Shutdown Fullcast - Let’s Draft Some Fired Coaches

Episode Date: September 10, 2025

Week 2 of the college football season approaches. With at least ten games yet to be played for all teams, it’s time to decide which coaches are going to be fired. Now through September 30, 100% of proceeds from PTKU merch will be donated to Mid-South Trans Nation. Visit preownedairboats.com to find the finest Blue Sharks gear and other Fullcast-related itemsThis episode was produced by Michael Ray SurberFullcast theme song arranged and performed by Trey McClureSubscribe to our new $4 Patreon for more Fullcast stuff big and small, including After Dark episodes each CFB weekendCheck out Surber’s band, Killer Antz and his new show, PodcasterinoCheck out Jason's critically praised novel and other workDID YOU KNOW: Spencer writes Channel 6, a year-round newsletter, mostly about football until it's not

Every now and then I see something on, I see something on TikTok that reminds me, one, that I'm very old, and two, that people don't know shit. Just generally speaking, people don't know shit. There's a guy who's climbing K2, and you get to K2, you've got to climb up to the Baltoro Glacier. The Baltoro Glacier is, it feeds the Indus River. I think all four of us, no, the Indus River. Cradle of Civilization, right? The Indus River. It's like, like, Tigris, Euphrates, Indus.

Those are like, and, and. Fertile Crescent. bitch correct correct okay you're with me an outer bank style sticker that says that yeah whoa assault life fertile crescent bitch what you know about eniseer what you know about the ziggurats of north carolina i get tagged on ian sear shit all the time you don't got to start with me about that listen i'm i'm digging shit like inkadu's dick yeah like that's yeah what we're talking about so okay but like without that we're all we know basic block of civilization

right yes i heard the following sentence said by it otherwise genial and pleasant mountaineering guy who's climbing k2 and he's posting the whole thing on ticot right uh which is great nice guy cleans up garbage at sites this dude's great but he did say this sentence which was yeah we're crossing the indus river right now on this bridge i've heard there's a lot of lore attached to this river. Yeah, I'd say so. It's not wrong. It's not wrong.

It's like, that is the greatest understatement I've ever heard. I was like, there are many factors to the Pacific Ocean. Yeah, exactly. I've heard this, I've heard this a good fan wiki for the Pacific Ocean. You know, there are many theories about space. I heard it's mad crazy. Yeah, kind of. That is really good because it's like literally some of the oldest lore that we know of.

Sure. I'm in Egypt. I've heard they have several stories that go back more than 100 years here. Land of prequels. It's the wiki on this. I just get like a thumbnail sketch on civilization. I'm looking at the pyramids. That was built by an O.G.

I mean, yes. Yes. As far as we know. We don't know of any older G. Very, most of the oldest G's. Like, like, the shit we think of is old, they thought Egypt was old. Yeah. So, like, so, yes.

Yeah. Yeah. A lot of lore attached to that. A lot of lore, I got to say. I think that's the mindset of somebody who would. say who is like, yeah, K2, seems like a good time. We're going to have a good time up there. Just a really cool mountain.

I'm like, that's one word for it, buddy. It's tricky. I feel like if you call something lore in certain, like, you could be treading in very dangerous territory. Like, I think if you went to the Pakistan, India border and you were like, oh, so much lore here. That's kind of a safe way to do it, though. You think so?

Because you're just like, there's a lot of shit going on. I don't claim to know it. Don't ask me to weigh in, please. Okay. I would say a fraught spot on the globe like that not only has a lot of crunch in terms of gameplay mechanics, it also has a lot of fluff in terms of lore, right? It's, it's, you got it. So if we, if you were, if you met a Confederate enthusiast and you refer to, you, you use the word lore, what do you think the reaction? Do you think they'd be like, I'd love to tell you about that?

He'd be like, no, it's history. God damn. Maybe you just play with your accent a little bit, and so he's like, he thinks you're saying, Lord, I don't know. Yeah, or maybe, you know, I think if you did that. She's a wonderful singer. I agree. That album where she put her butt on the cover, classic.

Wasn't that good of a listen? I gotta be honest. I like him a little bigger, but, you know. I'm more of a little bit. to bring the carpenter guy she's freaky Jesus Christ You just got canceled to shoot the album cover Oh you're in that discourse now you've waited in the war

Oh no I did it I did it You've been hit with the lore gun now Yep As I cross the Indus river Brother I got it The eye of Loron has pivoted to you Heard there's a lot of lore attached to this river

There's a lot of lore attached to this river there's a lot of lore attached to this album cover what college athletics program has the most lore the the sheman sheer tonnage yeah just in like amount of lore a and m and that was the first one i thought of it was a first one i thought of Auburn's got a lot of lore Auburn has to explain why they have multiple mascots like any shit like that you know like i mean it's gonna honestly that is one that we it's we're gonna have our our knee-jerk reactions two of us went with A&M on impulse but like if we sat down and and dug into it god i'm gonna a real quick survey just off the top of my head there are two different types of lore okay there's venerated lore and there's um unofficial lore

right never mind it's noterdame so right so right so like literally because they have actively made up shit yeah and lore is it's undocumented right so like a lot of the things that newt rotney said happened did not happen sure sure did not happen sure did not not. Now, that's mixed with a number of things that are documented lore and non-venerated lore, right? Like, that should be, by the way, like Notre Dame kicking the clan's ass. That's, that's lore, but it also happened. And it has its own legends. And then there's lore that happened, but doesn't matter, like the Shalala with Northwestern. That's real, and it's lore. It's just not important more. Yeah. That's just so much lore. And, like, Notre Dame football was a very

important part of American history in the previous century, legitimately, and also half of that is because it was full of shit, which in and of itself, it's important to American history. It's very important. It's extremely. Like, part of that is like, okay, they were the everywhere team that connected America's regions by kicking everybody's ass, and they made up a bunch of bullshit about themselves along the way. I don't know if it's the most lore, but it is the most American program, I think I have to. Listen, what's more American than being like, my debt.

My dying son wants you to win this football game. And you win the football game. You get off the train and he skips right up to dad. Healthy, not sick, totally well. Hail and hearty. Also, your coach was at the pool hall at the time. Yeah. Your quarterback who is a student athlete takes the cigar out of his mouth and is like,

I'll be there for practice. I got to knock off this sucker in a pool game first. Your coach converted to Catholicism just because he was mad at Michigan. Also, shit like that. There's a plane crash in here for no reason, you know? Yeah. I think Notre Dame definitely wins in terms of the average amount of lore that the average person knows. That's not a contest.

Yeah, sure. Rudy alone is 90% lore. We just put in the work. Yeah. Thank you. Thank you. Carrying the lore to the messes. Have you heard the good word of the bullshit we've made up about ourselves?

I think the other great lore moment, and this is, I think, where sports writing comes in it just the exact correct angle. Dan Jenkins doing an interview with Bear Bryant for SI once. And he said, you see that helmet over there? And I can't do a Bear Bryant. It's so deep. I can't even get there. Dan Jenkins is like, yeah.

And Bear goes, well, there's a little bit of pain off every single team in the SEC. There's a little bit of maroon from Mississippi State. There's some gold for Georgia Tech, blah, blah, blah, blah. And Dan thinks for a second. And he goes, I know you clean the helmets after every game, Bear. That's total bullshit. And Bear looks at him and goes, well, it works on recruits. Love it. Love it.

That, that right there. That's lore. A little bit of pyramids on that helmet. You can see some of the shitty copper from Inesir. You wouldn't believe how bad I hit Farrow. Didn't even see it coming, but fucking blasted him in the backfield. We don't spend much time in our libraries because we're too busy taking. can usher bannipoles.

I love that it works on recruits. That's my favorite part of it, because they come from some high school in the middle of Alabama where it's like, that's your helmet for four years, son. That's good.

I like that Bear Bryant was, it's going to be double dare by the end of it. Yeah, is also basically copying to the faking of relics that happened amongst Catholicism for centuries. Yeah, this is the one and only toe of me, Bear Bryant.

That's right. St. Catherine, wore this helmet you then she was beheaded in it you wouldn't even believe that bear the apostle paul's mouthguard the only one he ever wore ignore the 17 others bear i know you're lying about that toe it's like yeah we got it off a corpse last week shut the fuck yep this is the play chart jesus had on his wrist up on the cross you wouldn't believe it our game plan consistent three points Welcome to the shutdowns to the shut down full cast. are listening to the internet's only college football podcast i am spencer hall and i am joined as always

this week by ryan nanny jason kirk and michael surber on the ones and twos i i wanted to stem off of our initial football conversations about lore and suggest that we replace i in the top whatever which is the newsletter i write every single week during the season for subscribers for channel six getting a jump on that podcast business i wrote that we need to replace rudy with a book about one guy okay um who i did want to talk about this week anyway but i see a convenient on ramp to talking about we plan this yes absolutely uh kent broussard just listen the big broussard before yeah i wanted to just be like we need a movie that is the rudy story about this former accountant turned sousaphone player at the age of 66

Aunt Broussard, living the goddamn dream, becoming a freshman sousaphobe player at LSUU after having an entire life and career and attending LSUI.U previously. He went back for more LSU. What madness is that? You get four or five years of LSU plus that grad degree, and you go back and go, I'm still hungry. No, I think it's fine. I think it's like the shingles virus. It's inside him anyway, so it doesn't really matter.

