Shutdown Fullcast - Normal College Football Podcast feat. Your Nightmares Made Flesh

Episode Date: November 29, 2023

Ryan has some terrible musical news Niche publishing update A LONG-AWAITED ANNOUNCEMENT Coaching carousel and playoff talk! Normal college football podcast! The voices are back. All of them. Yeah, that one too. Sorry Settle your stomachs and let’s take a look at the championships weekend schedule Visit preownedairboats dot com for all your holiday shopping needs Visit SHUT DOWN FULL BOOKS DOT COM  for exclusive literary revelations Learn more about your ad choices. Visit podcastchoices.com/adchoices

One of the things I follow is I follow one of those Second World War tweets, right, in real time. Yeah. And this one is just seemingly random. It's like New Zealand creates an internment camp on Soames Island to hold German nationals, including, and these three words really sort of stop my heart. The head of the Samoan Nazi party. What's the pitch? What's the pitch, fellas? Oh, me.

That's like, is that like a lunch table or? what's how do you intro right like what's your intro let's see i think that's i think that's roman rains that's how do how do you begin oh that's how you get jojo rabbit isn't it the head of the samoan nazi party anytime you're like man i don't know what i think sometimes my whole ethos seems kind of confused you're not the head of the samoan nazi party well whatever it be worse to be the head of the Samoan Nazi party or in the Samoan Nazi party but not in charge of it?

I think probably to be the head. That's like losing a three-person dog show. I agree it's close but I think being the head like... You bear a lot more responsibility. Yeah. This line on my resume seems kind of sad. You're the only one anyone's ever going

to think of when they think about it. Right. Right. Like you don't want to be the face of that. Anyone else you're just in it as a goof. just that's that you've got interned yes just just imagine being the like the kiwi soldier you're just shuffling these guys along and you're like what are you and he's like I'm here to the Samoa Netsi party and you're just looking at like the fuck bro I'm here for the advancement of the Aryan race of course I feel like Taiko Waititi's pitch this somewhere and the studios are like we can't we can't make you already you can make our flag is death you cannot make this

gay pirate fine Samoan Nazi party too far Yeah Remember in the justified pilot When they're up in the holler And Boyd is like Read your Bible as interpreted by experts And Raylan just took tilts his head

And he's like boy do you even know any Jews Welcome to the shutdown to the shut down fullcast. are listening to the internet's only college football podcast i am spencer hall i am joined as i am always by ryan annie jacin kirk holly anderson and the ones and two's michael server before we say anything else i want to remind you that this episode and all of the dulcet tones you hear within are brought to you by coors light mountain cold refreshment made to chill i have a question so i need to set this up just a little bit um my youngest who's turning to next month um Halloween was the first holiday that he like really had an awareness of what of of like what a

holiday was and like he got he got pretty into it like he was in he enjoyed the festivity of But as a result, he has applied the rough Halloween framework to all holidays. So like at Thanksgiving, he would say boo here and there. And like he's starting to talk about Christmas and saying like scary and things like that. And so my question is outside of Halloween, what is the spookiest holiday? Hmm. It is Christmas. Yeah.

Please elaborate. Wales. I'm going to go Easter The dead skeleton horse that Welsh people parade around Okay I'm going to go Easter because the entire premise is back for the dead Okay Yeah Easter is about

I'll go Christmas Easter's about an innocent drifter who was murdered by cops And now he's back And now he's back I know about Easter is the crow But is Easter spooky or is it like A crime saga Like, betrayed by his, betrayed by one of his bros, like, wrongfully accused.

Rolling back the stone is pretty spooky, brother. That's an M. Night Shyamalan moment. Sure. That is gross. Being one of the cops who, according to this story, was told, whatever you do, don't let anyone take this dead body out of this cave. Mm-hmm. And then looking and seeing, it's already gone.

Sure. It's pretty spooky. Pretty spooky, I suppose. Being like, oh, you don't believe me? he's just he's kind of just weird he's like um just a guy who uh verifies facts yeah yeah oh you're dead come here but christmas does lend it's christmas for whatever reason does lend itself to lots of spooky interpretations of things there's there's there's there's british traditions that we for some reason didn't import that we should have like they tell ghost stories on christmas

well even the ones we do like a christmas carol is spooky as shit mm-hmm and the grinch is is spooky like that's some spooky shit yeah this this great this this all right this raise another question that a friend of mine uh kyle raised where did where does the grinch get his money where does the grinch get the funds oh he's a nepo baby who of whom or slip and fall lawsuit okay see now i i can go with that i can go with who industry's industrial accident settlement workers comp yeah that's 100 percent okay the grinch ah my back I think if so if I was trying to build a Grinch Empire I think what I would do is I would hire a musician to write a song a replacement level song I don't give a shit of what it's about just like a C plus song right um and then I would post it online and I would say an AI made this give me money for the machine that made this and you'll be able to make your own songs and AI didn't make it because AI can't make songs because it's all fucking sucks but I would I would make fake AI and sell it to idiots.

That's how I would build my Grinch Empire. That is, whatever that spits out is better than the fancy like Applebee's Christmas version, which is a real thing that I'm sorry to tell you exists. What? It's called, heading to the lyrics. It's called fancy like Christmas. And Spencer, if you would like to read the lyrics to this fucking, listen, I like living in Nashville, but I understand that the mere existence of this city is causing great pain and suffering

across the world. And Fancy Like Christmas is part of that. And if Nashville needs to be destroyed so this can go away, just give me like a weak heads up. That's it. I want you to know this is undoubtedly the byproduct of like five people with master's degrees and deep market research sitting in a room and big houses MBAs from Belmont Ruthness. And just barfing this shit out.

Can you read the chorus please? Yeah. Yeah, we fancy like Christmas round a fake tree. Nutcracker on the mantel and a candy cane candle. Get your eggnog, witcha fruitcake. I'm going to spell that withcha fruitcake. Go Jesus. It's your birthday.

No. Keep going. Boogie like blow up. in the front yard hoping Santa gonna leave an Applebee's gift card and my stocking even though we get naughty all night that's how we blow up what in the front yard I think I think it's like the inflatables rather not inflatable what like you know reindeer or Santa things or whatever yeah okay which I didn't I didn't know there was a class association with any of

that I didn't know that was bougie I didn't wasn't aware that there was. This is a real expensive. Yeah. Yeah. Even my extremely, extremely hard street Christmas decorations. My Yoda nativity scene is upper class.

Sorry. Sorry. But that's the point of the song is that it's not fancy. It's Applebee's fancy. Yeah. Okay. Sure. Sure.

The point at which, by the way, this kind of like involuntarily shat the pants of my brain was that go Jesus at your birthday. I can I harp on the fanciness of the song for a second? If you're not of Nashvilleian or near Nashvilleian extraction, I'm not sure you understand why this is so insidious.

This is like this is all part of that. This song is not saying that we're just simple folk and Applebee's as fancy for us. No, no, no. This is all part of that fate distressed. Like I live in a restored farmhouse that I paid seven, $700,000 to make it look weathered for, like fake adopting a class consciousness below your own for aesthetic reasons. I put a tractor in front of it that no one will ever drive. That's what makes this song so awful, also it sucks.

But the image and the lifestyle that it is celebrating sucks as well. The brands that are dropped in this song, which is not very long. Can I keep going? Yeah, sure. It's getting good. It's getting good to me here. Sure. Please.

