Shutdown Fullcast - Jim Harbenheimer

Episode Date: July 26, 2023

SHOW NOTES Did you know there’s a theme song that upsets nearby dogs more than the Casio Dog one? Right, so it’s this one Ryan does some cross-pond anthropology and spots a legendary creature Todd plays the hero! Hello, Todd! Spencer discovers “The Most Hooters Death Possible” How basic knowledge of Gronk can help you meet new friends abroad Awww, Harburgers Jason has prepared some Sober Michigan Discipline Content The team practices Bryan VanGorder awareness The team offers up great Barbenheimer moments in history We implore you to visit sunny preownedairboats.com Learn more about your ad choices. Visit podcastchoices.com/adchoices

Welcome to the shutdown to the shutdown full cast. You are listening to the internet's only college football podcast. I'm Spencer Hall. Joining me as always is Ryan Annie, Jason Kirk, Holly Anderson, and on the ones that two is Michael Serber. I have a question. You'll notice that's a bigger cast than we had last week because somebody was out gallivanting, out visiting the old sod, going to talk to daddy. That's a weird way to put it. I'm the first person to ever put it that way. I don't like that.

no everyone hated that you went to england right that's true yeah not just england i think you went to england plus because you went to liverpool yes the hell were you doing in liverpool boy i was going to the open championship at royal liverpool mate um like a lynx course is ugly it looks like a mistake on television it's funny because on television it looks terrible In person, it actually looks pretty nice because you're like, what it is is imagine like somebody had an open field and they like carved paths into it and like made some of it. Um, um, kemped. Like, like, it is, it does have like a naturalistic enjoyability to it in person, but it

photographs terribly. It really looks bad on TV. Same. Just like me. I already, yeah. yeah you do have that other question you are you are the lynx course of human i agree my face is like lincoln's face you don't want to get stuck in there oh boy you're gonna have a bad time so the answer is probably probably looks better with a beard

my question is also this um you mentioned actually seeing someone in oh ohio state gear yeah when you were there yeah i saw a man in an ohio state hat i think that was the only thing he had. I tried to keep track of everybody that I have a list somewhere. Let me go find it. I tried to keep a list of all the American sports paraphernalia that I saw while I was just at the tournament. So like I saw somebody on the plane from London to Manchester wearing a Raiders shirt. I didn't count that.

I saw. Why not? You know what, in retrospectation? I'm not objecting. I'm just here. I just want to any reason. On the flight from Nashville to Manchester, or to London, rather, I saw a guy with two Bass Pro Shop hats, one he was wearing, and one was affixed to his backpack.

A backup of sorts. Yes. He was ready. Oh, I love that. Can't be too careful. Let's see. Hold on. I have my list here.

I'm sorry. Let's see. We have New England Patriots, Seattle Seahawks, Vancouver Canucks, Detroit Tigers, Ohio State, Buckeyes. Oregon Ducks, Arizona Cardinals, New Orleans Saints. Wait, wait, wait. Somebody decided that the Arizona Cardinals, that was their go for let's go to the British Open. So this is my, this is my, my guess is that there is a certain type of British sports fan who just likes wearing NFL gear because it's like kind of quirky and kind of different from seeing like a, you know, you can

see plenty of people wearing like dudes in in beer bars were in Chelsea yes yes I think I think that's exactly it where where Premier League stuff is ubiquitous there and you don't even think about it but it can kind of stand out in America I think that's what NFL gear is because like and I heard I heard the guy wearing the Patriots hat talk and he was definitely British and I'm like this seems inconsistent like you're wearing the logo of the people that kicked your ass. Why are you doing that? America had loyalists. That's true. Yeah. So I guess it stands to reason that he's, that he's, can I just pause for a second and say how lovely this is that we have our very own

spiritual successor to Paul Bettney sketching the Galapagos creatures in Master and Commander? And here's Ryan just bringing back. I'm like, I'm picturing him with like a little notebook just shading in the edges of the Bass Pro hat as it dangles off the backpack. I think this is lovely. I saw Chicago White Sox, Cleveland Browns, Notre Dame, Michigan State. I saw like three Vegas Golden Knights thing, so I have to assume this week were together. Sure. Buffalo Bills and Philly's hat.

But this is not the most important thing. The most American sports thing I saw at the Open Championship was John Daly. Was he passed out at a flower bed? So we went on Friday and Saturday. Friday's right before, for those who don't follow golf, Friday's right before the cut when all the golfers who haven't had a good couple of days don't get to play anymore Saturdays after the cut. John Daly definitely got cut.

The only reason he's in this tournament is because he's a former British Open winner. You should Google John Daly, British Open Streaker. If you really want a delightful Google image search, don't do that on work computer. But we saw I don't advise searching John Daly Open anything We sat in the Grand Sands At the 18th Green

And so we saw like I don't know 50 golfers come through and finish their round We saw we saw the champion Brian Harmon Go dogs Sink an eagle putt Which was very indicative of what he was doing I saw a lot of other good golfers But we saw John Daly come through

And you know it was John Daly A because you're like Why is South Carolina Santa here and because he's wearing hooters branded pants and his bag is hooters sponsored as well so yes please go ahead when you say hooters branded what made you aware that these are

are they branded in the zoobaz style is there a tasteful patch is he wearing the hot pants I think no they're not oh man fuck that would be good no they're long pants and I think they just had like the hooters owl on them in like a print pattern Okay, fair enough.