Yeah, this is like, it was a. a like lifelong dream type thing or it was like 50 years ago in a story up today at theathletic dot com oh we one of our our intern reporters did the story on on Kent and yeah it was like a half century goal of his that one day he's like ah I got enough money time to start running up a down a hill with a tuba at which he did he trained like he was running you know 25 miles a week and he was doing some strength training. He had a weighted vest out there to simulate the weight of the sousaphone.

He's out there practicing, ruining his neighbor's lives. I think that's, by the way, respect to Ira Goro Wara for writing that, by the way, for the athletic, because it's a lovely article and you should check it out. But yeah, Camp Broussard,

I'm in awe, dude. I'm in awe that you were like, hey, do you know what I want to do at the age of 66? Play neck. It's beautiful. I want to dress, like, a soldier in a war in which we are invading a cartoon land, and I want to... I want to dress like a soldier in the My Chemical Romance Army.

That's it. Of Los Angeles Lakers, My Chemical Romance Army version. And I want to stand in the middle of 100,000 of the drunkest people imaginable, which Kent is prepared for that part. Whether he partakes or not, Kent knows what he's getting into there. He does. I really hope he's like helping, helping, he's an accountant, so I hope he's helping athletes with their NIL taxes, right? He's like, listen, don't forget self-employment tax. That's important. You need to take that out too. Yeah, for the he is retired, so he might just say, eh. You're on your own. I don't do numbers anymore. Good luck, kids. Only numbers I got time for is one, two, three, four, one. The Tiger Red.

flag played 23 times a quarter here we go um if ls u wins the national title this year kent will be held up as some sort of like total good luck charm right oh yeah he's going to be like the sister jean of football no credit to brian kelly that's what i do like that part i do really like that part like you got to tip your hat to brian kelly no the fuck no no he was he was trashed until kent showed up kent saved his ass over and over again that's right sorry ass out they should do that they should flash after every single touchdown they should flash over to kent broussard for the reaction shot side by side brian kelly is madder than anyone has ever been and kent looks like a chill person with a cool um vocation one of these men is blowing into a sousaphone

and he's less purple than the other one and in better shape just happier look at all the mistakes you've made in life brian kelly to get to this point far more beloved yeah walking walking the earth damned lonely cursed you could be kent broussard who literally can't walk around without 200 of his best friends brian kelly is three years younger than kent kent in 66 he said yeah he looks like 10 times better than brian kelly so i hope he just is going up to be like oh man one day you'll get to retire like me don't worry what if bry kelly retires and tries to join the band like he showed up trying to ingratiate himself among those people with his made-up accent and so forth.

Like, what if he's like, I'm going to win him over? Coaching football isn't the way to do it. Maybe he'll join the band like this old guy they love. They'd hate him. He'd pick up like clarinet or something. Oh, don't start band wars. Bad war. Don't do it.

I can hear Alex McDaniel rumbling to life somewhere. I didn't say anything about Piccolo. That's an important ingredient in the harmonic universe of the marching band, okay? The image of a clarinet rumbling to life. Yeah. I mean, all due respect to our clarinet. It's got a cold starter. Yeah.

I mean, all due respect to our clarinet players, where are you? We're not hearing you much. What are you doing? It's rare. In the marching band, putting a clarinet in a marching band, okay,

is like putting a pair of truck nuts on a Bentley. It just doesn't make sense. Okay. Yeah. By the way, kind of want to see a Bentley with truck nuts. exactly now that I've mentioned it I'm like now you're intrigued I'm intrigued is the right word that's the appropriate amount of interest we're showing here um so yeah shots out to camp presard

the future coach of the LSU tiger coach slash mascot slash inspiration I hope he gets the statue and Brian Kelly doesn't oh listen all other things aside the chances of Brian Kelly a statue or like where how far in the negative are they like they might that far they might build a statue to keep him out right they might build a statue as a warning you know what they do here's the circumstance i'll allow brian kelly has a successful tenure at lSU blah blah blah and they build a statute that's intentionally six inches shorter than he actually that i can get on board with they just build one that looks like butch jones And that there's a statue of Brian Kelly

I don't have a mustache Well, we wanted to set you to have one You should Look how handsome you look You're welcome Look at that Upgrade you Bam mustache

What else we're gonna do to him Let's see here You're more of a Mr. Potatohead Than a venerated coach If I'm being honest give you that fine Norman nose Appleine

Bam big nose Put eyes in the back I don't care Look at that Ain't got no cheeks Boom got your red beans And rice ass Upgraded

Go get all the Sims DLCs We're gonna trick this motherfucker out Now you Dracula Look at that That explains why you suck I won three national titles Fuck off

you know cat you never will be she made me look like petite coach oh bam upgrade you should be so lucky but with the kelly now your coach okay which is all you ever were i was thinking they put him up like statues of ogres and fairy tales like oh he's under the bridge warning like this is how they ward demons away

yeah or like those signs that they put over like radioactive waste dump so that when they find them in 3,000 years, they're like, nothing was achieved here. Leave, move. LSU hasn't lost, by the way, one of their first opener under Brian Kelly in 2025. Indicating they have lost several of them in the past. How do we compliment you? Well, not complimenting you. I have a neat trick. Brian Kelly has ascended to one in three. One in four. Yes. I believe it's one and, I think it's one and three now. It's one in three.

yeah four total he's lost games in the past he's lost those in the past but that's all that's all done now he's going to lose different games now didn't have kent yeah yeah brian kelly brian kelly didn't you shit kit did shit most saying brian kelly's a kent merchant do without kent that's what i'm saying do it without kent's talent kent's roster yeah you know what a former accountant can do stack those points up that's right he's getting you savings or the numbers working out better for you now brian kelly yeah congratulations you're probably

yeah you're probably slightly better than troy that's what i know about ls u for once for yeah come on long memories long memories are already working um right i wanted to come back to something that we discussed um which is that you introduced to me the of yeah no we're gonna do this because it's in my it's in my brain now it has to be in everyone else's brain okay because I am a giver dude wipes has a pumpkin spice flavor flavor scent um I'm really unclear on the word let's say varietal at this maybe both they describe it as scent okay okay what's and what's you said pumpkin spice but that's not the name of this product no I'm gonna say it I'm gonna say

going to say it good yeah the name of the product is dumpkin spice yep yep yeah and includes uh includes the headers wet beats dry i see it depends yeah sure i understand the context um anyway i was trying to think once this rattled around my head right like a super ball for an entire day Uh-huh. B-B-B-B-B-G-B-G-B-G. Um, first of all, the other flavors. Stop calling your flavors. God.

Stop eating. I know they're plant-based. Stop eating the dude wipes. They're out of stock of dingle bells, is what I need you to know. Sure. Uh, but herbal relief. Okay. That's not crazy.

That makes sense. Yeah. Fragrance-free. That's crazy. Not crazy. That's fine. Shade better smooth. This is a little much.

That makes sense. No, it's okay. I don't know if that's what, I don't know if that's necessarily the move I want when I'm thinking about what's going on in the undercarriage. It does sound like it's going to move. If it's shay butter smooth, there will be there will be too much move. That's, yeah, it's a lot of motion. I want things to not quite be that much in motion, right? Easy, easy, easy. Additionally, though, there is a, there is a, there is a scent, mint chill. No. I uh yeah I use that oh is that does it work is it like it's fantastic give you a little pep in your step it's quite refreshing and my muddle don't stink that's what I'm asking it's like is there a mint has a

sort of warming uh warming cooling no sensation to it uh no it's just um I don't know it's refreshing Okay, okay It's better than just It's better than just paper All right, so we're doing a little Now we're doing consumer research here Yeah, we're doing it As a dude wipes consumer

Do you feel like, I really wish there were Like seasonal variety to these Do you, does St. Patrick's Day roll around You're like, oh, I wish they made corned beef and hash Your Wipes Nah, I make that myself the seasonal variety thing because here's the thing because here's the thing i can't tell a difference between the mint chill and the regular it's just on the subscription that we got to where they

send us a couple packs of these every few months um we they were out of one and they started sending the mint chill and that's what they've been sending and it's so i never even considered like that there was seasonal variety. Okay, so now you're thinking about testing them all and ranking them. I definitely am interested in Dunkin' Spice now that I know exists, yes.

I guess the thing that troubles me is like if you start from I don't want to have a smelly butthole. Great, on board with that, support you in your journey. Yeah. Where I have a little trouble is shifting from, I want my butthole to smell

specifically like certain things. I want to have custom butthole scent that's the part i'm not quite personally on board with we listen and we don't judge but i do have questions not for you server since you're not a dumb kid spice no i'm not yeah no i'm an open book though you ask away i think mint is this is a specific scent that i found jarring um and in my own mind and heart i'm interrogating why for me it jumped out as that is a surprising thing i think it's the i think it's the combination cooling warming sensation. I think it seems like a lot going on for that particular piece of real estate. I think

it might have been, yeah, it might have been imagining the like jolt of like, whoa, that's a spicy scent, you know? Like, oh, you think icy hot. Yeah, yeah, yeah. Or like, oh no, there's some Dr. Bonner's on my butthole. I also think a lot of... Which, if you've done. What a time!

Hell yeah, brother. Yeah, you do that. It's like you leave it on for more than half a second. You're going to Mars. I'm going to have one Dr. Bonners. Two Dr. Bonner! Yeah! Three Dr. Bonner! I also think it's that what Spencer has unintentionally revealed by keep calling them flavors.