Verse two. Again, brought to you by, I guarantee you. All that was first one. No, that was just the chorus. Oh. Verse one, I'll do real quick. Christmas is back, y'all. Bells in the track, y'all.

Mall Santa scaring babies in his lap, y'all. My baby's, my baby's cozy. She mistletoes me. Like, mistletoe is a verb. Oh, no. Yep. And she'd be slaying that Mariah karaoke. I doubt it.

And then there's a pre-chorus that says, and all the star buckers in the line say, put some peppermint mocha in my latte. That's not, those are two different. All right, whatever. I'm telling you, listen, we're going to radicalize at least six or seven listeners here.

All right, right. Marxism was right. Go ahead. Do verse two now. Mm-hmm. Yeah. We're just going to continue this. I didn't mean to make you a malice.

I'm just reading the lyrics. I, should I, you know what, I'm not, I know who made me aware of this song, and I do want to give them credit, but I also don't want them to catch any people. It was, it was, it was a lady. Oh. And it was not in a, like, this is a good thing way, but I'm not going to blow this person spot up. Please go ahead. No, tell us two and we'll beep it out.

Verse two, got matching jammies on. We're watching Home Alone. Yeah, you know Apple Fit and a drop another. her iPhone. Traffic's obnoxious. Dad's at the office. He got to pay for Mama's Amazon boxes.

The person who made me aware of this is she's not happy about this. I want to be clear. What we do to you? Yeah, it's terrible. It's terrible. It's real bad. It's real bad.

This basically, by the way, every time they need wish. Every time they need. need a lyric, they just look up at like a sign, you know, like on the interstate, right? They're like, a large brand. This is, this is like

SEO song. Yeah. Because it's like, all right, what do people want to search for at Christmas time? Moriah, Starbucks, peppermint, mocha, Applebee's gift card, probably not that. Amazon, Apple, iPhone. Like, it's just missing free iPad. We're trying to gene truck shorts

cutie an entire nation. This is a brilliant use of genius.com. Marvel Cassie Rubber's question? The most brilliant SEO website ever where every lyric turns into essentially its own link. So here what we're doing is we're selling affiliate ads on those link in our song about those ads. Okay, but here's what's messed up. The genius page for this song has no links whatsoever. Maybe Genius just isn't doing this anymore, but I feel like that was a conscious choice where they were like, we're not annotating. this. We have a line and we're drawing it here. Just give

it a minute. Is it a new song? This is not worthy of scholarship. Here's it a new song. There will be a number one scholar on this song. It's fairly, it's, it was listed on November 10th, so it's been up for a couple weeks. The scholars are still studying it. Yeah, uh, here's the bridge. Big buck on the wall

with a red nose on it. Leg lamp with some fish net hose on it. So many lights, we, so many lights, we got the neighbors and the breakers tripping. girl that ugly sweater got me grinch grinning like kids better hit the hay fast y'all unless you want to see your mama kissing daddy claws there's numerous references there's two references in the song to basically bang it on Christmas which of like if you got kids I'll tell

you that's not happening on Christmas that's a stressful you're not mm nope so you're going to be back up at 3 a.m exactly you're going to be back up like I tell you like you drink a bunch of eggnog m boy drink a bunch of eggnog drink a bunch of cookies i'm so bloated it's time to bone i also like i also like that this is a song that combines two things hooray it's the birthday of the baby jesus and daddy horny daddy horny well where do you think that baby came from god was horny daddy horny after eating all those those snacks out for standing like here comes clodgy claws um jason where can we get more religious scholarship like god was horny

I mean we're told that Mary was a virgin there's also a verse that says Mary's like how am I going to conceive I'm a virgin and God's like watch this do the fucking math folks so

hey I want to hear a charity thing yeah I would love to let's do it okay so my novel Hell is the World Without You which is available wherever shut down full books Amazon wherever so

my novel Hell is the World without you, which is available. Universe-wide, let's put it that way, anywhere in the universe that I know of. There is an element to it where all pre-order money, all money that comes in before February 12th, 2024, including those of you who happen to somehow take advantage of Amazon not knowing what pre-orders are and happen to already have your copy. Yes, that money too will be included. You also have a bonus typo in your edition. See if you can find it. All of that money will be donated to the Trevor Project in February. And before I reveal what that number is through the first five days,

so the average typical novel that goes through like a traditional publishing house, the advance for that will be about $10,000 usually. And if the author is able to make that in royalties over the course of a year or two, then great, successful book lunch. Hell is a world without you. After Expenses has well over double. that at just shut down full books alone plus Amazon money, Google Play, Barnes & Noble bookshop, etc., etc. So already a successful book launched, and we're going to run the

fucking score up because, because, yes, folks, longtime listeners know we love the word niche because this very podcast was called that by a New York City, New York City media person, And then it went on to become a, I almost said nine-figure. I'm a rallying cry. Property. But, yes, this very book was called Nish by a New York City publishing person who also called it distinctive and enjoyable. So, like, it's great shit, but I don't understand it. It's niche.

So magic fucking word. I love that word. I adore that word. Keep it coming. So, yeah, it's a nice launch. And we're going to keep it fucking going for at least two more months. and then guess what we're going to do it's the announcement

here it is days after this book releases for those of you for whom it hasn't already released the return time is a human construct the return of shutdown fullback live on February

I should already know this date February 16th in Atlanta Georgia wait wait two weeks there you said It's shut down full back live. Taking it back. I am told that the facility has a couch. And they were like, we have a stage and we have a couch.

Which one do you want where? And I'm like the same place. Mostly, I'm concerned. Because if it's shut down full back live, Spencer's got a shave. Full cast live. Shut down full cast live in Atlanta, Georgia. Have we done a live show in four years? Is that?

The last one we were supposed. to do was South by Southwest in 2020 this would have been in March so it'll be right before this was the South by that got canceled because of COVID so we'll be coming up on I guess 47 months

wow yeah this will be our first with Serber in the house so we will have magnificent audio close lawless the godlin has been thrown server server server is going to have this like under

his fucking thumb like it's a steely Dan recording session. He's like, no, take 38. The venue will be, you got this, buddy. The venue will be Monday night brewing's garage. It's a lovely venue, lovely brewery. They're down with the cause. They support the mission.

You will get a live forecast episode and we are doing a disasters episode. And yes, it is relevant because we are doing church disasters, all right? Can't wait to hear Spencer's. Have a good one. The disaster is church. You'll also get a copy of my novel with an exclusive sticker on it, 2024 Atlanta Mission Trip. You will get a $7 drink voucher.

They have plenty more drinks. They have pizzas that you can buy there. And we'll make sure there's like an hour for Q&A and signings and fellowship and all the usual stuff and like, you know, all your internet friends will be there. And all proceeds are going to charity. All of this is going into the Trevor Project pile as well. tickets are available right now jasonkirk dot splash that.com we might come up with a gimmick URL we'll see about that um this is linked on my substack i uh as you are hearing this i have emailed

it out today so look in your email if that's simplest for you um jasonkirk dot splash that dot com uh looking through here for any other details oh ticket prices will increase after friday december 1st so if you're hearing this you think that sounds fun jump on it because you're getting a good deal. You're getting a $50 book. You're getting a $7 drink voucher and you're getting a show. And, you know, maybe you've already ordered the book. Thank you.

Bless you. Now you have a copy to give away. And this is, I believe. If you download the show the day they come out, ticket prices go up after the day after tomorrow. Yeah. Like the movie. Remember that. And I believe this is the Friday after the Super Bowl.

