Shutdown Fullcast - Hideo Kojima State Radio Presents "Vatican 3000"

Episode Date: June 25, 2025

- Let's remember some boys: https://www.newyorker.com/magazine/2004/08/30/the-boys-4- Breaking some college basketball news to Spencer- Hideo Kojima reveals himself to either be a longtime listener or our personal puppeteer- We put Ryan in space- College World Series film breakdown- Tracing the historical legacy of college football coaches getting thrown out of games, featuring field legends Will Muschamp and Woody Hayes- Fullcast theme song arranged and performed by Matthew Flovski- Check out Surber’s band, Killer Antz: https://linktr.ee/killerantz- Listen to Phantom Island, Ryan’s new show with Godfrey, which is not a college football show because a second simply cannot exist, at falconscottproductions.com- Check out Jason's free CFB Watch Grid newsletter and other work: https://www.jasonkirk.fyi- DID YOU KNOW: Holly and Spencer write a year-round newsletter, featuring football and also unfootball things, at https://channel-6.ghost.io

David Roth posted earlier online. He says, obviously it's a very bad moment, but it is funny that Trump really seems to have thought he would win a Nobel Peace Prize by getting on the phone with a bunch of authoritarian sociopaths and saying, knock it off, dumb as possible version of the great man theory of history, the sports radio version. And immediately my mind just goes to Mike Francesca and War of the Roses. I don't know what Adams in my brain smashed these two together, but I'm just picturing him looking at this line of like, dead 12 year old pages being like their lips still bears life's crimson flush and I can't do the voice which doesn't help but I can hear it so clearly like the thing with Francesca

is that like or Francesca Francesca I can't is that not how you say it there are many theories I don't know okay Mike Francesa whatever you know that Mike Francesca guy pick a pronunciation and defend it. Can you fucking defend it? Are you going to be a bitch and back down from your

pronunciation? Is this like when they think... I don't know what his accent is. I just know he yells, so I'm just yelling. Yeah. Have you guys, has everybody here read the New Yorker? Was it the New Yorker? Yes. The New Yorker profile? If it's the New Yorker, then I probably have not, but... Okay. Just this once, there's a New Yorker profile of Mike and the Mad Dog from like deadspin years. And it is... I think Katie Baker made me. me read it and I have never been more happy to be talked into reading something about New York media but there's this part where like they do not share a hotel room on the on the on the road and that was a point of a plot point in the story because at one point their producer tells the

story of walking in on them and there's like a delay or something and they're hanging out in one room because one guy's room's not ready and they're watching the English patient and he walks it is not is not the English patient I thought it's oh no no horse whisperer I have I have I can I can do a dramatic reading of this. Thank you. Thank you. Who wrote this profile? I feel like I'm not doing it justice.

So for, yes, this is a, this is a fantastic, fully recommended. Drop the link in here. All audiences recommended. I remember this now, yeah. It's what started that he had to do it to him, maim. By Nick Palm Garden, who really should have won. You can talk about people who should have won a Nobel. Yeah, did this not win a National Magazine Award?

What the fuck? It really should have because it's a really good. profile of how two people who've worked together for a long time actually interact or don't interact. It's really fascinating. But there is also this part that is practically a meme, a sample that you can drop in any conversation with anybody who works in sports online, and it goes like this. Francesa and Rousseau have grown so accustomed to talking to each other about sports that even when they are talking about something else, they sound as if they're discussing a faked punt or a quirk in the Yankees' schedule.

A few years ago, circumstances, Nix Pacers, conference finals in Indianapolis, Francesa's hotel room not ready, placed the two of them for an hour or so in a hotel room together, a rare occurrence. When they are on the road, they often stay in separate hotels. I always stay in the best hotel,

Francesa told me. Chris Carlin, their producer at the time, who now has a show of his own on WFAN, walked in to find them watching The Horsewood. whisperer. Carlin started to speak, but they shushed him. On the TV screen, Robert Redford was breaking up with Kristen

Scott Thomas. When the scene was over, Rousseau said, solemnly, Mikey, he had to do it. He had to do it. It was the right move, dog. Franceser replied. A right move. This is the greatest passage in American nonfiction

writing ever. Ever. This pivoted to my little brain tick that went off when you were like Mike Frances at Agencourt because my brain tick was Joe Rogan at the murder or the assassination of Nikolai Chalcchescu Oh he was no he was there dude

Yeah yeah it was Because I immediately saw that they flashed to the camera Showing Nikolai Chalcchescu dead on the ground And I hear Rogan going Oh he's hurt Mike He's hurt You know where we have to go here at some place we've been recently

but can I see that and raise you a John McEnroe with the assassination of Luis Carrero Blanco if only because chalk flew was he in or was he out that's outrageous

Brogan works there too just Louis Carre he's hurt that little shitty car flies through the air the look on his faces he's like oh my god i'm louis carrero blanco i've been i've lived my whole life and i didn't know i was this guy the faces i want to see in that particular incident are the guys who are out there in coveralls being like not the bombers yeah nobody here but us

chickens yeah that's this is this is this is my favorite this is my favorite we basically have as a president now we have the fantasy that a lot of people have when they go we hired a disciplinarians coach he's going to come in and tell those guys what's what and you're like what happened and you're like everyone in the locker room fucking hates him the team sucks somebody likes it

nobody wants any of this shit yeah we heard bobby knight as president yeah but not even like 1975 i'm hungry and getting results bobby night current current bobby night we hired 12 beers on the golf course bobby night Very, very current Bobby Knight.

Yes. Wait, isn't Bobby Knight dead? Spencer, you have stumbled in the tube. There we go. Specifically referring to in terms of current competence. That is what I was referring to. You know, I heard War of the Roses, and my mind went to Chris Berman in Name of the Rose, was what I... Okay.

... pairing I would like to have. Just coming up with nicknames for the Dulcinians and the... Oh, God. the atomites and the various heresies that are all like ways of saying well not the atomites in particular but that you know it's just oh they said this thing that's point three percent wrong about the trinity and and chris burman has to weigh in on all of it and there's like a thousand pages echo sorry yeah yeah yeah umberto echo echo echo oh god this so much better umberto umberto you think he'd roll the r umberto i god i hope so with the same fucking music backing up that has been there for 30 years. I love, do you think that's still on reel-to-reel? They're like, hook up the reel-to-reel. We've got to play the Bumblin-Stumblin music.

Spotify by now. Let's see here. NFL primetime. NFL primetime music, man. There we go. You getting this? You know that, like, that same stock music was probably played over, like, yeah. That same stock music was probably played over some, like, hospitality training video for a regional steakhouse.

Here we go. Let it hit. There it is. Yeah. Oh, yeah, this has been used to juice quarterly sales goals. Yeah. When operating the hot bar. Make sure the steam tray is up to temperature. I just think church has got to get back to playing the old classics.

None of that. Are you saying, are you saying we need a pre-Vatican 2 NFL highlight reel? Fuck every Vatican. Listen, if we sold it exactly like that. We need, we need the pre-Vatican 2 jacked-up segments, right? That's what we need to work back in here. No, this shit is Vatican. This shit right here is Vatican 3,000.

