Shutdown Fullcast - Let’s Remember Some Portal Quarterbacks

Episode Date: June 21, 2023

SHOW NOTES The Meg cinematic universe is updated Florida’s got it all figured out, says Spencer Holly has a game for you, and Surber deploys some game theory Jason invents the book gun Celebrating LSU’s off-field performance in the College World Series Drafting a new college baseball power Visit sunny preownedairboats.com, won’t you please? Learn more about your ad choices. Visit podcastchoices.com/adchoices

Welcome to the shutdowns to the shutdown fullcast. You are listening live, you are listening live. on tape to the only internet college football podcast I am Spencer Hall I just did yes I was thinking about something else and then it just crept in there like a ghost yeah I am Spencer Hall

joined as always by Jason Kirk Holly Anderson and on the ones that two is Michael Serber Ryan Annie Ryan Annie is out as he is defending our former president in court today so he is busy and will be busy until the next, until he's fired, which is going to be a while.

Yeah. I don't know if it's going to be a while. It's a, it's in one way the least steady gig and in one way the most steady gig. There's just so much to work with, but how long can you hang? It's, hmm, you almost have to describe it in terms of like entropy and atrophy. You know, I, yeah, I think like there's an overlap between talk radio hosts and potential good a turn. for the former president because both of them involve talking into a hole with no response. Like you can't, you know, you can say whatever you want.

It's never going to matter because can you generate three hours of content per day? That's it. And can you occasionally stop talking and listen to the craziest people on earth from Queens talk back at you? That's it. You're literally a WFAN guy if you are Trump's lawyer, right? Yeah, let's go to Don from Queens. Hey, Don, what do you think of all that stuff I just said? I'm not hearing it.

I thought so. Did you guys watch the Brett Bayer clip? Why did you hire these people? He should have gone, like, great point, Brett. Like, the jig is up anyway. Yeah. None of it matters. It's just fun that he keeps doing this.

Thanks. He went right back to, that's how I know he's lost his edge. He didn't have anything funny to his head. say to that. Nothing. He was just like, man, I could have had such fun with this, and instead I'm just going to go back to the script.

It's losing his edge. I wanted to talk, I have a proposal, like an actual college football proposal, which I've mentioned before, but I still think it's true. I think everybody should be allowed to transfer for at least a year.

And you can come back, but I think you need a semester abroad. I think every player should just go play for another team, regardless of whether it makes a whole lot of sense or not, just as like a diversification of interests, right? Is this everyone has to transfer for a year? Everyone can, and I believe everyone should.

I'm not into dictating terms here, okay? But to me, and I think it's because we don't hear any of the bad examples, of transferring necessarily, it's not like Everett Golson gets a whole lot of, you know, publicity for going to Florida's date from Notre Dame and just kind of not making it, right? We get like Joe Burrow transferred and then he became a god, you know? Or we get, you know, Cam Newton transferred from Florida to Blinn and then he became a god.

So in my mind, I think everybody should just transfer whether it's particularly like necessary or not just to get you some perspective, just to get you some different input, just to give you a little perspective on life. That's what they tell you in college, right? You don't have to go study abroad, but they're like, You know, it's a great example. You should go, you know, it's a good thing to do. It's just good for your, your well-being. Go discover the unique culture of State College, Pennsylvania,

if all you have seen is Coral Cables, Miami. It'll make you appreciate both. Or maybe just, you know, hate Miami a little less since you go to State College and be like, yo, this is not South Florida. So the elder god in this scenario is J.T. Daniels, right? The elder, yes. Never thought of it like that, but yeah. It was originally Stephen Threat, who Stephen Threat deserves a lot of credit.

Threat Level Midnight, oh my God. You got to appreciate. So just to give you the background, in case you might have forgotten the travails and travels of one, Stephen Threat. Stephen Threat was the guy who he played for, this was, you know, pre-transfer. He played for, I believe, University of Michigan. He started there. No, he started at Georgia Tech. Wait, I forgot that.

Yes. I thought he started at Michigan. Yes, he committed to Georgia Tech. And then he had the lead, and then in the quarterback race in 2007. And then he transferred to Michigan, where he was again, pipped and had his role taken by Chad Henney. And then Stephen Threat transferred again to Arizona State. an astonishing three schools, three schools before he had to retire from football due to repeated concussions. So three schools at the time was an extraordinary achievement.

As Serber mentioned, J.T. Daniels, given the increased player mobility of our era, has exceeded that eclipse. And who knows, might end up somewhere else before this is all done. Because let's trace J.T. Daniels, that is USC. to Georgia, to West Virginia for one year, and now to Rice, where he is going to be playing the 20-23 season. The Wikipedia note on this is hilarious because it says, Rice, 2023 to present. That gives it an air of drama, like, he's at Rice for now.

Could be somewhere else. He's on the sampler pack plan. Yeah. His fourth program in his six-year career. And why not? That's awesome. I love it. You know, see, this is what I'm saying.