It is. Which means we'll be celebrating the Falcons winning their first championship. We'll be celebrating the Seattle Seahawks defeating the Pittsburgh Steelers in the Super Bowl. Oh, come on, at least give us the dolphins. God damn it. This is intentionally time so the football season is done. So you're like, oh, what am I to do with the off season? You're going to read a book because what you're going to do.

All right. All right. Let's each, let's each, it's today we're recording this on November 28th. Let's each throw out a Super Bowl champion just to see if one of us can nail it. I'll go first. You're going to take Eagles first? I'll go first. No, I'm not going to.

to take the eagles because i'm taking the eagles all right holly's taking holly's taking the eagles i'm going to take i'll take the miami dolphins the miami dolphins are going to win the super who's who's drafting next spencer who you got uh i am going to go baltimore ravens from the afc no just pick a winner don't pick a match up oh i just you just want to pick up winter just a winner baltmore ravens okay server who you got

you took my team okay if you want the dolphins i'll take the lions no no no it's crazy that that's a good pick it is who do you want server i'm sorry i'm gonna take the 49ers okay all right the other dolphins exactly the dolphins the dolphins what love gold the dolphins satellite campus the dolphins and niners are totally the spider-man meme because yeah there is an element of that kind of hate the chiefs this year, but I'll take the chiefs because, you know, if the improvement spike happens, then then we're sitting pretty. Okay. So, not

taking the Falcons. So congrats to every other team, one of you is going to win the Super Bowl. There you have it. The Bills. Congratulations. The Bills will win the Super Bowl. Oh, buddy, it ain't going to be the fucking Bills, I promise you that. The Bills will, if the Bills fire Shell McDermott and then they go on

a rip. If Joe Brady's a head coach, they're going to win the Super Bowl. The Cowboys are going to lose of the Lions in the NFC Championship. That is insanely cursed. Yep. And then the Broncos are going to be the Lions of the Super Bowl, and it's going to be the worst

time for everybody. A week of Russell Wilson media. Yep. Oh, last live show thing, we'll probably have a few special guests as well, so there will be more to announce, so... That's right. Russell Wilson will be there, ladies and gentlemen.

Hey, guys. He'll be busy celebrating the Super Bowl. I heard you were talking about Jesus. That's true. Yeah, come on, Russ. Let's talk about youth group, Russ. I know you were there. I know you were there.

Okay. Derek Carr, you were there too. Do we have any other podcast business while we're here? None for me. Okay. Holly and Spencer don't want to, did you want, I don't know. We haven't talked about Channel 6 in a little bit. That's true.

You can. Interesting happening. You got a football season that you are covering. You know why your top whatever is late is because Spencer is sick as shit. Spencer's body went boom. Yeah, my body went boom, but we're going to get that out. It's happening. Subscribe now to support Spencer through his condition.

That is correct. Yeah, there we go. Spencer is showing up, despite his ailment, in an effort to keep his Cal Ripkin streak going, simply for you, folks. That's right. The Iron Horse of Podcast. Iron casters. Iron whale.

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number store or sleep number.com sleep number official sleep and wellness partner of the NFL C store for details um if we've concluded with that business I want to move on to another kind of business and that's my favorite kind of business which is how did you introduce your new coach this week because uh I laughed at Texas A and him introducing Mike Elko initially what they did have a formal everybody grip and grin and sing and and say things like oh we're gonna make this off yeah we saw them off and I already know the words and that was good like shouts out to Mike Elko by the way hadn't done that a while I can know the words no but he knew

the words and he did all the shit we avoided he passed a crucial element of head coaching test yeah but like what what Duke football traditions did he have to learn in the like he didn't have to replace it with anything slap in the floor insurance correct slapping the turf correct insurance fraud is highly noted yeah insurance fraud so good on him for that but my favorite part of that was there was something before where he just got off the plane and they didn't do the jimbo north korean uh welcome wagon thing that they did with jimbo if you'll remember jimbo got off and they had the band playing like

and Jimboe walking off and waving and gripping and grin at. Nope. He just got off the plane. He just got off the plane and went in there. Like much respect. That's growth, y'all. Just, yes, we're not doing that. Growth for who?

For A&M? Or is it like, they, did they develop a brief awareness that they were made fun of? Like, for the first time ever, Aggies were like, the outer world exists. What? Weird. Yeah. I think the timing helped, too, that it was at night. They were just like, just get him in.

So they don't have a rapid deployment band. Like a band they can air drop. There's probably a list, right? It's like a group chat. Like, go. There's this like encoded, like encrypted WhatsApp chat of band members who are like, we're ready to deploy at any minute. The splinter cell of band needs to be there. Yeah.

So I think it's, I think it's growth on their part that they just decided to have as normal a press conference as they could for their hire. Where, mind you, everyone was swaying arm in arms singing about, like, butchering a cow's head. That's, again, we're on a curve. We're on a curve. I should clear the wind now. You know, but like Holly and I were talking on, I believe it was late Saturday night, early Sunday morning. We were talking about how bad this coaching search could be. And after the Mark Stoops era at Texas A&M, which lasted all of 45 minutes, I think, it could have slid into like,

you know, Tennessee territory real fast. Yeah. Yeah, they, uh, they could have hired a seven and five coach from a basketball school. I mean, instead, they, they hired a seven and five coach from a basketball school. So major saved by that internet mutiny. Thank God that happened. Because like any, anytime you almost hire a guy who's won a citrus bowl and instead you're able to hire a guy who's won a military bowl, nice work.

Wow. They hired a cheaper one for, like, it's like, oh, they're poor? You poor, Aggies? Ah, we're going to pay him more. Jason Kurt said, raise him. I don't think you can pay Mike Elko very much money. The uncharitable thing I have to say about the Mike Elko hiring, which I don't have a problem with, and I'm not like, this is not like, I think they made the wrong choice.

I'm not smart enough to really have an opinion on that. But I think it is interesting that a lot of what was sort of postured about why Mike Helco was a good choice was like he will help keep certain staff members in place and he will help like with some continuity in the program recruits etc like that the sort of like oh he will he will hold the ship together and i kind of thought the whole point of firing jimbo was you hated this boat and you wanted to burn it down do you like do you like the defense and you want a new offense is yeah it's just sort of like it's it's it seems curious to me that it's like oh this will be stability when like that's not what you wanted yeah i mean i think i think it's a totally decent hire totally defense yeah makes total

sense the process is what's funny to me yes that's fair like if if they had come out and if they'd skip the whole weekend drama and they just hired mike elko i'd say oh sure that makes sense do you think i i i read somewhere that elko was basically going to give duke time to match the offer do you think duke even like pondered that nope okay not for a damn second okay i laugh What is Duke's endowment? Like, how many billions is it? I know they could, but there's just no way they ever would. It was, if you look at what he's getting, I think he was making around three and a half

mill to coach at Duke, and he's making seven mil. 11.6 billion dollars is the answer to Jason's question. And Duke was like, nah. No thanks. Nine. I think that the funniest thing is that they just doubled his salary. Like, they just did the like, Aggie math, boy math is. did boy math they're like we're gonna pay you twice what you were making twice how does twice

sound sure aggies are real tough negotiators this by contrast was very tough negotiating from them that's true they have they have become a bit more frugal as of late if if you are a grocer or a butcher in college station putting out a sign that says market price must be the most powerful financial move you have for your business. The salmon's $1,000. I don't know what to tell you. That's what the market will bear. That's how much money you want.

