Shutdown Fullcast - Glory, Glory, Hallowed Blue GA

Episode Date: January 13, 2022

- Celebrating the great victory for our shiny cerulean antifa state!  - Hear our entire production meeting as a preshow treat, not a postproduction glitch! It's mostly about the dadlife murder fantasia "Yellowstone" masquerading as prestige television and the people who have lied to us about that. - Is Mark Richt totally Mark Wrecked over Kirby winning a title with yet another no-account quarterback? - From the Great Beyond of parental leave, hear Ryan's theory about what took so long for Georgia to get this one done! - Jason returns home with a newfound appreciation for Indianapolis! - Everyone on the show adds "Get in a barfight on GMA" to their respective bucket lists. - The gang invents an entirely new kind of funeral, the “Catch-a-Carl." - Welcome to the Fullcast EU, airborne sensei Ronald O. Hamburger! - Spencer mixes up "less than zero chance" with "greater than zero chance" – will this have consequences??  - Visit sunny preownedairboats.com Learn more about your ad choices. Visit podcastchoices.com/adchoices

Jason, have you watched Yellowstone at all? Uh-uh. Okay, first of all, server, have you watched Yellowstone? Nah, I keep getting told to. Dude, it is, it is such trash. It is so good. It is, like, masquerading as Prestige TV. The intro's all glossy and has this like,

like, Game of Thrones meets, Gunsmoke kind of music, and everything's really expensive and shot, you know, on film stock, and it's gorgeous. Right. They obviously spend the, earth on scenery and location shooting and there's actual credited actors in this like stage people anyway it's basically a fucking telenovela in the first four episodes like eight people die like four of them accidentally and two of them are just like hey could you go kill that

guy for us and like they just slaughter him and nobody's like hey where's rick it's like oh tuesday guess rick didn't come into work um at one point in the series a bomb is set on a plane and nobody ever addresses it. Like, there's just a bomb on a plane two seasons later, and nobody's ever figured out what happened to it. It's just written, it's written by, like, it's produced by adults, and it's written by a hyperactive 12-year-old boy

who thinks you can get shot, like, twice a week and be fine. Like, this is a character who just... So when did you start writing it, Spencer? Six weeks ago. Great work. When is this set? It's going great. The present.

It's set in the present. Jason there's a dude who's straight up like get shot twice at close range like point blank range and then absolutely beats the fuck out of the guy who shot him twice at point blank range okay does the the mountain thing and thumbs like the dude's eyes out yeah um you know which is definitely an easy way to kill somebody that i want like that's got to be the disproportionately the the kill method that appears in movies and shows more disproportionately than any other compared to real life, right? Well, in real life, like, if you did that,

the person would be like, ow, you've blinded me. It wouldn't kill you, right? It would send him into, like, a violent, desperate, fucking rage. Like... Yeah. In other movies...

Go to sleep. Yeah, like in movies and shows, they act like that's the off button for a human, right? Just press their, hold for 10 seconds, and they'll reset, you know? They'll do a hard reset. But anyway, and he gets shot twice. And then afterwards, he's like,

Oh, are you okay? You know, to the lady who was being attacked. He's like, you're okay, okay, good. Hey, you should call a doctor. And he holds his side like he just ran too hard. Yeah. He's like, oh, okay. Two episodes later, dude's like sprinting in jeans and boots.

He's fine. Which would only make sense, but the woman suffers grievous injuries that last like until the next season. Like they do makeup and shit. But Rip Wheeler's like, that's cool. You need me to kill somebody again? My Wednesday's open. So I'm hearing a lot of, uh,

a lot of no-selling. There's a lot of, there's a lot of no-selling. Rip Wheeler could no-sell God. God would be like cancer and he'd be like, wah-ha! No. We've got an undertaker on this show. Listen, he is absolutely an undertaker. Also, everyone talks in wrestling.

Like, everybody walks in promoing. Like, there's no small talk on this show. Somebody walks in and they're like, let me tell you what, Brett Hart? You know, like they, it's instant. So that was not what I wanted to talk about. The scene I wanted to talk about that was the funniest shit I have seen on TV in a long time is they start off one scene by having a livestock cop find two guys who beat up a girl trying to steal the trailer. Like it's a horse and it's a trailer, right? And they beat her up.

Like they hit her in the face. Oh, you hit a lady in the face. These two dudes are in Fort Bad. So the cops are like, yeah, we'll take him to the station one second. And they put him in the horse trailer. And this guy is given. Yeah, it's given like a happy scene where it's like, woo, I got these cattle thieves in the back of the horse trailer

and I'm doing the jackass on roller skates thing, right? Like he's stopping, he's starting, he's winging them around and they're like flying all over the back. And they're playing like festive banjo like Burr-Ber-Bupper-Pak-Bah-Bah-Bah-Bah-Bah-Wat. Like total like, oh, hey, festive fun with bad guys kind of music. And then they have this triumphant wing back into the rodeo where he steers the truck and the horse trailer back in.

And it's like, all right, boys, enough fun. I think we need to take these guys into the station. And he opens the door. And the music. fucking stops and there's two corpses eyes open dead as hell blood everywhere like he's totally fucking slaughtered these two

guys he's like oh no and I laugh for like 10 minutes straight because the show does this very stupid thing where they're like we are with the fun guy it's totally fun corpses sorry he's an idiot do we mean to tell you he's an idiot

and he just killed two guys who you'll never ask about again. Good job. Live stock cop. Live, yes. That's a thing. In Montana, apparently if you put on livestock police or whatever, you can just shoot anyone. You can just roll up and like gun down civilians. It's fine. Why would the regular cop not be able to handle livestock crimes?

It's just like special training. You don't understand. You might understand the streets, but you don't understand the pastures, brother. You don't speak cow. You don't speak cow. I got sources on the inside. I'm deep undercover. I was undercover for years.

