Shutdown Fullcast - Lane Kiffin To Dumbsinane

Episode Date: November 19, 2025

Space crime updateWe would once again like to remind the audience and ourselves that we don't know shit about hiring coachesOle Miss Has A Decree and don't we all just love that for themLane has already done something to make all of this worse by the time this episode dropsPop-Tarts Bowl has gone too far this timeA proud moment in hating pays off for SpencerSurber unburdens himself about the Air Bud rebootThe dizzying depths of The American ™ tiebreaker scenariosPlus! The week 13 college football slateThis episode produced by Michael Ray SurberFullcast theme variant arranged and performed by Chris WatkinsDID YOU KNOW: Spencer and Holly write Channel 6, a year-round newsletter that is mostly about football, until it's notBefore the world ends (again), treat yourself to Jason's critically praised novel and other workTravel in your mind palace to Phantom Island, Ryan’s new show with Steven Godfrey, which is not a college football show because another simply cannot existCheck out Surber’s band Killer Antz and his new show PodcasterinoNow through December 31, 100% of proceeds from all PTKU merch sales will be donated to Trans Ohio. Visit preownedairboats.com to purchase exclusive PTKU Blue Sharks gear and other Fullcast-branded loot

I wanted to start since we've got a quorum with a fact that I did not know before this week because I knew a lot of things. But one thing I did not know. The one thing. The one thing. I'm done after this. I've learned it all. I did not know that there was a tab that Holly had opened on her phone for six years.

Okay. I haven't had the tab open for six years. That would be crazy. How long is that tab open? Can I ask some follow-up questions? Yeah. Have you had the same phone for six years? No, which is how I know I haven't had this tab open for six years.

All right. All right. I'm already declaring Spencer's declaration false, but please go ahead. I said I have been, I said I had this story. He's trying to make me sound like a crazy person because Spencer came to me with an incorrect assertion. And I said, wait, that story's from 2019. And the only reason I know about this is because I remember what office I was in and what job I was at when we were discussing this. All right. Because this came up while I was back at Vox very briefly.

Okay. But none of this is the important. I have had this tab open on my phone for a long time. I thought at one point it might be good full cast material for one of our deep data dives. Just go ahead. You want to do you want to do this. Go ahead. this is from this particular quote is from from gizmodo which is who has jurisdiction to prosecute a crime committed in space right so do you guys remember do you guys remember this i don't actually so this is this is new and exciting for me right so in 2019 and this is coming up because i guess i didn't even read the new version i guess a civil suit follow up to this is being adjudicated now right spencer well this was so the anyway in

2019 a lady astronaut accused well really they should call them astronauts and man astronauts but a lady astronaut's wife accused the astronaut of accessing her bank account inappropriately from the i s s computer from space which which led to a brief romp of hilarity that now statistically a hundred percent of space crime has been committed by lesbians which is awesome and which i love for them However, I think either the charges got dropped or the criminal charges were dropped or the case was dismissed or something. Nothing came to the criminal case as far as I know. I thought she confessed that it was not that she had made it up, right? So something.

Spencer, you know the whole story clearly. Why am I telling you? I'd love to tell you. So this week. He's freaked out because he brought this to me last night and I was like, oh, that was in 2019 and I knew a lot of facts about the case. And he wasn't able to info dump at me and it has put him on tilt. but now he can complete that someone else knew something

that he wanted to talk about and it has put him in a goddamn blender I wish you guys can see his face right now he's stuttering I've been trying to tell the people the information they need for the past two minutes

and I'm ready I'm ready to provide a public service and you talk before it can finish it's like for for English press 1 for accounts but you cut it off Like, that's the feeling he's having right now.

Okay, that's enough out of you, Come on, Dante. I'm going to finish my sentence. Come in, Rangoon. This week, this week, prosecutors have agreed to drop all of the charges against the accuser in exchange for pleading guilty to making false statements to investigators. That's why... Man, crime takes so long. So the astronaut, not...

The astronaut cleared. Cleared. Astronaut. Great headline. Astronaut. Not guilty in the... space fraud case totally totally totally exonerated now we're back to well now we just have there's an empty podium right because now it's like there's no space crime that we know about oh we're going

to get on that we're going to get listen the russians i'm sure are doing some amazing like power rushes to fill a vacuum and space is the ultimate vacuum right we're going to fill that but uh they'll be sentenced in february 2026 because crime needs time over the Holidays? Yeah, anyway, the ex-wife, the ex-wife pled guilty to lying, to lying yesterday. Yes. And as far as I can tell, no crimes in space have been committed since then. Yeah.

No crimes that we know. Boring. Boring. We need to get on that. Or they were successful crimes. Also, there's a very smart answer to this that I'm sure I can find immediately, and this is going to make a lot of people mad because I am like, I think out of like the five people on this show, I'm like the four.

fourth smartest at computers. This came up when we were, we've talked about this before when we were talking about the astronauts filing expenses after they returned to Earth. And how do, you know, how you insure somebody who is off the planet. When you're typing from the ISS, how do you mask your IP?

Does it just say moon? Like, it's, is it harder to mask your, to mask your IP address in space? You're asking. Moon VPN. VPN's work in space. Right.

Thank you. Here's a trickier question. When you, like, log on to Netflix or YouTube TV in space, where does it say that you are? Where does it say that you are? YouTube TV is like, are you traveling? Which country's library do you have access to? Holy shit.

Is it whatever you're over? None. They've got the original Doctor Who on here. That's right. Okay. Thank you. I'm glad everybody immediately knew the problem. here. How do you look at porn

on the ISS? What VPN do do you use? That's easy. You bring it with you, man. Oh, yeah. Do they go analog for that? Yeah, absolutely. I bet there's like an old-timey, like, porn stash on the ISS that's understood. It's for community use. Yeah, it's like for, it's like

maybe everything's laminated. It's like, it's like need a penny, leave a penny, take a penny, that kind of deal but for pornography. I bet it's named. after Alan Shepard. Alan Shepard seems like the kind of guy who's like, hey, listen, I need to keep America strong.

Here's some dames. This foot locker needs to come with me. I don't care. Why do you see the bazooms on this one? Thank you, Ghost Alan Shepard. Listen, I dropped 10 pounds in muscle mass so we can bring this porn with us, all right? The payload's fine. This is space-tested porn.

That's incredible. We need more space. I feel like space crime is so easy to do, especially if you've got a computer. Okay. So you should know that the Wikipedia for space jurisdiction includes this sentence, but I want – there is a phrase that somebody added to it, I think. Sentences this, the combination of thorough background checks, vigorous training regimes and strict codes of conduct governing professional space crew have combined to make it highly

unlikely that anyone inclined to and or intent on engaging in criminal activity would be launched into space. That's not the full sentence, because what I suspect somebody added to the front was this phrase, at least until recently. I do think that is an actual reflection of the way spaceflight is changing is making it much more easy for space mafia. This is basically what I'm saying. Space casino.

It's anyone hearing what I'm throughout putting down. It's a space casino. How high in the Red Bull probably knows this. Red Bulls sound off in the comments. How high do you have to put something for it to qualify as space? Carmen line, right? Mm-hmm. Yeah, so if you're over the Carmen line.

Is that people or is that structures? I'm going to assume that if we're governing human activities, then we would base that decision on people, not the structures themselves. So an uninsured space casino above the Carmen line. Run by Space Rothstein. Sure

Yes Space sure It's good I accept this without question Sure This is now Now we have the possibility of a space

Oceans franchise This is where Ocean 17 Is going to go Space James Woods is here Oh gross He's so space racist It's so space racist You know,

Welcome to the shutdown fullcast. You are listening to the Internet's only college football podcast. I am Spencer Hall coming to you today with Brian Nanny, Holly Anderson, and Michael Ray Serber. Y'all, we have so many things to actually discuss, like actual football type things that are not space crime yet. yet um first i wanted to go ahead and congratulate hey virginia tech has a coach and just just get way to go listen yeah yeah yeah this year yeah virginia tech has hired james franklin uh i think ryan you made a very the most important point in this entire thing when you pointed out that the idea that brian kelly is entitled to all of his millions in terms of a buyout

is hilarious given that James is going to, I believe, from his initial $30 million buy out. The initial number was $49 million and negotiated down to $9 million. $9 million. One seventh of what, no, I did that math wrong. But still, a very small fraction of what he was originally owed. Meanwhile, Brian Kelly's like, fuck your $30 million hour. I'll see you in court. Eat shit, motherfuckers.