I think he's taking my advice to heart College is good, don't leave College is good Don't leave before you have to And you know, make sure that you get your money's worth Take a look around, man And like Even better, he's getting somebody else's money's worth

Yeah Plus what an education he's getting Lots of good schools like Georgia, West Virginia Yeah Rice is pretty good It's in Houston That think about Georgia and West Virginia

And I mean, you know Some schools you're just kind of there for fun, I guess. I will say, he just needs another compass point, and he's pretty much made a circuit of the United States, right? He's gone south, Pacific, southeast. He's gone Appalachia, right? He needs a Minnesota stint. Yeah, he needs like, maybe we can get him a North Dakota state stint,

maybe drop to FCS, see if he can make something to shake there. You know, I, I, I, I, can't argue that he hasn't done this completely correctly. The progression. Would you change anything about the progression? Would you maybe start elsewhere and end at USC perhaps? Like ideally, just not in terms of football aptitude, but in terms of experience? Well, brother, I think I might want to reverse this entirely. I think it probably looks a little more flattering if you started at Rice and you ended up at Georgia than USC. Well, sure. I just mean in terms of how much fun you're going to.

going to have. How much fun. So would you want to have all your fun at the start when you were 18 and mostly paying free? Actually, I think you're right. I think you're right. You're 18 in Los Angeles and then by the time you're an adult, you're like, I go to a private school.

Listen, I go to Rice. The taxes are low. That's probably what he's doing. And I will say, J.T. Daniels has done this, right? After having an aggressive series, multiple cycles, of recruiting and promises made to him. For instance, reportedly, J.T. Daniels wanted a house when he visited Oregon State.

Just said, I want a house. When he went to WVU, he got a name image and lightness package that was, you know, somewhere in that mid-six figures. This is somebody who has managed to go ahead and get several cups of tea out of a single tea well done that's also how you know he's been around the block a few times because a with the the resourcefulness and and b with the here is a guy who was super sick of having roommates at a young age he's learned he's wise wise beyond his years that he's like yeah and i'm like having other people in my fridge we also before j t daniels who of course had tape four going from Michigan to possibly Miami to possibly Hawaii to San Jose State. And I feel like I'm forgetting numerous. Pretty sure there's Michigan in there.

He started at Michigan. Did you say Michigan? Okay. And... Why don't all these guys run through Michigan? That's weird. Probably not worth examining. Reminds me that Ryan Mallet was at Michigan.

Yes, he was. Yes, he was. who all got a Scantron for Ryan Mallet. He was another pioneer Tate Forcier in that he not only had his own family website, right, QBForce.com for creating a family dynasty of QB clones that never really happened. In addition to that, he did play or was at least rumored to go play for no less than four schools, if not five, I believe. So this to me, by the way, is like something we should have.

have done more like holly you studied abroad correct technically yes studying is not the word i would use right right and i think in some transfer cases playing is also not the word to be used so i think these are comparable right i approached it much in the same way i approach undergrad with does this school on a remote mediterranean island that's going to give me class credit have uh walkable beaches uh yes yes it does okay i'm in i think you approach this exactly like i number of FBS scholarship athletes actually they'd be like

yo does Maltav have playing time we good what if you were in Knoxville but it was an island and you couldn't leave oh that's that's worse was the food better it's it's a little weird because there's a lot of British that creeps in

it's not all that doesn't sound good like there's a lot of Sicilian and a lot of like Tunisian and but there's a lot of colonialism that gets in there in bad ways like mushy peas finding their way into everything that's what you want when it's real hot is you just want an uneven an even paste of mushy peas everything um jason did you study abroad no no i um invested absolutely nothing whatsoever in my uh academic um potential the my the academic experiences available to

me so this was this was something i heard about like yeah characters on tv shows do that that it's it's not anything within anything i've ever considered uh establishing for myself as possible if you were to if you would go back to your younger self and be like hey you're given a ticket you can go do this where would you um so in this scenario there is no like you have to give a shit about school first it's just here's a ticket kid Let's see So 90s I don't know

I might have gone to Japan That would have worked I think that would have good Video games and shit Yeah also Bullet Club That's what are you gonna go Why did you study? I'm gonna go establish Bullet Club

Yeah Lots of owl imagery To carry back and forth Yeah that's true Fine owl traditions at both institutions Yeah you could also say You could be like listen and I'm part of a fried chicken exchange program.

I'm from Georgia, a fried chicken hotbed. We're doing a cultural exchange with Japan to examine your fried chicken together. The combination of the two will create the mega chicken, a.k.a. the big chicken that we have built, but only is a theoretical predecessor to the actual big chicken we will create. I will take the big chicken and turn into mega chicken. Yes. My study abroad proposed the mega chicken.

Listen, it'll be worth it, I promise. The research boons will be worth it. There's some guy reading this in Japan of the pitch going like Tanahashi. This man is a brilliant idea. We've got to get this guy over here. Why? Mecha chicken. Mechicken.

Jesus Christ. I'll be hired by Kojima within weeks. No, he is legend. That's it. They'll be like, listen, we can't fall behind Korea in fried chicken technology. And they are making leaps, gentlemen. We need to get this man over here and create the mecha chicken. I think also, I think, did you play enough Diablo that you could claim that you studied abroad?