Part of he still is. So I went so undercover if I thought I was a cow. The way they described this law enforcement agency, too, is like, the badges are just transferable between people. Like at one point, the dad just hands a badge over to his son. He's like, take this. huh like uh like the badge itself is imbued like thor's hammer my my parents are not the type to like sit here and watch clean eastwood and be like ah this is this is how things should be so they told me to watch this show and i thought it would be like brooding into the sunsets and in the first three episodes in each of the first three episodes the youngest son of kevin costner uh commits an unplanned murder and i'm like Does this go on? Is this just ever,

if this was the premise every week of the show, I would, I think I would like it a lot more. But like in the first three episodes, by the end of the third hour, he's killed three people. None of it was premeditated, right? He just found himself in situations

where he had to kill somebody. And he's like, dipshit, it's like, it's almost, yes, it's almost like a sitcom of like, oh,

here's another body squint. Like, what if the Dukes of Hazard had like a, a TVMA rating. Yeah, like, imagine, you know, they would always freeze frame it. It's the weirdest fucking thing I've seen. You know, they'd always freeze frame it. Whalen Jennings, you know, would be like, well, these Duke boys are

trouble. How are they going to get out of this barrel of syrup? There's two corpses in the back of the horse. Right. The freeze frame is somebody dropping someone off a cliff and it stops halfway and it's like, well, looks like the button's got themselves and another pickle. So maybe this show is like the Dukes who are

themselves hazards. Mm-hmm. The hazard duke. the dukes is hazards yeah that is 100% what they have given this is a truly revolutionary thing although i under i'm very glad to be separated from the discourse because everything i've ever seen written about this show has been like oh a searing look at the american west and now that i'm in this i'm like y'all this chris jerk uh chris driver uh jerk we calls this show unplanned ranch murder and i think that's pretty much that really does cover it and everyone's like, oh, why aren't you talking about Yellowstone?

I'm like, all of y'all have been pretending you're watching Prestige Cable and you're just watching Ranch Murder of the Week, and I love this. There was a scene last night between an especially violent lady and a dude. No, we have to talk about who this is. This is important to say who this is because they have given the role of, like, you know, that one, that one, everybody's get that in these shows. Everybody's got that one sibling who's just uncountably violent and contains like hidden depths of violent rage like the James Kahn and the godfather thing it's a girl in this in this show it's it's about time it's about time it's the daughter who just commits nonstop acts of violent

terrorism on people good for her oh it's great it's Kelly Riley too who I love but last night anyway the show in a nutshell was this this girl going nobody's at the ranch we should have sex in the middle of this rodeo ring and the guy goes maybe later but right now we need to dance little lady and he's like music starts playing and he just wants romance and she's like now fuck me in the dirt and he's like he's like maybe later but first I need a little warm hey they got through the scene without anybody getting murdered that's that's the start it sounds like this show is like Walker Texas Ranger the ranch is empty because everybody else is out murdering I'm not kidding the ranch is only empty because the grandson of one of the other

kids the son of the kid who commits all the murder so Kevin Costner's grandson was kidnapped by a Montana militia. And so all of the ranch hands are on some kind of recon mission to get the kid back. And in the course of doing that, they kill six people. So. The show is great. Walker, Texas Ranger mixed with Far Cry with a budget. Yeah.

Yeah. Massive budget. Like, like, like, and, and, and the budget sounds unnecessary. My, the only character. Oh, sorry. I forgot to tell you. Because you haven't seen the episode after they kill the guys in the horse trailer. The next episode after that opens with the agent who did the killing of the guys in the horse trailer being furious that he is in jail.

The only logical character in the whole show is the guy who, when they are shooting people randomly at a survivalist camp, they ask him a question, like, where's the boy? And he just shoots himself. Just like, just, hey. Everybody's so dramatic. It's great. But they find the cult leader in the, and they're like, where's the boy? And he's like, I know where he is. Welcome to the shutdown full cast.

You are listening. Dog is confused and alarmed by the noises coming out of your body. To the internet's only college football podcast. I am Spencer Hall, joining me, as always, my co-hosts to my right in Atlanta, Georgia, Holly Anderson. Now, to your immediate right is the dog. There is a dog sitting on this couch in between us. That is Betty. Jason Kirk and beautiful Kennesaw, Georgia here.

with the light of Magic Hour behind him, lighting him as if he were a character from Yellowstone itself. Hello, Jason. Howdy. Is that how they talk? We know he's not on Yellowstone

because he's not, as far as I can tell, murdering someone. Murdering or being murdered. I'm not hiding from livestock cops. Y'all lied to us about this being a prestige show unless this is just, is this what Breaking Bad was like?

Breaking Bad was kind of, like breaking bad would occasionally do really are like what yellowstone doesn't do anything patently weird overtly weird breaking bad but do overtly weird things to let you know you are watching quote art unquote so this is yeah this is one more to add to our list of if breaking bad was good you we disagree on this but no that's fine um it was sorry claws and yellowstone No other show featured Brian Cranston throwing a pizza on a roof and a fit of anger. So I'm just going to go ahead and point that out as a resume point. Oh, God.

Jason. She just got chew on you now. Did you see Stets and Bennett's, I am like, I'm the King Kong of the shit moment after Georgia won the national title? No, when was this? Probably no. No. I was spending seven minutes walking across all of Indianapolis. so I missed it at the time.

It's done. You missed Stetson Bennett when they asked him about being an underdog. Stetson Bennett basically postgame said, I am, you know, I'm sorry, I'm here. I'm obviously the best, which good for him. I just like that in that moment, Georgia's 5-9, 510 quarterback who weighs 120 pounds and who somehow managed to hold onto the starting job

when given the mic immediately, went full heel immediately went how dare you this is my belt y'all come get it this was stetson bennett's big moment i'm just glad that he decided to completely depart reality admit nothing and be like yeah better than bryce young yeah i'm better than i'm better than i'm better i'm better than i can't crow facial hair but i'm better than bryce young i can't crow pencil thin mustache i can't throw for 5,000 yards but i better because i'm here don't look at the other people on this team don't it's me me i'm the best quarterback it's a team sport but but but me i appreciated it that bless his heart yeah what a place in georgia's quarterback lineage like all the guys

they've had who have like set records and shit you know as you say SEC records and so on and so forth they still have all-time completions king grace and lambert the number of five stars who they've have recruited, who've transferred elsewhere, typically, who've transferred in and then immediately transferred out without playing. Like, what a list. What a freaking list. The ones they should have grabbed, the ones they should have been able to sign. And this is the guy. I wish he'd gotten up there and been like, this is for Joe Cox. This for Joe Cox. This is for Jason Lambert. This is for Eric Zier. This for Joe Teresinski. Oh, all of them. Bauta.