Bam! Give me that fish. But I want to pay you more. How however much money you want, however much I got. Well, that's market price now, isn't it? There's also in the contract a series of incentives, which

everyone's already made fun of because L.O.L. Yankees winning things. But he gets a million dollars if they make the college football playoff more likely than one might suspect with the expanded college football playoff field. Advance to college football playoff quarter finals and or win the SEC conference title. That's the million five or 1.5 mil. 2 mil if you advance to the semis, 2.5. If you advance to the championship game and then a 3.5 if you win the national championship.

championship, my favorite. You get 50 grand of the multi-year APR of 960 above. Priorities. I love it. Let's just throw you, we'll just throw you like a nice Subaru if you managed to get everybody to class. Not even a nice one at this point. Yeah, they do retain. A certified pre-owned Subaru. A certified pre-owned descent, buddy. We can get you in that with all the bells and whistles. I don't have a problem with these, because every coach's contract has this. No matter where you, coach there is a clause in there about if you win the national championship i think my problem is i would like to see it scale more appropriately depending on the job like if you take i don't know

if you take the san diego state job which is open the bonus for winning the national title should be 100 million yeah yeah that's what it should be i think i saw someone's it might have been jerry kill uh with like a 50 000 national title um bump bonus in his contract like It should be $50 billion. Yes. It should be $50,000 at Alabama. That's what it should be. At Alabama, it's if you don't win it, you pay back half.

Right, right, right. These things are just like, they're inappropriately. And maybe at A&M, those are roughly what the numbers should be. But they're never right. And I guess schools are just like, well, we can't pass. But if you're San Diego State, why not just say, yeah, here's the offer, coaches. we can't pay you a ton of guaranteed money we can give you a hundred million dollars if you win a national title so I think this the national championship incentives thing it should be standardized across the board it should be like someone decides how much every school gets that someone should be Bud Elliott yes and the bigger the number he gives you the meaner he is being to you right and and what you do if you're the school every year you place a hedge where you're sort of like okay what are our odds to win the national championship we're going to bet enough to cover the coach's contract if we if we if we if we if we get to that point so when bud

says miami is allowed to spend 30 billion dollars for it for national title wow oh miami must suck because you need to because you need to i can't wait till somebody tries to gain the system on this by being like hey are we the 12th seed cool everybody's getting access to the most powerful soviet steroids that are still left in the vaults right you're all we're basically we're basically Basically, you're just going to be on every PED possible. Nano machines. Yeah, we've got Senator Armstrong just like on the sidelines. I'm at the fuck up.

We're investing that million. I also love that we have college basketball tourney creep. It's already here. It took less than a decade for us to expand this thing because coaches are like, you know, if I make the playoff, I can't be fired. So why don't we just all make the playoff? What if make the playoff? Did you win?

I made the playoff. Look at this. Penn State has made the playoff. James Franklin is made for this shit. Six years in her Franklin 12 seed. Like Jimbo would have made it what once, twice?

Yeah. So if we're going off the current rankings which A, we're recording this before the most updated ones have come out so this is going to. So you know what? I should actually use the AP top 25. Let me fix that. So if we're going off the current AP top 25, the

12th seed would be Oklahoma. Oklahoma. Oklahoma would be in the playoffs, Old Miss would be in the playoffs Penn State would be the 10 seed Missouri would be in the playoff So I think it's top five conferences Right? That's true I haven't

I haven't adjusted for that part of it But I think all the P5 There's not a bad P5 this year so that wouldn't No it wouldn't it wouldn't really apply The ACC rule doesn't apply this year I mean it would it would potentially lead to It does create potentially weird things like Oklahoma State can make the playoff

right yeah which is a way which like they're 19th right now there's no there are three lost team that can't happen in this version yes they can't playoff yes like Notre Dame is going to make the playoff a shit ton yeah an absolute shit done yeah they're built for that um I don't know the like Iowa you're right I think like Iowa shit I would probably have a good chance to make the playoff even if they don't win every year there will be like you know the third best team in the SEC West always ranks 11th, right? Always. Literally the 11th team in the AP right now? Oldness.

Yes. That team is almost always Auburn, right? Yes. So many pointless, useless playoff bids that get coaches contracts extended thanks to the new playoff. All in the SEC West. Yeah. And the flip side is going to be,

which I think is going to be really fun. There are a number of schools right now where I think there's at least an understanding that situationally it's hard to make a four-team playoff and there's not necessarily pressure like i don't think dan landing is under a lot of pressure to make the playoff year after year right now pack 12 has a bunch of systemic disadvantages uh you know 14 it nobody expects the pack 12 to get two teams in etc etc that will change as they move to the big ten and as it becomes a like 12 team playoff and

that's got like that will 100% be true of miami like i don't think the expectations for mario chrysball right now are like he he is in trouble because he hasn't made the 14th playoff if he doesn't make the 12th team playoff in the next two years huge problem yeah billion apier if he doesn't make the 12 team playoff in the next two years huge problem yeah that's that that that is a really good point i i i just enjoyed by the way this is this is also a video game issue that we've done here we've really lowered the bar for badge keeping right and badge earning sure yeah this is great like we're gonna get so many coaches who like Houston nut would have worked the shit out of this well yeah

he would have made at least a couple yeah it's it's also interesting because this wasn't anybody's I mean to some extent was the plan but the fact that we're getting super conferences at the same time that we're moving to 12 teams those are things that are going to go in very different directions because now it's a lot harder to get the automatic bid from the SEC or the Big Ten or frankly the ACC or the Big 12th like that what you have to run through is very different and so expectations are rising at the same time that I think difficulty is for a lot of programs I think the ACC's auto bid is really like I think honestly I think Clemson is in a really good

Spice. Yeah, they really are. Because, like, you look at who's joining the Big Ten, you know, and who's joining the SEC, and, like, the Big 12, there's, anyone could win in any year. Yes, sure. Whereas the ACC's, like, Clemson and FSU, and you're adding Cal and Stanford. You know what I mean? Like, it's diluted.

That's probably true. Most of the time, at least. Yeah. Like, shout out to SMU, I guess. But, yeah. You're here, too. That's fine. Yeah.

SMU a chance at an NY6. Certainly. Certainly, Clemson's. Clemson and Florida State's path does not change drastically. I think it gets slightly easier, slightly easier. Maybe so. I mean, like, winning the conference is

other than, like, you have to travel to Stanford in the middle of the season, other than that shit. Right. Which, that's not insignificant. No, it's not. You're going to get a real stupid game out of one of those trips.

I think the one thing that may complicate it is, and we saw this a little bit with the Big 12 this year, and I think we're going to see a lot more going forward is if you are Clemson or if you are Florida State you know in the old in the old divisional setup you had a very clear like when your division you get to the a c championship game in this huge divisionless mega conference you do run the risk of kind of like

what do you do with a Louisville a team that you didn't play you didn't have a chance to knock them out in the regular season and so you potentially like can get leapfrogged by a team like that or that you can find yourself in a situation where it's like well shit we took a loss but this other team who just happened to get a different schedule didn't and so now we are somehow behind the eight like that can be I think a complicating factor is scheduling equity is going to be wildly different at this point it for all the reasons that it already is and then some I would like to interrupt

this broadcast. Some important breaking news. Oh, no. That is the correct answer. All right. Hold on. Hold on. Did somebody get fired?

