Shutdown Fullcast - NFL Draft Prep Prep with Mike Golic Jr.

Episode Date: April 12, 2023

Mike Golic Jr. of GoJo joins Spencer, Jason, and Ryan to review important NFL Draft storylines, including: The simple wisdom of "JUST BALL OUT" Which players Spencer and Mike are most excited to discuss Why CFB doesn't have good heel teams these days The cocaine scene in Connecticut during the summer Exploring the universal appeal of A Big Hoss Learn more about your ad choices. Visit podcastchoices.com/adchoices

Okay, you can do this. I know, I know. Carvana makes it so convenient to sell your car. It's just hard to let go. My car and I have been through so much together. But look, you already have a great offer from Carvana. That was fast. Well, I know my license plate and VIN by heart, and those questions were easy. You're almost there.

Now to just accept the offer and schedule a pickup or drop off. How'd you do it? How were you so strong in letting go of your car? Well, I already made up my mind, and Carvana's so easy. Yeah, true. And sold. Go to Carvana.com to sell your car the convenient way. All right, let's tease this out.

Okay. It's today and find out somebody is coming over for dinner. So you have, let's call it six hours. What are you cleaning in that time space? Like, what are you prioritizing getting done to clean the house, quote unquote? At this point, for me now, just because I live in the smallest possible area, it would be getting rid of all of this video equipment because it looks like I, I do porn.

Like being in California and having this much camera equipment right near the furniture in the front of my house, it 100% looks like I do porn. It looks like you do very cramped porn. For people who are like, I love Doss Boot, but what if it had genitals? Very specific genres. Spencer, what are you attempting? Dishes, surfaces, close. clean floor clear. That's the big one, right?

Like, blap, blap, blap. You want to make sure that all of the surfaces that are identifiably surfaces, like a table should probably clean most of that off if you can, right? Floor's got to be clear because there's kids and kids just leave socks. There's going to be a sock, a random sock somewhere because kids just, kids just generate socks. They're kind of like medieval rat germ theory, right? Like you'll get a plague if you have rats and clothes and a pile on the floor.

You know, if you have kids, they just spit socks. out of their bodies. So you got to get those off the floor. And then you got to get dishes so you can eat. So make sure you got enough dish for everybody, right? Like just in garbage. I'm not going to have the garbage stinking around. There.

That's like the four basics, right? Anything past that though when they're like, you know, you should probably dust the eaves, you know? Are you touching the bathroom in any way, shape, or form? You've got to make sure it's presentable. Yeah. You got to make sure. You're doing more than you're putting some effort in.

The bathroom's going to be presentable anyway. Like, we're going to keep that out of bare minimum, but, like, you know, if you have your, like, I'm trying to think of, like, if you have something out that the person doesn't want to see, you should probably move it, right? Like Mike's porn set up. Yes. You don't want to have the whole Destroyer 3,000 probably shouldn't be out on the sink, you know? Yeah. Just put that away if you got one of those. Does it destroy the whole or does it create the hole?

That's the question we love to. Great question. Great. I don't know, but it makes 3,000 of them, so you better be ready. Can you destroy a hole because it's the absence of space? The hole destroyer 3,000, a philosophical challenge. Can God create a hole so 3,000? Even God cannot destroy it.

Welcome to the shutdowns, you are the shutdown fullcast. You are listening to the Internet's only college football podcast. I am Spencer Hall. I am joined this week by let's see who's on this here. We got a Jason Kirk. We got a Ryan Nanny. We got Michael Server on the ones

and twos. Holly is out this week. And as a guest, not a replacement, but a guest we have Mike Golick Jr. I did my best to dress as an off-duty police officer for you guys today.

I've started becoming a vest guy. I just figured it was appropriate, given my relationship. You're this universe. You're the undercover guy. You're the undercover guy that every one of my friends who lives in New York is like, that guy's undercover. And each time there's a guy wearing a vest or wearing some sort of like quarters that they're like, yeah, that's an undercover, my PD guy.

I'm getting more PE teacher that you see outside of school vibes. Like when you run into the PE teacher at Costco or something. 100%. Now he's got like a family that you had no idea was there. Yeah. yes yes yes when you saw teachers out in the real world did their homeliness surprise you or their unhappiness like what was their homeliness did you just say their homeliness no every time i saw a teacher they just looked like oh god like at school they were very glamorous they were completely together

every time i saw a teacher and they weren't in school they were casual so in my head i was like they weren't they weren't armed for battle so i was like they're vulnerable take them now So, like, casual, like, your ninth grade history teacher who coached the offensive line, he became more casual outside of school. Definitely. Absolutely, definitely. Those sweats got even, like, sweatier. Even sweatier. Yeah.

Yes. No, I can't say that I ever saw a teacher outside of school when I was nine. I was like, ugh, really dressing down today, Barbara, or whatever. What a slob. I did. I'm sorry for having standards. I hope you're at marshals to buy some new clothes Jesus

I felt like every time I saw a teacher outside of school it was where they were playing with the band that they were somehow always in so many of my high school teachers were a part of some sort of band and trying to chase this musical ambition that it probably should have died a long time ago and so it was always seeing him in that setting

where they were very eager to please, which was weird. Because the dynamic all of a sudden changed. Was it all the same band? No. There were only, I should say there were only a couple. There was one that sticks out in particular. He was like a high school English teacher and the track coach for us. He was always really sweaty in school and somehow less sweaty with the band.

Are these like 30-ish-ish people? Yeah. Okay, because I'm thinking of like, here's my 63-year-old math teacher and he fucking slays on base. You wouldn't fucking believe it. What kind of bands were these? Were they both the same? Were they in the same scene? Yeah, generally the same scene, like alt rock.

Where were you that you saw these, like, this is the part I don't understand. Where are you intersecting? Rocking out to my teachers. Most of the time when you have these stories, it's I was in the grocery store and I saw we were at Home Depot. I was in the pit and looked up and there was my Kim teacher. Coming with a lariat, right from my head. No, it was all, yeah.

It was, it was like on the way to the gig. It wasn't like at the gig, because at that point I'm like 14, 15. It was either on the way to the gig or I would see them basically in that same sort of mode at a concert venue. Because in Connecticut, when you're growing up in the summers, all there is to do is go to Dave Matthews band for everyone age 14 to infinity. and so that's the melting pot where all of a sudden you're cross-pollinating with everybody else

I was hoping that you were going to say some shit like yeah they were all in baby metal like J metal bands no although everyone yeah everyone at Dave had the same kind of tendencies I saw more

20 person street brawls police having to break things up people doing cocaine at Dave Matthews than I have at any other concert Really? Huh. First place I saw someone do cocaine. Dave Matthews.

What's the point? Why? What is the point of cocaine in the day of Matthews? That shit makes you go hip-dippa-diffle-gripple, ripple, ripple, ripple. Hi, hey. I'm so relaxed. This Dave Matthews vibes got me wanting to do eight rails. You know what's going to go well with this 45-minute?

Did you redo solo? I was going to say, if you attend a Dave Matthews show, you are. of there by a high school English teacher because that seems like the entire fan base but now I find out they're coked out gang gang warfare happening. What do you fight about at a Dave Matthews band show?

