Shutdown Fullcast - Giving Tuesday (or alternately: The Advice Episode)

Episode Date: November 10, 2021

On what we like to call #GivingTuesday, the Fullcast crew opened the floor for those seeking advice. On the way to solving all of our reader's life problems we invented the Georgia Divorce Ranch, Cryptocurrency for Kids, and the world's dankest roulette wheel. Put all of your listening dollars on 69, and subscribe and thrive.  Learn more about your ad choices. Visit podcastchoices.com/adchoices

Most of my advice is like, I don't know. Life is hard. Do whatever you want and say you're sorry if you fuck up. There, you've just written in everything I need to know I learned in kindergarten book. I'll take the bitch what email. Like Aaron Rogers should have just said that. It would have been a lot of smoother. Did we all see today's development?

Which one? Oh, the one that I accidentally retweeted. from the full cast account. Oh, I thought you were talking about Shailene Woodley says to cripple shit. No, now what? His feet are much bigger than that. Oh, God.

There was this dude in California. He's, like, very, he's masked up. He's wearing sunglasses. And somebody was like, that's Aaron Rogers, breaking quarantine to go get coffee. And like, even looking at it the first time, you're like, maybe, I don't know if that. It seems kind of iffy.

And it turns out it's not. He's like, no, I'm in green bed. didn't fucking travel um and and shaley woodley gets on instagram and she's like first of all this motherfucker doesn't have hairy hands and erin rogers has hairy ass hands everybody knows that second of all what's wrong with hairy hands nothing she's just saying like this is why this person is not erin rogers that everybody says it is but one of them is sorry to this man but like erin rogers has much bigger feet than this dude and also she's like and also his car is terrible and Aaron Rodgers would never drop this car.

And she's like, she's just like random dude is like getting shelled. Yes, absolutely. I thought she was like earthen and whatever. Shouldn't she want people to have shitty old cars and cheap, cheap shitty cars? Not if they got small dicks, dude. Not if they got small dicks. No. You can drive a shitty car if you're like, you know, laying some pipe.

Yes, that's right. One or the other. You can choose one or the other. Are you slanging it? Yeah. Are you slanging it? Go ahead and getting that late model Ultima. Mother Earth has needs.

It would take a pretty big thing. She's a big old girl. She's a big old girl. Thank you now that I can hear. I wonder if this is what moon falls about. Moon's like, I'm the only one who can satisfy her. Thank you for having juvenile in my head going, Mother Nature look like she can take it to it.

You a bit. find planet the planet that's trying to buck us off you back that mass up Welcome to the shutdown fullcast. You are listening to the internet's only college football podcast. My name is Spencer Hall.

Joining me, as always, are my three co-hosts listed in alphabetical order by last name. Holly Anderson? Sure. Put me on the spot with that alphabet shit. Uh-huh. Jason Kirk, live from Kennesaw, Georgia with the. sun you can't see it but on the zoom call we used to coordinate our interactions here you can see him framed by the sun like he is in a album cover for some sort of warm folksy country sounding

california pop album made in laurel canyon look at him look at the sheen look at the shine jason kennesaw looks magical today he said country so i'm going inside now and live from the home of country itself. The man who defines country music, Ryan Nanny. He's wearing a shirt today for some reason. I wear a shirt for all of these. I was wearing a shirt when Holly accused

me of not wearing a shirt. I didn't accuse anyone. When Holly asked if I was not wearing a shirt. And Ryan is wearing a shirt and I presume shoes because today we are giving advice on the show and therefore we have shirts, shoes and problems. I don't

oh God damn it. Ryan, wear your shoes this man's wearing bomba socks i think ryan ryan ryan sirber put the bombus out of here put the bombes out on my feet uh let the record show this is forecast before dark so ryan is clothed for once before dark although jason's jason's backdrop is reminding us that the darkness comes soon for us all yeah it's daylight savings so the dark will be here any second now well we will we will make haste then because what we have done now that we're no November, and it is time to give thanks. We thought we would give to the readers in the form of giving advice. From time to time, we do open up, we open up the floor for questions. Questions about what you ask. Questions about literally anything, although they do tend to sort of focus on the same thing. There's some big live questions that readers would definitely want to know the answers to. We don't know the answers, but we're going to make really wild guesses at them. They ask about video games. They ask about cooking. they ask about all kinds of business.

We are here to help you at the shutdown full cast. So without any further ado, I think we need to get right into it. Let's start. Let's go alphabetically again. Holly, would you care to start with a reader question? I'm sure if you want to go alphabetically. Mm-hmm. All right, I do think it's very funny that of all the sections that we have on this spreadsheet that are split up by category,

the one that we came the closest to filling out answers for every single question was the relationship section okay pause for left definitely a point of expertise i'm going to start with all 20Q this is a justin fields apologist on twitter i decided to be passive aggressive and have loud sex to show my neighbors that i can hear their loud sex I have now received a noise complaint from a different neighbor. The loud neighbors have been doing this for a month. How can I continue to avoid mature confrontation? This sounds like very mature confrontation, but perhaps not in the way that you mean.

I would go to the third neighbors, explain the situation, and ask them if they can dial it up. and at the very least everybody in your building is going to be having thunderous ovations of orgasms and maybe then your entire community will be a more relaxed and comfortable place to live no one can hear anything at a certain point so no individual act is going to bother anyone just that they can't the wave of sound at all times yes baba sparks uh uttered this I think the problem The profit of a sparks The problem with all scenarios like this

Is that you can always inadvertently be stumbling Into a shaggy situation Where you're like, oh, the neighbors are constantly Yeah What, what, which shaggy situation How shaggy we're talking about. Shaggy The singer, not the Shaggy, no I mean shaggy bathroom floor situation

Yes, yes Where you think, ah, the neighbors are constantly having loud sex And if you say this to one of the neighbors they either say you need to shut the fuck up or the other one says no we're not what what are you talking about but i think it's i think it's safe just to take this first step in this situation because he needs to go to the neighbors who have complained about his loudness and tell them what's going on and no no yes i yes yes i just i just i feel like i feel like we should address the premise

of this question which is my neighbors are constantly having sex with one another in the committed relationship that they're in which it's like hopefully but also maybe not i but some but it sounds like great sex is being had and i don't feel like we should box that in or maybe it's just terrible argumentative sex look you're not good at this neither are you why are we doing this one thing we should say particularly to our question submitter is congrats on the sex we're very proud of you oh i guess that's what he was actually going for huh also shouts out to the abs the nut hating neighbor shouts out to the like the literal boner police that lives on your block like what an absolute hater signed nut hating neighbor i heard someone having fun holly how do you open this conversation

with the other set of neighbors the nut hating neighbors like what's your i'm gonna open it okay i'm gonna open it this way okay hear me out okay but they already did a leu um i will go i'm glad we'll go i'm glad we'll we solved that. I know. That was good. That was good. Never talk to your neighbor. Listen, never, never de-escalate when you can escalate. Never de-escalate when you can re-escalate. So I'm going to take from the the big grown life section. I'm going to take a question that I think is a real good quick one. Is it about irony? Nope. It is from David Adrian, who's going to give me a dunk. Should I buy a?

lake house. Yes. Can we come over? Can we? Yeah. Do you need us to bring burgers? We will come to your lakehouse. I think you mean, should you buy us a lakehouse. And by that, yes, you should. The answer to this question for me is always the same as should I buy a boat? No, you befriend people who have boats. Yeah, but the lakehouse, like, it's a lake house. But then it's so much better to have a friend with a lakehouse. But you can sell a lakehouse conceivably for as much or more money later. That could happen. Lake houses are smart investments. It's so true.