No. Did somebody get hired? No. Did somebody get taught? We're doing a little vetting. Okay. Oh, there's a rumor. Okay.

Please tell me it's a groomer. It's better than that. It's a. Prumer Uh What? Is according to Pete thermal That better not mean Jeremy Pruitt.

Uh, sources. Prueh, to Duke. All right. Arkansas is vetting, vetting, hiring former head coach Bobby Petrino as the school's next offensive coordinator. Petrino has indicated in the

recruiting space that he's in the mix for an SEC coordinator job. What the fuck? Is this legal? It might not be possible. because I don't know if you can be hired after being fired for cause as a state employee.

Yeah. If there are laws in Arkansas, then Arkansas fans have already pulled the relevant. Arkansas laws. Well, that's not what I thought you're going to say. Wow. Of all the places he could go, that's one of the last ones.

That's one of them. I know where all my stuff. I know where the grocery store is. yeah a lot of memories on those roads on those dusty roads campus a lot of memories broken road and collarbone there i was riding the hog that's going to be one hell of a side by side intro press conference photo and there she was riding the hogg oh i think the only i think the only darker humor there would be if they were like we're hiring Bobby Petrino as the volleyball coach

that's darker that's much darker so he's going to need at that at that intro presser you know he's going to like Dion Dion showed up with you know showed up with a catchphrase right what did Dion say when he when he got there

so so Bobby Petrino might look back and think well Dion builds up a lot of hype there's there's this thing he said I think Bobby Petrino might say it too Bobby Petrino might say I'm coming again

I'm coming again I thought you're going to I like that just days ago off the podcast Jason was like I don't think I'm going to do Patrino voice again there's no there's no reason to do

you do you did this he brought him back I'm bringing my own baggage and it's and it's Nordstrom rack and it's dirty dirty bags Arkansas's existence continues to be quite cruel and strange

scientists are debating whether Arkansas exists or not why does I why does I like for a long time Sam Pittman sure does like to hire shitheads. Between Bobby Petrino, if it happens and Danny knows, like, what is, what is Arkansas fetish with, like, I think I'm going to get back with my high school girlfriend. I'm going to message her on Facebook and see if she wants to see my dick.

Hey, you know that guy everyone here hates? I'm going to hire him. Too late to start over. Who's after this, Lou Holtz? Like, where? Like, you're just going through the. you know that guy who put his mistress on a state funded payroll is sam pitman building up to hiring tommy tubberville is that what's happening here

oh it's houston nut it's the answer of america it's Houston nut that's who it's going to be is he just as half as interview hungry as he was a couple years ago he's sitting at home right now going fucking really is he just assembling is he just doing the thing like like keep your friends close but your enemies closer is he just doing everybody who would like to recoup themselves back into the Arkansas job, putting them all under one roof. Bobby Petrino, Houston Nut. Hell, maybe he hires Chad Morris as a consultant.

He's just building himself like a gallum of failed Arkansas coaches for once. He knows how much everybody in the admin likes him, so he's only hiring people who it's super, super easy to fire as scapegoats. This man's assembling oceans one in 11. Thank you. Thank you. John L. Smith to the courtesy phone. You could just, I think you should just hire John L. Smith just to rehire and fire him several times over.

I like that guy. I love him. What a nice guy. Great dude. This has never been hotter. Wherever he is, hire him. Yeah. Probably living in a Burlington Coat factory.

We need the hot piss. Bring the hot piss back. Please, Papa. Piss has grown cold. Exactly. We've had to sustain on the coldest of urins. His whereabouts last known location

Kentucky State University Yes, Spirit I will keep Christmas in my heart and keep the piss hot all year long There's your piss grown cold

The Arkansas Christmas Carol The Arkansas version of a Christmas Carol The University of Arkansas Football version is incredible Yeah Jerry Jones is Marley

For sure Hey, I'm dead I'm dead Bubba Dick still works. Poked ghost. All right. What else happened in coach hiring this week? How are we supposed to follow pokey ghost?

We just push forward. We just ignore it. You know what else can push forward? This old mule. Watch my go. Get me and Jim Mersay in a room together. you there boy yeah jim see me fuck he knows little jay puts it down he's impressed too takes a lot to impress jim my favorite element my favorite part of the cowboy's book that jeff perlman wrote

was about the um was about jerry jones having sex with a woman on his private jet and the description from someone who was there was yeah there was some noise and some shake but not for long like a Cowboys playoff run Old Double J gets it done fast Wild card exit Yeah so

Mississippi State hired Jeff Levy Which Not a lot of jokes about that one next No no it's not a lot That's the joke But I'm sure it's an okay hire I give it a B plus How about that?

This is a weird group of jobs that are open. It's a weird group of hires, too. Well, like, the jobs that are open, it's like you got some mid-major upper crusts with Boise State. Houston has been there. San Diego State probably kind of applies. San Diego State should be. Their basketball team certainly is.

And then you have, like, a bunch of power conference jobs that are historically among the hardest, Duke, Mississippi State, Oregon State. Syracuse. That is like, it is, you know, there are only a couple power five schools that belong in that list of the hardest jobs, right? And then you got some of the absolute toughest places, ULM, Utep, New Mexico. So like, I guess you'd want that Houston job the most, but this is a. Oh, absolutely. A weird group. I don't know. If you could make $15 million at the University of Indiana. I was going to say, how dare we skip over. The Tiffany brand of the University of Indiana. The A&M of the miles. I don't know. It got negotiated down.

It wasn't 20 mil. It ended up being like 15.5, which I don't know why Tom Allen negotiated down. He's a nice man. Needs it now. Yeah, maybe he had Tom's in deep with some guys. Although I guess I guess the counterpoint is Tom Allen was probably like, you know what? It's probably worth $5 million for me not to have to coach Indiana football anymore.

like there are benefits to be as well here also i just called organ state a power conference job yes of course they are they're in the pack 12 as of now as of now until like july first or whatever they will remain in the pack 12 that's true that's true and they own all those assets as 50% co-owners of the pack 12's assets leave the number on it don't change it to pack 2 or whatever no matter like even if you had the whole mountain west and it's the pack whatever fuck it's the pack 12 forever yeah i don't know that's my my like how do you approach i approach i approach and Indiana and be like, I will take a $19 million buyout. Plus $1 million bonus for the courtesy of negotiating down.

For finder's favor, me finding the door. You just walk in and be like, you all know what's up. I'm looking to coach Indiana, and you know how that ends. So $19.9 million. That's where we start this little buyout discussion. You're the ones who hired an Indiana football coach. You had to know how I was going to end. Mm-hmm.

am I a good coach? Yes. Will I be coaching Indiana? Yes. Are those two things necessarily the same? They will not be. No. The Venn diagram is very small.

