Shutdown Fullcast - Not Quite Blood Week - Week 4 Review

Episode Date: September 24, 2018

Ryan didn't watch very much football this weekend, so his helpful and not at all hostile friends Holly, Spencer, and Jason stepped up to give him an understanding of how yes, that was how many points Mississippi State scored and no, the Stanford and Washington wins were not in any way similar and yes, TCU and Oklahoma State both lost and no, there is no good explanation for what happened in the Old Dominion-Virginia Tech game. Learn more about your ad choices. Visit megaphone.fm/adchoices Learn more about your ad choices. Visit podcastchoices.com/adchoices

Welcome to the shutdown forecast. This is the internet's only college football podcast. And that's important because it is the only place where I can tell someone what happened in week four, someone who didn't actually watch much of week four in college football, someone who needs things explained because I think there are some things that would be hard to explain to somebody who was irresponsible and did not devote 12 to 14 to 16 hours of their Saturday to watch every single game all the way from Louisville UVA, extremely important game, all the way through, I don't know, Eastern Michigan, San Diego State,

which ended, I believe, at 1.45 a.m. with a San Diego State victory in overtime. How did I know that? I watched them all for you. So did Jason Kirk. so did Holly Hey y'all can just say hi at any time hey

hey I agree I watched all that stuff too I can confirm Spencer's not lying I agree that there were many games that's a hot take but we're going to let you we're going to let you skate on that

all 130 teams played hard except for Louisville No they Yeah No we won't talk about the other team that didn't play hard Ryan Nanny As always joining us from godless It's not godless

I'm sorry Our god is artisanal mayonnaise Our god is an oily god Our god is an oily god He reigns from spread Spreadin above I'm sorry I'll leave

You had You had family business So Ryan has a family Ryan has a family Yeah so you know that thing Where every fall Football season starts

Always about to start And a certain portion of the internet Rises up to say No fall weddings Nobody get married in fall Love is reserved for the other seasons commitment. Your only commitment is to your school, which doesn't care about you and only wants some small portion of your money unless you're very rich in which they want almost all of it.

I agree that the militants in this are weird. Counterpoint, I once missed LSU Bama and a USC Oregon game in the same night because I had to be in a full mass wedding in Cincinnati. I mean, but here's the thing. It is bad that you had to be in Cincinnati. Yeah, yeah, thank you. A full mass wedding in Cincinnati isn't good any time of year. It's not like, oh, it was spring. Oh, shut down full mass. We should do this in a church.

Yeah, I was going to say, what about a full cast wedding in Cincinnati? Well, y'all are going to, you're going without me because I've been to Cincinnati once and that's enough. They got a decent zoo. I thought it was the Catholicism, though, was going to turn you off. But here we are. No, no, no. That's, come on, that's, that's ironic now. Fair, fair.

I walk in. You got to get on this ironic Cincinnati. Ironic Cincinnati. If I wanted Kentucky... We're on post-Sincinnati. It's Kentucky with the bridge. That's my favorite Bill Belichick quote. We're on a post-Sincinnati.

We're on to Lexington. Lexington's kind of hot this year. I like that Spencer can just roll into the church a little bit tipsy, and based on the way he looks right now, be like, I'm cosplaying as Noah. It's fine. You can't get mad. We're going to do the part where I get naked and my son's laugh at me. It's my favorite part in the Bible, period. There is no better story in the Bible.

I thought you're going to say it's my favorite part of each afternoon. It is. Kids, come on, do you know how much little boys would respond to? Okay, listen, we have to build a huge boat in our backyard. Yay! And then we got to go get all of the animals. Yay! Little boys would have the worst.

list of animals to take right they would have they would take nothing useful you'd go well listen we should probably salamanders get salamanders get salamanders two hyenas salamanders here no they wouldn't take salamanders Brian that's how I know you have that's how I know you don't have sons right because salamanders are too they're too tame that little boys are gonna take like they'll be like cockroaches cockroaches they're super tough yeah It'll be like, it won't be like puppy dogs. It'll be like, a dog we found in the storm green. It chewed a hole in the wall of our house and it only answers to Leon.

Yeah, that's, that's... Dad, we love him. We have to keep him. We should take two cats. Yeah, cats, sure, go ahead. Take two cats. These are cats we found at a medical institute. Okay, cool.

They glow. One of them's a wolf. yeah little boys are going to take the dumbest assortment of things they're going to take like they'll be like we need two bees and you go bees don't come and you just yeah okay so we need a hive no that's not god this is just we got one squirrel yeah this is why people in the bible killed their families all the time is that why abraham was like oh you want me to absolutely 100% let's go i got i've been waiting for this opportunity say no more finally they would pick they would pick things that they had seen washed up on the beach right that's that's basically kids encounters with animals are did i see it in a zoo and like it right like we would take nothing cool there's a bald eagle in the zoo my kids no interest the carrion eating crane with a horrifying waddle and a beak that looks like a scythe that's like gigantic and has legs that

are as weathered as the desiccated bark of an African, like, scrub tree, that horrifying thing, both of my sons are like, we'll take that! Yeah, but once the bees kill all the other animals on your ark, you're going to want that carrion eating cream, so it's useful. Yeah, no, it's going to be the only animal left. The bees are just sitting there, like, piling venom into it, and it's like immune. Don't care. It's like a gentle breeze to me.