Studied abroad in hell, yes. That would be a pretty fair description of a lot of things, yeah. It counts. Yeah, I made all sorts of inroads to hell, so yeah, I'll claim it. Yeah, where'd you go? I studied at the University of Sanctuary. That's where I was at. was anybody else confused upon maybe maybe not because you guys you guys keep up with this particular

genre of entertainment better than me but was i the only one surprised to look around and say wait this is only diablo four it's been around a while and it feels like it should be diablo 27 yeah they uh they're pretty good at um the third one at least they really milked it for all the money it was worth and the third one took a long time to come out so like two just sort of lived for a long people still play too but yeah it has been around a very long time to only be on four i enjoy this microgenre of youtube video that my sons watch where they go we've found this game from 2000 it no longer runs on my computer so i had to jerry rig this 27 year old gaming rig i had to like bring it back from the dead to play this and even then it has diminished frame rate

and half the voices are turak like yeah they play enough of this shit to where I'm like you're gonna unlock a hell mouth in one of these games I don't know how you're gonna do it but you're going to like it's a bad idea but we started this up on an old Apple 2E anyway yeah they're like we've

assembled enough ancient technology to finally somehow get this primordial video game working and it's like awesome I played that in ninth grade yeah I'm gonna do a whole video about this indie game that somebody created on a tandy. That really was a genre-defining game

that unfortunately I have opened a portal straight to hell while playing. Yeah, by the way, I didn't study abroad. I worked abroad, and that's a totally different experience because I took my study abroad money, the stipend that I got as a condition of my scholarship from the University of Florida,

and I spent it on booze, which it turns out you could buy a lot of booze for $3,500 in the 1990s. So I blew it entirely on booze So I had to go work abroad To get that experience Which is a very different experience Because if you talk to anybody

Who studied abroad It's like Oh, it was great I was in Florence And it was amazing And you know We drank at the same bar every day And it was delightful

This is where we learned to mix champagne Vodka and Red Bull Right Right They'll do things We went to Prague Everybody went to Prague You know

And it was beautiful Whereas mine was like Yeah I got up every single day and got to yell at Taiwanese students for nine hours a day before I came home and drank a bottle of beer laced with formaldehyde. And then I took a shower and went to sleep. And then I got to do that again.

It's like the opposite of study abroad clamor. So I would go back and actually not spend that on booze and then go to one of those, you know, like, Jason, yours is noble because you're like, I'm going to go someplace very different, right? I like people who go to study abroad in, like, London. Right. What did you do? Difficulty level zero.

I went to Australia. I went to Toronto. Yeah. Like even Mexico would be a challenge because you're like, well, I might kind of have to learn part of a new language. Something I don't speak naturally. Nope. Some of y'all were just like, yeah, I went to Edinburgh.

It was crazy. They fry everything. Or like, if you go somewhere with the same weather, like even the same weather, you're from New York or go to London, like come on what a waste of a plane ticket yeah or people who would go to Paris you know you're like okay you went to a city

that is like time tested and approved you went to a place where people have been living successfully and in great comfort for thousands of years what's wrong with that nothing's wrong with it it's not what I did the point is not to be cunning right right no I'm saying and if I went to do that that's exactly what I would do

like where did you go to study abroad I'd be like I went to the nicest city in the world Copenhagen Like, everyone's like, Copenhagen's like the most livable, nice city in the world. Like, that's what I would do. If I had to do it again,

I would do someplace where I didn't have to take a trans-oceanic flight to visit any other country. Yeah. I don't want to go. Somewhere a little more centrally located. Yeah. I would definitely not do semester at sea, even though that would benefit my football program. Go Gators,

large booster of the program is the founder of Semester at Sea, a full-sale university, the Heifner's. but I would not do that either. So literally full sale university? Yes, literally full sailing.

Yeah, yes. Those are the people who do that. I would not do that. I didn't know those were the same people. Same people, yeah. Oh. And they have graciously funded a good chunk of our mediocre

football program for many, many, many, many years. I would not do that either. Yeah, that guy's football's bad. Because I would not want to go out in tent Poseidon. We've discussed this previously. Ryan's not here. I can't believe Ryan's not here and I get to disclose this. For the second year in a row, Spencer Hall has looked up during an unrelated conversation and said, guys, I think Billy Napier's on to something here. I did it. I did it this week. He did it. Was it the recent recruiting successes?

Yes. But he's using Bud Elliott as a shield basically. Listen, if Bud thinks something's happening. Which I respect Than I think it's happening You've used dumber things as shields Notice I did not say it on this program But I guess I have now

Yeah Oh did you think you were gonna get away without that Because you did this last year You're like I don't know I'm really impressed What's how dangerous Let's see where this class is ranked I'm gonna swallow this hook

I know and eventually listen I think Napier's a fine coach I think eventually you'll be right It's just funny to watch it happen again Serber's like fuck no No fuck that guy This is the number three recruiting class in the country, so I don't see the problem here. We've got to willingly swallow this hook all the way down.

Why not? Entirely reasonable. I mean, as long as you don't have the thing happen where, like, it turns out you don't have any money to pay them, so they all go to Arizona State, as long as that doesn't happen again. To be clear, the vein of humor I'm trying to mind here is Spencer has positive emotions about Florida football. Let's get him. Yeah, I think we're going to end up, by the way, in the most entertaining scenario for, say, Jason's purposes, which is we're going to end up with all three Florida schools with some sort of fatal flaw. Billy's going to be able to finally go get the talent, but it'll either be too late and we'll fire him because we're not patient, or he won't be able to develop it, and he'll just be that guy who's like 10 wins, but never 11. He'll be that guy, and we'll go look for a shark who'll get us a championship or something in five years.

And then we'll just go through this whole boom bus process over again because that guy will completely fuck us. Yeah, DJ Durkin should be ready for another head gig by that point. Oh, God, damn it. What? You're speaking poison to reality. That's what we do on this program. And you're doing it again because that could totally happen.

I think you're fine. I see a top three recruiting class, and I see Florida State's likely to have a good season. I think the odd person out here is probably Miami. I think it's Miami's turn to be the odd person out. Well, Florida State's going to have this school that, like, continually probably doesn't recruit like they want to, but I think they have the better in-game coach. Like, to me, that's the guy who, like, when you face him, Mike Norville is just a handful at every single, like, point on the field. He's going to make sure you're utterly miserable.