Because remember, God hates Indiana football. I'm just relying on the evidence that if there is a God, he's furious at Indiana football. I do appreciate that, like, during the peak of the pandemic, people adopted different hobbies. There are a lot of people who, like, probably have baking equipment that they're not using. any more crafts that they abandoned whatever and Indiana's Indiana's pandemic splurred was like we're gonna be a big tie football program yeah we're gonna we're gonna we're gonna learn to bake bowl like god damn Indiana they should just bought a Pelot like everybody else didn't cost 20 mil I'm sorry 15 5 15 5

only 15 5 just gone back through Zeno gears yeah I hear it's great um Mass effect is really cheap these days indiana yeah there's so much to play ucla is not firing chip kelly it seems like right yeah always a positive sign when you have to come out this is up to do a couple programs my favorite anti story when you come out and go we're not firing him no not because there was there was like a report that they would and then they beat usc so it was like why was there a report right and then they got shelled by cow sure that happens and now now now now like it doesn't happen truthfully i think part of it and indiana is sort of like a little bit of proof of this is that one of the weird things about early signing day to some extent in the transfer

portal to a larger one is like you are now in a weird no man's land where this is not a good time to fire a coach because you don't have time to bring in somebody new re-recruit your existing roster go out to the recruits that you already have commitments from like you're just pinched for time and Indiana has like, I don't know, some like 20 guys who have entered the transfer portal since they fired Tom Allen. And I think that might be a little bit of what's going on at UCLA. Is it just sort of like you missed your, if you were going to pull this trigger, and I don't necessarily think that's what had to happen. This is, you've missed the window. And this is not the time to do it anymore.

Now you have to wait until I don't know when, frankly. Next year. I guess so. Yeah. next year. You just got to chill for a year. This is, this is by the way, a move that programs have done and like every college football fan has to do, which is how long are you going to have to wait? I need you to wait at least 365 days. That's it. I'm going to need you to wait a long-ass time for this to change. Right? Like UCLA in the first five games of next year has to play LSU on the road, Oregon at home. and Penn stayed on the road. Sure. Who did that?

The Big Ten did that. You did that by, I mean, not the LSU part. That was the choice you made. But like the rest of it is, and it's just sort of like, this is the other thing that's going to be weird about these teams moving is like, yes, UCLA gets to play Indiana. They get to play Rutgers who is, you know, Rutgers is a bowl team. Like, I can't say like, oh, that'll definitely be.

be even like UCLA's got to play Iowa. UCLA's got to play at Nebraska. And like you might win those games. They got to play Minnesota. These are games you might win. You're not going to have fun. It's not going to be like, oh, that was a satisfying time. It's just, it's going to be very, very strange next year for I think almost all the

Pac-12 teams. One of these Pac-12 teams, though, is going to be, it's going to be the non-native species let loose in an extremely favorable environment. I don't know which one it is. I could not pick it for the life of me. I would laugh my ass off if it were Cal. There's no reason to think that it would be. But if it were, it would be utterly hilarious.

I just know one of these guys is going to be like the cane toad. One of these teams is going to be like, oh, God, this is what we've been looking for. Is it possible Utah? That would be the easy pick because you go, you know, they play defense. They run the ball. They have good special teams, you know. But that just means they're a good football team. No, I mean the one that just for reasons unidentified is like, finally, the vibes are right.

Finally. And you think it's going to be Cal. Okay. Well, that would be the funniest answer. I didn't say it would be the answer. It'd be hilarious when UCLA, like everything, like from the UCLA, we're like, at last, turns out playing Purdue feels good. Maybe.

Sure. I don't think it's going to be USC. That's for goddamn sure. USC's going to look like expensive Purdue. like damn who west lafayette indeed like yeah they're already lincoln riley is already having to deal with rumors that he's going to leave to go with whatever NFL team drafts Caleb Williams and he's already having to say like no buddies I came here to I came here to USC for the long haul because I'm committed and it's like sure who says that NFL team

wants him. It's a great question. I mean, like, well, granted, the bears don't ever have any better ideas. I mean, yeah, good or bad doesn't really describe an idea that the bears do. It's just, things happen. Things happen. They're just going to do that. I don't know, by the way, if you saw the pass chart from Justin Fields last night, it looked like, honestly, it was, you can't see, it looked like, they called like 9,000 perimeter screens.

there was like no passes down the field none look look i know i know like football is wonderful and great but i think when the monday night games bears vikings you really need to ask yourself like am i caught up on household chores have i called my mother sleep is good for you yeah like have i been good sleep i watched 10 minutes of this game it put me out we say this as people who watch the Iowa Hawkeyes oh thrilling the Iowa Hawkeyes are thrilling in comparison but like but like part of this Iowa kind of got thrown around compared to the Bears Vikings game and I think at least for me part of what makes Iowa more interesting than the Chicago Bears or the broken Minnesota Vikings is there is

and extent to which this is what Iowa wants to do. And I can get on board with it more when it's like, this is the plan. It may not be pretty, and it may not be a smart plan, but it is the plan. And there are lots of things Iowa is really good at. Yes, yes. Whereas, like, the bears don't want to be this way. They 100% don't. God made us wrong.

We just don't want to be this way. And they have been for fucking ever. Do you want to look at the schedule? Oh, yeah, hell, yeah. Yeah, how dare we not? So it's one of the last looking at the schedule opportunities. The, in fact, until bowl episodes start. That's right.

I see that hand. So before the Pac-12 quarter... The final Pac-12 game is a play-off quarter-final. How fucking stupid does that sound? Like, this is the one game all week in which the winner makes the playoff. must be a really good conference let's get rid of it so stupid anyway it'll be an awesome game yeah

Oregon's really good every Washington game is good every Washington game it doesn't matter how good their opponent is the game is good so yeah they make guaranteed to be good they make good game and I see no reason for this to not be another very very good game Washington is like pro wrestlers who brag about how good their matches are and it's like wait a second so you're saying you're not good at winning you're saying you're good at like

making your opponent also look like they're going to win. Washington is like, yeah, that's the point. We're here to steal the show. Washington will put you over. Washington will sell all your shit. You will absolutely get all your shit in. Washington will sell their ass off. Big dramatic swings.

Yeah, and then to end it, you know, a triple option with a like reverse option, reverse pitch behind on an end around. Yeah, and then nobody kicks out of Michael Pinnock's doing stuff at the last minute. yeah which is it which i think is a good comparison because i think there are people who are at this point irritated washington playing such interesting football and by interesting i mean sometimes making drastic drastic miscalculations in the last three minutes of the game that nonetheless do not

hurt them uh elsewhere that night america's team new mexico state uh having defeated liberty south let's go let's go heads to liberty prime to uh see if we can do something about the zero by Liberty's name. Thunderous applause and in moral support lend to the New Mexico State Aggies. Crush them. Vanquishing evangelicals throughout. I am a little, I am a little perplexed that Jamie Chadwell has not gotten more discussion for some of these open jobs.

Like, given what he did at Coastal and given what he has done this in a single year at Liberty, which Liberty was fine but was not amazing they're usually the team that loses a few games against the worst schedule this year they've beaten all the games on the worst schedule but I agree that the record alone you feel like there'd be more interest yeah I'm kind of curious like what's yeah what's that deal like for me the Mississippi State job I guess yeah that might have been interesting and you know but but to Jason's point like there are a lot of jobs out here where it's like i don't know if i want that one yeah like i don't know if i'm jamie chadwell i'm not like fuck yeah indiana let's go and going from liberty to duke sounds i mean they're they're like politically

you guys agree on their comments about it yeah yeah by the way the list of people who would be like indiana fuck yeah let's go that's a brilliant list of people who'd be like who can't wait absolute psychopath absolute psychopaths or unretired brady hoke baby or the coldest realists that you have ever met in your life. Brady hoax's like, let's go give me another boat. Yeah, yeah okay, just angling for buyout, strictly byout. Yeah. Yeah. Speed running byout.

