Shutdown Fullcast - Greco-Roman Gods of the Georgia Piedmont

Episode Date: October 13, 2020

--This week, Georgia is the pontoon boat with attached putting green of everyone's dreams --A thorough dissection of the AP poll for the first time in the show's history --Lane Kiffin had a panty on his head during the Alabama game --A review of Greco-Roman gods of the Georgia Piedmont --Note: This was recorded before Vandy/Mizzou got canceled! --Note: We talk about COVID and the season! In an accidentally prescient fashion! --Final note: Second show drops on Wednesday! Listen! Subscribe! OBEY.  Learn more about your ad choices. Visit podcastchoices.com/adchoices

Welcome to the shutdowns to the shutdown fullcast. Ah, you are now listening to the shutdown fullcast. Oh, you are now listening to, the internet's only college football podcast except for split zone duo that's my new way of not shutting them out it's my new way of working them in what do you what do you all think was that slick i think we should probably let people get more than 10 seconds into the podcast before we throw an ad at them i just did no we're just this is new all right all right you know never mind i'm sorry i question your judgment as usual i'm not establishing the run i'm going straight to play action.

Holly, what if this is more of like a, Mario, thank you for finding me, but your college football podcast is in another castle thing. Oh, yeah, they won't find any college football here. Right. So maybe it's a mitzvah of sorts where it's like, oh, I'm sorry, were you looking for, he's, Spencer's sort of being a clipy of sorts? We're just going to throw a 404 redirect on the front of this podcast.

If you clicked here in hopes of seeking college football, then bloop, here's your error message. I'm sorry, did you mean split? It's on duo. I am Spencer Hall, and I am the host of this here show. My co-host, joining me as always, is Jason Kirk coming to us. I assume from beautiful Kennesaw, unless you had to relocate your game this week. I can't reveal my location, so.

That's very, so you're in Kennesaw. Okay, got it. It's very Dale Gribble of you. We can say that. I can't tell you where I am. That's how the government finds you. Our special guests this week, as they are, most weeks, most weeks. No, no, some weeks.

Some weeks. That would be Holly Anderson. Hello? She's just nodding. That's the best part. And Ryan Nanny. Hi, Ryan. That's because you got cocky.

You were like, oh, they'll be here most. Maybe we won't. maybe i don't know you wrote i'll be here just like marriage every day is a decision to continue the shutdown forecast okay when you put it like that i want to walk into this i'm a wild flower you don't know where the wind's going to take me um i have an unfortunate i'd like to report an unfortunate omen that this may be the year of the georgia bulldog it's not even in the show notes We weren't going to do this. Arp, ARP, ARP.

It is in the show notes. It is. It's right there up top. It's going to click the link. Yeah, yeah. Yeah. Hang on. Hang on.

Okay, I have to agree with this. Yeah, no, no, this is good. My complaint is withdrawn, and I agree. This omen. Okay, I know. They're pretty impressive this weekend. They've been good all season, and they are the only team in college football that I know of

that can actually make tackles consistent. clemson's right there in other words uh but but really like since clemson's like basically georgia but with a lake this is b yu erasure but whatever sure okay b yu okay maybe b yu i'll grant them but georgia being the most consistent in terms of actually having a defense uh that is a good omen it's not as good an omen as this this comes to us from twitter user w mac underscore dody We'll just call Mac. When you spend quarantine building a fishing boat and your brother says, putting a putting a putting a putting a putting a putting in green on a pontoon boat

is the most Georgia shit I have ever seen. Readers, he has sent us a photograph. We can confirm the level of Georgia shit on display in this photo. Mm-hmm. Because what you'll see is parked on a street, a pontoon boat with what appears to be a putting green. An actual verdant putting green

on a pontoon boat. Yeah, I haven't seen anything. Just like sawgrass, baby. That's right. I got my own TPC. How baller it would it be, by the way, if you saw this just parked in the street, you know, just pull out the clubs,

get some balls, start chipping onto it. That's right. I can get mad. I think the owner would appreciate it if you left a tip. But it was like $5 green's fee. Yeah. Hey, rake the sand, asshole.

Busting out the windows on the truck. That's fine. Another $5. Is this thing hitched to like a 30-year-old Bronco? What is that car? That is... PC stands for truck-based putton course. Dude, I think that's an original suburban.

Okay. Look at it. Is that what that is? Oh, it's got the station wagon door on the back, too. Look at that. Oh, yeah, it's got the full... so that if you open the door it would damage the boat yes this is peak georgia this that's not a metaphor and i wish we could just move on yes i think we've got definitely not a

metaphor i think we resent you asking i think we've established that this omen is probably as good an indication as anything that happens on the field that this this may indeed be the year of the bulldog oh god Amanda mall's going to be so mad because she was she was on twitter a former former full cast guest maybe future guest who's to say saying you know when is the full cast ever going to remark on how good Georgia is we probably have to beat somebody else

probably have to beat Bama right here it is Amanda here it is piping hot dog talk nothing but golf golf boat base dog talk dot dog talk dot com

no I got nothing yeah this is the Georgia podcast now we're going to talk about why the FDA eliminating my favorite pesticide over 40 years ago is the reason I support the overthrow of the government peacefully.

That's why you buy in bulk. That's right. And keep a shed. They got rid of seven dusted. That's why I only vote for fascists. There's a logic here. I promise. Stetson Bennett, the third, wouldn't have gotten it done, but Stetson Bennett the fourth. He's a man for this

program. Do you think that's like Iron Man suits? Like maybe he's not a human? It's like that's Mark 4 of Stetson Bennett. the thing on top of the car you mean so what is this one designed to defeat definitely defeated tennessee definitely did that and it definitely will defeat florida just going to get that out of the way now are we referring to stetson bennett or the

golf boat yes or are they one in the same yes okay good if you put stetson bennett on the golf boat oh this one is definitely designed to counter i feel like this boat is definitely designed to sail into Jacksonville. This is definitely your Florida. Oh, man, you're right. Yeah. Yeah, it's also very Georgia in that I'm certain this isn't seaworthy.

You're not making it more than 40 yards offshore. Well, that's what the canoe on the top of the car is for. Listen, you can't become St. Simon until you die. Wow. Who are you to say it's seaworthy? That's a judgment call, ain't it? Jesus walked on water, but I'm

bringing my pole cart. That's a matter of personal accountability, isn't it? Which I also don't have. Tell you what, if it ends up at the bottom of the sea, then that means the sea wanted to hang on to it. I guess it was sea worthy then. I'm ready to do this. Sorry, it's too precious to Poseidon.

I was born for the ocean. That's why I wear boat shoes all the time. You would think that Poseidon would be the most satisfying name to say of a Greek or Roman god in a Georgia accent, but you'd be wrong. Hephaestus. Aries. It's aries. Oh, damn it.

