Shutdown Fullcast - Hit The Road, Mack

Episode Date: November 27, 2024

Emily "versus" Popeyes updateMack Brown, the unquietest quitterThe Haint is back, fyi, sorry bout thatSchedule game: Rivalry Week!It's spelled "hoarfrost"Fullcast theme song arranged and performed by Christian AshlockTickets for the Tuscaloosa Get Up 3 are on sale now: https://ci.ovationtix.com/36768/production/1216165Listen to Ryan's other, less harrowing show, We're Not All Like This, and check out his new narrative podcast with Steven Godfrey, Who Killed College Football? https://www.wkcfb.com/Check out Jason's free CFB Watch Grid newsletter and other work: https://www.jasonkirk.fyi/Find Holly and Spencer writing and chirping at https://channel-6.ghost.io/Purchase only the finest Fullcast gear at sunny https://preownedairboats.com/

Can I tell you some Popeyes news? Sure, please. So I mentioned on the show a week or two ago that the plan was to acquire a Popeye's turkey for Thanksgiving. They only went there the Monday, the day before, the makeshift Thanksgiving, and I was telling her like, this is awesome, this is going to be so good. No matter what happens, either we have Popeye's turkey or we have a Popeye's experience. So she goes in there and she's like, hey, I talked to some folks here into setting. aside a turkey for today and the manager's like you what um and she's pretty sure it's the same manager who uh who um originally set it aside and convened a council to uh to like write a name

on the turkey and set it somewhere um and this guy's like no no turkey uh please don't be mad um uh and like you know anyone who has ever um met or listened to emily knows she's not a get mad person she's this isn't she didn't go Karen mode quite the opposite um she goes She was more than prepared for Popeyes to Popeye the hell out of it. But yes, Popeyes has Popeyes did. The manager was like, we'll give me half-frize lunch. How about that? I'm not sure how I would react emotionally if a Popeye's employee told me, please, don't be mad.

That's like seeing my dad cry. Yeah, they're kind of the ones who can get away. Like, if you go to the, you know, fucking, I don't know, car dealer or dentist or any other line of work, and they're like, we fucked up, don't be mad. You know, then you're like, oh, fuck you, now I'm mad. But Popeyes, oh, it's okay, Popeyes. Poppies usually is like, please be mad. I'd love to see that. No, that's, yeah, it's like, what, whatever had transpired there to get that particular person to a please don't be mad state of mind, I'm not seeing a word.

You're having a worse day than me, clearly. Please. What are the, okay, Jason, you just named, you know, or like, it's just, uh, how this person is. like either way I don't want to increase their suffering sure wait Jason you just named two of them

what are the worst businesses to hear don't be mad at besides car dealerships and dentist NASA I was going to say the circus but yeah football referee we have an unusual ruling please don't be mad

trauma surgeon but no plastic surgeon There we go. So if you come to tattoo artist, yeah, you come to and they're like, all right, so here's the thing. Huh. The thing that happened was, I'd be like, fuck you, stop. Plastic surgeon saying don't be mad is basically the Joker's origin story. Mere.

So we're going to put you under again. You ever want your tattoo artist to just sit back and go, huh? I mean, look, we can. make fun of Popeyes, but surgeons are the ones who have to have somebody Sharpie which, like, leg to amputate. So, like, we're all a little Popeye's in some way.

Hell yeah. Welcome to the shutdown full cast. You are listening to the shutdown full cast. You are listening to the Internet's only college football podcast. I am Spencer Hall, joined as always by Ryan Annie, Jason Kirk. Holly Anderson and on the ones, Ant 2's Michael Cerber. We have one thing to discuss today. Everything else is gravy. But it's this. Y'all, Mac Brown literally now has a flight to catch.

He's got a flight to catch. Because he's been fired. He's been fired as the head coach of the North Carolina tar heels. What for? For saying that he was going to come. back. What an achievement. What an accomplishment that just last night, Mac Brown was saying, well, I'm not planning to retire. And that's right. He wasn't planning to retire. There was an ESPN front page sidebar last night with Mac Brown saying he had no plans to retire.

And I believe him. Yeah, it didn't seem like a plan. My favorite part about this is, do you remember when James Madison beat UNC scoring 70 points in the process? We all saw. And Mack had such a pout in the locker room that people thought he was quitting or something. And then he didn't, like, what a turbulent season for the man. In and out, says he's leaving, but he's staying, and then says he's staying, but he's leaving.

What event over the weekend could possibly have driven him to such a bold stance and his school return to such a bold retort? Well, he had to play Boston College. Don't do that. Oh! I found out by listening to the full cast after dark, which you guys did a great job on, by the way. You listened.

Yes, it was very informative. I received so much analysis on Boston College, North Carolina, and on the complete ass kicking that Bill O'Brien and his very formal chin delivered to the North Carolina tar heels. My question, by the way, was what happened in the interim between the massive 70 to 50 basketball loss to James Madison and last night that inspired any kind of real confidence on the part of Matt Brown because there was a slight recovery in there but not enough to me to indicate that anything had really been fixed

because the three game win streak that preceded the ass kicking by Boston College was really just a series of yeah you should have won that game because you're playing Virginia Florida State Wake Forest Yeah, but Florida State That's a preseason Top 10 team So That's true

So yeah Since Mac attempted To leave After giving up 70 points to JMU He went 3 and 4 That's an awesome season Three and 4 teams uh georgia tech and uh pit pit beat beat you it's always a little fraught not the pit's not good

but it never feels good to lose to them well pit's not good's not you disagree formerly seven and oh pit is not good formerly there was still seven and oh in my heart okay undefeated in my soul you were for a really long time they did he's also got a chance to uh finish at the very bottom of the tobacco. Nope, sorry, not the very bottom. They did be weak. This is, so last night, last night, Max says, I'm, I'm, I'm not retiring. I'm staying.

And then mere hours later, I imagine it happened like this. And he said, yeah, I'm not retiring. And Bubba Coneyham saw that the AD hit Carolina and just started dialing. Right. Like, I'm not retic. Dit. Let's go. Max still had his.

phone and airplane mode during the game like a responsible steward. Because he was catching a flight. And just hadn't turned alerts back on it. So he said not retiring. Leaving UNC, but no matter the avenue, is not retirement. So folks,

if you're out there in need of a football coach, can I recommend a... How old is this guy now? Yeah, 73. Just sprightly senior. Only 73? God. For $500, I have this Asuzu I mark. He started coaching in 1973.

He's been a head coach for 40 years. Mack, you've been at this shit for 51 years all total. It's okay to leave. Hey, Spencer, I got a question. So you said 40 years in coaching? Yeah. 40 years as a head coach, longer than that. Yeah, that sounds like, man, how many conference titles

did he win in that time? Dos. Huh. Duet. He's 40 years, two conference titles. The 2005 Big 12 title, that's the Vince Young year

when everybody owes Vince Young money. And the 2009 year when they play Nebraska in the Big 12 championship game and get a mysterious second back on the clock for a game winning field goal that Texas hits in order to get to the title game where they are mostly annihilated by Alabama.

Yeah, there's a little bit of a Garrett Gilbert comeback there. But yeah, two. So if you... I love to hear from new listeners of the show. Thank you. Yeah. If you employ Mack Brown, that man will guarantee a conference title every 20 years. You might also win an ACC.

coastal title. There is an like when I look at the career resume it reminds me of Howard Schnellenberger's where it's like

national title and then many many many years later another insignificant title like Schnelli's is like 1983 national title

and then like 2007 conference USA title and that's pretty much it that's no one if you go

man how do we sum up what a figure of a man Mac Brown is and I would say yeah because he has a lesson for all of us and it's this had he been old people are mean had he that's true had he resigned and he resigned then he would have received nothing from the university of north carolina however the two million plus buyout that he is due for being fired

check cashes baby no one no one in the history of the sport was more elite than getting the bag for less delivery You go, ah, what about... That's that, okay. No, no. This is a very bold claim. Charlie Weiss exists. Yes, but Charlie Weiss had to keep... Multiple Notre Dame coaches ahead of Mac in the queue.

