Shutdown Fullcast - Horse Girls Vs. Balloon Boys

Episode Date: June 1, 2022

In hindsight, Finnish prohibition may have been ill-conceived Gaming out the secession of Wisconsin The surprising historical origins of the "horse girl" A short history of British basketball Dutch horse navy  >>>>> German war balloons Introducing FenderCare, the dog park for lonely cars Your calls, after the break Learn more about your ad choices. Visit podcastchoices.com/adchoices

Podcast business? Podcast business. Podcast business. What's that business? It's a business. Podcast business. We actually have some news. Is this the part where we're supposed to read the press release?

Yeah, we can read the press release since it actually exists. Who wants to read the press release? I'd be happy to. Read the press release. I would love to read the press release as soon as I call it up. Here we go. Press release for our seven-figure deal. Metal Arc boost content portfolio with the addition of four new shows.

Mental boost. Yes. New York, May date to be determined, 2022. They're going to have to move that May date back. It's June. Metal Arc today announced four new shows, introducing new voices to its late and greenlining the renewal of familiar shows. In success of its relationship with draft kings around the Dan Lebitard show with Stugats. Matalark continues to add new personalities to its network and scale up its content offering for its partner.

Mental Arc quote, Draft King's quote. I guess they're going to add those later. Spencer, you're just supposed to read the part about us. Nope, reading all the directions here. Okay. We're behind the scenes. They deserve everything. The new shows include top billing, baby.

Top billing in this. Shut down full cast. Yes. Shut down full cast. In partnership with Metal Arc, hosts Spencer Hall, Jason, Kurt Ryan Annie and Holly Anderson will bring their flagship college football show Shutdown Fullcast

Underneath the Metal Arc umbrella. Shutdown Fullcast joins Fullcast After Dark A live college football recap show That's a generous phrasing there That returns for a second season A college football show is a generous phrasing That returns for a second season with Metal Arc this fall. Y'all, it's in a press release, it's official.

Also, you're listening to us right now. It's official. Sorry that took so long. We had lawyers. Yeah, you get lawyers involved and people got to negotiate things and that takes a minute. You get lawyers involved when you're signing a seven-figure deal. How far over seven figures? Mind your business. Mind your own business. Mind your business. Mind your business. This is our business.

You know, I'm going to be able to be. I'm going to be. Yeah. You know, Welcome to the Shutdown Fullcast. You are listening to the Internet's only college football podcast. The voice you are hearing belongs to me, Spencer Hall, live from Atlanta, Georgia.

Across the table from me here in the Shutdown Fullcast Satellite Studios is Holly Anderson. Say hello, Holly. Hello, Holly. You did the thing. Satellite to what? Yeah. That's the secret shut down forecast studios at Epcot, Canada. The sun.

The layer. Speaking of the sun. I actually believe that the sun revolves around the shutdown forecast and your attempts to prove otherwise are impinging on my first memory. I actually meant to tell you guys, I believe that the earth is round, but the moon is flat. The frisbee theory? The moon has frisbee. Speaking of the sun, here's Pastor Jason Kirk.

Parts Unknown, aka Epcot Canada, as always, live from Epcot Canada. Hello, Jason. Spencer, have you practiced the welcome? Have you, like, kept the pipes in shape and all that? Not at all. That was a little wobbly. No, I wasn't saying that. That certainly wasn't a critique, I think, breaking it out after not doing it for however many days.

Highly respectable. I just wondered if you were keeping the band in tune at all. No, I do a lot of holler in at the boys So that's probably I think that counts I think that's basically what this podcast is That's natural conditioning You know when athletes used to detail

How they kept in shape in the offseason Professional athletes in the 50s and 60s It was things like tennis and fishing And Ted Williams like how do you keep in shape Like well I fish six days a week I grill There's our athlete Hello Ryan

Ryan Ryan is truly an endurance athlete this week How are we feeling Ryan Fuck this. Fuck this. Like, I went, are we allowed to say what has happened to you? Yeah, I went to, what happened is I went two years without getting COVID and then right before the show fucking comes back. Boom, COVID comes from my house. Right.

Who is the one, who is the one non-COVID out of person in your house right now? In the last, I think it's been six days. Everyone in my house, me, my wife, five-month-old, has, we've all gotten it at some point. except the five-year-old who is just looking at all, like, what's, you guys, why won't you play with me? Why would you? But I will say, COVID did lead to one delightful HBO Max moment of movie melding for my wife. She's been trying to watch Death on the Nile. Oh, no.

Which she keeps, she said she's. No, the new version? Yes. No. We're going to get to that. she said she had tried in healthy times she had tried three times and fallen asleep every time so this time she was on bed rest she's like going to try it again again this time she had fucking covid so of course she fell asleep again but she fell asleep for so long that when she woke up another movie was on and it was similar enough it was still set in like world war one era it had sort of like a similar look and she was like wow this movie got a lot better but she was actually was watching was the King's Man. Yes!

Oh no! Yes! Oh no! Yes! Okay, the King's Man will improve death on the Nile. Yes. I will say this. Yes. Which is not, I think, what Kenneth Brano was going for. Don't let it. He heard that. I know.

He heard that. Can I just say... Any movie that switches to the King's Man halfway through is an improved movie. Sure. I'll put that out there. You could be watching Italy's finest. You could be watching The Bicycle Thief, one of the most moving and well-composed films of all time.

And if it switched to the Kingsman halfway through, no one would argue. I haven't seen it, but she said that the same actor plays, who is it? The King of England, not Lenin, Tsar, Nicholas. Nicholas, yeah, Nicholas. And somebody else. Because they were all cousins. It's like the German, it's the Kaiser, the Kaiser, the King of England. and the czar because they were all cousins.

And it's all just the same dude, like barely changing? Get it? Get it? Get it? Do you get it? It's the movie subtle humor that really makes it? That's not me saying that. That's the movie. Get it? Yeah. We could, by the way, like in the middle of next season, if Mizzou Vanderbilt is interrupted halfway through by the Kingsman, no one will complain. No one. No one. No, that's true. They'd be like, man, this game just got a lot better. Wow. Rasputin could fight. I didn't know that. Hey, speaking of world history, I have a game.

