Shutdown Fullcast - Pies Flyin' Out Of Strickland Propane

Episode Date: October 27, 2024

Texas A&M introduces a frosty new traditionThe cocaine jokes go on for at least thirty minutes, so get comfortableJason has a lil something for LibertyMeal planning with Hugh FreezeAlabama and Missouri experience roadside adversityA visit with Woody HayesDeep dive analytics on Florida StateSee Jason in Jacksonville, in church! Bring your boyfriend! Don't worry about why! https://www.sanmarcobooksandmore.com/event/jason-kirk-hab-eventFullcast After Dark theme song arranged and performed by Corey CunninghamListen to Ryan's other, less harrowing show, We're Not All Like This, and check out his new narrative podcast with Steven Godfrey, Who Killed College Football? https://www.wkcfb.com/Jason's free CFB Watch Grid newsletter and other stuff: https://www.jasonkirk.fyi/Find Holly and Spencer writing and chirping at https://channel-6.ghost.io/Purchase only the finest Fullcast gear at sunny https://preownedairboats.com/

What I want to know from everyone is, can you take me higher to a place where blind men see? I think that is a song I am so much more comfortable hearing A&M fans sing than I am when they sing Mo Bamba. I was going to say the same thing about living on a prayer, because then it makes me think, well, what if there was a Texas A&M in New Jersey? Jesus Christ. Isn't that? So like if Rutgers had a paramilitary. If Rutgers had a core, yeah. That's just the mafia.

I think that's the Sopranos, yeah. Yeah, but they have to dress all the same. It's the tricky part. The 12th guy. Yeah. Hullabaloo, connect. That sounds like some shit they'd say. Yeah.

Oh! The hullabaloo galutes. Look at this mook. Yeah. Ooh. Got some thoughts. We got some thoughts. And got some thoughts about A&M.

Got some prayers for LSU. They played Colin Baton Rouge as well at the end. Did they? Yeah. I think Brian Kelly heard it too. He looked up and he looked a little annoyed. Granted, he always looks annoyed. But.

So if you've seen The Nice Guys starring Russell Crow and Ryan Gosling, Ryan Gosling's character on, I believe, his index finger has tattooed, you will never be happy. And what I want on Brian Kelly's, I want to abduct Brian Kelly, knock him out, tattoo on his index finger, you will win, you will never win a national title. That's what I want. You will never win an FBS national title. Because I don't know, he might have won one at Grand Valley State. I'm not looking at his bio. Oh, I thought you were saying you were going to bump him down.

down to FCS. No. I'm going to be like you'll never win a, I'm sorry. Let's be very specific for the P dance out there because Lord knows that's our audience. You will never win a championship at LSU, any, not SEC, not national, that thing that you left Notre Dame for. Wow. Yeah, it's not happening. So I thought you were totally, you know, like he'll never win a national championship, period.

I thought that was good. Now you're saying no SEC title either. No, he's not getting shit. he's not getting shit i mean that you're probably right there's 38 teams there now and they all recruit at a top 10 level so odds are good that he won't they went down significantly thanks to texas and oklahoma or they went down significantly thanks to texas joining don't be mean to oklahoma right now they're having a hard time they're trying as hard as they can ryan uh Oklahoma is wrecking wrecking lSU strength

schedule right now. Ricky, when Old Miss can put out of the fire against you, when we go, hey, what's a model of, what's a model of function and resilience?

Ah, that's right. The Ole Miss Rebels, that's correct. Should we start the show? Sure. Yeah. Why not? Yeah, let's do it.

Fullcast After Dark for men Brought to you by Prize Picks Welcome to the Fullcast After Dark. collie noises hello everybody we are live for the only college football recap show on saturday night slash sunday morning depending where you are listening i am spencer hall joined as i am every week by uh tonight jason kirk hi ryan nanny and douglas raya serone on the ones and twos so holly anderson will not be joining us tonight she's a late scratch So we will have to prevail without her.