I would, because this is, Mac would at least do this. Mac would give you nine wins. He might give you 10. Texas run is... That's trading effort for the bag. I just want the bag. Ryan Kelly is alive right now. Yeah, but how much of the bag do you want?

Jimbo gets the whole bag for nothing. Weiss just where... And, lest we forget, even before Jimbo got the bag for himself, what was he famous for? Getting the bag for his players. Staying in the walls as long as possible, embedding himself like a tick in the side of institutions. Living crabgrass. Okay, I have found something that I think is pretty helpful for Spencer's case here. I wanted to look back and figure out what was Mac Brown's buyout?

when he left Texas because he didn't he didn't get fired there he stepped down and it was called a mutual decision which we've seen before um he but they they decided they would pay him his former uh his former buyout that they would have they paid him his buyout as if he had been fired even though he got a 500 thousand dollar year job as in the athletic department so they still paid him $2.75 million to step down to not quit. But that's because you know who his attorney was at the time. That's my point. Who on earth was better at understanding the game than Matt Brown?

Jimbo, Jimbo was, Jimbo was just like, like, like the guy who stumbled over a solid chunk of gold, right? Just like, wow, tripped. Well, look at that. Like his agent came to him.

I'm sure both of them were like, are they stupid? Sign it. Sign the goddamn thing. Do it. That was Jimbo. Mac strategy. Advanced strategy. A long game.

The long game. Because Mac Brown at every point understood that you had to tap dance for the media and the boosters. What better way to get the boosters on your side than to make the biggest booster at the school at the time, your personal attorney. Is that a conflict of interest? I'm sorry, I heard something in the garage. Gotta go check on it. I'll answer that question when I come back.

Yeah, employed Joe Jamail as his personal attorney at the University of Texas when the dude's name was on the field. Ball noer, strategist. All right? Every time Texas lost, Every time Texas lost or every time the playoff came out Who did you see on ESPN going I just think we have a resume that you know

You need to understand I think Cal's a piece of shit West Coast nonsense team That happened young folks that happened Can I tell you what Mac Brown's greatest call is No can I tell you what his greatest game was In terms of management What offensive style does he implement Yeah exactly what gutsy call did Mac make

None do you know where Mac's greatest moves are they're in the press conference on camera and on paper that man was a governor a governor who managed to secure as much bag as possible for a semi honest payout you were going to get good football teams that were struck with talent it's the olive garden strategy it's like we'll give you bread sticks and soup and you'll never be that mad at me i think my single favorite mac brown moment was near the end of his uh texas tenure when uh all the all the all the all the good vibe fumes were running out Longhorn Network they'd lost the tape briefly of the 2005 title game or whatever so everyone was in a pretty bad mood it was clear Mac was about gone and he like went on a

recruiting trip just decided like yeah this is what I do I'm Mac Brown I go out and I watch Friday night high school football and he's standing and he looks so out of place like very clearly has not been doing this just standing there on the sideline at the high school game and then they're asking him like coach wait

why are you doing this he's oh I'm just busting my tail trying to recruit these kids to Texas. Like, no, you just want to be photographed working. That's all everyone knows. Yeah. I heard they had funnel cake, but I was disappointed when I arrived. That was not the case. Look, I've clocked in for this.

It's like, it's like very much like teenager trying to keep their part-time job. Like, no, I bang some pots and pans so you knew I was in the washroom. Here's my briefcase full of jelly beans. As you can see, that mannequin in my office has been there. all day. Can I, just another reminder. Ken McAllister's

motion offense was an inspiration to me. Yeah. I just came down here to the state of Arkansas to learn more about how to get this Longhorn's

offense cranking next year. A guy who got the job at North Carolina twice despite never winning a conference for the conference title. A division. He won a division.

He did win a division. But that was in the second time. Was it the hard division? It was the fun division. There we go. That sounds good. That's a good sound. I would say it was hard in a cosmic way. It was hard to bear.

It was like putting on the glove with the infinity stones, right, putting on the gauntlet. Right. You are absolutely right. It's like watching a three-year-old for a weekend is it hard, but it's hard. Do you know what I mean? What superpowers do you have? I can order Mexican through DoorDash with my mind. It's pretty good.

That would actually be really really. good. That's the space stone, I think. Speaking of dinner, I didn't want to bring everybody down, but I just wanted to pause and take a moment to think about the real victims here, by which I mean, Matt

Brown is going to be home for Thanksgiving this week with nothing to do. You know, do you have any idea how up in everyone's kitchen business that man is going to be? None of his female relatives. are going to help with these yams.

None of his female relatives are going to be speaking to him after this weekend. None. None. You know that man thinks he can make pie crust. Just give him a very cheap cut of meat. Just walk around putting peas and everything. Just like putting, Spencer, this is going to make your family's butter

incident with like a PTA cake walk. Okay. Get him the cheapest cut of meat you can find. Stand him at a grill with the propane disconnected and just leave him there. I know I'm and put out to pasture, Brian. Don't put me on the cold.

Don't put me on the fake grill. I'm just out here busting my ass on this smoker for 18 straight hours. That's how long it takes. Get it nice and rare. His son-in-law stumbles in and knocks it over.

Well, that's fucking Chris. If you'll remember, by the way, that's Chris Jesse. Yeah. For everyone... Jesse? Even if you don't remember, let's all recall it together.

When they when they were down 21-0-0 Arizona State gets the ball and Rudy Carpenter gets the shit knocked out of him by Roderick Muckleroy all-time name

and the ball flies toward the long horn sideline and who reaches out to pick it up a live ball that's right Matt Brown stepson yeah on TV just out there

picking it up do you think UNC did this because they're like we have a direction we want to go with Or do you think they realize, like, oh, we're trapped in the Mac Brown vortex where we'll always win six games, but we'll very rarely win more than eight. And that's like a terror, it's being stuck at an airport food court where it's like, yeah, there's food here. I don't want to eat most of it.

I want to go home. Well, you know what you do at an airport food court is you go to catch a flight. I, can I tell you how much I love what UNC did? you've seen it in so many other cases where a coach's chip has greatly greatly the amount of dip on said chip has exceeded the tensile strength capacity of said chip right chip capacity is at an all time low yeah and and it's only going to get more fragile you know who coach is at UNC right I believe that would be Chip Lindsay so oh mm-hmm see the signs yeah see the signs see the glory this was an AD cutting that shit off immediately. No succession drama. No will he won't he. No deference to authority, right?

Like the king was like, oh, no, no, maybe I'll take another year. Stab! Bam! Immediate pistol out smoking everyone's like, so that's what we're doing. Saw the Joe Aleva playbook and said, no, thank you.

Yeah, yeah. No like, oh, maybe Stalin will start a, another purge. Nope, nope, just gun them down, get him out, shove him,

throw him out the door, done. It's cold, but it's absolutely what needs to happen because if you have an old coach who thinks they have it,

still have it, when they very clearly do not, and would like you to defer to authority, the first thing you should do is throw them over the rail. Immediately, like, thank you,

here's two mill, whatever, bye, done. That being, being gunned down and shoved out the door, we mean this in the literal

sense. Until that is, gets home and tries to interfere with the stuffing. Do you see him, Holly, turning everyone. I don't know how many women in his family, but I don't know how many women Mack has in his family, but they're in for a week. I see him turning everyone in the kitchen against each other so that he can have control, right?