Hey, that's my girlfriend's cocaine. Is that it? You stepped on my sandal. I am going to step on your sandal. Hey brother, those are my Birkenstocks. Bring them back here. You don't have any shoes. I'm confused because you don't have any shoes to scuff. Right?

No. You don't have, you can't hate on anyone for wearing something much nicer than what you have on, because you all have on the same thing. You all drove there in the same car. It's some sort of Subaru outback to like range rover, right, land rover kind of thing. So you're all in the same spectrum. I would assume those people all get along. Like, I don't, what's the source of conflict?

Or, wait, wait, wait, or is this like an iron bolt thing where you go, the most passionate disagreements between people happen between groups which are actually just like located one nanomolecule of meaning away from each other. Is that it? But even this is, this isn't like this is like saying

oh there's a huge fight at Alabama's Spring Game every year and there's a ton of cocaine being done at Alabama Spring Game and that part might be true. Yeah, brother. Okay, I just, all right. Is it, go like you mentioned, this is all, all that Connecticut has is Dave shows.

So are the conflicts between Dave fans and people who are forced to endure Dave? No, this is much more to Spencer's point. It is people that are basically mirror images of each other. It's like when Long Island and Staten Island get into a fight, like the minor differences between the two, all of a sudden show up and cause the friction. So people who are fans of this bootleg concert versus that bootleg concert? Yes.

who is the true day's fan so yeah yeah so i i do have this does make some sense though because the the public event i have been at where i saw the most cocaine being done in and around the day before day after uh both at the event and in sort of you know companion events was an ohio state football game so this this is checking out this all makes sense to me now was i accidentally standing at a cocaine dealer's house. Yes. Yes. Did not know that until the night of. When all of a sudden the wrong 30 people show up and you go, oh, oh no.

And so all of a sudden, Urban Meyer walked in. There, guys, what's going on? Stop kicking people. This goes in my list of hypotheticals that I cannot stop giggling while imagining. One, your caller ID saying Adolf Hitler. that's like number one for me being like whoa number two if you're at a party where there's more than two illicit substances being done the open and urban mire shows up like in terms of buzzkill those are the two things where you're

like oh i have made a mistake that's a that's a theoretical that i feel like the vibe of that has changed a lot in the last three years somebody's going to have fun I opt out, but somebody will have fun. You know, that does, that does make sense, though, because, like, I don't know, if Irmaier shows up now, I'll be like, well, it's going to be a weird time. It might not be a bad time, but that God, weirder.

Right, right. Yeah, he will participate. It won't, it won't just be him standing there looking around, you know, like, there will be, um, he will contribute to him. Right. Yeah, I have a feeling that it's not going to be the typical thing either. You're going to be like, oh, boy, God, I'm not going to have to watch Urban Meyer do weird drugs. And you're like, yeah, he's over there doing ketamine.

It just got wild. He's into the veterinary meds. My goalie, Jr., before we get started, I want to just, before I forget. Before we get started. It is. No, because as I said, I have an agenda. There's shuffling papers. That's a receipt.

Spencer just held up a fucking gas seat and receipt. The call started, no, it's better. The call started 29 minutes ago. Yeah. But before we get totally started, I wanted to say, do you want to, you want to plug? Plug, plug away. Jesus. Oh, yeah.

Yeah, the thing you do. Can you name some stuff? Sure. I do a podcast. It's called Gojo. You guys should check it out. Sometimes has ebbs and flows very similar to this, but that's mostly aspirational. But yeah, check that out.

YouTube. Draft Kings is all over it. Yeah, it'll be a good time. I think we're doing a draft show, too, so that'll be fun. Yes, with Brandon Newman, who Brandon's awesome. Also, Mike's opening for Dave Matthews Band. this Thursday in Danbury, Connecticut, so. Yeah, get on it.

Bring your bag. Make some friends. Got a new fire dancer tattoo that I'm going to debut from Mattis. Mike's their devil sticks as his opening act. That's going to be fucking sweet. How many, the best part is that you could have an infinite number if you're like, hey, listen, we need local Dave Matthews band cover bands to open for Dave. If you do that and you hire everyone in the area, there are some parts of the

country where it's like there are 37 open yeah we're very far down on the list for the show where the type just gets so small that you gotta pull out the mag fine glass it's like dirty Mike and the boys aren't dirty Mike and the boys are playing Dave cover fest I saw an interview with Dave where he

said somebody said well what do you do now and he goes I just drink a lot of wine Is that your thing? I like drinking wine. Good job, Dave. Why be famous if you can't list drinking wine as a hobby? What are your passions? I don't know.

I like drinking for a minute grape juice and singing with my friends. Billy Joel's like, Hell yeah, brother. Drive into a house. Driving through three houses in Long Island. Billy does it every day. It just comes right through. Yep.

So I wanted to ask you, first of all, you're doing a draft show, correct? Yes. Yes. Okay. So when you're doing the draft show, who is the person you're going to talk about the most? Like the person you go, okay, this is so cool. I don't know if they're good. I don't know if they're bad.

But I really like talking about it because I found this doing draft shows and talking about the draft. If you watch a lot of college ball and you have to translate them to the NFL, sometimes the guys that you find most interesting or that you talk about the most, they are not necessarily the ones who are marquee, guaranteed one hitters. the guys who you go, yeah, I don't know, man, but they're interesting. So the draft or the fact that I'm most excited to talk about, because I did two NC State games last year doing the radio games with Learfield. And Chandler Zavala, their left guard, has a dad who was a chopped champion

and is like a grandmaster chef, which just fits perfectly into the O-line ethos in general. So he's probably one like I'm most excited to talk about just for that reason alone. Yeah, God. You can't like that having a chopped contestant as your dad, that's the pico line. Well, I'd say, and just for the position in general because so much of just offensive line life is your big fat herd animals,

so you do everything together and most of that revolves around meals. And you basically structure your whole week. Like Thursday nights when, yeah, still got to eat more. Someone's willing to get, especially in the NIL era now, so many of these kids are getting it for free. But if you've got a dad who's a chop chef,

maybe he comes out and lives there for the season. Maybe he cooks for the guys every Thursday. Maybe life is great then. How did he do unchapped? Oh, he won. He's like, wow. Yeah, he's that dude.

He's him a thing. That's awesome. The other question I had is this. I'm going to give you some bait, which is my favorite draft day bait. I saw the best bit of bait that I have seen all draft season. The draft season is all basically about bait and being taunted into yelling at somebody for being wrong. That's it, about things that you can't predict yet.

But I have one where I was like, I think I've been baited. And I think I've been baited properly. So I'll try to soft pedal it. But this is one. Good to see you have Hendon Hooker in the first round. He'll be the best QB from this year's draft. This came from Mike Tanenbaum, who, if you will remember, was the GM 4. the New York Jets, not the Jets that have currently put together a pretty decent team,

but the Jets that put together a Jets team and got fired for it and was not very good at his job. I've never been baited that hard. Is this the hardest draft bait of the year to this point? It is, and it's because Mike Tannamomam is still coasting off the high of being the guy that stood up amidst the Justin Herbert draft class, and it was like, oh no, like, he's the best one, I would take him, and ended up being very right about. that and so now he's operating with diplomatic immunity with the rest of this

but yes this is an insane bait from Mike T I applaud him getting those clicks up and I like Hendon Hooker and I think he has a chance to be a very good quarterback but no absolutely not

this is the guy by the way who just hit on roulette and he's like wow man one to 36 that's what the payout is I'm putting all this back on the wheel You. You're describing you. Yes. Yes.