I don't necessarily want them to be things that evoke the other half of, the other exit port of my elementary canal. Don't eat that circle of life invoked, yeah. That's what, yeah, that's why the shay butter one I'm okay with. Yeah, yeah, yeah. The mintiness evokes toothpaste, where a shay butter evokes skin. Yes. Pumpkin spice. to be ingested.

You're not going to have that hot Cheeto flavor, right? That's just not... They might. You might get natural. Now I'm listening. Now I'm listening. Now I'm listening. Yeah.

Interested. Yeah. Baja blast. I would like a Baja blast and a flaming hot Cheetos to pair. Listen. I'm a true connoisseur's delight. I can tell you because I live in the epicenter of it,

we are a year away from Nashville hot chicken dude wipes. Okay. Okay. Do you want the excruciating pain? of a trip to princes combined with none of the ingesting pleasure of the actual frame. Sim to end. Yeah. Stop it off with some ranch quilted northern.

Have you taken the hot butt wipes challenge? Would you like to be more agitated than you've ever been in your life? We're going to start our own interview show called hot buns. Yeah. You don't see anything actually happening. They're just sitting there on donuts going on. in pain as I ask you like to go on your third album

well Paul Rudd or Jenna Ortega are just sitting there no selling the whole thing like no it's not bad Shaquille O'Neal sitting there sweating I like this because it also suggests that the host is doing this at the same time

it's totally cool it would be unethical to make the guests do it themselves yeah yeah here comes the final challenge I volunteer is tribute Michael server influential We need to get Michael server on his like skyrocketing like Ascent and Fall Star arc with this right

Like America's best talk show host Here on hot buns Sean Evans, but for butts Yeah Yeah he blew all that hot buds money on Hot Buns money on boats And he doesn't regret any of it He blew it all on Rolling Stones

Like EPs Yeah Huh Yeah I Yeah, that's dumb. Again, not a sponsor. I think pretty clearly not a sponsor. Pretty clearly not a sponsor. No, I'm kind of horrified by the notion. I think the fact that we could rank these flavors, and yes, we're going with flavors means hot ones needs to send us a pitch on, granted, we have one and only sponsor, but perhaps we could, I don't know, tour of their facility or something.

You know what? I don't know that hot buns could necessarily be a year-long show in the same hot ones is. I do think they could do like a once a year hot buns special. We're going to do it like the morning after Thanksgiving. Yeah, yeah, that's a great plan. You know what, though? You might have to retire and be like Michael Serber. Yeah, man, what a rise, but he had to retire because asshole got blown out. Yeah.

The morning after the Super Bowl. Yeah. You ate a lot last night. I bet you could use some time on hot guns. We can sell anything. You can just say this out loud. and people will, like, somebody will be like, yeah, that sounds right, right? So Stephen Soderberg, one theme I've noticed throughout your work.

Weird flavors of dude wipes and guys trying them. There's been a theme of body horror, which I find appropriate here today on hot buns. Yeah, by the way, I'm sponsored by Alien Earth. Yep, going to pay, you, yeah, horrors beyond imagination, hot buns. I really do want to imagine, though, the world where we have the pop rocks, like the pop rocks one with the bidet so that you could, you know, combine the two for an explosive experience. That'd be amazing. Sure. Sure.

The sensation. Imagine. Never be more awake. As an uncle, I feel, and on a podcast with three other dads, I do feel the need to step in here and just say, as a PSA to everyone, don't, there's no such thing as a flushable. wipe, don't flush a wipe ever I can move on now. But that's just I got to get that out. No matter what it tastes like.

No matter how good it is. Throw it in the trash. Hey listen man, they're never even making it to the LZ. That's how tasty they are. Lost another packet. Sorry, too delicious. Why did it get nastier when you called it

that? Like it's fucking sheets of Philo dough this hot chicken flavored I mean you can't stop making a sandwich you want just

one extra later flavor you know a little something to carry you through all of that nutrition you know astronauts eat these

I don't think that it's true and I just shit every time I leave the house I just wad a couple pop them in my mouth throw a few in my bag

for later you know i was also wondering if the nutmeg would make you hallucinate if you were a little too aggressive with the wife you know nutmeg drive sailors nut drug used to drive sailors in saying because they'd get so bored and smoke it but unfortunately the amount of nutmeg that you need to smoke to enjoy a pleasant series of hallucinations is exactly one microgram under the next level which is satan himself puts you in the figure four for four hours so what we're pitching to dude wipes is acid dude wipes yeah

it's a it's a neck as membrane right yeah yeah but a responsible amount of acid sure I mean it's expensive so we're not getting shit away this idea has been endorsed by Robert F. Kennedy's uh dude wipes have changed

everything about my life and love life it applies to your butt hole Oh, I ought to be all like this toilet water. That's not fair. He has a condition. Yeah, fuck him.

To accurately depict him, you would need to combine all four of our accident. Then you would have it. Yeah. The sound of a man failing a reentry test in a space capsule all the time. That's what he sounds like. And yeah, I don't care why it happened. Fuck in.

uh speaking of guys who should be fired that's right holy holy crap great and we've already talked about brian kelly so we have been speaking of guys who no one likes um so uh hey there florida gators um the two of you happen to have the same head coach of your favorite football team he's doing really poorly and for the as seems to happen every september he is on the hottest seat in the country last time he pulled it out um this time it's on the natural hot chicken dude wipe of hot seat this time it'll be fascinating to see uh how far he can get he is in a um he's he's in like a first run of a one of those one of those one of those haties one of those games that you know you're just going to lose your first run you're going to get a little bit further each time you know he's in a

he's in a dark souls right now it'll be interesting to see how far he makes it in honor of that and also another coach in the power for decided it is time to run back our annual we've done it at least once i don't know call it annual hot seat coaches draft folks um how it works is we will take turn selecting coaches each fired coach will be worth a point value and the earlier the coach is fired the more points that coach is worth if you draft the first if if one of your coaches happens to be the first one fired, that coach is then worth a point for each subsequent coach firing. If there are 25 firings, there's usually about 20, then whoever picks the earliest fired coach will get 25 points for that. If you pick somebody who's fired last, you get a point, but not as many as you would

have gotten if you picked somebody who's going to be off in week three. And yeah, those are the rules such as they are. And I assigned a graph order based on who showed up to the Zoom call first, which, as Ryan noted, that is exactly how the NFL does it, so the Browns always pick first. And sorry, Serber, this feels really mean to say you're the Cleveland Browns, but I'm saying you're very prompt and punctual to have been here first. And you have the first pick in the hot seat coach. Can I ask one clarifying question before we get rolling?

Who is the arbiter of whether it counts as a firing or not? I want to use Scott Satterfield as the example. When he left Louisville to take the Cincinnati job, not technically fired, wasn't given a buyout, great for Louisville from that perspective do we have a neutral third party who will be deciding which of these count as a firing and which don't

yeah Jason a neutral third party no but we do have me and you know we will lean toward like eh come on okay like we decided it wasn't working out for us yeah okay okay got you yeah and and you know I will uh regardless of whose selection it is I will

lean toward an ex-accounting. I trust your integrity on the subject. Thank you. Thank you. Server, what was your question? Yeah, so this might be a stupid question, but I just want to make sure I don't unfortunately give myself a chance to win this easily and then lose it. I can't pick someone. Like, say there's an interim head coach,

and then that interim tag is removed, and it's not head coach, and I pick them, does that count or no? I would... I think, like, Frank Reich, for instance, would only count if he's fired in week seven, if he didn't finish his whole... But if I got the first pick, so I can just say it now. I pick Biff Pogie, that doesn't count, right? I just kind of want him.

I think if, if Michigan does so poorly against Nebraska that he is fired, move from the staff altogether, then yeah, if that happens, I'm giving you 200 points. Okay. Okay. All right, I'm not going to do that then. I just wanted to make sure it seemed too easy to just not do it if I could. It's smart to test the, test the boundaries. That's a North Carolina calling, by the way.

Good call. I don't man you know I don't I don't I don't love like Billy Napier as like a number one pick so I'm not going with him I like I like this guy so I'm happy to draft him also just to have him I think I like him anyways is to Sean Foster from UCLA I don't think he's going to finish the season unfortunately but yeah cool running back he was on the Panthers when I was a kid crap crap situation too yeah not great but like the fact that he was able to get Nico who other people have like been educating me probably might not be that good anyway but still I think the expectation was there to improve and it hadn't happened yet so I think Deshawn that's my number one pick to Sean Foster okay I think very like scapegoatable situation with um you know hey we're in the big 10 we should uh probably look like we're in the big 10 now hey we got you the expensive quarterback you know and like it's probably thing we're sure to be fired ah but it's easy to he only has one thing going for him he's cheap yeah yeah he was he was there he's cheap and he's

one of their guys like i yeah like that might bite me here but i'm also you know people i've having done some work with ucelia in the past and gotten to known people in westwood like that they're they want to win really badly and uh sometimes they don't have the money to back it up but i i think that you know enough people start buzzing if and especially if u.s. does good for the rest of the season they have a deep i have good news to you on that front if usc gets that nine or ten win mark like then ucla is especially motivated to man fuck this shit because we're tired of you know hearing it all right i i'm gonna do it yeah i'm gonna do it billy i'll take billy napier is off the board billy napier is off the board i don't now i'm

saying that by the way i don't think he'll be first necessarily but he's like pick him no no but he's like top three like i'm not sure that he'll be first okay but i'm thinking he'll be top three now okay uh my turn this thing around enough what i'm betting on is this not to please you but i'm betting on that they just end up sliding sideways in a hard schedule so bad like they're going to have to do that thing where they're like he's coaching out the rest of the season but it's done because otherwise that's okay so that raises another interesting question what what when is the time of firing is it when you are no longer the coach or is it when they announce you are out oh i think it's got to be like all right i'm not the arbiter of this but i would

have to say it would be the moment when they're like yeah you're done okay i think if the if a coach sticks around we'll still count it as moment of firing okay okay okay once it's once it's done once they pull the plug you might be breathing for a while oh god if the decapitated head is still blinking right okay okay okay you're still decapitated okay okay my opinion um okay let's see here I am next. A big name is already off the board. I'm torn between a couple, and I wanted to, like, closely review schedules beforehand, but I didn't have a chance to in time.