No, they know his tricks. Yes, but he's going to try it. I'll be like, Diane, I've always believed in your mashed potatoes, but I mean, I know others haven't, but, you know, I have real things. No, he's just going to be standing in the corner, nagging and pretending not to see anybody wearing red. I would like to point out one flaw in Mac Brown's bag getting. I want to take you back to about this time, a couple weeks earlier than that, in 2022. After the weekend of November 12th, where UNC barely beat Wake Forest, that might

have been an okay Wake Forest, as I recall, I'm not 100% sure. Their record stood at 9 and 1. The one loss was to Notre Dame, perfectly acceptable. Was there some mess in here? Yeah, that's the year they had to be App State 63-61, barely be to Miami team that was not what it is today. But still, nine and one. And I think the error I'm looking at is

that's when unnecessary extension has to come. That's when buyout has to balloon from what is now $2 million and change to $8 million. It has to be like, Look at the momentum. Look at the surging momentum of Riosys, charging forward to destroy his opponents with his head. That's where you have to turn. You have to get your agent at that point to say, like, yeah, obviously, we all love this relationship.

We want it to be more locked in, right? And the failure to do that, I think, is inexcusable at this point. Yeah, he, like, in terms of the bag, by the way, after that last conference title, we're looking at around, you know, $30 million in terms of like payment and buyout that he managed to get out of Texas. So some quality bag getting

after your last after your last conference title. I think he's got one more job in him. I think he's got one more. Yeah. Where we send it to them? The Giants. The Cowboys.

He's familiar with the state of Texas. Holly, you nailed it. He knows the area. The Cowboys are going even more dramatic. I think the most confusing job you could give it would be Mac Brown still doing his Mac Brown voice for the Chicago Bears. I think that would really throw people. Howdy. The fuck is this guy.

Here in the great state of Chicago. That's not a hot dog as I understand the term. That's a salad. Oh. Then we might get our dream. We might, man, how many times have we enacted this on the show with Mac Brown? There's a better than even chance that Mac Brown, in full Peggy Hill voice, has to pronounce the words Patrick Mahomes on television.

Mahomais. Ola. Ola. Ola, Patrick. So I just, I don't see, it doesn't seem like it's out who the interim will be. Gene Chisick was on that staff, and he just keeps coming back to it. So I don't know. I'm sure he hasn't gone all that far.

But the current most qualified person on that staff would be Jeff Collins, former Georgia Tech head coach. The Freddie Kitchens disrespect that's happening right now. Another great idea. All for that one as well. This is why you assemble former head coaches, right? In case one of them needs to replace. God, Dan Eno's.

in there somewhere, is he? Where is Dan? That's the thing. Every time I lose track of him, I get a little bit nervous. Florida was the last place I saw. Like he's going to pop up on my team? He is an analyst at Florida, just like everyone else. I was going to say, you didn't know that Daninos was still in Florida?

He's the reason. He's the reason for the turnaround. He's right behind you. He's the secret sauce. The reason for the season. I'm going to read you one quote from Mack Brown's history. and I want you to identify. He wrote a history book?

Yeah, I was going to say, this makes it sound like he's some Roman philosopher, but please. Well, oh, no, there's a Roman philosopher involved, and he's the guy saying this. A real deep thinker. This is a quote from about Mac Brown's lobbying in the media. I thought it was a little classless how Coach Brown was begging for votes. I forgot. Kids, coaches used to have to tap dance on television. to get their team

into what we call the bowl championship series are we not is that's going to happen again though isn't it with the top team playoff okay so it'll happen fortunately with an expanded playoff we've left us behind it'll continue to happen

and like it will you know like sway public opinion and like the SEC you'll cry if they only have 11 teams in it and the Big Ten will do the same and they'll eventually say like fine half the Big Ten mix play ever you know like so it'll have this like um glacial effect on the system but like kids back in those days literally the AP poll was part of the BCS formula for a while so like it could have an instant impact urban Meyer pulled this off in 2008 or six one of the two but uh yeah I just want to have a chat with this computer

that's all he seems like a nice fella I'm sure I can reach him he's a bit newfangled walks up to the computer and goes I've always believed in you not like that Aerox machine over there. Heck, I went in there and pissed on that computer and then it spat out Texas number one. Couldn't help but agree with it. Yeah, this, uh, what player, by the way, said that about Mac Brown? There was a player at the time. Aaron Rogers.

Sir, I said we were dealing with a Roman philosopher and we were. You are correct. That was Aaron Rogers. This is the moment that broke him. Nothing's been the same ever since. The system is a lie. I'll start looking for other answers. alternative

alternative medicines for my football disease I turned away from my family because Mac Brown was mean to my team

on the TV yes so in case you doubt that Aaron Rogers at one point was evidence based he did say

I think a team's record and the way you play should speak for itself and when it comes to the New York Jets I agree

100% I just need a few other Aaron Rogers dudes Joe Rogan It's a slot receiver. How tall is he?

Rogan? Yeah. It's like 5.1. Not. He's not 5.11 energy. It's 5.8 says Wikipedia. So, 5.5. He's a real bullet of a slot receiver.

He's got real overstuffed Darren Sproles qualities to him. Why is your slot receiver just kicking the shit out of the DB? That's like, like, shutdown fullback is brought to you by the Joe Rogan Relish tray. He's like the colossus throwing wolverine of fullbacks. Yeah.

What did he test positive for? Everything. Everything. Yes. This just says yes. Yes. It's a big, I have a big piece of red paper that just says yes on it.

This CVS receipt that is being spat out of the toxicology report just says, that's crazy, man. That's crazy. Whoa. Whoa. They found the gourd. They found the gourd. It was in my tummy.

Yeah. Have we ever talked about Joe Rogan's time on news radio? I think, did we do talk about it when we did the news radio draft that was part of the color draft that one time? As a first time listener to the show, I had forgotten about that. Yes, thank you. I had also forgotten about Spencer singing the news radio intro and the Mortal Kombat theme. That's true. all I want.

I want the complete news radio cast as the lyrics to the Mortal Kombat song. That's all. What about the Pokemon song? I can do that too. You know you want to do the voice. Mor attorney. Andy Dick. This radio!

Du-d-d-do-do-do-do-do-do-do-do-to-do-to-do-tto-l. Lukang. Joe Logan. This is, this is my first. favorite this is this is by the way exactly how i wanted mac to go it's not like we it's not like we hate mac but like you got to understand if you've had anybody covering mac mac can be an absolute bitch sure can be a like a nasty church biddy like somebody who like like Phil fulmer thinks it's a bit much yeah like 100% levels of biddy them 100% somebody who is like they

ranked texas second one time in 2008 and i took that personally and then i banned them from the bank sale that guy we know a former longhorn network reporter who first day at the network went to see texas practice and walked into the room and you know walked up to mac brown and held out their hand and mac brown looked at them and walked away and they were told by an aid of some sort that they had to remove their red scarf before mac would talk to them and this was a thing like a capital tea thing. I'm technically a Toro, so it'll drive me insane. Yeah, that guy, that guy.

So you don't want to get gored by Mac Brown, do you? Call me Ferdinand. Ferdinand was nice. Holly, what does this mean, though, for Mac Brown coaching energy vampire? Do you think this decreases or increases his opportunities? I'm really glad you asked, because we don't know, as we mentioned earlier, what is to become of him during a possible bowl game. We do know that he is going to finish out the season against NC State.

So he's got one more chance on the field to Tommy knocker up Dave Doran. You know what I'm doing if I'm Dave Doran? That sounds romantic. Post game. Mac walks up to me, arms extended, ready to juice me clean. And I just, I just smacked away with. You made this sound worse than I did. I just smack, if I'm Dave Dorn, I smack him as hard as I can and sprint away.

Back, you devil. Dave might do that. All you need is like a former Panthers wide receiver to talk shit before the game, and Dave will be keyed up to. I always forget that about it. And like, NC Stain has had a very meh season. Like, if there was one way to fire up Wolfpack fans, smacking his shit out of smack round during his last U.N.

It would really be it. That would list like an open-handed pop. NC State, the team that always goes eight and four goes five and seven, right? Say they lose the UNC on Saturday. And the crowd is like, what the fuck, man? We're supposed to always go eight and four. This sucks. Yeah.

And then Dave Doran puts Mack Brown in a headlock, takes off running. He says, give back our juice. Hits him with the British Bulldog right there on the 50-yard line. He's got him in an omplata. Yeah. He's hurt, Joe. Dave, let him go. He was fired.

