Shutdown Fullcast - Fullcast After Dark: Why Bama Should Make The Playoff Anyway

Episode Date: December 4, 2022

SHOW NOTES Championship games, dissected! An appearance by the mysterious fourth Gruden! Nick Saban has to shill for his team against his will in several directions, lol Many metaphors for USC's tackling of Utah are entertained! The two brain halves of this show finally fuse together just in time to create rassling legend XXXtetson Bennett In this house we respect Kelee Ringo! We (the podcast) have taken over the AFC East ALTERNATIVE PLAYOFF SOLUTIONS FOR UNHAPPY PARTIES INCLUDE: Hell With A 12-Team Playoff We Made A Five Team Playoff; Put Bama In No Matter What; Give TCU The One Seed; Give Bama Two Playoff Spots As Stewards Of The Game; Discarding All Possible Four Seeds And Drafting A New One Holly has some theories Inventing the anti-get back coach Gratitude list! Not a joke!! Ryan looks back on a year as The Only Emotionally Balanced Ohio State Fan A&M didn't play this weekend but we have some things to say about Jimbo anyway Visit sunny preownedairboats.com Learn more about your ad choices. Visit podcastchoices.com/adchoices

Did y'all see the Vince Dooley commercial? Undead Vince Dooley? Yeah, they've been running it since the day after he died. I have not, I had not seen that before today, and I did not know they were still running it. Hi, I'm Vince Dooley from Beyond the Grieve. Anyway, it's campaigned had Vince Dooley cut for Herschel. I'm in heaven here with Greg Allman. But just the two of us, that's it.

That's it. Why is Ronald Reagan here? Oh, goodness. It's so true. It's just Greg wearing his mask again. Mm-hmm. Haven't seen him. Hey, I just started the space.

Want to join? Garsh. Goofy, present at the crucifixion of Jesus. I love that. There's already like 100 people there before us. Ryan, I don't see you, and I also don't see any listeners. Ha! ha!

I've entered the space. Yes, I see some. 687 listeners. It says a bunch of people are listening, but it doesn't. Yeah, I can't see any of them. They've tried to destroy us for years, but they couldn't. Holly's still mute. Holly, unmute.

I still only see, I can't see myself in there. You're going to have to unmute me. Enter the chaos realm. I, because I can still only see Doug and Jason. Are you sure Ryan's in here? It says I am. Ryan, Cooper Commander is my favorite voice. I says I can't on YouTube

Yeah Holly fetch three chaos emeralds to enter the space Hey someone someone tweeted Elon He's I mean he's he's All he does is sit by his phone waiting to reply to people That's true At all hours Faith is what will care

Faith is what will carry the full cast this night Keep using that voice All right Doug I'm sending a request Wait okay Wait I think I got it Summon more children I got it space Tell them we have candies

And actioned figures Hello, Cobra Commander Is that what that is? I don't know what I just named it that That's what she's decided It's like a modernized Samford, welcome For a voice actor who won't

But also like Elizabethan somehow It's like modernized because that way you don't wear out The voice actor It's actually what I did Dickens What I realize is it's actually a very specific Venture Brothers character, but this entirely... It's one of the evil council members. It's the two that are grafted together and their heads are both growing out of the same body. Let's see if I can get James Urbaniac in the space.

That'd be fun. Hey, we're over a thousand. Hey, we're over a thousand. Launch the show, Spencer. Press the button. Oh, that used to be... That was the voice you were using. ask uh to talk to like as like antioch's harold oh that's that's what it was that's like when you

were like asking children to tell antioch their favorite ice cream bring forth bring forth your young to bring forth brittany to meet the birthday lord himself spencer press the button god Full cast after dark for men Welcome to the full cast after dark. Happy birthday! It went so long, it became funny. Yeah.

Oh, no! Obligatory wolf how welcome to the only college football recap show on this here internet. Pray with us that the one person overseeing everything at Twitter right now is only focusing on the high-end performance of this here stream. Engineer Darrow, we salute you for your efforts. Somebody who's sleeping under their desk right now at Twitter. Sleeping?

Yeah, sleep. Fired, gone. Fired, gone. Fired. Elon, you should fire that guy who's sleeping. Absolutely. Absolutely, yeah. But yes, this is the championship edition of the full cast after dark because champions only this week.

And by the way, that means, yeah, that means, by the way that UNC is not invited. Because, God damn. Aw. Oh, you wanted us to pay attention to you, ACC. I don't think that's, I don't think that's true. Listen, there are lots of years, there are lots of years where that is true, but I can honestly say at no point did the ACC, like, do the whole witness me thing. No. No, okay.

The witness me thing. There was one. When? There was one witness me moment. I want to say it was Clemson's fourth touchdown. of the evening in which a down the sideline over the shoulder football into a mailbox if the mailbox was the size of a bread box and being cradled in the arms of a freshman who was so far down the depth chart that he wasn't on any of the depth charts that they had in the television booth

caught a it would have been a touchdown pass he did a he did an amazing charleston the dance move up to the one yard line. It resulting in one of, I think the best pile on camera shot that I have personally seen this year and I love a good pylon shot. And thankfully they had to do a quick, you know, just in case review

to see if he stepped out, which gave the booth crew time to shuffle through their papers and realize that this kid who had just caught a, what was Clemson's longest pass of the season, had played, here let's let's let's see uh over under uh closest without going over ryan how many snaps would you say this kid played this season 12 jason uh one damn it spencer uh i know the answer okay uh ryan is

closest without going over yes played eight snaps this year all of them in the miami game i went over i won and dabbo davis this is a this is a reverse that jason wins a lot of things Anyway, Davo and Davo trotted him out and winged a touchdown pass to him. I think just to be an enormous bitch, which for once I respect. All right. So the ACC made us pay attention twice this time and when they blocked LSU's extra point in a week one. That's it. Other than that, other than that, ACC, hey, guess what?

You all completed your season. That counts. Real quick, just to talk about more important conference. Impossible. Let's shout out our Twitter space representatives. Montana State, Incarnate Word, Sacramento State, and the Samford Bulldogs, all advancing to the FCS quarterfinals. Congratulations. It pays to attend the full cast after dark.

It's putting in homework and it's paying dividends on the field. Yeah, the football secrets. The tape we grind, the plays we draw on this space. That shows up around 1.30 a.m. Eastern. You'll see. Yeah, grind. We really make you earn it. Grint, that's why we're on late. Because we've been grinding, not for any other reason.

Quad, Gruden comes on, the mysterious fourth Brudon. Quad. I call this guy quad because he's an ATV with a soul. Four with four gallbladder. Because he's a dog. Yeah. Because he's the dog, Gruden. Dog Gruden.

We treated him just the same. Terribly. but he got a job with the Raiders He did Hey listen he got a job with the Raiders Because you have to be You have meritocracies everything in the NFL What better way to talk about a

Playoff shifting championship weekend Then talk about the Las Vegas Raiders In Clemson football I think we've really covered You know what let's just wrap it Let's just wrap it right there So speaking of two teams that'll Not make the playoff

Definitely definitely not Who is this guy throwing the 17 tweet thread in our mentions about John Gruden at 1230 at night on championship Sunday? Is it Roger? Is it Quad Gruden? It's nobody I'm aware of. It's Quad Gruden. Sir, I'm sorry or I'm happy for you, but I'm not reading all that.

Did Quad Gruden suppress Hunter Biden's dickpicks? Is that what happened? I think he's mad that something, something about. Well, is this about USF? He thinks USF was never considering Gruden. Yeah, that's not actually true. Sorry. Yeah, USF was considering their wallet, y'all.

Sorry. Okay, so those talks really happened. It's not my fault. I didn't make them. So what this actually is about is about Dion Sanders, though. That is correct. Who did not take the USF job, who did take the Colorado job. Yeah, I don't understand that on either side, but I suppose we don't have to talk about this now.