A game. I have returned to you with a game. June 1st, a historic day, the return, the second return of the shutdown forecast. And it got me thinking, where does this stack up among other June 1sts in history? I have dived into the internet through such outlets as Encyclopedia Britannica, which still exists on the internet, our best friend Wikipedia, I have gone through On This Day.com, which I encourage you all to visit because it has a weird pro-Dutch slant to all of its history. It will have all of these world events and then the merging of two Dutch soccer clubs will just randomly. pop up as a historic world event. Congratulations to whoever is controlling that from afar.

Anyway, I have compiled a list of... I've selected roughly 70 years, ranging from 4,000 BC to 2011, and selected a historical event that occurred on June 1st of that day. And we are going to draft June 1st. This is a concept in the business that we call draft day because we are drafting

a day. I was going to do a random number generator to determine who goes first, but I feel bad for Ryan and also I don't know how long he's going to be able to remain upright. So we're going to go clockwise

from Ryan on my Zoom screen. So the draft order is going to be Ryan, Jason, Serb, or Spencer. That is how the NFL draft works when you think about it. It is. And then we will,

who do we feel worse for? We will, of course, then serpent time. So, Ryan, if you would like to go first, you may pick a year between 4,000 BC and 2011. And if you select a year that has not, that has not been selected one, I will tell you the next closest.

Okay. Uh, I'm going to go, this is a really special year to me, and I think to the show. I'm going to go with the year of Spencer's birth, 1955. 1955. All right. I'm not going to laugh at that. The closest one we have there is 1957. Okay. Jeffrey Hawkins, the inventor of the Palm Pilot, is born in Huntington, New York.

Damn. Like, wow, you picked, like, the MVP of 1992. The enabler of all of your worst friends from the 90s was born on this date in 1957. Congratulations, Ryan. Thanks. Jason, you're up. Okay. Let's see here.

I had jotted down a list of historical June 1sts that seemed to be of interest to me. I have sort of one per. criteria. I think of the funniest June 1st, of which I am aware, would be 1919 when Finland, where the average resident over the age of 15 drinks about a liter of alcohol per month, which has been the case for the past 60 years, according to the studies. June 1st, 1919, Finland attempted alcohol prohibition. How'd that go? It proved another disaster. It was repealed within 12 years.

after the emergence of organized crime. It probably laid the groundwork for black metal. So the Finnish government is probably to blame for that. But I think that is quite possibly the funniest thing that has happened in the history of the world. Please note also that they started this in June. If they started this in January, I think Finland might have collapsed.

Yeah, no. Yeah, they say the two factors that contribute to Scandinavian alcoholism are... are the gentle summer days and the long winter days. So I don't know which would be more dangerous to attempt this during. Think about it. You can probably drink real hard for about three months in the summer. Everything's cool.

Life's great. You know, like things are awesome. There's plenty of sunlight. Your vitamin D's through the roof. You're hanging out with your bros. Everything's awesome. You're on the lake. And then suddenly one day, oh, no.

Oh, no. I still have to drink, but there's no sunlight. And everything is bad and cold. Yeah. I'm so sad. I think you're describing Chicago. Yeah, that's, I am. Oh, in the summer, it's great.

Don't ever believe that lie. How'd Prohibition go in Chicago, by the way? Swimmingly. Swimmingly. Did that lead to any particular newsworthy events? It created heroes like Alphonse Capone. It gave Brian De Palma a career. I feel like, so I don't know, I don't know of many facts about Wisconsin during Prohibition. I feel like they just ignored it.

Yeah, I don't think they. got that telegram. We declined to state's rights, states or states rights in a Wisconsin accent is what happened. There's just a guy with bolt cutters cutting every telegram line and phone line that day right? Like, hello?

Oh, we're going to secede from the freaking union. Marge, they didn't answer. Milwaukee just went dark for 12 years. Just, nope. Sorry, can't hear you. I didn't actually know until very recently how close

Milwaukee is to Chicago which makes it even funnier because they're like what I'm sorry I didn't I didn't hear you I was mowing I was cutting the grass I was mowing the darn snow I mean the evidence is that Chicago didn't get the memo either for what I've seen so I'm looking here and Wisconsin

Wisconsin basically after the Volstead Act enacted Prohibition nationwide six years later oh god we started that in January pro that took effect on January 17 rough you dumbasses after that Wisconsin voters approved a referendum that was like no you can sell like low alcohol beer it's fine it was just like what Congress nothing like that ever happened again fortunately Wisconsin's compromise was

will be Utah it's okay the rest of you cannot have beer in will be Utah if you take the lake and you break it up into many lakes here we are Also, I want to know how subjective low alcohol beer was, right? Like, what's low alcohol beer? Carl, I'd say that's like 70%. Yeah, it's 1926. Who's like coming into the bar and testing it for? Oh, yeah.

It's mostly not alcohol. It's only 49 APV. Low for Wisconsin, where again, to this day, there are grocery stores. Every grocery store I've ever been to in Wisconsin has a brandy aisle. Brandy Cave. I've seen that advertised. They make a geological formation. They create a monument of earth to brandy, the brandy cave.

I've seen that in multiple grocery stores. I know we love Pennsylvania and worship it as our greatest another show. Wisconsin's a close second. It's way up there. It's definitely top five. Pick three, Michael Cerber. Most of the board, most of world history from year negative 4,000 to year 2011 is still in play i'm going to make a pick based like purely for michael felder friend of the program

because he loves horses and i know this is the event associated and chicago sucks and he really he really wants to be on the heels of that conversation so i'm going to go to 4,000 bc oh i got to tell you guys this is my favorite because apparently i've discovered during my research. Scientists and historians have settled upon June 1st, 4000 BC as the approximate date for the domestication of the horse. I don't know who decided this. If you know how this was decided, please write in, sound off in the comments. Approximate domestication of the horse in the Eurasian steps near Derevka, which is now central Ukraine. And then there's a note after this hypothesis only new horse dropped new horse coming june first i too picked dion jordan third is the source

for the june force thing is that like bleacher report or like comicbook dot com or like no but it is that it is that on this day dot com website that has dutch soccer threaded into like every third year so i just how could there be how could there be a day when we were like yep that was the day the horse That was the day when Carl walked up to that horse and looked it in the eye and said, your tyranny is over, my friend. You are domesticated. The only thing I could figure out is this is the first day. This is the first, they had carbon dated it,

and this is the first recorded day where somebody approached a horse and didn't die. They carbon dated somebody's ass prints on a horse's back. Yeah. Like here is a whole group of bodies of skeletons that died over a period of, of roughly the same year. And here's the first one that doesn't have its skull kicked in. How old is that one?