It's fine. to our college football podcast. Yeah. So, yes. Ryan has a wife and child and has earned our scorn. She said child turned two years old yesterday, and that meant we had to have a small, but somewhat meaningful birthday party for her.

And that meant that that knocked out a significant chunk of the day, either preparing for the party, hosting the party, or just feeling incredibly tired at the end of the party, and not wanting to, you know, do anything. even watch college football. And I say this because no fall weddings, that's fine. That's one thing. Maybe you feel strongly about it.

Maybe you don't. But weddings, by and large, can be sort of planned to your liking. No fall babies? Listen, man, that's a whole, you know, if you think you can control it that precisely. Wait, you didn't even try to control it? No, this is why it's funny. you say that you can't control it. Spencer managed to have both of his kids within like two weeks of the Super Bowl.

Yeah. Got the whole offseason to get him out of Larva stage. That was inadvertently coordinated, but it happened. I'm sorry that you're so virile, Ryan, that you had problems with this. Anyway, we can talk about Texas TCU, maybe? I don't know. So, listen, what are we doing the ad read from men with low testosterone? Because Ryan can't relate, and one of us should probably do it.

Yeah, it'd be me. I'll just, I'll just pile in there. Hey, everybody. Yeah. You know, I'm like the, I'm like, uh, like the Vols football program. I got low T. You said. We're not talking about the game.

There was no game involving that program. this weekend. It's not one. This is a salt you can hear. She's slapping you, isn't she? How stupid are you? How stupid are you to bring up that game? One of the few games that I actually paid even some attention to.

He told me, I didn't want to do the show today, and he told me we weren't going to talk about it. We didn't. I'm happy to not talk about it. Okay? Okay. So Ryan. So I made a list of eight results that I have almost no context for. Some I saw a little bit, or some I read a little bit about.

But by and large, I don't know anything about these games. And I just want you all to explain them to me as if I am the dumb virile, apparently, man-boy that I am. And I'm going to start here. Our big overly productive, idiot with no attention span, just going around spawning. It was a very nice birthday party. In any event. Oklahoma 28, Army 21 in overtime. What happened here?

Game of the year. The best, listen, Ryan, we have so much to explain to you about this game. So, so much to explain about it. Jason, Jason, start. I'm going to set a timer, by the way. The timer is, the timer is an important element in this, but Jason's going to do the initial setup for you. and for anyone who did not get to watch this game, which is most of you,

unless you did what we did, which was hack the web. Absolutely incredible. We hacked the web. We got on the dark web. The dark web. So in the Big 12, each school has one of its games

that it is free to basically sell. This is because of the Longhorn network. Texas's spare game is tied up and everyone else just sort of shops them around to the highest bidder. Oklahoma still does the pay-per-view thing

which means this particular game, if you wanted to watch it legally, it was going to set you back $55 to watch Oklahoma as a 31-point favorite against the troops. It comes to halftime, and I believe they're tied at

halftime. The game was never more than a touchdown difference between the two. It gets into the start of the fourth quarter and they're tied. And everyone sort of realizes, like, oh, shit, we should watch this. And there wasn't a whole ton going on at the time. So everyone sort of scrambles to find streams. Some of us went to Reddit streams.

Other folks went to a Twitch stream or a Twitch stream and I think a Periscope that were like dueling very, very popular. They both had like tens of thousands of views. The Twitch stream was a delight. Is that the one where the guy showed his feet? Broadcasting on his feet. Yeah, yeah. Okay.

Yes. there was a guy in Oklahoma broadcasting and people were on there and you should understand that one he had an extremely East Oklahoma accent which was I don't care if y'all get this shut down I'm gonna keep going some men people were asking show us your feet for this y'all gonna get a show yeah we are quoting verbatim from this dude beautiful who's a legend like it's third down it doesn't matter they ain't got it I can't wait until all of his comments are read back at his depth position when he gets sued. I will, I will, what, does he need a character witness? I'm going to step forward. I thought his feet were lovely. Who's going to get mad at him? Army football needs the support.

And Oklahoma doesn't want people to remember this almost happen. But maybe that's why they'll try to claw it back. This was private. You broadcasts our weird sex tape. This was, this was a tantric sex tape if you were an Army fan. Okay. It was extremely, by the way, two minutes and 40 seconds into this conversation. That is the length of Oklahoma's first scoring drive in this game to go up 7-0.

Only two minutes and 40 seconds. Continue. Do do, do, do, do, do, do. Okay, so I'm going to ask some pointed questions. What was time of possession? We're asking ourselves what time of possession is, too, after watching this game. Yeah. What even is time of possession?

I'm going to tell you it was lopsided. How about that? Okay. Yeah, what you should know is this, okay, that on a night where there are 60 minutes in a football game, okay? 60 minutes. They got to be divided somehow. I want you to just, if I told you that Army had 40 minutes of possession, to Oklahoma's 20, would you believe me?

I guess I would. I mean, if Oklahoma scored that quickly, but also didn't score that much, it feels like they were probably... Like Spencer's testosterone, I would say that's a little low. Damn. Damn.