Aphrodite. That's pretty good. You know what the most joy? My face just, oh, I don't know. You come really strong down on that second one. Odysseus. Dionysus. Dionysus Johnson.

He's out of Lowndes County. Deonesis, Johnson, get your ass off that swing set. Oh, I like this. That's a baby name. Oh, Deonesis. He's passed out in the sandbox again. Too much Zaxby's

Carybdis Carybdis get down here Uh Actually in most Georgia one is Cerberus Because then you can You just call one dog And you're calling all the dogs

Oh Wow And you live in hell I feel like we should have Some kind of gonged I can't imagine a gassier dog Than a bulldog Serbrus

Oh no What happens when two of the heads Dying The Thirtluss is dragging them along That's why they put three on it. We put it on, actually, we put it on a mountain. That's what we do here. We carve it into a mountain.

This entire job is making sure you can't leave. Yeah. By the way, another Georgia thing, by the here, another Georgia total. It's how you know it might be the year of the Bulldog. If you didn't watch the 44-21 trouncing of the Tennessee volunteers who, yeah, they were pretty game for a minute. Then Georgia happened. That team that can tackle.

The team that does not make mistakes. The team that can run the ball with, five running backs to all are all. awesome and look the same. Why are we still talking about this game and not what happened to you? Because of the total of, oh, we're going to talk about that. And of George's many running backs, the one who scored a touchdown in this game, his nickname is, Zeus, that's right.

Zeus. Hey, Zeus. That one doesn't really hit. It doesn't have enough syllables. I became aware of this when I clicked over to Twitter and saw Zeus trending in the United States and I thought, well, that can't be good. Does Saturn work better? Saturn.

Saturnalia? Yeah, you know who... For a daughter. The meanest man on your team is the offensive lineman named Uranus Johnson. Wow. That's because you know what? He's like, you're just my name.

Say it again. So if we're switching from Greek to Roman, then I think Zeus's name upgrades in George Assity. Jupiter. Yeah. Oh, Jupiter White. But these all sound like Boise State, like Boise State receivers. Jupiter White sounds like a, sounds like a NASCAR driver who, like, died when a wrench flew through his head.

These are also like Elliot Gould rolls from like the early 70s. Oh, sexy Elliot Gould is Jupiter White. Athena. That's how you know the movie industry was only like 80 people because they're like, Elliot Gould, now that's sex. That's fuckability. I beg your fucking pardon. Have you seen Elliot Gould in the 70s?

Yeah. You shut your fucking mouth. Yeah, no, we've upgraded. We do way better than Elliot Gould now. What the fuck is wrong with you? Some guy who'd be like a middle school principal is like the heart throb of the 70s. That's how you know drugs are real and bad for you. I was just going to say the other Georgia thing about this game is what was Tennessee's rushing totals on the day?

One under. they were one under played 18 and they went one under uh oh breaking AP top 25 news oh goodness we just got it in that happened hours ago

um who Spencer the people want to know where did Michigan land after this chaotic weekend of college football? Okay this week this is very funny this is so good because this week this week the AP top 25

without the Big 10 or the Pac 12 playing a single game managed to manifest severe Big Ten bias. It happened. How? I have no idea because we have no evidence but for no reason whatsoever. Michigan, holding steady

at 20, moved up a spot to 19. Who's 18? That's a really good question. I'm really asking who's 18. A fellow 90s power. Interesting. It would be the Tennessee vault.

Also, USC has entered the polls. I think that's even more exciting. Nature is healing itself. Are we just preloading the natural buoyancy of USC has got them up in the polls? 25, sure. I like that we're treating the AP poll like a Windows game from 1993.

Please insert six of nine. We will upload USC now. My favorite AP fact of the year so far is that when the Big Ten teams rejoined the polls, Indiana did not have any votes. Now, Indiana has one vote. It has been a strong October for our Hoosier Boys. At this rate, they will have like seven votes soon. Missouri, who just beat LSU, two votes. That's beautiful.

I'm going to transition off that. LSU or Coastal Carolina. Who got more votes this week? I'm looking at it, so I know, but I won't. Yeah, you know. It better have been Coastal Carolina. Coastal Carolina got 37 votes and LSU got five. Outstanding.

That is correct. So to Texas. Losing to Missouri will put you behind the following teams. Arizona State with six. Yeah, yeah. Has not played a game. Ole Miss with six just gave up the earth to Alabama. Air Force 11, who I believe Air Force has played, I think they have played three games.

They've played at least. They've played at least two games. Some of those were games. Yeah. I know they beat Navy. It'll put you behind UAB with 29. And it'll put you behind Iowa, another team who. Oh, that's a team that's definitely going to pad Ference's bio next year.

Yeah, that's it. I'm going to say this. Iowa, clean sheet, completely undefeated. Another team that this week prospered despite doing nothing. I know other people had good weeks. but who's had a better week than Oregon who despite not playing a game managed to stay at 12 hold down that 12 ranking right there so Michigan moved up a spot also were their jug rivals Minnesota moved up from 25 to 24 to make room for USC to make room for USC so now also by the way two the two two biggest powers of the playoff era this is this is so good by the way because A&M A&M beat Florida had the biggest win Jimba Fisher's tenure. Yes, a 41 to 38 to feet,

which we will discuss in great excruciating detail shortly. Interesting. They've done all this. And A&M still behind Florida. They're at 11. Florida's at 10. And they're both just one and two spots, respectively, above Oregon,

who hasn't played a game. And behind Penn State, who also, like, I'm not kidding. At first, I hated this. Now this is the only way I want to do the top 25. Like, I want every year, we just, like, you can randomize you and say, okay, this year the Big Ten, you're playing first, and the SEC's got, whatever. But I only want this stupid game of like, well, I'm pretty sure if they were here,

Penn State would deserve to be ninth. I feel like we should save a seat for them. That's fair. My favorite thing about the current AP Top 25, and apologize if I've previously described, anything else with that uh i'll i'll update it to this cincinnati's number eight which that's the kind of thing a non-power you're usually going to need to hit like eight and oh nine and oh to be up here eight nope they're up here ahead of pen state florida a and m oregon miami alburn wisconsin like uh theoretically they're within range of the playoff i imagine the playoff committee convened right now

they'd say whoa whoa whoa let's bump them down by about 10 spots but like Cincinnati based on the computers more like a 1415 type team so yeah i am happy that cincinnati is overrated that's 2018 UCF the the team that was coming off the undefeated season and beat auburn in the bowl game and was undefeated up till a bowl game in 2018 topped out at seven in the eight people and and cincinnati's like well that wasn't so hard all we had to do i don't see what all that fuss was about maybe you should have just gone three and o like we did all we had to do was play in the middle of a pandemic done all we had to do is uh beat uh usf we beat usf pretty badly that was really hard oh my my last ap top 25 note ohio state given the undertaker here basically sitting

at six even though hasn't even entered the ring yet all just waiting on the dead man to walk in what what i don't understand is this they've said okay ohio state you get the sixth spot and but like I don't understand the differentiation between, like, Oklahoma State is behind Ohio State. North Carolina is ahead of them. Based on, like, North Carolina's looked good this year, but how do you parse this? Oklahoma State almost lost to Tulsa, so Ohio State, did Ohio State almost lose to Tulsa? No, that's true. Not yet.