So I am going to just sort of wave my hands and razzle-dazzle while I really, really dragged this out. No, I'm going to, I got to go Trent Dilfer, and then I'm going to do more research for round two. Trent Dilfer, you know, he's got a couple wins upcoming, likely. Gosh, you better hope so. But that's probably about it. Again, I think, you know, like Napier, he's a good bet to be the first.

But even then, it's like, is it 10% chance to be the first? Regardless, it's going to happen. I'm delighted because you all have left me who I wanted with my first pick. That's Brent Pry. Hokey high. That was one of the other ones I was torn. And the reason why I really am high, so a couple reasons. Number one, they look.

fucking terrible in the second half at home against Vanderbilt. The Vanderbilt team that shouldn't have like surprised them because they beat them last year. If it wasn't for Oakey State, that is the worst performance of the year by like a power four program. Yeah. So that's that's the first factor. The second factor is Brett Prize buyout is not that large. It's like six and a half million dollars I want to say.

So like this is not one. There are some coaches on our list and Billy might be one of them where it's like part of the consideration is it's a lot of money we got to convince people we can do it we got to figure out how we can get money for the next guy or whatever virginia tech doesn't virginia tech has money problems they've pretty much already explained what those are but brett pry i think is there is not a financial barrier between him and the unemployment line at this point so i'm going to take him are we going snake order and i have the next pick as well yes despite you despite you showing up last on the zoom you have stumbled into the number one on your board

the first pick of the second round um gosh so like i'm looking through coaches sorted by record this season which i don't think is entirely the way that i want to hmm uh no i actually am going to go with another coach who uh has not no he's one-in-one uh yeah yeah i'll get get me sean lewis things are not going well in se Diego state um he's had a bit of time there I think that's a school that is very much aware of like, hey, you know, we have this new stadium. You were brought in so you could sort of like help us like keep, keep pushing to the next level. Yeah, I'll go ahead and say Sean Lewis for, I'll go a little bit of a flyer here. But your two is going, your two is not looking much better than year one was right now.

I think that's a good pick because like, I could see it because like that is a school with some pride and aspiration to it. going into a bigger conference. Yes, yes. That's the part of it that really makes me think, like, I don't know if they're going to be excited to make that jump if this doesn't look good at that point. I am next, and, you know, Scott Satterfield is really too. He's right there.

He's right there, dog. He's always right there. But he might squirm out of it by being like, I quit, or I took another job. slightly lower we're we're on to his tricks we're onto his tricks he his upcoming schedule is not fun yeah and up until you know okay you beat bowling green by not a whole lot they had i think they had the nation's longest losing streak something like that until until beating bowling green you know just because this gives me an excuse to keep an extra close eye on him i'm going to go and take the satman

okay just because i i i know i know he's going to be i know he's going to be i know i know he's going to be a judgment call and I want to make sure I have I have full full awareness of what he tries to do here strong Spencer I am going to select my next one was Satterfield so but but again a little bit of a dangerous pick a little bit of a risk because he might who no I got another job he's kind of a junior Napier in that way in that he won't save himself at his job he'll save himself at a different job sure uh i'm gonna go i have a real dark horse that i'm gonna save for third round um i'm gonna go for somebody who should be really obvious and let me tell you what an amazing and satisfying moment this will be for some people my gundy yeah

like once gundy gets the can man because i was like i'm looking through coaches like hot seat list and i'm like well i could see this and i could see that and then i saw gondy and i'm like nah he's fucking done. This is this is the one that I think will be the hardest to arbitrate because I can see a scenario where in November they announce hey Mike's decided he's stepping down he's retiring at the end of the season he's going to go be lead newsmax sports or whatever like I do think I think this might be the hardest one to parse by the end I think for and I'm assuming lots of listeners have been screaming for Gundy since like sure first pick since part of the reason since the end of the first quarter of the organ game.

Part of the reason I didn't take him is I'm assuming he's gone, but he's also like as big a legend as the program has ever had. They're probably going to drag this out. I mean, shit, they've been doing that for about six years now. I could see

a scenario where it's like everybody knows he's gone, but they wait a while to enhance it, you know, so maybe he's only worth a few points. I can tell you my inside line like what I'm betting on, right? Like the straight that I am trying to hit on the deal. The straight that I am trying to hit is, you ungrateful fucks, I'm the best coach

in the history of your program meets, oh my God, you're terrible at this, and we're not T-Boon Pickens, because he had beef with boosters prior, who he literally only won that beef because that booster died. And now he's got people who are not necessarily, they don't know the lore, and they want results and they don't really care that this guy really should have his name like on the field that is like the other scenario we're in like week five or six i'm not looking at the schedule right now he says oh should have taken that fucking tennessee job and they're like okay that's it you're yeah that's enough we're cutting you off this is me betting on mike gunny having a mouth

that's a great fucking bet server you have the two next picks uh i know and and like the people i wanted to have just been taken uh i'm i'm gonna gotta get this guy a different gig or something i i'm gonna take derrick mason because maybe mtsu things aren't going so hot i don't know that like he's i don't know how hot that seat is but um i don't i mean could just not go well for them this year so i'm going to take derrick mason uh after that i'm purely going off vibes of talking to someone about what happened this past Saturday and like what could potentially pile up really quick here leading into a game in Colorado where we were left they might be one in seven or one in eight uh rich Rodriguez maybe doesn't make it that's an

wow okay like they they I mean come up WVU like wants to not suck and they just lost to Ohio yeah at Ohio they just I looked at this if you looked at the advanced stats for it they lost to Ohio roughly as badly as Oklahoma State lost to Oregon yeah it was not close in any sense of the word it's not great and like I'm I like I love Pitt frankly I always will and I think it's going to get their ass this week Kansas looks pretty pretty okay I think Kansas is going to get them then Utah is going to kick the ever-living shit out of them and then from there like these the rest of these games I just don't feel like I don't feel like I'm I'm confident they're going to win down the stretch and then if they go into Colorado hosting or they go into that Colorado

game hosting Colorado and and Dion fucking gets their ass at home see ya this was fun whatever go back find another OC job or go back to the Sunbelt okay yeah it would be great if all of the people who like backstabbed him before just came out of the wood like the same guy like oh my god Joe Manchin let rich Rodriguez is responsible for like some of my fondest college football memories as a Clemson Tiger fan um but and and it's fun to watch his team sometimes this team does not look like any fun whatsoever yeah yeah that's a mighty swing I love it yeah if that happens you get 10 extra points thank you uh Spencer it's you again I am going to go ahead um how many rounds we got here uh what those are second to last second to last okay I'm

save i'm going to save my big swing okay uh and i'm going to try to pick up i'm going to try to pick up another easy one or what i feel like is an easy one and i think that um i'm going to pick up i know he's getting fired i think it might come late but this is another guy who i think might just be like ah suck my dick and just just fuck off like uh that's mark stoops i think Mark Stoops. He's got that he's got that mix of he's got that mix of an earned entitlement from what he's done for that program and a priority shift in terms of spending at the program because if you'll notice basketball spending some money at Kentucky right now. Yeah, you know what that means for football? Nothing good. Absolutely nothing good. And I think Mark

Stoops, the resignation there is figuratively real and it might be. be literally real sooner rather than later. Do you think he makes it to the Louisville game? One last time. Yeah. I think that's like that's what makes this a tricky pick is I can't see them being like, well, we're not doing this. We're not tanking the little fuck those guys.

I mean, that might be it. But I can also see him just, uh, I can also see them just can't in him early or him, or him initiating it, right? because he has interviewed for other jobs before. So there is one wrinkle here that could really fuck you. Kirk Ferrence hangs him up and Mike's like, I am out. I'm telling you it's week five and I will be out of here as soon as possible. That might be a, I think that's interesting because given the Texas A&M thing from a couple of years ago,

yeah, when they hired Elko after Stoops allegedly had the deal completely done and everyone freaked out about it on uh texas a&m side i think after that that button is touchy i guess is what i'm saying i think it's touchier than we think so yeah even if even if ferrance retires i think you're looking at a situation where maybe kentucky's like yeah we're not going to play with that okay i think considering his buyouts like almost 40 million dollars this is one where if he steps down we will assess the vibes right like yeah if he's if he's leaving and it's like if he's leaving and it's like well he actually went fine you know he went out on a decent note like they didn't look terrible against old miss no they were competitive they they were competitive they were in the game

until late yeah also like like like i hate to put salt on our wounds here but like if he can beat florida again they'll probably be like fucked this guy fucking owns the gators and like that's worth something. Yeah. I don't like that, but yeah. What would that be five straight that he's won over Florida? No, no, no. Remember, we took one off. We know. We took one off of last year.