Every previous Vatican sucked. Vatican 3,000. Episode title, thank you. we're playing this we're handing out free snacks we're doing jacked up segments and we're not even cringing about them yeah

this would be the whole episode I'm just listener I am leaning my headset mic into my laptop speakers that is how you are receiving this music right now we don't need separation

between church and chunga state brother hosiah is going through the library he's pursuing the murderer to the 10 to the five Oh, I forgot about the little twinkly bits, yeah Magic, absolute magic Let's playlists fucking shreds

I'm so hyped to talk about how there's no major sports on Absolutely none I disagree There is a major sport on and I think this music goes with it Because it's also not of secondary interest As I put in our wonderful show doc I was corrected. It's a primary interest.

Please don't bury the leaf. I mean, enough people tagged us in this that I think we can back this up with data. I mean, the God, the master, the genius, the Lord of all intellect,

the creator of all art, the primary mind of humanity, the center of the nerve brain of everything, the Lord and Light, Hadeo Kojima, the other day revealed unto us that he has received a vision from himself

the one who grants and receives all visions the Hideo Koshima simply announced unto us that he has paired in some way Death Stranding 2 the sequel to one of his most brain-gasm creations yet which is saying a lot with Domino's Pizza

the meme is simply the logo of Death Stranding X Domino's Pizza that's it. But it's a good Like fine line font. Yeah, it's very classy. It's very professional. And like, thank you, sir. Thank you.

Thank you for this. There is more information here. For those who just went to sit with that information, you may leave this episode now and go listen to the NFL primetime soundtrack. If you have received all the information you need on this, I understand. But if you would like more, there is more. This is an actual collaboration between his company and his company. Domino's Pizza, which he explained in a tweet. In Blue Sky, we only got the pure, the raw,

just the image, just the icon that we now praise. On Twitter, he explained it with four words, which are Death Stranding and Pizza. Now you see, you're gaining more information as we go. Who do you think reached out to whom? So this is, apparently it's inspired by, he explained it a little bit further, which was when he was a kid, he liked to watch movies. Movies are basically all he talks about. He liked to watch movies, and he was, quote, impressed by large, large American pizzas. He was impressed by the sizes of our pizzas. So he always wanted to collaborate with some big-ass American pizza.

The pizza that he has specifically designed as the Death Stranding 2 collab is called the Gigamete pizza. That was my roommate in college, yeah. that's what they called me back in the day and it is paired with a red bull all right it gets better the death stranding universe already has its own energy drink

in the game is monster energy but the pizza comes with red bull the man is a genius this is like the little caesar's bull having to serve hungry howies man listen if you get death stranding too here's what's going to happen there's a special halocinogen

that only is activated if you consume the Red Bull with the pizza, right? The monster and the Red Bull. Right, and you have to do it at the same time. And it will give you explosive diarrhea, but it will also be an enlightening kind of diarrhea. You will have diarrhea. And so well someone on the other side of the world, and you will have connected. The theme of Death Stranding is connection. The theme of Death Stranding, too, is sometimes there's too much connection,

which can be the case when two people have diarrhea. Maybe you need to take a Red Bull and. run to the bathroom with your new energy. So in my elaborate walking simulator video game where I am carrying a baby in a special sack. And that's just the first game. We haven't, we haven't, I haven't really watched much of the second one beyond the trailers. I have no clue how insane this one gets. Sure.

So hopefully it's incredibly. But you're telling me is that through the power of mass produced big market pizza and Hideo-cogima, I will mind meld with a middle-aged Indonesian man playing this at one in the morning in Jakarta, right? Yes. Our minds will meld and we'll be like, ah, we have connected. And then we will each ruin the carpet in our living rooms with the explosive diarrhea of enlightenment that Hideo and Kojima has given us.

The gigamete will blast both of you into understanding that we are all one. And you will say, thank you, sir. Thank you, Kogima. Thank you for what you have provided us. You know, I thought that eventually we would find out that Kojima was a full cast listener. I didn't think that he would. come to us like this? I think I would put it a different way.

I think we are part of the Kojima universe. I think we are... Oh shit, you're right. We are like the state radio in the Kojima universe. Like we are what the president of who is one snake or another or one boss or another is what forces their citizenry to listen to in order to control their minds. Can I share with you on this Hideo, Kojima State Radio? I wish you would.

The first line of a recent GQ profile about Kojima. For the first 58 years of his life, Hideo Kojima did not think about the fact that one day he will die. I just a fucking agree, man. He will not, he will not. That's where you're wrong, sir. We will not let you go. He said that he has this flash drive, that he has all of his, he knows, ideas that will be unfinished on it. And when he dies, he's just going to give it to somebody.

And I will have all that stuff on it. I will pay any amount of money for this tribe. Sir, sir, we will spend all of our money for your stuff that you were talked out of making. I will take this to that special doomsday vault in South Africa. And I will upload it into a vault that will survive even the most apocalyptic scenarios so that future generations can open a file on a window. N-T because I'm sure like coach him is working on like an old windows yeah yeah yeah right he's like this is the most enlightened operating system and like they open it and there's just three words it's

just like hamburger guru vision eat at Joe's just flashing sign I need this to be the thing that the aliens find when they find us in a billion years and they're like this these people these people were geniuses you know if we could ever get a rocket to leave earth without blowing up we could We've probably made up enough, like, ground in technology now that we can send a second messenger out after the Voyager and be like, hey, Golden Record, wait up. Yeah. We have an addendum. Crazy Voyager. That's it.

That would be it. That fast Voyager. Weird Voyager. Voyager 3,000. We've sent normal Voyager. Now, you want the real shit? It's time to send Oscillot Voyager. Gigameet Voyager.

Gigameet Voyager. Like, if we sent a signal back to the aliens and three-body problem that Kojima composed, they'd be like, don't go near that planet. You don't want what they have. Now it's a four-body problem. Gigameet Voyager had an incredible pitching performance in the college world series. Welcome to the shutdowns. You are listening to the internet's only college football podcast. should be completely obvious about the

after the intro you just listened to. Also, we are undercover as Hideo Kojima State Radio. Again, Kojima, I will pay any amount of money for that thumb drive. I am the only person who can properly convey its meaning to the masses after you leave this mortal coil.

Let it be known. That's just an offer that's on the table. I'm Spencer Hall, the one protector of the true thumb drive of enlightenment. I am joined, as always, by Jason Kirk, Holly Anderson, and Michael Cerber. on the ones and twos. Ryan Nanny is on Punished Voyager.

He's on Weird Voyager. He's journeying the galaxy to convey our stories of ghost soldiers and important characters who do get explosive diarrhea for the right reasons. That is a Metal Gear-ass name for a spaceship. What's it going to do? It's going to voyage. It's called it Voyager. Do we need to put a weird adjective in there?