And then there's the opposite of, yeah, he is. And then there's the opposite of that Mario Cristobal who is going to have nothing but the best recruiting imaginable. But then the bottom of it's going to fall out because his chief booster, it turns out, has some sketchy finance. And on top of that, he has the in-game coaching skills of, like, mad and uneasy. Yeah. Man, these schools are so stable. These three are just so confident about the future direction, trajectory of each. I mean, I'm a simple person.

I look at the recruiting rankings, and I think, yep, that one's in the best shape. Next question. Next. And then they hit the field, and that is not the case at all. ever they'll be fine they'll be fine I just I'm really looking forward to more of the Mario's what's your early

what's your early schedule oh well we open at Utah thanks for thanks for bringing that up Florida's schedule is fucking sucks this year it does also we have Graham Mertz Graham Mertz is going to be our starting quarterback so I really I really hope that the

offensive lineman shit really really Graham Mertz is going to be our starting funny you should mention that no one else like not even like a no one else is pushing on that. Say it with me. Are you ready?

We're building for 2024. You don't get a draft pick for going six and six. We're building for 2024. The other day at Strength of Schedule. This year, whole mess, of course. I mean, it's kind of impossible to avoid.

They get Georgia from the east. Say no more. They also have to go to Tulane. You're fucking idiots. Dumbass idiots. Five years ago. That should be easy. I'd like go to that one.

Next up is Minnesota, which draws Ohio State and Michigan from the east. Plus, they're going to UNC, which will be an absolute chaos fest, as always. Florida, of course. Not only LSU from the West, you choose to continue playing FSU for no clear reason. And you draw Arkansas. Spencer will certainly have split loyalties on that day. And you're going to Utah. it's just terrible why why did you do all that oh we're not scared james i can't even say that

we're stupid we're stupid jason we're stupid is this your first trip west since the year whatever whatever might be ever i'm just gonna say this is the first time florida's ever across the mississippi do they have object permanence with things in the rockies you know where we should go is go place the fucking pit ball jaw pit bull jaw uts that'll be fun that's the team we should go visit let's go let's go play murder the football team let's go play some people who are mad

who are mad at everyone literally mad at everyone all the time was this a folly schedule who did this this would be I believe I think it's a Strickland schedule at this point the eighth hardest schedule

I'm looking at FPI you can look at a million different metrics that'll and the key is to just look at whichever one says your team is the bravest. Tennessee Foxx in number eight. Jason, in terms of off-season education, where can our readers find this fine website? This one's ESPN.com. All right.

I'll have to check that one out. Take a look at it, Spencer. Sorry, I hear it's a great company. That's what I give for trying to educate. I said FPI. Never learned. So Tennessee, in addition to the East, plus at Bama,

playing A&M, that's nice. But you got to play UTSA. No, thank you. You set that whole thing up just to say that sentence. It's fine, but man, them roadrunners. It's summer. Major League Baseball is in full swing and there's one app for you if you want last minute deals on Major League Baseball games.

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Let's go back to talking about transfer quarterbacks, which is funnier. I have a game in the absence of Ryan. I have a Ryan-esque game to foist upon you all. We've played this with coaches before, and it's time to play it with gunslingers. This is full cast Would You Rather Transfer Quarterbacks Edition. I'm going to give you the statistics of a quarterback, and you're going to tell me who you'd rather have. This is kind of funny because they are comically close together for the most part. Um, but, uh, choose your, choose your destiny and we'll, we'll see where you end up.

We have, uh, I have one, two, three, four rounds and a bonus round. And the three of you can work together. All right. You ready? Let the games begin. All right. I love games. Would you rather? Quarterback A. 159.4 QB rating in 2022. to go with 38 touchdowns to 12 interceptions? Or would you rather quarterback B, 157 QB rating in 2021, injured in 2022, but 35 touchdowns to just five interceptions? I am for A, seeing as he hasn't been all that hurt this recently. I shouldn't assume he, I'm sorry.

I despise interceptions. go ahead and which should be fun since grand mertz is going to be my starting quarterback uh let's go ahead and mertz mertz see now i want to go back and talk about it because for a while i need to interrupt for like a year there we had this thing where where every time grand merts would throw six touchdowns or seven interceptions he would throw six touchdowns or vice versa and then that just completely fell off last year and i'm wondering if florida's chaos magic will return him to form We're Wisconsin kind of running out of, you know, skilled players and running a scheme that was, you know...

I don't know, like two years ago, it seemed like for every four interception game, he'd have a five touchdown game, and now... I don't know. Gramerts had some debut against a Mac team or something where he threw, like, a zillion touchdowns, and he heard, like, every Wisconsin fan going, baby!

It's an eight-three quarterback! And, uh, yeah. All right, I'm going to go back to it. Anyway, sorry, quarterback A, quarterback B, server, what do you think? How much are you guys willing to pay me to pick your choice? I'm not. Serber, you are outvoted.

Ah. Quarterback A, Spencer and Jason are taking Sam Hartman from Wake Forest to Notre Dame. Quarterback B, Serber, you are taking Devin Leary from NC State to Kentucky. Fuck. I don't know. I don't hate that. I don't hate it either. I know I'm a relentless Kentucky home. but I don't hate that.