You see, you brought up the Tennessee game. Look, this is just going to be the rest of the episode for you. That's fine. That's fine. People love this. No, the best part... I didn't even see most of the game, which is the best part.

I turned it off at 7-0, because I had seen everything I needed. That's why Holly is the smartest person associated with this podcast. Yes, I would believe 20 to 40. Yes. Yeah, you should not believe me. Okay. Because the actual number in that was.

I've never told a lie on this podcast. Mm-hmm. Oklahoma had 15 minutes and 19 seconds of possession. Army had 44 minutes and 41 seconds of total possession on the way. to racking up 26 first downs and on the way to converting 13 of 21 third down opportunities. So, but how did they only score 28 points then?

Time of possession, because I'm going to give you the times of each Army scoring drive and regulation. Okay. Okay. Or their first three. Their first three were nine minutes and 13. Oh, God, okay. Eight minutes and 54 seconds.

Speed up. Great, speeding up. And their third... Oh, just wait. Their third. Which was a 10-minute and 47-second drive. Jesus Christ. To score.

And then in the fourth, when around the time everyone was tuning in, they went on another 10-minute drive that everyone just knew, oh, man, this is going to be the one that seals it. This is going to be the greatest shit I've ever seen. and it's illegal also and it's also for America we're stealing for America but then they threw an intercept damn during that I think like about an 11 minute drive yeah

yeah 19 they're they're that 10 minute 47 second one that 19 plays the one that ended with an interception regulation 17 plays 10 minutes off the clock leisurely strolling up to the line also we had looked up earlier in the day

the longest do you know the longest drive in NCAA history anyone I feel like I really want to know this I feel like we look this up a while ago but I don't remember what it was so go ahead 26 plays by Navy in a bowl game and it ended it ended with a field goal that was that was in a bowl game, wasn't it? It was about, I'm not sure exactly which game, it was about 14 years ago, I think. I remember, I remember, I think we talked about this in a

bowl preview, which is why I bring it up. I think it was against Texas Tech. Maybe. Sure. I believe. It is. It is now. Because at one point, if you want to know the like sweet and sour the magical sweet and sour combination of two opposing styles that equaled some real magic, that would be a Mike Leach-era

Texas Tech team. playing a Paul Johnson Navy team. Two coaches who in talking to each other, I bet, understood three words the other said, and who play completely diametrically opposed brands of football in a bowl game. And I believe that bowl game was one of the ones where the bell ringer was caught at hip level,

ringing the bell. Thus the famous gift of the bell ringer looking like he was pleasuring himself into the ball. Again, like Ryan, overly virile. Just Our big Johnny Apple seat of a boy The only lesson I'm taking from this episode Is that I shouldn't do the podcast anymore

I see what you're doing Okay Okay Finally as long as I thought So that's what was going through my mind As like 17 play driving They're at the 30 It's like oh my God

They're going to have the longest drive in football history To beat Oklahoma while on the dark web This is the greatest moment in football history It was all building to this But alas Oklahoma ruined it Oklahoma hates the troops. Army covered, but Oklahoma hates the troops.

Middle America turned on the military. Jesus. Chicken sandwiches, everything. Yeah. Also, we learned this, that, honestly, the drop-off from professional commentary on a football game to one guy named Dave or whatever his name was in Oklahoma, pointing his camera at it.

I hate to tell you, ESPN, you're overpaying a lot of people. Hurtful. I ain't never seen Kirk Herb Street's feet. Herb feet. That's true. Do you want to? Not at all. Okay, because, but I imagine the request makes him uncomfortable.

Just check your DMs about a day after we release this episode. Oh, no. Would you say that it would make him turn red? Yeah, I would imagine. This would be quite a ruddy, a ruddy occasion. All right. I would like to now have you all explain two scores in tandem, if that's okay. Okay.

Stanford 38. That's four scores. Yes. Like Abe Lincoln said. Who also, well, I guess he did hate some of the troops. We'll get to that. Yeah. Stanford 38, Oregon 31, and Washington 27, Arizona State 20.

each game decided by one touchdown each game seems like it was close but the favored team the higher ranked team won please tell me what I should learn if anything from these two results these games were completely opposite they arrived at a seven point

margin in which the favored team won by I don't think you could have two more different approaches. Washington ASU was, Washington was just sort of holding, you know, like the taller kid holding the little kid have their head on the forehead while the little kid is swinging, you know? And they can't quite, they don't quite have the reach to connect. That was this game. And no, Washington, just, just keeping ASU at arm's length. At no point, at no point, by the way, was this dishonest. Washington was obviously doing that, phoning it in, trying to minimize and shorten the game

and keeping everything in front of them because they knew Arizona State could not get a big play on them. So they just sort of pinned them down and held them to that. By the way, important note, here at this mark in the podcast, the time since we talked about the Army game,

their shortest scoring drive? Right now. Right now. That eight-minute drive? Yeah, that's how long it took them to get down the field. From the minute we started talking about the Army, game it kind of look like um Arizona state is I'm impressed in just one year they're

incredibly Herm Edwards like they're really boring how do they I mean how do they get boring because they're not we did have a fun couple minutes thinking about how funny it would be if Herman Edwards knocked the pack 12 out of the playoff in like it's all he did in his first four games but like they're like Arizona State is like the most like big fundamentals team and in this game Washington just kind of look like super Arizona State which shouldn't be a surprise like we all saw the Arbor game we all saw the Utah game they're not going to score a lot of points they just want they just want enough points is all they want so that was this game it was there was like it was almost like um

formality type drama at the end where it's like yeah sure it's close let's Well, you know, okay. We all know what's going to. Whereas Stanford, Oregon, that was some crazy-ass shit. That is easily one of the craziest games of the year so far. Yeah. So. Yeah, Spencer, take it away.