Colorado is nicer than. Tampa. Okay, I guess, dude, I mean, Matt, I think you, his name is Matt. Matt, I think you need to go to bed for a little bit because you have both Ole Miss and Notre Dame in your bio and you are calling USF's fan base toxic. Are you okay? Yeah. You don't have to, hey, it's okay not to be okay. Yeah, man, go to bed.

Do you, we're going to command you. Go to bed. Sorry, I got distracted because he was dropping like paragraphs in my mentions. Usually those are Bible verses. Jason, what were the two teams you wanted to talk about that aren't making the playoffs? This could be many. Oh, that was Clemson and the Raiders.

But let's see. Actually, let's talk about a couple of teams that won't make the playoff. Texas A&M, we haven't mentioned them yet this week. Listen, they won that LSU game. You know who didn't beat LSU is another team that won't make the playoff. The Alabama Crimson Tide. I'm saying this on a record. that will probably not be published to our feed until after the rankings are out,

that's fine. The Alabama Crimson Tide will not make the playoff. Okay, but Nick Saban said that they should because they're very good. Nick Saban said they should because he knows of some computers that say Alabama would probably beat TCU in a game that won't happen. I think there's a very simple metric why Alabama should get in. we should we should prioritize for picking playoff uh playoff participants how many times they've previously been in the playoffs and under that metric it should be Alabama and that will be true

next year and the year after that and and for for time immemorial it's just sort of a feedback loop Alabama Ohio State Clemson and Oklahoma that's your playoff forever right right and like for a while that was kind of true so why shouldn't it still be true Why wouldn't we go back to a simpler time? We liked those games, didn't we? Most of them were, the title games were good. They were good games, folks. The semifinals were horrible, but the title games were good.

Right. Yeah. So what is, by the way, like... Michigan's only been in the playoff once. Why are we letting them back in? Get that shit out of here. We shouldn't. TCU, we kept them out the first time for a reason.

Nick got talked into that shit, right? And that sucks because, like, they're like, you know, Nick, you're going to go on. You're going to say we're good. Nick's like, we're shit. We're absolute shit We don't need They deserve to go anywhere And the PR's like

Nick you can't say that And he's like Fuck you I can say anything I want Like imagine Nick Saban Ever in his life Talking up his team as a favorite He was like We should get in the playoff

Because we'd be favored To beat the other bubble teams Yes Nick Sabin Hates the idea of being favored Nothing disgusts him more Like say they get in Say they put them at number four

Despite dropping two games And not beating anyone better Than TCU's second best win Say they fuck around And put them in For no good reason Saban is immediately going to flip. We are the biggest underdogs here because we are piles of shit, and I hate all of you.

No, immediately. He won't even have to. In this capacity, he'll just say, the media said that. The media. It was me being Sabin on TV. It was me, Austin. Some asshole was going around on the halftimes of championship Saturday. When you scumbags weren't even good enough to play football that day, this asshole was saying you'd beat Ohio State.

How dare that guy, whoever he was. Also, things that Nick Saven hates while we're on it, playing more football games. She could be recruiting. He could be recruiting. That's not me saying that. That's Nick. That is Nick saying that. Nick has said that in public, on record.

In a magazine. He said it's multiple times. But he went on TV tonight. It was just like, well, Bam is good. You want good teams, don't you? I didn't get to see this live, and I kind of. I wish I had because I have I have seen Nick bullshit in many directions but never in a direction where he wants the duality of the pull of I really don't want to be in the

fucking playoffs but also I really don't want to have the press acknowledge my team as being better than I think they are yeah he's just got a lie and like but he's doing he has to do it in two different directions it's very Billy Flynn see like the pro we're going to get back to the god mac brown here for a second at one point mac brown in the bcs era um had to lie and say that texas was more qualified than cal now i'm going to say this that was a really good mac did this era to mac did this every year that was great man you'd just be watching you'd just be watching like the view and mac would pop up and be like max annual bcs tap dance thing was a sight to behold children did i mention we were better yeah like he would just get on and he would say whatever

shit and you'd love it because you were like god he loves lying that man just loves to lie about his team you know who else won a title game because their coach was good at lying to the media would be the florida caters in 2006 that is correct that is correct count it count it so it was a trend for a while young you young folks might not believe this but there was a there was a there was a while there were like coaches could just sort of talk their way into title games but this is you all think we're good wouldn't it be wouldn't it be great if this applied to the NFL as well Well, wouldn't it be fucking awesome if you were like, I'm sorry, Mike McCarthy. I know Dallas is having a good year, but we really need you to go make the argument.

You just don't have much charisma. More of those idiots talking, please. Andy Reed accepted. Andy Reed, after seeing him on the state farms every year, please put Andy Reed in charge of the playoff committee. Andy Reed's the airplane one. I'm going to find somebody. I'm going to find the guy who did this. That's great shit.

Yeah. The delivery is top-notch. Absolutely top-nitch. He can break down his mac and cheese recipe or grueling. grilled cheese, whichever it was he gave to Charles Mac and Cheese. Mac and Cheese, yeah. Also, one thing that I did not know, I didn't know there was a coded of that story until earlier this year. Apparently Charles brought up that story in a subsequent job interview and texted Andy Reed to tell him that he had gotten the job, and Andy Reed responded in all caps, let's eat!

It's so pleasing. That's absolutely wonderful. Yeah, he's the second best. football actor, the first being Bryce Young, who won a dramatic performance in the Fansville commercial, is genuinely disturbing. That was so good. Bryce Young is excellent. He's got that, like, Greg Burlantee face. And that's why Alabama should be in the play. Listen to everything you're saying. Yeah. You know who's the worst actor in the Heisman house is Kyler Murray? Tibo's up there. Yeah, you know what he's thinking

about? Call of Duty. I was going to say baseball. Tebow's, unfortunately, I think, pretty good, usually because he's just playing the public character of Tebow, Kyler Murray is, he'd rather be gaming. It's clear. It is kind of a shame now that you mention this, because if Kyler Murray had played baseball, there has never been a baseball player who it's like, oh, he's playing too much video games.

We're worried that he's not caring enough about it. Like, all baseball players, they're like, please, just like, don't injure yourself in some stupid hot tub accident. That's our preference. Baseball players are basically like carrying a Labrador around anywhere. They're like, don't eat that. That's a rock. In your mouth, spit it out.

In Major League Baseball, be like, Kyler Murray is one of the smartest people we've ever met because he plays video games. All right. Offseason Project Children's Book called Spit It Out, Mike Trout. Yeah. The Angels, another team that won't be making the playoffs. Where are they based in Los Angeles? Who else isn't making the playoff?

USC is not making the playoff. God damn. Let's go. This is all we're talking about for the next 15 minutes. So the Angels and USC, quite possibly both of them have the two best players. Correct. Correct. Yep.

Yep. Not going to matter. Not going to matter. It's not going to matter. Because it turns out you need more than two guys. It's basically the problem for both those teams. Not going to matter because Utah beat that ass. Utah beat that ass.

We tell you time and time again, Utah just waiting to beat the. some ass. What did they do? They beat some ass. I think we actually started this year for once for the first time ever by saying let's love Utah from the start of the season instead of remembering halfway through the season that we love Utah. USC tackled in that game like an unconfinent parent trying to dress a toddler. No, they tackled like if you could just stop it. They tackled like they were swing dancing and they were expecting their partner to like flip their legs around and instead they just fell over i think they i think we can all we can all have our own personal interpretation i think they tackled like someone who is administering the birthday party trying someone else's kid is trying

to escape and you're not entirely comfortable with like am i allowed to just scoop this kid up like it's mine but if i don't it's the kid's going to run out into the street get out of the street This kid smells really bad I don't want to touch this kid If you've ever tried to catch a cat Spencer what do you think the tackling was like If you've ever tried to catch a cat And it starts to sink a claw into you

And you're like whoa whoa whoa This thing's got this thing's got nails That's what it was like Every time they got close to one It was like oh this is way harder Than I thought it was gonna be I told my friends I could beat up a bear Now fucking house cats

This is this is absolutely like Yeah I'm gonna kick that possum's ass And then you're like Ah I'm holding a possum this fucked up yeah so yeah USC found itself facing to staring down

the terrible talons of the Utah possums I think at one point in the third quarter they looked up and they're like USC has 22 mistackles tonight in the third

fucking quarter it was fucking astounding because obviously this game turned a lot on I don't well no it probably is the most significant

quarterback Reconjury of the year. I think that's probably... And he was still really good. Like, that's the same thing. Yeah. But at the time, when Caleb Williams got hurt, I believe it was what, 14-3, 17-3, something like that?