Yeah, but Ohio State hasn't even done that. This week, well, yeah, they haven't almost lost to Tulsa. I mean, UNC almost lost at Boston College. Yeah, that's not Tulsa. Okay. It's pretty Tulsa. So, you know when you're making a list of things to do? Sure.

And you have the one thing. Ryan, you're right. Tulsa has more AP votes than Boston College. Wow. Sorry, Spencer, go ahead. Making a list of things to do. When you make a list of things to do and you're carrying them over from the day before and you go, oh, I didn't do laundry. I'm going to put laundry sixth, right?

We're going to do laundry. So I like that even in your universe, you're like, you know how you make a list and then you don't do it that day? Yeah, you know how lists are fake? So I'm getting to the point of lists being fake. I feel like this is Spencer trying very hard to relate to people who make lists. Are you telling me you, no, I'm telling you every AP top 25 voter is just like me because they have a note that says, oh, I think Ohio State's like six. I should put them around there. But instead of putting that off to the side is a thing to do once Ohio State starts playing games, they just put it.

in the actual poll like yeah no just leave them in there i could put an actual team there but i wouldn't remember it i'm just going to let them hang there this is all this is this is a bunch of people like over a hundred people just going yeah all right just remember to put ohio state there because you'll forget that ohio state exists if you don't do that that's what that is and then they'll disappear we've just locked these teams into certain spots yeah it's well i mean I I it's it's kind of cool it's like they're uh you know they're like like mystical gatekeepers you guys surpass you know like unc has passed the ohio state threshold whereas oklahoma state has yet you know and like i like to think of them as like video game levels like oh you haven't

gotten that key yet you can't go there well i was thinking of it like a turn based a turn based game where it's like this opponent is coming up next it's ohio state uh oh you've successfully slowed them down now they're still there you know it's not their turn right and like oh it's unc's turn now like you have that column off on the side i see it's never ohio state's turn right you turn them into muteu that's what you just gave them like the magical enchanted pokewarm spot of six so or maybe it's like we could go face the ohio state boss right now but no we're gonna we're gonna we're gonna you cast sleep on big 10 yeah yeah it's a surprisingly effective, especially for Illinois.

Clemson's just racking up XP-facing ACC teams, as is Notre Dame and as is UNC. What's happening here? This is me playing Breath of the Wild for like an hour and then coming upon a goblin and turning tail around and running, because I just want to forage for mushrooms, man. Yeah. Don't we all? This poll's awesome. Let's never do this any other way again.

Shouts out to every voter who's just riding Ohio State in so they won't forget that the program exists. I also like that this show the shutdown forecast. I don't know if we've ever looked at the AP poll before. Like this is a college football program that covers college football scrupulously and the like single most defining thing about, you know, the race of each season and the history of each season is the little numbers by the names and we've completely ignored it until it went wrong. And now I can't wait for to come out each week. Now it's you are like us. You're making things up now well it's like it's like asking c3 p.o to rank college football team it's like no he went out northwestern way higher i am a middle grad that man's brain would explode

yeah yeah just oh boy the uh people so the the first thing i wanted to talk about this week was um as in as in the third did the show just start the yeah thing welcome The first actual game I wanted to talk about this week. We already talked about one of those, too. No, no, in depth, in depth. It's been 26 minutes. It's a very important note. We're very serious.

I don't know where we end up in the final recording the show, but we've been recording for 26 minutes. Lane Kiffin had a panty on his head. This is the game you wanted to discuss. Yes, that is the game is. The game of wearing underwear on your head. The game that led to the underwear arriving on his face. Remember when Joe Tess was just the guy who rifles through your unmuneration?

on television. Yeah, because he did that. Was that at Fresno State? I forget. It was several times. It was Fresno State. Yeah, they would just go check what was in somebody's dorm,

which I thought was a real bold move at Fresno State. Yeah, that could have gone several directions. Let's check your dorm. You got a warrant. Wow, you have a dead ET. Yeah. And it was a drug overdose.

Oh, this is disturbing. uh yeah lane kiffin uh can't really wear a mask it's the one thing i wanted to of this the only thing i wanted to point out from an otherwise completely normal alabama old miss game because what i expect when i get alabama old miss is 63 48 with 1300 offensive yards they have that right close to the longest game that was played yesterday uh yeah in case you want to know Mac Jones, this is, by the way, not good for Tua. Not good for any Miami Dolphins fan who says, yeah, we drafted a really unique talent. I don't know how unique throwing for 400 at Alabama is anymore.

Wow. Because Mac Jones was 28 for 32 for 417, had a pair of scores. Guess who had all the other touchdowns? That's Najay Harris. Najee Harris had five TDs. Can I complain about the broadcasting of this game for one second? Sure. Because it's specific to Najee Harris.

Yeah. In the final minutes of this, did you? did y'all find that Steve Sarkesian was a bit overpraised by the broadcast team? He kept saying, like, oh, this was a play collars duel. I'm like, what kind of trenchant analysis led you to stare up and down the sideline and go, hey, I think we should give the ball to that guy? Throw it to the good, throw it to one of the two first round receivers. Like, oh, the first time he said it was after Jalen Waddle had this huge catch.

And I'm like, oh, really? You figured out that you should give the ball to Jalen Waddle? what tipped you? Wow, you gave up the ball the nausea Harris. He was running for he averaged nine yards of carry.