No, no. Oh, oh, oh, Faiton Bata. This is for, you know what? I got it. I got it. I got it. this is for Logan Gray. This is for Fair Catching Logan Gray. Get ready to hear Fair Catch by Logan Gray because all my rowdy friends are here for G-Day. Yo, this is for Matthew Stafford. That's right.

I hadn't thought about this until this moment. How steamed is Mark Ricked? I know he doesn't. I know Mark Rick doesn't get mad. Unless it's Todd Grantham. But how mad is Mark wrecked looking at this screen and being like, fucking really? Had Aaron Murray

threw in for 4,000 yards And yet this is what gets it done Not that Mark Rick would ever say the F word either And I apologize for even implying that I feel bad This for DJ Shackle y'all Fellowship is an F word That is true

It is fitness Fortitude Fiber fiber Fiber Yeah fiber Yeah big one Not that this needs reinforcing at this point, but lest you ever doubt the levels of derision that Todd

Grantham inspires even in his closest colleagues. Never forget that Mark Richt called him a dumbass on television. Hey, I'm just optimistic because one program got rid of Todd Grantham and several years later won a national title. We've done the same. So there's a possibility, we could have a trend of two. A lot of programs have gotten rid of Todd Grantham for the years. A lot of titles to be won. Ryan had another theory related to why this was finally George's year. Ryan's theory was that while SB Nation was covering college football for so many years

and that getting rid of all of us was like erasing a binding ruin. And all of George's title hopes were, as he put it in like, like a Ghostbusters containment unit. Yeah. And when they removed all of, we were the ones preventing it because we all stood in front of the door. And now George's title hopes

are lumbering around town like the State Puff Marshmellon Man. Well, I still subscribe mostly to the Alex Kirshner theory that, you know, it's just cool to see a blue state beating Alabama for football titles, you know? That's just cool.

It's just cool to see, like, you know, a truly national sport that unites America. You know, you have a baby blue state, with, you know, just a radical Antifa communist socialist state like Georgia, able to win in such a traditionally deep South Red State sport. I personally love to see it. I mean, a big red team with a stunning ground attack, not much in terms of advanced technology and just a deep depth chart all the way around that really can, you know, at every single

point, it's a no name, you know, not that it's a no name defense. we know the names on the defense but everybody contributes right we spread the tackles around there's not one person you can zero in on it sounds like the red army to me right by the way that's the champion that's the that's the championship red army that won world war two we'll just go ahead and point that dog fans get on that revisionist get off that revisionist of shit get on with the realness right that that's right that time you got arrested for dw i in st simmons that was your personal Stalingrad there we go and just like Stalingrad you won but at a great cost about $14,000 including attorney's fees and now look at you and now look at you champions

Jason what was the what was the title game experience like apart from being the only neutral partisan in a sea of a sea of fans it was cool it was fun I guess for the for the listeners for working on our space immediately after the game. I was in the Twitter suite with like, you know, some former athletes and some like some ESPN folks and some people from other parts of the internet that I'm like, oh, that's that's a different part of the like TikTok people and whatever. And like it was like 90 something percent Georgia fans. There was Blake Sims in there who was holding down for Alabama talking a lot of shit for Alabama and good for him. And like he was one I mentioned elsewhere

that like Bama fans walking out were just like ah fuck it see you in L.A. next year. Blake Sims as things started to go south like there was no point when he was like oh man this is bad we're going to lose it was very much just like shrug we'll be better

I'm pretty sure I heard at least one Bama fan say not bad for a rebuilding year but yeah and then at some point there was a video of like we're in front of the wall of Georgia fans. We were, the Spike Squad was like within shouting distance of us.

Several media folks who you can see in the front of the suite who are Georgia fans are going crazy and like there's me wearing blue. Only person in a whole stadium wearing blue. And I'm just like this is a high quality football game. I have no attachment whatsoever to the outcome

but I appreciate that many people do. And like, yeah. So briefly went like like mildly viral for being like uninvested unbothered guy but like it was cool it's cool shout out Twitter shout after after all those posts

thank you to Twitter for acknowledging my posting I guess in the middle of all this and I in the middle of all this and I guess he was out being a person or living a life we got a message from producer Doug who had screencapped it and he was like is that Jason

yeah buddy yeah and then enjoyed the incredibly efficient walk through uh indianapolis as as we discussed in our space um indianapolis a marvel of engineering of of human achievement the uh america's place where we put stuff we want to get done quickly i think is indianapolis mcdonald's playland it's all just little tunnels yeah it's very tunneling it's very skywalky it's an incredible place if you want to take 70,000 southerners and put them somewhere where it's 20 degrees and you want them to still be happy, it's Indianapolis, because they don't have to go outside at all, at all. It's amazing.

It's an archaeology is what Indianapolis is. It's a habitat. It's a, I think it was Matt Scalisi who said, like, it feels like a city where that was planned on purpose, which coming from someone from Birmingham, saying that to someone from Atlanta, it's like, what the fuck is this? These buildings are in places for reasons, right? Right? So, yeah. I mean, Birmingham was designed with a purpose in mind.

It just wasn't the same purpose. You want everybody to be able to get down here and out? Yeah, so like, I mean, whenever they put another event in Indianapolis, everyone will say, oh, there's not glamorous nightlife and whatever. And it's like, okay, if you want that, you're right. But like, man, you're going to be able to leave so fast. I like it when people are like. Yeah, why don't we put the time? the title game back where it's supposed to be in Scottsdale.

I mean, I have fond feelings towards Scottsdale, but it's not exactly like the greatest place to actually watch a game and go out and do something. What are your attachments to Scottsdale? Oh, no, I'm just saying glamorous nightlife. Yeah, glamorous nightlife. People could drastically overestimate themselves when it comes to, hey, man, you don't, they ain't got any nightlife, you know?

Because you're going to go out and tear it up. Yeah, you're going to go tear it up at Liv in Miami, right? Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. You're going to be up in the club. You're going to be in the VIP. Takes an hour and 45 minutes to drive anywhere from the Rose Bowl, even if you're staying in Pasadena. Just Stu Mandel popping bottles in the VIP. Million dollar Mandel, he can afford it. Million dollar Mandel?

Just, yeah. No, you don't need nightlife. People like you need nightlife. No, you don't. You don't. You are all over 30 and most of you are over 40. You want hotel sleep. That's what you want to do. You want. You want blackout curtains that work. You want a nice hotel bar, right? So you can get a couple of bud lights. You want room service that stays open past 11. That's it.