Something like that, yeah, yeah, right around half-time. Utah scored a lot of points after that. A lot. Utah finished his game with 47 points, and they're just all over the place. they're just like 237 yards uh sorry 223 yards rushing on 35 attempts it's not good it's not good at all 310 yards passing on 34 attempts that's also not good just like yeah man but you know what cam rising do you know what cam rising can do you can hit a five yard out to a tight end baby that's what he can and then and then the then the tight end runs for another 20 yards

He can, yes, because again, the guy attempts to tackle him, and the tight end goes, you don't really want to do this, do you? Hey, we can both walk away here. We can both walk away. We can both go home to our families if you simply don't tackle me. It's like, your dad made you play, right? He's like, dad made me play. Yeah.

I think your father loves you regardless of whether you tackle me or not. Probably. Just let me walk on task. The one where they're tied end, the Australian tight end, by the way, I know at the time was like, sports easy. They don't even touch you. That's great.

I know that on that one, that was the one where I was like, they would like to go home now. They would like to go home. Like at no point in the third or fourth quarter did that defense think, you know what? I'm really enjoying competition

and being with my friends. They're like, I'm tired. I would like to be somewhere else. Imagine being told that like, independent of this era and not knowing much about, you know, the last decade of USC football, if you're just sort of a time travel traveler being dropped into a random era and you're told USC is going to bring on a coach who has, you know, one power conference and won multiple Heismans, and he's going to bring a ton of talent with him.

USC is going to go undefeated against everyone, but Utah. Twice. In the bag. Done. Little Utah. is going to ruin a quite loaded, at least on one side of the ball, just one side of the ball, U.S.C. team. And USC, at one point in the fourth quarter of this game, which again was a blowout, USC cut it to 2724.

And then two plays later. The defense immediately was like, oh, this is too much pressure. Absolutely not. You guys can see us? No. Are we on TV when we play our side? Oh, no. Please, no.

can you guys go watch something else there's a lot of things on i don't like utah yeah have you seen andor there are 10 episodes you can start now did you know george lucas went to usc look i'm advertising this is this is networking um yeah i this is i want to do i wanted to counter like one little critique that i saw which was which was like oh wow a lincoln riley team came up in a situation against a more physical team and look what happened and I'm like all right I recognize that that is I recognize that that is a phenomenon that has happened before however dude this is year one this is much as we would love to clown on Oklahoma and USC at the same time yeah like I don't think this was that I want to put it this way I'm going to reserve the delicacy the delicacy that will be pointing out a Lincoln Riley team

getting absolutely hitting the chops with a brick when this is actually a Lincoln Riley team right like that's what I want to save it for so like two years I ain't waiting we've seen we've seen a full Lincoln Riley team and it look like this no it's fair it's it's also like if you look at the if you look at the first Utah game and they didn't bring him to USC to not be Lincoln Riley after all yeah be yourself I'm kind of convinced. They didn't get beat on the ground as badly, but they, Camerizing through for 415 yards and ran for three touchdowns. So like, you lost the first game 43, 42. If your defense couldn't get their shit together enough to be like, no, we're not. I mean, this is the same USC team

that beat Arizona by eight and gave up 37 points. They beat Cal by six and gave up 35 points. Inexcusable. That's the one where you're like, what did you do? You gave up 35 to fucking Cal. Cal doesn't want 35 points. No, no. Cal is like, what do we do with this? We don't have the storage for that. We live in a studio, we live in a studio apartment.

We don't even have a TV. Considerate gift, God. USC, their turnover margin on the year was plus 21. That is stupid. Like, the wheels were going to fall off this thing. That's, that's, that's the kind of turnover margin where you're like, I'm good at slots. I'm super good at slots. I think it's 21 after this game.

I think it was even bigger entering this game. You miss the announcers, by the way, during this game, talking about that as though it was an immutable stat. Yes. God loves me and never will stop. I have a Cam Rising theory that I would like to float, and I'm going to see if I can make this land the way I want it to land, because to be clear, it is on record.

We love Utah, and this is a compliment. Cam Rising is the anti-Stetson Bennett By which I mean He's way better than he looks Oh interesting Like no one who has that many different arm motions When throwing a football Should be this good at getting the football

To land in the arms of people trying to catch the football Right Like what is the spiritual opposite of a mailman The spiritual opposite of a mailman Let's see a mailman appears Package thief I was going to say male bomber. Arsonist.

Wow. She was called the Unabomber. Cam, anthrax rising. I don't know. But does that make sense? Cam Ryson is what you're saying. Jesus. See, this is why I bring it to the group.

Because I had a kernel of an idea, and Ryan can make it bloom into a poisonous plant. Damn, go. Yeah, now it's terrible and bad. Also, Utah should just be in the playoff. Yeah. just for being cool yeah like the 12 team's gonna be awesome because you know what utah Utah is clearly like I'm gonna quote boo corgan here we value conference champions okay value them do it well when you get the when you get the 12 team the coolest thing is that Utah who's like yeah bro

I finally finished I finally figured out my cycle and my sleep and shit my dead lips going to the roof right like they're at that stage right now they would be absolutely hammering people also appreciate this that in a year where Oregon finally snapped their Utah thing where you Utah was just beating the shit out of them. And finally, Oregon got some of their dignity back and was like, oh, okay, cool, cool. We can beat Utah. Utah was like, hmm, well, who am I going to abuse now?

They just came in like, hey, bro, good day. The problem was Utah was, Utah was like, I yield my time to Oregon State. Oregon was like, shit. Fuck. Utah said we found some even prettier pretty boys to ugly up. Now you'll be ugly like me. ugly like my heart you'll feel the way I feel

every day. The U.S. He's out. Utah should be in but they won't be. Yeah. Bama's out additionally. They didn't do anything today because they didn't win their division. All right. Let's just ask. Ohio State. They're in. They're in. Are they three or four? A.W. Mueller has a great suggestion

where he says, can we compromise and leave the Alabama question unanswered and just say Ohio State shouldn't be in the playoff? Without further elucidation? I'm fine with this. Yeah, if we say neither of them and Tulane, then great. And Utah. Yeah, we're going to five. I mean, two lane season.