That's not like, okay, I mean, I don't dislike Todd Blackledge generally. I don't either, but he kept doing this over and over again

and I'm like, it's okay to praise the dudes who are actually doing it. No. I'm pretty sure that Sark could and has picked plays by throwing darts

blindfolded. It's Bama. Like there's some Amazon employee who's running five marathons a day to get me my light bulbs in exactly 24 hours after I ordered them and Todd Blackledge is looking at them going

man this management Jeff Bezos what a machine what a genius look at what he's built no is that guy very odd just because it kept coming up yeah kept coming up for Bama's strongest players who a pigeon could have pointed at that guy and said throw it to him or to take it a step further we don't get any O line love Najee Harris is like at toward the end end of the game is running through holes that are five yards wide he's running through boulevards you could have planted trees in the median yeah like i i mean this i mean this real nicely i could have gained five yards to carry i think okay three a minute but yeah yeah i could have gotten three yards to carry i think it was bama's either next to last or the one before touchdown there are so many

it's hard to really classify there's also just like a beautiful it's the one where they like got down the goal line had penalties moving back and then on third and goal from like the 15 they run a play that gets in there's like a beautiful block on the edge from either a wide receiver or a tight end or something but by the way rand just interrupt the tight ends were dominating yeah i didn't did crazy blocking all night this game was awesome it was exactly what we want out of uh sabin versus kiffin kiffin did all the bullshit in the world sabin hated all of it and sabin had to as always reduce himself to acting like his opponent in order to put away a pesky opponent.

And he has to do this every year and you could see him realizing that. He has to do this every year. Kiffin doing the, what was it, four or five fourth down calls with like zero hesitation each time. Let's call a fucking timeout and let's consult the fucking Oracle.

It was, no, it's the next play. Keep going. And it worked every goddamn time. And you could see Sabin through his, he was wearing like one of the, semi-transparent, translucent masks. One of the bullshit masks. So you could really, really

capture the emotions as he had to see his, like, his most petulant son, you know, like, Will Mustchamp doesn't do this shit. Will Mustamp just accepts, you know, the discipline and like... I lost. I want to wrestle, Daddy. Daddy, I want to wrestle.

Yeah, whereas Kiffin, you have to actually put him away, you know. Yeah, like, kid, I will choke you out. And Mustchamp's like, no you don't have to choke me out daddy you you won you got it kiffin's like me make me eat two marshmallows that's doing yeah that's kiffin's like i want it to turn black turn the lights off daddy you're gonna have to do it kiffin is very very like joker with batman like you are going to have to kill me at some point you understand that right i understand there is a story in the comics

right now where batman does try to kill joker so batman sabin the two of you you've finally been broken by kiff and joker welcome to batman fridays so so the panty on the head um panty on the head he can't wear yeah at one point he had like a dj he had a d k metcalf cat uh mask on which i thought was interesting it might have been was it two sided because one side said manning okay so he can just like shout out old miss people which i think rules because that means that they can shout out anybody i'm breathing into you archie right yes like yeah i'm being protected from the elements by Alex McDaniel.

I'm wearing this mask over my face that says Shepard Smith because he went to Old Miss. You can shout out any old Miss grad. I've got my mask that says Trent Lott. Yeah, Eggball mask, it's got to be Elijah Moore. Yeah. We've got to have the silhouette of the celebration

and everything. They're going to do that too. You'll get my emotions by putting like Chuckie Mullen's on there and I'll go, oh man, that is such a great tradition. That's awesome. And then Kiffin will put Elijah Moore on there. And then I'll be even more sold. And then post-game, Marshall Henderson.

I hope the band does it. I hope every member of the band stands up and crooks a leg every time they score. Kiffin's going to piss his khakis at the Egg Bowl. Just to establish dominance. I did it. It happened. You next, Leach. Come on.

Leach won't even notice. No. The common thread with the masks. He'll be busy scoring two points. Mm. we can talk about that god i still can't believe that's real i'm gonna go back and watch that entire game for fun

yeah let me just can we put it this way because i didn't get to see enough uh this actually happened week one k j costello 624 yards that's an cc record passing man air raid's gonna work again the cc week two nah week three benched so i mean the air raid in the cc sure you know and like like modern offenses it's all the mismatch and like you know all of these concepts can work anywhere. Air raid concepts work in the NFL. But Mike Leach's air raid,

Mike Leach is stubborn ass, you know? Like, that's the shit. Like, the air raid can work in the SEC. Mike Leach and the SEC, I don't know. Man, I love Terry Wilson so much. Hey, at least KJ Costello's not going to get a Stanford degree. At least you move from the Bay Area to Starkville, baby. I mean, it's cheaper.

I might do that. do that too actually I can't make too much fun of him there's also this oh no this is not his fault to be clear KJ Costello had four interceptions and no TDs okay that part maybe is a little bit on four interceptions on 55 attempts

by the way on 55 attempts had 232 yards passing and average 4.2 yards okay the replacement it's dude by the name of Will Rogers what no lie he's Will Rogers

the same Will Rogers who said if you're on the right track stay there? Yes, can I give you this? No, no wait. You'll get run over if you just sit there, guy. Okay, well, he didn't do that. That's not a metaphor. He decided to run straight toward the train because he threw two picks and just 15 attempts.

So, he was worse. For all that shit, I again, just blame Leach. Because, like, they ran very careful. Nine carries by non-quarterbacks. Nine rushing attempts on the day. Nine. 70 throws.

Hey, in our defense, angry listeners fixing to type up some tweets at Stephen Godfrey at 38 Godfrey on Twitter. It's only so easy to ascribe this shit to Leach because we've seen it before twice. Yeah, by the way, this is awesome. This game is incredible because not only was the score 24 to 2, which frame it. If I take one game from me as a coach, as Mark Stubbs, it would be this. Like, think about this moment for Mark Stoops. Is Mark Stoops getting all those fancy New York Times profiles by Michael Lewis?

No, is he getting his spot on 60 Minutes? No, Mark Stoops isn't getting a spot in an airline mag. He's not getting anything. He's the third Stoops brother. Mark Stoops could tweet the most problematic shit right now and no one would even know. No one would know where it is. Leach gets all those headlines.

What field does he play at? He's blue anon. He plays in Kroger Field. Man has to play in Kroger Field for a living with John Colapari sucking up all the air across campus. And what does Mark Stubes do? He beats the Genius Mike Leach 24-2 with how many yards of total offense 157? This is not my preferred brand of football. That's fucking beautiful.

That's incredible. Terry Wilson went eight for 20 and one. You know what I call that? Old school SEC excellent. That's what that is. This is like one of those stories where you're like, this man was in one car accident and trapped for a week, but he survived drinking his own urine and eating a roadmap.

And his, like, that's this Kentucky win. It shouldn't happen. We survive by drinking our own pee. It's sterile and we like the taste. I love this. I absolutely love this. Except for Kyle and Hill. Kyle and Hill's being wasted on a really crappy Mississippi State team and that's a shame.

Okay. I think it's rude. we don't move on to the Florida game at this point. Oh, yeah. We've got to discuss this. I will point out the state of Florida is surrounded on water by three sides. Technically, it's always been harder to defend.