Buffet's open. Shrip. There it is. He's back. All the voices are back. Oh, God. Saturday. So Oklahoma State, Texas. Very strange Big 12 championship,

but that's the neat trick. They always are. Yeah, well, strange ass, strange ass, ass Oklahoma State team. Texas two Dutch is favorite against an Oklahoma state team that has lost

to South Alabama and nevertheless here they are. Sure. And also didn't just lose to UCF who barely made a

bowl game. Got fucking hammered by UCF, 45 to 3. Yeah. Yeah. One of the very strangest teams

in the country and they could knock the Big 12 out of the pool. They have an awesome running back. Like, Olly Gordon is great.

Mm-hmm. this is the moon night of current big 12 teams just a big ball of bullshit be careful but they are they are they are very one dimensional like they cannot throw the ball very effectively at all no and and i feel like given all the praise we've given texas's giant defensive line might be an issue i i feel like it will present some problems yes you're trying to you're trying to say that that ali gordon might not be able to outrun 800 pounds of man in the middle of that line yeah yeah It is weird, like, it is weird that Texas is sort of on the outside looking in right now. Like, looking at the conference as a whole and beating Alabama on the road and this, that, the other, it is like, if you told me at the start of the year, Texas is going to have one loss heading into the Big 12 championship, they're going to be playing a ranked team in the Big 12 championship, and the loss was not to Alabama.

I'd be like, well, they're definitely in the playoff. And it's like, they need at least one, probably two things to happen to get in. They could use an upset for sure. It is very, very strange. Like the idea that, this is like sort of a side thing, but the idea that like Alabama wins the SEC championship and then they jump Texas feels very strange to me just from the perspective. It won't feel right, yeah.

Well, like, I mean, think about two years ago, right? Cincinnati beats Notre Dame and everyone all year long is waiting for the shoe to drop for Notre Dame to jump Cincinnati. It doesn't happen. Yeah. And that's with Cincinnati having, you know, not a power conference schedule. They were just undefeated and had beaten Notre Dame. Here you have Texas with a power conference schedule for whatever that's worth.

It's evidently worth a lot. And they beat in fucking Alabama by 10 in Tuscaloosa. And we're talking about a scenario where Bama just jumps them. when the committee wasn't willing to do that with Cincinnati, like, okay, if we have this idea that, you know, all the committee does is they book, um, highly valued TV properties, right? Well, surely they would have cashed that in in order to put Notre Dame in instead of Cincinnati, right? But they weren't willing to do that, but they're going to be willing to do that to Texas. They're going to take away Texas's first title shot. Yeah. Yeah. When they wouldn't do that with Cincinnati, that is so strange to me. And if we're saying, well, they're saying, well, they're going to be willing to do that. ESPN SEC bias. Texas is an SEC team now. Yeah, it would be quite useful. You want them coming in as valuable as possible. We could iron this whole

thing out because you know you don't have to worry about that with the Pact 12's representative because you got a rematch, right? You could you could get that built you could potentially get that built into the schedule next year. So yeah, I mean, Texas does need a bit of help, but

Bama over Texas. Granted, sure. There will be arguments if Bama beats Georgia. Georgia can make all of this very, very simple. But I don't see it. It's just weird. That's all. Yeah.

It doesn't feel right. I don't think it will. Toledo can go 12 and 1. Just the team no one ever thinks about that. Oh, hi, we're 12 and 1. Good for them. And Miami as well. 10 and 2.

Miami in a conference title game. Don't see that very often. Funny. Boise State. State versus UNLV, this was as determined by computers. As determined by the mind of technology. Bleep, blorp here in.

Zero, one, Boise State and UNLV, remarkable for two reasons because, actually three reasons. Boise State here without their head coach. 75. And UNLV here at all, that UNLV

is this good and doing this well former Missouri coach Barry Autumn thriving in one year and also you remember the other thing that happened to Barry Odom this offseason he lost Bobby Petrino yeah which so Arkansas fans look forward to 2025 if someone told you boys you say you and LV conference title game you'd think what's the spread a million no it's two it's two yeah and it should be that's about right it's fine yeah Georgia Bama, yep. SMU 2 Lane.

I'm curious to see if, they're on at the same time. Yeah, I'm curious to see if SMU is ranked, because if so, that will basically guarantee this is a New Year 6 play-in game. Because Tulane is 23 ahead of tonight's rankings, I would assume, bump up a bit. But yeah, that's, like, you know,

if Georgia Bama gets, it's too, too consequential for you. Crank it on down a little, a level. Yeah. Not that I think they could do this against Tulane, but very fond of the way SMU plays football, which is get on your ass. Immediately. They're the most like 28 point burst team in college

football. Like if they get up on you, it's not by oh, a comfortable lead of seven. It's like, nope, they just put up 35. Shit. App State. Troy, another good game at the time. The winner gets to pretend they are JMU, I guess. Mm-hmm. Congratulations.

And then, I mean, at least, at least App State beat JMU. Yes. Like they have, they have that. And lost to four teams. Right. It's only two of them were in conference, but yes. That's true. Abstate, Abstate having the weirdest, we did the minimum season.

That's, that's Boise State, but yes. Yeah, App State was more like, ah shit, this test is. do tomorrow time to stay up all night Boise State was seven in five games Boise State was seven and five and then it was like oh I hope the computer picks us imagine that

look how far we've come since the BCS days a computer picked Boise State that's right I took a bunch of trucker speed and beat JMU that's what happened Appalach and State it's always the Big Ten and ACC close the night out why I don't know Michigan's a 23 point favorite over Iowa

which means we're expecting 24 to nothing final score the over under is 35 in a conference side of the game. Magnificent. Those two numbers combined. The spread being that big, but the over and under being that small, is just so stupid.

What do you expect Iowa to do? Take up space. I'm just going to obstruct. I've never seen Vegas more clearly signal, like, there's nothing for you here to watch. So 35 divided by 2, 75, by 2. so we're thinking

so Iowa is predicted to score about nine points yes yeah that sounds fair the attorneys of Iowa just playing for a mistrial that's really objection they might win

and if they do it'll be the most disgusting thing you've ever seen it'll be the grossest shit you've ever seen in your life you sold me on this game by the way Louisville FSU should be pretty good should be you know should be competitive Louisville's going to be real pissed off coming at the loss to Kentucky. Yeah, it should be a pretty decent game.

As always, annual complaint that the Mountain West title game is not last. That shit should kick off at 11 p.m. I think that's fair. I think that's correct. I would also probably take the MEC going last for whatever reason. Sure. Pretend it's Tuesday. That would be fun. Does Florida State have to worry at this point?

Like, not just, like, obviously they have to worry about beating Louisville, but like beyond that, do they have to worry that like they will get screwed yeah they have to worry i think so i hate to say it but i think yeah i like it is so stupid it's so fucked up that a team go 13 and oh uh schedule lSU out of conference um you know beat a good team in a conference title game and not be guaranteed but i mean the committee said 10 years ago in the event that a team's composition changes dramatically will take that into account that's stupid that's not how sports work but like it the fact that we our record, booking title fights instead of awarding achievements, this might be the time they cash it in. If, you know, if FSU barely wins and say, Bama stomps Georgia or something like that,

it's fucked up, but this is the first time I think it could happen. Okay. And, and, like, I hate feeling bad for FSU, especially in FSU that hasn't even been screwed yet and might not be. Sure. Right. Because like, you know, FSU could hit 13-0 and the committee's just like, they're 13 and no. We don't give a shit. They get a shot. And that's great. I think, I think that is more likely for what it's worth. I mean, yeah, I just, yeah, I agree. I do agree, but this is the first time I think it's a possibility. Mostly because I think if they can beat a, at least AP top 10 Louisville team,

even though Tate Rotamaker is a step, whatever, from Jordan Travis, I think that will probably give them enough cover to be like, okay, like it would be different if this was insert extremely mid-coastal team that you beat. Well, in their first game without, with their first game with the backup quarterback, they went on the road against a six and five team. They were the- Not a six-and-five team, a five-and-sixth team.