Oh, sorry. Sorry. String broken, Kentucky. Fuck you. That's right. Pride is real, Ryan. Pride is real. I don't have it, but it's real. Order restored. New streak started. Daddy's home. House purified.

Who's maidenless now? Laying down the fucking law. Daddy's home. His tummy feels very bad. He's home and he's won and two against you. The team you beat for a quarter century. He's kind of nappy. So I have a pick that is sort of along the lines of Cerber's Assam Foster pick.

I'm going to take Northwestern's David Braun. who is 13 to 14. That's counting a really good debut year. Four and eight last year on track for a four and eight-ish this year. They're really bad, you know. I mean, they're Northwestern. That's their job. But still, like, in terms of what you want to be in a very expensive conference,

do you really want to be last with, like, the promoted interim guy? Maybe you do. I don't know. You've been that many times before. But that's my choice. David Braun. All right. So I'm making two.

These are my final two now. Your final two. Okay. Let's start with somebody in the O and two category. Joe Moorhead. This is year four at Akron. Years one through three have not been great. Akron is getting outmatched regularly.

I don't like Joe Morhead's going to take it personally. You know, this feels like one, like, yeah, gave me a shot. Didn't work. It's fine. We're moving on. I don't think it'll be like make a lot of notice, but. We're bringing back Terry Bowden. We're bringing back to magic.

He's rested. He's ready. Now, Jason, one of the tricky things about this game is that we're doing it after just two weeks. So there are a lot of guys on, I look through the list of, you know, sorting by Winston. I'm like, oh, there are a lot of guys who maybe started the year looking a little, looking a little iffy. But they're two and oh. And maybe they look good at two and no. So I think part of what I have to do is try and say, well, who do I think can.

really make the wheels fall off here amongst the two and o crowd and who is already sort of on shaky ground that it doesn't matter that they've started well the end will be creaky and i think i have to go with sam pitman so yeah i think like i get that they look better and i get that they might be good but i think sam pitman is my like everything's going fine so far but i still have to take him as a like yeah if arkansas can can get him out of there and upgrade they will try you got that's a bold i think you've you've picked that perfectly because there is the retirement factor floating out there for him so yeah this is this is where you want to leverage your risk i think it's true yeah good call i think uh along those lines for me this team had their scoring

margin at this point of 59 and 10 gosh that's a that's a stable situation um upcoming opponent include at Alabama, at Michigan, Iowa, Ohio State, at Oregon, Washington, at Indiana, Illinois, and at Minnesota. I don't think Wisconsin should fire Luke Fickle, and I wouldn't bet on it happening. But in terms of a fourth-round flyer, this is a terrible schedule. Yeah. And he's already a 500-ish coach there, so Luke. I didn't watch any of it, so I'm not going to say what happened.

that game against MTSU was close for a while. And MTSU is not great. MTSU is very bad. Yeah. That is not a good football team right now. Yeah, they're kind of inert. Like, I don't think anybody saw Jeff Grimes and said, poof, offense is good.

We saved it. I mean, that's the thing he's made. Took the enormous misstep of, I think, miscalculating, like, the offensive coordinator hire for year one. Two, hasn't sort of recruited at the level where you can make those kind of mistakes and talent will be. you out. And then three, somewhat fix the problem by hiring Grimes, but they don't, that's not like a difference maker. That's not like somebody who you go, oh, well, now everything's fine

because, you know, we're capable of making up some of that by scheming. You are describing the Will Must Jamp tenure at Florida, except with worse results. Yeah, we're just replacing pieces. Wisconsin has been good for the last 20, 30 years. I would not, you know, say Wisconsin was a fraud all along or blah, blah. what I'm saying. Wisconsin at times is also boosted by schedules that were not the hardest in the country. This time, it is the hardest in the country.

So the expectations at Wisconsin, I would describe them as slightly bigger than they probably should be. The one tricky thing about this pick is if he can get one marquee win against that schedule, that probably buys him another year. It's like Billy Napier again. It's like so many opportunities. Oh, well, he beat LSU. Yeah. And I think I think part of the difference is, like, I do think Wisconsin fans really want it to work with Luke Fickler. It was such a coup when they got him and it was such a like, it was like, look what we're doing.

Look how serious we are. And I think if he can give them like a piece, one piece of good evidence of like this can work, I think he will buy himself another year with that. Yeah. Partly, I just think Wisconsin's really interesting. And so I'm keeping a close eye on the server. or uh sorry spencer and then server for final two picks all right i'm going long hugh hugh hugh you know what that's a that's a bond pick that's like a government like like i'm taking risk we need to go ahead and shore it up with something sure and safe but even then i think looking at

how they've been thus far i think he's going to fall into that i've done just enough to not get fire territory and that of course puts aubert in a position that we like to laugh at which is you know ha ha you have to keep your coach who's just good enough and can recruit his ass off still because they are recruiting pretty well so i think jackson arnold the combination of jackson arnold and recruiting promise is probably going to bail hugh out in addition to that he hasn't registered a handicap since june of this year so it's not that he's staying off the links oh we have document no there's guys in my mentions on blue sky who on their little golf app like they look back and like the guy behind them the bubble said freeze and he's like oh and he looked

back and it was freeze so we have the Atlanta Braves racer no way to know yeah I'm gonna race him to the 18th get a free drink for this um I think I'm gonna take us I'm gonna take a little bit of a of a sci-fi journey here I'm going to project a couple of things and pick one that is 90%, 99% not happening, but is also like, I could see it, because there's some volatile factors there. Sharon Moore. Wow. I'll say Sharon Moore at Michigan.

And that is only because there is a very, very large asset, something that Michigan built their entire offseason around. I thought you're going to say an intelligence asset. Yeah, that's, no, they lost that, unfortunately, we think. but that Bryce Underwood, the presence of Bryce Underwood there and the management of Bryce Underwood feels like something that can put a lot of expectations and stress on a guy who came on as an interim effectively and then was hired from within and doesn't have a lot of the same sort of like, you know, certainly doesn't have the same credit as his predecessor obviously, right? Like Harbaud get fired. I said she'd buyout too. it is a low that's the thing it's a low buyout for if he mismanages bryce underwood or if there is a perception note that difference by the way if there's a perception that they have mismanaged

bryce underwood and they continue to look sluggish which they did they looked pretty sluggish against ok that did not look you know teams from year to year tend to look the same pretty much from like end of like from one season to the beginning of the next at least they didn't they don't have anybody to stretch the field they don't look particularly dynamic on offense that is his whole thing um i could see them getting impatient with chiron and going you know what we tried it we have somebody in mind and if they if there is like a like an emerging consensus on somebody like that then i think they would hop on that i don't know if that's mcdaniel i don't know uh not josh but uh mike former defensive coordinator i want to make that clear nobody is considering

josh mcdaniel for anything um soup soup soup time soup time in michigan um yeah oh geez if if you know what there i did i just prove my point you just said matt campbell and i'm like oh yeah there like that's the sell like what if they lose four or five games that really sting and brys underwood's like I don't know about this, then in order to keep that asset on board and give the program a little more shape and direction, especially with, again, if they lose to Ohio State, I think that, you know, because that's the thing that they have right now that is like the pillar holding that program up from like full championship hangover is that they still

have a win streak against Ohio State. Okay. Yeah, I think the buy, I think the only, for purposes of this game, the biggest challenge is I cannot fully grasp the idea that. Michigan would fire a coach before the end of the season. Right. Institutionally, it seems unlike them. That said, institutionally, they've changed a lot over the last 10 years.

That said, their coaches are suspended half the time. Who is really coaching them? If you tell somebody, don't bother coming in, you're already like, oh, I guess I didn't schedule me this week. You're not at the office anyway. For anyone who is yelling at their phone about Spencer saying Auburn has been recruiting well, they did recruit very well last year, and Hugh has been good in the portal. Yeah, so like, yeah, there's, you know.

Part of the stress for the P-Dance out there, yes, part of the stress put on Hugh Freeze is the collapse of his recruiting class in 2025, which famously happened while he was out working on that short game. If he can't beat a very beatable Alabama team, at least we think very beatable Alabama based on two results, I think that will be very stressful. The thing that he was hired to do? Like, imagine, imagine the dark scenario where Alabama comes into the Iron Bowl with five wins. Fucking shit show of a season, and Hugh can't get it done, and Alabama goes to a bowl game. He's still having a terrible year, but could have put the fucking nail in the coffin, and Hugh fucks it up. I think then the argument is, like, well, he was hired as the Sabin Slayer, but there's no Sabin Slayer. He was hired as the, like, the idiot who's magically capable of meeting Mick Sabin.

He's got this huge sword. He can't fight flies when he's talking about it. It doesn't make sense. You're doing the fighting game. Kaelin DeVora's water type. I came in with the wrong load out. Yeah. Snake can't complete this mission.

You've given him a rocket launcher. No, he absorbs lightning damage. Shit. This is like the poor hurting dog with no farm. Look at him. He's despondent. Just chasing the kids around like their sheep. They hate it.

