Shutdown Fullcast - Nick Saban & Ole Miss are pissed - Week 14, Reviewed

Episode Date: December 2, 2019

This episode contains discussion of many important games and coaching changes around the sport of college football, but let us be perfectly clear: the only actually important part of this show is our demand that Mizzou hire Coach Brick. Coach Brick is the way of the future for Mizzou football. Any option that is not Coach Brick is a terrible plan. Learn more about your ad choices. Visit megaphone.fm/adchoices Learn more about your ad choices. Visit podcastchoices.com/adchoices

Welcome, welcome. Welcome. Welcome. Welcome. Welcome to the shutdown forecast. An emotional shutdown forecast. One of a despair carried lightly and yet heavily at the same time across the moors of Old England. That is the

cure variation of the shutdown forecast theme. That was sent to us by listener Corey. Thank you very much, Corey. If you have a sound cloud, let us know. We'll drop a link to it in these tweets. And thank you for injuring us

this week because we are the cure for the common podcast. Wow. College football's only podcast, the brainchild of I don't know, several people who have to combine to have a brain at

Banner Society.com. We worked at Bairnard Society, but this show is y'all's fault. All of yours fault. No, I mean you and Jason, not the audience. It's true. Although, consider this. We spend the better part 11 months

conspiring, cooking up things that we don't think can happen in college football and then rivalry week comes along and they all come true.

And we did that, Jason. I feel pretty good saying that. Yeah, I think it was a couple months ago when the college football producer came to us and said,

hey, fellas, we need a script, you know, and we need, we sat down we said okay so we have a few ideas for the iron bowl um like we'll just you know obviously we don't have to do all of these but like let's say uh bama doesn't just miss a field goal like we've seen that a billion time yeah let's have bama like doink a field goal and like a late one you know like very very critical crucial um we've seen bama throw a pick six before let's let's do like two of them and like one in the end zone off like the butt of

of Bama's best player for a hundred yards. What if we did that? Yeah. Yeah. Let's also have that be like the third most embarrassing thing that happens during that game. Yeah. And then like, and then like toward the end, let's have the greatest college football

coach for all time, like forget how to count, you know, maybe, and be outwitted by a high school guy. And we went to the producer. We're like, okay, so like, which of these ideas do you? like, because, you know, we'll write that one. And he looked at us and he said, give me all of them. He said, you're crazy.

We said, my God. Turn this into the fans service portion of how they're all endgame, right? Like, yeah, Cath was going to pick up the hammer. And then Nick Seaman's going to do all the mistakes in one game. This is the Iron Bowl written

by Reddit. This is also, this was the Egg Bowl written by Reddit? The Eggball written by, yeah, a specific subreddit. One of the ones you want to avoid generally. You can't check at work, right? One of the ones they're like, yeah, we had to come back with a name that was spelled with an E on the end or like a slightly different spelling because they banned us the first

time. Yeah, this is the egg ball written by a Discord, and I know what diss rhymes with. Are you, are you, are you, are you over 8? team? Are you sure you want to proceed to R-EG-Bull? Everything. Everything this rivalry weekend was a more extreme and or comprehensive version

of a thing that we previously thought was the most extreme version. Good job, college football. Like, hey, Pat's on the back all around. I raise a leg to you. Forever week is wonderful. I mean, even if you, if you get exactly what you expected, Michigan, Washington State,

or you get the thing you've hoped for forever, Virginia. Auburn, kind of. Oklahoma? Oklahoma, even if you get your locked-in birthright yet again. Yeah, remember, Bedlam, anything can happen. And it does. Over and over. Over and over.

Same thing. Over and over. again i i want to go ahead and address any further podcast business that we have i don't know if i feel like i can sing a little like how about the injury version of podcast business because it is black friday weekend that sounds like a second line for no business Sub that capitalist Tiger Dix Respectfully Because it's the injury variation

Yeah, you don't want to hurt it You want to cradle it You want to cradle it and be respectful to the troops And to the injured people on the field Like you're putting it on a gurney As the protagonist of the crossbow story said my dick was on its deathbed you're putting it in an aircast

I want to call me bubble boy we want to thank everybody who supported our sponsors and by sponsors we primarily mean home field apparel it turns out that if you send them something and they're your sponsor and you say hey well you put this idiot drawing on a shirt

they say sure yeah or if you send them a really nice drawing because a lot of our designs are done by Ryan. You'll notice Ryan's not here tonight. He is double-booked. He's helping PAPN tonight, who they have some things to discuss. The entire P-A-Pen, the minute that Matt Luke at Old Miss got fired, just went on, you know, a DefCon alert level previously unseen.

All right, I shouldn't say previously. The last time we saw it was when Hugh Freeze left his job. two years ago and old miss switched jobs again and switch coaches that is where ryan is ryan i'm not going to miss calling him lat nuke i can't believe they're going to have to hire somebody who has three biblical names to make him unfairable right matt elijah luke as our front action as our front action clip said well they got to go after john mart yeah john mart matt luke i think you go get first second and third john oh my god he's going to go become a detective Matt Luke

Solent geriatric crimes for Christ How many He's better at that than he wasn't the other thing What's your record in court? Ah, you know, little under half of my cases I went Around that But it's not fair

Because I don't get to use I don't get to use everything Because I've been sanctioned That is That is where Ryan is Ryan is actually also Too good at graphic design anymore to plead amateurish ignorance about some of his designs.

That's because they're good. I sort of think Brian should just become a graphic designer at one point in his life because he's actually quite good at it. And it is his passion. So thank you to everybody who did that because I think you terrified home field. I think that they have to hire new people. I think that they are now, I'm going to put them as the third largest apparel producer in Indiana. Yeah, the last time I talked to, the last time I talked to our buddy,

Connor over at homefield I said how's it going and he just laughed weekly so good job y'all you did it who's the largest apparel company in indiana i thought about this heavily one the person who makes jim ursay's evening shirts i'm going to throw in a vote for whoever makes a drum core uniforms yeah that's the other one band uniforms is it like um whoever makes indiana pacer's shorts that they wear in like 35 degree weather well they're not even really shorts though right They're so long extended like, I wear shorts when it's 40 degrees outside. They're down to your ankles. And like I would imagine that Indiana is a good 20 years behind.

So like big shorts are still cool. Big shorts are the coolest, man. Do you know how many jewels you can keep in like the big shorts? Yes. Yeah, I do. Yeah, I do. I live in Kennesaw. We know these things.