So we watch John Daly. He gets a very big... That's his Wimbledon outfit, basically. John Daly gets a nice... Everybody in the crowd loves that John Daly is there. So he does his thing. And that's it. We've seen him be done with the British Open.

Cut to about eight hours later, the Airbnb that we're staying in, it happens to be about two blocks from the Liverpool Hooters, the only Hooters in Liverpool. And my brother, who we've mentioned on this podcast before, the nefarious Todd, Todd says, I bet John Daly's in that Hooters. And I'm like, I don't think so,

like, I don't think he is. Come on the fuck else. I don't think he is. The Tampa radar is going off. So, Todd, no,

listen, Todd's a doctor, man. Sure. So we go up. He can sense heartbeats. So we're like, well,

we might as well, we might as well go check. Right? So we go up to the door of the Hooters, and two women who are, they're not bouncers per se, and they're not even checking ID, but they're just there to, like, convince you, yes, you should come to Hooters while you're in Liverpool. He asked them, is John Daly in there?

And they say, oh, yeah, yeah, yeah. But it's in a way where you're like, you're just going to say that no matter what. So my brother goes in, and he texts us, and he's like, yep, John Daly's in here. So we all go in. And John Daly is not. Wait, you say we, sorry, I keep interrupting, you say we all. Myself, my brother, my father, and my brother-in-law. Guys being dude.

So we go into the land. He's rolling deep into the Liverpool. Go into the Liverpool Hooters. And, you know, John Daly is in fact there. And I know that because he is not like off in a booth, off in a private room, squirreled away somewhere. There is a, like, central table that seats about 20 people. John Daly is sitting at the fucking head of it.

King fucking Arthur. Hold on. I haven't shared this one publicly, but I'm going to share on the thread, and maybe we'll do something with it at some point. Oh, we've got to make like an oil painting of this. This is, I got to find it. All right, here is my photo proof that John Daly was at Hooters.

I have texted it to the four of y'all. examining transmission green bubbles come on right now oh my okay you know my you know what my first thought was my first thought was that

jb field looks great yes you took the words right out of my mouth I honestly wasn't expecting the posedness I was thinking this was a walk past kind of thing but this is like a he's very used to just like all right it's time to do this

yes um and I got to hand it to my brother. We have a Halloween calling for your professor. Todd, this is one of the greatest called shots you've ever had to insist that John Daly would be in the Liverpool Hooters and he fucking was. This is a thing, though.

He got arrested at the Hooters here in Winston-Salem after playing in what used to be the Crosby. Yeah, when he passed out in a flower bag. Yeah, like, but it is a thing. Like, when he plays a tournament, he goes to the Hooters nearby because he eats and drinks for free. I don't even think that's leave. to arrest John Daly and a Hooters.

If he had been at another town, would he have even bothered going, like one without a Hooters? I think he would have gone, but then he would have immediately fled to the nearest Hooters. Like, it's... If... It's sort of his... Like a salmon. Well, it's like his embassy that he can escape to, if need be, and... Sanctuary.

The International law cannot touch me here. As like the Lake Kingdom in Mario Odyssey, where he has to catch the bubbles every few minutes. Yes. As a citizen of Hooters, you may... may not violate my rights by taking me out of this establishment. St. Andrew's Hooters.

He has to breathe, he has to breathe the thicker air inside the Hooters. Regular air is too thin to penetrate his blood. I don't know if Scotland has a single hooters. It doesn't appear as St. Andrews does. Scotland Hooters.

In this one instance only, we have to give the leg up to England. Listen to this. Listen to this. I googled Scotland Hooters and every link that comes up is tilted kilt. So they... Now I'm very confused because

Hooters of Nottingham claims that they are the UK's only hooters And I can Now I'm like, did I hallucinate an entire Hooters location? Was it a pop-up? I didn't know Nottingham was real Yeah, it is. I thought that was just in Robin Hood.

Yeah. Okay. No, it's real. They're open until 11, Ryan. Okay. Feel much better. uh glasgow was opening a hooters i don't know if that worked out or not but that's the place for there there is one location in australia oh no i was going to say the scottish shooters was going to be

dangerous because that's where you're most likely to encounter the ladies who won't fight you but australia might have it beat i now i've tucked a scorpion inside my corset asking the internet does russia have Hooters. Oh, it's even better. It's even better. From a 2014 story, Andrei Kirolenko brings Hooters to Russia. Legend.

Well, there's the episode title. Russians and Americans are more like than different huge sports fans who are looking for great food in good times. April 5th, 2023, PR Newswire. Atlanta Dateline Hooters has launched a limited time

franchise incentive program as it March its 40th year in business. Y'all want to buy a Hooters? As an iconic brand with global appeal and 100% unaided brand awareness, they're not lying. Well, John Daly's doing the work.

I'm confident there were only people. in that Hooters because of John Daly. Yeah. So, yeah, that's my recommendation. If he go to Leverpool, Hooters, baby. John Daly might be there. Hooters Czech Republic is my favorite.