We can have a play in game that starts as soon as Army Navy is over. Tulane season was a lot harder than Alabama. Do you know why? Because Tulane went two and ten last year. Alabama didn't go two and ten last year. If Alabama had gone two and ten and then had this season, I'd be fucking. and impressed. Also, Tulane, unlike Bama, beat a conference champion. I hope they beat Kansas State. Yeah. Also, I'm not above, like, picking people based on

uniforms. I'm not. Sure. They look great. Also, you don't watch the games. Tulane is a better record than Alabama. They both lost twice. At Bama lost two games. Some people seem to forget that, but Tulane won an additional game because they won their conference, unlike Alabama. These are all just facts. I think South Carolina should be in the playoff. fuck it South Carolina two lanes Utah Michigan who says no

shit TCU sorry yeah it's got to be five that's the only yeah seriously play in game after Army Navy I have solved it you are welcome

so can I let's play out a little bit of comedy here great Georgia that is funny Georgia who had a lovely time today just a delightful

Georgia who did not need need freakish luck who immediately got freakish luck twice in the first quarter i want to poke a hole i want to poke a hole we've we've talked i've talked a lot this year about not having to see not having to see georgia hit another gear a lot very very early in the game before their superior talent and knocking aboutedness took over do you know what i think they were missing the and again this this is not a real this is not a real dis because it's the end of the season and they have done just fine and they put an entire defense into the first round of the NFL draft but do you know what they really could have used like at the start of this game

was the side-to-side teleportation ability of a Nikobi dean like the hashtag to hashtag movement yeah at least for a little while up at there at the beginning they were having some i don't know if i'd call it getting gashed inside but they were they were suffering some abrasions cutting through the middle where in in in a previous season i think if you looked in some of these spots you would have seen nikobie dean just materialize on the spot from the opposite hashtag there is a hashtag jesus christ there is a very anyway it didn't matter but there is a small but vocal group of georgia fans who are now my favorite objective curiosity because they are like keely ringo truthers they're like yeah ringo sucks

just because wait wait wait he gets beat all the time you want a guy who doesn't show up in the biggest game listen when you when you root for a really really really good team you got to keep it you have to make your own fun yes you have you absolutely have to create your own palace intrigue yeah yeah shouldn't you guys be focused on whether or not to save your travel budgets for the title game that's what bama people do now that no they're they're already there they're already in that sector and of picking a brick bat of picking like one thing that they're like yeah this guy sucks i'm like he had the game winning i want the guy who doesn't show up in your hour of greatest need that's mr clitch yeah dude that's your st bernard with a barrel of rum around

his neck show some goddamn respect he gets beat okay cool stance and bennett shows us up with water and a sensible snack. That's right. Also, a flyer. Carrots sticks frozen to his hands in the snowstorm. A flyer for the holiday sales head. Stetson Bennett, Kia of Waycross and Blackshare. That most sake of the festivals. Toyotathon.

That's right. It's the season for celebration here. It's Stetson Bennett, Kia of Blackshare and Waycross and Waycross and Blackshare. Get yourself into a new Kia Sorrento. Are we talking about the Heisman finalist? That's right. That's right, with 20 passing touchdowns shit.

I really enjoy that Sethson Bennett is going to be a Heisman finalist and most of his numbers are like oh damn, 1987's greatest quarterback is here. Hey, his completion percentage is one of the country's 20 best. There you go. There you go. He's throwing to eight armed

office buildings that run a four, three at tight end. Two of them. They have two of them. I'm sorry. I'm still mad about this. I'll be mad about this forever. How the fuck did you get two of those? Today, every time he checked down to the flat, I was just like completion percentage going up, up, up. Keep it moving up. That's a winner. That's a winner.

You know who threw a bunch of touchdowns his last year in college? Zach Wilson. You don't want that. You don't want that. Touchdowns are bullshit. You want to be Mike White. Yeah. um did i hear of a certain professional football club coming out with white mike shirts today uh you did you did white mike uh the jets are so excited about mike uh getting the job that yes they are making t-shirts that say like mike and i really hope they gave sack wilson one you got to make ones that say white mike or it doesn't work by the way who was it that invented the nickname white mike it was

this very podcast thank you yeah yeah sorry sorry folks for the detour to the NFL but you know We have to celebrate these moments when we were right all along. We're the only AFC East podcast. That is correct. Everyone knows that. Yes, lifelong Jets fans. That's the other reason why Bama should be in the playoff. Have you seen how good two has been this season?

Why aren't we rewarding that by putting Bama in the playoff? I can do this all night. I can come up with every statement. We know. We know. Yes, you can. I did want to also touch on this. that Jeff Brougham has paid a lot of money to coach Purdue football

and I'm not an engineer so you know my math is bad I can't wait to see where this is going you know what that man loves that man loves being down by two scores in different variations it's like a elementary school it is it's totally a kink where he's like well if I kick a field goal now I'll be less behind than I was before that makes sense to me though he's he's an offensive brain and he's loves the pressure of like oh we're going to need so much more offense it's all on me baby are you saying that he procrastinates by points he's like yeah we're going to put that off we're going to put

that off i i can't really i can't really get into the game plan unless you know i got serious pressure kick another field goal put us down we gotta stop calling things edging we're getting emails we're not getting edging fair what kind of edging email but also does that like doesn't matter because Purdue just made its first Big Ten championship game since they created the thing. Like, was there a universe where you were like, ah, if only, if only they'd done this touchdown playing? Like, that wasn't going to happen, not tonight. So, like, even if all their threes became sevens, is that enough? Well, God damn, that's a lot of threes.

It is a lot of threes. It is a lot of threes. I'm not pulling this out of thin. Actually, that's a lot of threes. That still doesn't do it. That's five field goals. add 20 points and they still lose by one. Oh shit.

Just a weird dude who also called, by the way, a fake flea flicker tonight, which is pretty sweet. That was awesome. That was kind of awesome. That was great. I mean, none of these things affect Donovan Edwards' rushing stats at all. It's the problem.

None of them do. The one-armed man. Just killing people left and right in the Midwest. That's what Donovan Edwards is. Also, by the way, somebody's going to get killed on that fake flea flicker like somebody's going to try that right they're going to call it be like call it it'll be so cool and the linebacker is just going to annihilate the running back when he turns his back can't wait oh thank you for reminding me I have another theory can we go back to the SEC sure okay stick with me here for a minute what year was the

kick six 2013 so the oldest kids on LSU's team are how old in 2013 this is A lot of math. I mean, county, okay, COVID year, fifth year seniors, they're 14 at most,

right? Yeah, yeah. Okay. If you have any relatives, uh, or were yourself playing football in 2013, you remember that if you're in high school,

you're still in the playoffs. Uh, if you're in college or at the tail of the regular season, what are you doing for the next week? You are doing live ball drills with the kick six while your coach yells at you about this being a teaching moment. This is conceivably. first generation of a football team to have come up completely unaware of what it's like to have to run a week of live ball drills following the kick six and like they didn't have that cultural synapse connection in their brains and that's why they kind of both teams kind of stood around laughing while uh what's his name scooped that up and ambled for a score uh yeah they had a camera on i blame the media is what i'm saying you should they had a camera

on George's coach's booth when that was happening, and they were all in the background going, no, no, no, no, no, no, no. And then he picked it up and started running. You're like, no, no, go, go, go, go, go. I thought it looked to me, like, Christmas seemed aware that, like, he seemed aware that he was going to be able to pick the ball up and advance it. But he was just sort of laying low waiting for LSU to wander off the field.

So, like, it looked to me like everyone in the building forgot the rule, except the one guy who mattered. And that was super convenient. No, I think he absolutely knew. I think the reason that the rest of his companions and opponents on the field were not prepared is that they were tweens when, or very young teenagers, when the actual kick six happened. And they did not have that, like, cultural touchstone. But the moment that will last from this game, if Jason is right and USC's tackling was trying to corral a child that is not yours and you don't know very well at a birthday party,

the tackle we saw in this game was your child is melting down at the grocery store and you're leaving right now you are absolutely leaving right now without saying a word that's what happened to Jane Daniels just absolutely like nope you will not act this way in Albertson sir

you will not he got Albert sunned like it was like a hoisting a trophy or setting someone up for a choke slam and then thinking better up of it. Yes. It was almost gentle in its own power.

It was like powerfully gentle. Like everyone is immediately like, oh my God, that's the most disrespectful thing I've ever seen. And it's like, I would rather be disrespected than choke slammed quite frankly. It could have been much worse. Let's put this in another frame. He got iron-gianted. George Foster said it.

George Foster said it looked like he was about to do a finishing move, right? Like, look into the crowd with the finger in there, like, Oh! Friendship. Yes. Babality. The other moment from actually, which was it this one where we had the Dr. Pepper toss ended in a bullshit tie?