Which, by the way. So game, recognize game. Yeah. No. This is respect. Respect. Mike T's like, no, no, no. This is all going back on the table. There's no. What else would you do with it, though? That's the thing. It's like, there's no money and no shine in being like, yep, I was right about one draft five years ago. And I just stayed quiet ever since then. I decided to just be right.

the one time like i don't know then you're like draft gandolph you only show up when there's like just incredible wisdom to reveal gandolph's poor shit gandolph wears the same the same outfit every goddamn day it doesn't appear to have a house you know what bill bellichick wears the same outfit every goddamn day except except when he's on his sailing magazine cover where he shows you how fucking flossie he is where's gandolph just like gandolph where he's gandolph's man took it it's at At the top of the hill, brother. The two towers, yeah. Ryan said he got glowed up for that one.

At the turn of the tide, I looked up and saw Bill Belichick on a little sailboat. Do you want to know how down Gandalf is with the luxury sailing lifestyle? He could call dead sailors and they show up. That's the other guy. That's for salary cap reasons, though. That's the heat cockassity. I just saw a bunch of undead slot receivers. Undead three-star slot receivers

Just showing up for me Track the squad of the dead I'll just coach them up It's amazing I could summon an army of Dion branches They just show up Wait Spencer You talked about like random

Like draft guys You're excited I don't know about you I have a fascination with guys that just look comically large On tape amongst other comically large people And so like Dewan Jones from Ohio State

I genuinely have no idea. Like I don't know how to scout a player that's that large because like there's a bunch of stuff that he doesn't do that well, but it's like trying to run around an 18 wheeler and a lot of people really struggle with that. So like he gets a blocked. I don't know what to do. Him and Brian Brazzi and Tyree Wilson are first team all comically large compared to their peers. I love just looking at them be gigantic action figures. And why wouldn't you draft somebody that big? Think about how many pounds you're adding per pick yeah why draft a small guy your team did not get very much bigger also like I know how dudes work and draft boards and the people who put them together are still

largely composed of men fair or not that is just the fact and until that problem is solved I know you can walk into the room and you can be like I got a house I got a horse I can be like Hoss, Hoss, Hoss, I guarantee you, 32 NFL teams, I can walk into like 20 of them, minimum, and get the owner on board just channing Hoss, and they would go with on a draft day. Dan Campbell would start to chant. I don't know if that's purely a gendered thing.

Like, there are enough women who are into, like, hopper from stranger things, and he's, like, kind of the hoss of that show. I think ladies are draft hosses at the exact same rate. Yeah, I think. I think this is actually one way in which the end of all about you. Haas is a gender neutral thing to fancy. Everybody likes cake.

Big meaty men are for all. Big meaty men slap meat. I mean, I like that you've identified the subgenre of women who like a man who resembles a shambling draft course. That's all women. Like, 90s, Garth Brooks wasn't like, oh, he's so slim, you know? Whereas Ryan said, that's a woman who has found the guy who, the model that doesn't fart.

No. Like, even women who aren't into men in that way still look at a big ass guy and think, wow, impressive. Yeah. That's a lot. What an efficient allocation. I could stack stuff on top of all that if I need somewhere to put things. This is going back to it, going back to an earlier theme, this is the Costco school of, you know, finding a man. You go, is it good?

You know, I don't know, but I can buy a big ass can of them for like two bucks. There's so much of it. There's got to be something in there for you. That's right. That's right. Let me ask each dispenser, Mike, let me ask you each. who is the let's say day one prospect that as of today you're like i feel the least prepared to talk about this person in any detail and if put on the spot i will feel a little iffy about

is there anybody like i know no no i got a guy and i've gotten closer on him watching him the last couple of days so i'm going to test my notes on you live okay all right but the dude who first round I felt very very uncertain as to how to because the hardest thing for me is to describe because you have to translate and say this is what this guy does they're all football players they all play their positions but you go okay and and I know Mike feels this on the offensive line in particular because they they all do such similar but different things right like when you have a big ass guard that's a different job than you know you have a than a tackle because a tackle is just it's more technical it's a more technical position it does slightly

things than the guard, right? And that's hard to translate for anyone listening. The person for me that it's been hardest to zero in on exactly what they do and how they do it is C.J. Stroud. And it's harder because he's good. It's harder because he's good and it's harder because he is a different kind of quarterback than the ones you have seen. And if I had to line him up, like I got a beat on Levis. I can say what Levis says. Levis Project, right? Like Levis in terms of a project, I don't actually think he's that much different than Anthony Richardson. I really don't in terms of what they're going to need to do, right? They're curve.

They might have different skills and they have a different ceiling, I think, but they're both going to have to go to school. So like rough cut, I can say those two are over here. Right. You're over here. My fingers, they're in a different category. With Bryce Young, all you do is you go, he's short. Right.

This is an awesome quarterback who's short. That's it. That's not hard. He does everything real well. But what does C.J. Stroud do? And I'm like, okay, well, I feel like I've gotten closer. I can explain this. I feel like C.J. Stroud is a problem solver.

That's the kind of quarterback he is. I don't feel like he's just a pull and fire dude. I don't feel like he's overwhelmingly talented physically. I think he is very talented. I don't think he's like 99th percentile. He's like 98th if you had to like, you know, split hairs here. But the thing he does really well. And he especially does this in the Penn State game is he looks at a puzzle and he gets everyone on board.

Like, I feel like he is probably the best, he and Young are the best team players in that. I feel like they walk up and they go, I need to make sure everyone's going on, or everyone knows what's going on. They're great at communication, and I feel like he's got a really strong arm. That's it. I'm getting closer to a good description of him. So you can tell me you're like, that's incoherent, Spencer. No, I feel like C.J. Stroud is a good problem solver who, while not the kind of guy who you go,

he can overcome bad play design or he can overcome good coverage. I don't feel like that's always the case. I do feel like he's the kind of guy though who kind of walks into every play and goes okay what am I looking at who do I need to talk to and that's a good thing he's a good problem solver, good communicator and I think for a pro that's super important

because in college a lot of the time we see a dude who can't talk right who just walks up and he's like I'm a ball and everyone's like okay I guess we're ball and you know you got to catch the ball I don't think strouds that dude but he throws a good deep out and he likes to look at

coverages and go that guy is coming. I need to get the bowl to you. Like he's real seen on film when he's good. That's what he does best. Spencer, I had a teammate once that you would appreciate in a bowl practice was just wholly unprepared. He was like a third string guy who was getting run because we were in the young guy scrimmage days and he got out there at linebacker had no idea what the defensive call was. And so he just waved his hands at everyone and said, Just ball out. Just ball out. That was the only thing he said to everyone on defense.

Got it. Okay. Say less. I got you, dog. Just ball out. So, yeah. Which ball is that? He's been all pro five years running.

Yeah. Which bowl was that? That was, I think, the champ sports bowl. So I think that would have been 2011. That'll get you through the champ sports bowl, though. That's the right attitude. Yeah, that's good enough. Yeah, yeah, that was.