Yeah. That's why he's always playing golf. he's just roaming around grass fields i mean you want the dog to entertain themselves he's literally throwing his own ball to chase he's out there playing fetch the poor guy the poor mongrel i mean it keeps him busy we need that we need it we need an eye on him in public we know that much let hugh get ass you want him to be great no no no no here are you serious about the sovereign or not because I know that when he was at his best at old miss chasing it

listen I think that's an offseason conversation they might have an offer I'm dead when you don't think they will they'll be like hey damn you know you I don't man you just seem off maybe you need that little gleam in your eye I think we need to increase coach's adultery budget we need to get

under armor to give him one of them adultery polos hey man I don't judge I'm Polly Cool if you want to do that that's fine You know, like everyone here in Auburn, Alabama, I'm Polly cool. Polly cool with it. That's me. I'm not judging. If that's what you need in your life, okay, the Lord understands first, and I'm not listening. Okay. Some people just got to have some ass, and if that's you, go get it.

Some people just got to adulterate. Listen, it's where to or more gathered, not who they are. That's right. I mean, shit, we hire Bruce Pearl. all right so does that leave uh servers closing it down okay i guess i'm gonna do this thing oh boy well i have to ask you the question like he's rubbing so stressed right how broke do y'all think

Alabama's willing to be pretty broke sure no i i like this i like this cailin deborre is my is the final pick he's mr irrelevant in the draft yeah uh do you know why i mean it's just it's just it's It's the stretch, dude. This is the stretch of games.

Fuck Wisconsin. Okay. Yeah. Georgia, Vandy, Missouri, Tennessee, South Carolina, LSU, Oklahoma. From the team that I've seen so far this year, based on all of those teams that I've seen this year. I, like, they're not going to tolerate going 500 on that stretch. Yeah. Because that means they're probably four and four at that, or five and four at that point.

Yeah. With, or excuse me. Six and four with Eastern Illinois and Auburn. And then, like, he might be coaching for his life in the Iron Bowl. In the Iron Bowl. Yeah. And then Rich Rod can take the job, as was destined. Yep.

He'll be free. I think the Tennessee game is the one that really could turn. Because, like, this is not a Tennessee team that anybody came into the year being like, oh, shit, they're going to wreck shop. They're going back to the playoff, whatever. And I think people are probably overestimating what they did against Syracuse, you know, whatever. they still got to play georgia first but if tennessee loses to georgia and then just fucking destroys that'll be a problem that'll be like this is we hate being on the wrong

we don't want to be on the wrong side of this specifically this game shouldn't matter to us anymore and you made it matter fuck you yeah the um you know if if bama goes tan into or whatever and uh it's it still at this point in time they are five and five in their last 10 power conference games, an incomprehensible stat that, like, I have rechecked a thousand times. I cannot believe it's real. Five and five, extrapolate that over a 12-game season, what happens. You know what I mean?

Yeah. If they play at the level they have for their last 10 power conference games, you have a 500 Alabama. They're putting up Napier numbers, yeah. I mean, for real, if you want to know the comparison, you're like, well, why are they going to be that impatient? You're like, that is Billy Napier's record at Florida, is 500 football. They're not going to tolerate it.

It's also, it's also such a big buyout that there's no, like, for, again, for purposes of this game, there's no reason to wait until the end of, like, if you're fucking furious in October, blow it up. It's a lot of money either way. It really, if you can't deal with it, rip the Band-Aid, honestly. Yeah, you ain't going to be any less mad. Right. To spend $5 million fewer dollars soon. Right. How mad am I in September?

Oh, so bad. And it's also like, think about every other big blue blood program has gone through, even Ohio State has gone through recent stretches where it's like, fuck, everyone's laughing at us. Everyone thinks we suck, talking shit, whatever. Alabama has not had to do this in so long. They do not have the institutional memory. Like, I know Mike Shula sucked. I understand that. That's fucking forever ago.

I think it's that. and it's also that tiny little fear in the back of your head like oh we have sucked before yes we feel like where ohio state we've been better than ohio state for 16 years before we've gone through almost this exact same scenario but like coaching legend leaves and we want that too yeah yeah yeah yes but like we we feel as if we have entrenched ourselves as a thing that can never fail yeah but we have failed and it was not long ago and like yeah there's new toys new buildings new budgets and so on and so forth and you have the expect you know everybody else has that shit too now by the way um it's like that that double feeling of like oh no we're not up here anymore

along with that fear of oh no we're down here again i think i think of the coaches we have listed I think I agree with this. Kail and Davor is still probably the most capable coach, the one who I think can avoid this. Yep. But that doesn't mean it will happen. Right. Yeah.

Because I don't know, and I don't know the barometer. Like, eight and four feels like it could get him fired. But, like, also five and seven could be a realistic outcome for this season. And that definitely would get him fired. So I don't, I don't really know, like, what is the, how bad, how, like, how, how, like, How mediocre can he be in, and continue on? And I don't, I don't know that, like, mediocre is an option. The personality, the personality thing is a problem here, too, because, like,

Will Mustchamp was supposedly so beloved at Florida and South Carolina that, like, buys you time. I don't think Kenlyn DeBore is a bad guy, but, like, if you talk to Bama fans, there is no buy-in to this guy personality-wise. They're not charmed at all. No, they are not charmed in the slightest. And I think that really fucks you. That's the kind of thing that can move eight and four from it's fine, you know, new quarterback didn't pan out, onto the next season, whatever, to, no, this is going bad fast and we're fucking sick of it.

Yeah. And like none of this is saying like bad coach or, you know, blah, blah, blah. Like, no, this is a very unique situation. By the way, bullet dodged by Alabama, by the way, on never hiring Will Must Jam, because they'd have such a hard time firing up. They'd be like, coach is such a good man. Never hiring him yet. Never read a book. I love him so much.

He is one of the, they are one of the very few SEC schools that he still has to visit. And man, he's, you know, contributing a lot to that Kirby smart defense. Gosh, we can't hire Kirby, but damn, we got to get the band back together somehow. Kirby trusts him, so. I mean, who's on Kirby's staff? Hey, here's a former damn SEC linebacker. Mike Bobo. Man, you know, he was supposed to get Texas job.

Texas is damn good. Texas, hey, they won the fucking SEC, man. We'd like to get back to doing that. Oh, they almost won the damn SEC, man. Okay. Is there anybody that the four of you look at and are like, I can't believe we didn't put this person on the list? So, Sunny Cumbi has had a lot,

LaTac has had a lot of hot seat talk, but, like, I mean, I'm seeing like seven and five here, you know, like six, that seems, that feels fine. It could be respect. It could be respectable. I think if they hadn't gotten it together against SMU, Dave Miranda probably would have been on this list. Yeah, yeah.

I think Dave Iranda could end up right back on this list. He could. Yeah. Like, Go ahead. I was going to say it feels like Tony Elliott is potentially like he has to get to six wins. If they don't get a bowl berth, he won't. But like six wins would be good enough.

Yeah. He built up a lot of goodwill because he was really good throughout everything that happened in his first year. I think there's a, I think a lot of people like him there, but they do, I think they have to get to a bowl game. Chandler Morris, Chanlon Morris might bail them out. That's the thing. Is that like they have enough, they have enough potential at quarterback to where I think they'll probably end up at six wins. And then after that, like, game or here, game there. Yeah. Right. I don't think they'll quite get to, they won't get to the level of suck where you go, oh yeah, like this candle. Just do it. Yeah. I think Venables is interesting. a big win. Obviously, I think they're a really good team. And also, for most of the offseason, it was like, oh, you need a good season, right? So it's still one to keep an eye on. They're just a very interesting team. I think they're good enough that it'll stick around. But he's one you've got to mention even after the big win. Lincoln Riley. I mean, they've been kicking

the shit out of bad team so far. No offense to Georgia Southern. But that's an interesting. interesting one as well. All right. We've obviously documented all of those and we'll keep track throughout the season. Careful accounting. Here's the thing we'll remember these names. I will absolutely remember to look at this spreadsheet once I am reminded by a listener in February. April.

Yeah. Let's pay some bills. We'll do a little podcast business. Very quick. Podcast business. What's that business? Podcast business. It's a business.

podcast business make money when you fire us that's called the buyout and it's why the coach is into home field's gonna fire us let's start with home field as you mentioned home field apparel the homefield can't miss kickoff tour presented by medello is going to philadelphia next uh fun fact do you guys know who's playing in the game that homefield is attached to for this the philadelphia eagles fucking birds bro in a manner of speaking yes because oklahoma is playing temple in this game and who went to who finished his career at oklahoma jalen fucking hurts did that's right that's right so in many ways this is a celebration that's right of the philadelphia eagles your super bowl champions for all time or at least until the next year pool is played who's to say that's whether

hey connor didn't sign up for this but i'm rubber stamping it right now homefield team of the birds can you buy an eagle's hat on homefield apparel dot com yes you can isn't the philadelphia eagles no it's not but it's green as shit motherwarker and i own it okay it's a green it's a green hat that says eagles fight me that's what i'm telling you you can also buy non-eagle stuff i suppose at homefield apparel dot com it's very comfortable it's very nice i did in fact just buy a usf long sleeve tea because fuck it if they're going to be florida they get a they get a they get a little monetary clothing respect technically we're their property now so yeah they're your alma alma alma mater and they get to a door in your body that's right that's right

this is this is what you this is what you own now us have congratulations that's home field apparel home of the philadelphia eagles who they're not technically affiliated with so please don't sue you're now responsible for my medical bills and my feed pay my stay my stable master my uh spencer how how do you provide for your own feed these days and pay for my special feed. It's just Cheetos, right? It's just Cheetos. It's dude wipes.

He's eating the dude wipes. He's eating dude wipes and those protein cookies. They sell it QT. A stack of them, like a fucking Klondike bar. I just put those, I just put those around a QT hot dog and baby. I'm lifting.