What you should know is that Oregon hopped on and Justin Herbert did not miss the pass for the better part of three and a half to four quarters. And I say, he's very good. He's exceptional. He's a delight. You should also know that Oregon's offensive line, real. like very large very mean very very physical as the coach just like to say yeah no they that was live and it was great but you know what oregon did uh in stuffing stanford making them look real bad held them to under a hundred yards rushing which if you'd ask me i would have said ah i thought

they at least got a hundred nope 71 man price love only had 89 yards but uh here's the problem Oregon can't defend the pass real well and that's how KJ Costello had 327 yards passing there is a very important sequence in this game and if you if you watched it an absolute disaster for Oregon this is at the point where it is 20 let's see it is 24 let's see 14

at this point of 24-7 and what should have happened is that after Oregon drives down the field again with some really great like just great offense like they looked fantastic

until they got to third and goal and there was a fumble and at the four and at the four-yard line you say oh well how far can a fumble go 96 yards went all the way back all the way back and what should have been

a 317 lead becomes 24 14 Stanford Clause back with a really nice drive through passing and that's how we get to OT oh wait wait Jason I'm forgetting I'm forgetting one thing Oregon forgot how to end the game yeah the uh if you look at the ESPN win projection chart you know how they do the little roller coaster it goes all the way to 100 for Oregon and then after the um the 14 point swing the pylon fumble and then the actual fumble or they're kicking the pylon play and then the fumble return it spikes back toward the middle and then it goes all the way back down to oregon 100% victory probability again uh and then yeah Oregon's trying to run out the clock they could have kneeled and had herbert you know

do just waste some time wandering around in the backfield and they could have punted it and given stanford at best a hail mary that kind of thing instead they decided let's just go for the first down to shut this thing down, which there was a lot of second-guessing about that because we all saw what happened, which was, dude sticks his arm across the first down marker, boom, game-clinched, game-over, fumbles. With his hand, across the first down line, he fumbles.

So, yeah, that's easy to second-guess at that point because we all saw what happened. So the Pact 12 North is just going to eat itself this year. Yeah. Mm-hmm. And the Pact 12 South, Arizona. state is going to ruin everyone. Already has, yes.

Yeah, already has. That's great. It's awesome. Cool. Unless Stanford runs the table. It's not. I just don't. You're not going to get that lucky again.

Then again, are they going to play anybody as good as Oregon? You're going to play Washington, and boy, won't that be exciting. Washington losing two wide receivers to the NFL really dented their watchability. hard. They only had two exciting players. And half the problem is like all their all their like super stud athletes

you know, they're all in the secondary now. So like you ain't scoring on them either. Yeah, the only touched out, the only guys who can really like catch long passes for TDs or DBs. And that's, that doesn't make for real great watching especially. Although I have taken remember, I'm just going to make the best of every

team watching and see what they're doing, right? Like, what is this team trying to do? Washington is trying to win by keeping the game slow and playing really great defense and running the ball and taking Jake Browning and just making the best of it, man, which is ridiculous because he's Washington's like career leader in TDs. And Jake Browning, um, Jake Browning sometimes does things on a football field that I just, you know, when you go, oh man, what quarterback does that remind you of? And I'm like, Guernica by Picasso, like, I don't, I don't know why he does certain things. I don't know why he does scram. He's not that fast. Someone needs to pull him aside and tell him he's not

that fast. He's one of those quarterbacks. Okay, I'm going to skip to one that I think is easier to explain, but sad. UNC 38, Pittsburgh 35. Is Pitt bad? Pitt's always bad. And always good. Good. But UNC is really bad. Yeah, Pitt's trash. Pitt's going to beat Notre Dame. We all know this. We didn't learn anything here. This is fine. UNC, I think, still has like 10 suspended players. That's fine. It's doing great.

Pitt is exactly what you need them to be at any moment. No worries about Pitt. No, part of the plan. All part of the plan. All part of the plan. Lost UNC's JV team, Notre Dame. Oh, my God. You're shaking right now. Okay. I can do that. I'm going to save the most alarming one for last

and instead, this is also somewhat alarming Kentucky 28 Mississippi State 7 I got an answer for you Hold on, let me back up first Is that, is the 7 right? That's not an ESPN fuck-up? That's correct. That happened.

Yeah, that's correct. Sure, shooting. How, what? Well, this is one of the stories that you can't tell without starting with. Well, it turns out, buddy you don't just walk into the Kroger and leave with more than seven

you walk into Kroger you're gonna get a Roger in yeah do you know why you know when I walk into a Kroger I think there's a human thing where you can really only remember how one grocery store is laid out right yeah and when they switch it on you you're done oh there's one left-handed public's in this town and it drives me up a fucking wall right it's like it's like your own they have the vegetables on the left and is not right. What's your favorite episode of Westworld? The one where I go into the left-handed Publix.