I feel better about Hartman, but it's quite possible Kentucky has upgraded a quarterback over the past calendar year. Round two. Look at that. Round two arrived just in time. Quarterback A, would you rather, have 2,500 passing yards

in 2021, a 15 to 6 TD-I-N-T ratio, a 14-1-4-1-4-1. point nine rating and a 12 and 2 mark as a starter or would you rather have 3,500 passing yards in 2022, a 33 to 10 TD-I-N-T ratio, a 151.9 rating and a 7 and 6 record as a starter. Hmm. I'm going to go with the winner. Well, I want to take A. Oh, this one's mean. I'm definitely going B here. It doesn't sound like A had to do a whole lot.

Serbs? B. A. Spencer is taking Cade McNamara from Michigan to Iowa. And Spencer and Jason and Serber, you have Tanner Mordecai as in New to Wisconsin. I love it. I love it. Oh man, we're going to put those fucking numbers. Talk about two different, completely opposite situations within the same division, right? Is something changing in Wisconsin that we forgot about? Well, like, it's like, Cade, your job is to do fucking anything.

Right? Whereas Tanner, it's like, you know that bang, bang shit you like to do? Hey, we're doing it now here. Believe it or not. They're going to watch Kay McNamara's head point downfield is the first read. And Brian Farritt's going to be like, no! Look closer. No!

Don't look that far. Punt the ball! That's dangerous. Don't go alone. Basic basketball You got to remember Iowa employed an offensive coordinator at one point

who taught Chris Sims at Texas and when he went back to his dad he said yeah so my first reads the running back your first read in the flat yeah that was their first read that's the shortest past

I'm sorry but I think you run the triple fucking option that's triple which one did Phil fight a reporter over? Because I'm pretty sure it was this one. It was Chris. Yeah. Not even Matt. Can Matt get some man? I believe that was, and I believe that was

it, was it Desmond Howard? I think it was Phil Sims also fought Desmond Howard over this stuff, yeah. Oh yeah. Which is, by the way, that's the last man. I'm going to try to fight over anything. Yikes! Yeah, no. Also not only is Desmond Howard

one-on-one, a challenge I don't want in any capacity, too. In Ann Arbor, he's got shooters, very literate shooters. Like people who they will absolutely beat my ass at Zingermans. People who shoot because they've read novels about Russian spies. Yes.

I use an elegant handgun, well polished and maintained. It's a book gun. It's a It shoots books. No, I mean, it's in like a hardback like John LaCarray novel that's been like cut out in the middle. I'm going for a gun that shoots books.

Fair enough. Bunk, bong, bong, bong, bong, bong. Drop a knowledge on you. It's a knowledge laser. All right, round three, quarterback A, 70% completion rate, 3,700 yards passing, 40 to 6 TD-I-N-T ratio, 160.4 QB rating. Wow, what's the catch here? No, you're going to find out. QB, 65% completion ratio, 4,400 yards passing, 31 to 10 TDI-10 TD.

ratio 156.4 QB rating asterisk this is the 2021 season so do I fake myself out from the obvious choice is that what I do here I'm not going to do it I'm going to take a all right yeah I'm I'm sticking with the same logic that if nothing happened last year I'm a I'm a little I'm a little skeptical I'm going to go with the big numbers of a big numbers what if I told you a quarterback a has Sanders on the back of his jersey ah I pick B and is going from Jackson State to Colorado Walked right into that one Yeah

So did he just walk out of one He's going to get a lot of playing time Yeah a lot of reps Yeah He's almost guaranteed not to quit Yeah Yeah so there's something I need to remind everyone about Shadur Sanders And about his game

Go look up his rushing numbers Go look it up He's not really going to have an offensive line this year Ah, but that's Deon Sanders kid, you say. Surely he's going to be able to run his way out of most situations, given that he is an outstanding athlete. I'm not arguing that he is not an outstanding athlete. I'm just saying his style of play as a quarterback to this point has not been to rely on his legs. I don't know a, I don't know a great deal of quarterbacks who can block for themselves.

How about that? Yeah. Josh Allen. Ryan Mallet back with his tumbling sequoia. move back in the day when he would just fall over like a large tree. Cam Newton often had to. Michael Vick. Okay, Michael Vick was

teleporting. That's not the same thing. He marked created a temporal disturbance and then like night crawler. It's like a doctor strange thing. Yeah, yeah. Yeah. He had a number batch. That was some of circus shit. Anyway, quarterback B for server is Brennan Armstrong

going from UVA to NC State. I'm sticking with this. I'm sticking with Sanders. Anything that says UVA to NC State is too boring for me to think about. Sorry. It's like, because like, I guess that's that, that's got to be, if that's Brandon Armstrong's 2021 season when he was actually really good, I don't know what happened, but like, he went from looking really awesome in 2021 to just being lost last year, utterly lost. And I'm sure that has a lot to do with, as we previously discussed, quarterbacks not being able to block for themselves but it wasn't just that couldn't just be just that yeah he was in a funk so you

see everybody should transfer once this just go ahead brennan file the papers get yourself some cookout he wasn't a funk and now he's in the duke's mayo bowl go to go and also by the way can i just say fucking honor yeah cultural diversity here like brenden armstrong's really branching out he's going from charlottesville the public ivy the place where they you know they're like Oh, Mr. Jefferson's University. And he's going to Raleigh, bitch. He's going to NC State, dog. I take it back.