He's got a minty bockelva made out of it. Listen, little sacrament, little baklava made of that, and then I'm in the gym saying mass. Just to nibble on throughout the day. That's what I'm doing. What pays for all these edible dude wine flavors? That's right. That's right. Your subscriptions to Channel 6, $10 a month for two things a week, which we deliver without fail.

Myself and Holly Anderson this week, we are going to, we've already done the top whatever. That's our roundup where we just rank whatever teams we want, whatever things we want, things we want. Camp Resard was a solid top 10 pick this week, by the way, in college football overall. I decided to rank him over Georgia because you know what? I think he would have done a lot better against the teams that Georgia's face thus far. Okay, get on the map, Kirby. Yeah, that. We do that and we're also going to do a fight consult. We're going to do a little fight consult because my son is now the exact same size as me, so I've had to change the tactics when we tussle and when we wrestle.

So I'm going to be doing an ongoing series and, you know, dad hacks. We're going to, how to, how to still defeat your son and loving and jesting combat. Good. That's, that's one of the most SEO-friendly ideas you've ever had. It really is. How to fight, son. How to fight large son. Help.

I need a guide. Buddy, I'm looking up the Google trends on that right now, like as we speak. Sorry. Game informer son tactics. Beat son walk through. Yeah. Listen, where's the old Polygon guide on that? I have to unlock every temple of the Beat My Son challenge.

Well, Spencer, if people want to pay for your feed in other ways, is there another subscription product that they can get on board with? Listen, if you want to support everything that we do here. All of our feed. All of our feed, which we encourage you to do because, you know what, staying up till one in the morning or two in the morning, talking about the last Mac game that you kind of half watched, that would be the fullcast after dark a product that you can help support by going to patreon.com

slash shutdown fullcast this is our nil collective to support the work that we do here you hear this show it's free it's going to stay free you know why because we have so many loyal supporters who have contributed four dollars a month five dollars a month we have some people chipping in a hundred dollars a month because y'all are insane um you can do that you can upgrade to a paid membership, which we encourage because we do a little bonus episodes, right? Sometimes we do a mailbag. Sometimes we do a super long form look at something again. Encourage everyone to go listen to our hoggernomicon episode where we talk about the history of Arkansas, the most important football program in the world as we clearly documented in that episode. Again, $4 a month to support the work

that we do here. I am done shilling. Yeah. And it is, I've seen, I mean, obviously anything we do is going to have a lot of confusion attached to it but i've seen a bit of just to clear up it is more than just after dark you're going to get after dark recordings on there every week they will uh here's a little inside baseball that probably be up earlier than they used to be in previous years um on the patreon feed uh and we also will have other stuff on there as spencer mentioned the that long for me type stuff that college football history lore uh have a list of topics that i think it would be pretty fun for us to give that treatment too so there you know there will be a wide variety of stuff on there and as far as after dark goes some of a couple people have asked if like

if I'm going to do them this year I haven't done the first two and like I've been busy at work that has been the that has been the entire reason I haven't hopped on yet but I'm going to try to try to stop by as it can throughout the season I do I do have a job which isn't a thing I mention all the time but I write the college football newsletter for the athletics called until Saturday not only is it free it gives you free access to stuff that's on the website I'm allowed to say that because I it's true. Snake, I'm in.

I can hack you through a portal into theathletic.com. Wow. Yeah. Holy shit. Yeah. Uh, Phantom Island. Phantom Island. Show is where you go to sign up.

By the time this episode is up, you can listen to me and Roger Sherman talking about Ivy League football and why the Ivy League should be throwing bags, but they probably never will. Is there a discussion about Florida's history against Harvard. Yes, there is. Spoiler alert. Florida has never scored a single point against the Harvard Gremsen. Yeah, that's what we do there. Serber. Any killer ants business that we should attend to? Friday, September 19th, not a college football Saturday. You can come see Killer Ants play live in Winston-Salem at Hoots with the old one, too, and Telesthesia. Playing a bunch

of new stuff. We're recording a new album right now. We've got like very little of it done, but we're working on it. That'll be out when it's done. Podcast Reno. A lot of people have been saying, hey, Serber, when are you going to do something on the Vuelta? I will. I promise it's probably just going to be at the end of the Vuelta. I just haven't, I have not had the time

or energy to put out a one, two, three, fourth, or fifth podcast sixth podcast of the week for me. Lazy bitch. By putting out podcasterino. But I promise, I do promise, I thank everyone who listened to the first couple episodes that I put out. I promise I'll get something out about the Volta after it's done. I am still

going to deliver Gilmore Girls episode. Once again, school started back. My wife's school counselor. I'm teaching community college, and I got a job. Like Jason, I got a job. I'm busy. But if you haven't listened to that, you can go back and listen in the first couple episodes. They were pretty timely at the time. Probably won't make much since

now, but why should that stop you? Listen to Killer Rance on all the things. Buy our stuff on Bandcamp at KillerAst.Bankt.com. And listen to Hand of the Dirt and Phantom Island. place out a couple of voicemails we did up some voicemails on saturday that due to some technical issues we were unable to get to but you know we want you to know that you were heard even if what we hear frightens us disturbs us and ruins our sleep we still listen to it because we care even when we regard you as one regards a strange beast on the horizon at dawn casting its shadow overall that should be civilized

and safe. A lot of tough talk from a man with special feed. That's all I'll say. A lot of judgmental talk from a man who eats Jude Wipes. Listen. They're fiber.

I regard you as strange and curious. Do they have fiber? That feels like that. I think all they have is fiber. They're going to fly right back through you. We're just going to have to do this over again. Like, Life Spencer's the fucking log ride. Yeah.

Oh, you again. Yeah. Here we go again, buddy. All systems clear. Engage. Right through. Yeah, we have a couple that we want to get to server. Can we hear 813 from USF, Florida?

Tampa. Oh, my God. Tampa! That's it. That's the whole call. And it's a good length for a voicemail, I think. Yeah, sure. In 2025, this is what a voicemail should aspire to.

I think that's a perfect link. I think that is when you're like, hey, man, what's the perfect voicemail? That. As someone who hasn't listened to an actual voicemail in probably nine years, that this is, yeah, I'm feeling this. I like to imagine that prefaced with 911, what is your emergency? you know what that is an emergency sure was for Florida

tell you what tell you what buddy how'd you get down there buddy I got it do you why it's how most people get to Tampa at least what keeps them there can we go ahead and listen to

402 402 from El Asico Hey, Fulcast, this is a very sad Iowa fan living in Nebraska. Hope y'all are well, Holly, I hope you're edible, is treating you nicely right about now. My main thing from today is, yeah, it sucked, we lost, but, you know, we at least developed the concept of the Iowa slow mesh, which I'm hoping carries us forward into some degree of seven and five minutes this season. Thanks, guys. I do appreciate that. Kirk Farris is like, all right, time to update the offense.

What's the bullshit that everyone hates? What's the shit that people don't like watching it think is garbage? I'll take that. Slow mesh, I'm in. Give me a big serve. Yeah, hold on. Can it be very slow? I mean, very slow.

Excretion. Is it potentially dangerous? All right. Iceberg mesh on three. Great. coming week three the slow punt i mean if you saw like if you saw a punter just sit there and go full slow motion you would pull up from your rush wouldn't you yeah for a second you'd go and then the blue whistle yeah what's the flag they call time out they called time out right it's a lot like that

north texas fake pun against oklahoma a couple of years ago where the guy simply stood still return yeah yeah and did not signal fair catch but stood still like he already had yeah and everybody just says well i guess he's done yeah then watched like four or five oklahoma guys running 20 miles an hour like zip past him and then went oh cool bing she just took off for a t d um yeah loved that uh can we go ahead and listen to 630 mac Illinois, but I'm an LSU fan for whatever goddamn reason. It's half time. We look like crap

against Louisiana Tech. This classic playing down doesn't matter who the coach is, doesn't matter who the players are. But really what kills me is we could go on to score 63, 70 points in the second half. All that means is

we're 2 in that little use-based murder goblin that we have. Oh, hey, coach from Notre Dame is going to be happy. God, I hear it so much. I just can't be happy. Go damn tigers. To the best of y'all's recollection,

was this a thing Brian Kelly did at LSU? Did they have, like, frequent games? Or, like, Jesus, how are that? Like, that's not really what I remember being the case at Notre Dame, rather. I think the expectations are a bit different, but it was not something that was very common. Like I do think it is more LSC than Brian Kelly for whatever reason. One time they only scored three points though. That's true.