What about you, Mike? Who's the guy that you go, okay, I really, I'm not quite there? I would say just defensive backs in general tend to be a place that's really, because I've always said, to me, defensive backs are the closest thing that you get to offensive linemen at any other position group because you're going backwards, doing an a natural skill set against some of the best athletes in the world. And you've got to have communication amongst a group of four, sometimes five, sometimes even six guys about what's going on. And you know, you kind of pass off stunts the same way, the same way you pass off

routes. And a lot of that is similar. But it's just also things can happen so infrequently. I'm spoiled by watching trench play so much where for an offensive or defensive lineman, something happens every play. You have to do something. You have to react to something every play. And so, like, looking at this class here, you've got really good players. Like, I know Brian Branch is a beast. I know going on down the list, Joey Porter Jr., like, length is going to be the sell for him, the Rodriguez kid from Oregon, smooth, fluid athlete. Like, he was one where I did their game this year where I said, you don't really have to know what good defensive backplay is to watch that kid and go, he's good at this. Like, he just very

naturally sticks with everyone, runs like a receiver, is very fluid in that way and can kind of latch on to guys. So I think all of those guys are the ones like, I think I enjoy like Witherspoon from Illinois just because his just tends to be like badass. Like Devin Witherspoon is basically the defensive back most likely to try and beat you up in a bar fight. But in general, those guys are always sort of my blind spot. Also note, he's currently mocked the most to Philly. So Perfect. God's timing is perfect. You got to watch him defend an in-cutter or a slant

because the moment where they're supposed to break, Devin Witherspoon is already pushing them forward. Like, there's just contact rules. Devin Witherspoon is like, the minute you make that cut into the field, he's like, what, what, what, what? Like immediately on you. It's hilarious. Like, he should be flagged a lot more than he was.

Like, and he probably will, but I love that. I love thinking about his game as, like, the transcript of Kyle Anderson bullying Rudy Gobert that came out. Yeah, he just called him a bitch repeatedly. This is why I love working in sports, because there are professional moments where they're like, so we need to address you calling your teammate a bitch. Like, they have to get HR in for that. Like, so quote, I'm running down here.

It was on TV. Everyone saw it happen. We can go to the tape if you want. The tape that was on ABC. I'll never apologize. Tell me I'm wrong. Again, this is where you go, well, you used abusive language. We can't argue the factuality of this or not.

Let's do that. Truth is a defense to lieblown. Granted, I too find Rudy Cabarris and be a bitch. However, this is where, this is why the. The NBA can't be top for its MBAness because Draymond Green immediately went on his podcast and said, yeah, you know, he is kind of a bitch. Draymond immediately unleashed a tweet he'd been sitting on for what, two or three years? Yes.

Yes. This is where Draymond just has a list. Like he's got a list and he keeps it and it's just like list of bitches. And when it comes up, it's like his authoritative list. Most of us have Twitter drafts that are just like a tweet that didn't send riot or like we were half drunk and can't remember i am confident draymond has like a carefully cataloged like let's see subcategory bitch let's find which team we're talking about draymond's drafts are like batman's plans to kill the rest of the justice league if i need to

i will press end on all of them i've studied you all for years i know your I know exactly what I'll make you mad at mine. With merely a tweet, I'll take you down like Nick Fury taking down Thor with one word. This is like France for a long time had a nuclear strategy, which was called all azimuths in the event of a nuclear crisis. France was just going to press the button and kill everyone. They were just going to send one to London. They were just going to send one to London.

They were going to send everything they had. They were just going to be like, ah, au revoir. Imagine how well the FBI could have run if Jay Edgar Hoover had had Draymond Green working for him the whole time. Dream mentality. It's summer. Major League Baseball is in full swing and there's one app for you

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WrestleMania. Correct. Now, was this the first? Had you ever been to wrestling before, or did you just jump right in? Went right in cold. Had never been to a live wrestling event and decided to go to WrestleMania. Did you do both days? I just did Saturday. No, I couldn't make Sunday. So I just did the first day. That was the good day. You chose the right now. Yeah, I wanted to ask, one, I guess your overall, like, it did take the top of your head off, right?

Yeah, so it was weird because my week leading up to that, the weekend before I had been to in Las Vegas at Allegiant for the first night of Taylor Swift's two shows at that venue. And then I came back to Los Angeles and went to night one of WrestleMania. And I got to tell you, an incredible amount of sequence. at both, like very similar outfit choices from a lot of people involved in both worlds and a similar fealty to the deity that they are worshipping in the middle of the entire situation. So a lot more in common than you would imagine those two groups would have on paper. I also wanted to ask, what should we port over?

Like, there's a lot of things for me from WrestleMania. We need to introduce to the rest of sports. We've unfairly confined them to sports entertainment. and we're going to have my suggestion is this and you didn't see it because you were lives and quite get the same experience they staged two different shows right the jigsmenia and what you see is you see the tv set the stage and all of the areas that they'd use like the ramp and everything but they also staged a wrestling show that takes up the entire arena and is fully staged for everyone's seating in the arena the thing for me i think we need to bring we need opposition announcer who hates one of the participants or teams in a sporting event. And that's how Gasterly they are, for instance, since Jim Ross saying, like, he's going to go to hell for that. What a scoundrel.

Like, we need more of that in sports. What would you bring over? So, like, ornate entrances, we already kind of have the crossover in both now. I know Clemson's kind of got the hill on lock, but man, the giant. gigant, like comically long Hollywood style stage at WrestleMania 39 was really aspirational. I also just like the idea at a sporting event of having a cage that could be dropped down at any time. And whoever is under the cage, you are now the only live players in the action. Like, I didn't even get to see the cage lowered, but the whole time it was just like this looming other player in the game where I was like, well, I don't know when it's coming.

I'm new here. so it could eventually just pop down and the idea that at some point that could happen where we just have or quarter the entire field of play and whoever's left in there has to pick up the pieces could be a really interesting wrinkle to have.

You're in the red zone now. I do kind of like the idea once you're in the red zone, you just lower a cage over the whole field and you can bounce a pass off it. There's only one way out of the red zone and it's to fumble the ball out of the back of the end zone.

no touchbacks that's just coming back live um when you were there too this is the other thing that we need more of we need more for more fan participation if you go to a wrestling event the best part is that the marks mark out really hard and have different things they do the whole time like football crowds can be great but we have nothing that compares with this is awesome like this is awesome should be more of a chant that's like part of sports lives we don't have Rick Flair woo's whenever anyone gets chest chopped or the boo or yay. We need more of that, like by far. Yeah, that part I wasn't prepared for because that started in the concourse.

Like all of a sudden people were just coming out of nowhere out of the bathroom and everyone in line to get hot dogs is wooing and I'm I'm playing ketchup on everything. And so then all of a sudden I get out and I get it in context inside the actual like stadium itself. But out there, I was just like, okay, yeah, no, this is a cult that I have done. just recently joined, and I didn't read the pamphlet. I mean, we do have, you know, Illinois and Penn State that go to 35 overtimes. That's a fight forever situation.