I hope they found a journal, like an ancient caveman journal. And it just before this, like, all of May, all of April, it's like, kicked in chest, kicked in chest, and then you get to do it first. And it was like... And it's like, new horse drive. It was like, only softly kicked in chest,

domesticated, Stan. You did it. I think what happened is we found, like, the fossilized remains of the first horse girl. and she got this horse for her birthday which was on June 1st. Kaylee. Kaylee with an R somehow I think.

It's Britney with a K. Don't worry. It's Brecklin. This is in the dad annals. It's partner, butch. Right? This is where some dad ascended to a new level of daddum by saying, not only did I purchase a horse.

Because I imagine that was a thing that girls were like, I really want a pony. Even though ponies were these like skull-kicking, ass-biting monsters. I met a teenage girl, of course they want those ponies. Right. And every other dad was like, yeah, it was awful. Three people died, but I got her a pony. And this dude was like, yo, sugar cube.

Like he walked up and the horses were like, it's over. Fuck, he's got a sugar cube. Yo, he's got carrots. Carrots. So if we date the first horse girl to 4,000 BC, in June 1st, we can say what, August 1st is the first instance of school bullying? Yes. also in 4,000 BC, horsegirls, man, not even once.

Genghis Khan was a horse girl. You know? Eric Goren was a horse girl. Ponytails? Yeah. Horse girls have done a lot in history if you think about it. Yeah, certainly the first. Genghis Khan, by the way, does make an appearance later on in our June 1st calendar.

Spencer Hall, would you like to see if you can guess where? I will I just want to get in the notes here I'm just going to write it down Ryan Nanny quote Genghis Khan did a lot unquote No how is that to take away from here

or not Genghis Khan There are many factors to consider about Genghis Khan That is maybe the least controversial statement Gagas Khan did do a lot He did a lot of things Horse girls are not a land of contrast

I think it's Horse girls equal fascism Got it okay um yes what am i guessing again a year so june first no you had a specific one you want me to get june first i was just saying if you could pick a year where gingus con was led but left on the board is year 195 bc through 2011 oh i will take a lot of a lot of june first there where we were just like yep just

celebrating our dominion over horses no that's where the horse girls had dominion over all the That's true. I wanted to pick something from the stupid balloon release, Hands Across America, Collective Stunt era. So I'm going to go to 1983. 1983. 1983. I have 1982 and 1984 on the board. Pick one.

I'm going to go to 82. Justine Annen, Belgian tennis player seven-time Grand Slam singles title, Olympic gold medalist in 2004, was born in Liege, Belgium. Good player. Real good player. I actually love Justine and N. Yeah, just one of my favorites. I'm glad I could finally rep Belgium. Have you heard what's happening at Nebraska? Speaking of balloons?

Oh, yes. Yes, we're no longer. But not because it's a terrible environmental hazard. And not because it's awkward to sit there holding a balloon for two quarters. Ryan, why won't you fill us in for those of us who's every podcast is a first balloon podcast? My COVID-addled memory is doing its best. But the Nebraska tradition of releasing balloons once Nebraska, is it scores a touchdown first or scores first whatever the score is?

We don't know. It's a some, Nebraska kills a whole bunch of birds. Right. And the crowd all releases a red balloon is being, I think, done away with it for this year because of helium supply issues, which is. Not because balloons are fucking terrible for the environment. Well, if helium supply issues are a thing,

why is that annoying fucking balloon message dude on Instagram still around? Why isn't his dick fucking disappeared? Oh, shit. No, his don't float, right? Doesn't he tack them to the wall? But they look helium-filled. You think that's his lung air? Are you suggesting his lungs don't want it enough?

I think it's his fault. I think you're correct. Okay, you are. I'll go with that. So now, I think we all know if Nebraska disappoints this year, Joe Biden's fault Spencer unfortunately you have to pick again as we begin our

serpentine draft back towards Ryan Okay can I go let's see I want to pick a year where things were definitely going well Can we do Let's see 1863 1863 I will give you 1862 Or 1864

I will go 1864 Oh dear Solomon George Washington Dill white ally of African Americans assassinated in his home by white terrorists in South Carolina never happened again. That's not good. No.

I'm sorry, they were anxious. They were anxious. This is a mental health issue for them. They were just anxious over the economy. That's why. It's not good. A lot has changed since then. You got a bad June first.

This is not one of those things. I do want to go back to the Nebraska thing for one second. Hydrogen. It's just that easy. Everybody just carries a hydrogen. Non-flammable, stable. family-friendly hydrogen. That's what Nebraska fans should carry.

Yeah. All right. Back to Cerber. Pick a year, any year. Round two, pick two. This couldn't have been bad either. 1492. 1492.

1495. A monk, John Corr, records the first known batch of Scotch whiskey. Oh, damn. First known. So right now, Cerber has got Horses and whiskey? Yeah. It's awesome.

Yeah. Fuck. Strong lead there by Michael Serber. Man, server, you're going to have a good summer. Drunk horse. Let's go. Drunk horse summer! All I got is a pole pilot.

Yeah. Round two, pick three. Jason Kirk, you're on the board. I am now. This is the sound of me deleting 1495 from my board. Obviously. Obviously, it was on mine. Let's go with my favorite death from a June 1st.