NC State was in the Duke's Mail Bowl last year, so that's enough for them. They let down the ACC in that bowl last year. Nuh, because Maryland won. Oh, that's right. The ACC's still in anyway. Go ACC. Yeah, go ACC Maryland. What does Maryland have to do with it?

Have to do with it. Anyway, round four. Quarterback A, 2,500 yards passing, 22 touchdowns, only 7 picks, 6.8 yards per average passing, and 545 yards rushing with 7 touchdowns. That sounds like DJ. Quarterback B, 2,600 yards, 17 touchdowns, 9 interceptions, and 391 yards rushing with 8 touchdowns. That sounds like DJ. The choice is our DJ and DJ.

Well, I'm going to tell you this. I'm going to flip a coin here real quick. Your choices. Was there yards per throw for both of them? Shit. No, because I did this. I did this very poorly. That's all right.

The statistics you choose to reveal her, I just didn't know if I missed it. I'm going to go ahead and take B because the first one, Cerber said, sounded like DJ Uyongolele. Sorry, that's a seven. point two average for quarterback B as opposed to a 6.8 average for quarterback A. I'm going to go ahead and take B because I know that he said both of them reminded him of DJ, but the first one was A, so I'm going to go ahead and go with my fear and take and steer away from DJ to Yungaleli and go B.

Wait, what did you pick? I'm choosing B because he said that first. Okay, no, no, no, stop, stop, stop. Yes. You're choosing B. Okay, end the sentence. Okay, Serber. A, just in case.

Interesting. Just in case of what? Just in case it's B. Serber, that's genius. Can't argue with that. Serber, we're both very smart. I like how given the recent events of Clemson football, this has made Cerber, like, skittish for something

that's not going to happen in the real world. we can come back we might only go 10 and 2 yeah oh no we're only going to finish ranked 9th you guys don't understand what it's like to go 9 and 3 everyone's like

yeah it'd be fucking awesome yeah I don't understand be hot I'm gonna go with B yards per attempt very very key stat all right B turns out to be

also wearing Sanders on the back of jersey also wearing s sanders on the back of his jersey but we have spencer sanders going from oklahoma state to old miss this is going to be a problem y'all uh and a is dj comes in to or i'm happy with uh almost all of these some of my choices new year new me you know he he really gives it all for the program It's like that scene in righteous gemstones. You provide for the boys. You know, I mean, I believe the talk coming out that the offense will be more of a fit for him.

So you'll get to enjoy the quarterback that you were supposed to have had. I mean, DJ, you provide for the boys. I will say this, he's going to an incredibly good football team. Oregon State is an amazing program and he's actually going to receive offensive coaching. A lot of interesting things happening. dynamic coach who's doing crazy shit for where he's at. I don't even want

to hedge that. Who's doing crazy rebuilding shit even not by Corvallis standards. I will put it this way. If they run play action, DJ will look up and see an open man, right? Who's supposed to be open? Oh, no!

Are you saying this is a bad thing? So many other places for the ball to go. options they run the option every play man it'd be really cool if he caught it over there let's see four things can happen when you throw the football and the other one is my dad oh god I love that you still ended up with him I'm sorry to Oregon State fans I swear I didn't plan it like that to Oregon State fans ahead of this season I would just

say um i'm sorry for what's i'm sorry things will be better if he goes if he goes there and he listen he's going to go there and he'll be fine yeah he'll be i truly believe this you know how many years we were disgusted by bow nix fine and then bow went to organ and what happened and great as football player ever first round pick now like like if if i make a dumb ass bet on a heisman finalist this year it'll be bow fucking nix so things turn around when you move to the pack 12 he's really far away there's that almost as far away as he could be this is all quarterbacks need to do what addendum to my rule that all players should transfer all quarterback should transfer to the pack 12 yeah all quarterbacks

should transfer to the pack 12 you know why you're gonna have a great time you're gonna have an amazing you'll create a tipping point too where the the left of the country will will stabilize That's correct. So heavy that all the other players roll there as well. Thank you. You see the vision. Just don't transfer to UCLA because then you'll be in the fucking big 10. Nobody wants that.

See, that literally happened in the SEC. We've got so many large men that it just chipped the point, tip of gravity until like, the tectonic plates are just kind of creaking down. I wonder how many USC coaches tried that argument. Like, I know, I know, bam, I got this five star from down the. street but you see the way space time works is when a large object the gravity of it let me let me draw you at this like web with a heavy object plops down yeah have you ever seen a diagram of a black hole coach that's what happened terence cody changed the gravitational pull

of the SEC forever single-handed really did like a bowling ball on a sheet of rubber that's what he did just distorting space time sinking down surprise but if you're a quarterback Bo Nex, look at that. In quarterback negative Auburn, a place that has never wanted your quarterback to be good, okay, a place that is bad for quarterback self-esteem because they're like, just hand the ball off, all right? You're only one player on this team.

I applied the wrong modifier for a second. What team, we've established what secular Auburn is? What team is negative Auburn? So you need to be like opposite, right? You need to be a team that has a good shit happens to you for no reason. Oh, okay. Okay. Well, Auburn has good and bad shit. Yeah, yeah. Auburn is, like when good things happen to Auburn,

the chaos is exciting and fun. How about that? Auburn chaos is incredible. It's the best chaos. No, fun for, fun for Auburn's own people. It's okay. Auburn chaos is often fun for everyone. I feel like negative Auburn is the one without any chaos, right? Okay. Dependable. Alabama. Stanford. Stanford. Current Alabama.