Well, they have some issues on that front too. Texas isn't surrounded on I almost had you. I almost had you. I bet you actually thought that. So I think I think you can judge it enough because you got the gold. You got the Rio.

grand and Galveston Bay. Well, it's very angular. Like it, there is a west, there is a north, and then there's a west again, and then you got the Gulf on the east. I think you can I think you can fudge it enough. Plus clouds are made of water, so.

He's real mad now. You sponsored him as what you did. He had a whole thing. I know, it's great. I did. I did. Now it's gone. I'll do it again. That was great. Thank you. I've taught you well. Speaking of plans gone terribly awry

Oh God Florida's defense is so bad So bad How bad is it So bad So bad There are There really are no depths

To this But the most damning thing I can say Is that Who was gonna give Jimbo His quality win Over a top five opponent

Even in a year Where top five Didn't mean anything That's right Florida Yay we did it y'all I don't think you're actually excited.

No, I'm not. Why can't you be happy for Jimbo? He's rich. Jimbo, Jimbo's a part of the gentry now. He's an opponent by class. He's too rich to be concerned about my opinions, especially because, I don't know, is it bad when your defense allows 32 first downs?

That seems bad. How many of them were on third down? Let's ask Nick. Oh, that's funny, because you know what? by the way Florida went six for nine on third down nice yeah you know what

A&M went 12 for 15 on third down 12 that's like a free throw number that's a free throw number it's literally a free throw number it's that predictable those throws were very expensive on every third down did we do most of those

with blitzes incoming yeah I think we did about nine of them of the 12 were with pressure called did it get there? No no it did not did they let you say we on the SEC network Monday's at 7th

no but this is my show I do a show on the SEC network with other people where I don't get to say we he doesn't know the name I know thinking out loud live 7 p.m. on the SEC network

what day Monday what day is that that is tomorrow Okay. Are you sure? Positive. Okay. You gaslighting fools.

You're awfully sensitive tonight. We lost to Texas A-D-M. We, huh? Okay. Deservedly. Deservedly. What is there to be mad about? Because there is nothing that happened to Florida in this game that there were not heavy hints of in the games against South Carolina and Old Miss.

Explain. reader you should not have been surprised at like the scooby-doo reveal here like old miss had no problem moving the ball for most of the game against florida south like south carolina had the last drive that were they like inexplicably chewed up nine minutes of clock or some shit when they needed to go fast but of note is that they were moving the ball and like in that game their first drive of that game they marched right down the field and scored touchdown as well like there's Florida was a little better on third down a decent better on third down against South Carolina but they weren't good against old miss and like this this was this was not to

me oh something that was working for for Florida broke this was oh I told you to fix the toilet two months ago and now it's really really broken really broken also none this shit matters because you're still ranked ahead of them are they really that's delightful that's true that's peak that's peak that's peak aggie right there baby you didn't need this win anyway I will say by the way shout out a little bit of praise for south carolina there Kevin harris is amazing because we allow rushing yards and passing yards also Kevin harris had 171 yards this week against vandy and a 41 7 win will must champ contract extension

Woo! Let's do it! Got a conference win! Contract extension! I'm doing the voice for I don't really mean it. I did like that Dan Mullen, Dan Mullen's takeaway from this game was... The dumbest possible takeaway!

Gosh, sure was loud. Dan Mullen. Ooh, that's quite a hurdle. Well, at least Florida had that takeaway for this game. Sure was loud. Sure was noisy in that there stadium. You know what we need. 90,000 fans of the next Florida game.

it took uh roughly the 30 hours or so before before florida's president was like yeah we're going to go stick to the cdc and the medical guidelines but thank you but i'm glad we're at the point where but my fee fees said yeah i'm glad we're at the point where it's noises fault not todd grantham's Todd granth um you know Todd grantham scared of loud noises why are hey a lot of people keep hiring him on purpose it's July 10th why are you shooting fireworks off you know i have Todd Grantham? Stop it. He's to look at him.

He ate the team. Look, he's dialing up an Agap Blitz right now. Look what you did. God, that is the worst. It is the worst knowing you're like, here comes the Agat Blitz. Oh, God, it's not going to get there. He can't help it.

It's so noisy in there. You should have seen him when I tried to bring him on the ferry once. Imagine trying to put a thunder shirt on Todd Grantham. Well, he ate the thunder shirt. Ain't the team bus. Ain't everything. The man just eats everything that threatens him. Except for third downs.

Third downs, he leaves for the opponent. I am actually very thankful that this game did not go to overtime. Because I'm confident Florida would have lost in overtime because they couldn't defend. And it would have just like, it would have been a longer and different version of that. Plus, we had a different game go to overtime and very stupid. four of them did you I felt so bad for Andy Wall did you not find the first four

quarters of Texas OU to be college football to be sloppy enough Big 12 confusing enough to be Fox Sports It's a perfect Gus Johnson game That was beautiful awareness to work the plug in there

because he had to know this was going to get shaded What I love about that moment when Oklahoma misses the kick that misses a field goal that should have just ended the game and I think

the second overtime maybe merciful there's a pause between each one of those where his brain's like come on Gus say something

and it's just fuck sports come on don't just look around and say the first thing Big 12 God damn it Gus you're just saying

don't say Joel clatt you know you want to say Joel clatt and he didn't he's just identifying elements that are present at the scene and or sponsoring it. He could have gone like,

Dallas City Council! I think this is intentional. This is a test of his own Gus Johnsonness. This is... Is there anything nearby that I can blurt the name of that will not hit if I say it in the Gus Johnson voice

at a Gus Johnson moment? What a burger! Rickle of honey drops! I think he also delivered his best ever in this game oh it was killer it was fucking awesome it was magisterial i mean if you don't expect accuracy and you just want hype there's nothing better than gus job i mean people are like oh i don't know i just guess isn't exact gus isn't that's not what he does no it's not what the red river shit out's about either accuracy no this is like kicking your blender because it's not

lubricating your car engine that's not what it's made for i'll tell you the stupidest thing about this game it's the number 53 that's how many times they had sam ellinger pass sam ellinger basically tim tibow in what ways uh in the way that he is a giant white boy you can't throw okay you just want like sam ellinger they really should just run the single wing with sam elliger and yet and yet because they got to show that he's multiple. They got to pitch him as an NFL prospect. They got to have him

pass, which is a mistake. Because he threw 53 times in this game for how many yards. If you throw 53 times, I think you should get the 300 yards. Nope. Nope. 287. That's basically a Pilates class. Yeah.

Just nibbling away. You just turn my big beautiful Bronny fullback who should be throwing 14 huge playoffs. action passes a game you turn him into a nibbler who also threw two interceptions in addition to those two TDs he did have 112 like rushing yards on 23 carries they probably should have flipped those attempts you probably should have rode the ball 53 times what he have would he have like passed out from exhaustion yeah but they might have won I love that this was a 98 point game

in which neither team was good at offense at all like both teams teams passed for under under 6.2 yards per attempt. Both teams ran for under 4.1 yards per attempt. Let's see. Yeah, it's not great. Both teams.