Adolf Eichmann was hanged. Was hanged near Jerusalem after being hunted down in Argentina on June 1st, 1962. Also, the Boston Red Sox lost a baseball game that day. This is a bad day for Red Sox fans everywhere? Yes. No? Is that anything? Bad day for fascists all over.

Folks, you can reach Spencer Hall at shutdown fullcast at gmail.com or 38 godfrey on twitter uh all right ryan the last pick of the second round pick a june first i so so i think at this point it's clear that spencer and i are picking totally blind okay um yeah we gave everyone the choice of doing their research or not and surprising absolutely no one jason is the one who has done research sure uh what do you have for me in, like, the terrible late 90s. Ooh, yeah. Late 90s.

Let's try, uh, hmm. Do I have like a 98, a 97, anything like that? I have a 98. The European Central Bank is founded in Brussels to define and execute the European Union's monetary policy. Okay. I have Palm Pilots and Euros. Yeah, I am like really, like...

You're a tight. You're a globalist. I am a globalist, and I'm cruising for a very bad. You listen to me, Ryan, Andy. You're the problem. God, I'm becoming a banker. This show sucks. We'll find you at Davos.

Okay, wait. I forget how serpentine drafts work. Does Ryan now pick again? Yeah, I go again. Sorry, Ryan, go again. Fuck. Round three. Let's go.

All right, I think I need to, like, get out of the 20th century. Same. Same, brother. What can I have from the 1600s? What can you have from the 1600s? Here, I'll throw a dart at 1650, and you tell me what it's nearest to. Okay, 1648. Okay, I'll take it.

If I told you in 1648 on June 1st that the roundheads defeated the Cavaliers at something called the Battle of Maidstone, what sport would you think that was? Irish hurling. Close. It's the second English Civil War. All right, yep. Yeah, yeah. Also, notably, that's UVA taking another loss. Yet another football loss for UVA.

I actually have a dick-punching joke in here, but it's in a different year. England's a basketball school. There's actually, you know, I can go ahead and, let's see. You know, by the way, we don't hear about that, right? You're not like, hey, man, who are we facing in the Olympics in basketball? Like, England. Oh, no. Does England have an Olympic basketball?

What would that even... I'm having trouble even picturing that. What would that even look like? L'all Dang was on the British team, right? Oh, that's right. It would look like Philip Seymour Hoffman playing basketball. Great Britain men's national basketball. Wait, wait, guess what year the Great Britain men's national basketball team was formed?

1998. 2006. I was underbid. Oh, my God. That's younger than Alex Kirshner. I bet they wear... close on the court that they took from home with just a name tag right like britain that's us they went oh man they went one in four at the 2012 olympics which were held in london that's just who did they beat

i'm gonna find out hold on yeah who they beat who lost to the english it's probably belgium again uh let's see they were in group did they beat wales where are you see that's something though that like france is very good at basketball and that implies to me that that by rule england has to be atrocious at it right like there are very few things that both of them value culturally right like it's a good point it's pretty much like soccer and rugby are the only two things here are the scores great britain's first match at the 2012 games lost to russia by 20 points after that lost to Brazil by five points after that lost to Australia by 31 points that's right oh sorry before that they lost to Spain by just one point and in their last match

of the tournament they were owned for at this point they beat China 90 to 58 I'm going to call this the cream team as in scones yeah that's China must have been tanking yeah yeah they're just at that let's go home state wouldn't be the first time honestly with honestly like respectable losses to a pretty good Brazil

and Spain team there so not as bad as I thought they would be China China was with the China was definitely the worst team in the group they were 0 and 5 Great Britain yeah Great Britain had a bad time they should let Stefan Marbury play for the Chinese national league I thought you were going to say for England for his name is Stefan

If England were more acceptable in general of folks coming in from other countries, maybe they wouldn't have this problem. Lord Marbury, absolutely. That sounds like a down-dabry character. Lord Marbury. Lord Marbury. He died of blood poisoning. You know what they would do with this during like post-1066 if somebody came over and

they had to accept him into society is they would say, you're like, oh, he's long-lost French nobility. So, like, they try and, in true English fashion, in, like, the country house era, they would attempt to gussy up your background to make it seem as though they hadn't had to accept you in as though you had always been some kind of upper crusty. Lost cousin of sorts. Yeah, yeah. They should do that with, like, Cody Rhodes. No, but I'm saying, it's really easy to do when you walk in the door, the name like Marbury. Yeah, no, he's already halfway there.

Welcome to the Star Chamber, sponsored by Converse. Yeah. Jason, round three, pick two. Pick two. Pick a June 1st. I think this time around I'm going to go with the most life-changing formative June 1st for me, which would be June 1st, 1999, the day that Napster debuted.

I don't have that on my board. That is very powerful. This was when we went from diving to tape stuff off of the radio and instead began down downloading files that were named poorly by an eight-year-old in Idaho or something. You could put anything on Napster and someone would download it. So why wouldn't you?

As long as you named it something that would be found in a search. Yeah. Yeah. As long as you named it fucking outcast featuring Eminem, featuring Zach Dayloroka, featuring Bono. Wow. Yeah, I bet this is incredible. incredible the the i rl version of this by the way was any uh asian night market where you bought

CDs if you purchased like frank sinatra's greatest hits it would just like you sometimes you would put it on and it would just be a guy in his apartment in Taipei singing like night and day with an ostrich with an ostrich in his apartment because he was breeding ostriches because that's a fun surprise let's go to the bono of this particular crew server what is your third pick. Oh, he's the edge. Yeah. I didn't mean that. Bano sucks. I'm sorry. I just said you were musically gifted. Thank you. Thank you. But you don't suck. I'm sorry. That was thoughtless of me. No, it's okay. It's not okay, but it's okay. I forgive you.

I'm building a team here, and I've got a good one going 1926. I'm adding Andy Griffith. 1926, Andy Griffith, born in Mount Airy, North Carolina. And now he's drunk on a horse, baby. Yeah, you just won. Excellent. Excellent. Marilyn Monroe was also born on this day, but we had to make a call. Spencer, over to you. I am going to take 1738. 1738, the closest I can get you is 1773.