That means we're just going to have to... Each of us are going to have to pick up a third of what we would be saying about Texas A&M anyways. But I know you can do that because I know all of us have nothing but positive things to say about Texas A&M tonight, marking a first in the history of this program. Are we going to make fun of you for wearing weird overalls and giving yourself strange nicknames like old hammie? Now, those are great. I think that's laudable. other things I think are laudable about Texas A&M

I think it's very cool that you guys tell the worst jokes in the world I mean jokes so bad that they're actually almost art at your weird little pep rallies I think it's weird any number of people to get together at midnight in Texas I don't want outsiders to know about it it's generally a bad thing not you not you

it's a good party it's a solid party we're not making fun of anything because y'all beat that ass and here's the thing all the weird stuff it's really funny when they beat that ass with all the weird stuff because it's kind of like it's kind of like getting your ass kicked by a breakdancing clown and you're just sort of like man

that was unpleasant and confusing yeah man like when you're the weird homeschool troop and you lose then oh that's that's extra lame but when you do that shit and you win all of the uncoolness transfers to your opponent so look at what you have heaped upon LSU

now they're the big dorks Go Blue said it was like getting beat up by somebody using Capoeira That's right Oh no, the rhythmic dancing is also beating my ass You lost a Raygun The like emotionally unstable nerd You lost the line

dancing ray gun yeah you lost to the cast of best little whorehouse in texas that's who you lost to quite literally um can can i start with a question rather than a comment yeah i've never been to kylefield mhm is section 336 where you go to use cocaine because that's what happened according to the texas anm police twitter account tonight two things happened to two things happened to really turn the around for the Texas A&M Aggies. One, they made a switch at quarterback. Connor Wegman, obviously struggling as starter. They didn't really have a whole lot going.

They went down to LSU. Everyone's making it the Garrett Nussmeyer show. Oh, man, Brian Kelly's done such a good job with this. By the way, someone said, Brian Kelly's done such a good job with this team out loud. And then the gods heard that, and they went, bet. And decided to correct you on that because they switched quarterbacks from Connor Wegman to Marcel Reed. Marcel Reed then who, guys, I have an open question here. How much film study do you think they did on the possibility of Marcel Reed in this game based on the performance you saw?

Not a great deal. I'm not sure it would have helped the time. It would have helped. I'm not going to say it does nothing. Yeah. Yeah. Four straight scoring drives ensue. A&M's defense begins to go full rage nerd mode, right?

They were, again, A&M, the geek who went off on the summer and learned karate and came back and beat your ass. And that's how they managed to get the biggest win since Johnny Mansell beat Bama. And definitely the biggest win at Kyle Field that I can remember in their recent history. Their biggest non-Bamma win in... Since they joined the SEC. Well over a decade. Yeah.

Yeah. Absolutely unreal. The other thing that happened, as Ryan mentioned, someone was arrested for possession of cocaine in Section 336. I will tell you, I'm looking at the seating chart for Kyle Field. If you go to the 25-yard line and you head north into the third deck, that's where somebody was... high and getting high way up there in the third day so they were getting ready to they were that high

topographically that high cocaineically and that high to the sounds of creed my gosh and that high on a and him beating lSU that's all this is as high as you can get that man was up there high five and the flyover is what he was doing that man was so high he and god were dappin that's how high that gentleman was, can I ask you this? Is there anything less probable to you than looking behind you at a Texas A&M game and seeing a dude just absolutely go and shop back on a pile of blow? Is that why they wear those white jumpsuits? I saw that and my first thought was I would actually have to go down to security and be like, am I dead? Am I having a stroke? Can I get a medical professional of some sort of

to get up here and test and make sure that I'm not dead because I figured out, if you'd asked me prior to this game, what's the last place you would expect to see someone doing a whole pile of blow? I wouldn't have an answer for you. Gentlemen, I have an answer now. It is section 336 of Kyle Field during the OSU game. And you know exactly what that man said after he looked back up? He said, whoop. Now, is my understanding is, that per A&M superstition, maybe not this person, but somebody now has to do cocaine in Section 336 at every home game going forward, right? Thank you. Thank you for carrying the ball where I was taking it anyway, Ryan, that this extremely superstitious tradition-bound, hidebound even football program and culture, if something works once.

had an extra guy come out of the stands and suit up, they make a whole tradition of it. If they had a fucking stray dog that happened to coincide with the win, guess what they did? They kept that dog and made it a mascot, right? Later gentrified it to a collie, but we're not going to talk about the economics of that. What they have to do now, Ryan, is exactly that. They're going to have to have the snowman. Right? They're going to have to have someone, and they're going to have to gentrify it.