Die. I'll see you in space. I'll see you in space. I'll fucking destroy you in space, Baccarat. This is just Brian Kelly, but he's Tim Curry from the like commanding caucuses. Going to the only place where my lawyer cannot reach me. Space. I am, I think, I think that was the point that I was first like, okay, cool.

I immediately went from, how can I turn this James Franklin News into bad news for Ryan Kelly. That's where we're at. You've got a servant heart, but for this. It's been an incredible Hater's Week. This is just one more brick in the wall of the Hater's Week that I have built for myself. Is the main event in here anywhere in the show, Doc? Which main event for Hater's Ball?

Your main event at the Hater's Ball. I will add it. I will add it because sometimes these things... I want to let you have that moment. Yeah. Hate, hate, hate, hate, hate. It is, yeah. We will get to it because it is an incredible.

incredible, incredible return on hating. I think it's very important to keep track of your hating and your portfolio and its performance over time. And mine, who, mine is, mine is rich, strong this week. Long term games. Yes, long term games. Yeah, but this is actually, hey, congratulations. I think this is a pretty good hire. I think it's pretty good.

I'm loath to say that it's great, but pretty good. I'm learning that about Virginia Tech hires. I mean, there was at least, I thought Fuente was going to work, right? We all did. Yeah, he falls in that category. Pry, you wanted it to work because you're like, I don't know, he wears an old leather jacket. He seems real tough and thick. It felt more like he gets the culture.

He understands the lunch pail mentality. He does. He also gets mid-lunch pail results. He's eaten the lunch pail. Oh, no. Remember, nobody wants the lunch pail team. they want the lunch pail attitude but with penthouse results and um that's right how about yeah yeah anyway which they never got he's an awful person but i do think but you know that doesn't stop

anybody from getting hired anywhere anymore and i do think this was the absolute like this is a this feels like a coup for virginia tech honestly yeah and it's very it feels like more like maybe this is sort of an accidental success for everyone involved because I don't know if Virginia Tech waited him out. I don't know how many different jobs James Franklin bounced off of on the way to the Virginia Tech job. I know that, you know, you saw like, oh, man, talking to Arkansas, man, maybe James Franklin is interested in the Florida job. Now he's interested in the Florida State job. Oh, man. Virginia Tech. Okay, cool. And I think part of the coup element of it is that this was announced on Monday, November 17th, and that's the part that feels like is the real accomplishment.

Because there is a different scenario where maybe you still get James Franklin, but you have to wait through several other programs going through candidates one, two, three, whatever. To have this done now is nice. Yes, yes. That's the part that I think feels like a meaningful and a practically mean, not just sort of a symbolic accomplishment, but like, to the extent you want to re-recruit the roster and you want to start preparing the transfer portal and you want to, you know, get your high school recruiting ducks in a row. It feels like much more useful. I don't think I would have assumed that it would have happened this early in the process compared to other schools. Yeah.

So shouts out, Virginia Tech. You actually are more together than many schools that are typically ahead of you in line for college football's bounty. taking a peek ahead at looking at the schedule for 2026 there's a good chance we reached the end of September and we're all saying holy shit this is going really well because Virginia Tech opens the season with VMI next year then Old Dominion they traveled to Maryland in week three and then they host James Madison in week four those are there's some difficult games in there against teams you wouldn't think are that difficult but if he's able to just kind of like if he's able to go three and one in that stretch or four and in that stretch, everyone's going to start saying, really start saying, oh, this was a genius move just before, you know, they go to Cal and lose or something like that. It's that nice mix of these are games that you should be able to compete in, but winning them will not be written. Like, you didn't beat Old Dominion this year.

So if you win the revenge game, that already gets, like, the only one you really won't get any credit for of that set, I would say, is a VMI. And maybe JMU, depending on, like, if Chesney leaves and the roster sort of, like, gets pulled apart, maybe that one will be differently. But even Maryland, like, Maryland has not had a great post-September. But if you as Virginia Tech can beat Maryland, it will still be like, yes, this is a checkmark on the road we're supposed to be headed towards. Yeah, don't listen. Don't underrate that first month because these are all games that Virginia Tech in the past 10 years has gotten used to losing. So I think how's this? I think it's a great exorcism month.

If they are four and oh coming out of that month, Virginia Tech's going to be psychologically feeling a lot better. You don't have to play Virginia. You don't have to play South Carolina and Vanderbilt. Huge improvement. Huge improvement as September school. Massive. Absolutely massive.

Now that said, I am not ready to say that this is a great hire. You know why? Because I don't know. I have no idea. I won't register. stir any opinion about any hire ever again i'll never say it all hires are fine this i think pretty how's this i think it's pretty good oh it could totally work but given every other hire that we thought would work wouldn't work at various like no i'm done i am not smart enough to sit here and tell you what will work

and what won't well no listen nobody is sure like it's it's if Fuente and Matt Brown together were the great were the great undoing I think of any impressions that anybody on this show had that we could

prognosticate anything but also if if hiring coaches were bulletproof if search firms had a huge success rate at this stuff there would be people in charge

of doing this and you would know their names yeah like no no one knows what they're doing and trying to, you know, trying to drill down in any kind of granular fashion what's going to make this work or what isn't. It's a lot easier to say, oh, this isn't going to work. Hi, Bill. But it's the same problem you have as trying to, you know, as trying to create, you know, the kind of advanced stats in college football that you see in baseball. There's too many

moving parts. Yeah. And the thing that I think gets lost in a lot of them is, because it's all relative to one another, like, okay, is one of the goals, is the goal win the ACC? Well, some of that, a lot of that obviously has to do with what James Franklin can do at Virginia Tech, but it also requires you to say, do you think Clemson is continuing on a downward spiral? Do you think Miami has room to keep getting better? Do you think Louisville blew a chance, but is still, like, you have to sort of put a bunch of pieces in motion that have nothing to do with anything James Franklin is necessarily directly going to do, especially in these big

ass conferences where you won't even play all these teams most of the time. Yeah. Additionally, this does open up. I'm glad you mentioned Miami. Because... Hello, haters, Paul. Here we go.

It's probably going to be hate. Come on. Don't lie to me. Don't lie to me. Can we... I'm going to be very granular about this. There's pure hating where you're like, I hate you. I hate you. I hate you. I hope all the bad things. things in life happen to you and only you. Like, that's the Silky Johnson category.

We just want pure Hayton right there. This is not that. This is, I like, mess. That's different, okay? So, in the I like mess category, now there will be a conference where, within the same conference, and perhaps in the same

last four minutes of the same game, we get James Franklin game management meets Mario Cristobo Game Management. I would take James Franklin 10 out of 11 times. I can't, like, I really, I can't think, like, the James Franklin thing hasn't pot, like, I think that has largely been fixed. Do you? In recent history, yeah, I can't, when you look back at, like, the games Franklin teams failed to win over the last few years, it's really hard to look at them and say, like, oh, the coaches made a bad decision. And, like, you can say, you know, they should have called a different play when Drew Aller throws that pair.

Like, there are things you can quibble with, but I don't think the sort of, like, brain goes completely cold. Like, I don't think that's the thing anymore with Franklin. I think there are other issues you can point to and sort of question, like, well, can he get consistent high-level coordinator work? Can he, like, develop a quarterback in a way that, like, really hasn't clicked that well over his tenure almost the entire time at Penn State? Can he bring a wide receivers? Like, there are things to quibble with. Don't get me wrong. But I think, weirdly, he's fixed that one.

Did you see the last part of the UCLA game? I did see the last part of the UCLA game. But I also, if you ask me for a takeaway from the UCLA game, it would be, hey, what's Jim Nol's getting paid $3 million to do? How is he getting carved up on defense with that version of UCLA at that point? That would be my larger takeaway. Okay. Okay. I'm not saying it never happens, but I'm saying like most of the time,

I don't think that particular issue is what's holding them back. Could it reoccur? Absolutely. The man we're talking about had three timeouts in his pocket with a minute 40 and change left and didn't call any of them until it got to like the minute mark. Yes. All right now. Yes.