Yeah. Yeah. Okay. Okay. We are all buying lakehouses. That's not what we said. How did that happen? You were the, uh, this is your idea.

Okay. No, it is Dave. It is David's idea. We are all going to David. Spencer is buying one lucky reader a lake house. It was David's idea to ask. It was your idea to affirm. I am affirming that David should buy one and we're all coming over, David.

You can't be there all the time. If you have the money to buy a lakehouse, you should buy a lakehouse. Just do it. What would have happened if Sandra Bullock or Keanu Reeves had not bought a lakehouse? This is the second Sandra Bullock invocation since we've gotten on the call today. Yeah. Huh. We're going to slow down.

This bust will explode. Her spirit will come. Jason, you would be next. Oh, okay, I get it now. I don't like this alphabet tyranny. What if we, let's knock out the relationships section. What if we try that? Yeah.

Yeah. Let's knock out everybody's relationship. The only one I claim there comes from Maddie Lukeworm just got engaged. Should we elope or do a big wedding? You should elope if as long as your partner likes that idea. Otherwise, you should do a big wedding. My point is lean for one and just, you know, discover which happens, I think is the way to go. I have a secret answer to that, by the way, or like a pre-question that you should ask.

Not for long. which is, is one side of the family demonstrably crazy. Then you should definitely have a big wedding. Then you should definitely elope. You should definitely elope. Do you know of any weddings where there was not a crazy, at least quadrant involved? Yeah, but it's a degree of difficulty here that we're talking about, not necessarily whether it's going to happen, but to what extent that is going to happen.

Ryan, your wedding was incredibly chill. Yeah, I think so. Spencer was probably the crazy quadrant, actually. Yeah, I mean, I think I was probably the least together person at your wedding. He led everybody to the dance floor. He just didn't have shoes. He was perfectly fine. He was perfectly well behaved.

So he was, yeah, it was either that or my old college roommate who came from, he was living in Denmark at the time, he came in the ugliest green suit I've ever seen. And when I asked him why, he said, because I will throw it out after this wedding and use the extra space in my suitcase to buy things to be. bring back to Denmark. And like, I couldn't even be bad at it. There's a logic to it. Yeah.

That's a great hack. And he did. That's your very own Jan Mas. This is my Danish girlfriend, a full-size Lego figure. I will say, I think Emily and I told this story on this podcast a few months ago that, like, looking back at our wedding, we've said a thousand times, we should have just eloped. That is partly because our wedding was paid for by us to poor adolescents, but regardless, put us down.

If you're taking votes here, Maddie, you got two votes for me and Emily for elope. Does elopement have like an unfair connotation of like, oh, we're sneaking away and see. Like we, we fled the village. I don't think that's unfair. I think that's the point of the thing. But I don't think that's always necessarily a bad thing. But what I'm saying is, are we, does it have a negative aspersion that it does not deserve? Like, are we failing to acknowledge?

I think it's a good brand. Yeah, I think the negativity around that brand comes. comes entirely from agitated parents who were probably going to put their thumb on the scale way too much at this wedding. Sure. Sure. I think we should stop calling it elope and we should start calling it turbo wed. We did a turbo weddice idea. We did a speed run of our wedding. How about that?

That's right. There we go. Free range wedding. What if we wedding plan elopments? That's probably like, that has to be a thing. That has to be a thing, right? Elopement planners. Put elopement planners Instagram, and I bet something will come.

Easy and affordable elopement. Elopement packages. The greatest adventure weddings. Because, like, we're kidding, but, like, pop-up micro weddings. That was like the second. Oh, no, now I hate it. No, this was like the second. That'll sell, though.

That was like the second biggest business in Las Vegas for decades was this. Yeah. Oh, here's a really good one. Can we bring back the divorce ranch? Here's a really good one. There's a really good, I'm not, oh my God, this is. Hold on, Jason, go ahead. Jason, first, and I'm going to plug the name of a website.

I don't know anything about this business. It's an elopement package website. It's called, let's not and say we did. Not like, wow. Nicely done. Fuck. What is the divorce ranch? Okay, the divorce ranch is a real thing because I don't know what state laws are like now,

but back in the, at least up until the 9th, 1960s, you could get an elopement, a no-fault elitment. This is a plot point in Godfather the book. An annulment? A no-fault divorce. Okay. Because you said a no-fault elopement, and I was very confused. Sorry, sorry. I was thinking. A no-fault divorce if you in Nevada, but you had to establish residency for like six months. So some genius or a group of geniuses got up the idea and they set up these basically like Bachelorette ranches, but for like recently married. but for like divorcing women in Reno where you could come it was basically like a spa right but also kind of like camp so like you come and stay at this place for like six months and you know

you can have your mail sent there you can get your driver's license there because you live there and then at the end bang quickie divorce um plug a woman who I consider to be my uh later in life stepmother and she wrote a book about this that came out earlier this year called better luck next time it is set in one of these ranches it is a fucking hoot And I suggest you all read it. It's called Better Luck Next Time by Julia Claiborne Johnson, a dear motherly figure to me. And it is absolutely deranged. And I think full cast readers will really like it.

But yes, divorce ranches were real. Yep. So it was the Haitian divorce, not just the song title. You could go to Haiti and get a unilateral divorce, meaning only one party had to sent to it. I like that. Hey! By the way, no fault divorces are also possible in Georgia. after six months, which is why I moved back to Georgia, we should just start Georgia divorce

ranches.biz. I like that we have the same, I like that we have the same language for divorce that we have for car crashes. No fault. Also, I had a big wedding and I loved it. Like, I had a jolly good time and it was an excuse to throw a large party. So there. There's, there's one vote for big wedding. Just throw the party that you want. And don't worry if it's too, if it's not wedding like or, uh, don't worry about that. Just, or the party that you want. I will follow this up with a quick one under the relationship category. That would be from Play-by-Play at M-Go Play-by-Play.

I'm guessing you're a Michigan fan. And thus, this is a question you're probably like actually sincerely asking with some real angst. And I'm going to do my best to respect that while also giving you the kind of answer I'm going to give you, which is they want to know, how do I tell my family I'm going on vacation in Asia instead of home for Christmas? Um, don't. They'll find out. So the sincere way to do this is to say, I'm not coming home for Christmas because I have an opportunity to do something that you don't get to do very often in life.

I'm very sorry, I will call, but this is what I am doing, okay? And I want you to be prepared for this. Someone's going to be mad. Someone might be mad for a real long time, especially if they say, oh, I'm not mad. They're mad. It's fine. You're just going to have to let that go and understand that there are costs associated with this. You paid for a plane ticket, but you didn't anticipate paying the only.

emotional cost that was going to be someone in your family being upset with you that's fine because one they'll get over it and two you can you don't get this back take this opportunity go do it that is a weirdly intelligent take out of spencer because i think a lot of times now i mean emotionally intelligent because i think a lot of times when people ask how can i they're not asking how they can do it because the answer and i'm not i'm not putting this uh i'm not putting this strategy on the reader at all but a lot of times when people ask how can i x they're not asking how can I because the how can I is obvious they're asking how can I do this without consequences and that's not really possible if you square the consequences with yourself

and be honest with your loved ones I think that's probably the move and if you can't bring yourself to do that maybe examine why I would also encourage you that if you're going to miss a Christmas with your family for this do the hell out of it do not half-ass this okay don't don't say oh well I'll just go to two places. No, man, you go to like eight. Like, do this to the hilt. Okay, now that we've done the sincere answers, can we do the answers that we were talking about? Absolutely. We started recording. What I think you should do

is I think that on Christmas Day, you should face-time them from downtown Tokyo, you know, so they can all see and be like, I'm at the exit. Yeah, I'm at the exit. I'm five minutes out. And just see what they do. I've got cranberries. Yeah. You guys just save some hand for me. Call in from the Great Wall and be like,

I'm sick. I'll be over in a minute, as you show them the Great Barrier Reef of Australia. God, Nightingham across the international date line would be amazing. Yeah. Does it become Dayham at that point? That's what I'm wondering. Is it both night and day ham? Does it become?