The, uh, Jason, what else you got in podcast business before we sail on into Ravelry week? Well, generally, in terms of promo's own material, I did a blog this past week that was very fun, very fun and enjoyable to work on and create every, not every, but every division one rivalry trophy that I've been able to track down as cataloged, sorted, valued by a knockoff fallout RPG merchant, it was a fun blog post. Also, I just wanted to note that among other things that we will be updating at the end of the season, a couple by me are the ones that we take the preseason AP rankings and find the most overrated and underrated team from each season ever this year.

Texas, you're in really good shape to appear on one of those lists. I'm going to let you guess which one. and Baylor is probably your favorite for most underrated team of the year. We'll see how they finish out, but just wanted to check in on those real quick. Yeah, where's Texas A&M in that? Well, I mean, they're a tricky one because in the AP poll, they were definitely overrated. They were not more overrated than Texas because their schedule was so much harder. Texas did not have to play Bama, Clemson, so on and so forth.

And it turned out pretty overrated, but it was weird because Vegas nailed them just fine. And most smart Aggie fans online knew this was not going to go great. But the AP poll for some reason was very high on them. Yeah, Jimbo was probably right, right? He was with the money in Vegas. He's like, talk to me, big pile of money. Talk to me. Jimbo was right because Jimbo made $7.5 million.

That's right. Oh, hello. I would like to break in at this point and deliver some math that was performed last night in our, sorry, Saturday night. In our Banner Society Open Slack, we were discussing the amounts of money that were being made by Jim Bo Fisher based off of a tweet that had tried to work out based on the yards that Texas A&M was gaining last night how much Jimbo was making per yard of those tiny little sharings. And I'm just going to pull out some of my favorite bits. The original tweet was from user tribe of badgers and informed us that Jimbo is getting $625,000 per regular season game on his contract.

At the moment, A&M has night. this was big game. A&M has 19 yards, meaning he's getting paid $32,894 per yard tonight. And then our friends in the Banner Society Open Slack were kind enough to tell us that a barrel of oil currently costs about $55. So that's roughly 600 barrels of oil per yard or a Ford F-150 XLT per yard if you're a Ford kind of thing. This is also the income of three poverty-stricken individuals in the United States poverty thresholds are updated every year by the Census Bureau in 2015 in the U.S. The poverty threshold for a single person under 65 was an annual income of U.S. $11,770. So Jimbo made three of those people's livelihoods per yard. Also, at 2000 a pop, you could get 16 American Kennel Club Championship Rough Collie Puppies.

per yard. You could also get a world's most expensive dessert per yard. That's that creme brule that's sprinkled with gold and still have plenty left over to leave a $7,000 tip. When Texas A&M advanced to 36 total yards, that money dropped to $17,361 per yard. Spencer, do you want to go ahead and look up where they ended up. And at that point, Jimbo could have bought over 60 of those Neiman Marcus gold penguin decanters that everybody likes to yell at in the most expensive gift guides. A couple more yards, and he was able to get himself a whole waggy cow per yard, or

my favorite from the Twitter user Brian, IRM, one pregnant, dromedary camel per yard. Turns out those go for about 15 grand. So what you're saying is that Jimbo Fisher is... I'm saying Jimbo's rich. That's all I'm saying. Also that Jimbo Fisher has now created basically a new economic indicator in the King Ranch Index, right? Mm-hmm. The F-150 King Ranch Index, which is converting your salary and overall economic well-being into units of truck.

Yes. Yeah. Which is something I think that, you know, Jimbo would understand because I'm sure he does that too. He's like, I don't know. How much I got to pay? How much I got to pay them this month? How many? Is that?

Oh, that's like 8.5 King Ranches. Okay. King's Ranch. I'm sorry, King's Ranch. Jason, we did talk about an Iron Bowl that I really want to call either Iron Bowl endgame, right? Or Iron Bowl, like Mecca Iron Bowl, like the Iron Bowl. The Iron Bowl. The Irony Bowl.

Oh, I'm sorry. We already had a suggestion via Twitter for the honky tongue, the donka doink. Oh, we're naming this game. We're naming the 2019 Iron Bowl. Yeah, that was just the highlight of the many wonderful suggestions that I saw rolling in via Twitter user, Krampe Bailey. Thank you, Graham.

I was going to suggest seeing the way it ended with too many, Bama guys on the field Nick Saban's very mad about it we could just call it 12 angry men I like that we had a kick six we could call this the the pick 12

pick any 12 guys and send them all out all out there at once yeah leave the 12 man to Texas A&M Bama yeah they're going to sue you yeah I call it the fakers doesn't call it Nick 12

I love that Bama which has I'll call it the 12 sorry the 12 what I was going to say the 12 players of Nick Snit Dang

sorry that was a snit everybody saw that was as snitty as I've seen him like it's been a while since I've seen him turn that color that makes me fear for a circulatory system i haven't seen him turn that color since furor was in the league

yeah i mean i there is a shade he turns sorry since he freeze was in the league the last time maybe chad kelly might have made him make that face twice twice everyone saw yeah i haven't seen nick that mad in a real real long time like the kind of like a cardiologist gets excited when he sees somebody that color because he's thinking, ah, that's big money right there. That's a blockage. It's very funny to me that Alabama, which is so bad at counting, as far, you know, they have multiple fraudulent, made-up, fabricated, invented fictional national title claims that are on the books. And here they are missing out on another one because they can't count.

It's pretty good. that's just pretty good stuff I I there is a phrase that Nick Saban used in the postseason in the post break game presser which was that he thought the final play was unfair that it was I'm sorry I guess I was just you know it we were raised in different areas

and I guess that I was just raised to believe in personal responsibility in a way that coach Saban was not difficult boomer Typical boomer Just expecting life to be fair It is typical of his generation A generation that had Everything handed to them

By the virtue of large government organizations Set up to prop up people just like them That's how you get this kind of entitled Me First culture You know expecting things to go your way Snowflake behavior Seeing a punner at Whiteout Not being able to process what's happening

I do want to point out, though, that at the end of the game, Auburn's wide receiving core was so banged up going into the game and an even worse shape after said game, that seeing the punter at wide receiver, it might have been, you know, like it might have been part of not a plan, but it could have been out of sheer necessity. Oh, like, yeah, like Bama looks over like, oh, they got a little white guy number 90 out there.

I guess that's, I guess he's next fan up. Yeah. I mean, what does Gus Malzahn know about passing, right? That's probably what they thought. Yeah. They just thought, no, I don't know, he doesn't. I'm sure that they said, no, he's probably trying some high school bullshit. And then they said, oh, fuck, he's doing some high school bullshit.