This son of a bitch! He said he's not retired. Not like this. I'm going to retire. You'll see. He's already retired, Dave. This is for Claussen. I'm going to squeeze you till every bit of Dave Clausen's essence comes back out.

Dave doesn't have this accent. What's it? I don't know. it's happened and he wouldn't say it but do you know who would be watching that and laughing until he cried would be manny dyes manny um manny got to laugh pretty hard already this season oh yeah the 21 20 victory over unc man what a this is an interesting tour this uh this season of of coaches who mac has really done wrong in his midfield his midfield clutch

he has Mac Brown also his brother Watson this is my favorite fact that Watson First of all Watson Yeah his brother Who also coached

He was the coach at Vandy for a long time And a zillion other places Watson Brown That's an apothecary Is he older or younger? Because there is Watson He's got to be older He's older

Okay I don't understand the math on that, but I'm right. Watson has the most extraordinary accomplishment of any living coach, and it's that Watson Brown has the most losses of any coach. He has 211 of them. That man has lost 200. Ohio State fans like, no-uh.

Between him and Mac, it's like the portrait of Dorian Gray, if Dorian Gray was a six and a half. Well, I'm glad you said that because we did the math prior to this to see if what would happen when we combined their records. Oh, God. Yeah. And I thought, please add up to 500. Sure.

It does not. It adds up to 424 wins and 365 losses and two ties because that's how long they've been coaching. You can make a year-round advent calendar for Mac Brown loss if you were super mean and crafty. Yes. In September, we have all of Mac Brown's losses at Texas to BYU, all 35 of them. This month has 35 days. Why? That's how many times he lost to BYU.

when he was a Texas. God, his ass beat so bad they made a tesseract. Don't eat breakfast or lunch before these. They're beefy boys. They're going to hurt coming out. Tesseract. Tesseract. I think this is the most depressing bowl game I can come up with here.

Oh. The pinstripe bowl. Good start, right? I've already seen this rumor to be Michigan Pitt, so please go ahead. We're keeping the Michigan part. We're keeping the Michigan part. Pitt? No, they would make it fun.

Pets a great time. We're putting Mac Brown's UNC in there. Yikes. Man. That's where he decides like, no, thank you. I've decided not to coach them all. I have decided to retire after all. I will be taking a gift bag.

Because Max's leaving with something. Max always seen it with something. If there is a bagel ceremony before the game, I will be present for that. I do love a chafing dish. You know who I hope shows up. after all this, after the smoke clear his hair. Out, Will Mustchamp shows up. Coaching waiting paper still in hand.

Clumsily scrawled over. He's still got the briefcase. Nicest guy. By right of dispute, he does have access to this job. He only needs to best him in combat. So when Doran has Mack in the Camel Clutch, that's when Mustchamp runs in. Now's my chance. Like some ancient Pope's illegitimate son.

I think he has to defeat Doran, rescue Mac, and then say, remember our deal. Talk about money in the bank. Loser Leaves Town way ahead of you. Respect to a man who understood business. podcast business what's the business podcast business it's the business podcast business mac brown got the bag and so could you if you support us with the podcast business a buck at the can we start with two two live events that we should mention two two live two live two uh you want do good news or bad news first bad news okay bad news what would mac do we're doing we're doing

a live show with split zone duo in January Atlanta at Monday Night Brewing Garage No, thank you. Why are we announcing this? To remind people that that show is sold out. So that's the good news. If you're not in line to go, you don't have to.

If you haven't given us money, then you don't have to go. That's right. You've been released from, you've been released from the obligation. Yes, Holly. Does that include us? It includes the first person to say not it. How many of us would have to be there for it to still be a full cast show?

Yeah, what's a quorum? So three, we can get away with? Okay, can I give you my honest answer? I mean, two is shut down half cast. I think if it's everyone except Spencer that counts, or if it's Spencer just by himself that counts. But any combination of two doesn't work. Because I think you can make it sense of it in either way. If it's just Holly, Jason, and myself, you can say, oh, Spencer is wandering an airport

somewhere. And if it's just Spencer, you can say, oh, Spencer missed his flight. This show wasn't supposed to happen today. Spencer tried to leave. I see the vision. I tried to catch a flight. But any version where only one of us was responsible enough to be there and Spencer doesn't make any sense at all. That doesn't, that doesn't work. So you think there's no combo of two that we

could get away with. I think you could do Spencer and Jason, but then technically you're talking about shut down full back. And I think you could do Spencer and Holly, but then that's technically Channel 6. Spencer and Ryan. Spencer and Ryan is an alumni meeting. We now convene the governing board for the 11th school of law at the University of Florida. Did you all graduate? Yes. Okay. Just check it. Ryan, that was not for you, obviously, sorry. Yeah, so I think that's the limitation. However, if you're like, oh, no, but I have ticket money in my budget to spend.

I want to go somewhere. I want to go somewhere. Ryan, can I offer one more scenario that's Spencerless? Of course, sure. I think if it's Cerber and none of the rest of us, you'd be like, oh, they all fucked up. Yes, if it's Cerber and Doug, you've actually arrived at the greatest forecast of all time. Why didn't they do this the whole time? Why are they talking about cycling?

This is great. Yeah, it's incredible. But if you have ticket money that you want to spend, Holly, do you have any thoughts for our listeners on where they might be able to attend a joyful live event and support a small business in the same stroke? Segway! Hey, folks, what are you doing December 18th at 7 p.m? Anybody? Anybody? Anybody?

No. December 18th. at 7 p.m. What even day of the week is that? I think it's a Wednesday. Yes, it's a Wednesday. It's a Wednesday. You ain't got shit to do on a Wednesday. There are two bowl games competing with you. They're the Boca Raton Bowl and the Art of Sport LA Bowl hosted by Gronk. Throw them out. You don't need either of those. Or in between those alternatively, if you wanted a little bit of, a little bit of humanity in between Boca Raton and Inglewood

traveling mentally between those two spots. At 7 p.m. at the Bama Theater, the Tuscaloosa get-up three in support of Druid City Brewing, who are longtime friends of the program, longtime friends of ours.

Short and intimate sets will be played from, here's some names you've probably heard of, Brittany Howard, Mike Lee, Lee Baines, the third, Wanda, Jameson Hubbard, tickets are available now. We'll put a link to it at pre-owned Airboats, right? Yeah, we're going to put up a link to it at pre-owned Airboats.com because the link to it is very long and weird. Pre-ound Airboats, your event's destination for everything you could need. Is your cousin getting married? Check pre-ownedairboats.com to find out if or where.

Listen, Wanda and Brittany Howard on one stage, Lee Baines, Mike Cooley, James Snobbard, I, listen, if you care about independent music, if you care about bringing independent music to Alabama, if you love a special venue like the Bama Theater, I cannot encourage you enough to get down there. We have not finalized our own plans yet because it's the holidays and there's kids and bull games and whatnot. least a couple of us are going to try and get down there for this. But again, this is in support of the Druid City Brewing Company and our friends and employees there. Let us help them keep their doors open. Let us help them keep their lights on. They're facing a landlord-squeez situation, and we are trying to help. You can also support them if you can't be there but want to help out via Venmo at Tuscaloosa Get Up

all one word. But again, we will put up some links to this at pre-owned airboats. And for once, we will actually remember to tweet out and skeed out the links on socials. Thank you, friends. Homefield apparel! Listen, normally, this is the part... She said desperately. Normally, this is the part where we tell you about offer code fullcast, blah, blah, blah.

We're throwing that out the window as well. Because we are in the middle of Homefield's Black Friday, which lasts until until or through never clear to me December 3rd the most ambitious sale to date on homefield 30% off site wide Spencer more than our offer code that's right Spencer name something homefield could sell you they could sell me all the Florida care they want 30% off all of it oh my god Spencer you're wearing a homefield hoodie right now what is it this is a North Carolina A&T hoodie 30% off I'm wearing I'm wearing a home field hat right now.