Now, I think they're trying to unify all the Publixes now. Publissies. Publice. Which I think is even more confusing because, like, you know, you'd sort of mapped out, like, okay, I know where the stuff is in this one. I know where the stuff is in that one. Have you been to this time after, like, off cascades? Those plans are all wrong.

It's disconcerted. Oh, I've been to all. sorts of layouts. I'm a man of the world, aren't I? I forgot about your public privilege. I'm a traveler. It's like trying to pick your favorite

golden eye map. I won't do it, so quit ask it. That's why I don't go to food line. Body armor doesn't work. I cannot tell you any reason this happened other than this.

Kentucky's good, y'all. They're a good football team. I'm not saying great they're good they're a really good football team and they don't do anything they can't do and in addition to that I think if you get

if you get skunked as you know like to a single score by Kentucky then this might be the market correction on Mississippi State because I don't know maybe getting 400 yards of rushing a game on you know competition

that can't they can't punch back like Kentucky basically what I'm saying is that they went into the Kroger and like everybody else that goes into the Kroger completely confused, disoriented lost. Their normal They got Albert Sunned. They did get the normal acquisition rate per minute of 3.8

items that you achieve at Publix doing decisively because you know where everything is, right? Gone. Staggering, wondering, where are the bars? Can I ask? I think Mississippi State was just respecting the limits of the express lane. Mississippi State learned the only thing that works at Kroger is a self-

Check out. Now get your ass gone. Can I ask something of the SEC East Partisans in this group and Jason too if he feels like answering? Is it more like not emotionally, but like not upsetting, but is it more disconcerting to your sense of the universe that Kentucky might be good at football like generic Kentucky might be good football or that Mike Mark Stoops might have built a successful football program at Kentucky? like which one is more the former unsettling the former hmm i feel like i feel like it's the latter for me i think they both make sense fine just because mark stoop's just i mean to me um conjures extremely oklahoma voice and kentucky is basically oklahoma or ohio excuse me i said did i say oklahoma i said i meant ohio and there's enough like to explain what mark stoop's has done well like they've recruited reasonably well

and they have you know they play a seemingly a more disciplined brand of football than they had in years past the Joker Phillips is not part of the staff anymore that's an important Mark Stoops accomplishment which Florida did

not advise itself of but yeah the Kentucky just goodness part yeah that's the weirder it's sort of like James Franklin in Vanderbilt in retrospect it's not weird that James Franklin built Vanderbilt into like a competitive SEC school. It was weird that Vanderbilt was a competitive SEC school.

I think the other thing too that we should have seen coming is that a good team, you just have people with awesome names, look like that's inevitable, right? Benny Snell, the lineman named Bunchy Stallings on this team. Are we going to discuss Benny Snell's tweet? I don't know if that's Benny Snell for sure. I think it's, I think it's Benny Snell. Yeah, it is. It's Benny Snell in my name.

heart okay yeah that's his account the tweet he he puts a he did the same after he beat uh after they beat florida put up him a shop of himself as a gator wrangler um and this time he put himself up uh toting around a bulldog like it was a football it's so cute yeah it was very cute also uh benny snell had 165 yards and 4 TDs he's a beast they get also this came after a week of jawing with Mississippi State's running back. Kentucky Talks some shit, by the way. Kentucky runs their mouth.

Guy named Benny Snell, guy named Bunchy. A guy named Cash. A guy named Cash. Come on. This is a very likable team. These are just extremely on an all-new justified names.

On an all-new justified. Benny Snell and them crowboys. Went up to line houses. Benny and Cash. So even though I haven't watched it I've determined that this game is message board karma Because I'm sure Mississippi State fans were thrilled To see Dan Mullen go to Gainesville

And the Kentucky streak end And I feel like this is just like Ah, well, here you are I'm told in this week In Shodden Freud I have you say that word It's not a real word That Mississippi State fans went hard this week

So everyone can go read that post Yeah, you know one thing that, you know, there's a lot of conjecture that follows after a game. People, you know, saying things without maybe looking at the data or anything. Ryan, when you go, man, how did that happen? Well, when I tell you what the Kentucky defense did to their rushing attack, 56 yards. I'm sorry, what? I'm sorry, what? Yards on the ground.

Like a left-handed produce department. Yeah. I'm telling you. I've only moved 56 yards and I've only gotten three items on a 488 item list for the week. Good luck, Mississippi State. I'm never going to win supermarket sweep. Just grab the turkeys. I can't find the turkeys.

They don't sweep, Kroger. all right um texas tech 41 oklahoma state 17 again is the 17 correct yeah i saw that number uh listed elsewhere so i didn't watch any of this i watched i watched a good bit yeah i think i think i ended up watching about a half right most pretty funny mostly the ass kicking half right and you should know this uh i don't know what david gibbs like drew up but Taylor Cornelius was not reading any of it

like I don't I don't know if his receivers were completely covered but he was just he was not seeing the matrix what's the opposite of the matrix that's what Taylor Cornelis were seeing you see in the simulation

it's the part where like the nanobots form a face of a baby that is robot god yeah when that one happens at the end yeah Taylor Cornelius was like, hello, robot, baby God.