Both teams. Yeah. Three turnovers each. But hey, we got the number, didn't we? Got the number. This game had 98 points and it still felt constipated. I don't know how that happened.

It still felt like a game where everybody was struggling to do anything. I mean, four OTs will help with that, but damn these are not good football teams at this point neither one of them props to oklahoma though for like multiple times trying to blow this game multiple times just like the whole fourth quarter the over the uh the overtime mess entire game both yeah teams for the entire game we're trying to play the game no jason's right because i feel like they

lost intent you know like when a game gets confusing is when i don't feel like either team knows they're supposed to try to win the game that's when i know any sporting event is confusing when i when both teams are like we we honestly don't know how to get out this field that's what i felt like when they went four o t's i was like oh yeah they don't even like the result is irrelevant here they both just won out of this stadium relatable as we talk to our longhorn network friends who were working them again just get us out of here make it stop oh yeah yeah speak speaking of speaking of make it stop hey did we think miami really had a chance because no yeah okay good i did not and i'm sad that i was right

i mean i thought they had a little bit more of a chance as in plus 14 points but no not not a chance to win no i i i wish that they had i was still sad i really wanted to see them rack some shit i didn't really think they could but i was hoping they would yeah just in case you have any hope that clemson will not be the boot stamping on your face for the rest of eternity once trevor lawrence leaves and travis etienne again still travis etienne still underrated despite the fact that everybody knows travis etienne's good because travis etienne is incredible we really can't say that enough he's awesome he's the only running back in college football with his own fast forward button. I don't know how he hits it, but he does.

I watched that GIF of him that they showed yesterday and my brain can't adjust to the fact that it's not sped up. Yeah. No, he did that against Ohio State last year too. Yeah. The the speed where he gets to the 40 and just you talk about guys having an extra gear, but seeing it so literally in front of you is something you're never quite ready for. But in case you thought, oh, surely Clemson will slow down after that and their dynastic period will cease I don't know they got a 6-4-250-pound freshman quarterback coming in

DJ Yui Agalele who's basically the Samoan Cam Newton That's an excellent name Good luck good luck because they featured him in this game and he looks like he looks like the next coming

of the God who will rule so cool good to know we can all just not pay attention to football and hand a championship slot to Clemson for the next four years. It's nice to have that off our plate. It really is. Yeah, we could go for some nice walks.

We could. We could take care. Learn a new skill. We could take care of a little business. Podcast business? Podcast business. What's a business? Podcast business.

It's just so dark. It's a business for a podcast business for a podcast. sell some t-shirts yep stopped at the fun four times oh my god he's got a gun oh my god he's got a

gun gone go ahead do it do your business home field apparel there it is home field apparel how we love you

that is correct home field apparel who this weekend dropped their latest that is i'm going to say this i'm going to say this and and and it does not pay me to say it all because the punneruski shirt if it didn't say florida state i'd buy it and that means a lot because they dropped their florida state collection where did florida state finish in the standings by the way after all of a sudden done college football standings uh that would be the homefield

sales standings the big new saturday rankings i don't know i don't i don't look actually because i know are you asking us i am i'm doing the read I am. I'm legit curious. Okay. Hold on. So I think Spencer has like research assistant. It's, it's the rest of the world.

I don't know that they've updated. I haven't seen an updated. I'm looking now. They were, they were in fourth late in the day. That sounds not right. Yeah. But I don't know if they ended up. get into three or two that is correct that is great homefield apparel thanks

thanks for confirming the thing you don't know so word to add read ever i'm really sorry connor sitting here scrolling twitter right now on homefield's account so i can look it up god damn anyway uh i just got my new fall wardrobe as stephen godfrey calls it from homefield apparel and may i put in a good word for those of you casting about for something nice an octobery to buy the colorado state vintage sweatshirt when it was known as colorado agricultural college they had a logo that i would best describe as a ruin of some type uh and it gets a you get a very nice Halloween vibe out of this not at all a Halloween sweatshirt and of course it is so soft as are all homefield sweatshirts that it's like being swaddled in baby

angel butts i could not possibly recommend it more Yeah, that's it, no, that logo, the Rune logo for Colorado State, that's hot. I am personally looking into the Hawaii rainbows, old school shirts. I can't decide which rainbow sweatshirt to get, so you get one and I'll get one, and then we'll just trade. Okay, this sounds good. I was also thinking of picking up an NCAA and T because, yeah, home field, this HBCUs. Get that on you. It's pretty.

It's got the blue and gold. It's absolutely lovely. I am really hoping they get the Florida line. I know that we're going to have to pull off all kinds of insane political capers because it's Florida. I don't expect it to be straightforward. I don't expect it to not involve some weird swampy shenanigans in order to get home field licensed and ready to go as a provider of fine Florida gear. But I need that 70s logo. We need PCP Gator is what we need.

That's right. Oh, wow. I forgot about that, dude. I need PCP Gator. I need some vintage spurious, like, you know, like 90s extreme stuff yeah right i need the vintage 70s logo where it looks like the gator is humping the panhandle of florida yeah it not doesn't look like it is no that's like you know romulus and remus and the wolf and the story of rome that's yeah it's founding that's florida's

mythological basis he's he's just making sweet love to fort walton beach as one does as one does yeah we we need that and and you need that uh so homefield which is which has been like you don't know who's like down with us homefield apparel so the offer code is what PCP gator the offer code is not PCP gator damn it you want me to say that I do I want you to say all kinds of things I believe the offer code is shut down correct it's full no sure is it full cast okay there we go it's full cast Connor and I were just talking over the weekend about, I think, the second time. How shitty I am. I know.

I think about the second time we did this ad read. And I think it was Ryan that time, forgot to say the words like college football apparel or, you know, vintage or mentioned what home field made it all. And I laughed at the thought of those long, long ago days. Anyway, no reason. offer code full cast 20% off your first order no PCP gator honestly if you're listening to this show right now and you haven't bought homefield apparel apparel what the hell man i think people are i think people are waiting i think people are waiting to see new

schools get at it because there's we all know there's some good schools on the way but we're not going to tell you who they are yeah you'll just have to like pay attention to big new saturday there are some big big new schools coming up by which i mean uh new money and programs that are new to home field apparel also i will say this in the time before there were two things that got random strangers to come up and touch me or rub on me okay attractive ones only two things one the beard the beard you're gonna let me have this okay all right the beard and literally homefield shirts i've had i've had two people at least go who that shirt looks off and rub it because they were right now what i'm hearing is that home field should also sell like

force fields because this makes me wary to wear my home field shirt in public if strangers are going to so connor uh the home field apparel force field um and that feels like a very big 10 brand yeah well if you don't want anybody Minnesota golden gophers force field if you don't want anybody to touch you by the way, just let's get Northwestern on board. And then no one will ever touch you. Right. I wanted to talk next about. That's the last time Connor's ever going to say dealer's choice when it comes to an ad.