Yes. Put a random weird adjective. Melted Voyager. Is it melted? in its mind we are here to discuss among other things what happened in the college world series which was won by LSU

congratulations to LSU the true baseball school of all baseball schools they did win but that's not really what we're going to talk about since now they're probably going to win anyway else you just got a bunch of big strong boys who done like like hitting the ball real far and throwing it real hard

That is not surprising thing. Surprising thing was in the first inning, the first inning of their elimination game. Coastal Carolina's first base coach and coach, their head coach. Reverse that chronologically. Yeah, chronologically. Head coach and first base coach both booted in the first inning. For just yelling. Never have I been more upset that this is not a visual medium.

Yes. Because you can't really tell this story without explaining how one of the game efficient's feet went a wiggling in the air. Yes. So once this brouhaha, once this fracas ensued, and there was a heated discussion between coaches, including one who yes, had just been ejected, and officials, that the three officials converged on the discussion. And in that discussion, I believe it was the first base umpire who in a moment of sort of shuffling back and forth took a tumble backwards. And when he took a tumble backwards, he fell backwards and I'm not exaggerating. Exactly like a toddler, right? I mean like

straight down on his ass, continuing carrying motion backwards so that at one point he had his legs in the air like he was on a Pilates reformer. right and they were wiggling like he was selling his own move he didn't really he kind of looked like he had just been stunned like stone cold stunned uh he went back wiggled in the air and then holly when he got up how would you describe his uh his demeanor um he i would classify this under the heading of he tried to hot rot it a little bit the movie like he he stood up and he was like it was very much an air of it was like when a cat manages to roll off something and it kind of he kind of stood up with an air of smoothing his own feathers and there's stuff like nobody saw that right

i am not surrounded by cameras and people on national television correct and he was just kind of like and he he tried to play it off yeah as though it might not have occurred a dog but there was there was most of this came from the coaches in question but there was so much in the initial moments of this when everybody at home and everybody in the studio was also trying to figure out what had happened because the cameras did not catch this initial argument there was so much body language poetry a ton of it and this left as um you could have run this as a silent film yeah it was um unprecedented i don't think i've ever seen anybody booted that early like yeah did you mention this was the bottom of the first inning it yeah it was first inning of coastal's elimination game it's it's a big

fucking it's a huge deal like yeah they won a title before but they're a small school man let them yell a little bit they're they're playing fucking the college baseball gangies let them hoot and holler all they want who gives a shit the NCAA came out and said they were arguing balls and strikes i don't care that seems to me to be like half a baseball's for yeah what what else am i supposed to argue yeah what are we what are we allowed to fight about like what are they going to do stand there it's all the all the baseball coach has to do is stand there otherwise but yeah we were arguing balls and strikes oh he hurt your feelings that's that what happened that it was shortly after this it was also coastal's um pitch calling

equipment malfunctioned um then ESPN flashed a graphic that said coastal's acting head coach was the recruiting coordinator which they left off part of his job title part of his job title his associate head coach but i just loved that it appeared as if a team was in a fucking title game being led by the equivalent of its general manager. Like, imagine the damn Eagles are being led by Howie Roseman during the game. Granted, that's a bad example because that is a bad example because that would go fine in that specific case. He's going to say, they'd be like, Nick, what, you booted out Nick and Howie's in charge now? That's fucking great, right, right.

That was the worst possible example because you look up in the Eagles are like, how they have 17 guys on the field. Howie's amazing. He pulled it off. He did it. how did how we how did how we draft and legally deploy a water buffalo at defensive tackle and you're like he's drafting during the game howie will you marry me sir hey it's not gay if i fuck howie it's not okay if i don't yeah it's gay if that's right i got to do what every fan's got to do you got to put out for the birds yeah that's it he enjoys the status that like

that's college baseball yeah but it did it did lead us back into the path of college football because in looking into whether or not this was an unprecedented event we discovered something that probably should have known but i guess uh it was 10 years ago and before this was policy you know we were all fairly new to this uh new to this beat but did you guys know that before i think with 2015 there was no like set parameter for ejecting a coach from a college football game we didn't have like penalty attached to it right right you had to fight right you had to bump an official like if you bumped an official you were gone if you fought with someone you might be gone although that was pretty discretionary based on a couple of historical examples we'll discuss or curiously enough you could be booted out for just just using tobacco. So you were just... There's no way they enforced that.

Yeah, like at one point... You would have lost a generation. At one point, we decided you couldn't do hookah on the sideline, right? You couldn't sit there like the caterpillar on the toadstool in Alice in Wonderland and just like smoke out on the sideline, right? So those were the three conditions prior to 2016 that really governed whether they were going to eject you as a head coat. this happened very very rarely and as a result of the ongoing refinement of on sportsmen like penalties and ejections uh in the like 2015

it basically to get legislated into existence because of targeting right i believe it was attached to targeting like if just if we're looking like i don't i haven't found anything that says that specifically but if we're looking at rule changes that are probably where they had to line this up yeah that was like the closest epoch? Looking back at the time, there is a lot of Will Mouschamp Gifts as explanation. I think he personally became too unsightly as a television presence. I also, right after this rule was enacted before the 2016 season, a bunch of us actually did.

We drafted which coach would be the first to get ejected under this rule. None of us were right. No. Spencer, you with the fifth pick, you had Jim Harbaugh, solid pick. And then again, with the 18th pick, you landed Mark Dantoneo, solid. I was picking fourth. I took Jim Mora, felt great about that one. And at 19th, I had Jim McElwain. First pick, Morgan took Brian Kelly, no fucking doubt. Bill C. took Butch Jones. Richard, of course, took must champ. Morgan should have worked. that was I mean it was no doubt in top seed Alex took Larry Fedora Ryan took Dana Hulgerson Floyd took Kiffin Bud took Brett Bilema Rubenstein took Mike Gundy and Godfrey

took Rich Rodriguez again solid choices across the board none of us were right though yeah that is because in the modern era we'll call the post 2016 the must champ rule where if you got two on sportsman likes you were gone which at the time this

makes sense because you remember in like 2015 that's must champ's uh year as auburn dc which is coming straight off of his florida stint yes yeah but i was everyone was very sick of seeing him lose it well up until his time at florida he had it was keep me honest here but if i remember at texas when he was designated for a while as max coach and waiting ha ha back when we were all pretending that was a thing that would ever work anywhere he had this uh He had this reputation, at least according to our photo tool, whenever you search for pictures of him, of when he was, you know, he was, he was a happy, he was a happy ruckus maker on the sidelines. And he would, you know, he would jump up and, and he's not a very tall man. He would jump up and hug players coming off the field like he was a clip on koala and just cling to them with all four limbs.

It's wonderful. Texas was also his whiteboard punching era Yeah I forgot about that So Maybe that Those internal voices won out over Happy stuff I think it was

What do you think Matt Brown and Will Must Champ talked about? Football Yeah that's it Yeah They didn't bud one inch off that They were like hey do you own a house And he's like oh crazy question Do you think they knew each other's like kids names

There's no chance right Yes Mac knew them because Mac does that thing where he just programs everybody in by a personnel file so that he can immediately cite as many people as... Okay. Because Mac is like, well, there's a greater than 0% chance that Will Mustjam's kids will go on to become football players I could potentially recruit someday. Yeah. Mac is one of those networking.