And then you want to be able to get in and out of there. That's what 85 to 90% of y'all want when it comes to nightlife. Yeah, be honest. It's okay. It's being, like, there's no shame in saying, I enjoyed my time in this city because everything got done. And, you know what I mean? Like, it's okay to count that. You know, you don't have to say, like,

And I didn't, I wasn't able to commit any crimes. It was so boring. Stop running, man. Come on. It's okay. You're boring. And listen, a good number of the people who were, a good number of the people who were complaining about that.

Yet we know you're all super eager to cheat on your spouses. We've seen how you rock. Just why are you so loud about it? My God. Just get on Tinder and shut up. Tenders everywhere. You're going to, you're going to Vegas at some point soon, very soon. We just go to Vegas.

the masters are coming right up augusta strip clubs are here for you just calm down i need nightlife we sell cocaine in every major city in america every major city has cocaine i need nightlife i need a strip club i haven't been thrown out of yet and they still have my picture up everywhere in uber distance that's not you're telling me the home of jim ursay doesn't have night life come on now seriously jim what if you just at jim's plug and you are good Just find Jim Ursay. Just follow the sirens to Jim Ursay's house. What I'm really hearing is just a lack of initiative.

And the sirens aren't. Law enforcement, by the way, I want to make it clear. When Jason says that he implies that the rate of Jim Ursay's house is actually lined with huge sirens so that you could just follow the noise all the way to party town. Yeah. You follow the search lights. The wolf is loose. Doesn't have nightlife.

Come on now. Listen, that was the home... You're just scared. You can't hang with Jim Mersey is the problem. Nobody can hang with Jim Mersey. The now-known as Meta World Peace, Ron Artax, Indiana Pacers, come on. I'm not sure Peter O'Toole could hang with Jim Mersey. Yeah.

You don't think Peyton Manning got down? Yeah, that's right. Peyton Manning. Out until 8 p.m. Careful now. 8.30. Getting loose in Indianapolis. Not, I mean, not in the hips, but...

Yeah, no. He's fair. Oh, I'm a very stiff quarterback. My fluidity is mostly mental and in the shoulder. My fluidity is mostly mental. I'm going to use that. But it was fine. I mean, Indianapolis was fine.

That's what I expect like a town to land at is fine. Yeah, I'd rather have... Entirely acceptable. Yeah, I'd rather have a town that says, we are going to give you B plus, and then they fucking give you B plus to A minus, then a town that says, come on down, we got A plus.

And it's like, this is a C minus at best. I would much rather aim for what you can hit and slightly over-deliver perfection. The shutdown fullcast. The shutdown fullcast. Aim for a D plus. Wait, a C-minus, a C-minus, we will get you that degree. C's get degrees. We are not here to pretend that we can read.

I do also enjoy people who are like, well, you know, it's Indianapolis. Like, man, you know, to hell with Indiana. To be clear, at no point did we say that Indiana was Indianapolis. That would be like saying that Atlanta is Georgia. No, Atlanta is of Georgia and sprouts from its forehead. It is definitely not the same thing. Yeah, we are not defending South Bend. We are not defending South Indiana, which let me tell you is a...

Super Kentucky. South is not a lie. It is so large and it is all Kentucky. Yeah, and there are so many mass billboards. So many. No offense to Kentucky. As a Tennessee native, I am also technically from Kentucky. I will defend Fort Wayne because the city of Fort Wayne popped up in my mentions when I was making jokes about Fort Wayne hating Indianapolis.

And they posted an amusing gif in response. So shouts out to Fort Wayne. Also, the city itself. I don't know if you saw. Yeah, whole city. The Fort Wayne Gazette was seated next to the AJC in the press box. So I'm really hoping that words were exchanged over that. That's right.

Fort Wayne. What was the, what was the, what was the AJC headline that sparked this feud? What was the exact word? Oh, the AJC prior to this was like, dog fans gird themselves for a trip too cold, comma, expensive Indianapolis. It was such a weird-ass headline because like the post was just basic SEO, like SEO bleep blurt weather forecast ticket information put into paragraphs. Like it was nothing. What time does the most boring thing you could possibly read? Fuck Indianapolis.

Exactly. Yeah, that's exactly what it was. and the headline they put on it was like the city's expensive no the ticket is expensive not more than Atlanta the city's cheapest shit yeah I did yeah yeah like maybe they're trying to just a deeply weird headline that everyone as soon as they saw it acted like it was a fucking boss up headline or something you know what's really sad though I feel like this was probably what they were aiming for I don't know I don't give they were aiming at boss up and they AJC claps,

Hoosier cakes They were aiming at Rossup and they hit like to Grassy. Yeah, I don't, I don't give the AJC that kind of credit at all. No, that's fair.

Thank you for the AJC smashes cakes to smithereens. It's the smithereens. It's the smithereens. I also shouts out to shouts out to NIL deals being funnier than ever

thanks to Stetson Bennett on his Instagram page. Holly pimping for one various brand of hard seltzer or another? It was if you follow our buddy Deepalm who is on with Felder sometimes on Hand in the Dirt and other

various shows and popped up in our title game space, he had it on Instagram and it was a side by side comparison of Stetson at like one in the morning going, ah, first of many holding up a hard seltzer and then like three hours later just looking like hammered shit on Good Morning America.

I'm so proud of our Boy. He said many. Up at, up at like 6.30. What's the GMA morning call? Like 4 a.m.? Oh, it's bad. It's real bad.

And he was there at like, he had to be there at at least like what, 6 a.m. Oh, at the latest, I'm sure. At the latest. And they send a car for you, but you still got to get your corks into the car. He's up on GMA.

There was a shot of him on social media, taking a bottle of Pappy straight to the head. Just. Wait, what? Yeah. What do you mean taking a bottle? No, I mean, he was, you said taking a bottle straight to the head. The mouth part.

Yeah. The mouth part. Yeah. He, he, he was fired up. I'm like, this man was on GMA getting in a bar fight. What a fucking legend. Oh, no. We may have to.