Off. Okay, Spencer, you've made a great pick. Volrad Volta Mide rescues 14 sailors at the Cape of Good Hope from the sinking ship De Jong Thomas by riding his horse into the sea seven times. wait for it both he and his horse Vonk drowned on his eighth attempt Vonk

Wait a minute Wait a second There was a sticker on the horse that clearly said Like rescue attempt limit seven And he was like me He was like that sticker's lying It's got fuel in the tank

It's got yeah this horse isn't on E In one other way was he like you He named his horse vonk. Fair enough. Which was Dutch for that ass. See, look, I stuck with this weird website because every once in a while Dutch history would pull up a banger like this.

Vonk. God, that horse had to be so pissed. I don't think you imagine? He had to be like, I was not built. The horse has been on a boat from the Netherlands to the Cape of Good Hope and then drowned trying to get a fucking sailor who would probably never even fed him an hour.

You realize I'm not a boat, right? You know I have legs, right? You know what the horse was thinking? And this on Domestication Day. This. On the annivers. We never should have bent the knee. We never should have bent the knee.

We never should have let you sit on us. The Dutch horse rebellion began on 2nd of 1770. In memory of Vonk. Vonk strong. All for fucking carrots. With cry, with... Hashtag. strong we can't see we can't find them under the ground because they're clever but we we love

them horses thank you for establishing that this podcast is pro oh oh i got it i thought i thought the horses were tunneling i thought the i thought the horses were like badgers you know writing they're not that wouldn't that wouldn't be the last pick on my draft board of tunneling animals hey kids when your parents tell you not to play around in the sewers it's because because there's horses down there. Sewer horse. Animal of mystery. Hey, look at that.

We're back to Ryan to close out round three. Ryan Picajute for... 1899. 1899. I will give you 1896. Irish playwright George Bernard Shaw marries Charlotte Francis Payne Townsend in London. Fuck.

Sorry. That's nothing. That's nothing. No, it's not. Shaw sucks. Sorry. I should have studied. I think I'd take him over the Palm Pilot guy, though.

Hey, you get to pick again, though. 1910. 1910. I will give you 1950. Oh, here's a great one. Okay. Because I want you to, I'm going to say this, but I want you to picture instead of historically, we know how it went. How you think it went.

Germany conducts the first air raid over England via Zeppelin. We're back to balloons. I am trying to figure out what they thought the element of surprise would be here. Everybody run! Wait, wait. Now we can walk. Everybody ambled. I am not looking up.

I'm deliberately not looking up to see whether this was successful. I am not great at World War I history. I don't want to know. This sounds funny as shit. The thing about World War I is that nothing was successful. No. That's true. Like, they're not any better.

at fighting from the air than they are from fighting in big old horse trenches on the ground. Oh. I think the main thing is like the psychological impact of, boy, the sky is ugly now. Those bastards have made our sky ugly.

How do you reckon how long did this is the, did they fly over any chavs? Because like all this takes is like one guy with a Roman candle and you put these fuckers down. Well what were they do? Like what was, what do you do? I don't

understand what you do when you airwade with a Zeppelin. I don't hear and I didn't look it up for humorous or effect but now I kind of want to know. Basically you're a vandal on a balcony. That's really what you are. A moving balcony. You're just a vandal on a balcony throwing shit. That's all you

are. Doing stupid shit like dropping dynamite by hand. Are you poop? Okay. Are you pooping off the side of Zeppelin? Why wouldn't you? You're in English? I don't know if this website is any good, but this says the first air raid resulted in the death of two civilians.

They got pooped on. Yeah. The same night, another Zeppelin attacked and two more people died. It's very efficient. That's like 5% of the economy to fly that fucking balloon across the water. We got

two of those bastards. Germany wanted World War would go for you. Dr. Robotnik has a higher hit rate than this. Jesus Christ, you guys. Like basically Britain was like, ah, a light breeze. We're good. Real quick, how many Zeppelins are we going to need to subjugate all of England? Several million.

You can't fit enough of them in the sky over London to take out all the people you need to take out. Also, wouldn't you be better just crashing the crashing the, crashing, the Zeppelin into the water suppliers? Statistically, you could have done more. Now, can I give you one? But imagine the Zeppelin approaching, making its kamikaze dive at fucking Majora's mask speeds. Yeah. Oh, God, here it comes.

Oh, God, here it comes two days later. Oh, God, here it comes. The city's been evacuated long before. So, listen, Jane is, Jane Coast is screaming at us right now. Listen, here's the first, and I intend to not learn any more about this, because I know that the more I learn, the less funny it will get. But here is the first line from the Zeppelin Raids article in the UK's National Archives. Before the 20th century, civilians in Britain had been largely unaffected by war. I maintain that this continued during the Zeppelin.

I find myself largely unaffected by the Zeppelin directly above me. The John of the Zeppelins were named after a dude named Count von Zeppelin. Oh, yeah. Yeah, anyway. Yeah, also, like, super pioneer in terms of massive government craft. So, wait, I want to back up for one second. You're telling me that one Dutch dude with a horse saved more people from a sinking ship than Zeppelin's killed? If you ain't Dutch, you ain't much.

Yeah. Basically, the Germans could have smuggled in a guy on a horse with a gun. to run through London, and it would have been way more effective than sending an entire Deppelin. As long as you get five, we're making the Zeppelin crew look like fucking idiots. Yeah, the internal arguments in the German military, the Zeppelin faction versus the anti-Zeplin faction. The anti-Zeplins are like, just give me a goddamn knife.

Not only will I kill three people, I will stab your Zeppelin. Here is an excellent usage of passive voice from this same National Archives article. it was realized that zeppelins were extremely vulnerable to explosive shells. They couldn't have, they couldn't have known. Maybe they mean it was realized, like, how you, like, realize a dream you've always been striving for. And it sounds like that might have been the case, because the next sentence is, zeppelin raids were called off in 1917, by which time, that's one year later, by which time 77 out of the 115 German Zeppelins had been shot down or totally disabled.