Yes. But I, yeah. I mean, I think mostly it's like Mario Cristobal still does this in some like really baffling ways. Fortunately for Miami, they've just been blowing teams out lately so this doesn't come up in the last month or so. But my God. Appreciate this approach Miami, which is to get it out of the coach's hands.

I think the other difference is that even what you're describing is like James Franklin maybe fails to make a decision, like there's an inaction. Whereas Mario Cristobal finds interesting ways to insert his brain into the proceedings that are unnecessary. He just doesn't know math is the thing. I have a math question. Okay. End game situation.

Big, big game Jim versus Mario versus it's Mario time. Do there, if you take each of, let's visualize this here. This is a visual medium. Take each of their time lord tendencies and

you know, put them into, let's form a nice, orb out of each one of those. Okay. So you got, you got orb Jim, orb Mario. Do the combined powers of the two of them. And they're not, they're not identical. Like they're, their late game, you know, as we've said,

their late game tendencies are not, are not identical, though they are both, I don't know if I call them equally exasperating. I guess it kind of depends on where you're standing for this. But put each of these orbs in the field of play. Okay. Do their combined presences at the end of a game. Are they additive? Are they multiplicative somehow ending up greater than the sum of their parts?

Do they cancel each other out? Some secret weird fourth thing? Discuss. The time, the time orbs, I mean. I think. Do the time orbs cancel each other out? Not do both James and Mario disappear from the sideline, although that would be very funny.

I believe that we make something greater than the sum of the two holes in aggregate because this will be a high pressure matchup if both teams are good. And I believe both teams will eventually be good given enough time for Franklin at Tech. Miami's already really good. Tech's going to get there. And when you're talking about who sets the bar in the ACC right now, it's Miami. that's in terms of roster quality. That's about it, right?

I don't think there's anyone in the ACC other than Clemson who comes close, right? And right now, if we're talking about... That's a gritty roster server. Thank you. Yeah, you're right. Smart three stars. We're going to hammer some smart three stars, right? But in terms of roster quality and in terms of, like, sealing, Miami's it,

and then Clemson is second and probably trending downward at this point. So I think they add up to Yep, I know, it's fine Bless you The thing that they will have When they face each other Is that we will get something greater than the sum of the two Because expectations will be placed on this decision and outcome

So then you're going to get this little pressure cooker, right? So even if there's the comedy Or tragic comedy for one side Of them fucking up the last two minutes of this vital rivalry game it's going to mean a little bit more because it's going to be a verdict on one or the other's tenure. If you get outmanaged by James Franklin, that is ass for you. But if you get outmanaged by Mario Christoval at the end of the game, that has a different tenor about it.

That almost sounds like it's like, hmm, how should I say this? You got, say you got, you got struck by lightning while hanging out outside in a thunderstorm. on top of a hill, right, is outmanaged by James Franklin. You got struck by lightning while inside an underground chamber is getting, like, running a foul of, getting out classed by Morrow in that fashion almost removes, it removes the human possibility from it in itself. Like, that feels more like an act of God. I think there's one problem with this that means it's never going to show up.

It's not going to materialize. So you think they cancel each other out? it's not quite that, but maybe it ends up being that way. Maybe that is where I'm sort of landing is that I think in the particular case of these coaches, and this is different from like less Miles. Like I think Les Miles was capable. Less Miles, I would say, was more capable of bad decisions or baffling choices in big games, like Auburn.

Like that's where you were like, Les Miles is going to do some of his best bad work against, in like the marquee games. I feel like Mario Cristobal, and to some extent, James Franklin, this is more, like, to the extent UCLA is an example, it's more like, it's where you didn't expect it. Like, this, James Franklin would do this against Pitt or something. And I understand, like, there's a rivalry component there. But it's, like, you wouldn't really see this in, like, oh, James Franklin fucked up the Ohio State game or James Franklin fucked up. Like, when it has some sort of, like, big national meaning. And the same thing with Miami, like, you know, that Georgia tech team that they had those sort of.

of like baffling clock management against a couple years ago that wasn't the like that was like the early stages of georgia tech figuring it wasn't like this is ranked georgia tech so i think that's the problem is that if they're both known quant like known positive quantities it won't rear its ugly head and if they if only one of them is then the other one's off the hook in some weird way i don't like i don't know i have a hard time seeing how it comes to fruition but i'm still so confident in Mario Cristobal. I'm so confident in Mario Cristobal at this point. I'm very confident in Mario Cristobal out stripping his flaws with his recruiting for the most part. It's a good strategy. But again, like that was, you're describing also, that was the less

mile strategy in a lot of ways, wasn't it? It was. It was. That and this. I think even more so than that, less believed that if he just ran the ball and played defense, right? If he's like, we just do tough things we're going to win and you know the fucked up thing is that he was right what do you do we're just going to be tough and recruit we're going to be tough and that man that'll get you 98% of the way yeah it works a fair amount of the time yeah it works again hire somebody who wants to build a program don't you want don't you want innovative offense harold no get me something tough that's all i need i i am confused about one thing about with James Franklin hiring, though.

The graphic that Virginia Tech football put up on Instagram says, welcome home, James Franklin. And I don't, like, I don't care necessarily, but like... Is it like when your realtor, like, shows up to welcome you to your new place, you know? Yeah. Like that, right? So, like, there's a picture of James Franklin holding, like, a big guitar that says, like, Blacksburg Mortgage Bros or something.

Yeah, yeah. A key, like a big key. Okay. That's, all right. I'm fine with it then. A little bit of bubbly in the fridge. That's the only thing in there, right? Honestly, because I was like, I don't think he has any, like, previous can.

I know, like, Virginia Tech is not that far from, you know, D.C. and Maryland and all that. But I'm like, I don't think this is home. I think this is a new place. Well, they can't. It is not close to anywhere. Okay. Yeah. They can't be like, hello guest, you know?

They could. They should. They should. They should. They should Florida really should do that So you'd be like, hello employee Welcome valued cast member

Given y'all's turnover rate It should be like the Dungeon Carl or Carl intro for y'all Yeah You will now be processed Yeah Welcome You have decided to engage with the Florida football program

Ha ha ha ha ha ha Create new character Woof Not so class lane Just Lane sitting there hitting a Make the dick bigger Make the crotch back Here we go

Just your Guy Fury hair Guy Fury hair He'll be a lot of tats Crazy tats Yeah Coaching shorts One big arm

One tiny arm One tiny arm I gotta let him know what's up What's my number It's 69 You know it bro It's 67 actually It's 6 7

Yeah I'm sorry yeah They got update for the kids The recruits love this 6 7 Live left love is an armband tat Yeah Purple eyes Interstential

So this is a Hey accidentally landed on an outstanding transition point here Oh no That can't be good I know Speaking of creating a new character That's right

Lane Kiffin Now of course Who controls everything in college football right now Destiny wise Except for the Virginia Tech job Again good job Hokies He should, honestly, he should have dangled interest today. He should have leaked like, well, you know, I was really looking at it.

But happy for James, but I think I could have done something with that. Yeah. In response to a report that Old Miss had issued an ultimatum, which I want to say, that's a really funny thing for Old Miss to do. Like if that was real at all, that Old Miss is like, you're receiving an Old Miss ultimatum. Oh, heavens. It's kind of cute It's like the kids are putting on a show, right?

They put a blanket over a couple of chairs And they're gonna do some puppets behind it He's dressed up like he's a real man in a suit and everything right Like he's got a bit oversized bowler hat Mm-hmm I've come to a fireplace ashes on the cheeks This is one of the You can say anything

This is a good reminder Hello it's me You can say Bucks car child And I'm here You can say anything you want Yeah, exactly I have on this official

Oldness Stationery On toilet paper roll A toilet paper roll I have a decree You must make a decision by The Egg Bowl You have to say you love me To everyone

That's it Check yes or check no kind of made up kingdom shit is this now that's that's one version of it the version i prefer is the one where they are so mad that they that this is real that it's not like oh or what where it's like or we fucking that's right we'll kick your ass to the curb we don't care if it's a bad decision you're hurting our feelings

and we don't like that my favorite thing I've read about this is from craig burly.com on blue sky which is college football fans here pretending quote egg bowl unquote is a normal date fucking michael missass shit if we're not bowl safe by st elwards eve the board of governors will have to act go to hell all of you that's right quit being quit giving me this like duke of fortin bra bullshit where you're like, you must decide by the egg bowl. It's especially good because before this, before this, the egg bowl,

this was one of the lower stakes egg bowls, I would say, in recent memory, right? Yeah, like bad Mississippi State. No, no, no, coming into this, because like I'm looking up the standings to make sure I have this right. I don't think, so I'm a little bit wrong. Mississippi State can get bowl eligible if they win the egg bowl.