That's, that's overnight ham. Oh my God, we've invented Timeham. We invented D.HL. D.HL. Overnight Ham. Anywhere in the world. So that's how, so that's how you do it. You just FaceTime them. from the middle of Lumpini Park in Bangkok on Christmas Day.

We get it. You've been to Asia. Yes. I have. See? Go. Go do it. You can be as magical as I am. Spencer's done it. So therefore, you should, too. Definitely not. Exactly. I can name a lot of places in Asia. We're trying to make the case, y'all. Do things Spencer has done. Do things I have done. Let's see. What else we got in the relationship section?

Okay. I'm going to take one. Okay. Does everybody know what Hinge is? Because I had to look this up. The app. It is a dating app, correct? Sort of. It's a dating app.

Hang on. Let me ask the question first. This is from the bearded Casey on Twitter. Should I stop making jokes when replying to people's prompts on Hinge since I never get replies to them? This is another one of those questions where you don't actually want advice. You want to be told that what you're doing is correct. Now, I want to put a couple of things out here.

hinge is apparently an app that is plugged into Facebook and the point of hinge is that it looks for matches that you have mutual friends with so not only are you turning these people off Casey with your constant jokes all of your mutual friends now stand a risk of finding out that you are out there dicking around on hinge with people that you both know so you may not only be tanking future non-existent relationships, you may be tanking current ones by just sending out jokes. Also, if people are on a smartphone dating app and they're women, they already know where to go to find dudes who think they're funny. It's the entire rest of the internet. Maybe try having a personality a little bit first, before you reveal your true form. The other piece of advice that I would throw out the opposite of this is just to keep doing what you're doing, because this is clearly who you are, and they need to know about that. Yeah, no, I think you need to continue this heavy signaling.

Okay, I'm only coming down hard on this because I followed the, I followed his tweet thread down, and I saw some of these jokes. Yeah. So this is a warning. They've got to know. I feel like he's performing a public service on himself. Isn't this a question of science, though? Like, Casey has identified the jokes. Is he naturally select, is he naturally removing himself from the herd?

That's not where I was going, but maybe. Casey has identified the jokes as the causal factor in the lack of replies. And I think to test this theory, you have to try non-joke replies and see if they yield anything. If they don't, the jokes aren't the problem. I don't know what that means the problem is. I don't know what it means the problem is. And I wish you the best of luck.

But from a purely is a causing B, you need a control group, right? That's a fair point. As a repost, can I read a couple of the jokes to you because I gave examples. This person willingly put them online. Yeah, they did. And yeah, I can't stop. Legally, I have no recourse here. I have not read them, but I feel myself pre-cringing.

Oh, yeah, you should. Let's go. There are, so there are apparently conversational prompts on Hinge where they're like, my most controversial, like prompt tweets, right? And you people fill these out. And you can reply to them. So he replied to somebody's most controversial opinion, which is they don't like combining chocolate and peanut butter together by saying,

Reese's will do that for you. Oh, boy. And let's see, we've got Best Travel Story. I went to Stockholm by myself for a week. and met a few local women and stayed out partying with them until 5 a.m. And Casey says, Are you sure they didn't hold you captive and you developed a bond with them over time? Like the syndrome.

Ah! Someone was asked their irrational fear and they said tsunamis. And he said, it's the silent tea, isn't it? Feels like they can sneak up on you. I can't believe this guy's not overflowing. So the common thread here is these are very wordplay heavy. Oh, oh, no. Oh, and I think, and I think, oh, you, you just saw the last one, didn't you?

I just saw the next one. Okay, this is the last one. Oh, my ass hurts. I hate ketchup. I hate ketchup, says one user. Okay. That's okay. Good to know if it's condiment to be from the start.

Actually. Casey, I think you should keep being exactly who you are. I've changed my mind. Yeah, that one, that one's good. Keep doing this because I don't want these people, I don't want these people to go in without knowing the real you. Okay. I will say this, though. Somebody is going to find.

right yes there's a lady out there who's like i like a big corny unfunny man right and they baby that's you that's fine go be go be your big corny unfuny self because somebody's out there's going to be like i love it i'm picking this up all right it is better it is better to do that than to pretend to be somebody you're not oh yeah oh yeah please don't spring this aspect of your personality on them in like month six so i think would hint pretending to be what you're not that would be like going and copying other people's jokes or whatever i i will defend the condiment one let's put that yeah no i like this is jason happily married longer than any of us this is this is you this is you and i think i'm actually really

proud of you for submitting that because that's hard and the honesty's bracing i'm not proud of him for submitting it and he's more attention these are just attention from us that he's not getting from the dating app these are just got it these are just very hard like first things to throw at somebody like this is the first thing if it's it's one thing if you are in a conversation and you try this as line four. But like to immediately go to this place is a very aggressive move. It's an on side kick on it's an onside kick on the first kick off of the game. And it's like if it works, man, you're going to have a great game. But most of the time it's going to be very bad. And everyone's going to be bad at you. Everyone's going to be so bad

You. First down, opposition on the 38-yard line. Quipated points. Quit game. Sim. Sim, quit game, restart. Restart dynasty. What if you had a controller to take to dates that you could just push at people?

It doesn't necessarily have to work. They just have to see you hitting the mute button. Sure. Sure. Yeah. Yeah. By the way, does Hinge not work if you don't have Facebook? I don't know.

Like, because that would be because I just see any Facebook. Facebook accessorized or attached dating network as eventually like props being like, Patriot! Patriot, tell me. Imagine limiting your dating pool to people who have Facebook. Yeah, that seems bad. That might be how you run into dudes like Casey.

I don't know. There are a lot of casual people who just have Facebook. I get it. I don't endorse it, but. Yeah, and I hope it's geolocated. And maybe you want to, really. And maybe you want to date. ants and uncles in which case go ahead man ants and uncles need love that's right

love they do a lot of love warm tender I'm a giver also I own 48 AR 15s oh my guy it's almost cold enough for my uncle buster sweatpants one for each of our true United States I'm talking about you Delaware all right I will take this I know my brain is broken because I just heard Casey go to law where get it that's a corporate governance joke somebody else do something this is from Bilbo Swagins at Aski Wow Wow I L on Twitter it's a very long username should I ask my girlfriend to marry me on Christmas in Chicago or in Hawaii in February

she loves Christmas and Hawaii so both are equally special she hates public proposals and so both will be private I don't have like a clear answer, but I can walk you through the calculus. Number one, if you get married, if you get engaged on Christmas, you will, the pro is, it will be very easy to remember this. You have associated this special time in your life with a date on the calendar that it literally comes on the calendar. So you will, uh, sort of do yourself a solid and not have to add one more file to your, uh, memory. The con is, you will be one of 50 people. in your circle who got engaged on Christmas and that's fine like maybe that matters to you maybe it doesn't but like Christmas is just one of those times where it's like open Instagram okay here are the 10 people who got engaged this Christmas that's just the way it goes. You don't care about your partner might the other con there is that if either of you have large families if anybody's got a sibling with a birthday right around Christmas you've hijacked Christmas yes and whoever else you were