Stanford? Yeah. What is the last Stanford thing that's happening? happened. We could also extend that to value of degree as well if you just want to go ahead and continue that. Oh, the range from Stanford to Auburn? Oh yeah, range of Stanford to Auburn. That's good. We should do that. We should plot every team. When you network at Stanford, it's like, when you network at Stanford, it's like, hello, this is John Robot Bucks and his robot bride and they're worth $400 billion. And then if you network at Auburn, it's like, the yellow fellas here.

You can go sell arsenic-treated pressure wood, if you want. I have one more bonus question to balm the anxieties maybe, just a little tiny bit. This is a Jeopardy question. I'm going to give you three numbers, and you're going to tell me what they are. 247, 257, and 201. Why are these numbers significant? Let's see. They're all under 250.

Very, almost, yeah. Close. Which one did I miss? 257. Fuck. That is a shape. Oh, that is more. Damn it.

I should have studied abroad. I am, I am going to guess if we're talking quarterbacks and talking about transfers, 257. These yardage numbers? No, but you're close. Career touchdowns? Attempts. That would be an incredible career touch. Oh my God.

If you had 200. Wait. Yeah, no, that doesn't work either. 257 is more than 250. You're right, Jason. that would be like playing five seasons as prime peak joe burrow every year yeah okay these numbers are the quarterback ratings for 24-7 for michael pennix junior stetson bennett and joe burrow normal normal so that's that's the group of three you would you

would expect just just a little just a little just to drop a little suh somme at the end of Hey, man, you never, ever, ever know. And that is why we play the games. We, we play the games, us. Yeah, like, take, for instance, DJ O'Uang Glele, who was a Can't Miss five-star prospect, and who's panned out accordingly. Who might this season?

He's going to go, listen. I said this was supposed to be bomb. He's going to go out there and have, like, a 3,500-yard 30-TD season, because all the West Coast does is rejuven quarterback careers. Michael Pennix, Jr., just, you know, know two years ago was at Indiana getting his head caved in on every single play having to reach extend to the far edge of the post of the goal just to get one measly touchdown for his Indiana Hoosiers and last year that man was just farting quarter like touchdowns like he was

just go on yeah that man was just shedding touchdowns easily bo necks the bo necks example that's still disturbing that makes it sound like he's molting listen that man was just Spitting them up. Cawcett. None of these are better. Again, according to FPI, Oregon State has the fifth easiest schedule in all the power five. Easy numbers. Come on.

Come on. Come on. One of their road trips is Colorado. Come on. Having said this, they're going to lose the San Jose State and UC Davis to start the year. Both fine programs, damn it. Both possible. The Wazoo.

Hey, somebody's got to take over the Wazoo mantle. Because Wazoo, where did Wazoo go? What are they doing? I mean, they might also lose to an FCS opponent to start this season. I was going to say, don't take this away from them. Stealing Valor. You're right, I apologize. They're going to be Wazoo fans who call us 12 shots deep on a Saturday night.

That's our state. Hey, we lost to an FCS team today. Let's see. Which FCS team do they play? Northern Colorado. I just assume that was Sacramento State. I think they'll be fine this year. Northern Colorado, they'll be fine.

Oh, I don't know. Oh man, that's short for Unk. Yeah, Jason's just ensured that they're going to lose. That'll be fine. Uncle. I said, I think they'll be fine. But yeah, this is, again, what every quarterback should do. Go out to the West Coast, thrive, throw for like 4,000 yards,

and then con some NFL GM out of a draft pick and way too much cash. That's what you need to do. It doesn't feel like it's hard. I mean, Boenix is doing it. and good for him good for him exactly I support him 100% in this but given what I saw out of

Bo necks in terms of quarterback development at Auburn you notice like Auburn's most developed quarterback ever by the way as a guy who's only stayed there one year that's it

like who's the peak of our quarterback performance a guy who had absolutely no training in the program walked in obliterated everyone on natural talent and the ability to run

the wing T has efficiently as possible, and then Vamos. That was like, I'm out. Who's the next best? Sorry. Like, Jason Campbell is the next guy. If you're like, great

pro-prosepects as an Auburn quarterback. You're like, Jason Campbell? I think the worst FCS scheduling idea this year is Stanford, which is hosting Sacramento State. Oh, no. SAC State's good.

Just for those who don't know, they're good. There's a lot of Stantford going on in this. I like the little lip curl with that. A lot of Stamford. Oh, actually, wait. Auburn's hosting Samford. Samford's good, so get some fun stuff there. Looking forward to that one.

Auburn, we've got to talk about these bulldogs that you keep scheduling. God's plan. If it's a Sanford, it's God's plan. It's going to be everything this year for. Auburn. That is the thing, like when, you know, a Sunday school kid has a question that can't be answered, God works in mysterious ways, just like, just like Auburn. That's what, is that what they told you in Sunday school?

Would they, like, God works in mysterious ways? Was that the default? Yes. Every time? Oh, yeah. Like, yeah. Why do we send missionaries to countries of sending them there, you know, informs them of this thing that they can then deny at which point they're eligible for hell wouldn't it be

better just leave them there to where they have no chance to accept it or reject it you know ah here god works in mysterious ways kid not for you to question bethany go outside that's why i bought the plane tickets he did that have some other pops um i had a question as well the um so the college world series is going on as as uh as per usual around the time in the great city of Omaha. Both of your alma maters attended. Tennessee's still in it as of this recording. I forget it 40 or not. Depending on tomorrow. Check back tomorrow. We have to play with us you again tonight. By the time you hear this, Tennessee might be out. Or they might not be. Do you believe in unliklihoods? They might then need to beat the Wake Forest juggernaut twice

in a row. This is the sport where Wake Forest is really fucking awesome. So, a special thing happened off the field in Omaha, the annual jello shot contest broken down by alma mater, which last year Ole Miss set the record with 18,000 jello shots over the course of the two-week event. This year, LSU

rolled up. And before their second game even kicked off, tipped off, they had already beaten the record by 3,000, thanks to raising Keynes founder, rolling up 6,000 goddamn jellos.