Mm-hmm. We do need that by far. Or like, I'm going to AEW tomorrow night, and I had to read up. You know, you have to be prepped. Everybody's going to be yelling cowboy shit because Adam Hangman Page is wrestling. I was going to say the one thing I wanted to see sports ad, too, that you mentioned getting caught up on things. Wrestling did a phenomenal job at WrestleMania, I mean, did it.

a phenomenal job with the video synopsies that they run inside the stadium before every match I get a little vignette that tells me everything I need to know about everyone who's going battle inside the ring and if you just ran that inside the stadium like up on the video board like oh last time on Dragon Ball Z when these two teams scored off and you just went to that it would be a wonderful way to make sure that all right everyone's caught up here if you're just some random friend that Pat you know went along with your buddies on this game So, like, the only way to do that, honestly, would be, like, to let each of the schools make the video package about the other school, right? Like, if you want a good guy announcer and a heel announcer, like Spencer's idea, you need to combine radio crews for each game.

Everybody gets to send one announcer, right? So, like, to do the video package thing, you have to let, like, Ole Miss make Auburn's pregame video. You know what I mean? Oh, imagine the Michigan-Michigan State game next year if you did this. I mean, Michigan does this before the Ohio State game in real life. And you get, well, the thing is, we need Ohio State to also get a minute of airtime in that video. Like, they both get to present their own alternate reality because it's either that or we have like an quote-unquote impartial third party stitch these two things together. Special do it.

I'll do it. Yeah. I also, like, I also totally believe in, like, I think we need to allow more teams to make heel and face turns. We need, like, we need that all the time, you know? Because you need a good heel. Like, I think one problem with Alabama and why they were never really that compelling is they got on an undertaker thing of, like, being kind of a neutral heel and not like a heel. Alabama came in and they're just like, we're just like, we're just on a streak. We're just undead. But now all sports teams want to be a heel for their own purpose. They want to be a heel just from the perspective of, like, everyone was against us. And no one thought we could, like, nobody really wants to be a heel for its own sake or for the, for the beauty of, like, being the fly in the ointment. Like, you know, it's just all bullshit, uh, hype talk at this point. I think every sports team, every athlete at this point wants to be a fake John Sina underdog. Mm-hmm. Like, the John Cena's thing is like, he's, you know, his wrestling character is like

ultimate unstoppable Superman who also has enough political poll to say, yeah, I don't really want to lose to that guy. So I won't. But also at the same time, the whole brand is like, try really hard because no one believes in you. And that is how every athlete talks, even though they are all unstoppable super persons. There's only one team I know of that really wants to be the bad guy. and it's Miami

but the funny part is they can't actually be Scott Hall and say hi to the bad guy because they can't get there Yeah they're not over right They're not over They're the Austin theory of the Of college football Like we'd love to boo you but we don't really give a shit

Like I think Texas could play this role If they got it's your Dominic Mysterio Fuck that team Fuck everything about them We will go to it a game just to say fuck them. That's how you get over and as a heel. Where does A&M fit into that equation?

Oh, boy. You just kind of ogle them. You kind of just observe the weird shit they're doing. So they're like, they're like, they're going to jump off some shit. They're going to hurt themselves. They're going to make a lot of money, but their dad still won't love them. Yeah, like you hear, must be the money comes on and then they walk in and blow their quad. are these all these weird movements on purpose

is any of this shit supposed to look real no it's really they think it's really cool he thinks it looks really cool don't why is he flailing his arms like that are those supposed to be punches must be the money ow shade McMay it does sort of look like like a swole yell eater too it looks like bloated jimbo like waterlogged jimbo

if you said if you said like hdh softball dad I think that's the brand I do that is totally the brand and then Snoop Dogg has to bail you out yes yes

yeah Snoop Dog uh improv master of the year who uh granted he got a little bit of assistance there's video showing like the cameraman is immediately yelling punch the miss which is like the solution to every problem is a camera man telling you to punch someone and the ref she ran over to snoop and she's like people's elbow and like snoop put together these two pieces of information just like i will do an impersonation of dwayne the rock johnson right now in front of 90 000 people

so if i just said texasanan football helped from the ring after injury that's pretty much a program epitaph right yeah like yes helped from the ring But I think your larger point is right that we do need more college football programs that just embrace heel status. Real heel status, real heel status, yes. 89, Miami. Yes, yes. And we've had lots of them in the past, but it's just, I don't know if it's just like it feels too unfamily friendly or if it's just, I don't know what it is, but it's just not as appealing anymore for whatever reason. Even like some of those, even some of those, like, Pete USC teams had sort of kind of a heel energy to him, right? Does, would Davos Clemson teams have heel energy or more of that John Sina energy?

Very, extremely John Sina energy. My God. Oh, everyone hates us because we're so nice. That type of shit. Let me come out rap at you. Yeah. He has done that. Oh, God.

Yeah. No, he's done that. Bamma was over as a heel for a while, but they were the Brock Lesnar heel where it's like, I really want to hate them, but holy fuck, they're so awesome.

Yeah, I just can't look at them. I have one game that is the most healed performance of the last like three or four years, and that's 2021, Georgia, Arkansas,

where Arkansas came in like, I don't know, things are looking up for Arkansas. And it was one of those, it was one of those like after seven minutes, you're like, everyone's in trouble, run.

squash squash match yeah you know like occasionally there's a match early in the card where they're like Brock Lesner versus a three year old girl

and you know I've never seen that yeah but three minutes into the match you know it's over right like max that's to me one of those like squash matches

that's exactly what that game felt like because a good three minutes into the game you could just tell you're like oh it's 98 degrees on that field and they're going to die. So at least in Japanese wrestling, the

person playing the role of Georgia in this would like sell the three-year-old girl's offense. Like look up the video of Kenny Omega being defeated by like a six-year-old girl selling her offense with his whole heart. That's how you should do it, Georgia.

Or the inflatable doll. There's an inflatable doll that I believe is one-on-one in regular matches. Yes. So that's Missouri. That is Missouri winning the SEC East. Everyone is just, we are going to sell the dinosaur costumes offense. Florida just sees the inflatable doll coming in the ring. It's like, fuck.

Boss said it'd be funny. Boss said it'd be really, listen, we're the SEC East. We're the comedy match. We're the comedy match before the main event. It's fine. Dude, that's got to be the best job in the world. You show up to Japan. You don't speak the language.

Somebody comes to you and goes, you are going to fight a girl today. Okay, mixed gender wrestling. No, no, a seven-year-old girl. A seven-year-old girl. Okay, okay, okay. She's extremely powerful. Got it, got it. We will pay you $7,000 to lose to this six-year-old girl today in your underwear.

You're like, got it, yeah. If you land any offense whatsoever, the entire building will hate you. You have to be brutalized from bell to bell. They'll be mostly silent for both. right yes this is a normal day in your life I feel like parents would be incredibly well prepared for everything you just described that's true yeah yeah it is a large part of the job

selling offense by four year olds oh my back oh he's really the psychological story of this match is that he is wearing down my lower back oh it hurts so bad I think they can exactly with an announcer this is another reason I want the announcer is that I want the announcer to sell things that don't really exist. I want the announce because the announcer, the color announcer, especially in a wrestling broadcast, tries to make things real that are not.

For instance, selling like, I don't know how much longer these men can stand the physical stress of these chest chops, you know, that places so much, like they make up damage, right? Right, yes. They'll be like, yes, it brings the blood to the chest, which inflicts psychological damage on the cerebrospinal cortex, which then disables the heel. You know? Yes. Yes.