Was it this one? I think that was the Big 12. Yes, but then there was enough. Regardless, we had the storyline throughout the day of the Dickensian Hunger Games Dr. Pepper scholarship toss like every year. And there was a tie in one of them, and it was revealed. immediately afterward that in fact the tiebreaker had been broken the day prior and it's the first time i've ever heard people booing the dr pepper scholarship because a just total bullshit surprise

storyline had been injected to it like oh actually this development you'd never thought about it's already been resolved for you hurry let's applaud dr pepper definitely question this or any other elements of the dr pepper where's where's dr pepper based out of why That would be Waco, Texas. Right. Where does TCU play? In Texas. That's why Bama should jump TCU for the playoff spot because they're not participating in soda-based scholarship fraud.

How do you know? They probably are. Okay, but it's light soda. It's diet soda-based scholarship fraud. Oh, bullshit. Cab fraud. There, um... There nothing died about it.

Come on. The one good thing the internet did today was so bully Dr. Pepper. that they gave both participants enough money to make it through like a semester of college. That's their fault for letting a Duke student and they're in the first fucking place. That's a trigger. That guy who was like, yeah,

I can have a real college experience now. And I'm like, he said like it was worse. He was like a proper college life. Yeah, and I'm like, a proper college life would be not having a hundred grand. I'll tell you what a proper college life is. It's my freshman year,

it's my freshman year roommate who got his car, side swiped in a parking lot while he wasn't in it, and use the insurance money to buy a stereo system for our dorm room and never repaired his car in any way shape or four. That is right. Go gaiters! Go gaiters! I did basically the same thing.

A pizza, I think it was pizza. Pizza driver slammed into the back of my truck, and with the insurance money, I forget which video games I bought, but it was quite a few of them. The truck was never repaired. I blew mine on liquor and eating out. It was great.

Phenomenal. Like, I got a, I got, like, some sort of, you're not going to tell us what the insurance money's from? No, it was an, that would be very floored if I didn't, but I think, I did turn a, I did turn a ruined truck into a trip to Paris. That was, that was what I did with mine. Sure. That's how, that's how you change a truck into a trip to the disco. My proper college experience was eating butterscotch pudding for breakfast. in a beer pitch that I had made in a beer pitcher that I stole from campus pub, go vals.

So is TCU going to make the playoff because otherwise the Big 12 will have to explain the officiating from the championship game? God, that'd be a neat trick. Like it feels like to some degree it's like, yeah, I don't know. It looks like he did get in on third and goal. We didn't review it anyway. Let's just make this not very important because these are real people with families. I mean, I give officials, like, officiating football is just damn near impossible.

Sure. Yeah, it's fucking impossible. Unless you have an overhead camera in a crucial moment where you might take a minute. What would we call it? But Spencer, surely the ball was invisible from this particular angle. It was clear as well. It was right there. Also, Sunny Dykes, what are you doing?

I'm not running a play. I'm going to take off all my clothes and get nude on TV to make you delay. I'm taking 15 delays of game until you review this play. I'm going to lay down and pretend to have a heart attack. Do the small child. Let's return to the small child in the grocery store

and just lay face down on the ground with your hands at your side and scream. Just imagine on camera looking over at Sunny Dikes is planking. He's just. just absolutely on the ground. Jesus, he's licking every canelope. God damn it, Sonny. Heaving and sobbing.

You said we can get ice cream cake. I didn't say that. I didn't. I'm so lighted at it. I think I just passed out for a second. Yeah. What are you doing, dude? Tell the entire team to lock their knees on the sideline until they all just tip over.

my other theory is that TCU read all the reports like I mean what we had three conference championship games where everybody was like these only matter for seating and I think if you are Georgia undefeated Georgia you're like yep that makes sense and if you're undefeated Michigan you're like yep that makes sense and I think if you're TCU you're like all right let's test this theory Fred let's see how accurate your predictions are yeah we're going to fact you the media is what we're going to do. Let's see exactly how a TCU-type team does with a seemingly secured playoff spot decided in the last week that surely won't get moved. What could go wrong? You sound like you want to slip into that voice again, and I encourage you to just go ahead and go with that instance.

The horn frog demands your respect. There we go. Thank you. Yeah, like, I... Are we seeing, okay, are we seeing maybe an outcry for another like a something subtly titled like director of on-field operations but the opposite of a get-back coach where when some real hollering is called for is the person who can choreograph this kind of thing in the moment you need a rat fucker that's what you need you need

somebody you need somebody who knows every single dirty trick yeah yeah you need a rat fucker who's like i can fix that right so like how um every like everyone who watches football knows that they should just put a 13-year-old Madden player in charge of timeouts. So with this, we're going to put, what is the angriest type of person? That's the type of person who tells the coach when it's just... Message board poster. Okay, so you're, the champion of your local message board is the person who tells the coach when it's time to go prone.

It's the Taco Bell Postanist fan. You need the person on the message board who's like, here's how I'd do it. You need the Dale Gribble of the message board, right? This is the moment where you need the built different guy. You need pocket sand, right? You need the guy who's like, hey, you know what would, you know, God, things aren't going our way. You know what they're not expecting? Fifth down.

Hit him with him. Yeah. Somebody who's like, sack of raccoons and just lets a blouse on the sideline, right? Speaking of Colorado. Colorado's in the news. You need somebody who shows up with a puffy coat, and every single puffy coat has a different small, endangered animal in it. I think if TCU doesn't make the playoff or whatever. reason and i don't think that's going to be the case but let's say it is i think the answer is now now

that we've seen okay not having a championship game that's bad having a championship game that's bad i think i think it should become optional like in the same way that earlier this week ohio state was like we would like to decline a rose we would here's who we would recommend for a roseball i think tc u should have been given the option like do you want it do you want to play for the big 12 championship and say like listen if you decline Kansas State is going to get it but you won't get the compromises you won't get a loss they'll get the title they'll get the trophy blah blah blah blah blah but you can just

to rest yes you can just opt out you can just opt out and and skip this all together I think that's a fair compromise yeah like ideally it's if you have beaten every team in the conference why the fuck do you need a conference title game We already know who the best team in the conference is. It's not the team that won the conference. Right, right, right. Which is what makes it very different from the Pac-12 championship game.

Because it's like, well, they already played. It's like, yes. But Utah was the one. Yes, yeah. We got to listen to Gary. Listen, TCU, this is the time to prove your texitude. If this goes sideways and y'all react with anything less than the energy you gave Jade Helm, I'm going to be so disappointed.

Jade Helmet. this is where we're going here's here's the argument tc u tc u don't worry that you don't worry about arguing that you should you should be in the playoff arguing that you should be the one seed here's why yeah you played the toughest opponent you had the toughest conference opponent today no question yeah of the of the competition two you had the most competitive game your game went to overtime you had to play more conference championship game than these other teams did that's it yeah lazy lazy Georgia only played four quarters. Barely. Arguably.

Down on the Swanee River. And the sleep is out. And the sweet buy and by. Plus, TCU had to play a team that they had already beaten. And that was battle tested by Tulane. Georgia didn't have to do that. Nope. Michigan didn't have to do that. I don't think.

Nope. By proxy. By proxy, TCU has played the best team in Louisiana. And Georgia only played the second best team. TCU now has a transit of victory over TCU. Oh, shit. Yes, correct. That is one of the funniest parts about this, is that by virtue of this game happening,

TCU's best win just got better? Yes. Which is hilarious. Case state will go up to like seven or eight or so. And yeah, yeah, that should be enough more than enough to keep TCU. TCU number one. This is another argument for putting Bama in the point. playoff if I can pick up the ball from Ryan because TCU having a win over TCU is against Jim Harbaugh's

religion and that's for Bama you can't have the yes so Michigan for religious reasons Michigan has to stay out because TCU's dix might touch in the middle so Michigan is leaving opening a spot for right for Bama okay yeah just writing the phrase TCU's Dix might touch in the middle let's start here tattoo Bama is so good that really they deserve two playoff. Bama deserves two playoff spots, right? I think we all understand how and why that is true. But because they're trying to be good sports and good stewards of the sport,

they'll just take one. They'll just take one. I love it. I love it. I love it. I love it. Call them the stewards of the sport. That's brilliant.