Can I give you my favorite? All right, there's two facts about this I love. The German military was going to wisely cancel this program. However, the public clamored for more Zeppelin and donated private money to keep it going. That's how Zeppelin mad Germans were. A big German poster with the Zeppelin says, bring it back. Yeah, no, that was it. It was bring back our big boys.

They love the Zeppelin like they love the big boat. They were, they were like, our large, floaty sons need to come back. I mean, this is how our military works. Yes. This, like, we buy more F-35s. Everybody's got an F-35. Buy more. This is like if we started selling war bonds for the Macy's Thanksgiving parade.

No, except they go-funded. They go-funded me. Yeah, I want to see Charlie Brown bomb the Middle East. They go-funded me this shit. They were like, yes, yes. Bring us the large balloons with sailors on them. I want to see that big fat fanny flying through the air. Our fat sun is ready to shatter heaven.

That was what they all said. And they were like, no, old man, take your psycho fail balloons and put them in the sky. That's what they really did. I don't like it. I don't like it when we launch the Zeppelin and more of our guys die than their guys. Well, too fucking bad. Put that big balloon in the sky. Do you think it's possible that people just liked watching Zeppelons blow up?

They're like, holy shit, that's amazing. Meanwhile, German pride. They're really bored. It's World War I. Nothing is happening. So when you hear that like, oh, literally a headline emerged, that's any different from the day before, we should do that again. And compared to how like slowly the trench, like the lines advanced in the trenches, you're like, holy shit, that Zeppelin's moving, baby. Look at that.

If you fly a Zeppelin over the trench and they're all like blown away by the speed. Oh, they did six months in just an hour. Did that happen? Meanwhile, there is one German general sitting in the corner of the table with his head in his hand, muttering this, if you just give Gustavs. Jetskis. Two guns and a bunch of matches. Everything with London's fucking flammable. I get him a horse. He goes around shooting people in the head. Which is more embarrassing. How did you, how did you fly giant bombs over England and not light England on fire, even on accident? Yeah. It was insanely flammable. They were just like, yeah, children sleep better with a can of open gasoline by their cribs. Like, that was, like, basically the architecture of English society at that point was engineering everything to kill children and make everything catch fire. London, notoriously flammable.

If you have a great fire named after your city, drop something flammable on it. That seems to be, like, no German did the research, and instead they were like, our big floaty psycho boys. Let's put them in the sky and kill three people. I think it's too much pride in German engineering. Yeah. No, our balloon will not crash. Well, you know, it really should. Because, like, if you simply crash the balloon, you went, nope, sorry, German engineering.

Too good to crash. America has the F-35. This is the F-350. I will also, this is my other favorite fact about this is they started test flights on this particular line in 1909 with LZ1. And they crashed so many of them that by the time they got to 1913, they were on LZ-7. So here's the problem. Well, not here's the problem, but part of why this is able

to do this is because it takes relatively little building material to construct something because it's mostly flammable cast. You can actually build a lot of them for less material than you might think. So they could just keep doing this. But they numbered them. So you

do exactly how many times they'd failed, right? Like, oh, that's LZ-22. Where's LZ-21? about that. Like in the sky over England, the ozone is like noticeably thin because of all the German Zeppelins that just keep releasing fumes into the atmosphere. Failure by failure. And today we have Nebraska fans.

By the way, some Russian dude shot one of these down. Like Z-V, like, Z-5 was brought down by gunfire, ground fire at the Battle of Tannenberg, meaning like Vlad is sitting there with his muzzle loader, right? He just pulls it up and shoots it and like a dude in GGA. He's like, whoa, I did it. This is going to look great at the Kingsman. This is going to be so cool. It's going to look so sick.

They're going to make a movie about this one day where Rasputin's just like having lots of sex and kicking ass and fights. And then the other guy's like, what's a movie? Yeah, what's a guy? Shut up to ruining this. Ryan, you had a rough first couple of rounds of this draft, but you have made up a shit time of the ground. Thank you. Thank you. I forget if that was the last pick of the third round of the first pick of the fourth round.

I think it was the first pick of the fourth round. I think that you're right. Spencer, would you like to make the second pick of the four round? I seem to be doing better the farther back in history I go, so I'm going to go to 1520. 1520. 1533. Ah, another what could go wrong here. Anne Boleyn, Henry the 8th's new queen is crowned.

I am just picking nothing. but winners. Vaulk the horse. What do you mean? She's queen. Yeah, yeah. And stayed that way. Yep. Michael Serber. Round four. What's your pick? Let's, so in

1942, America began sending Lindleese materials to the Soviet Union. In a month and a half later, Hitler decided to begin his march on Stalingrad in the winter in the Soviet Union. So just further evidence. so the Germans doing really stupid shit.

Also, the Soviet Union, I think, I might be remembering this wrong, but I remember learning a school that to this day, the Soviet Union's response to the Len Lees Act and to the Linleese materials was like, no, it wasn't helpful, we were fine. All right, Jason Kirk, round four, pick a June 1st.

Let's see here. I'm going to go with a, just to memorialize an American hero. 1966 was the day that a former World War I soldier died. He was also a Brooklyn Robbins outfielder, a gentleman by the name of Dick Cox. I thought you were going towards a different kind of war hero. 1966 is the birthday of one Greg Shiano, June 1st. Yeah, we had to get rid of one dick to, for another to be born. Saw Buddhism works, I think.

Yeah, there's a limit on the number of donks. Buddha said that. All right. Let's see, what do we think? One more round? Yeah, do one more. Oh, wait. So, Ryan, this is the shit.

Ryan pick. Okay. I don't know where else is. I don't think we've done anything from the 20s, so give me 19-20s. So give me 1924. You know what? I'm going to give you a mulligan. Pick another one.

This is just Howard Hughes marrying his first wife. 1928. Howard Hughes marrying his ninth wife. Ah, shit. Ma'am was busy. Tell you what, I'm going to give you 1939. Clevon Little, born in Chickasaw, Oklahoma. I'll take it.

Thank you. I'm helping. Just trust me, I'm helping. Ma'am, I am not from Savannah. Pat Boone was born in 1934 on June 1st in Jacksonville. Fuck that guy. Whoa. That's a violent Pat Boone opinion.