Yeah. Sorry about that, Connor. Podcast business concluded. Auburn, Arkansas is what I wanted to talk about next because football is bad and dumb. And it doesn't get much bader or dumber than the end of this game. If you were not familiar, the end of this game involved an officiating snafu, which at this point, I disagree. I disagree. Okay.

Look, we're calling it an officiating snafu, but what that obscures is that Auburn consistently finds ways to do things that football people are not trained to understand. Like, you have never seen, you have never seen someone attempt to spike those. the ball, bobble the snap, and spike it back, spike it facing the other direction. Like, I, I'm fine if we want to say the ref screwed up, but like, let us not ignore Auburn's amazing capacity to take, like, the limited object we know is college football and present it to us in new and challenging ways. They are like modern chefs at what they do. The Raptors test testing the electric fencing.

Yes. And now it's eating the electric fencing. How is it doing that? Because it's Auburn. We did not predict that it would do that. We did not predict that the tiger eagles would be able to reproduce on this island. But life found a way. Yeah. So to review the situation, it is third in one at the Arkansas 19. Auburn has the ball. There are 20 seconds left. Auburn has, in true Auburn fashion, eaten all of its timeouts. Auburn is down two, one. Auburn is down by one. It is 2827, by the way, also peak Arkansas here to be at 28, 27 with the other team driving for an unsatisfying game-winning field golf. They were at 12 for a large portion of that game, and then they were at 18, which made me so happy.

They were at 12 for a real long-ass time, all right? I'm comforted by Kentucky, Mississippi State ending with. the two on one side of the ledger because for a while Arkansas had 12 and then Arkansas had 18 and I'm like this is just weird enough to be entertaining again who's like it's not like having a five who's the it's enough to make you giggle who's the only one keeping our culture alive kentucky football with under 200 yards of offense and winning thank god for you kentucky football quote me who so back back to third and one at the arkansas 19 with 20 seconds to go the uh auburn offense rolls up to the line of scrimmage bow nix takes the ball he is going to spike

it to stop the clock and when he attempts to spike it the snap goes off of his hands he fumbles and everyone freezes because they don't know who's going to get possession and yet bow nicks immediately a deftly snaps the ball up does the thing he is supposed to and spikes the ball which direction is he facing at this point backwards like an idiot Just an idiotic, a barrett insane thing to do because who on earth has ever spiked the ball backwards? No one. I'm telling you. It's, sorry for innovating.

You don't have to like it, but you will see some shit you never saw before. No, it has ever spiked the ball backwards in his football. No, I'm with Ryan. I'm not mad at all. This was amazing. But Bo Nix just decided to freestyle on the spike. Sure. Why not?

Nothing matters. This is like if you tried to punt with your ass. So then this is, this is, uh, the ball dribbles away and Arkansas attempts to recover it. I don't know if they like clearly do. And it doesn't really matter because ultimately the refs say we blew the play dead. We could not like, yes, this maybe was a fumble, but we could not determine that, whatever. But here's the best part of this. When Bo Nix spiked the ball facing the wrong end zone.

because the snap was not clean the refs said that this was intentional grounding you're not allowed normally to just throw the ball at your feet it's this very specific exception to uh uh to intentional grounding and if you don't get the snap off clean you don't get to do it because of that 10 seconds had to run off the clock which was only bad for arkansas there is nothing about the situation that in any way shape or form hurt auburn even though there's the ones who fucked it up beyond belief that's what made it special that's what made it beautiful war eagle forever i'm beginning to war if i wonder if auburn jesus isn't something darker that just just that the lord works in mysterious ways and what's more mysterious than deciding to

come up with a new way to do one of the most basic football moves and then and then because Because, like, in a just universe, in a ball don't lie universe, what would have happened after that? Auburn would have missed the field goal, right? Mm-hmm. No. Absolutely not. Absolutely crushed that motherfucker. Had Anders Carlson missed a previous attempt?

Yes. Yes. Yes, he had. Yes. So the ball had previously gotten the truth out of the way. That's right. He's cleared to tell a lot. The ball had built up a reserve.

of truth telling goodwill yeah and then pass pass through the gates to heaven pass through the lie detector test of heaven that's it the truth we're going to win this game on some bullshit please pass through my son thank you for being honest oh poor arkansas no no no arkansas is dude arkansas is back to screaming at the cc office because they rightfully got screwed. That's way better than where they've been. Are you kidding me? Chad Morris didn't get to get worked up about. You saw what Bo Nix said after this game, right? I did not. I don't know the exact quote, but Bo Nix was like, yeah, man, Arkansas played really hard. And I think a lot of that is because Chad Morris was over there recently. I think like a lot of the crew. I love Chad Morris.

I'm sorry. That's amazing. so having given that a moment to breathe and or off gas which i think the the end of any auburn you got to store auburn out of the fridge in a paper bag you got to let auburn it's going to rot all the rest of your food you got to let the wind take auburn and get the half-life down for a couple of millennia before you look at any of their best victories in recent history because they come at the expense of both sanity and your lifespan um i'm I don't really want, I have Florida State Notre Dame here. I'm going to skip it.

Yeah, it was fine for a minute, a minute. And then, yeah. It happened. It happened. I just wanted to, I got two things left on the agenda. Okay. One, I wanted to, on a weekend when nobody played defense. I wanted you guys, I'm just going to give you the raw numbers.

And you tell me what game it was. Okay. We'll start demure. We'll start cute. Okay. 54 if I just these are totals between the two two I was going to say are you just going to say numbers I'm going to say the two total okay but I'll get this game had a nine but I will give you okay that wasn't Mississippi State in Kentucky I'll give you the five games that I'm talking about here okay five games yeah one is North Carolina Virginia Tech another one is Texas A&M Florida that means the fifth one we're not going to be a have to get that's fine are we doing box score bingo a little bit um another one is Alabama old miss another one's Missouri LSU and then the last one is oh you Texas all right

we'll start demure okay 46 first downs a thousand sixty five yards total offense and 96 points that's combined okay North Carolina no I think that's i think that's believe that is texas no no that's a bam all in this right that is missouri 45 ls u 41 the game where the game where Hillary shanuck the advocate photographer who previously famous for catching the immortal photo of kevin fog about to whip jimbo fisher's nephew's ass oh a hero on the field caught bo pelini with his head in his hands looking like he was about to die That is the game, by the way, in the effort that Coach Ed Ogeron called Embarrant 65-yard throw offense in 96 points.