I'm wearing a Hawaii Rainbow Warriors hat. 30% off. Jason, name a home field thing. I'm wearing a North Florida Ospreys shirt. 30% off. I didn't know they had North Florida. Excellent. All of it.

All of it, 30% off right now. When you use code BFCM-2-4. Oh, that's complicated. B-F-C-M-24. All right, we'll do our best. It stands for it. Black Friday, Coach Meck. 24.

They do. How do? How do you? How do it? Won't they do it? I've got a little, I got, I wet my beak, so to speak. Homefield's 30% off and Mac is 100% off. Let me tell you what. I'm a poet. On the case of why this rhubarb pie is so watery.

You call it a dismissal. I call it unlimited PTO, motherfucker. I've always believed in you. Homefield. Not like those other apparel companies that don't. Homefield does not sell tap shoes at this time. I forgive them. That's on my vision board. Spencer,

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And be like I'm bawling hard to sell Bill Barnwell I don't think that's true Look at this Yeah you can do that He's friendly Love strangers coming up to it on the internet. Bill, I'm sorry about this.

Sorry about that. Don't fucking do that. Don't be sorry. Don't be sorry. His trigger finger needs to practice. Yeah. Leave Bill alone. Yeah.

He already has you blocked. On Venpo, no less. That does not reflect poorly upon Bill. He has to reflect on you. He has to talk about the Jets every week. You've been judged and you've been found lacking. Yeah, seriously.

He does have to talk about. That man has had to come up with sentence after. He said to think, talk and write about the New York Jets. Leave Bill alone. And the Jaguars and the Cleveland Browns. Y' Come on, man. This man digs through rivers of shit for you, and this is how you pay him.

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for a special Thanksgiving edition of our weekly game, more or less, sponsored by prize picks. I have gone through

the record books of a handful of lightly themed schools and one bowl game. Is one of these schools, Rice? One of these?

Oh, man, that would have been good. I'm so disappointed in myself. Shit! Shit. Let's just say that's a different holiday.

With the knowledge that this game is not as good as it could have been, I'm sorry. I'm so disappointed. Just call it a, it's a New Year's thing. I feel bad when it's Ryan. Let's start, well, let's start with Turkey. I'm sorry, I have emotionally derailed you and I don't. No, it's okay. It's okay.

I'm going to get back in the zone. Let's start with Turkey from the Virginia Tech record book. Holly, this question goes to you. Sir. Who has more career touchdown passes for the Hokies? Michael Vick or Marcus Vick? Marcus Vick. The answer is Michael Vick by one.

Michael Vick has 20 career passes. You knew I was going to go for the Okie Jokees. You little salt puppet. I'm not sorry for how I made you sad a minute ago. I know, I know, I know, I know. Not even a little bit I'm going to add a little sidebar here My favorite Virginia Tech piece of trivia

Where does Michael Vick stand On the all-time single-season rushing T-Ds? I don't know if this is still true Because I know this was true a while ago But I know I think he was second for a while Not number one Do you remember who is second two? Bruce Bruce Arias

Interesting 11 TVs Not many people remember the time when you could play in a cangle instead of a football helmet. But we sure did. Made them lighter. It's just that aerodynamic.

Yeah. All right. Jason, would you like potatoes, green beans, or corn? Potatoes, of course. All right. This is a Boise State question. Who has more rushing yards in a single season for Boise State?

J. Ajai or Ashton Gentie? Ooh. Rushing yards in a single season? Rushing yards in a single season. It's Ashton. It is Ashton Genty. So just set the record like two or three weeks ago. Like two weeks ago.

Yes. He has 2,062 yards this season. J.J. I had the previous season high with 1,823. Spencer, green beans or corn? Green beans. All right. This is not a question about the North Texas mean green.

This is instead a question about Tulane, the green wave. who won more games at Tulane Mac Brown or his former offensive coordinator at Texas Greg Davis Wow That's a name I've not heard in a long time

I want to be clear I formulated this question Before Mac Brown got fired at U and C Where is he I think he's just out I think he's not he was last spotted at Iowa Yeah And that was a while ago not for

but I'm sorry to do this is not just highlight in stark relief the utter unfireability of Kirk Ferrence that's fair yeah

that's fair like man Spencer more wins as a head coach at Tulane Mack Brown

or Greg Davis I was trying to think of how long Mac was there and versus how long I think Greg I'll tell you how many seasons

they each had if you want. That'll be good, yeah. Mac Brown was there for three seasons. Greg Davis for four. I'm going to go Greg Davis. You are correct. Greg Davis, 14 and 31 at Tulane. Mac Brown 11 and 23. Hey, uh, Watson was like, that's awesome. You do great. Uh, Holly, I'm going to give you corn and then we're going to save dessert for, uh, server. I bet you are. Yeah, corn. Hi, Nora. Is she there the whole time? No. She just popped in for corn?

That's awesome. No, is the way that she popped up like made me think that she'd just been there? Thanksgiving break is the worst. I want to be very bad. Ryan, is she a fan of the band? She's about to be. Hey, Nora, come back in here.

We've got to teach you some words. Send her a copy of Life's Peachie. You're welcome. All right. Norah, can we teach Hank to do the Uwah? You can probably do that. Do that. Do that.

Holly, who has more career interceptions for the Iowa Hawkeyes? Bob Stoops or Mike Stoops? This is a spectacular question, and I'm so proud of you. You know what, let's say Mike. Let's let's let Mike have something. That is correct. Mike Stoops, nine interceptions for Iowa. Bob Stoops, who is listed in the Iowa record book to this day as Bobby Stoops.

Bobby Eat dinner sessions All right, server I'm Bob stoops for a little partner pancake server The dessert round is for you This is a question about the sugar bowl

For our sweet server Who has more Who has more sugar bowl wins Georgia Tech Where the Florida gators Oh boy the Florida Gators Florida is three and six in the Sugar Bowl

Georgia Tech a sparkling four and oh Wow wow It's sweet they make the honey The honey yeah that's right Natural that's what you call schematic advantage Yep yep yep And that concludes Thanksgiving edition of more or less

I'll have some more That was delicious Of that game Do we have any remaining podcast business that we should attend to? We still work at Channel 6. Yes. Subscribe to the Channel 6 newsletter because we are going to be entering bowl season and silly season, which are both... We're kind of in our own silly season right now.

Yes, a delightful time to subscribe to our amusing as you will, of course, in the season, get the top whatever, which yesterday recapped Kansas's triumphant return to the top. top of the sport, rank them. Don't care. Five win, Kansas, put them up there. Yes. We rank whatever we want. You also get access to our pregame chats,

which I believe we're going to be having one this Saturday. And, yeah, all the other fun stuff that we do. So, Channel 6, you get two things a week from Holly and I for the low, low price of $10 a month. Subscribe. Haven't fucked it up yet. Don't want to start now. I just want to know real quick.

for those of you doing holiday travel and or other time in which you would like to listen to something, the audiobook that Serber and I did called Hell is the World Without You. There are lots of ways to listen to it for cheap. Very cheap if you have Spotify premiums free, Libro trial, so on and so forth. But it's very, very easy to get a hold of. Ryan, additionally, you have something at this point audiobook sized. Pretty much accidentally.

Whoops. Stephen Godfrey and I are. By the time this comes out, it will be available to everybody, the sixth and final suspect from Who Killed College Football. This one is about the government. In total, I think we have written about 50,000 words over the course of this project. Whoops, we're sorry, but you can listen to it all if you want. And bonus, you get to hear the dulcet tones of Ron DeSantis on this episode. Ooh, sexy, sexy. I can't wait.

When I was your age, television was called books. Just to spoil it. This is from Ron DeSantis' press conference at which he decides to say, like, the state of Florida is going to give a million dollars to Florida State to sue the playoff. And even in that press conference, he's like, I don't know why, or if that will work, but we'll do it anyway. And Noel fans are like, yeah, go wrong. You're so awesome.