celebrating with. Yes, and you are also probably hijacking that this immediate Christmas, wherever you're going. Like you have now, and maybe they're fine. Maybe it's a small thing and it doesn't matter. It's fine. Or maybe you hate them and you want to make this about you. And if so, I celebrate that. But just know that there's going to be an impact. So the Hawaii part of this question is, I think, a little easier to thread, which is if you get engaged in Hawaii, the pro and the con are really one and the same going back to the place where you got engaged will not be easy will not be a thing you do frequently if that's important to you like some people want to go back to the restaurant that they got engaged in every year on their anniversary or every so often or whatever and if it's in Hawaii you're probably not doing that the pro to that is now you have built in very easy and hopefully very memorable anniversary things you can hey we've been together for five years 10 years we're going back to Hawaii because that's where we got engaged, whatever, whatever. As far as like which one is better, like I would probably tilt slightly in favor of Hawaii

because Christmas in Chicago feels like there are other factors that can just sort of like go wrong. The weather can suck. Travel can be a problem, whatever. But if you get to Hawaii and it's February, everything will probably be pretty awesome and chill. And that feels like a better headspace to be in to propose to somebody and to be proposed to. Whereas the Christmas Chicago one feels like there's just more going on. So I would personally probably tilt towards the Hawaii February option that said, all of these things ultimately come down to what you think your partner will like best. You have thought about that. You have sort of considered both of them. Which is great. The fact that you know this is great. Yes, I will say she likes Christmas and

she likes Hawaii, I'm like, well, Christmas will always be there. Like, Christmas will always be there in special. If you can't tell the damn liberals, take it. That's right. Yeah, no. And then you can't celebrate your anniversary on Christmas anymore because it's been removed from the calendar. We just jump from the 24th to the 26th.

It's gone. And you don't have, and look at that. You're not even legally engaged anymore. Shit. Also, you could have the perfect plan to propose in February in Hawaii. And if you find a moment that feels like the moment and it's just like upon you in Christmas do it and then make the trip to Hawaii like a celebration of the fact that y'all got engaged and go boo up yeah you know there's this is not the fact that you've thought about this at all and

knows and know what your partner like likes and doesn't like that's good you're ahead of the game these are all good signs i'm going to be the lone dark cider here and say this if she says no you're still in hawaii do it in hawai okay because if she says no at christmas you got all kinds of complications sure and then you've ruined christmas for yourself and then you've ruined christmas for Everybody else. This is the plot of forgetting Sarah Marshall. You're just doing forgetting Sarah Marshall. I have seen on the other hand, on the other hand, if she says no, in Chicago, you can

probably make it home. You are an Illinois fan. You can scurry away and nurse your wounds. Would you rather be stuck on a tiny island with the, like, saddest memory of recent memory? Right, right. The other thing is. And then write your Dracula puppet musical. The other thing is, um,

hates public proposals, so both will be private. If it's in Chicago, are we talking like a hotel lobby rented out or something? You know what I mean? Like, this is a busy, busy bustling time in a busy city. It just feels easier to find a private space in Hawaii. But I like what Holly said that, you know, when the moment is the right, that's the moment. And then also, if, you know, if the Hawaii trip happens as well, I think we wish you luck, Bilbo Swagons. The hardest part of this will be

If you decide to wait to Hawaii I assume you already have the ring You're going to use to propose You have to hold on to that ring For an extra two months This is Bilbo we're talking about here You're right It's built into the question

I apologize Do not whatever you do Do not let Gandalf take it Or Gandalf will take your GF Sure sure And he will push you out of the door Go to Hawaii Propose and then immediately

Throw the ring into a volcano And then leave for 50 years. Could actually be done. Hand it to her and say, keep it secret. Keep it safe. She'll love it. And then call her the precious.

The rest of your days. I know several women who would fall at your feet if you call them the precious in that voice. Brian knows who I'm talking about. That's what scares me. He has a headache. Hawaiian Lord of the Rings would be amazing. Absolutely amazing.

White shores, brother. Right. Oh God, now I'm thinking about Robert Kukala. Next question before I get sad. Hang on. Are we still trying to fill out the relationship question? Let's jump to a new section. Okay, new section.

I'm going to, you know what? I want to do this one from a person who is asking a question that I am kind of irked by, like I'm interested by it, but I'm also kind of irked by this. theme of question and I'll explain why and the answer from sports-ish I'm gonna go from sportsish which is from Matthew Ruskin I think it's a good question but I want to explain why there's like it's a little faulty Matthew says I've never been a huge EPL fan what team should I support okay whenever anyone asked this question okay it presupposes that one can just apply said team to the forehead and by

osmosis immediately like them flip it on the other end. No one ever says what should my favorite sandwich be? Oh, it's tuna salad. Done. I'm a tuna salad man. No. You do it by eating a bunch of sandwiches. Go watch some teams. Go watch some. Why don't you

watch some? Like go out there and actually watch some and I guarantee you one of them will seem cooler than the others. You'll find something about them where you go, hey, that's my team. Are you like, could you make a mistake? Yeah, I'm going to make one little caveat and say, if you're

watching an EPL team and you go, ooh, they're cool. I would suggest that you go look and make sure that they're kind of good because there is nothing more miserable than trying to onboard and go, hey, I really like this team. You go, yeah, they're going to be relegated in two years. And they won't come back for a decade. And you won't be able to watch any of their games on anything except for like pubbrawl. That's the only place that they show. I'm sold.

That's a downside. Check that. It's lonely. Pubbrawl. See if I got us. Lonely pubbrawl. If it's taken. Yeah, it's about to be.

Hold on. Hold on. Oh, no. Pubbrawl.TV. We will now televise your soccer league. That's where we see AFC Wimbledon play, right? So we see them on pubbrawl. TV because, yeah, the EPL has.

You'll never brawl alone. You'll never brawl alone. So I would make sure that you actually, I would cheat a little bit, make sure that you're rooting for a pretty decent team. make sure that they've actually won something in the past, like, 20 years before you do that. Or do what I did and say that you're a Fulham fan because there is an owner who put a Michael Jackson statue outside the stadium for no reason. Other than he really likes Michael Jackson. Yep.

That is how I picked my team. I've been happy ever since. Not about the soccer, just about my choices. But go watch some. Not even the same owner anymore, but that's another story. Yeah, go watch some. Go try some. Don't, you know, $45 for pub brawl.

What the fuck that? I could buy a soccer team for that. I'm going to quote Shane Beamer's son, scared money don't make money. God, $45 fucking dollars. Here's a spinoff question. Ryan, I'll pay for it. Yeah. From Chris at ComProf Ortega.

I'm a listener who doesn't really watch any college football. Should I pick a team to follow which one? This is the exception. No. I think Spencer is right in that, you know, the idea that you can just adopt a team and give a shit about it? No, just you got to marinate and one will reveal itself to you. The college football is the exception.

We have done the work for you. You are now a pit fan. Congratulations. There we go. Default. Well done. Welcome to the family. From FLGA line sucks on Twitter.

How do I deal with a good team? Like might win it all team. Oh, which one are you talking about there? No, who could that be? Probably not Florida. Sounds like Georgia. Yeah. I will say this.