That is Mizzou, LSU in a game where there was an actual defined, documented goal line stand, not by LSU. That would be Mizzou absolutely whipping ass at the goal line on force straight attempts, putting LSU back and winning this game. So that was the game, I would phrase it this way. that was the game that featured some actual defense that was the demure game great that was the demure game okay oh now i see what we're doing here next game next game 54 first downs good god okay this was red river 54 first towns no 945 yards total offense so we didn't hit a thousand and 79 total points i think that's florida a and m that is correct that is correct we're still in the the demure category yeah okay what is the demure category that would be under a thousand yards or around

a thousand yards modest these are like hey you're not going to get that many airline uh airline points for this trip yeah next 57 first downs good god only 897 yards total offense but 98 points that's that's red river that is correct somehow i want you to know how unwatchable the red river rivalry was and four overtimes they still didn't get to a thousand yards off pets right not that you're going to be racked up a whole lot of yards on o t but you figure in four of them you would still get over a thousand no that's how ineffective this game was both long and futile disagree on unwatchable but i i i know what it could mean to people who have standards so okay i'm literally tweeting the sickos picture at you jason thank you in the window going yeah yeah this game

game was great he lost his other box scores didn't he uh these games were great these games were incredible So 56 first downs 1,151 yards total offense and 101 total points I think that must be North Carolina Virginia Tech, yeah That is correct, that is correct In a 5645 game

Where at one point VT came back from like 30 down and just made up points. In case you want to know what the effects of COVID are on football in general, it's that Virginia Tech can look at like a 28 like point deficit and go, no, we got this. We'll get back into this. That leaves. Virginia Tech also has like a 28 guy deficit.

Yeah. Can we talk about that for a second? Yeah. That nobody's getting accurate numbers. And no one seems to give a shit. No one cares. VT is rolling out two-thirds of a team every single week and no one gives a fuck that it doesn't matter.

It just doesn't matter. Like the NFL is the fucking NFL is adjusting itself because like one or two guys are getting sick, which yes, you should. And Virginia Tech just roll in with, you know, nine players a week. Sure. Well, back up. Let's talk about Florida while y'all are both here.

Yeah. What that we had? Was it 10 players on defense? total who are out including two starters that's not weird i don't know out due to injury all all that i think like the easiest way to sum it up is this because i don't know if like florida could be telling the complete truth about every player who was out for that game um the only but like the and you can look the nfl fucking adam shepter wakes up every morning and the first thing he thinks is I need to tell you exactly how many players or staffers tested positive for

each NFL team and I need to tell you about all the ones that didn't like that's his reason for getting up every day now can anybody on this podcast say with any certainty like what the numbers for any team are right now can you say like this team has X positives last week they had why the week before they actually not with certainty yeah i can tell you who's been sending really yeah well i can tell you who's been sending really thorough emails with the numbers helpfully broken down as michigan okay i can't tell you uh how they're arriving at those numbers i would not Notre Dame has done like a pretty good job of saying this as well but like nobody is forcing any of these schools to disclose anything so it all just sort of leaks out around

the edges and you have no idea how much of it is like you get these situations where you're like georgia souther is missing 30 players vanderbilt's down to like 52 scholarship players why are they miss why are they so low i don't know not going to tell you have a great day believe in jesus your sports it's always i'm not kidding it's just really crazy that we decided like yes we're going to play a college football season yes we're going to play it in the middle of pandemic no At no point will we worry about what the numbers are from a, like, public information perspective for an infectious fucking disease. Or worse. And by the way, in which the parents, the loudest parents, come down on the side in support of all of this.

Yeah. What? What I am interested in seeing is this. You see that many people in the stands on a game day, and you see that many people that close together and I am just thinking I know someone's tracking this this is a this is a contact tracing a cluster study waiting to happen and somebody's just sitting in the stands with it USF already basically had to do contact tracing from their game against Notre Dame by reviewing the game tape that's a thing that happened like I know everybody's very mad at the Titans and like

doesn't understand the the second plane for the Patriots and yeah those things might be stupid but like what is going on in college football is just it's it's truly like I get that we have just decided to go forward and do it and like lean into it but the level of scrutiny being applied to it is zero it's zero it's not like it's not like we got frog boiled on this either we were thrown directly into the boiling water and everybody just gave the thumbs up what the fuck are we doing here man oh yeah so you're ready for the last game that's definitely a great transition yeah yeah speaking of uncontrolled uncontrolled unmonitored and irresponsible spread 68 first downs 1,370 yards total offense 111 total points yeah that's the last that's the last game we

have left that's Alabama Ole Miss and I mentioned that only to compare what we consider to be a historic pile of offensive production slash defensive negligence, which admittedly 68 1,370 yards tall offense and 111 total points is a big 12 level atrocity in terms of offensive yield. I want you to know that this is but the Kachan jungle looking up at the Everest because this still pales in comparison to 2016. Oklahoma, Texas Tech. Lest you forget Baker Mayfield

going up against Pat Mahomes in Lubbock in 2016 in case you forget what a supernova of defensive incompetence that was.

And offensive excellence. 68 first downs between Alabama and Old Miss. Ha ha. Lane's making Nick real mad. I don't think it's 76 combined first downs mad. Which

76 eight more that's the whole order of magnitude more standard deviation off 1,370 yards total offense between alabama and old miss on Saturday night yeah that's a lot it's not 17008 it's not 1,708 yards of total offense those are more in my opinion that's much more that's that is a good game by an offense more by a single Okay, when you measure it in terms of entire games, it really lands. It's an entire game more. Also 111 points. I think that's just this, everything you're describing to me is just a speed thing. Like, Oklahoma and Texas Tech both played fast, and Ole Miss played fast at points, but Bama just didn't play, like, I think the best announcements of this game was from Roger Sherman, who I don't have the exact number pulled up, but he was basically like,

take every drive bama had and take where it starts and how far it would have to go to get a touchdown and now like add up all those yards old miss allowed like all but 30 of those yards basically every almost every bama drive ended in a touchdown or very fucking close to a touchdown it was it was just like they were there was no prayer of them ever stopping them on defense didn't matter it's still fun god it was great and it made the it made the onside kick made a lot more sense but geez

okay well consider all that know this they still scored 14 more points than oh u texas tech with oh with old miss's defense being a practical non-entity being around the error they still scored 14 more points

okay yeah so what i'm saying is nick sabin you're ready for the big 12 congratulations don't take that texas job is any day now is it going to be open who could say