I love your boots. Man, that was a long time ago. Yeah. That's your tough talk about football. wherever you listen to this podcast or other podcasts. Serber, do you have any podcast business at this point, or is it premature?

Well, I'll go ahead and tell you all that. Killer Anz is playing at the Flatiron on February 8th, 2025 with Dai Shiree and one other band to be confirmed. And we're back in Winston-Salem at Hoots on March 8th, with Instant Regrets and Housewife to Greensboro bands coming over to the twin other city. Hoots is fun and I like to be there. Additionally, if you're in the North Carolina area,

I mean, I'll just say that the Hoot's New Year's party is going to be really awesome too. Code 7's doing it and the bronze chorus is opening for them and that's going to be an awesome show. And like Dave's coming back for Code 7 to play a bunch of the old songs. So that'll be really rad. Everyone's dressing up like it's the 90s and I'll be there. Come hang out for that. And also, I want to raise up. Listen to Hand in the Dirt.

This is the part of the year where I find, I find, especially your co-hosts server, like, they really get on one. They take turns getting on one. Felder is going through something right now because we welcomed calls about him standing during a parent teacher conference. And he's really taking it on the chin.

Which, fair? No, don't do this. But it's somewhat fair, but. I'm always team Felder in these arguments, but all those teachers had really good points. Yeah, they did. Felder is very sad and hates himself for it now, though. So please stop calling about that.

Oh, God. No, I didn't want that. Oh, no, it's fine. He's going to be okay. Demonstrably untrue. It's fine. We've reconciled even though he said, I don't care. I still feel like a terrible person. He's okay. He was compared to a J.D. Vance type, potentially.

Who did that in the situation? One of our longtime listeners who said, I love you very much right before she said it. It's a fun show. We've got a really, a really good dynamic going, and it's Thanksgiving right now. So we talk Thanksgiving on the episode that dropped last week, the episode that drops this week. We're talking Rivalry Week, and also felt her sadness about not asking if he could stand,

which he will do from now on. But we've solved it. He's just going to ask for permission now, and it makes sense. And sometimes Holly and I just show up uninvited. Yeah, we have, um, if you can't even. you've never listened to Hand in the Dirt, first of all, shame on you. But second of all, Ryan and I have dial-ins that we just use sometimes because we get bored when they're taping. Yep.

It's an open invitation. Could happen at any time. None shall know the hour. None. None. I wish I had dropped in for Thanksgiving menu talk. I'm sad to miss that last week. I like that you guys are felt as backups for school conferences, right?

Like, getting tired of negotiating this IEP. I'm going to tap in Ryan. any here. I mean also in Savannah and kindergarten, he's got a while. Yeah, but the problem was a caller suggested that his action would be consistent with that of an uninvolved

parent and I think Felder heard that as he's an uninvolved parent and that did not go well. Yeah, he was attacked directly. In Felder's defense, he said the main reason for this, he did don't, I didn't want to in the little-ass chair. The chairs are very small. Felder did not want to sit in them

little-ass chairs. And I agree. It is a kind of like gynecological energy depending on how close those chairs are to the floor. It is preposterous. I would like some dignity. The only answer that didn't get proposed is I think

Felder should bring his own tailgate chair. Fold up tailgate chair. Teaser for this week's episode, we have suggested he just do the Jason Momoa meme thing and bring the fold out chair. sat down with that might that might actually be what happens to be clear this will be episode three of this discussion yeah he could do the adrian peterson thing too and just

usually when somebody's got something wrong for this long it's hartzell that's true i know harzell doesn't admit it that's the problem yeah yeah no hearts will just be like this heartsill just be like yeah i go i go sit server for eight straight golf meetings what of it not well he'd also he also he has one of the he has the tendency to just lie to and just say no that never happened when it clearly did such as him saying he's never been in a dumpster before he's never got dumpster dive even though he's the one that's like he's the one who presented the the idea of like well what would you dumpster dive for as if he'd never done that right also he's a fucking fish fan he's been in plenty of garbage see hand in the dirt comes out every y'all

I'll let a little bit of SEC into your ACC and look what happens. It's over. We're on blue sky too. That's right. That's right. Welcome in. Thus concludes podcast business. There's a schedule.

Having said that, meeting is adjourned. Meeting is adjourned. Bye, out. There is a schedule if you would like to look at it. This is an important schedule. This is the best schedule There is so much disaster on the schedule There's so much pain

The washer of the grid What are we in for? It is rivalry weekend It is half the games Don't matter at all But they matter very much And that's what we love Let's see here

So it's a weird one By the time you're hearing us We all want to take turns saying Rivalry Week Tuesday I think I got it down Rivalry Week For a rivalry Oh no you nailed it

I just wanted to hear everybody else do it No, I know. It is a difficult thing. I just wanted to see if I could do it in one take. So the Thanksgiving night game, do you all know what this one is? It's usually the Egg Bowl. I'm mad that it's not the Egg Bowl, to be clear. Long ago, it was a singular combination of food cities.

I want this tailgate. Yeah, it's a delicious game. Memphis? Memphis Tulane. Memphis at Tulane. Which probably seemed like it would be a big game. Memphis is still 9 and 2. but yeah, just a game.

Seems like it'd be a big game in 1870. You're like two of the most powerful cities in America, Memphis and New Orleans. The Steamboat Showdown. The Furness of our industry. The Western Frontier. Colora versus Swamp Madness. It is still a matchup of two nine and two teams, which is a fun thing you get to watch. Sure.

And two lands favored by two touchdowns. Yeah. Nine and two is nine and two. Mm-hmm. Mm-hmm. This is a match. When it's a Ryan Silverfield, nine and two. He doesn't get his ass out of here.

They need to fire that fuck. We just talked about what Matt Brown did in two late. It sure wasn't a fucking nine and two season. I'll tell you what. John Somerall, you need to take a note from me. Don't win too much. Easy. Easy.

They're young, fellas. You win a whole lot. You get them spoiled. You got to have a good five and seven stretch before you start jogging. This is all accurate. We don't have to lie about any of this. You've got to really suck for a few years. Make them appreciate it when you recruit one special player who changes everything.

This will be much like the evening meal at Thanksgiving. You won't think you'll need it, but you start consuming it. That'll be pretty good. Yeah. Okay. Yeah, sure. Sorry, it's been a while I'm out of practice and I didn't finish that sentence. When you recruit that one special player who makes all the difference,

as a safety to another school. Also, your alternative to Memphis two lane is Dolphins Packers, which is decent, but, you know, it's decent, it's decent. It's not the worst. It's not the worst of the Thanksgiving games. The early NFL games,

the first one involves the Bears and Big Sean probably. Fuck that. The second one is the NFC East, the two bad teams in it. Fuck that. You can watch Tuskegee. Alabama State instead of

Giants Cowboys Yeah Who the lions have? The lions have the bears Which That'll be That'll be Yeah

Yeah It used to be On Thanksgiving That you know It was Wait is that a fucking Wicked promo Or is that a real

Football game Oh I Oh Oh is that what Wicked's about Yep LionGrav That's true

That is Got it You mentioned You mentioned Mac Brown and has his penchant for recruiting safety. Speaking of safety schools, Georgia. Georgia will host Georgia Tech on Friday at 730 and one of the funniest possible outcomes. Because just in case you weren't already hooked, yes, Georgia will probably win this game. They should win this game.

But you're looking for outs. And what are those outs is, oh my God, they allowed so many rushing yards to you, ass so many rushing yards you know who likes to run the ball georgia tech that's it come in get fully suckered with me make sure the hook digs deep in the back of the jaw okay so that it cannot escape you know what's going on here too is a weird thing and i don't know if this is just like tennessee taking up more of its usual mind share in those like guys and thus attitudes are percolating outwards or if it's all still kind of hanging in the air from seven or no pit Georgia fans are nervous

They don't usually do this That's I see It's been a while I think the UMass game was a setup I think Kirby They all we talked about this in the show That they always play their FCS teams like this I know but I think Jesus not FCS

Sorry UMass Although maybe you should be I think this was intentional I think Kirby's like I don't want A bunch of positive attention on us right now I know we have George Wiles like that I know we have Georgia Tech coming next. We're going to beat, even if we let UMass run for 280 yards, we'll still beat

them. I'm going to let that happen so that the hook Spencer just took a big chomp into is what the national media can do. And then we can turn around and say like, media didn't even think we didn't believe us. They didn't even think we'd be competitive against this Georgia Tech team. I'll disrespect you. Suck it in, suck it in, suck it in, Spencer Hall. They just don't understand how different all it is against an SEC schedule against SEC teams like UMass. Georgia check. You just got blues traveler. Then he reveals his dozens of harmonicas.