So there is something for them here. But on the old miss side of the equation, other than, like, you would like to win and not lose. Yeah. Like, yeah, a trip to the SEC title is potentially on the line, but you need a little help to get there in the first place. Yeah. You're making the playoff either way, so there's, like, a seating thing.

It doesn't have the same. It's not quite the same as, like, oh, this could, like, significantly alter things for Ole Miss until they decided to make it, like, no, this is our wedding day. You will commit. Which I mean Olness, you come a long way But come on

Like you can't afford Ultimates That's not in your budget It's like what It's like watching a cat in a real high tree branch Like come on man Mm-hmm It's also

It's also confusing Because like So much of the last We're gonna call it We're gonna have to call the fire department Yeah Like what do you think What do you think is the other extension

That has made them mad because I think people are looking at this and saying Kurt Signetti signed a contract extension Mike Elko signed a contract extension. I feel like there's one more than I'm missing somewhere in here as well. Yeah. Like I feel like that's what's driving it.

Didn't Brent signed a contract extension. Did he? Did I miss that? Brent Key? Didn't he? I don't remember seeing that. I might be mixing him up with Elko because they're... Maybe he did. No, I'm pretty sure he did.

They're the same. person. I know he, I know he signed a new deal last off season, but I don't think he's recently signed one. Okay, sorry. I'm probably thinking to Elko. Sorry. Um, yeah. But in any, in any event, like, it feels like that's like it's less to do with, it is less, and I'm sorry to belabor the marriage comparison here. It is less to do with like this particular situation and more that like, old miss is looking around and be like, well, Mike Alco committed to what, what, what, Can't you? What can't you believe in us?

What haven't you taken a picture of us on the beach in white? Huh? Oh, Matt Rule. Yes. Matt Rule is the other one. Yes. I was actually, I was actually thinking of Lashley. Yes.

That's another great. Yes. Lashley committed to cocaine SSMU, but you won't believe in this relation. What's wrong with you? I know where she's been. Why would you do it? Yeah, this is very much. Because there is no, there's no other part of,

the timeline that's like oh lane should have like no lane actually shouldn't have made a decision weirdly lane kiffin is kind of in the right in terms of the timing i'm not saying how he's handling it is going well but like i am i am updating the code in my app for that right i'm about to defend lane and that feels weird yeah he's actually kind of right on this he's a little bit right now is he being an asshole about it 100% well all right 80 by his standards By his standards, that feels too lofty. Okay, let me, let me lay out, let me lay out a couple things here because there's one big element that I think all the reporting around this is missing all, everybody's. So, first of all, this is, as we have discussed previously on this show, an unprecedentedly active coaching carousel this early in the season.

Yes. no coach theoretically should be having to think about this right now yeah this is this is early in the season you know he is going to get asked about this no matter what

and like like there's part of this that was unavoidable even if you were going to very publicly brush everything away and say you know we're on to we're on to Fayetteville we're on to Starkville we're on to whatever Right. There's an extent to which drama around Lane, given the carousel, was going to be unavoidable.

Asking for him to actively assist in creating less drama is a misunderstanding of Lane on such a level that I think it almost disqualifies anybody who's doing the asking. It's like, hey, Scorpion, can you teach my granddaughter to knit? sure get over here yeah you know what thank you that's much better that's much better hey sub zero will you put the seat heaters on obviously sub zero crochets that's why they don't get along clearly if you want to knit you go to lu Kang he's spectacular that's right mortal crochet that's not that's not that's not the piece that I think that's not the piece that I think everybody's missing. That I know everybody is missing.

I mean, everybody. Also, man, hold on. I want to hear, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no. Spencer has a thought. No, no, no, no, go ahead. Apologies. The big thing that everybody is missing in this discussion is that you are not dealing with a rational actor here in Lane.

You can't really say this about any other coach. Any of them can act irrationally at any time by way of their people, but I think we said this before on after dark. Lane could have the agreement signed for UF on Friday and take the Giants job on Monday. He could have moving trucks outside his house in Oxford and decide to stay put. If Lane himself doesn't know what he wants to do or what. he's going to do, and he does not. Why are the rest of us trying? There is less than zero sense in trying to prognosticate what this specific coach will or will not do because he himself, he doesn't know what he's planning to do right now. He might make the best decision for himself

and his family and sabotage it for no reason or because he thinks it's funny. There is, and that guy, and you can't really say this about any other coach working right now, that guy is right in the middle of all the dominoes spiraling out. That's the problem right now. And everybody trying to predict what he will or won't do based on, and I've said before, I know where I think he's going and I know why, but it's Lane.

So he could, like, there's no point in trying to ascribe rational actions to an irrational actor Thank you, Spencer, holding up a meme of a dog in science glasses. Saying, I have no idea what I'm doing. So, Holly, I think if I understand your argument, it's not that Lane is irrational. It's that his rationality does not follow the pattern that we would expect in some ways. Like viewing him within the context of like a closed experiment, you cannot count on him to necessarily act consistently in his own interest, against his own interest.

There's no pattern to observe. No, there is not. And you can't say this about anybody else. If it were any other coach in the middle of this spiral, we can do this. But the element that I think nobody is talking about, and I don't think it's particularly controversial. Like, you just have to look at all of the body of work that he's put up so far. But we don't, we know even less.

shit than we usually do about this because it's like trying to predict what branch of a 200 foot tall tree a butterfly is going to land on. I think some of that maybe reflects his professional history. Yeah, that's what I'm talking about. Because looking back, you're like, okay, was it rational to take an NFL head coaching job at 31? Yes, that is a rational choice. It is maybe not a likely success choice, especially when it's the Raiders. I think that's absolutely a rational choice. You get the opportunity. You take it.

Like that one makes sense. Right. Is it rational to leave Tennessee for the USC job? Sure. Probably. But it's not a popular one, certainly. Well, that doesn't matter. Like, given what, I'm not so much talking about the jobs that he's taken.

Yeah. Because people have to offer him these jobs, right? Yeah. Like, he, he doesn't get these jobs without people giving them to him. Like, he does not have, he has agency, of course, but he is not personally responsible for the USC job being open that one time. For the Tennessee job being open before that. For the Raiders job being open before that and for Al Davis being a crazy person. Like, I'm talking more about the actions that he has taken within his 10 years at these places.

Oh, I think it's both, though, because I think, Maybe he has experienced, like, to use the counterpoint. I think for most of modern SEC history, it would be an irrational choice to stay at Ole Miss and not take the Auburn job. Not take an Auburn job that wasn't. No, I think over the past, like, 30 years. I think if you're going to do a comparative study, you've got to pick a different one than Auburn. That's too similar. You don't think the rational choice would be to take Auburn over Old Miss for most of them.

No. Why? No. I think it's marginal. Okay. Yeah, yeah, yeah. Like, I think it's by a nose, and that's just based on the fact that Auburn has won titles, competed for titles, if that is your thing. They have the same set of problems.

They have the same genre of problems at Auburn as they do at Ole Miss, and you're going from being the top dog in state to the underdog in state in terms of power. resources. Yes, but I think that's only true because of what Lane Kiffin has done at Ole Miss. And before, the problems were bigger at Old Miss than they were at Auburn. But the aspiration was the same. I think is the big thing that. Absolutely. Like Cutcliff coming and coaching at Ole Miss is like off the heels of being a national

championship guy, right? Sure. Quarterback Whisperer. Like bring that guy in and then get his brother Eli Manning to be your starting quarterback. like that all happened. The Chad Kelly era happened. Like get, you know, securing the, securing the bag with all those, what was the, the defensive end that was like number one overall player in the country. Robert Condici and then. Thank you. Yes. Condici getting him to commit. Like they were 100% committed to doing the same things. I think as Auburn was. Auburn just

happened to get those things done, like compete for, win a national championship, compete for more than just the one. But David Cuckcliffe got to stay at Old Miss for six years and only once win 10 games. Like, I get what you're saying. At that time, I don't find that to be as crazy. Isn't that an argument for staying at Ole Miss? You're going to have a way shorter leash at Auburn and so many of the same problems. Sure. Maybe that's true.