Like, they do so much horse shit physiologically that I would love to see this from a college football perspective. Like, they played Boomer Sooner's 73 times. The oral stress on the ear translates directly to the cerebral spinal column, which affects the nervous system of the quarterback. It's proof 67% more interceptions in the third quarter when they've played Boomer sooner against these boys. I feel like we already have this. And that is, this is, they're wearing them down with the rushing attack. Yeah. Like, I think that's our version of.

Sometimes it is true, but sometimes it is just like, oh boy, the brutality being inflicted here. He gets stronger as the game goes on. By God, he's establishing the run. Yes. So, so, Colin, you have played against, you played the game. Was there a point where you're like, we should probably stop trying to establish the run? Like, as in office of limer, you're like, yeah, this should not working. I don't think it's going to be established today.

I'm going to say, I'm going to tell you, sometimes pass blockings are. really nice break. Like some, like, yeah, sometimes having to pass block the errandons of the world sucks. But other times, especially when you play center or guard, there's just whole plays where you're blocking air and you're supposed to go find work and your own line coach get a yell at you later, but play 75 in the game. Sometimes it's nice to just throw a post hand on the guy the center's blocking. Look out.

You're like, oh, the tackle's got him. He's good right now. We're just going to pound our feet and look busy. That's right. Are you just like leaning? Like, okay, I got you. Look at me. I'm doing something. Yeah.

And all you got to say after is like, listen, coach, I felt him. I thought he was going to try and cross-case. This is like the third person helping to carry a couch who's like in the corner or in the middle somewhere. It's not really doing anything. But you're like, no, I'm here. We all got this guys.

We're all doing this. Like that is just calling out directions. Watch your left. That is playing center in college football. That is playing center in college football. You're there to play air traffic control. And then for the teams that line up with, like you've got to pay eventually when a team wants to run a three,

and they line up some 350-pound hoss in front of you, like watching my buddies try and block Star Latulahe looked like hell. I was really glad to be not playing at that point. I hate for y'all. They were just running into this brick wall that wasn't doing anything for him. But the other times,

if someone's got a four down front, playing center in college football is the easiest shit on her. I recommend it to anybody. You're just like, literally, you're doing the Wong, right? You're like, y'all have fun fighting Thanos. Yep. I'll be over here. have to watch the library.

I'm just going to get some distance back here. Circle my hands a little bit. Circle my hands a little bit. Shuffle the feet. Yeah, Wong's footwork. Fucking phenomenal. Yeah, man. He's got a good base to him.

I think he could do it. Yeah, that's right. They all brace really well. I mean, they get it. Good body angles. This is where I go full wrestling announcer and go, he's so smart. What a tactician.

He's got those educated feet. Like, I just, before this, I just watched the Kenny Omega Adam Hangman Page title fight from 2022. At one point, the evil manager comes over and grabs hangman's boot when he's trying to kick. And he grabs the boot from out of the ring and interferes. And Jim Ross, classic line goes, he's so smart. The time follicle, the way he attacked the guy in the ring. Yeah, the way he cheated. Like, every time I see his center come with, like, a last minute, like, pile jump block, right?

Like, the guard has fought Star Lo-Tulele to the ground. The center's like, yep, touched him. Yep, did something. I'm always like, I'm always like, tactician. Yeah. Anything you get away with that the roof didn't see is brilliant. Yeah. He's like a coach on the field.

And his body and skills are middle-aged. Which you can absolutely pull off as a center too because the coolest thing you get to do, crouch and point. It's the best pictures I ever have of me playing football. Hell yeah. Half the time it's completely useless, but you're just. like, you know what? I want to over-communicate crouching point. Now I look cool. Let me tell you. I look like such a leader.

Let me tell you who loves a fucking college football center and that's Getty images. Oh my God. They love those dudes. The big men of action. That's right. Because you're just far enough out of the front of the rest of the line that when they take the shot down the line of scrimmage. Oh, I got a great shot from the BC game. We played them in 2011. Tattoos are out and flowing. I look like I'm leading.

Like I'm Washington leading everyone. across the river. Look at this braveheart chint. Look at fucking Babe Ruth calling his shot. It looks like I'm calling you out, motherfucker. But really, it's just like here is our strategic point of emphasis. Yeah, yeah. This is like trying to find Robbie Gordon in old NASCAR photos if you're trying to find a guard.

Because, you know, you would not be that. If you're the center, you're clear. You're like, you're Dale Earnhardt. or you're not in the crash. The best part is if you try to find a photo of a guard, you know, I remember, guard from Notre Dame, big badass. Quentin Nelson.

Correct. So I was trying to find clean photos of Quentin Nelson, and it was impossible because Quentin Nelson was always under three guys. Because he had started. It's like trying to find a clean shot of Johnny Knoxville. It's not possible because you're like, well, he's being shot or he's clearly in pain here, right? Like, Quentin Nelson, if you're trying to find a photo.

It's like, Quentin Nelson is under the bull, yeah. Right. Or like, Robbie Gordon was always under three cars because he just started some shit, right? He was the guy who started the crash. So if you're trying to find a guard, it's got to suck to find your official photo. Like, I don't need one for mom. And they're like, well, here's three dirty, 300-pound men on top of you right here. Yeah. And I mean, so you've got that combined with the fact that he's always wearing gold pants, which render and look like you pissed yourself more often than not. Although in my defense, I was pissing myself more often than not. Like, my senior day photo is me out with my parents blatant pee stain right in the front. Was that always voluntary or sometimes you're just like it was really hard. It's true of a lot of college seniors. It's not football specific.

No, Spencer, it was not voluntary. More often than not, it was like I'm so, I always puke before games anyway, so I'm just ejecting fluids out of every part of my body and that was just one of the places. That's why we call him gusher. it's a beautiful sport is what we're trying to stay

beautifully beautiful um i did have another question for you you have lost a tremendous amount of weight like most alignment since you stopped playing what did you do to put size on what did you eat like what was the what was the mass keeper if it like everything everywhere all at once it was just because like when we got to college too there weren't nutrition plans like you have now it was have a loaf of peanut butter or loaf of bread and a jar of peanut butter under your bed and as much weight

gainer as they'll give you at GNC and just eat those the first time you wake up and right when you go to bed and then just never stop in the interim. Sam Young who was offensive linemen, he was like a junior senior and I got there, had my favorite NFL career because you just look up

and Sam was still playing somewhere. Just filling out an offensive line room, incredible vibes guy. And he was like six, six, and they really wanted him to put weight on. So he would show up at like 4.30 in the morning before a 5 or 6 a.m. lift and they would make him chug these diesel can Gatorade protein shakes that we had

that are like 800% your daily intake of sugar and a bunch of calories and he would chug five of those wait around for five minutes and then work out for us. Yeah. Yes. Yeah. So between I started when I was, speaking of sodium, I started when I was a kid.

to come home from Pop Warner practice and my mom would just make me the family size can of Chef Boy R.D. Ravioli's and I would just sit there and mollywop the bowl. So you're like my physical icon, what I'm going for

the goal is Lott's white. I'm just going to be pillar of salt. The other question I have the question for you and it's really less of a question and more of like an advice because my whole life

I've wanted to do steroids and haven't. But, you know, if I just say one cycle for a, right, I should just do, I should just do one cycle, right? So we're supposed to say, no, no, don't do it. Do it. Do it. Do it. Yes. Get big.