I can pay someone to recruit. Yeah, he's one of those networking guys who would be like, well, you know, that's Steve and that's his wife, Eadie, and he descended from Earl, who was, you know, of, of, you know, German descent, four generations, yeah. Type of guy who is always like, how's your husband, Carl? See, I remembered the name of Carl. At 1795 Garden Way, that's a lovely neighborhood. And zip code, 76, 4, 2, yeah.

Because I use name Carl, you think I'm nice and you like me. Correct, correct. The governor would never forget the names, even if he knew nothing about you. I actually go by my middle name. What? Yeah. Fires his entire staff. yeah so that never that we went five years without it happening we went quite a long time before

anybody actually touched that hot stove and we were all wrong because the first ejection the first ejection under the new rules it took a while it took it took forever yeah nobody really tried it like we kind of thought this was going to be you know at the time you know when with this rule going to effect we we kind of figured that like officials were going to be eager especially in certain conferences to make themselves even more part of the show. Turns out nobody wanted to do it.

Nope. I think nobody wanted to be first, honestly. Until a hero. A hero that I don't think... A solemn protector. I don't think any... A dork night. But definitely in this case, yeah.

Scott Leffler. Man, what a sleeper. What a fucking wild card. That rabid dog. God. Noted Wild Man. He went off his chain one too many times. Honestly, you're a loose fucking cannon, Scott Leffler. Post high school coach Scott Leffler, I might have had him on the board somewhere, but not first.

Every now and then, by the way, like, you know, somebody who writes, you know, little newsy blurbs really gets one off here. And I got to give a little bit credit here to Heather Dinnich's summary of this, which was this. First of all, Scott Leffler, when he got this, it was the third quarter of what would be a 56... What season was this? This is the 21 season. Okay, yeah, because it took years. Yes. And he was ejected in the third quarter of what would be a 5644 victory against Buffalo.

He got two on sportsman light penalties on back-to-back drives. Leffler fired up, full of Vim and Vintaguer. As is typical for him. Yeah, just the electricity of the Scott Leffler experience is best summarized by this quote. He can't turn it off. He's a VIM guy. He got on the mic and this is what he said, electrifying the Nashville Municipal Auditorium. It's a great learning experience for every single person that was involved.

I've got to do things better, but I also know exactly what was said and exactly what was done. As the leader and all that, I've got to be better. And he went on to add, I just got that fucking devil in me. They called the cobra And I rose up Hissin You summon the thunder You get the lightning

Alkin came down y'all sorry That's right So Running backs Coach Terry Malone Assumed play calling duties Okay Before this by the way

They had a 2823 lead Over Buffalo And at this point They were 0 and 4 in the Mac This is one sentence and I love it when writers do this. In 18 minutes after Leffler's ejection, Bowling Green scored more points than in any full game

over the last two seasons. I remember that. The restrict your plate is off. I'd be mad too, shit. I forgot. Because, like, you know, in baseball, people get ejected all the time. Like, people sometimes in baseball, they'll do things like, well, it was a good ejection.

They needed that, right? You got 162 games. It's almost like. a wrestling ejection like it's a very much part of the pageantry and it's it's a weird dichotomy if you're not a baseball person because even for as stodgy a media core as covers a lot of baseball and as as uh fussy as certain baseball communities still can be nobody gets nobody gets hand ringy over objections there right like it's 162 games sometimes um sometimes the manager has to commit, you know, temporary suicide in order to get everybody hype, right?

He's got to emulate himself. It's like any, you know, a card game, you discard a card to make another card more powerful, things of that nature, right? Like, Bobby Cox understood this well, often striding out to the center of the field and just pushing the button that would launch himself out of the stadium. You have to carnage yourself, is what you're saying? Yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah. Bobby Cox was sort of the Deadpool of 1990s baseball, I've often said,

killing him makes them twice as strong only card games I'm referring to not actual Deadpool who sucks I said it read it I said it deal with it I hate that and I hate instant pots deal with it

um yeah that's that baseball managers do that and we do things like oh man that was a good ejection I have heard that on a baseball broadcast I've heard that was a solid ejection right well timed well timed your worth gets averaged over 162 games football coaches are such control freaks and you have so few opportunities to demonstrate your managerial value then getting the boot excuses you from a serious portion of your on field like attendance it really does you get booted from a college game and you're taking out you know one out of 12 opportunities you have to do your job on the field right pardon me did you see that spencer and i just sneezed at the same time

That was fucked up. A number of miles apart. The coach, thank you, Kojuba for connecting us. You did it. Via the gigamete before we. The gigamete has a function. That was fucking weird, man.

We could, listen, we could pilot a kaiju together right now. I wish I had muted mine. Anyway, yeah, it's like, baseball coaches also, they don't actually do anything. Like, I'm sure there's some article that's like, no, really, they do, okay, fine. Sure, sure. No, they stand there in their cute little pants.

that's all they do so like when a baseball coach gets ejected it's a ceremonial thing look this pointless guy is gone yeah now we're mad when a football coach gets ejected like holy fuck we just lost 10% of our spreadsheet you know we just lost the guy who counts right we lost the guy we lost the guy who goes we lost the only guy who knows who the punter is right we lost the guy who gets the headset that all the voices go through which kind of matters we lost moon night you're saying right we Yeah, we lost the only guy who can function with, like, who can basically professionally get paid to have multiple personality disorder, right? The guy with all the stuff going on. Yeah.

But, like, you know, any, things happen in football. Lots of things happen. Things are going on. In baseball, it's the guy's going to go try to hit the ball. You don't have to tell him to do that. He's going to do that whether you're there or not. If you're not standing there, it doesn't make any difference. You don't actually matter.

The team will just be the team. And Coastal actually, they did fine. They performed well against the best baseball team. They had a spirited performance, and I was proud of our coastal teal chanteclures, our lost boys, unhelmed by any adults. But in football, there's just too much shit going on. Like, you're going to have the offense run out when the defense is on the field.

They're like, it'll be total mayhem. And now I'm talking myself into it. But now, but it can look bad no matter what happens because if you leave and we suddenly rattle off 28 points. sure yeah the restrictor plate is often i've identified you as that restrictor plate however what happens if you get kicked out and you just continue to suck because that was in 2021 lightning struck twice because in 2021 we had the second ejection ever which was beloved to this podcast and others the original guys being dudes guy steve adazio at colorado state

and the final game of the season got the boot. This one was special because the camera, the way the camera was set up at the stadium, they were able to follow him like down the sidelines and into the tunnel a little way for a game that doesn't usually rise to the level of needing a lot of spider cams or whatever. This was yeoman work.

And no one appeared to be all that worked up about it. Yes, yes, because, as they were... Am I talking about players? Am I talking about fans? Yes. Yeah. This was, by the way,

described as, by the Denver Post as, a new low for Colorado State. Yeah, right. That, it gets way lower. You got to account for altitude, I guess. They've all the way down to sea level.