I think that's more indicative of the time, though, too. Like the immediacy with which you were required to start being a national championship contender, like the two to, not even two, the one to two. the one to two year window that exists now was not the same then. People were most definitely willing to let someone build a program at that time. All right, so I won't quibble with this part

of it. I guess my larger perspective is maybe when Lane Kiffin has followed rational paths in his coaching career to date, both at a school and outside and going from school to school, it doesn't always work. And so I think that maybe trains you to think like,

well, fuck what the conventional wisdom says. Fuck somebody saying like, Florida is a better job than old miss if it doesn't if it doesn't feel good to if lane's not excited about it or if it doesn't vibe with him or whatever then then he will make the quote unquote irrational choice i don't know i would like to speak to lane kiffin directly here if he's happened to also we're fully in the trap by participating in this yeah that's my fault i apologize yeah yeah who knows i think you're totally right i don't think he's on any map.

Like, I'm not saying we shouldn't have fun with it because we absolutely should. This is fun to watch and none of us will be, oh, hey, never mind Florida guys. I didn't see you there. Oh, no, it's fine. Because the thing I want. We should absolutely have fun with this, but like there's a degree of self-sabotage here that is not present in a number of his peers. And we are typically what we do in these searches is you look for, you'll, you

look for the guy who is making the best deal for himself for his family for his uh for his staff whatever but uh lane's a wild card man that's why the only thing i want out of the outcome i'm rooting for and holly knows what this is and server i apologize because this is the first you're hearing of it Miami dolphins head coach lane kiffin that's what i want that's right that's what the fuck man that's no god damn you can succeed we're we've been winning for no reason for no reason we've been winning for no it other than just to piss me off and now you drop this on me too well if that happens at least that means we lose out or something that's right

you haven't, Ryan hasn't finished what my theory of this was which is going to be Lane takes the Florida job stays for one year then the Dolphins job opens and he takes that because it's a chance to show up Nick and his dad and stay in Florida yeah yeah boosh

we both get fucked that way oh no yeah he does that I will say I will say I'm I feel safe saying one thing about Lane. Of no concern to him at any point is, hey, you know you're going to like poison the well there. No, man. No, he's like, he thinks, and I think somewhat justifiably that no matter who he pisses off, he can win him back. He can get it back. The other thing is if you, if you believe the Instagram version of Lane Kiffin is real or even partially real, he's, he's going to be

in that place where he's like, the only person I have to answer to is myself. That's it. I'm just, I'm I'm trying to protect my piece. He is full Joey Potter choosing me. Yes. Or at least he thinks he is. Yes, right. Can I drop one more, one more just nugget of thought in here? Sure.

Because he entered our orbit at such a young age, he has been subject to a higher degree than a lot of his peers to being kind of frozen in time. you know these coaches kind of come in and you know nick is a great example nick nick changed his whole game nick adapted his entire ass game more than once and what do we say about nick no no our our vision of nick remains unchanged from the time he was formed in the public consciousness right it's very hard to shift that like because and because the players rotate in and out so quickly and the coaches rotate slightly less quickly these football programs in our view take on you know they take on the personality of their head coach we've talked

about this before in the context of kevin sumlin going to a and m you know hey all of a sudden you guys are a little less weird and we we vibe with you in strange ways that's new lane came into college football in 2009 he is not an elder statesman he's not in the amen corner but he's been coaching consistently now for what 16 years yeah he is not like the dean of the SEC but it kind of scares me a little bit like he's he's more powerful than he pretends now you can pull it back if you really want to like those early those mid aughts USC teams when he was getting a lot of shyness like the co-oC with sark too like I think that that's also sort of like his introduction to us

which depends on you on depending on you talk to about what his actual role was on that stuff that could go that can go one one direction to the other but this is this is a guy now who we are still treating and he is very happy to act as the brat where he's yeah he's 50 which in you know in our in our business means he's got a good 30 years left in front of him but we don't we don't think of him as having this like burnish to his career now but he's he's creeping up the pyramid and that that maybe unsettles me most of all the wisdom of lane right out christmas day like he's like listen if there's a if there's not a book if he's not writing a book he needs to start chicken soup for the lane kiff and soul that's this is a

prime example of somebody Memory lane God damn it it's about my memories that's the sub that's the subtype one for each day it's got my memories day

yeah sometimes people go to therapy and they get worse oh come on that's a little harsh that's a little harsh no no no he's listen he is doing something different

it is different and it is not uninteresting. It's true. Which puts him way above so many of his peers. I'm just saying, weaponized therapy speak, it's gone pretty well so far. We'll see if it turns left. It's kind of incredible that nobody's like kind of trying to copy it, honestly. Give it time, yeah.

Let's see Signetti try. Let's see if Signetti can pull out. Just Signetti things. Kurt Signetti's therapist is just kicking him out after. And it's like, I don't need to know that. Horrors, I'm told. Sir, this is a Jiffy Lou. My Marlboro mantra.

Just Kirk Farrant's walking out after 10 minutes. And the therapist being like, there's nothing there. He's empty. He's empty. He's just a gollum with the word punt written in his head as an instruction. That's it. It actually smells amazing. oh yeah um there's really no way to transition out of this so we'll just steer straight into it

i'm actively disgusted with how much time we spent on this i would just like to encourage everybody to to consider the fact that less even less than usual we don't know shit you know it's going to make it worse they say they know what's going to happen and they end up being right that doesn't mean they knew shit they just guessed right us included what's going to make it worse is between us recording this and it's coming out, something else is going to happen. Oh, 100%. This is going to get so much dumber. It's November 18th.

We're not even to the Thanksgiving games yet. I hope he creates a missed, like, I hope people ask him, like, are you going to be on the sideline for the egg bowl? And he's like, you know, the future is unknowable. I really have to protect my piece first and my families. I want him to do that. I want him to go the full Kirby route for this and get offended, pretend to be offended that you even asked.

Yeah. Why would you say that? How could you do that too? One other thing, have you noticed? As he gets older, the Minneapolis is starting to come back out. The Minnesota is starting to come back out, rather. I would say it's smart for him to not to develop a pretend southern accent, but again, I don't think it ever would have occurred to him to try and fake that. Yeah. Usually when you say say what you want about somebody, it's a way of dismissing all the dumb shit that they've done. But no, I really mean, say what you want about him and it does not change this one immutable fact. That dude is 1,000 percent, himself, which does not make him better or worse than any of these other coaches. It does make him different. I, yeah, yeah, you're right. True wide receiver mentality. Yes. Yeah, super wide. We have an update that I'm just going to read verbatim. It doesn't make the transition any easier, yeah. No, I'm just going to read it verbatim. This is where we see, this is where we need Jason for this it's weird that we don't have jason for this i know i know um all right we don't have jason today by the way he's doing new york city work things from becole arbock hi nicole um we're getting six

edible mascots at this year's pop tarts bowl yes um six three on team sprinkles and three on team swirls fans get to vote on which mascot team to sacrifice to i'm sorry hold on just oh go God, I just saw what they're calling it. Oh, no. No, just say it. That's why you look so tired. Which mascot team to sacrifice to mouth heaven at games end? The biggest edible mascot sacrifice ever.

Hmm. You know, usually if you want to get sacrificed to mouth heaven in Orlando, you have to go to Signior Frogs. First of all, I want to say the phrase. mouth heaven should be shot buried dragged dragged incinerated shot into space unless we're talking about

Nancy Reagan I appreciate that yeah do you know how far that's broken contained by the way how far has it broken contained I was up home this weekend

for a multi-day funeral bonanza and a lot of my friends from back home are teachers, a lot of my family from back home are teachers. When I tell you that high school kids don't know, barely know who Bill Clinton is, but are now aware of this, and this is literally all they know about it. What a rich trove they're about to uncover. Uh-huh. Uh-huh.

God. Oh. Like, why are these kids making Bill Clinton? Which is also, this is how. I found out by the way because I was kind of I was I was offline a lot like offline for me like a lot last week getting all this because I had to do a bunch of like we were there there this is one of those like multi day funeral event situations and so I found out by like innocently asking why are these kids making Bill Clinton blowjob jokes this is probably what Pop Tarts wanted us to talk about when they made this press release right it was it was 100% yeah but I'm going to turn it sour for them we're going to find a way Um, because they haven't paid us shit. The wild berry will crumble to ash in your mouth. Yeah, listen, let's wait till we get, Jason.