Speaking of the state of Georgia, the one season that I wish I had enjoyed more while it was happening was the year that ended very poorly for the Falcons. I look back on and I remember a lot of games, a lot of special moments of having like, oh shit, we have the coolest offense in the NFL. This is awesome. And there's that sense of like, but this doesn't matter if we don't win at all. Fuck that. Live in the moment. Enjoy each awesome play. Enjoy each game.

Enjoy each Saturday. Don't worry about the future. The future doesn't exist. and maybe neither do you once it gets here that's the howling void it's the noise of the howling void the hounding void the hounding void all right i'll take one all right because it's kind of related kenneth martin seven on twitter says how do you continue watching college football but break the cycle of addiction and stop watching your team put on a miserable performance every week asking Holly in particular who sounds like she has decoupled from Tennessee nicely

there's been some recent confusion about this because hi Betty I do not watch Tennessee games and I would like to point out at this time that this does not mean the same thing as existing in an information blackout at your team it just means you don't watch these games live there are years when my father a Tennessee degreed life Tennessee or married to another lifelong Tennesseeer who put two children through Tennessee,

well, one halfway through Tennessee. That's another story. He won't watch the games at all when the season is too stressful. He will put them on DVR and if they win, he will watch the game. And if they don't win, he will delete it. And I respect that. I respect that kind of, you know, all or nothing approach mine is a little bit different you know i watched i watched two drives from the kentucky game because i was told there were interesting things happening in them but this all comes back to what you are expecting to get out of watching college football and adjusting that uh i don't think that putting your entire emotional well-being

on the backs of 22, 18 to 23-year-olds, 13, 15, 16 times a year is super healthy. It sure is funny. It sure does give us a great living when other people do it. I don't think it is a... Bo had this in his Twitter profile for a while. We shouldn't have this much access to each other. It becomes weirder and weirder to do that, the more you're able to learn about, these players, about these teams, about these coaches, about these institutions in real

time. But it doesn't really have anything to do with your team, breaking this cycle of being depressed about your team. It just has everything to do with you. Take the enjoyment where you can get it and don't leave the heavy stuff with you for too long. It's heavy. Put it down. If it's real heavy shit, like say your university's handling of Title IX, I can say from experience that quitting going to game sucks for a couple of years but your people will understand and if they don't then they're not really your people i think the main thing is you have to accept it's hilarious when your team loses everyone else is laughing at your team and there's no reason you shouldn't as well there is no obligation that if they win you feel happy therefore you owe them

sadness if they lose no you don't but that there's a difference but you're right i agree with that But there's a difference between I can accept the humor and the levity when my team fucks up. And I feel obligated to watch them when they are not entertaining. Yeah, there's no hair. There's no hair. I wasn't to that. It doesn't make you a Big Ten. I'm looking at you.

And I think it's probably because y'all had to watch so much NFL growing up. This is an especially prevalent affliction in the Big Ten of like, oh, I, I soldier through this because I, you know, I enjoy a pan. man nobody likes feeling like that either you get something real out of it whether that's hanging out with your friends in the parking lot before or watching during or going out to party after or you have some kind of family tradition that you enjoy carrying on you have one player you particularly enjoy watching but like nobody is helped by continuing to consume an inferior your product and insisting that this makes you some kind of better

human being. I disagree. I disagree. Somebody is somebody, no, somebody is helped and it's the people who make money off it. Like once you kind of, I'm not saying it's helped in a good way, but I'm saying, you're absolutely right. The benefit of

building this gatekeeping mechanism of if you're not with us through thick and thin and with us means going to games and buying shit and watching all these games, games on television and the commercials that come with them like that feels like a very natural way to separate the worthy from the unworthy but what it really is is a way to keep the coffers rich and flowing even when the results aren't there this is like the one of the only businesses at this point that relies on that premise that you to be a good member of the club must keep spending even if you're having a bad time like even a casino, when you're losing, will give you drinks, will comp you a buffet because they're like, hey, we recognize that you have to have a good time here.

So, like, once you sort of recognize that portrayal of loyalty as a marketing tool, you can kind of walk away from it and not feel as bad about it, especially in the sport where most of this money that you're spending doesn't go to the people who are risking. medical injury for it. It's okay to bandwagon. That's a fucking lie that you can't bad wagon. There's nothing cool. There's no such thing as a real fan or an unreal fan.

There's no such thing. There's no right or wrong way to fan. I invested zero agony, turmoil, et cetera, and the Atlanta baseball team for decades. But I celebrated because they won a championship. Because why the fuck wouldn't I? Sure. It's, listen, there is something fun about being invested of your own choice in somebody who goes from not good to good if like i know calves fans who when they finally broke through and won

the finals it was like this is fucking great for them and i get that and i'm not like but it should be a choice and it should be a choice you make because you're getting something out of it and not because you have been bullied into this sense of if i do if i don't do this i'm not a good fan i think there's one thing that i that has gotten me through really shitty florida football all seasons. You've had two national titles in the past 20 years. You don't get to complain yet. Well, and it has actually made me, I think, a better fan overall.

Okay. And it has made the sport better for me is this. Okay. I now watch for players. Like that's, I watch for, I watch for players and I watch for players put in good positions. It is really fun, for instance, to watch Hedin'Hooker at Tennessee, because all they do is, is drop bombs.

That's all Tennessee does, is drop bombs and punt. That's it. and it's just been really fun watching the light come on for some players I like watching Jacoby Dean at Georgia even though I despise Georgia because how could you not love watching Nicobi Dean?

He is just like the dog at the fence just the most fun that you'll have because they're also not here for long and also they're not going to be that player for long he's going to be a more polished and control player control player eventually but right now man that guy would that guy would hit the yard marker if he thought it had

the ball. It's beautiful. I absolutely absolutely love it. So that's, if I had one thing, I go, well, you know, like what can make it better for you? That. And I, I feel like we glossed over a response. And I want to, I want to pull back on one more thing. I said there's no such thing as a real fan or a good fan. And I can hear some of you saying, okay, what about the dudes with Bama, Lakers, Duke basketball, Dallas Cowboys in their bio? I think that those dudes do serve a purpose, which is that they are hilarious. and also they're harming

absolutely no one. They're hilarious and they're harming absolutely no one. Yeah, leave Drake alone people. I mean, look how much material we've gotten out of Kenny Chesney,

who again, I must remind you, drinks Malibu and Diet Coke and does not tip. Look how much mileage we've gotten out of Kenny Chesney's bandwagoning over the years. The thing with, I've gotten a lot of questions

about Tennessee this year because they're turning a corner and I, you know, me and not going to Tennessee games is a different thing than me and not watching Tennessee games. I don't watch because they're stressful. I root for the kids, most of them. But when it comes to, you know, supporting the school in person, it's like voting. My school does not care that I have not been to a game since 2015 and have no intention of going back

until they really, really, really adjust their approach to Title IX. Hi, Betty. It would matter if there were, you know, again, like voting. it would it by myself i don't do much it would matter if there were a hundred thousand to me but this is just something that i felt like i couldn't support anymore uh with my dollars because of the way they had handled some things behind the scenes and that's me that's just me i'm still gonna i'm still gonna i'm still gonna root for these kids uh i still want the best for this beautiful this beautiful band of snake-bitten

cursed warriors but yeah I don't feel the I don't feel the need on any given Saturday to put myself through this and if you ask why I would point you to the past 15 years am I insane or are you two things can be true but anyway

also there we got a bunch of questions like this I would like to think because my philosophy is taking hold over you know how do I do a couple from this team it's college football it's pretty easy dude there's 75 games on any given Saturday it's easy it's very different it's very different from like I've decided to abandon my local NFL team it's like well too bad fuck oh they're going to be the one o'clock game local to you like you you are it is very like I don't the Titans are

fine I don't have strong feelings about them one way or the other but like local liberal Ryan Nanny says the Titans are fine that's right that's right But, like, that's what I have to watch. That's not true of college football. Like, you always, there's always something else you can watch, and it's probably pretty entertaining. It's not like college football because the Nashville team is not fine. Yeah.