I loved in, Alex Kirchner wrote, like, the definitive article on this. He got it up at 12.30 a.m. Eastern, of course, because he's Alex Kirchner. And my favorite thing is, as we were going through this last night, like, we came to a moment we realized what Sabin wanted was for like Sabin wants a rule that when the punter comes onto the field he has to be carrying a sign that says I am the punter and I plan to punt like that's discriminatory to think that a punter can't do anything but punts like what if the punter wants to play wide receiver can he not ever do that in Nick Sabin's world that's just unfair and it's not right to pigeonhole people like that and not for nothing but y'all got 48 GA's

you can't have one looking out for an R-I special teamer? Well, now they got 49 GA's because there's one guy who's just going to look at the other team's punter for four hours. I've hired you to just stare at the punter. Whoever this is will be the head coach at Tennessee in 2022. Matt Luke, your new job is staring at punters for four hours a week. On it, coach. You'll be fine.

Even Sart could do this one. Ten hut, yes, sir. The high school bullshit. label and comparison is so fitting because it was like Nick Saban was exposed to high school math and said, oh God, this is some high school math. Wait, I forgot how to do high school math. It's like if you tried to take the SAT now. Gus hit him with that common core. He just, he hits a basic trig on on there. You know, I guess, I guess coach Saban doesn't know how to do squares and triangles and shit. Yeah. Wait a second. What does tan mean? What does cost? Oh, no.

I had a test. From in Arkansas, the letter C is a number. I guess Nick didn't know about that. That's a pretty good mouse on. I like that very much. That and this. I also knew that the game was over the minute that Auburn got a second back on the clock. Oh, no. Oh, yeah, yeah. Oh, yeah. Done. And save it was having a fit. it and when Anders Why? Weird. And when Anders Carlson

hit a 52-yarder with one second left. This is, by the way, Anders Carlson, who during the old Miss game, couldn't hit the broad side of a barn and was missing layup field goals, he strolls into the Iron Bowl and goes four for

four from Jupiter. He's going Phil Mickelson. Bombs. Bombs. Bombs. All day. The plan is bombs. Just me. I would like to propose that Gus has been taking him just for this express. I love it. Yes, I love it.

Because I, you know, this, I mean, in order to, anyway, this will come back around anyway, the notion of coaches keeping all season just to make other coaches actually insane. Okay, Andres, I want you to go out there and kick it at a 45 degree angle. It'll pay off later. I want to go to coach. You got to wear the special weird shoe. Yeah, that shoe waste. of 15 pounds.

He got to wear an elf shoe. An elf shoe, yeah. He had him kick with like a 40-pound shoe all season, just so that when it came to the Iron Bowl, he could hit a 40-yarder like it was a 20-yarder, right? Like, coach, this is amazing. I'm limitless. Now, in this, a little too poetic field goal,

did Bama have a guy back standing under the end zone? I forgot to look. I do not believe they did know. What a failure. Attention to detail, Nick. God damn it. I bet Nick thinks that's also unfair, unsporting in high school bullshit, right? Why would you do that?

I don't really want to think about what happens if that kick falls short. Also, Nick Saban has a learning disability, but only when it comes to special teams. It's great. Maybe so, yeah. I'm convinced he does not understand it. Like, this is the one thing. The man understands the minutia of football to a decree that maybe only two or three other people on the planet do. And yet there is a hole in his brain where field goal kicking and special team should be.

I think we were saying this just, I think we're saying it was just last week, or it could have been on one of the disaster episodes. The many disaster episodes that I was replaying, they're now available on Spotify via our disaster episodes only playlist. But the thing that tickles me the absolute most about how much this keeps happening is that it's one single element of his game that he's missing. it's the most replicable element of the game and you should be able to do it over and over again

and more than any other part of this incredibly complex convoluted game expect the same results and they can't and that's beautiful he is a superhero right and this goes for Alabama the team bolded in his image as well that he is a superhero who does not file his taxes and cannot remember to right just like yeah I'm Superman yeah I do stuff I can fly

basically like like swole Jesus but man I'm in trouble with the I like Batman pays taxes Lego Batman is on the record is not paying taxes Batman pays zero dollars in taxes we all know this remember Batman's kryptonite is the IRS that man's money's all offshore I love that the only difference between Nick Sabin and Bill Pelichick is that like like they you know they could sit down to talk about some extremely minute detail of a cornerbacks foot movement for like eight hours and then belichick says something about punters and nick says bill what the fuck is that you know and belichick's like oh i have 18 000 theories about punt angles and you know i hire left-footed punters because it comes down 1% weird you know and like nick's just like i don't i don't know

what you're talking about bill yeah belichick's like well i'm gonna tell you about dutch radley great punter slash accountant for the 1938 wilmington giants he's an outstanding player I know because I murdered him. His life ended in my hands, as all great players do. This is when Nick perks back up. You lost him with the punch shit, but now you're talking murder. Murder? Just Nick Saban traveling across Arkansas this summer

trying to bomb Gus Melzahn's car and failing over and over and over again. Don't act like that's not going to happen. Yeah. Yeah. Hey, you know that Gene Hackman-Denzell Washington movie about boats? Can you be more specific? Well, I thought the Crimson Tide are supposed to be good at subs. Huh? Woo!

Huh? Woo! I did enjoy the meme that Jonathan Martin of the New York Times shared that was the lady yelling at the cat, and the lady saying, we didn't have Tua! And the cat going, well, yeah, you did. two of many men on the field. That's the best like Cracker Barrel Country

Whiplash joke. This man makes assholes of all of us and I love it. Oh God. Play every Iron Bowl in Jordan Hair. All of them. That's a great idea. Every last one of them. Only if we remember that every time people get stuck in the hedges it has happened before. I was the only person online who was irritated by this,

But y'all, it's only funnier if we remember that it keeps happening. Every time it happens, it's funny. But let the humor multiply by remembering it has happened before. The Lady of the Hedges, they say you can hear her on a quiet night, stuck in the bushes forever. Her love gone cold in the middle of the night, Lady of the Hedges. Kaylee, Beth, get over here. I don't turn my ankle. I love that every two years we send another search party in to try to drag people out.

Try to drag somebody's aunt Patsy at the bushes. Well, I guess we'll try again in two years. Send some of those Auburn dogs in. No, too valuable. Too valuable. A bird in. Yeah. Send, why don't you go, why don't you just go ahead and send Gus in there?

It's all right. It's a fire Gus week. Send him in. I think the, the, the, I joke that her name was Kaylee. No, she's a little. old for it, Kaylee. No, she's on Twitter and she has a video from her perspective of her

going into. I thought that was the daughter. No, that's, no, that's her name, actually, I joke that her name was Kaylee, this young woman caught jumping into the bushes. By the way, what's her actual name? Haley. What the fuck? Yeah, her name's Haley.