We have a long time until the Pop-Tarts Bowl. We haven't started 40 for 40 yet. We can wait until we have our spiritual leader back in the saddle to discuss, like, Spencer, what you described as Pop-Tarts Calvinism. Yeah, the theology behind this. Yeah. One year, they're going to give us a Pop-Tart that screams, and that's what it's all going to get very dark. Give me No! No! No! Let me see my kids!

I would actually find that less sinister than what they actually do right now with the smiling and the waving and the... No, I want this. Listen, there's a perfect city and all of its citizens are happy and well-fed, Ryan. But there's a problem. It all depends on the misery of one Pop-Tart that gets cooked and eaten every day.

Welcome! back to Shirley Jackson's The Lottery Bowl. Unfrosted Strawberry versus the volcano. I only really wanted to say. I mean, okay, okay, listen, what if the Dr. Pepper Challenge replaced Shirley Jackson's lottery? Ooh, inspiring. Inspiring.

This community sacrificed one aspiring veterinarian for the happiness of all. Now, I will say, we threw footballs at this associate's degree holder until she died. Now what? Now, I will say what you are, what you are now giving me the ideas for is some sort of connected system where the Dr. Pepper challenges that happened before the Pop-Tarts bowl should weigh into, like, whichever thrower gets the least points in the Dr. Pepper challenges, their corresponding Pop-Tart should be the one. Like, it should have war. Oh, yeah, their deaths should weigh on you. Yes, 100%.

It should be. It's actually your fault for wanting to go to college. Not only do you not get to go to college, but a Pop-Tarts blood is on your hands. Yeah, yeah, multiverse this shit. They would love that. Yes. Pop-Tarts, you still haven't called us. You've never called us.

But, you know, call us. We're so close to the Game Day Field Goal Challenge being for someone's life. Like, this is probably a really, this is indicative of where our society is right now, that it's like, for your life or a million dollars. All right, it's the Ender Field Goal Challenge. We got. Finally, you guys are around. to what I meant when I said we should running man

this. Yeah. That's probably a good sign for society. It's probably addictive. We're real healthy and it at a good part. Listen, the fact that we've been treating this as heartwarming all along and not horrifying means that we are as a society ready for this bracket's derogatory.

Or you could choose this third option. It's a guillotine. There's always the abyss. What part of the Pop-Tart is the head? yeah the part are they like flat worms if you split them do we get mitosis is it mitosis when it's a whole body and not just a cell

that would be solicitous sound off yeah I only want to say this I don't want to get into theology taste like Lanarian sorry what all six of the pop tarts deserve to die and I hope they do that's it we're going to raise the voting you notice they don't say what happened

to the ones who don't go in the toaster. They're all going in the toaster. What, if that's my football team, I'm throwing them all in. We win, we get to throw all the Pop-Tarts in. I don't see here. This is where I've learned that I'm a Pop-Tart, like, I guess maybe it's a bit more cannibalistic in the way that. I don't toast them shits.

I eat them still living, you know? Yep. No, that's the move. Still living. Yeah. I'm a weirdo for preferring. You know, I don't like them toasted, and I don't like them frosted. I like the server's main.

I don't like the frosty ones as much as the unfroced ones. it's you and me. Unfrosted blueberry for the wind forever. Yes, correct. I don't do a frostb, but I don't cook them. I mean, I'll eat the frosted too. I'll eat them alive as they scream in pain.

Or just like Pop-Tart golleting. I like the server's drinking it like a lobster. He's just plucking from the tank and biting that. Yeah. Now, if you bite the head off, you don't get to hear the scream. That's true. Yeah. I'm eating them like Tom Hardy and Venom, yeah.

It's in the aquarium Pulling them out Wait wait wait Okay so we put them we put them side by side In like those flatbed toaster ovens during the game And depending on who's winning We turn the heat up just a little bit more Yeah

Yeah That is so easy That is fun My coach listen as a coach That's going to be my halftime speech I'm like you're going to go out and win this game You're going to finish it these last 30 minutes It's score zero zero

And then at the end I'm going to need you to kill and eat all six Pop-Tarts. What are they going to do with the other five edible Pop-Tarts, though? Thank you. That's what I'm saying. They never say what happens to the second one. Yeah, this is what I'm saying. The inherent

implicit promise of the Pop-Tarts bowl is that I'm going to get my team to eat six huge Pop-Tarts, and you're holding out on me because I know you have them. Yeah, and I don't like, listen, as a parent, I don't like food waste. You open six Pop-Tarts and you only ate one? The fuck's wrong with you. What are we made out of Pop-Tarts?

Matt, call me. Yeah, I got 3,000 pounds of offensive linemen here, buddy, sick Pop-Tarts. You can do this. You know what I'd be terrified of? Being one of the other five Pop-Tarts because now fans know oh, you're not needed for the on-field ceremony. We can kidnap you and eat you.

Don't. I'm capturing the means of production here. We're getting all six Pop-Tarts. This is an insurrection. I just want them all jumping into like a swimming pool at the end, right? Me! No, me! We asked for this. Yeah. We love this. I don't want to do that laugh again while wearing headphones.

Holy shit. I'm upset myself. I'm going to go ahead and I know we have a podcast business segment on this podcast and I'm going to do it. But I wanted to go ahead and tout a separate. It's such a success that I need to tout it separately because I don't often, you know, we don't really talk enough about our accomplishments here. And I have pulled off one of the most rewarding things in life.

It took time. It took investment. it took dedication, it took skill, it took luck, but it also required an eye, which I have for spotting something early. Oh, that's not what I thought you meant. For spotting something early. You still have both of your eyes. Correctly identifying it and then being first.

And I will tell you that as a scout of these things, I have pulled off one of my greatest coupes. I have hated Cristiano Ronaldo. So, for as long as I have known who he is. Okay, since like 2002, 2003, I hated him on site. I hated this man so much, a burning distaste to the eye. And then, with each additional detail I learned about him, with each note of his soccer game played out in front of me, I grew to hate him more. With every goal that he scored at the end of the game, when his team was already up 3-1, with every World Cup disappointment, with every Euro disappointment,

with every flop, with every distasteful grunt that he made from impact that did not in fact happen with a defender. From every single signing, especially the Real Madrid one, because of course he ended up on Real Madrid the pig. That's right. I grew to hate him more. And some said, oh, he's the greatest player of his generation. It's him or Messi? And I believe it's It's him. And now, at the end, not only has that been proven categorically incorrect, not only did Lain O'Messie, who I'm not advocating here for, absolutely, I'm advocating for here in terms of that guy did it, and you didn't, he won a World Cup, which Cristiano Ronaldo is never going to do. At the end of all this, I am vindicated, because

Cristiano Ronaldo is going to attend a White House meeting with Prince MBS from Saudi Arabia. that's right that's right who who was fucking right who gets to reap the rewards of of hating somebody and being vindicated for over two decades this is me me this is the fulfillment this is this is the 10x promise right this is this is when you make that bet and you short that stock and you sit on it and others are like are you sure about that are you sure are you committed to your investment principles the answer friend is yes and I have the evidence because it finally paid off in total confirmation of Christiano Ronaldo's second-ranked status as both a person and soccer talent.

Oh, this is soccer? It feels so good. It feels so fucking good. Oh, my God. It's great. It finally paid off. Just three cool guys having a cool man. What a great day for you.

Just a hate, just like, man, as a hater, like to see all of this vindicated and to feel that payoff emotion. and a manner, oh, it's, it's astonishing. Especially after I failed on certain other elements of the portfolio, right? You don't have to talk about those. No, I don't. Like what? No. Oh, sorry.

Sorry. A good dub, bud. I never cashed a ticket with Usher. Like, you know. Hey, day's not over. What? Yeah. What does cash a ticket mean?