We may have to upgrade him. What it got. Yeah, excuse me, Robin Roberts. I got to fight these bikers. It'd be more representative if Jordan Davis and Nekobie Dean came in, beat everyone. else and Stetsa Bennett was like yeah but um he hit four passes baby he hit four big passes nobody all ever take that away from him after the quote fingers in the air fumble

everyone cited that as the moment when his game changed the we need a rule i this is where we need a ruling on place where we just do a do-over because that play was so confusing that i was just like yeah you know just why don't you do that again like i believe a do-over says a part of football that should happened? I mean, that play was confusing to the extent that like, I think if the play had been like 1% less confusing, there would have been fans on the field, right? There would have been refs like fleeing into the tunnels. I think Georgia fans were too confused to riot. So maybe it was a good thing that like there were two simultaneous strange rulings at once. I don't know, man. Yeah. We did get some trash throwing. A little bit, a little bit, a little bit. The, uh, yeah, it was clear

throughout the game that there would be trash more and more on the field and uh honestly it's i i am impressed by georgia fans with how little trash they threw to be quite honest that was perfect then again at the title game that that shit probably costs like 1250 i didn't see that i didn't see the i didn't see the concession prices are you not really not really i think it was a restraint all right in retrospect are you more impressed now by the amount of trash that tennessee fans threw with less on the line with nothing on the line and not just water bottles Tennessee fans threw fucking groceries on the field. Somebody threw their mom's ashes on the field.

I'm convinced. No, that happened at Auburn. Yeah, it happened at Auburn. That was during the pick six. They had to, they had to like specifically tell people you can't. This happened at Auburn and Georgia where so many people have tried to put ashes in, in the bushes that it was actually becoming like a health hazard slash cleaning problem. Yeah. And they had to be like, stop pouring human ashes onto the plants.

Thank you for painting the picture of the next time I see a wide receiver go flying into those hedges. Like, you're in the corpse bush. You're in the corpse bush. No. I think eventually somebody though, the worst thing would not be getting hit with somebody's ashes thrown in an urn from the stance. Because that'd be bad, but it's not the worst. The worst would be if the person looked at you afterwards and they're like, that was my uncle. I don't even like him.

Yeah. You got uncle all over you. You got dip shit powder all over you now. Yeah. He was in debt. You're probably in debt now, too. Legally, that's binding. If I hit you with his ashes, you got to pay his credit card bill.

He left like $5,500 on that thing. You just inhaled my dirt bag uncle. Tennessee football. You just inhaled my dirt bag uncle. Listen. Listen. Y'all would do it, too. Y'all would do it.

I know. I know we would. Yeah, would. Let's stick to the subjunctive there. Wood. It's funnier, though, if it's a Big Ten team. Hey, pal! They wanted to keep him out here where it's cold.

That's my Jerkwad Uncle. Just hit you with them. Yeah, do they cremate in the Big Ten? They just leave them out in the snore. Oh, yeah. Oh, dude, no, they've got a cremate. That's a very Viking thing, right? So I'm just thinking, like, Minnesota.

That's when you float them out on the darn lake, the one day a year when it's not frozen. You set him out there. But, you know, maybe it just goes over to, like, your friend's house. And they're like, oh, geez, you put Carl here. There's Carl's horse. My darn uncle, we put him in the back of the trunk, and we rolled it out on the ice. And when the ice melts, he'll go down into his favorite fishing hole. And that's where he'll be.

And it'll freeze back over by the next morning. That's a great idea. You don't want to catch a Carl, though, you know, that's the problem. Oh, got a Carl. Got to put him down. Oh, geez. to the whole put him back

you know that's how you get ghosts geez I know you miss me Carl but uh

gonna have to put you back down there dude on there pal pal buddy hey toughen up a little bit

huh trying to leave with cold water you only have been down there 20 years you're you're scaring

the bitches Carl hey speaking of waiting for a payoff hmm I said Speaking of waiting for a payoff.

Ah, do you know what would help you? Did I feel an ad transition coming on? No. Speaking of payoffs. Speaking of waiting for those big payoffs. And speaking of matriculating the field down the ball. I did that. I said that.

Oh, God. Just like Stets and Bennett did. Then, okay. Acorns.com. Acorns.com. The tool to help you. Yes, you. The average person.

save money and invest like a big investor Jason help these people how can we get them on it Acorns.com slash fullcast you might wonder dear listener why we reiterate these instructions each and every single week

so meticulously and specifically it's because we get asked where to put the promo code in Acorns.com slash fullcast there ain't no promo code

insert that into your web browser yeah the promo code is part of the URL URLs I have learned is how NFTs work you are not buying actually anything you're buying a thing that a URL points out

how exciting is that a better use of your money in my humble opinion would be going to acorns.com slash fullcast and uploading some of your money into the investment machine that you can actually understand

how about that it's not based it's not pictures of monkeys that anyone can steal from you it's lines that go up and that's so much easier to understand than NFTs uh yeah when you put it like dot com slash full cast where you get a five dollar starter boost to your retirement um another thing that i've always found pretty easy to understand is shirts yeah yeah can you can you elaborate well i'm typically wearing one i would say a good uh at least At least when people are looking at me, a good 99.something percent of the time wearing a shirt. And I would gather that's fairly typical for y'all for most of our listeners. And I would say one place that I would go in the event that any of our listeners are in need of more shirts would be homefield apparel.com where they have, I don't even know how many shirts they have for sale.

It's got to be at least five or six different kinds, maybe way more. Potentially hundreds. We should count. Kinds of shirts. We should count them. Yes. You probably should. With the promo code fullcast.

But we can't because they're adding new clothes all the time. That's true. By the time you hear this little bit. We count it. We count at SEC speeds and thereabout. So no, not going to get it done. With the promo code fullcast, you'll receive 20% off your first order. And once again, yes, folks, we have to say this every week because there are still people

among this listenership who have never placed an order at homefield apparel. believe it or not we forgive you still that's all we do all we want to do is like literally this podcast food clothing shelter we give you clothing right tell you how to get all the clothing you need from home field right who remember yes you can even even get bottoms sometimes what oh okay yes at home field all right bottom pants about okay yes he said indianapolis doesn't have night We're back to Indianapolis again. Who's your buddy now? In addition to that,

shelter that we're going to provide by helping you invest to get the things you need for your home via acorns.com, full service production and food, because we're just dropping nuggets of wisdom. Pick them up. Eat them with some delicious honey mustard sauce. Eat them.