Yes. But he didn't get the boot in the third quarter, by the way, like old Scott did. He got the boot in the second quarter. Were they already losing 28-0? Glad you asked. Yeah, they were already.

Yeah, he was ejected with Colorado State losing 28-0. I have a question about that because I hadn't really considered first half ejections before. And we were talking about this during the College World Series of their weekend. And I don't think anybody figured it out. But if you're ejected in the first quarter, or in the first half of the game and a college football game do you have to leave the stadium

like was he in the locker room was he not that it would have helped based on the rest of his tenure there but was Steve Adazio making locker room adjustments in there making halftime adjustments I think in like Laughler's case obviously he was because the team

performed so well so his brain power was still emanating out to them Adazio I mean he was like fired like the next day or whatever so He might have just kept fucking walking. The way that, if you watch the footage, the way it looks is like he might be walking to the parking lot. He's going to the tunnel with a man who doesn't look like he's about to take a turn. He looks like a civilian at that point, right?

Like, he doesn't look. You have been relieved of duty. Yeah, he looks like Obama on the beach the day after he left the White House. In surfing, Steve Adasio. Unconcerned. Damn, that's crazy. Yeah, he did do. a, he did do a press conference

after the game where he said we're this close to success. This, this close as in, I got to get out of here. Yeah, we're this close to success. I am this close to getting the fuck out of here. I am 36 feet the distance between this dais and my car. I can see the door. I can see the

light on the other side of me not being here. I'm close enough to my car that I can open the doors with this like key fob. That's how close I am. Did you hear it? Did you hear it? That's how close I am. That's it. That's it. That's the sound success.

As soon as you fuckers, stop asking me questions, I could finally not be Colorado State's head coach. Yeah, y'all go hire some slap dick like Mike Bobo. I'm out. Yeah. Now, there was a sad, God, it really was sad for a while. Yeah, again, Colorado State. Don't go throwing around new lows.

That's the most depressed-looking coach I've ever seen. Yeah, don't ever say you hit a new low. This is honestly, the reason I took them over in EA sports is like, damn, they just need, they just need some happy memories. I just need some love. Just give them something nice. ways. I'm going with FIU this year, by the way. Oh, nice. Oh, that's good. That's good. I haven't decided who I'm going to adopt at this point. I mean, I might just run it back with North Texas

because the haters are doubting. Yeah, well, I mean, the songs are just getting tighter and tighter. The performances are getting crisper. It really is. I like the way the band's playing right now, and we're just going to, we're going to explore new territory, right? New minors and fifths that we didn't even know we could play in. Yeah, like each album, you want to explore new subgenre. Yeah, we really do. We're going to go, we're going to surprise some people this year is what we're going to do. Yeah, you're going on emo core. I have plans and I cannot say. Okay. I just got to wait. Forget I said that, folks. Forget I said that. You're just going to have to wait for, you know, this new shit to drop because it's going to blow your mind. This was not

the last ejection under these rules because we went a couple of years. Of course, college football coaches when they see Steve Adazio get ejected they go hey this can happen to anyone if that fucking walking bullet of a man can get kicked out then surely yeah if they'll boot out that John Wick goon of a dude then they'll boot any one of us out that big brainless moron can get kicked out yeah they're going to come for me next you have to explain it slow to him you have to go waving him off like a cow go for it it's second down

he was not the final coach ejected under these rules the most recent one came in 2024 when of all people again if I was going to redo this draft I would just select randomly because there's very little

pattern to which one of these I would maybe look at calendars more than personalities or at least try to take the calendar more into account? Yes. Yeah. Circumstances dictate a lot of this because this coach, his team was

trailing 4121 at the half and then opened the third quarter with a good thing, a 93-yard kickoff return TD that was brought back by a holding penalty. This is the kind of thing where a coach who's already in that pressure cooker God fuck it

Yeah exactly Like something good Actually about that Ah shit Yeah So yeah Still heated He got an unsportsman like

Conduct penalty Arguing that And then After the first play Of the next drive He was still arguing And I know The ref had to love this right

He's like He's like Oh man he's still going Those are the good ones When it's like the It's like the production crew picks up on it and they're like we're more interested in this than the game let's let's come back to this if i hear harry lyle's going like yeah he's still heated i'm like keep the camera on him

keep the camera on him see harry making his way down from doing his job as as as a minister of mayonnaise to making his way to this is more interesting i'm going to stand by the coach just yeah stand right next to him i'm just yeah it's like man this boiler's making weird noises i'm going to stand next to it and see if something exciting happens uh yeah this is sunny dykes sunny dykes got booted out of a game against smu whom he used to coach for just in as a historical rival fortunately the rest of his year went fine uh these things do often seem to be harbingers these little moments uh got ejected after a what would end up being a 66 42 loss to yes rival SMU he got booted in the third, which

you know, hey man, if you're going to lose get booted in the third, I can just go chill the locker room. I'll see you guys after. Yeah, that's just beating traffic. Yeah, I'm going to head start on the shit. I wonder if the best time to get booted is like right before halftime, then you're just like, all right, y'all head on back. I'll just stay here.

This is the apology, but non-apology. Did Sonny engage in the apology, non-apology? You bet he did. Yeah. Dike said this in the press conference when I asked about the ejection apologize to our players and fans uh that should never happen was disappointed it happened thought it was maybe unwarranted comma but it happened that's my

responsibility to make sure that never happens so 100% my fault which is not what he said at all but i got to be better our team's got to play back there we go if you're a coach you can round the horn too oh we got to be better there you go it's about execution yeah and we will and we will play better so he is still as of where are we June 2025 he is the last coach who actually got a boot under the new rules governing unsportsmanlike conduct no one in our draft had a Dazio which is honestly surprising that's that you know we got to be better we get it's ultimately ultimately I think it's not warranted uh I think

Brian Kelly's surely done some shit Morgan should have won this shit but 12 times by now I'm certain of it but we just got to be better we're going to be better if you had to pick I'm going to give you one

I don't want to do like a full draft but like an updated yeah just one just take a flyer I work because sticking with Brian Kelly he was the top prospect at the time

and that remains the case that man will explode on the state I don't mean explode in anger that man will explode on the sideline one day okay that's a good one that's a good one holly do you have a do you have one you want to take on a flyer like do you mean like a current head coach current head coach

hmm come back to me let's go to server yeah server yeah server dabbo seems like he should I just want to put it out there in the universe for my only's gonna bless his way off the field he's just yeah i mean he's a real dick uh so like i just think it's bound to happen he yells a lot and he he's like on the field a lot like i just wonder if eventually somebody's gonna be like

you know what fuck this the originator of the get back coach does feel like a likely coach to find himself at midfield going into some sort of a uh ecstatic uh heightened state of anger i wanted to spend through the schedules but i'll i We'll take Narduzzi. Ooh, okay. That was my second thought, I think. So Clemson Pitt. Hmm.