I mean, like, you know, you never got caught. Like, Usher's evidently just kind of okay. It's fine. Oh, okay. like he's okay he's fine but man the work put in the work on this christiano rinaldo investment right tended it nurtured it believed in it believed in it right held on to it right that's me i'm christian bail in the big short right they're like hey we're all going to pull our money and i'm like go ahead and fucking do it i don't care if he won with real madrid i'm going to

stick this out and it took a lot of bricks but this one i can pretty much say We topped out here, boys. We did it. Yeah, from the cornerstone, from the cornerstone to the wind vein, right? From the penthouse to the hint house. We did it, Jill. We did it. I hope that all of you eventually get this kind of payoff for your haterdom, right?

And Trump's totally going to say his name wrong, too, in front of him. Chris, let's just call him Chris. Chris Ron. Chris Ron. Ronnie, Chris Ronaldo Yeah Or he's just going to be super creepy

But I'm going to be like, look at this guy He's a beautiful guy Really just a really good looking fella Beautiful man What is the meeting? It's just it's part of the whole like Hey, let's have the Saudis over For a chill hang

Oh my God So it's just like my cool friend is here Will you come over? Which is already Which is already resulted in a press opportunity Where when asked about the The murder of Jamal Khashoggi President Trump said things happen

That was his that was essentially his His response was That might be the truest thing he's ever said His response was to say Koshoggi was not a popular guy And things happened Oh You shouldn't insult our guest

He cast it off with things of that nature the bone sawing of Jamal Khashoggi? Yep, yep. All right. All right. Yeah. And now, Cristiano Anano is going to sit down with them.

We continue to live in the most normal of times. Yeah. That's right. Messy won. He's only an international tax chain. But that's fine. Honestly, at this point,

that's cool. If you're a soccer, if you're a soccer star and you haven't had an international tax case against you, are you even trying? You know? Yeah. I mean, the Spanish tax.

Lisa, they're kind of just out there doing stuff, right? They're like the NCAA, man. I don't believe any of that shit's real. Come on. Leave Shakira alone. They went after Shakira. Oh, now, God.

Messy's got like six sleeves, too, like sick sleeve tats all the way up and down to everything. He does. And you know, it's inside Lienel Messi's head? Ball. Only that's it. Nothing else. It makes me sound like a dog.

He's good. Yeah. You ever seen an Australian Shepherd? just kind of running around, herding stuff. Okay. Yeah. Like, I'm kind of convinced you could look at Lino Messie and be like, they're the best at that thing, you know?

Yeah, just look at it and be like, yeah. And he just comes barreling over. Bicycle kick. Like, once people got on board, Air Bud was super popular. Hang on, I have to make clear. His name is Buddy, not Air Bud. Okay, I apologize.

Wait, what? People seem to forget that the dog, name is buddy not airbud and like they're the they're they're making this new air something that I'm aware of well they keep they're there because they're crowdfunding an airbud reboot and they keep referring to the dog as air bud but the dog's name is not air bud it is buddy buddy the dog so what is is this would this be like calling jordan his airness yeah or like yeah i guess so or calling him king james instead of lebron or something okay i feel like i would just call jordan sir I would be too scared to say anything else.

My brain started to slide sideways off its platter at their crowdfunding an airbud remake. There's nothing else to crowdfund for at this point. Yeah, yeah, we're out. That's Lino Messey. Little Messie's just the anime character. They're like, what do you want to do, Lino Messie? And he's like, I want to win! That's it.

Yeah, yeah. Headful of ball, power levels off the scales. Occasionally commits international tax fraud. The best part of the AirBud reboot is they've chosen and three dogs to be Buddy none of the three look like each other. They're all like three very different versions

of a golden retriever. It's very David Lynchian in that regard. Like noticeably so different. I thought it was weird when Buddy started talking backwards in a red room but it was a good movie I gotta tell. There was just an intense montage of flames for some reason

and like some weird rockabilly over it. Yeah. I do hate that David Lynch died before he could be involved in this. what a dog there's still time to like maybe cast like RIP David then she would have made Air Bud smoke

Hey what Dog plays basketball He's incredible This would have been so pure Yeah And then we've got a ghost But it's a really friendly ghost Ray Wise is trying to kill

Airbud the whole time It's really fucked up Yeah Ray Wise is doing some crazy shit yeah yeah at 930 you see red oh god damn yeah so i hope all of i hope all your i hope all your hate and pays off like mine did this week right investors stay strong some might tell you to forgive diamond hands i'm going to tell you diamond hands stay on it because it will pay off that's good business speaking of podcast business what's the business

Podcast business, it's a business, podcast business, we're going to talk about the stuff we do to make some money. Do you go into these knowing what the, okay, that's what I thought, but I didn't know if maybe you've, like, sometimes done some prep. No, it's just me, Lane Kiffin, and Lionel Messi. Off the dome. Head only full of ball. That's right. That's it. Only no ball.

Puppy know nothing. Yes, welcome to podcast business, where I would like to tell you about a newsletter you should subscribe to. That's right. You should subscribe to the Channel 6 newsletter. That is right. Channel 6. That is Holly and I's newsletter that we put out two things a week, at least, at least. Probably be getting more than that on average.

We do the top whatever, which is our summary where we rank whatever we want to rank this week. I ranked Lankiff and First because for the moment, he has the metaphorical. mandate of heaven in that we all have to sort of wait around for whatever he's going to do. But we talk about a lot of other things too. We write essays. We sometimes do a little bit of audio. We go ahead and we have a hangout on Saturday morning pregame where we answer not just your football questions, but questions about life if you would like to do that.

But for subscribers only, that is channel dash 6.ghost.io. Again, channel dash 6.ghost.io. It's an ending of our bios. It's 10 bucks a month for two things a week. Well worth the investment. also sometimes there's fight breakdowns sometimes we do a fight breakdown with joel anderson sometimes we bring him sometimes we tell you what you need to do to properly build your football program not program but program that's very that's very important in my opinion practical life

advice practical life advice we're here to help that channel six that's right uh phantom island is the show i do with stephen godfrey server produces that sucker um We talk about some football, some not football. This week, our episode is about WNBA's officiating crisis and stress and all of that. We have a fun guest on to talk about that. We talked with Roger about the CFL last week, I think that episode was. What is one of these shows just going to hire Roger? Great question.

It's everywhere. I think he enjoys being the like regular party guest is what it is. It's like somebody else's baby. You get to hang out with it, but then you get to pass the baby back. Okay, I get that. Yep. Roger, your podcast cousin. Yes.

And sure enough, after we recorded our CFL episode, I watched the Grey Cup. Do you know who decided the Grey Cup, although not in a good way? Who? Shea Patterson. Shea Patterson fumbled on the goal line for Montreal when they had a chance to tie the Grey Cup against Saskatchewan. He bucked up. Saskatchewan wins the Grey Cup. You can listen to our episode about all the rule changes that are coming to

the CFL, many of which we don't like, and many of which we don't want to see happen. And why is the CFL trying to be more like the NFL, leading to the CFL the thing that doesn't usually happen. But congratulations, CFL. I like that you have to specify. A thing that doesn't usually happen with that condition. The thing that Canadians don't usually do. Yeah.

You can listen to Phantom Island. We have a free episode on Wednesdays. We have a subscriber episode on Fridays. If you want to listen to the subscriber episode, go to phantom island. dot show and sign up two day um my band is called

killer ants with a z or z if you're in the UK Australia, Canada or New Zealand we have a show this Saturday, November 22nd at the 27 club in Asheville North Carolina we're playing with Super Heat and Mortimer

I think we're opening up the doors at 8 it's only $5 to get in come see us play a show say hey to me and support local music in that area. I have a podcast called Hand in the Dirt. It's a gardening podcast about football with Stephen Hartzell and Michael Felder. We are Thanksgiving episode drops this week. So tips for Thanksgiving, Thanksgiving prep, what to do with turkeys, how to fry turkey, you know, how we fry our turkeys,

what the overall deal looks like. That's out this week. If you're listening to this now, when you're done, you can hop on over to Hand in the Dirt and check that one out as well. aside from that do want to shout out one of the maybe nerdier things about me is like watching streamers like play video games and e-sports and things like that

I didn't want to say a quick rest in peace to rebecca heinemann she's America's first e-sports champion Rebecca heidemitt is also trans she passed away yesterday so kind of a forbearer in that whole

industry and specialization so it was a really cool person there's a documentary out there about her winning that championship I believe it's called a high score so yeah just rest and peace to Rebecca Heinemann

and support trans kids always hey a reminder if you buy any PTKU branded merch at our store which is available at pre-owned airboats

dot com now through December 31st We donate 100% of the proceeds that we make from PTKU, not a portion of the proteins, not our profit. All of the money that we take in from the sale of PTKU merch goes to support a different local or regional or statewide trans-supporting organization every single quarter. This quarter, that is Trans-Ohio, not Trains, Ohio, which a lot of if you were excited about. But we could maybe call this the ground transportation partner to Mid-South Airlines if we wanted to. I think trains can be trans.