Spencer, I'm in the same boat as you were now that no one's going to test me. I'm like, man, this would be kind of cool. Like, I see, I see the guys that the jet, like I work out of the 24 hour fitness that's full of meatheads down in the free weight section. And I see the guys that are, oh, clearly just, I want to go and start. to ask the questions about what weird website you get this off of because I'd love to look like that just for a little bit. Not long enough to where it's going to fully compromise my body like we see all these old bodybuilders, but just enough to get me close. Just to get some photos. Yes, that's it. A couple photos, yeah. That's it. Or to be the weirdly swole old man. That's where

I'm at. Did a weirdly swole old man where they're like, yeah, he's on gear, but damn. what what is holding you back at this point Spencer um what's holding me back are the uh it won it's a routine

so I would be worried that I would just take the shit like like that'll take it all at once like that'll have it all at once take it all at once and some weird anime shit happens that's kind of goes like

you're as big as part of me just starts bubbling like cauliflower right and I'm like yeah and I develop psychic powers and destroyed into Kelsey Grammer Hank McCoy was crazy

if I could do something where I became furry blue thing right now I do it right now I know you would oh in a heartbeat yes

yeah no like is there a button right here that I can press to do that right now I think the only issue you would have is you'd be so hot

all the time you'd be so hot like I don't know how Beast wears a fucking suit I don't know how he isn't just like sweat through every dress shirt. My brother, he wears tweed.

If you see it, he wears tape a sword of tweed. I think it's because blue is a cool color. I know. Yeah. To quote the internet, I know it smell crazy in there. This goes all the way back to our original point about ladies preferring a good hoss. But my sister watched like the new beauty and the beast when it came out.

And I remember one point. point she's like, why the hell would she want him to change? He's great the way he is. Perfect man. What warm? Saves on heating bills in the winter. He's a big beefy boy with good hair. What's wrong with that?

Lots of it. So just the routine is throwing you off? He's going to eat, right? Oh, there's a number of different things, Ryan. There's a number of different obstacles here. One, routine, routine, because I'm going to have to remember to do that, right? And I'm terrible. remember to take any medications, much less

ones that are recreational or voluntary, right? Like, this is the reason I'm a terrible addict because I can't remember to do the thing. I can't remember to be addicted. This is the reason I can't. Not again. I don't actually drink that much anymore. What the fuck is it that I'm addicted

to? I'm worried about your conception of addiction at this point. No, because I mean, I had like a drinking problem at one point, but one of the things that was my big advantage in overcoming that drinking problem was I could not one plan the logistics necessary to be a good drunk because you have to have a routine like if you have to be disciplined right if you're going to keep a job and have a substance abuse problem

and ultimately my level of addiction was not that great because I could overcome it I could say I'm not organized enough to be an addict right like I could not hit that next level simply forgot this explains a lot about certain college football coaches but please go ahead you know and I could not and obviously like my level was not on the level of being enough of a problem and that's the real blessing but my superpower my little advantage there

was that I could not be organized enough to pull it off there's like right there two the other thing is this I really I don't ever want to off cycle like I got Barry Bond's approach to this do you know Barry Bond's approach to steroid cycling was

he took it and he got huge and his trainer Anderson said bro you got an off cycle and Barry Bonds was like I fuck that I'm never off cycling and he just started another cycle so he just got bigger and bigger and he never went off I would never under I would never ever have the discipline to be like well in three months I got to pick this back up no I would just be a bloated hormonally deranged mess six months out being like oh forgot crap you're gonna hit so many dingers though do it for America he did so he did he did he did he did royd so hard that he had muscles in his arm shear off in his first season. Is he the closest we've gotten to the actual juggernaut existing in real life?

Baseball juggernaut. Mike Mamoula was on that gas. Before Bonds was ever around, Mike Mobula was hard on that gas. He was probably the real-life juggernaut. I would pitch around the juggernaut. That's all I'm saying. I'd definitely walk him. But at the same time, if you told me like, yeah, when the juggernaut was younger, he stole 40 bases,

I'd be like, holy shit. Gingonaut definitely deserves to be in the baseball. I mean, I'm not guarding the plate if the juggernaut is rounding third. I'm like, oh shit, the sun's in my eyes. I fell out of the way. I have a contrary opinion. I would have hit

bonds because then he'd have to run out after me. Right? Because the best he's doing is a speedwalk. I'd probably just keep moving backwards hoping he'd pull something. Right. Right. That's pretty good. And like, there's no lateral quicks with that either. It's straight line. So you just olea one way or the other. It's like

it's like it's chased by an alligator. basically zigzag you got to zigzag away from Barry it's so strong call him cater arms also

for who and for what like if I if I deadlift 500 pounds what's it do for anyone like that's the thing if I'm on roids and I do all the things TikTok

who's going to care and they're still going to hate me doesn't matter no no remember we're trying we're trying heel turns you want to say You want to be the heel of steroid deadlifting talk.

They didn't believe I could deadlift 500. Exactly. Somebody's be like, he's on test. And I'm like, brother, I'm on all the tests. Brother, I am the test and you can't pass it. I got a test for you. Tell me what I'm not on, huh? That's it.

They'll be like, yeah, he's on gear. And I'm like, top gear. Oh, yeah. Be 12, baby. This heart's, this heart. huge. I'm gonna be dead butt 57. Yeah. That's the other that's the other problem is that if I actually had to stick

with it in the manner in which I would, in six months I'd be rich piano. I'd be like, I got problems. I'd be cutting YouTube videos where I'm like, yeah, I don't know, I missed them my whole life. I'm on a cut. Throw rough, bro! Like, these terrifying weight of the videos. I'm so big. What I've done to gain this power.

I had to custom order the casket. It's a big casket, which is pretty cool. my YouTube channel would have 3.2 million views and all of them would be like get help get help I'm really worried about Spencer yeah oh god I can't wait till the next video though yeah he's so big he's so big he's so dope yeah also you do have to do all the work which you know like that that would be fine but you don't want to become one of them you just you don't want to become one of

those people so that's so basically lack of organizational skills is really the biggest obstacle to me doing it. Also, you've become an unnatural shade of, like, red if you're like, yeah. Oh, I've seen the Lever King. I know. Dog look. That hot dog look. It's not good.

You know, you also get, like, the HGH gut, like the Palumbo gut. I'm just imagining the Liver King rolling on one of those gas station hot dog things now. Don't eat me. Although I am all natural. No, he's not. no um yeah those are those are those are all of the reasons that i i simply would not i would decline okay those are actually those are actually very good reasons for you those are very honest reasons

yeah yeah well the reason spencer can't do steroids are the same reasons that i can't buy chips and dip for myself at grocery store anymore cereal because i will consume them all at once irresponsibly and then not do so the next time. Because you'll become too powerful. Same thing. They make Zaps pretzel sticks now. Like you can get vood. I didn't need to know that.

Zaps Voodoo flavor. They were in this house once and never again. They will never return to this home. They made it too strong. Yep, that's right. You just black back in and you look down, covered in it. What have I become? It's one of those things where you're like, oh, other people in the house will want these?