Yeah, it's, uh, it's, it's less. Hey, they played South Carolina a lot tighter in Florida did, all right? It's true, it's true. A lot tighter in Florida did. And you didn't think that was funny at all, by the way. We are, and also. So we're not acting like we have all, like, we have all arrived at these beautiful, complete places at our journeys. Spencer, you didn't think Saturday was funny at all.

No. I find it funny now. But at the time, at the time, I'm still at the point because I'm obviously super mature where it can make me miserable for a minute. This is the one thing where I do believe I have found some sort of transcendence because I watched on Sunday, the Atlanta Falcons were up. I think the score was 25 to 6 against the one team I give. a shit about beating the New Orleans Saints. Were you waiting for it? I was like, holy fuck, this is going to be so

fucking funny when we blow this. The one game all year I care about, beating them there. That's all I care about. We can go one in 16 as long as we beat them there. That's it. And we're going to blow it. This is the funniest thing in the world. Once you reach that state, I think you have ascended and you were done.

Jeannie, you're free. Can I... I used to describe Tennessee football fandom as having a third degree burn. Like, you can see the chars on your flesh, but nothing hurts anymore. And it is only after going through that that I arrived at this Gandalf the white stage on the other side.

Can I swing the wheel wildly to another lane? Yeah, hang on. I just wanted to say that I am more powerful and have better hair than in the first two movies and I have a kick-ass horse. And cloaks. Cloaks. So many cloaks.

Yeah. This is from Trojan chemist. Is buying a chainsaw a worthwhile investment? Hand in the dirt. God, yes. So first of all, the only worthwhile investment is acorns.com slash fullcast. So when you buy this chainsaw, what will happen is say you pay $200.10 for this chainsaw. That means 90 cents are going into your retirement fund at acorns.com slash fullcast,

which means with that $5 starter boost, you now have $5.10 on which to retire. That sounds like a pretty good deal. You can retire for several minutes on that. But wait. that $5.10 is going into the market investment stuff's happening and not bullshit like NFTs bullshit I don't understand is happening not that I understand NFTs either but the actual market is happening for the one for old people not the one for young people so by the time you do retire you'll have far more than $5.10 and a chainsaw um how are the chainsaw sons doing in their

uh investment portfolios these days Spencer uh I'm going to give everybody the update on that the uh the the gap by the way has flipped the unprecedented flip yeah okay

because remember um it had been that the buy the dip that the younger son right had been embezzling money taking money away therefore he was behind the elder son something has changed

Because, because after the past three weeks, something in either, in either one of their portfolios has shifted so that the younger son is now, in fact, substantially ahead of the older son. The last shall be first. Was there, is that what happened? By $54. What? $54. Yes. He was behind like $80 not that long ago.

Uh-huh. We have had a, we have had a triple-digit swing in the other direction. Do you suspect foul play? Only on Go-90. Oh, yeah, no. No one suspects Go-90. There's a reason. No one even suspected it at the time.

R-IP-Go-90. Real homies never die. So he's up 50? I can't believe this. Yeah, he's up 65. what have you have you interviewed uh 55 55 do we have any um we're going to be discussing this because i think maybe i have a theory and that's because the younger ones going been going super hard in crypto now my crypto i mean robot my crypto yeah roblocks that's yeah it's robox and

this is i have no i i have no doubt that if i go down this rabbit hole and i follow the money and ferret out the exact criminal conspiracy my younger child is running here that it involves some sort of cryptocurrency attached directly to robux right because i've given him more robux i got to admit he's probably like 15 bucks ahead in terms of total robux just because he's a hustler he's more persistent about it you know the older one has other interests he's like no robux dad i need robux so this is some sort of crypto move that he's made acorns.com slash forecast crypto moves and shit for children Crypto moves virtual coin.

To answer this question, Brat coin. We theory him. To answer this question straightforwardly, is buying a chainsaw a worthwhile investment? I apply the tuxedo logic to everything, which is very simple. You determine the cost of renting a tuxedo, and then you compare it to the cost of purchasing a tuxedo. And if you can honestly look at yourself and say, I will wear the tuxedo. tuxedo x times where x multiplied by the rental cost exceeds the cost of purchasing the tuxedo

outright then yes it's a good investment now the good news is unlike a tuxedo a chainsaw does not require your waist to stay the same size it does not require you to have to get invited to formal events it does not require like you to commit to one style you just got to have stuff you want to chop about. Brian, you've just invented the chainsaw corset. I was going to say you just invented the, we just invented the chainsaw ball, the one formal event where you do need a chainsaw to show up. So let's combine the two. I think you should buy a tuxedo and a chainsaw. If the tuxedo doesn't fit you, what do you? You tailor it with the chainsaw. That's correct. That is how tailoring works. Yes. I will say, look that is so popular nowadays. Renting a chainsaw is

deeply satisfying. Buying a chainsaw has a little more pressure because then you have to decide which chainsaw you're getting renting a chainsaw you just show up and you're like give me that one and you take it home and you chainsaw some shit so so i would say if you're not committed to this idea go rent one try it out for a day see how you feel but ultimately yeah you're probably going to use it enough that it's worth buying a chainsaw right also that you may be in a place i don't know where this person lives you may be in a place where you will really need one when you need one you will really really need one i.e. Florida or any other place with extreme weather where you're going to have zombies that's another thing if you happen to want to audition to be the mascot for the Portland Timbers that is definitely something

you're going to need if that's a dream of yours because it's a bring your own chainsaw kind of job like the people in the Mad Max Fury Road universe who didn't buy chainsaws before society fell were probably pretty pissed like those are the people who are like begging for water and shit the people with chainsaws they're driving cars

because they have the remember those are the people who need relationship advice be your own a Morton Joe be your own a Morton Joe in life that's right you know what we don't see in those movies oh hold on server what do you got what do you got well there's been some wishy-washiness here

and I just want to say out I just want to say outright from from my perspective you can follow hitty pod on Twitter hand of the dirt a gardening podcast about football really it's a lifestyle podcast it's really a lifestyle podcast It's really a server fights with Hartzell podcast

Yeah, probably more of that Shop smart, shop S-smart, buy a chainsaw Buy it, get it, have it, own it, keep it forever You will never regret it You're right, I'm only hedging because if you live in an apartment Don't buy a chainsaw, you don't need that You absolutely don't need a chainsaw Any other situation, you need one

Yeah I do not have a chainsaw because I don't have any yard equipment of my own because I live in a house that is very old and very cute but does not have any kind of storage in terms of carport shit I need a shed I'm going to get a shed I haven't gotten a shed I'm getting around to a shed at some point but Christmas shed nor garage Christmas shed Christmas shed no garage no storage no storage of any kind and if I keep a chainsaw anywhere in this house Spencer's sons are going to find it yeah there is that there is it is uh all the fun yard shit is is uh being left to the professionals for now

but that's because of my living situation in all other instances i i know they do the big the big bow for christmas cars which i don't but if you like woke up on christmas morning and there was a fully assembled shed with a bow on it that would fucking rule i would love a christmas shed do you want to tell them i have a giant bow we actually already have a giant car bow for reasons that it's kind of a long story is it for a christmas shed can it be for a christmas shed christmas shed oh christmas shed you're empty and i love you're empty and i love you i'll put the spitz hall store here when it's cold in here i'll drink beer Oh, Christmas shed, oh Christmas shed, 800 bucks at Home Depot.