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and other college football news, a smorgasbord of content that will avalanche into your inbox for just $4 a month. That's patreon.com slash shutdown forecast. I think that's all the business we have to cover. Let's look at the schedule. Boy, this is going to be short. This week's kind of ass. Yeah, this week's kind of ass.

I'm not going to lie. It's not good. there's like hey Florida plays Tennessee just get that out of the week that's not good unnatural unnatural bad unclean no stakes game don't like this at all trash just I have to watch it want it yeah it's indicative of the week's quality overall that I'm very excited about the Friday game like that's probably what I'm most

Hawaii UNLV yeah yeah yeah that's that's quality get out of here ACC we don't need you this week I don't think that should be some kind of sliding scale of the weak's quality. That's a legitimately entertaining prospect. Yeah, no, no, no. That's a good game. That is a 100% good game. I don't know.

That's not some kind of harbinger, though. Well, I don't really have much past that is where I'm trying to get to. Like, usually I'm like, that and. It's that and, right? Pit at Georgia Tech. Okay, cool. That's, that's, remember Pat Narduzzi cares about that game. He doesn't think it's okay.

to lose that by a hundred. That's, I think, official. It was implied last week that he was not okay losing this one by a hundred. Didn't lose Notre Dame by 100 for what it's worth. No, no, he didn't. So something different happened instead. Also bad. Yeah, this is ranked on ranked.

This is 22 Pittsburgh versus 16th ranked Georgia Tech. Have fun, Georgia Tech's defense, because you haven't been having fun the last couple of weeks, giving up tremendous amounts of points in yards to luminaries like Boston College. You have Mason Heinzel coming in to town. Good luck. Good luck. That's all I got to say. I can be talked into Louisville SMU.

Oh, yeah. SMU is still alive in the ACC title game, even though they're seven and three because they only have one conference loss. God, I love this conference. Can I tell you Louisville played such a disgusting game last week that I'm kind of off them, like bad clams? Yeah, sure. No, but this, that's why I'm kind of last week. I'm just getting server another end.

Clemson 1. That's what happened. He called it. You did. I can also, I can also be talked into Missou, Oklahoma, if I'm being honest. That feels,

okay, easy reach here. It's Oklahoma, so it feels like it's going to be ugly as hell. Sure, but in a positive way. think. Yeah, and the positive, you know, dog so ugly that you have to love it kind of way.

Yikes. Okay. Okay. Yeah. It's going to be that kind of like, man, this team's just crappy. 250 yards of offense. Mizzou four turnovers. That kind of, right now they're writing the must champ deviation where they're getting all

the turnovers and playing really good on defense and they're not making huge mistakes on offense and special teams is kicking in and they're winning all of the margins and it's not sustainable they're not going to be able to keep this going for more than this season it's kind of amazing to watch doesn't matter we're about the now yeah yeah um Kentucky vandy all right that's happening sure sure the hottest QB matchup in the SEC and I'm not even joking Diego Pavia versus cutter Bowley sure yeah just like we drew it up just like we drew it up they're shit up. Coastal Carolina at South Carolina,

we will finally decide. Oh boy. Who the better Carolina team is? Which chicken is real? Chicken or beach? Oh man. It reminds me of that one terrifying crayon drawing of Mario and Luigi

with their colors reversed and it just says they are not themselves. What does it mean? And I can also be talked into Scott Satterfield's struggling because BYU goes to

CINC. Oh, no. Yeah. I mean, you don't want those problems. Yeah,

I mean, you remember when we were like, oh man, Sinci might win the Big 12. Not so much. No. Not so much.

Both teams from Utah had some thoughts. Now, could they cause weird tiebreaker chaos in the Big 12? Yes, they could. Yes, please.

That would be fun. I think the Big 12 and the ACC are both set up for a very fun last couple of weeks in that regard. I would like to include the American in that conversation. Oh, 100% of teams that are in, like, this week, it looks like everyone who's, let's take

people through it. So everyone this week who is five and one in the American looks to be like, okay, I'm, I'm a little wary if I'm Tulane going into Philly to play Temple. I don't know why that game feels like it could go very poorly and suddenly sink their chances at the college football playoff. but those three teams east carolina two lane north texas are very much in the hunt for the fifth college football playoff uh conference champion spot right yes um ecu plays utsa on the road in the alamo dome things could definitely get weird there two lane like i said plays temple at the link

uh and north texas plays rice at rice that one feels the most like we'll get through that yeah unscath not doesn't feel as trappy um east carolina next week uh goes to boco to play f a u that feels like a game that they should probably take care of business in uh and two lane goes to charlotte so if they dodge this bullet uh with temple they're probably okay nor texas has temple next week but they do host them um all those teams only have one loss in the american i don't know do you guys know what the three-way tiebreaker is not a clue not um and if i'm looking at North Texas did not play ECU.

And they also did not play Tulane. So Tulane did beat ECU, so they would have a tiebreaker over them if they were to win out. But, like, there's nothing to really

to do with ECU and North Texas. So I don't know how that. It looks... Oh, the tiebreaker policy for the American is weird. Yay. Good. Okay. You want me just read it? Mm-hmm. Yeah. If there is no head-to-head result and one of the Tide teams was ranked in the latest available CFP Selection Committee rankings and doesn't lose in the final weekend of regular season conference play, it will be declared a championship game participant.

If there is no head-to-head result and one of the tied teams was ranked in the latest available CFP selection committee rankings and loses in the final weekend of regular season conference play, then a composite average of selected computer metrics, Connolly, SportsSores, SOR, RASP, and KPI, Bala, will be used to determine the championship game participant. If there is no head-to-head result and both tied teams are ranked, the higher-ranked tide team that doesn't lose will be a championship game participant. If there is no head-to-head result and neither of the tied ranked teams wins, then they go to that composite. If there is no head-to-head result and neither of the tied teams is ranked, then they use the composite. If still-tied, win percentage against all common conference opponents is where it could get spicy. Christ. Woo!

I did fail to mention that Navy also only has. I love the legislative process. Navy has Memphis left on Thanksgiving. Yeah. So that could get extremely interesting as well because their Army game does not count against their Convent tracker because it's the week after. So I don't know. America's going to get super weird at the end of the year.

And part of me is really hoping that ECU backdoors their way into that fucking thing and wins it and gets in the playoffs. I think the way to look at this week's schedule is not necessarily so much like what bangers. Like, yeah, USC Oregon hopefully will be good, et cetera. But maybe it's more like this will set up, this is where we can set up a lot of confusing things in multiple conferences at this point. That's what, that's the spirit I'm bringing to the table today. Is this the episode where it sets up something disastrous later on? 100. Yes. Yes. Like, oh, yeah, maybe you should, maybe you should go there, you know, on Friday the 13th.

Right. Right. Right. It's going to be fun. We're all going to have a good time. Temple is important. Don't worry. Everything's going to be great. Also, on ACC Network, you can watch UNC's Last Gasp. They have to win or they're not making a bowl this year. They got to beat Duke. They got to beat Duke. They got to beat Duke.

They got to beat Duke. And then they got to beat NC State the week after a so. But if they lose this one, that's lost number seven. And it will officially drop them to a tie with Stanford and Florida State in the ACC standings at two and five. To be clear, if they win. out, they will have tied Clemson in the ACC. Yeah, that's true. Which, if you

tell them at the beginning of the year, they're probably really stoked on that. Yeah, but they lose the tie breaker, unfortunately, since they lost. They lost. Damn, head to head, got me. Just like Bill. That's okay. That's okay. We'll get them back in the playoffs. Bill? I'm excited. I'm excited for a whole offseason of

Bill Belichick will fix this. Don't worry. Bill Belichick will get this shit frighted. Christ. What makes you think he won't, Ryan? No reason. No reason at all. As long as he gets that Olivia Nuzzi profile, everything's going to start turning around. Oh, man.