It gets Clemson. That's a really good point. That was the game. There was that time. Is that pretty recently, server? Nah. Yeah. This is a pattern from this past week, by the way, people,

winning and being surprisingly miserable for their effort. For instance, 814. Can we go to 814 with Brent? Hey, this is Brenton from Penn State, aka Tonka, aka Matt. Look, I know we blew them out, 34-0. please don't look at us it's killing Drew our

fuck that's the end of the mail that's the end of the message yeah this is the please do not perceive do not look at Drew I like the theory that yeah don't look at Drew Aller okay

I'll try not to watch a highly touted Penn State team and the guy who always touches the ball I will do my best ongoing pattern with Penn State here. Can we do the other 814 note that we have here? I know this sounds privileged after just watching 4 to lose. Sorry, gang. But seeing the Oregon score as a Penn State fan,

I'm a little bit worried. Just a little bit worried. Well, yeah. I mean, that makes sense. they're really good i i think we have a way of there is a prisoner of the moment thing happening here like great you can think of great teams like godfrey and i not that long ago talked about the oh one miami team they had close games like they had a close game against a virginia tick team that wasn't that like yes they fucking blew out a lot of teams as well i do think there is

something about being in that like let's say top 15 range of college football where our brains have tricked us into like if we are not winning by 40 by half time we suck what are we doing what are we doing yeah and like I understand where that comes from and I'm not even necessarily saying it's irrational but I I do think there are it's easy for us to sort to forget that like teams that we think are awesome. Georgia teams like Georgia teams that have won the national title or Bama team, like they have had games where they struggle with somebody who is inferior to them. And ultimately it's fine. Like it's not fun, but it is fine. And I think you have to sort of like, I wouldn't necessarily pair these two together. Like what Penn State does

does in week two has no bearing on like what Penn State will do in the beg 10 championship for a litany of reasons some of which have to do with Penn State and some of which don't but like cats cool you know it's fine I don't I don't know if it'll ever be fine for for Penn State I don't I just think I just think at this point you're on boil we just saw it be fine last off season I if this was Penn State that like hadn't won a big game and hadn't done this and the other but like that shit's already happened I know they didn't make the national championship I know they didn't win the national championship but they played well it's okay if you're looking for a state change it's most likely in the downward direction not the upward direction that's the thing that I think is particularly that's the curse you're lukewarm you can't get you can't get cold this is where you're at would you rather would you rather do the thing where you kind of sleepwalk through a couple of easy games and you're kind of like i don't know i don't know if we've got it this should have been better or would you rather get gassed up like organs played

outplayed to inferior opponents yeah is it better to be in that place or like holy shit we're the we're the fucking death star no one can stop us based on data that may not tell you that much about who you are on a different stage against a different opponent i think i'd rather be the former okay yeah okay I think I would because again I will this is not a thing you and I have to worry about for what no oh listen at this point we're burning it for the insurance money right like feet up on the chair yeah fuck it don't care just putting on every putting on like every good fuck it country song and being like yeah life's a bitch huh money's not real money's not real when you pay that man what he do

Nothing. Doesn't matter. Give them a check. Yeah. Let's play a couple of more here if we can get to, uh, you know what? For the victors, okay, we're going to do a two part here. Okay. First, Boyd, 515.

Hi, you can call me Boyd Witch. Everyone at the fucking tailgate outside of Trisot. this is going to be easy ear Iowa State walked Iowa's ass I'm a veteran this game never fucking changes

ever okay so it's true it's true like fired up accurate what sounds like in the car probably pulling away

from this going like I can't believe it another fucking slug fist that we won but God the struggle is forever now I'm going to give you this humans change and evolve over time. How much time? Nine minutes later, Boyd called back.

Hi, this is Boyd Witch. I forgot to mention that I'm an Iowa State fan, but I'd just like to point out that watching the two-minute drill attempt by Iowa was the funniest fucking thing I've ever seen in my entire life. Eat shit and stay in Iowa forever, Kirk. Thanks. Bye.

That's the way to look at it. That's the healthy. outlook every every difficult time you experience is also difficult for the like if you are an lSU fan who's like god should have won that game should have it shouldn't have been that close whatever the other side of that equation is a team of fans that is like oh we could have done it we could have had it we didn't it's much worse like i don't think anybody obviously usf fans are happy they beat Florida. But I don't think you necessarily walked away from that game being like, God, that's the best USFs ever played. Like, what a well-oiled machine. Like, you can be happy that you

won and be like, boy, there's a lot of sloppiness to do that. Yeah, a lot, a lot to do. Don't be on the losing side of the bullshit game. Don't. Just don't be on the winning side. It's great. Speaking of not on the winning side, uh, and to return to, hey, we thought Kentucky played pretty well. 770 from Tiny. Hey guys This tiny from Loganville It's half time

What the fuck is Kentucky doing This was the first voicemail I listened to By the way That was off the rip The answer is Their best They're doing their best That should be

You know how certain teams Have like A thing they will do To fire up the crowd On like third down Or at the end of a quarter Or something like that's Kentucky should steal that

just be like what the fuck is Kentucky doing get on your feet cats let's get ready to get freaky what's Kentucky doing what the fuck is going on here yeah yeah that's a good one to pair with that 859 Fred hey all this is Fred

I think we're the worst team in the SEC again and nature's found its way so all is good in the world ignore everything else it's just right that's a bit more sanguine a little a little sanguine a little more optimistic about your he just said they're the worst team in the SEC and you think that's more optimistic yeah that's accept how's this that's definitely accepting your position oh i see that's a serenity prayer approach to fandom uh what is not is the last one i would like to share with everybody, one that requires, I think, some participation from me in particular. 816.

Hey, Holly and the boys, just so you know, you can't really say anything to a Missouri Tiger fan right now. Prabula for Heisman, Prabula for Heisman, get used to it. Also, Spencer, you may have to acknowledge us in the SEC. Acknowledge me. I mean, it's not going to happen, but I might have to do it. Yeah. It still won't happen.

I'll deny that I ever said it, but yes, we'll have to acknowledge that you are, in fact, in conference. So, congratulations. Fantastic win over Kansas. And one day, one day I will admit that you were in the conference. Is it time to look very briefly at a schedule? Extremely briefly. Y'all do that. I got to go.

Bye. Yeah, yeah, yeah. He's got to go. Max got to catch a flight. Three minute looking at the schedule time. Yes, three minutes. Friday, Thursday, Friday, it don't matter. Clemson's going to Georgia Tech.

Clemson is struggling. Georgia Tech is good. That's the early slate in the middle spot. Georgia is going to. Georgia is actually playing a football team. George has joined the 2025 season. They're going to Tennessee. Oh.

That's a pretty big one. On the CW, folks, the biggest game in CW history has arrived. Against all odds, the CW has a not just ranked versus ranked a top 20 versus top 20 game two conference leaders even though that's not really a thing at this point in the season a battle for the state the two two best teams in the state yeah yeah take that florida state u sf versus miami on the c w the home of drama is that their slogan probably not but as the owner of a cw sports polo sent to me by the c w it's time to lock the fuck in i'm sorry how did we how did we get this game on

The CW is just stealing, like raccoon stealing things out of the cabinet. I mean, they placed a nice bet on this when it fell to them with the ACC's 37th pick of the week, like three months ago or whatever. They're like, ooh, that looks better than whoever Wake Forest is playing. We'll take that. And lo and behold, it paid off big. This is amazing. Florida LSU, that I'm, you want to talk about comedy. That's a good. A&M going to Notre Dame.

We talked about the two lore heaviest teams. Oh. Here comes a shitload of lore. A fog of mythos surrounds this game. Vandy, South Carolina. That one. That's always good, right? Yeah.

Yeah, it's always great. It's quality. And Vandy's, like, might be as good as it's been in, like, a century. So, yeah. It might be the sneaky pick of the day. You know, we got a, again, we've got a backyard brawl. coming we got the we got duke in two lane um which is you know coach do you have them ready this week coach we fucking limped to eight and four after our six and oh start um man my god

back to back losses to chris vanini and chris branch uh found myself getting wildly aggressive i went for i think every fourth down over the past few weeks i will tell you as somebody who has had to curb their useful impulses i went for it inside uh branch's red zone let's put it that way. And I got a bad call. Got a bad call. You know these Pack 12 refs. But, Coach, we're not making excuses. We're on to the most likely Alamo Bowl where I'm going to bring home glory to the Pac-12 via two lane. How about you, Coach? How's your program? Program's doing okay. I was proud to announce that after a tough start and after really feeling out, you know, what we've got on the roster after injuries and some turnover, we are bowl eligible. We are going to go ahead and attend a

bowl with our sixth win. We're hoping to extend that to seven and five. I got a match up against Matt Berry, uh, that we're going to have to, uh, we're going to have to, it's going to be a tough matchup, but we're going to go ahead, focus on the fundamentals, finish the drill, close it out. And then we're going to get on toward, uh, you know, building this program in the off season. Speaking of building this program, coach, do you have any recruit signed, committed? None. But you know what? We're going to really dominate the portal. You're going to pour it up. Yeah. Or maybe God will call me to another job. You never know. One of my specific recruits, his number two school is Memphis this whole time,

and I'm just like, I'll just invest the minimum points in this guy. I don't think Memphis's coach is calling this young man very often. You know, we're letting the Lord speak to him. If you swoop in and steal that, dude, I'll be impressed. Well, this is the first time here. Because he's holding out for a Memphis offer. This is the first I'm hearing of him. Spencer just realizing that the game has recruiting.

It's just like, God, it's so boring. It's like the most boring part of the game. You know, click on, it's like the sad. It's the part that I had absolutely hate, obviously. I could say, I looked at the recruiting standings and I was like, well, who's at the bottom? Whoa! It's me. Portal, portal power it is.

Of course, you have that incredible walk-ons program there at Memphis. We're about to. Who can walk on the team? I don't know. Doors open. y'all want to give this a run let's do it i mean really we're going to have to coach him up because uh just raiding the track team it's a freak exit brother we might be on intramurals

yeah uh i got some work to do evidently um i guess that or maybe god calls me to another job that's entirely possible as well shipping down river yeah that's we'll see about that won't we um yeah that's my that's how i'm doing if you got to know how memphis is doing i got one more game that i do want to mention which is that um or not mentioned florida's closed their program we're not we're not playing this week so never mind it's pretty sad