And she is okay. She is okay. Now, if you saw her, if you saw her dive into bushes, as if she were jumping into water off a pontoon there are a couple of things that happened to her one she realizes that bushes are not in fact just soft they're kind of mostly empty space filled with harsh twigs and pointy sticky leaves right also thing you got to remember is that those particular bushes have been through a lot and they're not here to put up with

your shit yeah the third thing is when she dives off of the edge of the wall between the stands and the field. I think she's realizing that this might be a move that when you were 11 years old was done effortlessly and that when you are anywhere over 20 years old, gravity takes a little different tack.

It's a little harder. Jumping's a little harder on your body because there's a kind of crumpling effect when she hits. And yeah, Jason, people go into the bushes all the time and they get stuck in the hedges, right? and that makes it funnier when you remember it. This one, though,

the person filming this on their phone and zooms in on her trapped face for a second, so you see her like Homer Simpson stuck in the bushes. It's been a minute since we've had a real good human condition. Like, there it is. And the video from her perspective, you can just hear her going,

hey! Hey! Get me out of here! She kind of sounds like Toad in Super Mario. Hey! If you come to these bushes, I'll give you a Tanuki suit. Just water to get another look at you. Yeah, Auburn fans also took souvenirs as if they were playing a road game from their home hedges, which I love that.

Like, hey, I'm not even going to ask, because, you know, it's my house, right? Your house? your house is my house so i'm just going to have a beer i'm going to take what i've seen it was this this this this this twig was in alabama and fuck you alabama that's right i hate that place yeah where do you live albara albara that's different it's it's it's it's a self-governing province it's like sparta with a loz it's a separate city state Opaleka does sound like some place that was demolished on the way to the Battle of Thermopolis. It sounds kind of great, doesn't it, right?

Barners! What is your profession? Fucking things up! Fires, Erxes! Also, I do excellent civil engineering work, if you need help with that. I'm also very well trained in that. But, yeah, I'm also here to just mess things up. Yeah, the Greeks have some fucked up religions, too. Except the whole this is Sparta.

thing. Hey, let's go run around in our drawers and sink some boats. Hey, Pat Dye lost a pair of pants in the lake. You know why? He was pushed into it by troops, by the Persians. He's fighting Xerxes. He's fighting Xerxes, a guy who he owed money. Xerxes Williams. It's a friend of mine. That is the most Auburn running back name I've ever heard of my wife. Xerxes Williams. Please sign this kid.

Yeah, they flipped him from LSU. late. His middle name would be like doo-doo or something like that. Xerxes Pooh-Poo-Williams. The fourth. The fourth. God.

There are several teams who I've loved this year more than ever before because I think, I don't know. Spiritally, I'm finally on a wavelength where I can really understand what they're about, right? And it's this.

One, I love Auburn because at all points, like I said, sometimes they kick the guy into the well, and sometimes they try to kick the guy into the well and do a flying backflip into the well, right? Usually taking someone else with them, not the person they intended to kick. Either way, it's great for us. It's just, it's, if my actual fortunes as a sports fan relied on a consistent performance from them, I'd throw myself into the nearest wood chipper. However, I've managed to insulate my life from that pretty well at a distance. It's an absolute joy to watch, especially when the primary loser in Auburn's successes is Alabama football.

Yeah. I warm my hands by this crackling fire of ageration. Hey, I will take, I can't take it away from Mack Jones, though. He threw six touchdowns. Saturday night Immaculate All of them Immaculate

Immaculate Two of them went Two of them went for Auburn Yeah But you know The Lord gave us And the Lord take it No I don't listen

Of everything that went wrong Last night And these things They were Mirriot Mac Jones acquitted himself Radha beautifully He did

He made a couple of big mistakes And then it just came right back And I thought played Really really well He just also He decided decided I was going to fall into the spirit of the game, not remembering that when you decided to go full Iron Bowl, sometimes you get a little Auburn in your bloodstream.

And there's not much more Auburn than throw in 100-yard pick six and throw in another one that went straight to an Auburn defender for six points the other way. I love how if this happens to any other team, we say like, okay, well, there's some context here. There's two touchdowns and two field goals that were extremely unsustainable and blah, blah, blah, blah. If it's Bamo, just, fuck you, get your sorry asses out of here. Next. Context. I don't know what that means.

I don't know her. You know, you don't need context, right? I think that's the thing as you go, if Alabama says, well, all the following things happen, which are very, they are the billionaire that you're waiting to catch on the desert island, right? Oh, is it time to talk about Clemson? Is it? Is it time to talk about these online Clemson fans? Is it time to be prayer warriors for Clemson?

Yeah, yeah, because if, speaking of incredibly angry, rich men whining about fairness, let's talk about the saddest and most downtrodden coach in America today. It's not Matt Loop. Nope. It's not Hugh Freeze and whatever. supine position he may be coaching from right now. Boys, it's not even Barry Odom, who apparently managed to game of telephone himself into his own firing.

No, it's Davos Winnie, the coach of the reigning national champs who just completed an undefeated regular season and who haven't lost a game since, if I'm not mistaken, January 1st, 2018? Yeah, nobody who believes in that guy, it turns out. this is not a one best illustrated by in the top whatever newsletter which was very fun another fun thing that was fun to work on Saturday night

Spencer and Alex invented the tiny hater who lives in Dabo's ear who is the source of all this bullshit that comes out of Dabo's mouth he can't help it he's hearing the things that this tiny little little cynic is spewing in his ear about how everyone hates Clemson and Dabo believes it

Dabo's a trusting man and that's how he comes up with all these notions about we're going to drop Clemson and number 20 for beating South Carolina and so forth I mean South Carolina does have an impressive win on its resume doesn't it? It does

yeah South Carolina beat Georgia that's true with their third string quarterback starting in Athens in Athens after after Hollinsky goes out they on the road they're down to their third string starter, and nevertheless, in true

game cock fashion, with the assistance of one of the great game managers of our time, Will Mustchamp, they come back to win over Georgia. Can I talk a little bit about Georgia for a second? Let's put you down for 30 seconds. 30 seconds. I want like 30 seconds after that, because I have a specific

thing I would like to pray. You know what? I'm going to seat my 30 seconds because we're on the same wavelength and you're you're loaded for bear on this. Okay. So this is not General Georgia complaining. So this gets all the time it needs. No. Okay. Terrific. Earmark this. We're going to say something positive about Georgia. Yeah. Okay. So a Georgia player, Spencer, who was it? Pickens, white receiver. Pickens. While in a fight midplay with a Georgia Tech defensive back ended up on national television in front of God and everyone.

dragging this player, like horse collar dragging this player into an end zone wall head first? Is this now a wrestling rivalry? Gentlemen, discuss. Actually, I'm going to think this is an MMA rivalry because the only time I've seen somebody actually grab somebody by the top of the head in real life and then see a wall or other hard object

and throw them into it head first is in Boz Routin's Survival 101 video, fight tactics in a bar. Also, he had to drag in a long way. This was genuinely impressive. He did. So outside of wrestling, where somebody winds up

and leads someone into the steel stairs at the turnbuckle, yeah, this is the closest thing I've ever seen to a real life, Boz Ruden, oh, lookie what I have here, moment. So obviously, as soon as I saw Holly wrote the word rasslin in the notes,

I jotted a few notes, It's about this rivalry that I think support the case. The nickname, of course, clean, old-fashioned hate. That is a really good PPV pay-per-view tagline, preferably if you have a John Cena match, clean, right? Yeah. You have clear characters and distinct styles. You have this cerebral technician nerd from out of town.