That's not a lot. No, it's really not. No, but the assembly takes work. Don't, don't shortchange it. But they'll build it. They'll build it for you. They'll build it for you. Coward.

That's right. Retreat is always an option in the military manual, Ryan. I'm never getting water lude. Never. This is actually the reason I have not pulled the trigger on a shed in three plus years of living at this house because i don't want one of those like rubber made ones i want a sorry this is a hand in the dirt uh segment now i don't i want yeah server invoked it look where we are at now no i want one that's made of wood or metal like i don't want one of those ones that just

looks like a rubber made tub that's standing up on its side and they're expensive as shit is okay i have a question for you guys that's this survey because i would like to hear what as an adult uh as an adult homeowner has been the greatest instance of stickers shock for you guys because for me it was finding out how much like a basic ass chain link fence cost oh yeah fencing's bad it's on like where are the

mattress industry disruptors on fencing have you guys ever tried to put a fence up and find out how much that shit runs you no but I've talked to people so yeah even just like the uncodedest rust fastiest like

cheap asses little chain link fence you can get is You can't get out of there for under four figures. It's nuts. I built a fairly modest wooden privacy fence at our old house, really small backyard. And then we got a doxen. They like to burrow.

So the fence had to be constantly modified and expanded with all sorts of patchwork around the bottom. You are your own immortal, Joe. That fence quickly, yeah, fencing is expensive, especially when you have to constantly modify it on the fly. especially for something that's just pieces of something else but when it comes to things that you can have your body inside home field apparel i've got one my body inside one right now will contain your body for low prices and way less than four figures much more comfortable than a fence i'll stand by that home field apparel is the opposite of a fence in terms of comfort and you can put that on the website

love my snugly cotton fence you'll never take a fence to the value and comfort oh my god if you're saying and you were mocking that other dude on hinge fuck you no i was mocking the other dude on so is he so is he i'm proud of him i'm proud of both of you so i think the opposite of chain link fencing all of you i think the opposite of chain link fencing in terms of comfort is homefield apparel clothing wouldn't you agree yes because chain link fencing is bad and home field apparel is very good Plus, if you put up Miami-branded chain-leg fence, your neighbors will have a lot of questions. But if you buy a Miami-branded sweatshirt, they'll only have a few questions. Actually, I think, you know, they did drop a new Purdue shirt.

I will say if you had a Purdue-branded fence, I would hide from a nuclear blast behind a Purdue-engineered fence. Do you think they make Purdue nutcrackers that look like Purdue Pete? Oh, 1,000 percent. If not, we're about to. It's going to happen. We're going to make it happen. Just a record number of business ideas from us in this show. Is that not what he is?

He's been cracking nuts lately, buddy. God, these are horrible. About to crack these buck nuts. I have found one, but it looks, yeah, it's bad. I hate it. Never mind. Sorry. This is a thing from hell.

Forget I said anything here. Nutcrackers in general are like underrated in the horror aspect. I'll say this is... I would watch the Nutcracker Ballet with Purdue Pete as the titular Nutcracker. The problem they made with this Purdue Pete is that the Nutcracker is mounted nowhere near close to his jaw. Oh, God! Oh, God. No, no, no, no, no, no, no.

Yep. He's more a chestburster. He's got a chest mouth. Yep. Yeah, he has a chest mouth. You know what would cover that up? A comfy hoodie from home field apparel. That's right. Hurry, quick. Use offer code full cast. You get 20% off your first. order and I'm going to do this because... 20% off your chest mouth covering. It's going to make

Connor crazy. Hopefully by the time you listen to this, there will be new full cast shirts up there. The clock is now ticking, Connor. Wow. Can we tell people what shirts we are we are putting up there or do we want to make that a surprise too? Let's leave that. Let's leave that surprising. Let's lay a mystery on a mystery. All right. Good. You don't get to vote just to be clear. Don't tell us shirts to make we already decided it's not up to you none shall know the hour we love you no um i would like to ask i would like to answer a question from at colin culpa colin culpa who said where should i move to after college because i have a great answer that's real broad somewhere you want to be somewhere you want to be but how do you know where that is well one

follow interest and opportunity is there a place you're interested in do you have an opportunity there. Ooh, if you got both those, that's incredible. That's great. Because I will tell you this, there's nothing quite like the bond between somebody fresh out of college and or entering young adulthood and the city that they choose to go to. Okay? You'll bond to that place. You'll bind to it. You'll have it dictate a lot of your tastes and interests and attitudes for a while. You may ultimately grow to despise it. Hello everyone who moved to New York immediately after college. You're not there anymore, so that's fine, because you turn 30. But if that's the kind of thing that you're interested in, go do it, right?

Because most of the time, somebody's like, hey, where should I go? Maybe they have no idea, but most of the time there's kind of a clue. Most of the time they're like, there's a, you know, ooh, I had a spot. I had a place that I was interested in. Like, I really wasn't interested in being anywhere, then drove through Atlanta, and I was like, oh, this seems cool. That's how I ended up here, quite literally. Just, I don't know, it seemed nice, had a good vibe.

enjoyed it and that's how I ended up here so I think if you if you're the kind of person by the way if you're like hey I just graduated from college where should I go and the first answer out of your mouth is something outlandish like yeah I want to go live in Marrakesh go do that go when else are you going to have this opportunity right I come back to that theme a lot there is no point in your life where you will be cheaper than this none untethered by presumably untethered by partners pets kids like the the more of a life you make, the harder it is to pick up and go anywhere. So hurry quick before you have those stakes and go. Yeah, wherever it is. Yeah, it's too late for us, but not for you. I like that Spencer's Atlanta review is, I tried to drive through it, but there was so much traffic I couldn't. I just stayed. It seemed easier.

Guess I'm here now. I guess I live here. I interrupted you, Spencer. It worked out great. No, it's an extremely, it's an extremely, it's an extremely, very. valid point um you know i will say it like if you are one of these people who um i was talking with uh with a friend the other day was like yeah man tampa was one of my favorite places i ever lived and i'm like well well hell damn the first person i've ever heard say that but second person you've ever heard say

that maybe second oh yeah Alex really likes Tampa but he has a little he's never i don't even think he's been there no yeah no he just like the idea of it he fetishizes Tampa from afar as what i'll do How long do you think Alex could live in Tampa before he cracked? What season? Are we putting it? It's Tampa. There aren't season. Like no,

no, there's food. There's hot and there's food poisoning. Yeah, there's hot food poisoning in hell. Here's the thing. Now, that used to be true.

Tampa's just food poisoning now. It's just food poisoning. How does Alex, by the way, how does Alex ever decide he, like, where to live? Because he's just cool wherever he is.