Who are you call our steward? We are here to be respectful custodians of the game that is ours. Stewart's my wife's boyfriend. Don't you bring it up a good. That we let everyone else play. I'll plow these fields One fullback at a time Actually, I ain't had a fullback.

Rick Bragg, how'd you get in here, you piece of shit? Remember to subscribe to Southern Living. Your mama likes it, and the recipes are good. Fine. They're all right. They're all right, yeah. Take it over garden and gun and changing the name to Gun and Gun. Gun and Gun, the official magazine of Alabama.

I did come up with a list of non-playoff things that were awesome from this year that I'd like to share with y'all if that's all right. Please. Oh, right, non-playoff things. Yeah, because it turns out the playoff is not the most important thing. No. It's fucked up, but it's true. Why?

Because Bama's not in it? Sorry, go ahead. No, I object to that. 100% object to that. I think I presented several airtight cases. Duke. Duke won five conference games this year for only the fourth time since 1980. Fuck yeah, Duke. Sick.

Oh, yes, Duke football. Today, in their win, Kansas State, Chris Clyman, became the only non-Bill Snyder coach in school history to win 10 games. Also sick. Oh, God. Well done. With offensive coordinator Colin Klein, by the way, who called a hell of a game. Yep, yep. Kansas won as many conference games this year

as they did in the previous seven years combined Lifelong Jayhawk fans here Illinois won eight games a thing they hadn't done since the Richard Mendenhall Rose Bowl year UTSA has a chance to finish with 12 wins in back-to-back seasons which is fucking hard which is fucking hard

and somehow going kind of under the radar yeah yeah because they didn't do last year's like you know meet meet motherfucker maximum meet Swatling. They're just doing the same thing, yeah. Yukon is Bull El's bowl for the first time in seven years, and we have the fucking T-shirts now. Ohio.

Went three and nine last year. This year won nine games and made it to the Mac Championship game. An Ohio team and a conference title game? Who thought such things were legal? It's crazy. I did briefly consider calling Purdue Nerd Hio State to see if we could just make this game matter more. That's deeply cruel. Thank you. I like

it. Chris Creighton took over the record for career wins at EMU and he is now going to be responsible for five of the program's six total bowl appearances. Filled the statue out of cinder blocks. Yeah. Kaelan DeBore went 10 and two in his first year at Washington. Were things good at Washington last year? No. No, they're very much bad. No, they weren't. We've already talked about Utah, but Utah is now

the only team from the rest in peace Pact 12 South to win the conference championship twice the only one

just like we drew it up Oregon State got ranked for the first time in nine seasons and they could win 10 games for the first time since 2006 Tennessee beat Bama

that's a thing Holly's blowing out her mic right now, by the way, laughing. You do that every goddamn week. Let me have this. I know. I'm like, no, I'm, I'm worried. She's got, it's, it's, it's sent her full Spencer. That's how crazy it was.

Everyone saw. Everyone saw. Everyone saw. South Carolina beat Clemson. That was some shit that happened. JMU, their first year in FBS, went eight and three. And they should have been in the Sunbelt title game, except for this dumb, well, you're new. so you don't get to have all the fun things.

You don't get to unlock all the features. Which is a really stupid rule. Yeah. What is the basis for that? It would make sense to, if, you know, if someone's moving down, it would make sense. Sure. Because you don't want to send a ringer down to just stampede through FCS. But, like, if you're coming, like, I don't know.

It's, I mean, it's purely. I actually would love to see somebody try that. It's purely to protect, like, the existing interests from, to make it okay to like bring if if north dakota state or somebody decides to jump up you can be like fine but you can't you can't embarrasses this badly immediately you can't win the big ten west in year one which you would have done several times in the past decade um Marshall beat Notre Dame that's still a thing that happened and and and is is a thing that is I guess possibly keeping us from having Well, no, the USC game happened to and the Ohio State game.

Yeah, Notre Dame was never getting into the playoff. We live in a good year. Troy went after three losing seasons in a row, went 11 and 2 and won the Sunbelt. Yeah, did y'all happen to see what Troy did tonight? Share with us all. Spencer, I'm going to tag you in on this because I heard about all this from you. Yeah, very exciting. The announcing, by the way, before the game, Coast of Carolina, saying that Grayson McCall was going to be the starting

quarterback oh cool like coastal's probably going to just you know get in there mop up and kick nope troy went 11 and 2 and beat coastal tonight 45 to 26 and most of that was in garbage time it was 45 13 going into the 4th so well done troy i only watched the fourth quarter it was nasty yeah uh and then my last one south alabama after five losing seasons in a row went 10 and 2 this year i also I forgot to put it on here. New Mexico State. Yeah. At the buzzer.

At the buzzer. At the buzzer. Bowl eligible. A very, very fucking hard place to get the lollible. That's Chili's for everybody. New Mexico State treating Valparaiso like it was Liberty. Oh, that's right. New Mexico State did beat Liberty, didn't you?

Yeah, that's correct. Ryan, that was lovely. It's good to have, like, it's good to feel nice about things. I'll throw all the hate and we do on non-playoff teams like Alabama. My one objection, of course, is saying nice things about Duke, nerds. Duke football. Fucking nerds. Listen, I felt like I had to pull something from the agency.

I'm going to have to get this out of my system now that Cutcliffe is no longer at the head of the program, but it's not quite out of there yet. Okay, what if I pivot it? What if by praising Duke for this, we are actually reminding Texas A&M, which did not win as many games as Duke. That this is their dude. This is their dude. He was doing all this. This is Mike Elko. Okay, yeah. That works. Okay.

He took all the magic with him. He did. There was so much magic. He was running that program. That would actually be awesome if we found out we were like, Jimbo didn't even come with the office. It was like, so it was like week and nine. He was Jeffrey Bowdened it all along.

All those papers, all those papers, that's his sci-fi novel he's been working on. Like late October, he discovered all of Elgo's papers. He's like, I don't know which ones are important. I better take them all. This is about an alternative universe where the sexiest thing you can do is have weird thinning hair. Protagist is named Mimbo. It's about a secret agent called Fimbo Gisher, who is incredibly rich and handsome. and whose football players

actually listen to the things he tells them to do. It's about a fictional universe where I get to leave Texas A&M. But he can. The naked hot woman looked at the desk and said those papers, they're so sexy. How do you have so many of them? Ooh, ooh, coach, there's so many papers.

Surely, surely you can't have more than 100 plays in your playbook. Oh, wow. Fimbo removed his just got uncomfortably real. Fimbo removed his sweatshirt. Fimbo opened his filing cabinet and her jaw dropped at the sight of all his papers. I can't believe it's 118 in the morning on December Sunday and we're writing Gimbo erotic fans. The A&M fans were sure that they were free this week. They were sure this was the week that they could take off, but it's never a week off.

There is no log off. No, no days off. Nowadays off, unlike Jimbo. You have Mike Elko to thank for it. He led us here. Jimbo took off seven days this season. Seven Saturdays to be specific. They got paid, though.

I got a lot of personal time built up. Lord rested on the seventh day, and I'm almost as rich as him. I wrote more stuff than he did. You want to see it? Here's a whole stack of it. that's so good what is it an unbreakable coaching buyout but a covenant really if you think about it yeah that's it yeah hey how many national titles does jimbo have the one he's got the one

so i imagine i understand why he carries all those loose papers because a three ring binder might be a little triggering i'm sorry i need some ice for my shoulder it's good no that's good yeah it was good no it wasn't don't encourage me i want to a shout out a number of players, by the way, including a champion, Mountain West champion, Jake fucking Hainer. That's right. Jake Hainer, who recovered from, let's see. That's Bradley Van Pelt Award winner, 2021, Jake Hainer. Yes, Jake Hainer, who suffered, let's see, he was hit by. Basically, everything that happened to Duke Nukem in the games has happened to Jake Hainer in real life.