Now give me some poppers. Me and Bobo going to go crush 24 packs in the parking lot. You can see us there. Get the gang back together. Another one that has an opportunity for maximum pain. Not that I think it will happen because I do believe Oklahoma State is going to... Don't you dare. Oh.

Oklahoma State is going to cap a perfect season. by losing to Colorado. However, if they didn't, the only real possibility, and this is what the last week of the regular season is all about, the capacity to explode and destroy someone else's season. Still Big 12 championship ties on the line for Colorado. Their avenue towards a Big 12 championship game slot

will become a little more difficult with a loss to Oklahoma State. That's true. And if you're asking us to chart, out the list of things that have to happen for any given big 12 team to no no you will find out when they schedule it none of us make enough money to do that the big 12 put out a press release that basically said it's going to be a minute it said like half the league is still eligible well it was it was because they because it's press release so they framed it like in in braggie tones they're like 250 possible combinations you don't want that many right no no it's like it's like

Wait, wait, wait, is there anybody competing for bowl eligibility and a spot in the title game? Sadly, no. It hasn't gotten quite that. How closer we did that? I think West Virginia is the closest to that at this point. And they're already there.

Yeah, but if you're caught. Why, who do they have? Texas Tech. Okay. Sure. All right. Yeah. Um, at the same time on Friday

at noon Eastern. You remember how we talked about how Ashton Genty has already rushed for

2,000 yards. Would you care to guess where their opponent Oregon State ranks in yards per

carried allowed this year? It's 123 in the nation. Oregon State's pretty bad and especially

in that regard. So Ashton Gente get loose, buddy. Hydrate. Yeah. Stretch. You're going to run

for a 5K. That's it. Charity 5K through the Oregon State defense. He also has 27 touchdowns there. Rush, just rushing. Just like, so stupid. That's absurd. So stupid. Backgrounds, North Carolina,

25 rushing touchdowns this year. That's pretty good. His season is currently 19th all time. Say he taxed on 200 here, which doesn't seem difficult. That would take him up to 2262 which would be

fifth all time and then we have a conference championship game and at least a bowl game this would be within like yeah within just 12 games he would be there cool awesome

yeah um Minnesota Wisconsin is hmm sure grim grim sure is it it's it's

it's five and well because it's five and six Wisconsin Oh, okay. And also, it's Wisconsin. They love Grim. Yeah. It's their whole thing.

Yeah. Yeah. The, uh, yeah. Overender for this game. I love, this is one of my favorite rival games to visit. Oh, yeah. I think it will be, I think it will be fun. It will be cold as shit.

And it will be, uh, it will have heavy doses of slog in it. Can't wait. Let's get some lake effect, boys. we have a Friday afternoon egg bowl that's fucked up that's wrong that's fucked up that's a four touchdown favorite that's even more fucked up the egg bowl should not be played at daylight that's just wrong you shouldn't be able to see it

you need to hide it for god's eyes it also to play it when everybody involved is not heavily sedated by food right and right punch or or intentionally being shunned by their family you know just everything about this is wrong.

This little game is not a break from any from any like arguments that are about to turn into fights. Yeah. No, no, this is a fight that's going to turn into a fight. Hell yeah. A solid Friday. That's better than some.

Honestly, a lot better than I think the average rivalry weekend Black Friday. It's probably right. It's usually a little overrated, but this is solid. Yeah. But then that gets us to Saturday where I invite everyone to come along with me at noon. to Kroger Field

so that you can watch whatever the fuck is going to happen at Louisville at Kentucky. Oh, ah, man. Oh, always. Even the records are symmetrical, by the way, seven and four cards,

four and seven kets. Yeah, but this is, remember, you can throw the scores out. You should throw the scores out because they're radioactive. They should be stored underground in a place where nobody

could be exposed to them because whatever happens. Throw the scores out. Throw the record book into a quarry. Yes. What's down there? The T virus was developed in the Louisville Kentucky game. Kyle Fla Corporation.

The lambs are through to the killing field at Louisville, Kentucky. Uh, yeah, this is, uh, this is calling this game. One of the most, it's an SEC network game. One of the most spiteful games year in and year out. If Louisville gets up, you will get to see or if Kentucky gets up somehow, which at one point, Kentucky will Kentucky, and they will do something positive when no one expects them to. this sort of feels like one of those games to me. L's Down is one of the funniest things you'll ever see because you'll see three-year-olds like

ah! Fuck you! Down! It's great. Louisville or Louisville as well. So there is a lot of... Yeah. It's a mean game. Speaking of mean games. Poor Dave Neal, this is a Dave game.

Speaking of mean, we got South Carolina Clemson with like lots of spikes. Lots of potential upward mobility. You want to take up? get it all over me just pour it right on my head this game we're bathing in hardy's sauce this game this game this game this game means something at a picture of shame beam we're gonna shit all over ourselves right in front of everyone it right at noon first thing everyone gets to see exactly what we're capable of and it's not great turkey farts with citadel

block to kick last week that's we can move that's all i have to say So it'll block to kick this week. Yep, Citadel block to kick. How many is that now? I don't know, but someone stopped making out and it's back at Nolan, I guess. That's six officially. There is a seventh one that there was a penalty called back on it.

I think we got to close down. Well, fortunately, your next opponent doesn't have an entire brand of football named after his family's penchant for strong special teams. So. Yep. Also, man, faces South Carolina right now is crazy. You're like, I don't know. Are they going to pass? Are they a running team?

Dude, they don't know what they are. They show up and they're like, well, what can we do today? I don't know. They kind of, we can just like, we just like, or just laid a golden egg. We just kill their quarterback and then otherwise, just wing it. Yeah, who will, who will Lenora Sellers show up as? Yeah, who will he morph as?

Right now, Lenora Sellers is college football's, uh, Kirby when he eats a team. He acquires, the only, the only Kirby in college football. The only Kirby that we want to talk about ever. There goes that disrespect again from Spencer Hall. We're disrespectful. Spencer Hall said I'm not as cool as the Nintendo guy. I heard that guy doesn't even wear pants. He's promoted nudism.

He's a pinko, literally. His haircuts not as flat as mine. I don't eat swords because I believe in the Second Amendment. That guy turns into somebody else. I just turned into me. I mean, we just was. That's right, George. Who the hell is Kirby?

I'm a top one. It's not my fault. I'm pink. I can't tan. If you always burn in the sun, you're always topped one skin. Here at University, Georgia, we don't go around taking other people's powers

because we just try to do our ours. When I play Tekken, I choose the guy with the lion head, even though it's cheating. I don't live in Dreamland. I live in reality land. You wake up. My favorite Kirby thing is what he's like,

I don't think about that. Like, you can ask him anything. You're like, hey, Kirby, how you feel? He's like, I don't think about that. I don't think about how healthy. We believe you, buddy. Yeah. I think poor Chip Towers asked him about the, about the hat.

I always say poor chip because every single time that, every time that man opens his mouth, he's like, I hate everything that you just asked me. And I hate it. I don't think about it. I don't think about it. I don't think about this question. I'm not even here right now. This is a double. Didn't Chip Towers give COVID to the entire Vandy press box last year?

Maybe. Okay. Let me know if I'm remembering that wrong. Folks sound off in the comments Speaking of Vanderbilt Tennessee Vandy Oh wait, no

Bad Reverts I forgot I forgot what week it was The hoary fields of first The one H-O-A or Y Why they're doing on them

White Frosty Yeah If I wanted to see a whore Nashville Nashville Louisville loves their Commodores. Oh. How are we feeling?