Here, I'm going to throw a two-yard check down. Yeah, that was, that was what he was doing. He did not have a real good game. Also, like, Justice Hill. Justice Hill got 12 carries, which I know you were behind, but Justice Hill should probably get more than 12 carries because your boy was averaging 9 a carry. Yeah.

Texas Tech, I don't know if they have a good defense. their defense after one week against Oklahoma State, I feel real secure in saying, yeah, that defense is poison for the Cowboys because they didn't know what to do with it. The rest of it, too, by the way, this is how close Texas Tech is to being good at any point, right? You should go, oh, wow, they've got 75% of a defense.

And what about the offense? Fine. It's just fine. It's absolutely fine. Although I would point out they had the unholy number of the same number of rushes as the same number of passes. Blasphemy. Ugh. It's not Red Raider football.

Take that shit back to the Big East. Texas 31, TCU, 16. What is... The Big 12... The Big 12 had a little bit of a sour tummy, it seems like. That's a great way of putting it. They were colloquy. This is a colloquy weekend for the Big 12.

The Big 12 was just green face emoji all day. I mean, it was, I know we really enjoy, this is one of my favorite things about having a relatively short season for the sport period, and especially for college football, is making grand assumptions about a conference based on one week, right? Like, you know, out of the Big Ten, like, wow, three teams won, the rest of them lost. And you're like, oh, God, conference is trash. Absolute trash. And they win all of their games the next week, and who notices? No one. Absolutely no one.

I mean, I know Nebraska didn't win. I feel very confident. That's not, boy, does that really cover it? Did they ever not win? That doesn't really cover what happened to Nebraska, but let's explain TCU Texas first before we get to that. And Jason, how much of this game did you watch, Jason? Uh, I tried, I tried to have it as my main thing until Army Oklahoma was popping off. So, sorry, sorry, Texas.

I didn't watch a glorious moment. I was too busy. Well, I wasn't giving money to Oklahoma. I was stealing money from Oklahoma. So there you go. It's all good. But they themselves are thieves. It's in the name.

They can't get mad. Oh, damn. Sorry. I was participating in Oklahoma's favorite activity. Sorry, Texas. Bandwidth themes. So, according to, to Bill C's numbers.

This was the number two turnover's luck game of the week. Texas is greatly benefited from some friendly bounces. Granted, 15 points is quite a margin anyway, but it should have been quite a bit closer. That's my only insight here. Yeah, Texas.

Texas did look good. And TCU, two weeks in a row, they've showed, like, they've just had like rapid collapses two weeks in a row, they've had really tight games against more talented teams. Yes, I'm fine calling Texas

more talented team than TCU and just all of a sudden it was no longer close. Yeah, I think like the game plan if you're playing TCU is just sit on them if you're bigger. Just sit on them in the fourth quarter because they're not going to be able

to fight their way out. And that's what happened. Like the fourth quarter, when you look at a team, you go, oh man Texas just looks bigger they did a Texas look good

I mean they when you say they look good they didn't really a good football team no they just they didn't have like a spectacular day offensively

like that's still I think a project at best in terms of especially in terms of the run game they just don't have anything super consistent

but you know what they can do they can play defense they kick pretty well and when they have to really slow the game down they're real good at slowing the game down and beat you up so I just wish I could go back a week

and tell a TCU fan at a casino hey before you make your bets I'm going to tell you right now you're not going to score as many points as Oklahoma State but you're going to score twice as many plus as Mississippi State and see what they do well first of all that's an equation so I need a moment? Sure. Sorry. If I'm figuring it out. Yep. Yep. Yep. I wouldn't have taken it. Okay. Mostly because I wouldn't figure the math out correctly. I know. I know. I wouldn't have taken it.

I appreciate your honesty. And that's the other reason why you can't build a boat. No. If you're TCU, you just say like, we're going to score. Okay. Coach P's got this. He's going to shut the, however many we score, you know, Coach P will hold them, hold them below that number. We're fine. All right, let me, let me do my last game. And I. Old Dominion 49, Virginia Tech 35. This one made me really sad. Yeah, man.

ODIU just bombs the thing. All right. Who is ODIU's coach and when is Florida State hiring him? Something wilder. Is it Bobby Wilder? Yep Jeb Wilder Jeb Wilder

Jeb! Yeah, so Okay, Spencer, let me ask you a question. Okay. Of those 49 points, how many of them are scored by the defense or special teams?

Of the 49 points, let me make sure my rat, none. None. Okay. None. Seven TDs for Old Dominion. All seven came as a result directly of an offensive player crossing the threshold.

There were no pick sixes. There was nothing of that matter. In fact, in terms of turnover luck, don't look for any because Virginia Tech only had one. O'DU didn't have any. That'd be a margin of, you know, one score? Yeah, no, that wasn't about this at all. Now, maybe you're saying, oh, what was it about? Maybe ODU had something that worked.

There was some serious injuries on Virginia Tech side, and maybe they got out to an early lead, and Virginia Tech just kind of woke up and, like, failed in the comeback. No, no, dog. No. No. Nine. Fourth quarter?