I just realized The listenership, you know, the people who listen to this have never ordered anything from home from home field. You know who this probably are? Probably Ohio State fans. Oh, that makes sense. So whenever you guys actually. Do you really want to be like those people, listener? If you've never purchased anything from home field, people are going to think you're an Ohio State fan.

Oh, so nobody wants that. Nobody, nobody should, nobody should have to go through your life being thought of as an Ohio State fan. What is the thing that you say when you're trying to stop your children from doing something that will ensure they never have friends ever? Stop everything you're doing. Nobody likes that. Nobody likes that. Nobody likes that. Yeah.

No one has ever enjoyed that. Nobody likes that. Nobody likes that. Nobody's ever enjoyed that. Don't be like that. It's bad for you. Yeah. I said, yeah. Ohio State's really good.

Yeah. What's the point? What's the point? That's always the starting point. Yeah, I don't know. They're pretty good. They'll probably win that game. so so it's never been enough for us

go blue yeah that's right it's about because it's about more than the game that's correct it's about more than it's about getting out of post game lockup in time for family court it's about yeah it's about

Western values I said family values I really don't know what to make by the way of the claims that I have seen via Georgia fans that you're all going to have to make new jokes now no we won't no we don't y'all are the same it's exactly the same we lose the rights to

the number one joke that one is now off the table and that's okay because there are so many other ways to make fun of Georgia fans man come well there's a variation too there's a variation of that very thing which is that I'm just happy that I have now been alive for a Georgia Football championship and I'm almost 40. Yeah, I hadn't seen one before. Yeah, yeah. So now the finally Jason and I have caught up to Spencer who is the only one of us who was alive the last time this happened that's true. I'm trying to run back through titles. Let's see. Uh, so now let's go shit. I think pit is next on the list of well Florida's up there. It's time that it's time. It's time. Tennessee's up there. No, we're not. Yeah. You got to you know we're not. It's

time it's time to run it back no i'm just saying that implies that tennessee could win a title again in the future and i would like to exclude us from that joke holy crap the um so let's see here i mean pit pit no title since 976 but that's not that funny um b yu pen state none since 86 but the notre dame it's notadame now none since 88 there you go it's noterdame because we All things come back and make fun of Notre Dame. We need a bulwark against Notre Dame being kind of likable now because of their new coach, and this will provide just the backstop. That's pretty good.

We made it one game into the be nice to Notre Dame there before Georgia ruined it. We have turned back on Notre Dame again, and it's Georgia's fault. I accept. But we still got like, I'm sorry, the pantry. Like, I know that the supply chain's fucked up, but the pantry of Georgia jokes amply full. Oh, yeah. This is, okay. We'll get some new ones.

I said this on Twitter the other day, and I would like to unpack this. So the, I framed this before in terms of the Tennessee-Georgia rivalry being very boring and not having a name or not having a traveling trophy. It ought to be played by water rights, as we all know, but it's not. And I don't think this is Tennessee's fault because we have an end. excess of personality at Tennessee. None of it's good. And Georgia

Georgia's just so, they're just so, they're just pleat fronted cackies and that same fucking haircut. There's nothing to pick out about them. They are Panera bread, the football team. And I'm

really interested on a clinical level to see what happens now on almost an academic level because what kinds of derangement might spring forth from now having a title to boast about like are you guys are they immediately going to ratchet up expectations to an unmanageable fervor are they just going to i mean do you guys remember after clemson made their first run and we were all kind of joking like ha ha can you imagine a future where we can't stand clemson fans because they're too good we said that and they got there

in land speed record time to being an absolutely unbearable group of people. And, but will Georgia go that way? Will they, or will they, you know, will they recognize that they don't want to become completely the Alabama simulacrum that they've been trying to build? And will they, will they have the sense to rest on their laurels, you know, will, again, will the masters coming up kind of, kind of sate them, kind of, kind of state their urge for supremacy for a minute or they could grow in

they could grow in so many different directions and I'm excited for whichever one of those directions happen because no matter what happens our wish came true we got something different out of the title game and anything that happens to this fan base now will make

them more interesting than they are at the moment because we are starting at zero at the moment nobody cares about your Kia dealership we are starting at zero I mean just again I'm just happy to see a bunch of liberals get to enjoy a college football championship. Also, you prodded a new joke in there, didn't think

about this, but really, I'm very happy for Georgia. I'm glad to see them finally do this. I'm now looking forward to see if they can get on Clemson's level. Oh, you noticed that, did you? Yeah, yeah, that's good to see if we can Yeah, I was just kind of floating that out there. You can get up to Clemson's level. See if it sinks

or see if it's a witch. Yeah, that's good. My new one that I wrote tested this on the live full cast. Don't forget. Don't forget Georgia fans. You did ask for this. You said you guys have to get new Georgia jokes. And look at that. I mixed y'all up again. Little old Clemson. You said you guys have to get new Clemson jokes and we are acquiescing to your will. We'll keep road testing this one but I want to say congratulations to Georgia for completing one

reconstruction. One. That's good. See if we can see if we could do another. Keep this thing going. so that that's good we'll work on others we got we got all the old ones and we got the new ones right we can always put your ass as drunk at a top golf because that's just documentary work that's just tuesday y'all also we're just jealous because we love being drunk at top golf of Tuesday it is great it's wonderful they have Wi-Fi did you know yeah you don't even have to do the golf part you can just be drunk at a top golf it's like being outside but lazier I'm listening. I'm listening.

Georgia's weird for the outdoors because the top 20% of the state are the hardest outdoor people you will ever see. People who win survival competitions and survival shows, a good number of them come from like North Georgia or the tag area, right? The Tennessee, Alabama, Georgia area that triangle because it's harsh country. Everybody's outside all the time. And if you're outside all the time there, you're either hunting. constantly climbing hills, maybe running from the police, maybe you're just high on something and running around. That's all possible, right?