How are we feeling? Vandy's out of gas. If I showed you the actual football text this morning, you would think I was making it up. Can you give me a single sample? I agree that I can't handle pure undistilled. No, maybe not for the reason you believe it. Okay.

Also, honestly, if we lose to Vanderbiltzsche, and lose the bowl game both. I will love this team forever. Aw. Okay. That's great. It's, it's unnatural times. Okay. We live in unnatural times for all of us. I think that's good. I think that's wonderful. I will be at this Tennessee Vanderu. Yes. Oh, have you paid attention to the seating chart? If we do lose this game, by the way, if we do lose this game, we have every reason to know why, which is that enterprising Tennessee fans

have gone around Vandy's stadium and put up diagrams for what section to sit in depending on whether you're wearing orange or white so that we can produce a checkerboard effect in Vandy's little football arena and if they lose you know who to blame

I don't think they will I agree with Spencer but I've been wrong about Vanderbilt before. Vandy looks, Vandy looks very out of gas. I think they're out of dudes. They're out of energy. Like Diego Pavia can only do so much. You want to talk about being, listen, it is, then let it just stand that it is a mark of their achievements this year that I am really glad to get them 12th. I also think Tennessee is in the rare category of if Vandy wants to play the, hey, we're each going to have six possessions. Fuck you.

I think Tennessee is more okay with that than a lot of other football teams are. Yes, as long as Dylan Sampson still has both of his legs, which we'll see. Correct. Yes. As long as Nico has one healthy limb, we'll see. Yeah. That's fine. We haven't talked about it.

Ohio State's not losing to Michigan, right? Nah, much as we would love to consider the possibility of advice. There's no real reason to think it'll happen. Like, I want people to know. this is also great because Ryan Day will win one and everybody really don't count not with Will the superintendent Howard at quarter Will Barbara Howard You didn't fill out your requisition form

Jol war game where are they where are they this week is this them oh yeah oh definitely yeah this big nude Saturday this is as nude as it gets biggest nudist my hat is like a shark's fin welcome to Columbus The ferret capital of Ohio. Brian, what percentage of our listeners do you think are aware of that? Honestly, that anyone on here got it, was a bum to my soul. I got you. Yukon, UMass, the Cumb Bowl, unfortunately, the Wikipedia page for that game.

I looked at the history, the edit battle. In 2022, it became no longer the Cumb Bowl. they just put Yukon and Yuga Masa's logo on there and you can find for like a year people kept editing it like no this is what everyone here is on campus everyone here on campus calls it the Cumble I swear and the editors

are like please please stop please stop changing it to the Cumbull like no dude seriously I know it's gross but like and you like you can like the Wicca Media Foundation some of their money some of your when Wikipedia tells you like please

donate $2 some of it goes toward maintaining this this exchange of holding the line against these people Hey and you know how I can You know how you can tell That proves

Wikipedia is still An independent media organization A corporate media organization Would be like Cumble has great SEO We're definitely calling it What time is Cumbull 2024?

Cumbull sponsored by Cumballs What else we got? Cumbull colon Reddit. Search Reddit for Cumbull. Cumbull, Reddit reviews. AI Cumbull. Cumbull near me. The aforementioned Pitt Boston College Tilt will kick off.

Speaking of Cumbulls. Speaking of tilting. You know what networks this is on. ACC network? No, your good old CW. You're home. I swear. Pit Boston College Action.

Why would you do this to the C-Dubble? This whole middle... CW deserves better. This middle slate of games is like every single game. I'm like, oh, terrible, I can't wait. Like Pitt Boston College, Maryland Penn State, Notre Dame USC, the This Iron Bowl, Miami Syracuse, CalSMU, an Arizona state game that matters.

Arkansas is here. Rutgers, Michigan State for bowl eligibility. This is NC State UNC on the ACC Network. Trent Dilfer's here. This is awesome. It's a lot. It's a busy ass. It's like a royal.

It's like a Royal Rumble, just filled with garbage cans. It's great. Vince McMahon's last Royal Rumble, the one that was booked by Shane McMahon. Welcome to the dumpster match. Which makes it even more confusing when you look at like, okay, well, what goodness did they say for the evening? And you're like, Purdue, Indiana, Florida, Florida, Florida, Florida State. I'm going to enjoy that a lot, I suspect. Washington, Oregon.

Florida, FSU, it's important. Folks, it's, a big game is happening. A big game is happening. A game that we've waited long for that lots of cowboys and cow folks have spent many a lonesome night laying awake, staring at the stars, hoping that one day their fates would cross again. And they are. Dreaming their little dream ballets. That's right. That's right.

That's right. It's Farmageddon. Six, seven, thirties. They only play like five times over the next year. no church but dog church yes Saturday November 30th they're gonna kiss

they're gonna kiss for four hours on ABC you can't see it but we're all mashing our pointer fingers together and twist in the mecca and forth that's it in their little chaps have you seen have you seen how expensive tickets are for this game oh they're like the numbers

that's the best part that's the best part that's the best part. Hold on. I'm gonna, I'm gonna, I'm gonna, the numbers are like $24,000 for a 50 yard seat. Spencer, Spencer, let's just blind test this. I'm on seat geek right now. How many tickets do you want to Texas at Texas A&M? I'm Texas size crew. I want five of them, right? Five tickets. Spencer, where do you want to sit roughly? As close as I possibly can. Okay, great. Because I got big money and big dreams. I want to watch them kiss. Do you want to sit in the end zone or do you want to sit on the sideline? sidelines. Okay, I'm going to get you into section 126.

All right. Row four, you're on the 40-yard line. You're right down by the field. That's more than five. I'm going to need $15,000 from you for these five tickets, which costs $3,000 a piece. I'm going to do it. You know what?

I need to watch them kiss. I just think about the fact that there's an, it's entirely possible somebody's like, yeah, I pay $3,000 to watch my team fucking lose. To watch and not just lose to like, you know, to lose for the first time in 13 years to these scumbags. And to lose like your SEC title shot. Yep, yep. And maybe fuck up your playoff spot. To miss the playoff because of it.

If Texas loses bad enough, I don't know, maybe they're just like, get all this shit out of here. But oh my God, somebody's got to lose this game. Somebody's got to lose this game. This is my very favorite type of game. is a game where oh man one of these teams is going to lose it's going to hurt we're going to have so much fun

and y'all hunker down because this is oh this is this is the shutdown full cast DEI game of the year we don't care we don't care where you're from we don't care about your background we don't care anything about you

we have no dogs in this church ourselves no matter who lose no matter who loses we're going to have so much fun with you. In this house, science is real. In this house, we believe Texas is a name is not, oh no, we got to make one of those, don't we?

Yeah, I think the way that it, I think the way that it would go, it would be, it would be something like, in this house, we believe Buckees matters. Sausage is a human right. What? No hat is illegal. I don't know.

No hat is big enough. One of the life just says coach, coach, coach, coach. Coach, coach, coach. Bevo is real. Love is love, and we're going to make him kiss. God made Bevo, not Shevo. I hope every Texas A&M fan is bringing cocaine into this game. They're going to need it, brother.

To clap, I hope they do the LeBron clap. Snorting the cocaine in the air. Tune up on the way in. I mean, you know that when the record, When somebody brings a shitload of blow into a Texas A&M game, they're one and O. I can't speak for anything else, but we know, undefeated. Big night game, taken down a team that was having a great season before them. Section 336, it needs to look like, I need to look up and be like, whoa, am I, am I in the, am I in the Dolomites?

Is this Colorado? Is that Park City? I need, that's what, Section 336, you're Park City now. Let's hit the slope. Oops. A blizzards are coming. Yeah. It's an Aggie Whitehouse.

I need you to go Lindsay Vaughn up there, okay? You're saying it's Saturday. That's all you're saying.