Against these five words will not make sense in any other context than when describing the University of Georgia. A dainty country brawler prep slob. that's Georgia. No, that makes sense, other than it's Georgia. In the history books, you have an old work or shoot type situation. No one knows whether it's real or not, because to this day, they don't agree on how to count their games during the World Wars.

There was a late 90s screw job a la Brett Hart with the Jasper Sanks fumble. There was that time Georgia Tech hit a Kendo stick under the mat for the entire season by arresting their starters just so they could hit an undefeated Georgia across the back. That happened. Reggie Ball's constant heel turns against his own tag team. Of course, Tech spends all its time on its cool entrance.

It's got a car. Georgia always wins like the TV matches, you know, like the regular Tuesday night matches or whatever, but Georgia's never, you know, wins the big pay-per-views. Tech has actually had a title reign in my lifetime. And, of course, Paul Johnson a few times hit the dogs with that. Scott Steiner triple option triple threat match.

Math. You got like a 75 and a third chance to beat Paul Johnson, dogs. Yeah. Remember, Scott Steiner also owns a Shoney's in Cobb County. He owns several. Yeah, he's a Shoney's magnate. His brother is on the school board. And of course, Rick's son is one of the leaders of the Kennesaw.

State Owls. Now the winningest five-year debut program in the history of college football, might I add. Oh, go on. Who to who? How about that? Alabama, of course, only won seven games in its first five years. Pathetic. Lackards. Do it for the plank. The other thing from, by the way, devilby. Are you telling me, Bamma has a history of just not wanting it enough? Hmm. I don't know. Probably. Can't imagine it. If you're team had two losses this year like you'd be Florida you had two losses the indignity the shame well I mean Spencer you've you've beaten Auburn that is true it's so wild to me we have a transitive victory over Alabama someone floated to me today after someone looked at the

the ball projections page today and said hey is there any case for putting Florida ahead of Bama, and I'm like, well, we have, we have, we have, I don't think it's a good argument, but we have more quality wins. There is a transitive win and yeah. Oh, also, but also by the way, who survived the injury to their starting quarterback and then just kept on coasting and produced the same results? We did.

That's right. The secret Florida security was to not need a quarterback to begin with. Yeah, you know what we needed? we needed somebody who could correctly press the A button. That's what Kyle Chas does. He goes, ah, I see this. Play, quick reaction. Throw there.

I'd love if Rob Mullins comes out in Selection Sunday and says, well, we thought Florida was a better choice for the Orange Bowl because Alabama is a little bit too quarterback dependent. We don't think they're volatile enough on defense. We want somebody's, going to give up 80, 90, 95 years. We do. For entertainment value, you really can't beat giving up 3rd and 24. You can't. And having 12 sacks, right?

That vaunted SEC offenses, y'all. Yeah. The. What a time. I wanted to, I mentioned UVA. That would be team coached by beautiful Bronco Mendenhall. Bronco Mendenhall snapped a losing straight, a real long, A 15-year losing streak for UVA against Virginia Tech. Bryce Perkins played his ass off. Just took the whole ass, wrote his name on it,

deposited it in the bank of fortune, and just saw how far it would carry him. And at the end of the day, I almost had 500 yards of offense by himself, and they beat Virginia Tech. It was a beautiful thing. It was. It still felt dicey going into the last four minutes, but I think UVA fans probably at that point were either believing,

or we're never going to believe. I think there's probably UVA fans who, when this game is played next year, we'll go, oh, no, not again. Right. Yeah, but tell it won last year. Did that happen? No, no.

No, don't look at us. Yeah. I'm ugly. I'm hideous. Keep walking. I don't think they really even still realize what happened. And now, the reward is they get to play Clemson.

But wait, there's more. They get to play Bama. And then they get to open next year against Georgia. Oh, God. And they got to go play Clemson again. Oh, God. I really, really think Virginia should just retire right now. It's not going to get any better.

Just leave with the division belt right now. You know what? This relates to a post that I wrote and that we'll be pushed over the next couple of days, which is what you can do to move rivalry games around, different or alternate ways of scheduling them or playing them. For instance, I think that there is no real need for UVA to play these games, right? Push it. Yeah, just push it, man. Just say, hey, listen, oh, you won next year. And then if at any point Clemson shows up with the truck and everybody in it, you've got to play the game. Just hide. Yeah, you could be.

Yeah, hide under something's sturdy. But, yeah, if they espy you in public. Now, remember, you can hide. You can hide the whole team, right? Like, you can put board, you can nail up boards over the football facility and just chill inside with the lights off, pretending no one's there. But if they come and they find you, you got to play the game. 3 a.m. on a Wednesday?

So football is hide and seek now? That's how we do scheduling. I actually really like this. I think it's more akin to, you know, sometimes legislatures get in epic fights that result in one party just leaving the state and no one knows what's happened. Yeah, this happened in Oregon. This happened in Oregon. Yeah, the Oregon Republican Party just left. All of the legislators just took off to like a huddle house somewhere.

Oh, how terrible. Yes, I know. That's saying, no, you can't have a quorum. We're going to be over here to hotel. Hard to play UVA if UVA is not there. It's true. Yeah. It's real tricky. Virginia Tech's tried. They tried over the past 15 years. But UVA was technically there, right? None of these were forfeits.

They could have been if UVA had only considered my bold and flexible ideas for future scheduling. I think what should happen is that for those games, UVA should follow the seconds rule. It's like a duel. You have a program that is somewhat philosophically in line with your general beliefs and identity that you can tag in for games like this and they collect a paycheck while they also take the beating for you. The Richmond Spiders,

I think that's UVA's backup here. No, Virginia's in a great spot here. You just go get JMU. Well, yeah, but JMU will do better. Well, then you get the win. I mean, it's embarrassing because you needed backup from your little brother, but you get the win.

I don't know if it's more embarrassing than the Richmond Spiders, picking up your slack. I'm going to go with this. Yeah, take JMU. They're like, oh man,

look, that little bulldog mascot's got a Pimp hat on. How bad can he be? Oh, God! Yeah,

I like that second. That's a good one. I don't know who Clemson, Clemson would tagging Furman, right? Clemson's got a lot of options in that state. There's always one of those that's pretty good.