No, fair enough, fair enough. All right. Pat Boone deserves. Can I pick my favorite one from this era? Yeah. I just, I want to trade one of these. So, have you all seen Gone with the Wind? No.

Yes. Okay. You know, okay, so you know Leslie Howard, Ashley, and Gone with the Wind, who is generally regarded by any and all who see the movie as the biggest kind of ninny shit. Went off to war for the British at 50. And on June 1st, was shot down and died,

had his plate shot down by Nazis and died in 1943. Acting. Anyway, sorry, Leslie Howard. I've been besmirching you my entire life. But sounds like you were a lot more about it than you pretended to be on screen. Also born on June 1st in 1959, one Martin, Bronch.

Martin Brundle. On the grid. Asking awkward questions. All right. Jason. I'm torn here. I have two left on my board. Let's just empty the clip.

What you got? Well, okay. First, I'll salute. My favorite birth, June 1st, birth would be 1981, Brandy Carlisle, the singer. Hell yes. She is joined and supported on. Backup. Playing the drums, I think, is Carlos Zambrano. Anytime a 275 pound pitcher is born, it must be heralded by a star in the sky, the number one movie in this day. On this day

in America was by Cheech and Chong and a segregationist congressman died. What a great fucking day. What an excellent year. I think you win. Yeah. What a busy day with lots of great stuff happening. Server. Pick a final June 1st. 1796 Tennessee is admitted as the 16th state of the United States Tennessee has been a university longer than Texas has been a state don't forget that you know it's wild is two years before this in the same day it was Kentucky like June 1st we just keep letting these things yeah we're sorry you should maybe you should maybe really watch out for

watch out for June 1st because look what's getting into the floorboards June 1st, that's, you know, that's a vacation day, so I assume that the people in charge of keeping certain states out of the union, they went on vacation on, like, you know, May 31st. They were like, my son's going to be in charge today. He's in charge of all off. I say Tennessee. God damn it. Did you let Kentucky in? Jesus. All right, Spencer, pick your final June 1st. I am going to take 13, 18. Closest I can get for you is 1215, which is, What is now Beijing, then a city of over one million, is captured and looted for a month by the Mongols under Horse Girl Genghis Khan.

I think you mean liberated? I mean captured and looted for a month. That's a lot. Man. Yeah. Listen, what did I tell you about horse girls? That's a lot. I'm going to say this.

I know we're talking about Genghis Khan. That seems like too much looting. Now, if you loaded a Zeppelin up with horse girls and unloaded it in London, that shit's done. World War II never happened. Exactly. That's right. World War I finished that shit.

Remember, the one general over there just like, give me horse girls and I'll put them in London and say, we'll burn the whole thing down. Horse for out. Fourteen adorable days. Fourteen adorable days. The cutest looting you'll ever see. Instead, you get the stupid balloons.

All right. I have one more fact, by the way. about my guy do that and then I will I will tell some more my guy Woolrad Walter made

the guy who rescued everybody with his majestic horse Vonk he was not immediately a hero the general opinion of the captain

and the general opinion at the castle was that he was what are you fucking doing that's a horse was that he was an officious fool who lost his life

unnecessarily and in the first official report back to Holland he's not even mentioned, though considerable space is devoted to the 18 boxes of money providentially saved.

Hell yeah. Money can't buy, oh wait, money can't buy horses. Fuck. But it can't buy horses respect. It's right. It can't buy the stupid balloons. That's why it took so long in 4,000 BC. They didn't have money.

Holly, before you regales with more June 1sts in history, I would like it to be known that June 1st is the day every year where we celebrate one of the worst-named international days ever. Is it World Milk Day? It's World Milk Day. That is one of the worst phrases I've ever heard.

International Dairy Tummy. Milk is fine. Milk is fine, but somehow putting the word world in front of it makes me uncomfortable. I think it makes it appropriate that our Mr. Irrelevant pick, the final pick, June 1st, 2022 is the return of the shut down fullcast, which is the milk tummy of podcasts. Zeppelins!

Zeppelin! The stupid balloon! Horse girls versus balloon boys, the story of Germany's World War I planning. You know, we can write our own textbooks now. And that's really just what we're doing.

I think we can sell that to Netflix. I think we can sell horse girls versus balloon boys. Just to go back in time of World War I and give the journey, and be like, hey, listen, all you need to do is invent Love Island, and England will come to a standstill. Balloon Boys of Summer. They will produce nothing.

This war will be over. I'm going to go light down now. Let's take some calls. We have a call line now. We have a call line now. But 704-765-2278 is the shutdown full-cast. What are we calling it? Power line.

The power line. hour of power I don't know both of those suck I don't know let's call it something else but we have we have some messages

from some folks who when we tweeted out this number blindly did just call in and talk to it we appreciate that server do you want to start with 435

DJ from Utah this is the only person who called in and left his name so he gets to go first hey this is DJ from Utah what's up

end of message Thank you, DJ. Guys, what's up? Hey, DJ. The Utah, DJ, you're going to hear a lot of Imagine Dragons. Whatever it takes. Oh, that came on Garth Channel yesterday. Garth had Imagine Dragons on the Garth Channel yesterday.

Serber, what's up with you? Oh, with me? I replaced my Tahoe. Oh, with what? Well, it's a Ranger, but it's just a, Georgia Red, and I felt like it was a fair trade. Okay, okay. Have you, what have you got emblazoned on the back of it yet?

Have you decorated it? I put a hand in the dirt sticker on that sunbitch. Okay, okay, good, good. It looks fine as hell in the back of the window. Um, but I do miss the Tahoe and... I miss the full cast. Thanks, buddy. Hope you all are well.

Oh, there was more. That was nice. He probably doesn't miss it now. No. Probably not now. It's back. Okay. I'm calling about the U.S. Tahoe you posted on Craigslist.

Already sold it, buddy. If you could give me a call back, I'd really appreciate it. Oh! Oh, that was him hearing through the ether that you had already sold your Tahoe, clearly. Yeah, poor guy. Sorry, man. Next time. They move fast, man.