They're tough-ass people, and they're actually what you would qualify as like outdoorsmen with the capital O. Everyone else is basically in that Alabama outdoorsman, right? Tag area and northern Alabama accepted. Your idea of being outdoors is in a chair outdoors. Or the cracker barrel porch. You don't go to REI for anything that helps you move. right not like i'm going to go get some boots or a kayak or a bike they're like i need another chair

i need i need a nicer camp chair or something to help me make food so that i stand up cook then i sit back down that's the other 80% of the state when it comes to being outdoors which that's fine respect if that's your thing um hey do you want to talk about something else that's outdoors that looks like it kind of doesn't want to be there i think i know where you're going yes um to the to the pack 12 let's let's talk about the pack 12 uh because we uh haven't been there in a minute uh also joe montana and giants outfielder hunter pence uh both figure into this story so that's kind of like sports oh yes um i i subscribe to uh an extremely frivolous magazine called Architectural Digest, which is not actually about

architecture. It's like, look at the couch that Kirsten Dunst has now. Here's her dog. I wish it was more about architecture. But every once in a while, it will actually talk about architecture being digested as an eaten up by the earth. And I live for that shit. I'm going to read you all a headline. This is from January 10th, 2022. San Francisco's luxurious new skyscraper is tilting 26 inches. Here is the subhead. The 640, this is a weird way to measure a building, the 645 foot tall Millennium Tower will continue tilting at a rate of three inches per year and has already sunk between 17 and 18 inches into the ground. I'm now going to go through the article and you guys stop me when you get to something weird. San Francisco's Millennium Tower, one of the glitziest

residential buildings in the city, is now tilting more. more than two feet north and west and continues to tilt at a rate of three inches a year because it's sinking into the ground. Okay. If the problem isn't fixed, the building could eventually tilt 40 inches, the maximum it needs to function and most probably for the elevators and plumbing to work. Most probably. I don't know which part of this sentence I like best. The idea that it would get to 40 inches of tilt and stop or the probably attached to. the four elevators and plumbing to work.

This is the tallest residential building in San Francisco. Joe Montana and a Giants player lived there. Here we go. And listening to them try and frame this without cussing is amazing. In a contradiction that defies improbability, data shows that around 10 inches of the overall 26 inch tilt happened last year following work to stop the sinking. Should it left it alone.

Just let the bill and tilt. Let the building tilt. Let the building tilt. Let it lean. This next part required an investigative report, which I think that maybe I don't, look, I don't want to, I don't want to throw, I don't want to throw mud at our investigative journalism, brothers and sisters. But I question whether it took a report to determine this. In an investigative report, NBC Bay Area revealed that drilling logs show a gap of one to four days between drilling, drilling and grout installation.

So they drilled it and just left it. And then they didn't caulk it up for one to four days. Here comes the best part. All right. You guys ready? Yeah. The fix engineer, first of all, that's a job title. Ron Hamburger has admitted that his team didn't guide the contractor they hired

Schimmick construction on how to stop the tower from sinking and tilting as they drilled and dug into the ground. He told city supervisors, the procedures for installing piles were basically the contractor's prerogative. We did not tell them how to install piles. Spencer, you're from Florida. Are piles important? They're really important, Ollie. What are piles in an architectural sense? Yeah, the piles themselves are going to be the things that help stay.

stabilize the building in the ground itself, particularly important in a place like Florida or anybody with a high water table, because you need to find ways to make that building more stable or as stable than the ground itself. Hey, speaking of ground that's stable or unstable, what's not mentioned in this article? Earthquakes. Huh. Yeah. Why would they be mentioned in a story about California? They're not. There's no mention of earthquake in this story. That's a great question.

in California? Yeah. Oh, sorry, I have to read the last part of Ron Hamburger's public statement. Although the building remains safe, we believe the project needs to resume construction and complete this construction quickly, says the guy who had a four-day gap. Anyway, there's absolutely nothing about this that's connected to football apart from Joe Montana once living here. I just wanted to say that full cast

readers are everywhere and sometimes they have real jobs. And I'm pretty sure Ron Hamburger was a commenter. Can I read from the Wall Street Journal? I know I do this from time to time. As an investor. This article's from September 19th, 2001. Ronald Hamburger turned on his television

on the day of the attack just in time to watch the collapse of the Second World Trade Center Tower. Mr. Hamburger is one of four top pharynge engineers commissioned to perform a post-mortem on the World Trade Center's collapse. One in the same, Ron Hamburger was one of the people who was tasked with explaining why the World Trade Center towers fell. I, uh, on a... Ron Hamburgerer undid 9-11. Hey, you're, you have the right mindset because on a conspiracy Wikipedia, entitled Wikispooks.com, Ronald Hamburger has a, page.

Whoa. It reads, Ronald Hamburger was a principal author of FEMA's initial report on the collapse of the Twin Dowers. Later, a key participant in the NIST report on why the WTC buildings collapsed. I just tried to make that sound as sinister

as possible. It says, on this conspiracy website, it says Ronald Hamburger and his tags are engineer and deep state functionary with a question. Where was Ronald Hamburger on 9-11?

By the way, Ronald Hamburger, that's a 9-to-5 man. He ain't worrying about shit once he clocks out. Not a damn thing. Was it a weekend? Is that what did it? I said that's what did it. Was it a full-in-day-up? The shit was Doug Friday at like 1.30 p.m.

And he's like, all right, y'all be good. I'll check on Mr. Herb Hamburger out. I'm checking on this one Monday morning. I didn't know emergency contractors did summer Fridays, but I love it. We're going to leave. I mean, kudos to you for separating work in your personal life, Mr. Hanberger. Yeah, we drilled these huge, we drilled these huge fucking holes next to the leaning building that might fall over.

And he's like, kachink. I'm sorry you send an email in 501. Later. Whoops, he do. Phone off. I'm out. So then Monday morning around like, Monday morning around 10. 10.45 a.m. Deep state functionary Mr. Hamburger shows up. What the fuck? No one put rocks in the holes we dug Friday at noon.

This actually could be a Yellowstone plot line because at one point Kevin Costner and his grandson are camping out in the field and people keep calling him. So he makes the ranch hands like undo all of their camp and set the tents and everything again, set them all up again like 20 yards up the hill. And he gets up the hill and he looks at his phone. He's like, no signal. And his grandson asks, is this a better camp grandpa? And he looks at his phone and it's like, service not available. And he said, yes, it is. That's, man, listen, Ron Hamburger.

Ron Hamburger, you need to lay off the Yellowstone, man. Ron Hamburger, OBG-O-I-N, the kids halfway out. And he's like, yo, bye. Bye. Bye. It's time for after-work, Ron. After work, Ron's here. I'm Ron Hamburger and I don't have time for your pastrami.

My God, that's beautiful. Have they tried to, have they tried asking the building to sit up straight? What the building wants. Yeah. Why don't you sit up straight, building? Oh, slouch. Stop slouch. I'm going to think you are somewhere.