Odie, you dropped 28 on them in the fourth quarter. Jesus, are you kidding me? Are you kidding me? No, Odie, you dropped 28. It was an outright ass kicking. It was not gamed away from Virginia Tech by like scrappy upstart moves. Yeah. 28 in the fourth quarter.

And to refresh my memory, how many points did Florida State score total against Virginia Tech? Trace. Mm-hmm. So my favorite part of this game was fourth quarter. old dominion is clearly they're they're just slinging the rock all over the all over the yard without really much much difficulty and they get to this point where you know you know like certain sports fans they do the uh oh scored too fast thing which is just obnoxious nanny state bullshit it's funny every time it's funny absolutely every time points are good you nerds stop crying about points stop point shaming and And ODU did that to take a touchdown lead. 42.35 and then, oh, no, score too fast. Fucking dorks.

O'DU gets the ball back. So what do they do here? They're driving, they're driving. First down. Kill the clock. First down. Run that clock down. Hell no, fuck that.

We're going for the end zone. We're going to score again. Put a totally unnecessary touchdown on that actually made the game slightly less likely to be one. Like. a 40 yarder instead of just salt in the thing away they said fuck you we're old dominion

we're going for the end zone it was one of the glorious it was like it was one of the most like you know fuck your math get points moments I've ever seen good for by the way like good for them

because they lost like let me put this in context they lost all three of their games prior to facing Virginia Tech they lost to Liberty. They lost a Charlotte

and they lost to FI.U. Right? Just one opened mouth like toss into the great like poo gutter of college football, right? Just just one terrible beginning.

And suddenly they find themselves in a position with Virginia Tech playing at ODU by the way at Foreman Field which looks pretty much what you would imagine it to look like like not even an overgrown high school stadium nope that's a high school stadium that's not even a texas high school football stadium because those are bigger and they find themselves with the whoop and stick in hand and virginia tech prone and not really aware of where

it is uh yeah they they did it they did all of it they did whatever they could to exercise three horrible losses and a terrible start. I don't know what, I don't really know what happened. I know that they were thin on defense. You know, we've had pretty good explanations for every other game for you, Ryan. Yeah, yeah.

You know, here systematically this is what happened or they had some injuries or in the case of Army, you just go, ah, Mike Stoops. But here it's just, here it's God fell asleep on the keyboard. I mean, TD, TD, Tee, Tee, Tee, Tee, Tee, Tee, what? Oh, no.

Cut and paste, cut and paste. Yeah, I mean, I don't, I don't know if, I know there's secondary thin. And we've been saying, right? Like, I guess maybe this is what the great takeaway is here. When you go, I don't know, is this a result so weird, you can't actually take anything moving forward. I don't think so. I think you can actually take some stuff out of this for Virginia Tech moving forward because it's pretty obvious. this at this point that initially there were concerns about depth in the secondary right

ah okay that's fine they did a bang up job against florida state it turns out that data may have been misleading that may not have been the test of your secondary or defense anyone on your defense that you thought it might be going into the season then they just played william and mary and had a game postponed right so i think we all kind of left on hey maybe there are serious issues in the secondary there but but but you wouldn't have guessed old dominion would be the like yes no right you've identified the cause but that's like saying like oh yes uh well we discovered this this aircraft carrier had a few design issues and it's like it got it ran over a dingy and capsized what the shit

I mean, that's where we go back to, Litch. Yeah, this isn't one where there's any, really, any particular explanation, like, I think. So Virginia Tech fans are taking it well, is what I'm hearing. Oh, yeah. Yeah. I think I've seen every possible, you know, usual, usual angry fan thing. Vanilla play calling and, you know, we got to play this guy. Just all the stuff, yeah.

But didn't, didn't the Hokies also? just dismiss another play? Yeah, that did happen after the game. Okay. Oh, wait, I missed that. Yeah, they booted their best defensive linemen. I'm not exactly clear on why it was the morning after the game. And it was an extra weird one because he was like, he was posting on Twitter, like, you know, pretty positive post-game stuff.

You know, like we're going to bounce back and use this and all, you know, all that kind of stuff. And the next thing, you know, he's gone. Virginia Tech's doing great, basically. did they just leave did they just leave him in norfolk i don't know that's and it's and it's extra strange because virginia tech of course the story of their off season was they lost like 12 defenders they only have so many of them

so now they're down to like maybe maybe that's the plan to get to the end of the year and only have five and then that's how you explain it all rhetoric you whitewash your own history yeah well clearly How were we supposed to? We couldn't even feel the full team. Only five players in Virginia.

You might as well just lose to UMBC. Yeah, by the way, I don't, it doesn't really go, oh, well, maybe Virginia Tech will score points, right? Maybe that's how they're going to go get past this. Yeah, about that. The quarterback's injured. Well

Yep Josh Jackson injured and didn't Didn't look good It's a crutches type injury So not the kind That you want your dual threat quarterback to have In that offense

Other than the heavily accursed game Which we won't talk about Or is there any other result That you feel I should know about Or should know more about Because I'll I'll throw a few out there

I know Purdue beat Boston College Purdue was better than its record indicates Boston College has had trouble being consistent every season. That didn't surprise me all that much. I know Colorado State lost to, I think, Illinois State. Colorado State is a trash team. I know Auburn dumped truck to Arkansas. I know, oh, wait, can I tell you one thing about that game? Sure. Go look at the numbers. Yeah, take another peak. No, that's, that's a mind, like that was that game is this week's most deceptive result by score because you can say year year okay yeah if you look at just the box score just the yardage of Arkansas Auburn you would

probably guess Arkansas one all right I'm on I'm on our I'm on Arkansas fight our Arkansas blog it says Arkansas got blown out but the box score tells a wild tale um Let's see. Yeah, let's, let me just tell you. This is actually, this is actually in a 34-3 win. This was one of Auburn's worst. I'm sorry, Auburn had 225 yards. That's correct.