Guess not. they had like 15 seconds other people in the house are going to want them and that's the problem that's why I must dispose of this now I'm saving you you don't understand the sacrifice I'm making you were you were Dexter in that one episode

where somebody's like no but I want to be killed and you're like ah I gotta do it just to be clear it's April 11th 2023 and Spencer is referencing Dexter I did I did the novel sir The novel.

Jesus. Oh, my God. Simon Estete. You're a nightmare. Please, are you the one to basic cable check me here? Please. About what?

Referencing a basic cable show. You're like, you are on my level. First of all, Dexter is not basic cable. It's pretty much cable. You fucking Philistine. Maybe it. Maybe if you're a broke boy. Is that even mean?

I got so much money, they put it on regular cable for me. This is part of my heel turn, Jason. I'm so rich, they put it all on CBS for me. When you live in a courtyard by Marriott, as I do, you're all basic cable, baby. Sorry you ain't on this homewood sweep. No, you can keep the points. I'll take the rest of this on cable, please.

Would you like to enter your member's number? Nah, you can keep them. No, I don't need to. Dexter's on basic cable. You want to come up my room and watch TV? You want to watch Dexter? It's on every channel. Dexter and True Blood.

That's all I do. True Blood by day. Hey. I've seen like two episodes of Dexter ever. I watched all of True Blood. I know you watched all of True Blood. Yeah, Dexter is like, it's like 90% stupid enough. True Blood is the authentic 200% stupid enough.

See, I'm in on True Blood, not Dexter. Dexter has too many people thinking like, I think we can make this good. And True Blood is all people who are like, oh, this is bad, baby. We go do this big. Disco will be wrong. real stupid shit. Gambit executive producer.

The inside of Gambit's brain is that show. Gambit's brain when rogue walks past. All REM is so horrid for the vampire. That show is so dumb that the best part is that they could walk in. They'd be like, I'm a televangelist

who's also a wear panther and you're like, whatever. Whatever. We did that in season three. what else you got where's the rest of your bit that's not enough the starting point was there's a vampire who sounds like Elvis you're like go ahead

that's that sounds like exactly what's happened with the people making the fast franchise where now it's like hell yeah the rock can redirect a torpedo on top of the ice let's go he could though you know why gear he's on good so I've had all my cons

And I'm like, Ryan, maybe I could do steroids because I had the discipline to finish every episode of Trueblood. And if I put myself through that. That's right. What kind of shit is Dominic Toreto canonically on at this point now that, you know, in this next movie, I'm sure he's going to fucking throw cars at each other and like catch a car in the air and return it to the person who threw it? How much, how much, how much, how much, how much roids is he doing at this point? that character okay I have an answer

so it's government first of all it's government roids right secret government he's got that great shit

yeah not our got that shit they gave Drago no no no no yeah yeah

designed by ludicrous the smartest man alive yes that's right yeah I'm at the top of my

game and with this you will be too what's in my brains is not now in your biceps. Getting erotic, giving your body just what it deserve.

Test. D-ball, baby. I love that the smartest man in the universe went to Georgia State in the fast universe. Well, yeah. Of course he did. Of course he did. It's the best school of the fast universe.

Yeah. I think the only schools in the fast universe are Georgia State and San Diego State. Which one did you go to? they get like they bring in like a villain school right like that's where all the villains came from and it's somewhere that like it's like Oklahoma or something like that's a place we've never been anywhere near because there's not an ocean it must be scary there's nowhere there's nothing there's nothing glamorous or cool there um yeah I I think he's on the good Russian shit that's my guess right he's probably on some that'll make a

he's on he's on something he's on something where they're like do not have to go out in sunlight for two weeks after taking this some bear steroids the ship they used to make bears big barroids yeah they would they'd be like you know so what'll happen if I go out in the sun batter's too skinny it's not that someone thought that Jason it's that someone thought that and someone agreed that someone was like yes yes we will do something about she no one skinny bear she wants big bear she loves a boy

it's a big fat bear ideal man big fat friendly bear who sleeps much and eats yes and urns make sure it puts earner in there the steroid will make you good earner and family man yeah that's the one thing will stop you from turning into bear

corona beer must be taken every times a day It will prevent all hair from growing on your body, but you will have the strength of a bear and the driving ability of a bear. I'll have the height of a bear. No. I'm definitely taller than a bear.

Once you control camera, once you are director, you will be taller. Somehow. I want the fast. Also, the rock will shrink. It's magic. I want the fast universe to incorporate somebody like Rob Delaney. I want them to do the thing from Deadpool where they just take a normal guy and make him part of the team, right?

Like outrageously normal. It'll be Kendall Roy. That's who it's going to be. I love that the most normal guy they have is ludicrous. Like, he is the guy who fits in that role here. Yeah, I think that's true. Can't wait for Kendall to come in and disrupt family. that is my and I apologize for anybody who is behind on the show at this point but the LA Times has already spoiled it so fuck it we can too

um I think the most satisfying end to succession would be if we do like a fast style end of the show where you go back to the plane where Logan died and it's revealed that Jason Statham was the pilot the whole time and it's like holding a little poison file or some shit And it's like, yep, that's right. It was Shaw all along. I think Fast should go back to the very beginning. And it was like, is there an action star who hasn't been in it, like a current action star? Well, they're going to do like fucking the DVD players that we stole were Chris Pratt all along. Yes, right. That's what they're going to do.

Do you think, do you think Don Torretto ever sits down and is like, man, shit has really fucking spiraled for us, you guys? Just have like an auto body shop and occasionally steal from Best Buy. Why didn't we see so many fucking VCRs that we're in space? Maybe we need to think about our actions. Yeah. Like maybe we have bitten off more than we can. I died and came back to life, you guys. This family needs to go to therapy.

We made like fucking $500 off PS-1s and then a submarine was chasing us. this is where Don Bell the founder of Taco Bell and the center of American society as we know it needs to come to Dom and say listen we told you to live Moss we did not mean we did not mean this

this is too Maas too too furious God yes that's a tattoo that's a tattoo I'll get it if you get it I'm in done brother no let's go where do you want to get it let's see next week

Let's go. This is what we're going to do. We're going to paint some Warhammer models and we'll go get this tattoo. Yeah. At the same time. We're going to do that. Yeah. Brain done.

Yeah, this is not, by the way, if there was one guy that we could just sort of put at the center of American society and enshrine in a single figure, it would be the fictional man, Don Bell, that I just made up, the founder of Taco Bell. But you know what? You sold it hard enough. I was like, obviously the founder of Taco Bell is not named Don Bell. But I wanted to believe it. went with it. No, but his son

who took over the company is in fact Don Bell. That's right. That's right. Taco Bell was founded by Glenn Bell. Like, I'm reading from Wiki right now. Glenn? Really? Okay. Yeah. Spencer was right. The thing I made up

wasn't as dumb as reality. Glenn Bell. He never told the joke. Dude. Yo, his parents, his parents were Swedish and German from Iowa. Oh, my God. Yes. And you know what he thought?

You know what he thought? He thought, all this corn and not a single taco in this place. Fuck that. No more. This ends today. I will create the Taco Bell. No one, no one anywhere near me is living moss. Why are you all living somenos?