Just looking at the list. Hooters, I won. The first Hooters was in Clearwater. I did not know that. Hooters Hungary. Oh, God. Oh, no. No, no, no, no, no, no.

So there's a story about one of the founders of Hooters He died the most Hooters death possible Which is he was Blown out of his His cigarette boat racing Across Tampa Bay and never found He hit he was going like nine zillion miles an hour On his cigarette boat

Hit a wave And that wave knocked Knocked everyone the fuck out of the boat Instantly That's how he would have wanted to go that's probably true I do have one more travel tip to offer as well

okay go right so people at the open were very friendly like random people would just sort of chat you up and they would chat you up for longer than you expect

or at least longer than I expected they'd sort of want to have an extended conversation and I realize that I owe a big thanks to our collective friend Nate Scott because he armed me with the only piece of information I needed to talk to British sports fans about soccer.

Because I don't follow soccer closely enough to, like, have a meaningful conversation about what's going on. And, like, I would look like a fool. But Nate has provided me with ongoing updates on the beloved British soccer idiot known as Jack Greelish. And being able to have that. Like, that is my advice is if you guys. go to a new, if you go to a part of the world you haven't been to before, figure out who the sports, like, lovable sports. Who is the gronk?

Yes, figure out who each, yes, Jack Grealish is, that's perfect. He's 100, like, to put, to, to, to provide. Like, I don't know a lot about him other than the, the gin thing, but he's basically their grok, right? So here's what, after, after this most recent World Cup, when England got knocked out by, I want to say it was France. is that right um historically yes it sounds painful yes yeah it was it was france in the quarter final this is what jack grealish did to make himself feel better he flew to new york city to stay in the

plaza hotel and he decided to like eluiz he decided to reenact as much as he could of home alone two lost in new york a movie i was kidding holy shit this is this is a real quote i didn't get to meet the mad pigeon woman but i never realized how much stuff had been filmed there in central park yep beautiful man so so that was that's that's that was my that was my uh way in to have a conversation with a brit about soccer was jack grailish being just incredible But lovably stupid, but lovably so. Holly, thank you for introducing the concept of Tesco gronk.

But I suspect that's true. I suspect every major, like, sports league or culture has a gronk, right? Every country has a J.R. Smith. Yes. Yes. Yes. So find out who that is. Like blessed idiot.

Blessed idiot, I think, is the proper term for that. And you can translate one to one by paying the name of the beloved local. convenience store and just appending it to the name. Like if you were trying to describe him, if you were trying to describe gronk in America, you know, he's what, he's QT gronk.

Yeah. Sure. Or he's cute really. I did have one more golf thing to ask you, and I can't believe I'm saying that. But were you familiar with what, well, you're familiar with what happened?

And did you hear live what happened to Tyrol Hatton? This is the funniest thing I've ever seen. So, in all my time watching golf, which is not great. So I saw him finish the 8th. This is on the 18, right? So you saw him?

You were there when he hit it off the team? No, I was at the green. So what I thought he, I thought he just had a normal hole. I didn't realize until later what exactly happened. So you're there for him to land it to, okay, we should back up. We're going to back up.

So you were at the 18th green where you saw him use his putter. You saw this. You saw him use his putter as a rifle to shot guns. Yes. Yes. And nobody. And nobody knew what that was about.

It was very confusing. He putt it out. And we all thought, I think we all thought he had finished with a par. And then he turns and uses his putter backwards towards the hole. And we're like, is he mad at somebody? Is he mad at the hole itself? And yeah, he was mad at the hole itself. So, unbeknownst to Ryan, if you were watching on television, what happened all the way back at the start of that hole.

I'll give you the shot-by-shot breakdown. First T-shot, out of bounds. So what are, sorry, I'm not a, I'm not a golver. What are his choices here? He can land in bounds on the fairway. He could land in the rough or he could just hit. Sorry, what are his paths forward from hitting out of, if you hit out of bounds off the T, what do you have? What are the consequences?

We have many non-golvers here. Well, he's going to, yes. You get to do it again. You get, you have to do it again? Yeah. You say you have that stroke, you take a penalty stroke, and now you hit again from the T-box and you are, this is your third shot, even though you've made literally no progress. It's now third down.

That's fun. Yes. So anyway, what happened? He did it again. Did it again. Rocked right out of found, and it basically went and he landed clean on the first hole. there's a problem he was playing the 18th. That's a special skill.

Yeah. So shot one, penalty incurred, shot three, another attempt out of bounds. So this would put him on shot five? Yes. A shot, his third shot off the tee. Which is his fifth shot. Which is his shot. This is great.

Both of these, by the way, went wide right. And then on shot five, he did it again, a 344-yard drive onto the first hole. So on shot six, he finally hits a shot. This is all happening on television. He's gone way right, way right, way right. And then shot six is a 239-yard dribble left into the rough. Which is really shot seven. That is.