I am going to take. You see the vision. Both coaches get ejected. They're going to fight in the parking lot. If both coaches get ejected, they should just go to the booth. You're going to go get a fucking drink. Clark Lee. I'm going to take Clark Lee.

Is this him channeling the hypeness of his quarterback? I think it would be this. I think it would be, if you want to talk about a guy who's under a unique kind of pressure, there are people who are successful and who have won 10 or 11 games, and for them, like, you know, Eli Drinkwitz, he knows, okay, I can weather a season, right? Like, good things have happened, and they will happen again. I'm an optimist, and I could do that. I don't think you can be that way at Vanderbilt.

I think that if you win seven games at Vandy, you're like, oh, the roof's going to cave in. And he's gotten a little taste of things being good. he's got a little taste of things being successful and they're largely the result of one player and um not entirely of his own doing so i imagine the psychology there is pretty fraught pretty tense so the minute things start to turn a little bit sideways in a game and maybe Diego pavia's injured maybe he's just not playing well um i suspect that's when things will boil over additionally he's the kind of person who i imagine when the lid comes off that thing he doesn't

have a lot of experience putting it back on. Brian Kelly, born with oven mitts on, right? That lid goes flying off of the pot of his anger. He's like, ah, again, I'm putting it back on. There ain't no lid. Yeah, there's no lid. Clark Lee did serve under Brian Kelly for a time, so he has experience operating around high pressure environments in the past.

Does this change your thought at all? No, it does not. Additionally, he's the kind of person for whom an official would be surprised to see him behaving like that? Everybody's got a book. Like, Brett Venables, don't pick Brett Venables. Don't say Brett Venables is going to get kicked out because Brent Venables has spent his entire career acting like a hyperactive four-year-old on a leash at the zoo. He is, it would not be surprising for him to act like that. An official will not notice it. They'll go, oh, that's, that's just what he does. He's over there gnawing on a yard marker

while some 350-pound strength coach pulls him back by his belt buckle. That's what he does. um they would not be weird if clark lee gets mad and officials gonna be like what the fuck are you okay do you have rabies what's going on so so and dave oranda freaks out the officials if davy randa freaked out they wouldn't wait till they give him two at once they would be like you gotta fucking go medic medic we need a medic active shooter yeah get the cops it's not right yeah so i'm gonna take uh i'm gonna take a flyer on clark lee it's good good choice this this does get to did we eject people before 2016 and i do not want to pretend that this is an encyclopedic review of the literature because i'm sure that like wafford's coach 1932 got kicked out for

calling someone a spaniard right like that dang i want to change my pick sorry that was a weird time to say that go ahead i feel like nardusi is too obvious and i would like to show some love to a less famous but no less beloved by this program program John Sumerall Wow

yeah like he's got I hate to profile but he's got that look you know that like Ricky Stenhouse junior look apologies to John Sumerall

who I don't want to associate with Ricky Stenhouse Jr. in any other way other than visible belligerence I'm looking at John Somerall and they're like, yeah, that's the guy who killed 128 Germans by himself at D-Day? Yeah, that's, that face could work. There's an anger there. So I like that. I mean, I just quickly Googled and one of the first things I see is a post, a Facebook post

entitled, John Somerall is absolutely fed up and he just let everyone know it. So sounds like we're on the right track here. Yeah. Did we, did we kick people out before 2016? We did. We did. We did. There were... I can't remember any famous ones. So... Oh, God. What did I just... What did I just step in? We wouldn't remember these because we were not around.

But there was only one coach that I could find on the record, getting the boot. And he did so multiple times. Wonderful. And against the same opponent both times. Also wonderful. Was he famous for his anger? Motherfucker, yes. Sure.

Why did he get fired again? So Woody Hayes of Ohio State. Ah. The master. Oh, dad's home. Who, I will say this, and it'll be the only thing I'm going to say to humanize Woody Hayes. Conditionally, in terms of what made him this way, he had a real problem regulating his blood sugar and never really. And because he was from our greatest generation, he fixed it himself.

And by that, I mean, he never fixed it. too much blood too yeah but he's like a tick blood too hot cool blood no

no not cool blood can't that's why he always wore short sleeves in the cold he was like ah I run it 180 degrees finally

now I'm just warm he didn't he didn't have cool lines and snowboarding like Chris Evans as the human torch to regulate his body temperature okay

he didn't have energy drinks and cool 90s vibes to keep him cool He did not have Metal Gear Red Bull. He did not have the gigamete to connect him with somebody else who could lower his blood, his blood temperature. So there, I've said the one thing that will humanize Woody Hayes, now we can just talk shit about what a lunatic he was.

He did get the boot twice, and he got the boot against Michigan both times. I can't believe it. Unbelievable. The first time that he got was probably the most spectacular ejection. And you're thinking to yourself, knowing what I know about Woody Hayes, that seems pretty unlikely. And this is where I have to remind you, Woody Hayes, did not get ejected for punching a player in the face. He did not get ejected for punching Charlie Baumann, in part because no one really saw it. happen. There was an unsportsman-like penalty. Did Woody Hayes, by the way, when in the Gator

Bowl, when he punched Charlie Bowman, did he also attack one of his own players? Yeah. He attacked one of his own players who was trying to act as peacemaker to break up the fight. And he went after one of his own players. You go, oh, it must have been like a punter or something. No, he went after one of his own big ass offensive linemen in trying to do this and had to be restrained by another coach in the process of doing this. So Woody did not get ejected for that. He got fired for that. He did not get ejected for that. He got ejected for the 1971 game where in response to what he believed was a blown pass interference call committed by a player on Michigan, Hayes began berating the referee, started cuss in a blue streak. And,

then went to the sideline markers and began tearing them up like, um, wait, this was the game, was this the game referred to in our music disasters episode by a listener who was in the band? And like a guy in the band got hit by Woody in the tunnel. Am I making that up? It's all part of, it's all one.

Because I remember him, I remember the story going on to say he was ripping up the down markers. That would be 1971. So yeah. that would be it because that's the only time I know of where we have I don't remember their name but we have a listener who was there um congratulations to them I don't actually remember which band they were playing for either but congratulations to this Ohio state and or Michigan marching band person yeah the star story was seeing red that makes that be listen it's it's a credit to Woody's legacy that I it's you give it a 50 50 shot whether he would punch a member of his own marching band or of Michigan's marching band if he was seeing red and in need of a Snickers bar, I think it wouldn't matter which band you were playing for. Or if you were even in a band. I want to see the, I want to see the Woody Hayes Snickers commercial where he eats the Snickers

and he just keeps punching people. He just turns into a stronger version of Woody Hays. You've only given him more energy. Please stop giving my grandpa Snickers bars. The tasers don't work anymore in the cops are scared. So Woody Hayes began tearing up the sideline markers. like a ironically like a

wolverine in captivity just tearing up his cage and then received a 15 yard on sportsman like penalty it's pretty spectacular right but still has been ejected Hayes then threw the penalty flag into the crowd

EC dub you can't penalize me I penalize all of you you're out of order continued to destroy the yard markers and then threw the first down marker into the ground like a javelin according to Wikipedia before being restrained by Buckeye's team officials this is to me by the way when they say being restrained by team officials it makes it sound like there was a containment crew yeah it makes it seem like there was a uniformed containment

like in the start of Jurassic Park when they've got that bot dude okay if you've got next team who's got a coach that has this particular aura hanging around him. I was trying to come up with a non-teen slang word. It didn't work. Should start like, you know, Mike the Tiger doesn't want to go to games anymore. LSU, if you want to put any shine on Brian Kelly whatsoever,

start wheeling him out onto the field in like a containment unit and then pull it up, you know, and smoke comes out and there's guys with tasers on poles surrounding it. Yeah. By the way, if I were LSU's head coach and I knew I was going to be fired, I too would do the Mike the Tiger excuse. I would be like, yeah, I don't want to go today. I don't want to get in the cage.