Can we just rephrase this to make it sound even funnier? Thanks to chicken tender, baron. Thanks to chicken magnet. Chicken magnet. There we go. Thanks to the guy who founded Zaxby's but blander. They have... Saltless, low sodium Zaxby's, Baron.

Diet Zaxpies. Where people say shit like, you got to go, the sauce is good. That should tell you some things. Anyway, LSU, as far as chicken change, go not good consumers but as far as jello shots holy fucking shit they're going to double up old miss at drinking um at a baseball game at a fucking baseball game um so like in light of this a few people have been discussing like what would be the ultimate competitive top eight schools to put in here and like you know obviously with the caveat that like alcoholism is not anything

that anyone should feel pressured into if people don't listen to the show if you know you're like No one is saying Drinking is inherently good La blah blah We get all that shit So like Arizona State Obviously you're making the cut You're not going to be favored

to beat LSU but nobody will be You know I think there's a couple other obvious Contender candidates I think anyone who is currently being stomped by multiple religious private schools Florida Tennessee Stanford

You're probably not invited to attend I have an excuse I have an excuse for Tennessee This ought to be good It is um a i would argue that we're packing it in okay like our answers but b we had it we had an early game and if tennessee is tipping off at three o'clock then you know that tennessee fans have been standing perfectly motionless with their arms crossed glaring and tapping their foot in

total silence since like noon yeah i haven't excuse to this is just this is just not this is not our way yeah well like i agree that we are getting our asses kicked but i don't think it's a lack of want to. I think it's a lack of, I think this is a nature and not nurture failure on our part. I think you're losing the Oral Roberts. Shit. I think the Oral Roberts thing is a joke. So the Oral Roberts thing, I'm sure there are people who are doing it for the LOLs. Like, did you actually go there? No, I think it's hilarious to say I'm drinking for O'Roberts.

I also think, personal experience, that people raise in certain. There are slippery rock. People raise in certain environments, when it's go time, they will go far. Far, far harder. Yes. Yes, there is a bit of that going on in Orl Roberts's total. Okay. I think the final boss of this competition is a school that hasn't played baseball for decades. As I'm saying this, everyone already knows where I'm going.

Wisconsin, start a baseball program. We need you in Omaha. It's really weird, like, aesthetically that Wisconsin doesn't have a baseball team. Like, can't you just picture them? I can picture them. Yeah, they're very... You're red and white and burly. I just realize I'm picturing the Reds.

Yeah. They are very NL Central. Yeah. Strange. And they don't score a lot. But that's going to change. It's not natural, Wisconsin. Get a baseball team and some brandy.

Just play a few games. Just play a home-and-home series with LSU every year. That's it. Have a brandy league instead of a beer league. I was going to say, why don't you just do what everyone else from Wisconsin does in March, which is go to Tampa. That's it.

Allow them to play home games in Tampa. The Tampa Badgers. Tampa Badgers. Right down here. Open a campus. UW Tampa. Put a D3 football team down there and everything. No one from Wisconsin is listening to this and going, yeah, that's a bad idea.

No one. I want a UW Tampa hoodie that I can wear with shorts. Ryan, if you're listening to this, please get this up on pre-owned airboats.com as soon as possible. Folks, by the time you listen to this, maybe we'll have something up on pre-owned Airboats.com, our freshly reopened merchandise emporium. Yeah, we can have a Stan Glouchurst, first base journey. Tennessee has a pitcher who is from Minnesota, and every time I look at him, I'm just like, it's just the most, like, they must come stamped in a mold or something.

His name is like, I'm going to add syllable. for dramatic emphasis, but his name is like Stanvenhorsen Statt. It only has like three syllables. He's not that of normal. Jim Whiskey Coogle playing second. And everybody else on Tennessee's team looks like somebody, a friend of my dad's who I called Uncle as a child.

I'm going to look up and see if this particular school has a... Because I'm looking for places that have money to spend and also have a baseball team. Yeah, I got one. if we have LSU on here as a bullet I'm going to go ahead and have there you know how certain major car companies have the luxury brand that represent

LSU is the big LSU is the big company right but the upper badge here is Tulane I'm going to take Tulane because one the drinking's verified two they got money and three they got a baseball

team they got money had taken per capita like like it might not be as big overall, but, uh, but they got magnets. Tipsy, Tipsy Vandy. That's what they are. In terms of conditioning, that's year-round heat and humidity in an urban environment with not, uh, not necessarily a whole lot of shade to get out of. You know, that's a, that, that campus is right smack in the middle of New Orleans. I like, I like their conditioning. What if we say all the D1, Louisiana schools, Arizona State, Wisconsin, and given oral Roberts performance, let's double down Bob Jones University.

Let's go all the way. I don't drink, but if I'm going to do, it's going to be with the strength of angels. If I'm going to sin, I'm going to send my ass off. Martin Luther said so. I shall be a shot glass seraphim.