Yeah, they took a lot of organs out of him. Yeah, he was hit by. by another car he was hit by a bus in the middle of a game plane crashed on the field in fresno and jay caner still completed a pass um he had a little rough stretch in the middle of the season but our boy recovered just in time to do the step curry celebration coming off the field against poise state today and a 2816 victory for the lad the the most durable lad the guy who puts every defense over not not by losing to them but by being like oh you hit so hard The guy who sells his ass off.

It does sell. I know it really hurts, but he always looks like Rick Flair's selling. The Sean Michaels doing an overly sarcastic selling. That's Jake Hainer. Just Jake Hainer looking at Boise State going, I'm sorry, I love you and throwing the game-winning TD. Shouts out to him, you know who else had a really, really cool year and went from one spot where we knew him and then became an entirely different player. somewhere else, Michael Pennix, Jr. Sure.

At Washington, who, by the way, is your yardage leader for the year, okay? Had a fantastic year in a Washington offense that would not stop scoring. Not Stetson? Not Stetson. I know. That's astonishing. The number of people who threw more touchdowns than Stetson Bennett is significant, but none of them had more heart.

You know, or more deals to offer you at Stetson Bennett, Kia of Waycross and Blackshare. Come on down and get you a Kia, tell you ride, a spacious vehicle, big enough for everybody. Hell, we can put 11 people on it and drive you to a national title, just like Stetson did it. Today, I think Stetson jumped from 67th in touchdowns to 42nd. That's really good. He is the greatest quarterback in Georgia history. every quarterback should transfer at least once and this is my long way of saying man bow nicks man I'm so happy for you I'm so happy this but I'm more happy that this happened because it's funny

as hell to me that you went out to the pack 12 away from everything southern and just bloomed just blossomed you're like I'm not going back it's nice out here I can throw for over 3,000 yards and 27 TDs. Drake May to Oregon. Drake May to Oregon. That's, oh my God. Drake May would throw for 9,000 yards. Yes.

Yes, he would. Other favorite quarterback, Jaden DeLara of Arizona, baby. If you didn't watch Jaden DeLara, 25 TDs, 13 picks, constant electricity. Stuff happening. Stuff happening. Whether you want it to or not. Content. Yeah, it's still posting.

Our most endless poster of quarterbacks is Jaden DeLar. You're like, is he still the thread? And Jaden DeLara is like, 15 of 543. The thread will not stop. But if you look at his stats, the one game where Jaden DeLora was like, oh, even I will just fucking dominate nonstop. Here's the stat line. 33 of 46 for 484 yards, six touchdowns, no picks. Who's the opponent?

USC? Colorado. God dang. Poor Colorado. Yep. Hey, it's going to be different now. Oh, my God, it's going to be, that's certainly the adjective. Mm-hmm.

That, that, I cannot be hot takes on that. I cannot be. Can you imagine they went from, like, seriously, they went from a coach who was clinically dead to Dion Sanders. They went from one of the least functional power five. rosters ever to who knows what deion will bring in like overnight like it's going to be a lot um a player i'd like to shout out is max dougan tCU quarterback hell yes oh my god during this game probably the most ridiculous drive i've i can recall seeing a single player do in terms of like just a lone ball carrier um it it almost looked like his strategy for this game was just to fucking

and yeat the ball down the field to open up the line of scrimmage so that he could then scramble through it and get flattened and then throw the ball again to back him up a little bit more and then to run straight ahead. There was one drive where he ran for, because of a penalty, he ran for 95 yards. And it was a crucial drive in the fourth quarter. On an, what was it, an 80-yard?

Yeah, 80-yard drive that he ran for 95 yards. Sure. yeah normal game and like it got to the point where i saw joel anderson said uh he he wish that tc u had not got the ball first in overtime just just to get max dug in a break oh just just one of those like absolutely like why would you play a quarterback why wouldn't you play quarterback kind of games before you go man that seems like the position you'd want to play and then the next play you'd be like i never want to play that position oh my god yeah What do we forget? What do we miss?

So we have a, the New Year's 6, assuming the committee doesn't do anything stupid, is like very, very set in stone already. Okay. So Georgia, Michigan, one and two. Georgia will get the Peach Bowl. Three and four, TCU, Ohio State in some combo, most likely. The Rose Bowl is obvious. Utah won it, and Penn State would be the next Big Ten team up.

The sugar would be obvious. K. State won the Big 12. and then Alabama would be the next SEC team up. The orange would get the ACC's Clemson. Then we get the next SEC team, Tennessee, giving us, in my opinion, the orangest Orange Bowl ever. At last, a true orange ball. Which is saying a lot, considering the number of times

Florida and Miami have played in it, you've got to do something to be there. Josh Heipel Bronzer Challenge! Come on down, Davo. Time to find out who's creepier about Jesus. Challenge accepted. The Cotton Bowl gives us the two leftover teams. USC's defense trying to wrangle and corral two lanes offense.

Legitimate challenge. Yes. And that's it. Very likely, you're near six. Great. It's pretty weird mix. Utah Penn State. Like, that's like, I'm seeing a lot of like 10-7.

I want to go. Parking the bus of 10-7 for an hour. about myself, but I want to go to that one. I see, like, the two greatest opponents to Penn State, which are Utah's defense and James Franklin. That's it. Can they overcome James Franklin? Pennsylvania has overcome men named Franklin before.

I think Penn State, if that ends, if Jason's right and I have no reason to think he won't be, I think Penn State's going to win that because we need some more heat on James Franklin getting every job that's ever available. Like, yeah. We weren't really thin on that. this year. And I feel like we need that to bubble back up. Yeah. We need to return to our route.

I'm hearing he's in on the USC job. Lincoln Riley's just not getting it done. Don't speak these things into existence. Don't. You know, it could happen. Wait, what if it's a one-for-one swap with Cliff and they just switch jobs? Yeah, I was just going to, actually, I was just

now thinking, like, there's probably going to be NFL interest in Lincoln Riley at some point. especially now that he's with like a more um he's in an NFL market literally right that'll probably happen chargers saying chargers everybody's got to coach the charges once let's go baby even us yeah which one of us is next in that rotation remind me i think you're up oh shit all right sorry no it's all right i got uh i just need to get a skin check before i go i'm worried about melanoma no i get it yeah i um I am greatly looking forward to a week of extremely tepid debate over who should have been in the playoffs.

Why? Because Bama's getting in and everybody understands that they should. That's correct. It's like, it's this funny thing where everyone fears Bama getting in as if they constantly bullshit their way into playoffs. They've only bullshitted their way in once. They've only been the four seed once, and they've won the fucking title that year. And they were, like, the least bad choice. Like, the one time they've bullshitted their way into the playoff, they were the closest thing to a decent choice.

But it's like this, like, everyone just dreads them, this idea of Bama making a playoff without deserving it. All right, let me, let me try something here. If you have to fill, let's say the three, we have three spots set with TCU, Michigan, Georgia. If you have to put a fourth in and you can't have Ohio State and you can't have Bama, who is that spot going to?

Balls. Tennessee? Yes. Fuck it. I think that's the wrong answer, but I understand it. Too bad. It's hard to give it to a team

that is lost by 700,000 points. Don't care. We do hard things all the time. That's why we went to the moon. You might not care. We didn't go to the moon. but that's why we should do this. Who goes in, Jason?

I mean, Jesus, that's... See? You can't go USC, because they can't tackle and they're, like, are wildly overrated. I'm sorry, why are you being judgmental about their playing style? There are a lot of different ways to get things done, Jason.