I'm going to go with Furman, right? Not App State, because I think App State's probably a little too independent at this point. Well, I mean, that'll be like UNC's choice or something like that.

Yeah, but I've said it will decline. UNC will go, please come to my law officers and sign this. Right, yeah. Yeah, and App State would be like, hell no, I ain't coming down. Catch me running. I ain't a fan.

Anyone, yeah, yeah, Duke is like, if App State, please sign our contract. Huh? Do what? They ain't doing that shit. But I'm coming straight out of Comptus. You can take that shit to the fancy boys at East Carolina. That's it.

Why don't you go talk to the Western Carolina Catamounts? See how far you get with fat water, son. You take that shit to the fancy school at Wofford. Yeah, the Terriers might do it. The Catamounts work. I don't even know what one of them is. By the way, I did imagine, you know, Olaf the App State mascot, you know,

rapping straight out of Compton. Yosef? Yosef, that's it, yeah. Yeah, if you can get Yosef rapping straight out of Compton for me, please do. Because I think that's the last rap record, Yosef bought. Right. This tape's amazing. I don't need a new one.

I don't even listen. I just stop it gangster, gangsta, gangston. Start over. It's amazing. So it's like our own version of Pete Seeger. Yeah, that's interesting. Just marinating out into other genres. Yeah, just Pete Seeger, but really awesome.

Yosef hears fuck the police and he's just immediately. immediately. Yes, I'm on board with this. These guys hate the government, just like me. I do imagine that moment in human history where some absolute anti-authoritarian hilljack is like, I hate the rap and he rap. What's it? What's on this tape anyway? He presses play and it's fuck the police. And he's like, I got to reconsider everything, don't I?

I take that back. These boys are on to something. Dr. Grave, you tell me your thoughts on revenues? I usually don't trust men of science and diplomas, but Dr. Drey, tell me. Life has been hard for him. Why does he call himself easy-e? That gives me a segue to something Jason pointed out to me. Jason, App State.

App State's currently ranked higher than what team? I pointed this out. Yeah, you did, you did. We've said a lot of things this weekend. I haven't looked at the rankings. The AP rankings, that we're talking about? Yeah, App State's higher than Michigan. Okay.

5-1. 5-1. That's our line is. Is this the coaches' poll? I believe so. Let's see here. But yeah, I believe App State is higher up than Michigan in the rankings. I don't know.

They're behind in both the AP and the coaches. In my personal poll, the one in my heart, Appalachian. State is ahead of Michigan. Well, yeah. No quarrel there. Which gives me a segue to Jim Harbaugh asked after the game in a, a game that they lost 5627, somebody asked about a talent gap. And Jim Harbaugh said he was not going to take any insults.

Somebody was pointing out that they've lost the last two games by getting doubled up. humiliated and not really belonging on the same field with Ohio State. He would take questions, but he would not take insults in the form of a question. Well, yeah. Yeah, on the same weekend as Mike Leach responded to a question about, why can't you beat Washington by saying they have too many good players, basically. You know, he was saying, oh, you guys say they have top 10 recruiting classes. So that's why we can't do it.

He should be getting pretty used to have him to answer for Apple Cup victories. So you'd think he would be better at it by now. Well, seven in a row. Something like that. A seven, yeah. I was thinking that these two very angry rich guys should take lessons on tranquility and that as the path to success from serene and gentlemen who broke losing street. weeks such as the calm-minded ed ogeron and the the the the civil bronco mendon hall yeah results speak for

themselves yeah i mean the the power of of calm tranquil positivity is what powered coacho and bronco mendon hall bronco mendon hall who radiates great peace and calm at all times who absolutely did not coach the biggest series of nut and punchers at a religious school. You know, yeah, you know it'll really sort of let some steam off and keep you on an even keel, punching someone in the nuts every time you play football. Try it. Yeah. Works for Bronco Mendonald, man.

His teams do not, his teams do not leave the field without reminding everyone of the eight different varieties of getting punched in the nuts. The straight on, the nuts. nudge, the bump, and then the second shocker, yeah, the entire taxonomy of nut punches, including the full uppercut to both the balls and the dick, yeah. Wow. Franco Mendenhull teaches it like, I have him teaching it like, like it's, you know, Kingsman, right? A Kingsman knows every single punch to the scrotum, all 23 of them as identified by our forebears and predecessors in said service.

this is like day one install right yeah day one install oh yeah bronco mendole's manual of nut punches right this one just goes one goes for the left most people think you're trying to get both of them but we want them to know we're coming from every angle they're going to have to cover all of them this is why he still has an overhead projector because he's he's never put this book online for fear of having his methods stolen they'll be virginia tech like three or four years in a row now and at the end of the fourth year Justin Fuente will say, I just can't tell you how much my balls hurt. I don't even play.

But my balls hurt from my boys out there because they've been punched in their boys for four years straight by UPA. Or Ed Ogeron. I really enjoy Ed Ogeron as some sort of Zen priest, as someone of great spiritual calm. Yeah. Yeah. And he does live next to a river.

You got to listen to a flow. Yeah, yeah. some some uh some uh some surepas atop the the hill of serenity are loud if they're the ones who start avalanches when they're clapping pound me out our tax can we circle back to the egg bowl real quick oh please at any time yes after all an egg is an ellipse So I wanted to mention how

So a guy pretended to pee And that cost Ole Miss the game That alone is hilarious But it had even more serious ramifications than that I mean for one Matt Luke is gone And do we really think Before that

Do we really think that if Matt Luke had won the Egg Bowl And knocked Mississippi State out of a bowl game That they would have fired him Three days later, the other coaching ramification is Joe Moorhead is not gone. And coincidentally, a day or two later, Rutgers finally hires a coach. And I love that Steve Robertson, the tweet Mississippi State Administration is pleased at the level of effort by coaches and players in the win over Ole Miss. What a way to put it.