Brian Kelly just took the third down marker and threw it into Mike the Tigers enclosure, said we can go get it if we want it so bad. Brian Kelly is naked and lying in the habitat across the road. Batting at a ball, claiming he's very bored. Listen, he won't upset you if you don't upset him. Mm-hmm. Let's see if he chuffs at you. Yeah, so he was then given a second, after he was restrained by the Woody Hayes containment crew,

he was restrained, given an additional 15-yard penalty and ejected. Please consider the impact of a 30-yard penalty when you're operating 1971 offenses. That's like three years' worth of offense. I can't even see that far. Yeah, you can't throw, you can't kick the ball that far. far and he was suspended for one game and find a thousand dollars which that's like eight grand today so substantial chunk of change especially when you're not making you know modern coach money that's that's pretty funny it's still not as funny to me as the 1977 ejection by the way

michigan won that game 107 every i would be i would be loath yeah i would be remiss in my duties if i did not mention that yes that was in an ohio state loss he also got kicked out of another Ohio State loss, which was in 1977 when he was ejected after losing his shit on a blown holding penalty, I believe. And then when the cameraman began to track him, noticed it the cameraman started laughing at how mad haze was getting and then tried to attack the cameraman and then was ejected for that which is which is incredible there's nothing better than somebody who gets mad and then notices that you're getting mad and sees that you're laughing at them and it just gets funnier to you right yeah some people say he punched him

I don't think that's what happened. They put in the newspaper, the Woody A's got mad. But, yes. Well, not to do that. To be fair, he's always mad. Yeah, this was, if you want from Gordon White of the New York Times, this is amazing pros. Woody Hayes, who may never quite make it as a shining example of self-control. Real journalism, real shit.

had no regrets about his actions hours after he struck a television cameraman on the sidelines at Ann Arbor. Who wants a coach who's a pleasure to have in class besides Michigan? Okay. This was, I'm sorry, this was after a fumble. The Buckeyes fumbled, which again, please imagine for comedy's sake to put yourself in the cameraman's shoes. Imagine the apoplectic, pants shitting anger of Woody Hayes after somebody commits the Cardinal

sin in offensive football. of fumbling, right? Also, remember, he looks like Drew Carey, right? Pre-weight-lossed Drew Carey in short sleeves sitting there, and he gets mad and he starts shaking his little arms, right? Like, it's got to be the funniest thing you've ever seen. Like a T-Rex, this tracks. Right. Incredibly powerful. More great lines. After all, the mighty Ohio State coach, a leader of men and all that has struck out at other folks in the past.

yeah after after he fumbled uh in the 146 loss at michigan hayes said you get doggone tired of cameras being pushed in your face you're mad at your luck and the camera's in your face i'm fed up with it i make no apologies never has never will yeah we know yeah so uh yes that was this is followed up by Michigan did the important shoving and pushing Saturday. Football is a very silly game when you describe what happens. Yes. Yes. So there's our second instance of Woody Hayes attacking someone in the name of football. Just a, what a case, man. What a case. Consider,

by the way, the wide swath of the wide swath of behaviors that coaches have displayed over the years. Consider that Barry Switzer roamed the sidelines, probably with his dick out on national TV for all we know, like I'm just going to say that was happening. Consider all of the various psychopaths who have served as head coaches and their behavior. Consider that Will must champ prior to this and coaching a Florida team that he committed such grave and irrational sins against the sport of football as to be singular in their statistical profile like remember only two teams have like lost while allowing uh under 140 yards of offense and both of them were will must champ teams consider

all of that as a reality and he didn't get ejected only would he like what a what a talent yeah what a singular talent sometimes it's the ones you expect the most yeah it's just just just Woody over there getting mad about NAM. Just kidding. Wait. Mad in which direction? Mad that we gave up. Okay, here.

Thank you. Okay. Mad that they drove a good man like William Collie down for his actions in the name of the United States. That was literally Woody. Like we say Michigan has the war dads, but Woody was a war dad of a slightly different stripe. More the Genghis Khan kind of. ardent pro war dads yeah so yes that was this is the long train of thought i had in watching coastal carolina lose their shit and get two coaches booted in the bottom of the first inning in

an elimination game i think that might be what put me of a mind of sumroll because he looks like that recruiting coordinator whose name by the way is chad oxenine i knew i knew by the way you know when you go like man his turtles all the way down when they go okay so who's in charge for coastal now because you look at their head who looks like a ninja turtle their head coach is this like jacked hg hdh dad right and their first base coach

is an even larger hgh dad yeah like he looks he looks like stone cold and i think this they found who looks the most like our coach that's who's our new coach do you do you know i think they know why they picked this guy because i thought for a minute that there might be some like short king energy

and play between the umpire when I saw him talking to one of the players and that's when I went to the roster and realized that coastal starting pitcher in that game is 6-8 and built like Ryan Mallet RIP RIP buddy

yeah they flash over to Chad Oxendine and he looks like all of them he's just except the funniest part is he's wearing a batting helmet he's one of those you never know he might have to go in buddy

you might have to look alive one more tour of duty yeah I figured that was in case he like had occasion to charge into a melee might he needed it there was something about this man's

this man's composure on screen that made me feel like batting was the last thing on his mind when he put that helmet on yeah by the way every coach at coastal Carolina to look like part of their job interview was answering the question, hey, man, if it's Thursday,

what am I? And all of them are like, thirsty. Like, that's right. That's right. You're hired. Truly, you are very wise. Yeah, that's right. You're, listen, you're going to be just fine in Conway. That's what I like to hear. Yeah, it's like, what is this? That's a personal watercraft. You can't have this job. You can't. What is it? That's a jet ski. Welcome aboard. or if they said ski do that'd be fine if he's like hey that's a ski do you're like yeah you may ride our school mascot which is a chicken on a ski do complete the sentence yeah come on all right yeah come on also acceptable man yeah man yeah man yeah that's right you were at the quick trip oh yeah I'm ready for

this question yeah well it's funny you say that because yes I am in fact I am I'm where I'm calling you from for this job interview. You know me grab your hand full of rollers? Yeah. What you get? Yeah, I'm getting some talkies. Listen, he speaks to you. Brother, what the fuck ain't I getting?