I'm looking at FPI right now. It's pretty bad. Texas is sixth. That's the state of things. Wow. Like, honestly, Tennessee is the best choice. Like, they beat Bama. Like, I don't, like, putting Bama in the

playoff would be fucking ridiculous. If Tennessee had, if Hennon Hooker was healthy, I would understand this, but we cannot put Joe Milton in the playoff. We just can't do that. Sure we can. It's not a good plan. We've done way dumber shit than that. Why don't you want to have a quarterback who can throw the ball the farthest in the

playoff? I didn't say to anyone. Then I would have gotten South Carolina, then I'd go with South Carolina and Spencer Rattler. So honestly, if we were actually doing this, you'd have to go with Clemson. Really? I was going to say, I was going to say Kansas State. They've lost three games. Who cares?

Well, if you don't care about that, put in fucking Notre Dame, who gets a show? No, no, no, no, all right. I care about it now. Never mind, I care. That's the far. I care. I care. I'm sorry. I'm sorry.

God, dang, Jason. Why would you say something like that? Let's put in Illinois. There, everyone's happy. All right, all right. All right. Purdue fans shaking their fists. Why?

You had your chance, Purdue. No, I do think Tennessee should rank ahead of Bama. I don't really care who's hurt and whatever. Like, they beat them. I saw it. That is true. But Bama has better losses. Don't worry about who they were.

Yeah, no. God. And has beaten no. one in particular. That's the craziest thing. They barely beat an injured Texas. Again, I just want the NFL to have to do this for one year, so we can see NFL fans have to sort of be like, yeah, but the Vikings have better lost.

Like, it sounds fucking insane. The minute you apply to anything else, it just is like, what are you talking about? You sound like you're having a stroke. Who are our Vikings this year? A team that's like, I guess that's like USC or Clemson where it's like, yeah, I know what their record is but they suck right it's Clemson

it's Clemson because then that would put like Caleb Williams on Kirk Cousin's tier and I don't want that I think that makes TCU the Eagles where you're like

yeah man I'm not confident they're going to do anything no one fuck out no one knows why their record looks so pretty yep what's their best play Cubies sneak Alabama is definitely the bills Like, the record is kind of bad, but nobody fucking wants to play them.

Yeah, right, right. I wanted to ask, so if the playoff stands as is, the last team in is Ohio State, correct? Yep. And that's why, that is why, when the game was over and Spencer had his fun, Spencer yelled and hollered and said mean things about my beloved Buckeyes, I remained calm. I remain resolute I was unbowed I didn't cry I didn't scream

because I understood that I am but a pebble in the river of life and it will carry me where it will and it's carried me here back to the playoff God what a year when you sent this where I was

I like that you walk directly to this bear trap for me where as a foreseed you will be facing whom Georgia Oh, it's correct. Just Taylor carrying C.J. Stroud like his child to go get concessions.

Do you remember the last time Bama, or Ohio State, rather, was a four seed in the playoff against an SEC team? That would be, I'm sorry, the Cardell Jones miracle against Alabama. So, yeah, let's not go ahead and just take that for granted just yet. I will say, though, C.J. Stroud is no Cardale Jones, and that's no insults C.J. Stroud. There's only one amazing Ohio Viking. So, I'm just looking around at some numbers, I think Georgia might be like a three, four, three, four, five point favorite. I generally can't tell if Holly is raising her hand or dancing at this point. I think she's, I think she's dancing to an honor of Cardale Jones. Oh, okay. Okay. That makes sense.

as we all should you know also the running back Ezekiel Elliott actually got used right in that attack and ran for over 200 yards against Alabama which Ryan Day sometimes forget he forgets he has running backs

we also look I understand George is very good and I understand every logical argument says George should win this game if we don't get an Ohio State Michigan rematch in the national championship like come on what what were we even doing here if it's if it's not i would either take

tc u wins it outright and everybody's like what the fuck or or the game or the game rematch every other outcome not interested this is like the only time ever i have won a college football rematch college football rematch is are bullshit it's a sport founded on if if you lose to someone you feel bad about it for 12 months. No, no relief from that terrible feeling. But Ohio State, Michigan title game would be the biggest game in college football history. How do you turn that down? Yep. You turn it down because you want to see what I want to see, which is Georgia TCU. Let's go. Hey, sure. I'll take that too. I'll take Georgia's commitment to like logic and facts and

reason and TCU just doing some wacky bullshit and seeing if that's what it takes to disrupt Georgia. just at herschel walker what do you think about sunny dykes and just see the answer that spills out oh my god we're almost done with that guy i promise y'all george's about to get that guy up out of here again stetson bennett the greatest dog of all time the greatest heisman participant in the history of the george bulldogs program i might vote listen honestly i might vote for him just to get him out of the paint i hope stetson bennett goes to the heisman ceremony you know those those sunglasses that like go over the top of your head. Like, this is some super 2002 shit. Oh, yeah. Oh, yeah, like the double word? Yeah. Like someone from a movie about Ravers?

Yes. Yes. That's what I hope Stetson, but otherwise, just like normal suit, but just those sunglasses. So he'll dress like he did when he was like 17. Correct. This is June your college. Listen, if Stetson Bennett just walks up and goes, call me triple X. I was...

I was... I was... I was more attached. It says it's like finally time to unveil the real me. An action star from 2000. Kirby Smart can't hold me down any longer. It's time to flourish.

You'll find me in cyberspace. Whatever, bro. Let's blade. Type in AOL keyword. Stetson. Yeah, that's it. I want the year 2000 dark web, Stetson Bennett, action hero. Did we even have a dark web?

Was it like ISP? I think it was just the sex chat rooms in AOL. It was like the kid who comes to your house and he's like, do you have Netscape? And you're like, what the fuck is that? He's like, check it out. He's like, check it out. It's like AOL, but you can leave AOL. What's nuts?

You can leave AOL. You guys are amazing. You're allowed to go outside. So before we really start writing the Stetson Bennett Triple X movie. Where he's like, hold on. The Jimbo Fisher, Eratka. Yeah. Hold on.

I've got a street luge to my next meeting. What meetings is that's a minute to me? Nothing I can tell you about. To the NFL Compign. To the 2001 NFL Combine. While hammering a surge. People are like, oh God. Is there anything else we missed before?

How? We wrap at 140 a.m. in this final championship edition of the full cast after dark people are going to ask us hey are you doing any after darks at future day i don't know i didn't even know if we were doing this one quite frankly i made a calendar hey ryan we're doing a forecast after dark tonight yeah why y'all putting all that pressure on us like like we'll do it or we won't we don't know shit man what my stetson bennett the most reliable man in college football i'm not in charge i don't know why i'm acting like i'm in charge I think you mean the most dangerous. It's not my fault. It's like the least dangerous.

That's what you think. That's right. Y'all ever think about how split zone duo is way more organized than ahead of the game and business development, and yet they can't catch us in popularity? So, yeah. I think we're good. Yeah, that's it. We're good.

Yeah. Everybody, thank you for joining us tonight, bearing with us for initial technical difficulties to get to the consistent. The consistent greatness that we've presented. provide, all right? And again, if you made it this far, right? You're truly extreme. Thank you to all of you who made this season absolutely fantastic. This has been more fun than I could have anticipated every single week. I'm like, I don't know how I'm going to stay awake for this. And at the end, I'm like, I'm going to be awake for another two hours because I'm excited talking about Stets and Bennett as a been diesel character. So thank you.

All right, y'all Bye River so deep I would like to hear Ghal that I'm not sure I can't get into Gond I can't, yeah, I can't do it Hmm

now that's Dobby Another perfect episode Something There it is. He's got it. But the river's wine. Too far to class. All the way, I got it. Now's just bullshit.

There's a truth. Rivers so deep. Rivers so deep. Yes. I was looking for something. That's Peter Lorry. Why can't I have someone gone? They're pretty similar.