I mean, sure, they tried hard to hand the victory to Mississippi State, as did Ole Miss. um old miss an old miss guy pretending to pee on mississippi state's field made old miss six figures in cc bowl payout money which they can because mississippi state is going to a bowl um and a 14th of that money will go to old miss old miss can now use that money to pay a small part of matt luke's massive buyout uh we also have joe moorhead is going to get something like a seventy five thousand dollar bowl bonus all because a guy pretended to pee the story coming in was whether Ole Miss with a win

could possibly make a bowl due to having a really good APR score which I love like Ole Miss is going to make it because they're so smart and then classic old miss branding there they demonstrated a higher level of intelligence

at the end of the game the moment after the game did you see Joe Moorhead's press conference when he has the egg bowl okay, there's video of this. Joe Moorhead has the Egg Bowl trophy on the desk and he has kicked back in his chair and I don't remember if his feet were on the table in the video

but it felt like the feet of his attitude were on the table, right? He's laying back, he's feeling very good about himself despite the fact that they were immensely disappointing at times this year and had a 6 and 6th record to finish and become just barely bowl eligible. Joe Moorhead, after all of this, after a game where his team needed absolutely required Old Miss to do something both flagrantly stupid and absolutely brilliant in order for Mississippi State to pull this game out, a reporter asked him a question from the side of the room between

him and the trophy, and he goes, yeah, you'll have to speak up, I can't see you over this trophy and he sticks his head up like looking over it like the money too tall. I can't see over this egg bowl trophy. You'll have to speak up because I have a great brass egg between me and you. It is

quite an obstruction. That's probably the nicest thing I can say about its design. It can really get in the way. So it sounds like the lesson that we're taking from this. Be careful where and when you choose to mine a bathroom break, a bathroom break, because that leg lifting was as the wings of a butterfly

flapping and altering events around the globe. The wings of a great Jowley butterfly named bully. Bulletfly. What do we do? We put butterfly wings on a bulldog. That's the most beautiful thing I've ever heard of. Like the wings of a land shark. Yeah.

I love this game so much, please. I mean, there's really only two, there's really only one thing that I think could really save us from the future derangement of egg bowls. They should have destroyed the trophy when they won it. Yeah. Right? Like, burning.

It's too powerful. That is. Yeah, just like with rocks. Not with any proper implements, right? No. They're not melting it. No, man. They've got to take it up and cast it into a volcano somewhere.

Yeah. I love the idea, like, they don't involve fire at all. They just start punching it. Yeah. Just crush it. Sand this. Nobody enjoys this. Everyone hates it.

It benefits no one. This idolatry has cost us our soul. I think we should cancel every other game. Just do this every Thanksgiving, and that is football. this just fine this egg bowl clock expires mississippi state retains title two players grab it sprint to the end zone right um hand it to somebody on a cart they take that cart up the hill immediately loaded onto a rocket poised gassed up and hissing at the top of the hill overlooking the stadium and that bitch blasts off to jupiter right which point by the way once the uh once the latches

seal shut on the rocket, it becomes legal to attempt to shoot the rocket. We just created the Thanksgiving biathlon. Hail! And then 12 months later on Thanksgiving morning, look up in the sky, what do you see?

Jupiter rejected the egg ball trophy. It's coming ardling back towards us. Slash time. Well, let's suit up. We got to play football game to see he's getting rid of this thing again. Let's of Saturn wants it.

It's Farmageddon. No, for real, it's Farmageddon. Things are going to kill us. It's heading us. We put it up there. Arm-Aggen. Arm-A-G-N.

The other thing about the other thing about rivalry games this weekend, I... Matt Luke got fired. Matt Luke got fired. So a guy I got pretended

didn't even really pee and Matt Luke got fired. Imagine if he actually peed. Oh, yeah. They'd fire Matt Luke on the spot. I think maybe if he'd actually peed, though, you could do that all the time, right? Like if he had just sat in the end zone and peed himself,

people would go... I got a condition. Yeah, maybe he's just got a small bladder. Alex made this argument in the newsletter and especially you had a counter, but yeah, I guess I see it both ways, and I think we'll need to try it in next year's Egg Bowl to find out for sure.

Yeah, it's the only way to know. But, you know, it's not an unsportsman, like, conduct penalty to shit yourself. Right. It's not, you know. Almost does that all the time. Yeah, like Elijah could have sat there and after scoring, paused, made the grumpy face and actually, you know, filled his drawers in the end zone. Where's this going?

And it wouldn't have gotten 15 yards, right? Everyone would have just said, oh, that's disgusting. Oh, he had too much turkey. Yeah. He makes like the satisfied farting baby face. and the rest are just like, oh, that's cute. It's called the egg bowl, not the egg bowel, guys. Keep it moving.

Now I have the most dominant move in any rivalry to come, right? Somebody's like, hold on, what are you doing? I'm pooping the end zone. No, no, don't drop your pants. I ain't dropping them. We just got people to stop putting their ashes here. Man, God. You have sanitized.

Please go shit on Ole Misses Field next Thanksgiving. This is, by the way, what we do is that, that the, iron bowl and, you know, four years from now, when Sabin and Malzon are still somehow playing each other, I thought it was very unfair of him to send out the punter with the poopy pants. The great thing now is that seven can never retire.

I know. Why they put the wide receiver standing next to me with his poopy pants? I thought that was very unfair. I'll show him. I'll have the, I'll have the kicker lead block his defensive tackle. I'll show him. I thought the way he rested his elbow on top

of my head was impertinent. because you're tiny the you said it Spencer Hall said it yeah I do think there's another thing in rivalry weekend that that when you're talking

about want to right there's one team that just wanted it I think a little bit more yeah what the fuck about him what the fuck was that

how about him the fuck you couldn't hear this last time. Woo! No, no, I heard parts of it. It just sounded like Spencer went outside or something. That's right.

56 points. Oh, that ass. I hate you so much. We got theme songs. You ain't a program. You ain't got a theme song. Y'all sing. Sweet Caroline.

That's not even yours. That's the Red Sox. Wrong sport. The Bluffs. you've done this so many times now that the full cat doesn't even move from his spot on the autumn and he just kind of wiggles his ears and disgust so you're saying that he just sits there and does nothing right you know what that reminds me of not the box that's michigan just sad just laying there letting just the fields run jay k dauben his

like three of you, another three of you. He's like nine, nine Wolverines, except y'all, y'all lost. Yeah, I, um, it always hurts after I do that. Good, good. Always. This is like one of my favorite things from Saturday is Justin Fields, an online college student who just got there like four months ago from the noted Columbus, Ohio, stronghold of Kennesaw, Georgia shows up, whoops, Michigan's ass, and declares, I think they just

don't care enough. Like, based in my 60 minutes of my entire life spin around these people, I've concluded they just don't care very much. He's a quick study, because honest, I mean, if they really cared, they'd be better. I guess. I love this because Jim Harbaugh is the man who cares the most. No one cares more about Ohio State, Michigan than Jim Harbaugh. And now he has to care even more because this quarterback who just showed up apparently already cares more than him. Jim Harbaugh is going to actually go insane. He's actually going to lose his mind over this.

I'm really asking, what's that even going to look like? Maybe he takes his pants off instead of his shirt. Yeah, just sat in there in his droopy, tidy, tidy whitey, because he has a droopy, tidy whitey's guy. Sure. I don't think he's bought new drawers since like 1989, probably. He just bought like a thousand of them at once.