He's like, ah, that seems nice. is fine like is he does he live where he lives does he live in dc because he's just like well i'm here i've seen him bright side some truly horrific air bambes yeah so i think he's just he's so well adjusted to life in general that like he become a city council person but i think it's like organ trail the the key factor in this is when do you start him down there and is he a because if you put him down there in like may i don't know if he'd make it through the summer if you put

him down there in like september and he got through the the steam table that's been turned off for an hour and a half season mm-hmm not bad not bad that's a little clammy yeah but you know it's hot it's fine but you know i love shellfish yeah you know tradeoffs uh but yeah that's that's my advice just go somewhere cool go somewhere you want to go and hey guess what if you don't like it nothing lost nothing gain man you know you're definitely nothing gain because you've been in tampa correct or you could produce Ryan like Ryan's parents did our special boy that's not how that happened

but you weren't, wait, you weren't born in Tampa? No, I was born in Gainesville. Tampa Night. Well, I guess someone, there, some good has come out of it. Yep, there it is. This is from Tuba 1060. What should I have for lunch today? I listen to this episode.

You should have a salad with meat and it. chicken ham tuna doesn't matter here's why the the primary goal at this point in my life is to not eat a lunch that makes me think too much about dinner i just want a lunch that makes me say like whatever we're having for dinner is fine if we're having chili cool if we're having tacos cool if we're having burgers fine so i just need lunch to be something that i will feel fine about whatever dinner is and ryan lives in an apple bees what you're trying to say is that credit wise you don't want to make any seriously damaging decisions that cause you to look and go well i was going to buy a house but i guess this trailer is going to have to do for dinner yes yes you're trying

to get through without making serious financial mistakes with your with your caloric i am treat i am treating lunch like a hotel stop on a road trip where i am not visiting that city i need it to be functional i need it to be clean i need it to be cheap i don't need it to be nice or exciting or an experience. I'm just using it. Lunch is a waypoint. Let's notice, Ryan, that you're advocating a method that has worked well for the most successful college football coach of all time. Nick Saban eats a turkey salad every single day.

Like, it seems, it seems absurd, but I kind of get it. I do kind of get it at this point. No one needs to think very much about lunch, ideally. No. Like breakfast, I want to have the, I want, like, I like the variety of breakfast. I want different things based on the weather. dinner kind of has the same thing going for it plus like dinner is more of a thing where you're thinking about okay maybe I'm cooking for multiple people lunch is just like let's just check this off the list let's get it done um I have I want to address a question that I have it's both an answer

and then a proposal this is from at Slamberra aka Paul on Twitter who asks I am going to Vegas this weekend congratulations which number should I put down for each of y'all on the roulette wheel i don't want to speak for anybody else but for me well that's why he asked all of us double zero you're going to put down double zero here's why everyone forgets that there's two greens i forget that there's two greens you say this and i'm like who is everyone that's forgetting this no go there and they're like numbers numbers and then it'll never live in the green and somebody forgets it right who actually who actually gambles here who has actually got the wisdom of stupidity okay there it just it's just it just

This hack is basically like, listen, at Blackjack, everybody forgets that queens are an option. So just keep drawn. And it's like, nobody forgets that. That's because you're thinking about it from a theoretical perspective, okay? You have no actual practical knowledge of how to play roulette. It's on the table. You re-label it in every free. Practical knowledge of how to play roulette.

Yeah, practical roulette knowledge because it is a science. That PDF is one page long with no words. You say this confidently. enough and with enough made up detail, Malcolm Gladwell will write a whole book about it and steal everything I said. I'm really glad that you said that because I was about to inform newer listeners that Spencer has a strategy for playing roulette, which again is a game where you drop, where a ball is dropped by someone else into a spinning wheel and you decide where it lands. And Spencer has a strategy for playing roulette, which is, and I quote, you have to have a good attitude. It's true. I will

teach you my system for just $69.99. Go to pub brawl.tv. All we need is one person and then we've paid for the website for a year plus. That's a great way of looking at it. If you go to chance, if you go to...

Business is easy. Yeah. If you go to the links in my Twitter bio, go to Channel 6, subscribe and I will give you the system. That's all caps with a rights reserved trademark. That should be our Friday. Our Friday newsletter this will be. the system okay and it does involve having a positive attitude because i believe the secret is total

bullshit except when it comes to roulette now here's the thing here's the second part of me explaining spencer's strategy of roulette and here is the problem for our jokes i have been to Vegas with you i i don't know how many times at this point i have never in my life seen spencer lose it roulette it's scary i think if you're going to mark this at the no it makes absolutely no goddamn sense. It enrages me that this is what he does. I have never seen him have a losing spin at roulette. Never. And we've been working together for like 15 years. If you're going to market this size of the system, you need like a photo of you in like maybe a black cowboy shirt. You need a look. Like we need to pick one. Yeah. Use that cartoon that they put a view in car and driver.

Yeah. We'll do that except we'll put some dice and some guy Fierry like dice on the horns. Dice on the horns and some frosted tips. Yep. We can get some frosted. dice from the horns. Yep. Come up. Diners drive-ins and dice. Yeah. My only suggestion is instead of the system, I think that that is close.

That's close to the name. What if we changed it to, this would be a really good name for a book about like manifesting results. Call it the secret. I bet nobody's done that. Okay. This is a good suggestion. This is a great suggestion for our Giving Tuesday podcast, a holiday of our own invention.

But I will say this. when you say how do how do people forget those Ryan you know of roulette as a theoretical game right right with numbers that are all equally probable and somebody just spins a ball in there okay he was done talking about

the way people play it they actually totally like they'll go like it'll land and you'll see four or five people at table be like shit I didn't know those were there seriously do not overestimate the intelligence of the people at this table I am thinking they'll go like double I heard this out loud

add a roulette table in Vegas once. How come they have two zeros? Like that was, somebody was like, how do they do that? Now, I want to propose, by the way. I want to go ahead and just give Vegas some free money. Okay? And here's how. Because they're hurting.

God. They're hurting. Okay? If you want to make roulette the most profitable and popular game in the entire casino, take one number and put 69 in there. That's it. Because you'll get so many idiot bros over there being like, I've got to put it on nice.

Nice, nice, there. It'll become the most profitable table in the whole place. Wesley Snipes really should get a cut. The Snipes tax. We're going to put a 420 and a 666 and a 666. Oh my God, this is our casino. Put all the meme numbers in there. Put all the meme numbers in there.

Give me a thousand on boobless. You, a simpleton, boobless, me, a gentleman. I put it on boobs. I figure everyone does. I think Ryan's trying to outfox the market. The number you should put down for me, I don't have one. The number you should not pick is 10,

because 10 is the number I thought, and I'm bad at Roulette, so don't, don't do 10. Any other number? Put 34 for me. We got a zero and a 10. I'll take the other one. One. Put it down for one, please.

That sounds like those. For some reason, that sounds like a mad, reckless bet to me. You're like, I'm putting it all on one. And I'm like, oh, shit. I think maybe I'm picturing a roulette wheel that is nothing but computer code. 011.11. That would be another good roulette wheel. God, if we just revolutionized casino gaming on Giving Tuesday?

We really did. This is going to be the most searchable podcast. Nothing but Morse code all the way around. to see some guy biting his lower lip and sweating and going it's all on 69 put it all on 69 bro putting like my inheritance

from my dead great grandfather on 69 it's my last three grand now put it all up 420 guys you know who does this you know who does this the Marines they do the Marines bro that's all right I got at least

$400 saved up we're good it's what dad would have wanted. I'm just going to get some cigarettes, some ripped fuel, and some protein powder, and I'm good for the next six months. How's there not a Walberger's casino? Yet. Give it time. Is that what we've just invented?