People just love the Tahoe. Oh. The area code 253 is Tacoma. So I guess that's what it's. It sounds like up there when they attempt the vowel sounds. Yeah, but I guess now being an official Fine Bomb cast member, he's addressing me. So, yes, that's doing it right. I'm going to give that a four out of five.

I don't know what this number is supposed to be doing, but I'm pretty excited that it's up on the internet. So I just dialed it. I just want to point out true sammy or tri-tip only has four ingredients on top of it. If you're using like a sauce of any variety, you're doing it wrong. It should be onion powder, garlic powder, salt, and pepper. You do that over some white coals until internal temperature reaches around 125 to 135. Things will end up all right. Do that with some pinto beans.

You got good Santa Maria barbecue. Thanks. Non-West Coast dwellers, have y'all ever tried Santa Maria tri-tip? It is very fine. Quality. Outstanding. Yes, I'm not one to argue, but I'm not a meat prescriptionist in general. There's probably another way to do tri-tip.

but I will happily accept this as your definitive answer. I like that, not a meat prescriptionist. That's a good way to be. Yeah. Hi, this is the guy who found the rib truck that was like $20 for $49, the prime rib. I went back to check and I was gone now, but I'm planting some sweet corn right now. Do you all want some in like two and a half months or so? All right, bye.

I'd love some corn. Yeah, I'll take some. This caller is referring to a truck that was, there are several of them that have been spotted around Atlanta where you can get via this truck's advertisement, 20 rib-bys for $40. I found one a couple weeks ago, which is what set off this conversation,

that said 20 for 35. I need to know everything. Is this a splinter cell of the 2440 group? Are these warring siblings? Are they lovers? Do they have an extremely heated and a little too rough intercompany softball league? Yeah. What is the deal with the different pricing on the steak trucks of Atlanta?

Please call in 704-765 2278. Oh, no. Oh! What are you talking about in here? I'm talking about the fuck-out? thank you thank you yeah thank you congressman

oh wow thank you hey I don't know if this is where I call to remind people that the Georgia Bulldogs are the reigning national champions but it's been a long time

since Florida 1-1 it's true it's been a really long time yeah I'm glad Ryan wasn't here to hear that that might have killed him hey this is shut down forecast

I'm a Georgia Bulldog just calling to say congratulations to me myself and I on the great win that I did. Yep, that's right. We're the national champion.

But I will always, in my heart, love and support pit. Thank you very much to all of you shut down full castors, especially, let's see, well, I was going to say, especially Holly, and I think I'll stick with that, especially Holly. Thank you. Okay, goodbye.

I will take credit for this national championship. Thank you, caller. Won't he do it? And by he, he means him. Hey, I was just wondering when y'all were bringing the Tahoe around the shop and mine's been a little lonely I'll talk to you later

go dogs I got to tell you that genuinely hit me in the heart I know these four Tahoe needs a playmate the Tahoe dog park oh man oh man is that our first new business idea

this is our first new business of the new era we are establishing a dog park but for cars Oh, hell yes Hi Will pad Go dogs Is that legal

Hail Hydra Other things of that sort Oh this is a spy That's a spy Yeah That's somebody trying to sneak into our ranks By saying all the shit He knows we like

Georgia and Alabama And Squid Yeah Hydra's a squid right This person needs to show ID Yeah Sorry don't believe you Wow, how about this?

I mean, I'm told there's no one on the other end. But, I mean, one time I put a message in a Mountain Dew bottle and threw it into Lake Michigan. And I haven't, I never heard any back, but I'm confident someone got it. That's the spirit. Oh, bye Thank you for bringing a little Godspeed You Black Emperor to this podcast. That is all the voicemails we have for today.

If you would like your thoughts heard on the shutdown forecast, you may call us at 704-765-2278. That's 704-S-O-L-Cast. Hail to the Sun-God raw. Hundreds of Andes. Thousands of Andes. Gallup.

We're going to go ahead and ask everyone in earshot, go ahead and please submit your dad disasters, your dad disasters for next week's episode. We will be surveying a catalog of the finest paternally generated for just absolute catastrophes that have been perpetrated by dads. All right, so go ahead, submit those to shutdown fullcast at Gmail. That is your preferred. You could go ahead. Can we leave that on the hotline? Yeah, you can hit us on Twitter. You can leave us a voicemail.

You can email us. But tell us, we're going to continue our beloved disasters series, which is already a podcast playlist of its own on Spotify, lovingly curated by Ryan. If you've never seen it, check it out. We're pretty united and thinking it's our best work. But in honor of Father's Day this year, we are collecting dad disasters.

Dadsasters. Count von Zeppelin was a dad. I have no doubt that he was a dad. Anyone who loves Zeppelin's that much as a dad. Yeah. Now, are these parent, are you guys thinking in terms of parenting disasters or are you thinking about your own fathers? Well, with my dad, there's a fair number to choose from.

I know parenting disasters could be its own show. So maybe that's a feature disaster, but. I mean, one of my first. Some mom disasters are actually dad disasters. Oh, yeah. What we're looking for here is dad disasters. Yeah, dad in spirit. As always on the shutdown forecast, gender is imaginary, just like money.

Anyone can be an uncle. My dad, my dad deciding to cut my hair to save money for the first day of seventh grade. That's a mom disaster. That's a parenting disaster. It is dad forward, though. Dad thought, you know, I'm going to go ahead and give this boy a real haircut for the first day of seventh grade, thus ensuring that seventh grade would be one of the two or three worst years of my life, just getting it off to a great start.

This featured into our very first ever disaster show, which was long-care disasters. But if you would like an example, look to the time my father, on his maiden voyage with his power washer, severed the cable and phone lines going into our home. One time I sat and watched my dad go mudding in a brand new 1987 Mercury Sable. Introducing your kids to finances and give calls. cards can be quite a task. You don't want to limit them with traditional gift cards that only work for one specific store or give them a credit or debit card and have them run unsupervised. But don't worry, because something epic is here. The epic gift card is a gift card for kids and teens that

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