Did you have to be covered in Vaseline? I said we'll talk about later.

What's the statement? The game officials gathered to discuss the play, which is permitted to ensure the proper penalties enforced, at which time the calling official reported that he erred and a foul should not have been called for defensive pass interference. Consequently, Texas was awarded the ball at the nine-yard line. while the original evaluation and assessment of the penalty was not properly executed, it is unacceptable to have debris thrown onto the field at any time.

Here's the kicker. The disruption of the game due to debris being thrown onto the field will be reviewed by the conference office related to SEC sportsmanship policies and procedures. You're going to get a trash fine, Texas. It's going to be a busy week for them. because Tennessee tore down the goalpost and took the field. By the way, Kirby, post game kept that up by saying, now we've set a precedent.

Man, Jason, he's listening to this podcast. He's listening to us right now. We're going to hear of what was like precedent. Now we've set a precedent that if you throw a bunch of stuff on the field and endanger athletes, you've got a chance to get your caller first. Absolutely. It's called Trash Court. Welcome to Trash Court, Kirby.

Welcome back, Judge Catfish. Holly, given the amount of legal trouble Georgia's had this offseason, and I'm not surprised Kirby has learned terms like press. Nope, you're absolutely right. Never mind. Yeah, that's it. Just Judge Catfish sit there going, So my ain't pile of trash I have to consider.

Here's my question. Who is the school that's going to try this next? Let's see, looking at the... This is a schedule game question. Yeah, this is a schedule game question. So the next team to host a game is at none other than Pitbull Stadium. So shit might get festive. Bring your trash.

Like, I want, I want to see some fan group do it for the most meaningless call. I got a dark horse, I got a dark horse contender. Okay, what you got? Just based on temperament? Based on a lot of things about this game. But Liberty at Kennesaw. That's, I was going to say, that's the Wednesday nighter next week. So it should be contentious in the crowd, if not on the field.

I am going to, I was going to go ahead and suggest Nebraska, Ohio. state so many vape cartridges so many vape cartridges just right i need i need something i need i need here give me this one syracuse at pit pit pit fans the mid the most minuscule call like i'm talking delay of delay of game pelt the field with trash boo overturn it he he snapped the ball there was time left on the clock why are you throwing half-eaten schmuffins on the field just do it all game all game every call, even the ones in your favor. Like, be equanimous about it.

Ooh. Throw the, when the call is in your favor, throw shit because it should have been even more. That's right. That's right. I got a good one. I got a good one for that, that particular genre. Okay. Week 10, Ole Miss in Arkansas.

I shall build my castle from Zintins. So next week, we do have the LSU A&M SEC Championship. Yes. Oh, that's got, yeah, just bring all the trash guys. Also a very, very disgruntled Alabama fan base

is hosting the zoo. I want at some point the announcers to be like, how do they have more trash to throw? How are they not out of trash? They have built a trash generator. BBQ.gov raises an excellent question

for those of you familiar with how they can port themselves on campus. I'm sorry. is UGA complaining about littering? I thought that was just called freedom. Yeah, there's a social contract. You sign this, I get to do what I want. I'm going to make a political cartoon with just like the quivering bosom of North Campus

in Athens as Lady Liberty. It can happen here. I really hope in his Monday morning presser Kirby Smart is like, I want to talk to you all about the tragedy of the comments. It takes all of us to make a greater world. I hope next week's riot game is Wake Stanford. Yeah. I hope tensions run so high in that game.

I've got a fun one with two very different kinds of trash. Okay. How about, I'm looking forward to week 10 again, but how about UMass at Mississippi State? Sure. Culture clash trash. sure why not we brought these donkeys we bought these donkeys cups down here specifically for this purpose have we covered all the games we want to cover because if we have i have one more thing i want to do let's let's get to it yeah Doug can you play can you play the maryland call just one more time

thank you thank you oh no disaster what a bad idea remember kids remember that's that's promo code full cast dart to get $50 instantly when you play your first $5 lineup on prize picks that's right prize picks run your game this program has been brought to you by guess who prize picks good night oh no laugh. Thank you. Oh no disaster!

What a bad idea!