It was one of their worst offensive performances, I believe, in a decade. Okay, we have to move forward past this because I don't. This is, yeah. No, but just bookmark this, though, listener. Okay, but no, bookmark this. When later on, we're like, man, How did Auburn only score shitty total against this team? There are problems.

There's serious problems on that offense. Okay. The only other one. It's under any yards were gained in Auburn LSU, because they're kind of the same team. They just conjure points without ever actually advancing the ball. So did any of you all watch LSU Louisiana Tech? This is a game I did watch some of it.

I did fade the tigers, but no. Okay. So a great thing happened. in this game. LSU won. I don't know if they covered or not. No. I don't think they do. No. Great job. Great job Sandman. About somewhere early in the fourth quarter, there was a clockbell function. This game was played in Baton Rouge. And it was the sort where they said, we're going to keep time on the field. We have seen this happen multiple times in college football. But Spencer, usually, how long does that bug persist?

Oh, like five minutes? It's not long. It lasted for the rest of the game to the point where they could keep neither the play clock nor the game clock were functioning accurately. So neither of these were on the Chiron for the broadcast. As a result, after every other play or so, the head ref just came on the PA and set a time, and that was how much time was left in the game. That was the only way anyone had any idea how much time was remaining in what was for a very, very good portion of it, a close contest featuring one of the nation's top-ranked teams, potentially getting upset.

It was amazing. You just see, like, a first down, and then you'd hear, like, a voice in the distance go, like, 806. Like, what? It's like an oral tradition version of a football game. Yes, this is, this is, this is, this is the Homeric version of Alex's score just passed down through generations. If I can give you, though, like, still more accurate than ESPN, Goddair. If I can, if I can, if I can give you the, uh, the cruelest, I do want to, we, we rarely discuss, I know usually, I know usually, Jason discusses wagering

because that is his purview on this podcast. However, there was a spectacular bad beat. Like, so spectacular, I paid attention to it, which was all games. Like, of all games where you would bet the over, what's the one game

in the Big Ten, even, that you would not? Iowa, Wisconsin. Yeah. For the entirety of America who had the under 43, Wisconsin already had Which by the way Your under is 43

And it was It was looking great for the entire game I think this thing was like 7 7 at the half Or something like that Yeah it was 7 7 at the half The under was looking awesome Wisconsin took the lead late And Wisconsin was covering then as well

And then they tack on a bullshit touchdown at the end Via like 43 seconds on an end around like sure sure if you want a really great moment on your your social media timeline to shake out which people also you know the the end around guess the weight of the man who scored the end around touchdown 270 pounds close 155 246 that's that's a lot of round round It's an end around, end o' round. Just taking, just rumbling for 33 yards of totally unnecessary touchdown. That's, God, that's so beautiful. That's a moment when that happens.

And everyone on your timeline who has thus far cloaked being a degenerate gambler really well instantly erupts. Ah! What are you doing? Like, I want to know this. Who got the over? Yeah, what maniac get the over in Wisconsin? Please, please tweet, Jason, if you bet the over.

Yeah, please, I would like to know what's wrong with you. And there's going to be more points than that than you think. 42? This thing's looking pretty lively to me. You're really going to open up. I'm feeling 25, 23. It'll be crazy. I'm picturing some punt returns.

That was probably the only. the other moment from a weird but satisfying week four it picked up toward the end you didn't really like you didn't miss anything during the day yeah it was this was a good week to take off yeah yeah it dragged until one it basically basically army dragged Oklahoma onto the American forces network was when things picked up it seemed like there were a disproportionate amount of games where or maybe it just these games stood out because we were so like hard up for entertainment, but a lot of games that seemed like they were going to blossom into these big, beautiful upsets, and then mostly it was just chalk, chalk, chalk.

That's why it wasn't a true blood week. It wasn't even close to blood week. No, it was like a, it was not even like it. It was like a B for effort week. It was an adequate sticker. I mean, most of the teams that the bad thing happened to them, they were in the teams anyway. For a blood week, we need like top 10 teams losing. Yeah, this is a deadleg week. Like, it hurt, and yeah, that's going to leave a mark, but it's not blood week. Oh, one more thing. One more thing. Just to, I wouldn't want to send anyone out in this podcast frowning.

I wouldn't want to be thinking about the pain. I know Rutgers lost to Buffalo badly. No, I got something better. How many points did the Louisville score against UBA? Again, Trace. I know the number is not seven. I know that. Trace!

Hey, who plays next week? Louisville, Florida State. Louisville, Florida State. 3.30, ESPN2. That's the score if you rearrange the numbers. 30, 3.3. 3.3. 3.2.

See through the code.