And then he's- Florida State's exact trajectory. It is. He was good. I'm proud of you, buddy. And then on then seven, eight, nine, he goes in, gets the tap in four, quadruple bogey

when he started. Oh, I was going to tell this part. Yeah. I think he was two under when he started at the hole and he ended at two over? Two over, baby. So that's the other thing. When you're just there,

at 18 specifically, they don't have any digital billboards. It's all like Fenway Park at that. Okay. So you just know what his score, and it's, even though his score is obviously not going to be, what it is starting

the 18th, we just knew like oh, okay, well, he's putted this and it didn't seem like he had any big problems, so it was very surprising when they like manually changed his final score and be like, what the, what? What just happened here? A lot.

Yeah, he did not miss the cut. I thought he was in danger of that. He ended up posting three under the next day and then finished it even pause. So he toughed it. Oh, I'm sorry. I thought he knocked himself down. Oh, he toughed it. out. No. And you know what? To everybody who did miss the cut, think about that. Dude shot

a fucking nine on the last, on the last hole before the cut. And he made it in ahead of you. Yeah, well, he's the one who's not hanging out of Hooters. So that's true. That's true. Yeah, I got to tell you, nothing about John Daly's demeanor suggested like, oh, I would like to keep playing this golf tournament for two more days. you want to you want to take my clothes right now they're very heavy oh no i don't have to work that is still not the worst uh single hold pGA army armor and i'm going to introduce you to the best sports term ever heard it is my new favorite mummy armor at the 1927 shawnee open hit a 17 on the scorecard tommy armor knocked 10 ball out of bounds and got a 17 which

leads to a 15 plus, a 17 total. That 15 plus, if you get that in the birdie par bogey nomenclature system, guess what it's called if you get a 15 plus. A teradactyl? You would not guess it, but you will love it. You are so close. No. An albatross.

No, Jason is so close. It is an archaeopteryx. I was fucking going to say that. Fuck you. Let me cook. No, no, Jason, I'll give you, I'll give you full credit. That was awesome. Thank you.

it is it is called an archaeopteryx if you get a 15 plus several people like we're telling me oh spencer should have to do his golf penance on this course you would you would not make it through the day you would you would absolutely abandon the round probably at whole 10 10 was the worst one I saw and I think you would just walk off and cry at that point what made 10 so terrifying Walk off and cry. Please, those would be tears of joy. I can walk up. Going to Hooters.

Free, I'll go to Hooters with John Daly. Ten is a par five for, in normal times. They made it a par four for the tournament. The fairway appears to be a bowling alley that has suffered several geological faults. It is narrow and twisty. There are no good places to land. We saw no good approach shots after that. There's, it's easy to go out of bounds right.

It's not easy to, like, the putting surface is tilted in a better. It's the one hole on the course that I watched where everybody was just like, please just get power in leave. Like nobody was trying to get a low score on 10. Everybody was just trying to survive and be done with it. and it would absolutely choose Spencer up and and spin about 17 is the other hole that people were talking about which is this par three that uh is is up sort of elevated and is surrounded by like the like you could be in a bunker that was taller than you you would have to hit a golf

ball out of a bunker like 10 feet tall yeah i enjoy i enjoy any golf course where you can one potentially die in a bunker from exposure or two as I also saw in this tournament absolutely like annihilate a fence as a some dude took a driver off the deck out of the rough and he hit a fence and it made this fantastic melodious ting as he as his shot annihilated this event it was great yeah

yeah it's uh it's pretty good it's I guess the way I have tried to explain it to people who don't care or watch golf and it's a tennis metaphor so it's not that useful um it is very much the french open where it just like oh you play on this completely different surface and everything you're good at you're will be a detriment to you now you can hit the ball super far well that's a bad idea here you're an idiot have a great time uh but it was fun and i got to go to liverpool hooters So really, you know, that made the whole thing worthwhile. So speaking of Hooters, which has hamburgers.

There we go. That's good. Lean in. Before we reveal the list of teams, can I do, I know everyone already knows, but when we reveal the list of teams that Harbaugh is missing, can I do a countdown? I have a prepared piece of content about these opponents. Sure.

So, according to reports, let's, I forget exactly who reported this. I think Ross Dengenger reported it first. Okay, so Ross has reported that because of some NCAA bullshit, Jim Harbaugh appears to be receiving an equally bullshit punishment, which is being suspended from Michigan's first four games of this season. So those four opponents, right? I'm going to run through the first, the challenging opponent. opponents that are being faced this year by top 10 level teams.

All right, it's going to be more than 10, but top 10-ish teams, right? Like, for example, LSU is playing away against Florida State at Mississippi State and Arkansas, right? That's three potential losses in four games, right? LSU starting tough. The Florida State game is, is that Orlando? Is that one of those, like, away? Yeah, it's neutral slash away. Okay.

Texas is playing at Alabama at Baylor. Two tough games. Bamma's playing Texas and Ole Miss. This is tough for most teams. Florida State, LSU and At Clemson, Utah, Baylor, Florida, UCLA. Ohio State's going to Notre Dame. Notre Dame is also playing NC State and in Ireland against Navy. Why would you do that?

The worst ideas I've ever heard. You're crossing the water to play Navy? Yep. They're going to sink you. Clemson, FSU and Duke, Penn State, Iowa, Illinois, West Virginia. We're getting less challenging here, but still, you know, all you better actually participate. Tennessee, Virginia, and at Florida. Georgia, their nemesis, South Carolina.