Yeah, well, you know, that's... He strikes me as a man who buys his underwear at CVS. I think he just buys pallets and pallets of it. Well, you know, I mean, he really should buy some new underwear. You want to know why? He needs a change! Because he's shadow. whole team

so themselves with the bucks yeah yeah this is why Ohio State hands out gold pants that's that's right I don't

like Ohio State's awesome and I don't even think this is I think the Penn State game is definitely more indicative of what they would do in an actual difficult situation against a team that was close. Right now they're not,

this is not a rivalry where the two teams even take the same field or play the same sport. It's not. Some of those J.K. Dobbins runs were just not, like even Deirdorf and Brands tattered

who we were listening to a play-by-play. They weren't even bitter. They're just like, they're good. Man, these guys are awesome. Look at that. They're like, I know of a kid who locally, like he's a friend of my sons

and he plays on a team with Elton Brand's kid and when Elton Brand's kid starts playing basketball everyone else doesn't even defend him they just kind of run with him going you are so good at this you are awesome can you dunk oh that's beautiful yeah that's what Michigan should just do

they should just enable they should just run with them and go I don't know you guys are you guys are awesome completely awesome just telling everyone like yeah i know ohio state i know him yeah we um we text i mean i text him i like his we're back to the second lion in in the last battle us lions us lions me in ohio state isn't that right spike isn't that right yeah they uh they think about us a lot they even said so yeah it's it's it's cool we hang out um we've hung out for hours before we spend every Thanksgiving together and we have a really good or they have a really good time and we're also

there yeah what really sucks about this by the way is that prior to this game Michigan Michigan had been playing beautifully they've been clean it got a lot better and then they go in with all of the optimism and momentum and rhythm in the world and it just doesn't matter because you know death comes for us all but it comes from Michigan every year on the dot I would rather cue up holly here and talk about something less depressing and something absolutely wonderful because the Kentucky Wildcats did something truly magnificent this weekend. Why don't you pull up the stat lining question while I start to get into the move because folks this year has made profits and fools of us all like each.

college football season does and this will always be the year that a few different things happened that a number of us developed a genuine emotional affection for teams like Indiana that's eight win Indiana eight wind Indiana eight windiana and that at least two of us on this call developed real real and genuine and fairly deep affection for the Kentucky Wildcats football program. We have talked about Lynn Bowden before on this show and what a marvel he is. That's my People's Heisman right there. I know we're not told by the People Heisman trust to make our ballots public,

but he's absolutely mine. And he capped off this season by leading a Kentucky team in a 500-year. yard rushing effort played entirely in a hailstorm of frozen carpet tax did it and also played it's not the wildcat if you run it every down that's your offense it's not the wildcat if you are the wildcats yeah it's not the wildcat if you're kentucky at spencer you want to go ahead and read off the rushing stats for kentucky yeah sure because lid bowden junior had 22 carries for 284 yards that seems like a lot yeah he also had four t ds that's a lot interesting Christopher Rodriguez Jr. had nine carries. He actually averaged more per carry because he had 125 yards in a score

off that. And the only reason this came up was because we were watching people laugh at how Kentucky was three quarters of the way through a game and had attempted one pass. Y'all weren't looking at this game long enough to see the weather. It was raining teeth. It was raining tiny little ice langaliers and everyone looked absolutely miserable and uh you know it's not like louisville is a bad team they actually i think are well ahead of schedule for where anybody had them in scott satterfield's first year they have been at times a joy to watch they also threw the ball 19 times and ran at 51 that's pretty much what you should do in the middle of a monsoon uh that you you know, somebody put in the fridge for a couple hours.

But you know what? Kentucky thought that was a bit rash because Lynn Bowden was the QB. Lynn Bowden passed twice for four yards. And with that, Kentucky still won 4513. Absolutely destroyed them. A work of art by the 7 and 5 Kentucky Wildcats. Lords of the Music City Bowl, take your birthright. go to the shores of the Cumberland

and let Lynn Bowden sanctify the waters of the Cumberland River by jumping into it with the trophy because they're going to beat the crap out of whoever they face the Music City Bowl because that that's their house and they're going to defend it.

What if they have to face your beloved Indiana? They're so good win. Yeah. Yeah. And then they're going to go to like... Then they're going to go to, like, Florida, Georgia lines theme restaurant or something, right? Is that real? It is real.

Fuck. Just like Kid Rock's restaurant and bar is real. I already do about that. That's where both fan bases will go and like, whoo, what am I doing? I like cheek bears and problematic opinions. So that's real and people are still trying to tell us Nashville's better than Memphis. Interesting. Yeah.

Yeah, that's very real. This is damning evidence. Yeah. I can name a number of things that Nashville has, which strictly by measure of them existing makes Memphis the better city. Sure, yeah. I also have this, there's a note in here that says, Mizoo, hire coach brick, you cowards.

Yep. Mizzou's interim coach now is Brick, which I'm not sure if I was on the, episode when this was floated i think it was an iran idea that they make brick haley the interim coach which they did of course because they listen to the program uh but i think now that now that he's got the job why would you not let him keep it his name is coach brick so the choice is simple we build our program brick bob brick i'm the first one we built we put our program brick one higher another one

me coach brick I'd also like at this time to elevate an earlier comment by Jason in our office today that the Mazoo job is probably better than the Arkansas job on account of you get to play Arkansas that's true this came from Bud mentioned that he would probably

take the Mazoo job over the Arkansas job because you don't have to play Bam or LSU and like shit if you're Missou not only all that but you also get to play Arkansas I think also, as soon as you walk in the door, you start doing the, oh, we're going to, you know, tradition this, and I've always loved this university, that, and I love the columns and, you know, putting Zs in words that don't have Zs. And, oh, Jeremy Macklin, I had posters of that guy on my, and all that shit. And then you say, like, the Kansas Jayhawks, we're going to restore that rivalry. We're going to play Kansas.

We're going to play Kansas every year in football. I want to play the Kansas Jayhawks in football as often as possible. Twice a year, four times a year. As soon as I walk in, I'm restoring. Let's just cancel everything else and just do this. We will play Kansas 12 times a year. And that's how Mizzou is going nine and three. I like to put the point about putting Zs in unnecessary things because what I...

Is this going to lead into another Buckeyes musical number? No, I thought we were going to talk Zaxby's again. No, that's natural sponsorship just sitting there, right? Like it's totally waiting there for me. but they don't but i would just do it in order to slip profanities into my press conference without me going to being able to complain right thought we played a real zitty game just pure zidzit uh yeah not your best buddy we'll workshop it just like wazoo football missou football we'll workshop it