Millennial ass building with your flat bill cap. I just butchered a line I was trying to pull from my grandmother, which is, how are you going to act when you get somewhere? So the, um, the Ron Hamburger origin story, according to, uh, yes, yes, E-N-R.com. 30 years ago in Seattle at the end of a talk to fellow structural engineers about lessons learned from recent earthquakes, Ronald O. Hamburger showed a fair photograph of a largely intact San Francisco after 1989's magnitude, 6.9 quake. He followed with a photo of the other, utter devastation caused by 1988's magnitude quake in Armenia. blah, blah, blah, there were collapses, and the effects of modern construction and codes is evident from comparison of these two events. Hambur recalls telling the audience in 1990, then came the hamburger bombshell. Guess what it says? My belief is that Seattle.

So basically, he was basically telling Seattle they weren't ready, but it's described here as the hamburger bombshell. And then he figured out 9-11, and now he is, man, this is a long life. A long life of fixing Seattle and solving 9-11 and shit. Let the man take a weekend, I think. It's been 30-something years since the hamburger bombshell. Let the man rest. Evidently, he's going to take him. Ronnie out.

You know what? There's Ron Hamburger, the serious building man. And then I want you to meet somebody new. That's Week Weekend Ron. Meet Weekend Ron. It's like Florida Stanley. Weekend Ron. We're going to meet Weekend Ron. Everybody's going to be real happy. And then on Monday at 9, clocked back the fuck in to go look at these giant holes that they didn't fill next to this building that won't sit up straight. There was another thing that Holly wanted to discuss that I think is important for our listenership. And that is, I think, somewhat related to Acorns.com. Mind you, I don't think you'd have to worry about this option.

If you were using acorns, your money'd be right. You'd be set. You'd be ready for investments, important investments like ham. Ham is an important investment. You're familiar on this program with our concept of night ham. It's core to our values and everything that we believe in. That is ham that should be eaten at night as a booster rocket to the orbital monster of your day. From Bill Oakley on Twitter.

A shared screenshot. why eat everyday supermarket food when you can finance a ham from Montgomery Ward? Thank you to the number of people who tagged us in this tweet. We had not intended to bring this up on the show, but when we get

double-digit notifications involving layaway ham, we spring into action. You can finance a ham. Either a spiral sliced ham with the fired-in sugar glaze or the masterpiece baked ham, all right, available for anywhere from $65 to, you know, $110 depending on the weight of the ham.

But at only $20 a month, you two could finance a ham. It's probably actually a really bad sign for our society. Oh, wow, I tweeted this right before we started recording. People are really mad at me that I said you can only get unblocked by a $500 charitable donation. Except for that one guy is $1,000. I told the guy who complained about it, that would be $1,000. That's cool. Yeah.

Somebody, by the way, has already contributed $500 to do this. I can name at least two people off the top of my head. I will not shout them out here because I don't want you in their mentions because I'm kind. But two or three people went for this during the Charity Bowl last year, and they can verify that this is a real thing that I will do. One other thought on the ham, by the way. This is just basic-ass ham. It's not like hamoan. it's not like prosciutto

it's not like some sort of artisanal ham that was cured on the thighs of angels somewhere high in the Pyrenees Mountains no this is just ham it's like pretty standard American ass ham that you could finance for $10 to $20 a month

depending on your finances Can I take us back briefly from hamburger because um do we have more on hamburger facts we have more hamburger lore

um quote again from the end of somehow in addition to all his professional duties and committee work

hamburger finds time to be a pilot a hunter a fisherman an equestrian a pianist and a karate

enthusiast so those weekends are being put to good work folks Ron is out here being Ron is out here jumping out of planes to do

karate against villains who are harming the wildlife hunting grounds and so forth. This man is not just digging holes and waiting for somebody to fill him. No. He's got other adventures to tackle in addition to being a

deep state functionary. So I'm sitting here curiously. So I'm sitting here talking about talking shit about Ron Hamburger and there's a less than zero percent chance and probably ability of him skydiving into the window behind me and karate chopping me in the throat for talking about him yeah so that would be the worst if you had to tell somebody you're like man why can't you talk you just sitting there texting them or you know we're talking through your voice

box like rod hamburger chop me in the throat 9-11 built now karate chom me from sky the man behind the seattle warning not that kind of 9-11 building guy the good kind of 9-11 building guy the good kind of 9-11 building guy yeah that dude he he totally wrote a horse over me I was just sitting in the street and I heard somebody go hamburger out he ran my ass over hamburgers off the clock pow I got a clock in and learn ancient Chinese calligraphy just because I'm off the clock doesn't mean I won't clock you kapow maybe while you're up there, Ron, skydiving. You can look down and see those big ass holes nobody filled

next to the building that's leaning. Drop a damn horse while you're up there, buddy. Hey, is there supposed to be something in here? Now that's lunch. No, that's like, yeah. Hey. I wonder if the plan is eventually to use the sum of his training

and to like use a plane to sort of nudge the building back into place, you know? He's going to karate chop it back into place. Yeah, fly past and pow. Real good and just sort of, and that'll just creak it back into place a little bit. That building sass me, so I gave it the, hey, yeah.

Knocked it back into place. He gave it the old hamburger treatment. That's the last time he'll joke about Ron Hamburger. Now I kind of want my ass to get kicked by this dude. It'd be a polished, thorough ass kicking. And if it happened, and if it happened at 5 o'clock, he'd clock right out. He'd be like, well, I was going to kill you. But I got to get to swim class.

Stay put. I'll be back Monday morning. Got to learn how to knit. Something I thought I would never say on the full cast, but now I'm pleased to do. Shouts out to Ron Hamburger. Shout out Ron Hamburger. Ron Hamburger has entered the lexicon. What a treat.

What a treat for us all. Went from Hamburger to layaway ham. To layaway ham to not talking about Georgia winning a national title. Did Georgia win a national title? To Airborne Sensei, Ron Hamburger. Ron Hamburger is waiting outside Ready to kick your ass Waiting outside up there somewhere

Outside he's loose Ron Hamburger will assess your foundation The old fashion way Loose hamburger I just You have the movie where Ron Hamburger pops up Like a scene in Yellowstone beats your ass It goes

I found your foundation's unsound Walks off Yeah there's a pow right in the jaw And then, now you're the one who's leaning.