Even USC, according to Massey ratings, is playing nothing but teams ranked between number 60 and number 110 in their first four games. Michigan, here are the four opponents that Jim Harbaugh will have to sit out against. Again, according to Massey ratings. Number 70, East Carolina, number 82 Rutgers, number 116 UNOV, and number one third. 30, Bowling Green, all four at home. I love Big Ten scheduling. So Bowling Green's the worst team? Goodness, gracious me.

Bowling Green will be in contention for the worst team in the country, yes. And Michigan will get overcoming adversity credit for beating them. Can we all remember for remembering bowling green at this time? I remember. Their staff is always fun to remember.

It sure is. Mm-hmm. That'd be Scott Leffler. Mm-hmm. Former Michigan assistant. And former Florida assistant. Former Michigan quarterback. Ooh. Former Auburn something.

I don't know what you'd call what he did there. Yeah. Former Auburn assailant? Former Auburn check casher, baby. Because that's what he did there. Remember, Scott Leffler got a lot of, I think Scott Leffler has collected like at least $5 million with the paychecks based strictly on the notion that he had something to do with Tom.

Like the cottage industry of people who have shared a fart in an elevator with Tom Brady and gotten paychecks off of it is not insignificant. Scott Leffler is one of those, even though, hey, you try to go on six and seven and losing the Quick Lane Bowl at Bowling Green. I couldn't do that, frankly. I could not do that. I couldn't. He went four and eight of Bowling Green.

I couldn't go four and eight at Bowling Green. This was one of Brian Van Gorders' most recent stops. He made that really an all-star staff. and then left for a high school in Alabama, a high school in Florida, where he went, it looks like he went two and seven and then resigned.

So Brian Van Gorder is again on the loose, as far as I can tell. Wait, wait, wait, wait. Who did he have with him down there? Didn't he have some other, like, famous gadabout coach with him? Yeah. God.

I'm sorry to completely slow this down. I just want to make sure we're aware of all, just as a matter of security Mark Hudspeth thank you oh god yeah Brian I think Mark Hudson was the coach Brian Mangorter was the DC at this at Gulf Shores in Alabama this I love this fried green tomatoes remake I love it so much oh and now I am seeing that Brian Mangorter is back at Gulf Shores oh okay so is he again so he was as I understand he was the head coach at the Florida school and now he's back

yes yes he was so he was so he was went defensive coordinator at Gold Shores High School, head coach at American Heritage Del Rey, and then back to defensive coordinator. We can find this out pretty easily, probably on the school website. Does he have to teach high school classes while this is happening, like most football coaches? Does he have to teach health? Is Brian Van Gogh is somebody's civics teacher? Yeah.

I want to know. he replaced the in between the non-consecutive terms of Brian Van Gorder. Paul Rhodes was the defensive coordinator. This high school is like, what is quite the home for lost college boys? Brian Van Gorder on his wiki, his resume is 27 items deep. It's incredible. Is he coaching or kiting checks at this point? And there's not very many.

many like there's a couple where it's like promoted from linebackers coach to dc but it's mostly just bouncing around god the u.s postal service must fucking hate brian jesus another forwarding notice god damn it can you just keep a job for two years there's so many forwarding notices it's like he's like uh fuck it i can't think of the word go scrap that one are you a bad enough dude to properly send mail to Brian Van Gorder. Like, you know there's somebody in an apartment complex

somewhere who's like, fuck, I keep getting mail for Brian Van Gorter. God damn it. Didn't know if you subscribed to Cat Fancy. Keep that. Brian Fing Gord is like, that magazine's not what I thought it was going to be.

American Heritage School, this high school in, you're fucking pervert, Florida. Plantation, Florida. Yeah, he was the coached there almost 40 years ago and then came back. Wow. Man. He's like a living ghost.

It's nothing but unfinished business for Brian Van Corter. Yes. There were like lots of stints in Georgia. Yeah, yeah. So anyway, yeah. So is that creepy sounding American Heritage High School? Is that in plantation? That's what it says.

oh good god that is the most fascist high school in america just go ahead american heritage plantation in american heritage high school in plantation florida good christ yeah that sounds made up it's summer major league baseball's in full swing and there's one app for you if you want last minute deals on major league baseball games and that's gametime that's right game time dot co i'm looking at the app right now and i'm picking out america's team really the kansas city royals uh and at coffman stadium just in a couple days there's tickets available for 16 dollars and then well i don't want to up the stakes too much here but let's go to next week it looks like they're playing the chicago white socks there are tickets available right now

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where he's just going to run a fucking layup line on Bowling Green. But yeah. And then when Harbaugh comes back, he's staring down the barrel of Nebraska. And let's see, Nebraska, Minnesota, Indiana, Michigan State, Purdue, which is like, all right, we are really gently increasing the difficulty here. No shade of Minnesota. And then the gauntlet of Penn State, Maryland and Ohio State, all three equally, equally capable. Good.

My theory, and this is entirely conjecture. And so this is all being done as part of a negotiated settlement of sorts. And, like, I think their offensive coordinator and their tight ends coach are probably going to get a game suspension. The former DC who works for the Ravens now for John Harbaugh is going to get like a year of a show cause. My suspicion is that the NCAA told Jim Harbaugh. They're like, all right, here's the deal. You can get one game if you admit that you lied about the burgers. Or you can get four games if you insist that you're not lying about it.