Yeah. Misty, give me a pack of Marlboro Light 100 in the box. That's how you have to get this job. You've got to bring me them Marlboro 100s. Coach, I've gone to surprise you with this, but I just grabbed you a handful of auto tickets. Hey, that is so considerate. You know, we got to invest in this program.

That is the truth. Listen, if Coastal comes up in every single other area of the university, like they've come up in sports, cancer is going to be cured in 15 years. Oh, God. Probably on the back of a boat. That fucking baseball program, just give the Coastal Carolina baseball program energy to something of value in this world, and yeah, we're fine. I mean, there is a dipshoot who wants to go to Mars, but if I really want to go to Mars, I'm handing the money over the coastal.

I'm painting that shit deal if I wanted to get to Mars. I'm paying a huge rooster on the moon. Watch me do it. Our moon base is going to have a water slide. If I go to Mars, we can go to Myrtle. Yeah. God dang, what a bar. In case you were wondering, by the way, you go, hey, does the NFL ever boot out headcount? coaches. No. It's never happened. I thought they liked discipline. I thought they liked,

you got to be, you got to be basically have military levels of discipline, but they just let those boys run amuck up there. They do. They will find you afterwards, right? So like when Mike Tomlin trips a player during live action, doop-de-do. When that happens, you get a fine and you get like a pretty hefty fine. But they don't kick you out, which is hilarious to me. that like the same rationale that the owners will apply to their personalized right like yeah we don't go to jail we don't like i make too much money we don't go to jail but i'll write a check i'll occasionally write a check for my transgressions you know like here's 80 grand sorry about hitting that butler with my car it's actually impossible to look up matt brown's nephew because there is

a country singer with the same name but reversed who there's a country singer named jesse chris Oh, no. Which makes it very difficult to look up the, where is Chris Jesse? I did that on purpose. It was an SEO play. Made a famous singer. Just so my, just so my broke ass, dumbass relations wouldn't be famous for their mistakes. That's, by the way, that's Chris Jesse, daughter, son of X, all the way back, citing him to ancestry and his original country.

Yeah, they've never booted out an NFL coach. it just does not happen they operate with some sort of weird prosecutorial immunity no matter what happens also I figure like NFL coaches are just like yeah this isn't that important I'm not going to get that mad like what was the last time you saw an NFL coach mad

yeah I mean like uh the Raiders will hire me that's Jesus yeah I can always do like a year or two with the Browns it's fine the Cardinals still exist I guess probably no one knows

yeah probably we'll find out the season starts and all of a sudden they show up oh what the hell the Cardinals shall we engage

in a bit of podcast business so you know way of stopping you podcast business what's a business podcast business got some business

podcast business shooting at the sun because there's too goddamn hot air We're starting to do some business even though we're real hot. You know, we never, Serber, what's up with killer ants? We never start, we're going to start this way. Killer ants are in Tuscaloosa, Alabama, at Druid City Brewing Company this Saturday, June 28th with Haysop.

Tickets are still available but limited. You can come see us, and this is our last show of the summer, and then we're going to go make a record. America's next great record, the world's next best record. Yeah, man. Hell yeah, brother. If you are any fan base, but Michigan's, we encourage you to go to that. If you are Michigan adhered and in the Tuscaloosa area, we also encourage you to go to that. If you are of Michigan persuasion and are not in Alabama,

particularly if you are close to the Blue Hive itself, Channel 6 will be having our second annual Michigan won the charity bowl event celebration. You do need RSVP to this event. It is free. You can do that RSVPing at PisaWestern.com. This event will be at the Ann Arbor District Library downtown on the same day as the show. Doors open at 6 p.m. Event begins shortly thereafter. We will have guests.

We will have prizes. And then afterwards, we will decamp to a nearby location. Just hang out for the rest of the night. We did this last year. It was delightful. thank you to our buddies at Emgo blog for setting this up. They have, I'm going to say

a nice thing about them again because it's always true. They have, we're the first and biggest hive to jump on Charity Bowl fundraising way, way back in the day. The reason that they always come out ahead is because they planted this tree 19 years ago at this point.

Jesus. They also have a Kickstarter going for their new preview magazine. So you guys should go check that out you can find it at any of their social presences jason uh let's see here until saturday newsletter hell is the world without you the book vacation bible school the podcast you motion by kiley r jepson is uh 10th birthday was uh today as of recording uh 10th 10th anniversary plus one day as of you're listening what was that spencer sorry i was gonna say How far out am I from my appearance on vacation Bibles?

I was just about to talk to you about that because we're getting quite close. The listeners have been excited about this for five years. Yeah. Talk about, we should talk shit about bald guys. Yeah. Fuck you. You know what? It's hot and nobody's working except for us because we just keep going.

We're doing weirdly doing more work in June. I don't like that. I mean, I like it for the readers. We had a great interview last week. with Kevin Harlan to follow up ratings week, which is going to be followed this week by another outstanding interview. Spencer, this one requires a little bit of explanation. Do you want to tease out any of the project that we're starting over there? Yes, we're going to have a strength coach on call to fix your life, just like Woody Hayes had his own Woody Hayes retrieval

and containment unit. We're going to deploy a strength coach to fix your life because who who can really fix your life? That's right, a strength coach. Somebody's going to tell you how to be stronger, how to be better, how to go ahead and instill the good habits, right? The guy that we are working with here is Ryan Napley, who is the head strength coach at, oh, that's right, actual guy, North Dakota State University.

Those are some big boys. They're pretty good at football. There's some big boys there. Yes, we got you, the man who helps build all that corn-fed offensive line that still runs Wham, that still runs power, still runs trap. uh god's football the guy who is the architect behind their strength conditioning program is the guy who is going to be helping you and suggesting things like you know hey here's what you should lift here's how you should lift here's what you should do here's how you can do this on a realistic schedule are we going to give you that like like men's journal bullshit where they're like oh here's 38 different moves at like 10 reps a piece and if you do this you're going to look like bradley cooper an american sniper no because that's not how it works practical shit good shit general rules uh we're going to start that with a strength of fixes your life. Ryan Napoli, he's a cool guy.

Piece and shit. You should subscribe to it. Two things a week for the low price of $10 a month. If you're a subscriber, by the way, and you've got questions about this kind of shit, guess what? Oh, you're a subscriber. Be a benefit.

You can send it in and maybe we'll answer. And I believe that concludes. Podcast business. See, we never do that. but that time we did just like the sneeze before when we were powered by the gigamete pizza it's working it's working

you guys have drift compatibility I think so if the sea monsters attack off the shore myrtle beach then we got this they did make the sequel and it sucks but we should have been the ones

to make Atlantic Rim god damn Gulf Coast Rim there we go no that's actually Atlantic Rim It's shot in Pensacola. Like there are certain buildings. Okay, so we're going to get actual Atlantic. I want to shot in Galveston. Hey, hey, Chuck.

Chuck, where the monster's going, Chuck? Where the monsters going? Where the monsters going? Where the kaiju is going to defend us from the monsters, Chuck? Monsters think they're at the beach.