Excuse me, five-and-six. But my point is, Washington beat basically the same level of opponent and needed, like, last-second chicanery to do it, right? Bama needed the biggest bullshit of the entire season to get past a similar opponent, right? Like, everybody won ugly on Saturday, except Florida State, right?

Like Oregon, Texas won really comfortably the day before. Michigan doesn't really count. They're playing Ohio State. I'm saying in that group of contenders, Florida State was nowhere near as gruesome as Alabama. That is, yes. And this is their only game with a backwood quarterback so far. They looked by those standards.

Good. They did, but they're still probably going to get screwed. I would say I I'm not I'm less worried about it for I would say it would require a special performance by one of those one of those bubble teams for it's even become a real discussion I just the door is open if Alabama does the thing then all bets are off right that's what we're looking at uh well no okay we already talk about this I don't know maybe I don't remember what do you but what's what's your argument there so we'd have a one loss no not your argument i want to hear allies are my argument is the version of ryan's which is that you mentioned them wanting cover the committee does not want on like a deep limbic level the committee does not want the pairings that make the most sense they want the most bulletproof arguments because they don't want to be yelled at yes yes so and i that's why i think florida will

McFord of State will make it in at 13-0 because all the committee has to say is 13-0. That is the least work for them and so what is what they will choose. Yeah, I agree. Like, I mean, we look at last year where TCU was like, are they actually one of the four best teams or

do they have this record in all these wins? So they're in and yeah, sure, great. They're in. And that's the team that lost, that's the team that lost its conference title game. Yeah. So like the number of times we've had these doubts and we've worried they're going to put in Alabama instead, it has never unfairly happened.

Yeah, we talk about it. We talk about this on Saturday night, I think. We fuss about this every year, and it doesn't ever actually happen, and then we forget about it, and we fuss about it. Well, my point is I have never fussed about this, but this year I have a tiny bit of worry. That's what I'm saying. I'm saying, for me, it's a new thing. I do think, and it may not be Florida State, I do think the only clean scenario, and we probably

talked about this as well, and I apologize if we're rehashing us. The only clean scenario is the four currently undefeated power conference winners went out. That's the only clean one. Everything else presents some degree of difficulty. Yes. And I think it is more likely than not. Just the fact that Oregon is favored and the spread is not that big in Georgia Bama. Like it feels more likely than not that for the first time in a while,

there is going to be an actual hard choice for the committee to make, which they almost never, like, one of the advantages that they have had is that the hard choice is usually like, ah, somebody's got to get the fourth spot. It's not usually who of these equally deserving candidates should get the fourth spot. Yeah. And I mean, to this point, all of their number four choices have been right. They just have.

Like, in the time, in the moment, you can, you can, like, retroactive, say oh this team had a good bowl game therefore they should have gotten but in my opinion in the moment their number four choices were right every time this is the first one where i'm waiting to see the choice before i will also temper their dramatically changed makeup with this florida state that staff they're real good at making shit up on the fly like i watch them completely adjust a game plan around a guy and make adjustments mid not just mid game but early in that game around Tate Road to Maker and change the kind of football they played. If they do get picked, it'd be dumb to write them off. They're still really, really good top to bottom. I think that's

probably true. I think the question I have, and the thing I really think will be tricky, I do not know what seating looks like. Usually we also go into this with a pretty good sense of, like, here's what the seating should look like. And even if it's not that chaotic, I think, this will be a very tricky year to seed the playoff frankly i mean we almost always know number one yes and here we have a situation where michigan tonight should be number one um folks you're hearing this after they either are or aren't uh and then is georgia beating a better opponent in an cc title game enough to move georgia past michigan again and this is a year where that could be very consequential right and like if florida state doesn't get screwed in terms of getting out

I think they will get dumbed to the forespot. I do think that feels very likely that their record will, to Holly's point, they will have the bulletproofness of like you get in, but they will ding them and be like, you're not getting a preferable seed here. Absolutely. So that will be fun. And then next year, we won't have to worry about this. We'll be arguing over. Next year, we'll be like, who's going to stop the Arizona Wildcats? From here on out, it's where do you put Penn State?

James Franklin million dollar bonus off that 12th scene it will be a little funny it will be a little funny if we expand the playoff and Penn State keeps missing it in that number 13 every year yeah they they lost two what are the back 12 schools again now

they're number 12th and it turns out oh there's a conference auto bid sorry number 17 gets in yep yeah let's see FCS check-in. Let's go with Delaware, Montana. Delaware, the conference USA moving up.

Yeah. Going to be stomped by Montana. So get the fuck out. Paying a lot of money to move up, too. That's whatever, man. Whatever. Do your thing. North Dakota State, Montana State will also draw a lot of eyeballs.

Go big sky, as always. Yeah. Always big sky. The only conference. I just want to put out there because a lot of people have tagged me about it. I don't want to be the Pop-Tart. I appreciate the people

I appreciate that people are tagging me in this, but I just don't want to be the Pop-Tart. Do you want your daughter to be the Pop-Tart? Oh, no. She'll be eaten. Spencer, what do you think the Pop-Tart means? The actual Pop-Tart at the end of the... No, no, no, I'm referring to the Pop-Tart that is going to be...

Edible? Edible. Is that the Pop-Tart that you think we're talking about? don't know. The Midsomark Pop-Tard. Yeah, that's what I'm the horrifying Midsom, I'm, I have been, I have been like completely terrified

about this scenario. I need to go to bed. Yeah, you need to go to bed. What other pop-tart? You need to get you some night. Well, there's, there's, there's just a costume. So there's a non-edible pop chart and then they bring out. Everything is edible once. Everything is edible if you believe. Yeah. Um, but no, I, I don't.

I, if asked, I will not run. If elected, I will not, I will not dress up. Wait, Jason, what about your daughter? So it's tricky because, like, you don't want to sign someone up for the, for the non-edible job and then find out that wearing the wrong costume. That's scary to me. Okay, so who do we? Alex Kirshner.

Yep. Alex, will you do it, buddy? Hashtag Pop and Kirsch. Hey, Alex. if you don't want to if you don't want to be the pop tar tweet at me by the end of the day even though this hasn't come out yet by the end of tuesday end of every 28 aha i'm gus johnson what if he does i'm being eaten what if he does i do think gus johns should give car names to everybody at this point for tempo dave he sprung mazarin out of nowhere

And then after like two weeks, I'm like, fine, sure, that's a mausretti bar. Of course it is. A bad dude. When I'm watching World War II documentary, so I'm like, uh-oh, there he is. The world famous asshole. You old so-and-so. That rascal. Big fella!

It was framing hairs rascally. That's a good word. Yeah. Like, why can't Kyle McCord get a nickname? That's all. They call him Honda McCord. Honda McCord. Honda McCord.

Woody.