And he was like, give me five fuck faces. I don't care. I will never admit to burger crime. Not once. I will never roll on the burger joint. I'm not a burger rat. You pulled the Michelle Rodriguez. Do you remember when Michelle Rodriguez had a choice between community service or jail?

And she said, fuck it. I'm not a sandwich snitch. Yeah. So my unfathom. Marbaugh had any. Yeah. They're like, all you got to do is say you're sorry. I'm never going to be.

sorry for hamburgers. Do you hear me? I will never apologize for eating hamburgers in 10 in the morning. I'm the coach at Michigan. They'll fire me for that. The founding fathers

didn't kick England in the teeth so I would apologize for burger breakfast. You know what I'm going to do when I miss our fucking nooner against UNLV? I'm going to stick around and eat more goddamn burgers.

I hope he should. shows up in the stands for all of these games, just double-fisting cheeseburgers the whole time. The cameras would not leave him. No, no. And it's, you know, ECU's down by 30. And, yeah, and like a lot of people have gotten excited. Like, oh, ho, ho, ho, EU can be frisky sometimes.

And it's like, yeah, I mean, all these games are going to be like three or four touchdowns and then some. So don't count on it, but, you know, maybe, I guess. Could be competitive for a while. All of this because he didn't pay in cash. All of that. Again, again, we have returned to the drug dealing or being a college football coach, best business practices. Don't pay with a card. Don't pay with a card.

Don't pay with a university card. Yeah, and don't talk to the feds. Did he pay for the burger with a check? James Harball. Just sitting. I can see him, too. He's writing it out so slow. And you know he definitely does a strong line after the zero, zero over a hunt.

A hard line. Can't have anyone writing that in there. You never know. A big mean line. This is the offensive line of check writing right here. Nobody's. No hop-on. No hop-ons on the hardball family account.

Can't have that. Because it says five here, but they might change it to five million. I've seen blue. blank check so many things can go wrong it's the only documentary guy who's only seen blank check I really don't want to know what like Jim Harbaugh's DVD shelf is like eight DVDs max and I don't want to know what any of them are facing the giants Jim Harbaugh favorite um and a fair to remember he's there's one of those in there Star Wars 1, allegedly.

I know that. Seeing that. That is definitely a film he has seen. Band of Brothers. One of those, but not two. Yeah. Right? Like, he doesn't go, he's not going to delve any further.

He's like, I have a war story. Just the first ones before they get all huggy. Exactly. Before they bonded. Just the parts with the violence. Googling, I have only seen a Star Wars reference, and it's a wonderful life. That's it. That's all I got.

I'm telling you, facing the Giants is on the list. Okay. No question. Sure. Band of Brothers is also, yeah, like, I wouldn't be surprised if you use the bathroom at Jim Harbaugh's house, and there's just like a television showing Band of Brothers. Just the first 30 minutes. The Diesel's real goodness.

Wonder if he ever did anything else. This is all I know about him. It's most likely just, it's not him recognizing that it's Vin Diesel, it's just 20 minutes. Who is that? He's somebody. I'm telling you, that guy's going to be a star. I like this guy.

He puts team over himself. He can play to me anytime. He's just fucked up enough, though, to have, like, one or two curveballs that don't even make sense on the, like, random level. Amelie. Yeah, well, but, like, that would be. Spirited away. Yeah, we're getting closer there.

Or like the Apple Dumpling gang. He's like, I love Don Nuts. Spirited away. It's about teamwork and perseverance. Vanilla Sky. Wait, wait, wait, wait. Vanilla Sky or the Spanish original? No, no, no, that's a little too Catholic for Jim.

There's a lot of Spanish Catholics. also he limits his Spanish movies to eat two Mama Tambien I wouldn't be shocked if Jim Harmo is like Spanish Catholics aren't the real ones Italy or nothing go home France coach are are you Italian no hell no why so speaking of movies um did anyone else barbenheimer it this past weekend I've neither Barbied nor Heimered Okay, Holly, you did as well? I have neither. Yeah, I've neither.

I have opt and I am waiting to, uh, we had to split our double future up, but I have Oppenheimered. Okay. Okay. I have neither. So Jason, you've done both? Yes. We did, uh, we did, uh, we did.

All right. Barbie and the big Dolby screen and Oppenheimer and IMAX went all out. What was, uh, what was the time lapse in between the two? Uh, about half an hour. Simultaneous. Oh, okay. So you like, you like, you like, legit Oppenheimered. Okay.

Yeah, there's no quit here. Nice. We did arrange a car to take a daughter and niece home. They did not give a shit about Oppenheimer. That's fine. These are two of the best movies I've ever seen, and many would say in completely different ways. And yeah, kind of, but also, like, you know,

they're both very existential. They're both, you know, extremely. About, like, about, like, what it means to create something in the way. world and like to be part of a world that you have taken part in creating and the difficulties of that they're both wonderful it's you know jason can i throw a heat chuck at you yeah i'm i was extremely disturbed to find out that matt damon was very good in oppenheimer um did this upset you as well yeah he's perfect it's i mean josh hartnett is great um aden

what a Han Solo Jack fucking Quaid is Richard Feyman like Alden Erland something Yeah yeah yeah The guy who played Alton might be the best one in the

He might be the best one in the movie Yeah he goes toe to toe with I'm not kidding He's like holding his own against Possibly Robert Downey's best performance Like everyone is acting their fucking asses off Emily Blanc is great God everybody's vote work is just incredible

Everybody's But especially Downey and Killian Murphy but like okay here's here's the thing here's a scary part Kenneth Branagh shows up halfway through the movie and you're happy to see him

That is surprising That's the fucking wizardry Like the Trinity Test is fine But you're happy to see Kenneth Branagh At one point in this movie In an acting capacity Do you know what kind of fucking sorcery It takes to pull that off

Is he your most Oh this motherfucker actor When they show up Yes Yes but it's only because, well, it's because of a lot of things. I mean, who among us has not wanted to direct ourselves as Henry? But, you know, the dude left Emma Thompson.

What the fuck? Also, he direct, listen, he, he, he, everybody has, everybody has that one guy who's like, I'm the director and the star. And Kenneth Brown has just been that guy for decades. And then he shows up here in this, well, then he shows up here in this little role. He was just like, holy shit, Kenneth Branagh, oh, thank God. And it's for plot-related reasons that I will not spoil, but it's very funny. So, let's see if this works, okay?

Okay. The game I wanted to try to play, and Holly is Spencer again, I think you should enter yours in the chat just to back up and we'll know what you're saying and we'll relay it. Double feature is a wonderful experience. I recommend Barbie before Oppenheimer. That's not the conventional thinking. After Oppenheimer, all you can think about is, oh, fuck, my body hurts from watching Oppenheimer. So we are going to recommend some more full cast-approved double features.

I'll go last. I'm going to sort of lightning around through a bunch. But, yeah, who wants to start us off? Okay, so since my Internet seems to be working, I'll try to go first. I have three. And Jason, when Jason proposes to us, he did say they don't have to be movies that came out. on the same weekend he was very open but i decided to do this the hard way so these are all movies that opened on the same weekend when they originally were released the first one is the most

offensive and i apologize for that fokwanda and that is we'll go and see hotel rwanda and meet the fuckers back to back okay okay i have one that i think people would have actually done at the time It's called Hatrix. That's when you go to see The Matrix and Ten Things I Hate About You. Ryan, did you do this? Because I sure did. I don't know. I never saw Ten Things I Hate About You in the theater.

But I wouldn't have minded that double feature. This was one of my first, first dates. I know that much. Okay. And then my third one, these two movies also came out on the same weekend. And thinking about seeing them back to back is truly alarming. Sandecent, which is the sandlot and indecent proposal. Back, back.

And see both with children. Do you know, that would actually make a really good drive-in special because, you know, at the, at least at our drive-in, they would show like a PG movie and then an R movie and you bring the kids in their pajamas, everybody watches the first movie, and then you put the kids to sleep in the back of the car. That's right. I think both those movies are about kissing. Yes. Yes. That's essentially what it is. Yeah.

So those are my three that I have to offer. I also tried to stick to the naming convention of just one word. Yeah, that's good. I'll go next. I took kind of a different tactic. I decided not to confine myself to history, but to give myself a little parameter to work with, I went with movies by title. My first guest, or my first swing at this was inspired by,

an iconic photograph of Spencer and Ryan at the Ann Arbor District Library before our Michigan show holding a certain DVD. And I give you 28 days and 9 and a half weeks. But I almost immediately replaced that with 27 dresses and 28 days later. Yeah, that's really good. I would watch. Yeah, I'd do that. um continuing on with a with a theme that if you you kind of have to have seen these to understand but failure to launch and the right stuff both incredibly romantic customers yeah perfect um my best friend's wedding and my best friend's exorcism this one's a little too easy um and oh shoot i had one more what was it oh sorry uh gangs of new york and sweet home alabama

I've also invented a rule. I have also invented a rule. Oh, sorry, I had one more. This was for Spencer. A triple feature of only the first halves of Scarflace Blow and Requiem for a dream. Yes. Nothing but happy endings. I have made a...

When everything's going great. I also come with a rule called the Lincoln Protocol, where every movie like Lincoln should have a movie like the Lincoln lawyer attached to it for a come down. that's just a general principle that I would like apply to cross the board to all these and that is that is my slate also I would like to note that after seeing last thing I promise that after seeing Oppenheimer my plan was to go Barbie to create like a clean seal around the feelings of Oppenheimer but I felt so

alive after Oppenheimer and I don't want to think about what that says about me that I think I'm actually going to go Oppenheimer, Barbie Oppenheimer. I love him. Just to prevent, I don't want to, I don't want Noah Boundback leaking into the rest of my life. Sure. I think that's the only way to be sure. You can't be too careful. As Oppenheimer teaches, you can't be too careful with compartmentalization.

I know who I'd want to hang out with more. And it's Christopher Nolan because, as I saw from his interview on the Rich Eisen show, we have to talk about Rich Eisen. We have to talk about the Rich Eisen. We have to talk about the Rich Eisen's. Did you guys see this shit? Yes. Yes. It's incredible.

During an interview with Rich Eisen, which I don't know why Rich Eisen was interviewing Christopher Nolan. Because Rich Eisen's Booker has the power of God. Seriously. He got Nolan on the phone and in doing this interview asked him what his remote drop movie was. I explain what that is. Remote drop movie being when you have to drop the remote when this movie comes on and watch the entire thing. It's pretty familiar.

It's speed, you know. It's speed for some of you. It's speed for everybody, fuck-oh. Yeah. For me, it's good for. Fellas. If Goodfellas is on, I have to watch Goodfellas to completion. You know what? It's been so long since I've watched live TV for the purpose of just browsing, that the answer is, I don't know. But he asked Nolan what his remote drop was, and his remote drop

answer was, among other films, he did say, like, Kubrick, he's supposed to say that. No, get to the good part. He said, Talladega Nights. He had to watch Talladega Nights every time it was on. Advertising those bullshit, of course. And to clarify his love for the movie, Mollin responded with, if you ain't first, you last. In his accent. That was a wonderful story of a wonderful moment

and equally wonderful was watching Cerber deal in real time with your audio. Yeah. It came through, but I just wish the folks at home could get the visual. He has. Oh, I thought he was laughing. Was that despair? No. Imagine, have you ever seen a parent who's trapped in a place where their child is doing something inappropriate

and they can't get to them to, like, oh, no, you've decided to pull your pants down during the Christmas pageant? And I just have to look alarmed and disappointed. We're going to be banned from our third gyperies. server just so so disappointed and like how his life led me here

I quit my job man you're locked in here with us brother oh bud I'm sorry you thought you thought it was called

a lifeboat for a reason and you were wrong Spencer do you have double features to offer if... Two of them. The first...

This is a thought experiment and it's a fun one. I'm telling you type them in the chat as you go. Because I thought the way to go with this would be to say, you know, what would go with the shock of seeing O.J. Simpson as a comedic

actor in Naked Gun. Well, the only answer is to watch both Naked Gun and Naked Gun Part 2 because holy shit, there's O.J. Simpson just right up there being wacky and funny. And then you'd watch a second movie and be like, they just kept going with it. What the fuck?

Don't they know? Sure. Don't they know? Sure. Yeah. So that's my first answer. But the second is a real world example. Two movies that did come out on the same weekend.

And that's, you could take the popcorn and just do these two back to back. You could start with Toy Story. And then you could watch Casino. Oh! Bangers. I want you to consider this. One is less emotionally harrowing when you take into account everything that Toy Story does over the course of its franchise, or Joe Pesci being buried alive after being beaten with a bat. Would you rather be buried alive or be subjected to the rule of that Tommy Lee Jones Petty Bear?

I would rather be beaten with the bat and buried alive. Joe Pesci is the Buzz Light Year of the movie, right? I think that's fair. I think it's fair that Joe Pettyssey's the Bucke's light ear. In the entire... The Pett is the Buzz Light Year of the Scorsese universe. Can I just say we missed you? We missed you a lot, buddy.

That looked like a fucking toy to you? You think I'm fucking fun? Fun how? Explain it to me. How the fuck am I fun? See, if these had been the... movies they would have been so much better it's funnier if you imagine him cussing me from inside

the helmet right or only only cussing when someone pushes his little button yeah like bleep blarp all right jason what do you got uh so let's start with elf and contact

for um for when you hope you find your dad elf contact yep uh midsomar and ex machina because sometimes You just got to dump a guy. Black Swan in any sports movie because Black Swan is the best sports movie.

Wow, I hadn't thought about it that way, but that's a really bold. It is. She levels up and she's first round draft pick quality. Any given swan day. Any given fucking swan day. God damn. Let's see.

The two best girl hangout movies I think are clueless in annihilation. let's go with blue crush and it's all about it's all about your closet sir uh blue crush and end of evangelian hang it out on the beach has blue crush been in the news or something because blue crush was in one of mine that was considering huh i was going to go through crush it okay i just looked i was going to go blue crush and blue ruin which um but then i realize that i'm the only person who saw blue ruin yeah i've never heard of it I've never heard of it either

It's very, very grim Okay Let's go with Arrival and Puditang For when you're not really sure What this guy is saying But you get it This is the only one of these

That I sign on with 100% Hotel I will be that right now Fog's wrong with Elfk We're gonna go with Lady Bird and Jarhead Because it's hard to be a person From Sacramento Movies about not wanting to go to work

Obviously that's office space And First Reformed I was going to say Predator for that one Parenting is hard We have any parents in the crowd tonight For you I'm recommending Big Daddy and Eraserhead And if you just need a relaxing night at home Let's go triple feature

We're going to go uncut gems, Requiem for a Dream and Free Solo Wow Who What is that the order you think? Yeah Probably end with a dream I think, actually. Yeah, I think that's right.

I think that's right. I mean... I was like uncut gems in the middle as it comes down after free solo. Yeah. Yeah. I think you start with free solo, right? Because then you're like, okay, maybe the other two have, like, decent endings as well.

Also, uncut gems in the middle will guarantee that you won't, like, flag halfway through. Sure.