So you know if they're going to have to do, just going to have to do it. we did in elementary school have somebody up there with a bunch of altoids oh that'd be spicy pixie sticks uh they're just going to have them up there just a big bowl of it no they're going to use cocaine yeah yeah and the university account is going to post about it yeah so their next home game and it's going to go like on the university website under traditions traditions it's on page uh 97 of their traditions web page uh next home game is new mexico state in two weeks Two weeks after that is the Texas game Which is shaping up to be the actual biggest game of the regular season

You want your home crowd absolutely blasted Off the goodest shit you can accumulate Everyone please if you could look to section 336 Where her Aggie tradition daddy vacuum To the sounds of Scott Stapp Hey y'all They will be here doing more cocaine that is humanly advisable app is also here in section 336 here's the other thing you do have to get arrested for it as

well that's part of the well yeah because we love the cops here at texas a and him let's do some cocaine it's like very ceremonial where like you snored it as you were being handcuffed yes a whole a whole theater kid thing like they do yeah thank you susan section 333 home with a 12th Cram. Yes. Yes. Man, somebody at A&M right now is like, well, we got a rework orientation.

All right, fine. Again, just imagine, you turn around and you're like, really, really. Because I don't know if you've, I will tell you, I've seen a lot of things at a football game, okay? I have seen people fighting I've seen people smoking weed I've seen people high on acid

elderly people by the way I saw a 70 year old guy at a Florida game high on acid was he on the faculty none of your business but I have never ever ever

seen anyone in the stands just out there tooting it up never seen that I wish they had done this when Notre Dame was in the house You said third down's a key play. I don't understand.

Or, like, either do this with Notre Dame in the house or do this when, like, it's Oklahoma's first game in A&M as an SEC team. Welcome aboard. The other possibility I think we should throw out is that it's possible this was an LSU fan who watched Garrett Nussmeyer throw a pick and was like, well, fuck it. That's it. It's not to break out the emergency fun. This was going to be my party, but.

One man out there said... I bought these fireworks and I'm lighting them up. One man out there just decided, I got to change the karma. I got to change the path of the universe, man. How am I going to do that? I'm going to get as close as I can to God. The Aggies need me.

Aggies need me to do this sack of china white. Now I'm going to be yelling after midnight, all right. That would be heroin. Oh, God, that's incredible. I'm so happy this. happened. And hey, I'm so happy the Aggies won because this is also, there's so many jokes on jokes

here. This is paying off so many jokes because it also pays off the fact that the Aggies gave the treasury of a small European principality. Maybe not one of the ones that's on the map right as a country, but definitely one of the ones that has like a duchy. And they gave that much

money to Jimbo Fisher to go away. To go away. And everyone said, ha ha! Look at that. Now, you got to hire dukes coach they're in the number one team in the SEC they're in the lead yeah it's just easy it's just it's just oh it's not hard why didn't you why didn't you just press win button idiot it's we made fun of A&M for just blowing money like it didn't exist and it worked it just we'll print more it's fine

it's not real unlike cocaine it's not real did you know all money has a little cocaine on it who i'm excited for a nm football it's all see it's all a cycle here this way it's all you need to it's like the water cycle except it's cocaine this gives me such hope for florida what do you do go hire the shittiest coach you can find make sure that you just keep them around for way too long for way too much money and then what then just hire the next guy and the next guy you'll you'll win you'll win like 11 games i just want to add uh just to hear for car chases, who's commented in the chat, seen guys do bumps at a Purdue game.

Ooh. I mean, you should. Just to feel something? Yeah. Again, am I dead? A different way of asking, am I dead? I'm at a Purdue game. Is it bad when in the middle of a game that's still pretty close?

The broadcast is like, hey, here's Brian Kelly getting super mad at the press conference after they lost to USC. Does that feel bad, like a bad foreshadowing moment? No. Because, all right, we try to do on this show. We try to say all of the things out loud that everybody uses his subtext and doesn't say things. Everyone knows.

Everyone knows Brian Kelly's a dick, especially the people who have to deal with him. And they know he's going to blow his top. And they know he's going to blame players, even though he's done a very good job of being like, I'm Brian Kelly and I'm not going to Brian Kelly so much. but it has to come out at one point. He cannot resist it. So that's what they're doing. They're setting the stage.

You know why? For the same reason that you roll the bomb underneath the bridge and trail a fuse out, because they're like, I'm just waiting to light it. It's all I have to do. It's set up. So no. I mean, it is bad foreshadowing, but it's intentional because they know.

I think this was after the field goal unit blasted a snap off the holders, like shoulder, when he wasn't looking. oh yeah but it was the long snapper right because did you see who did brian kelly immediately hound out and yell at that's correct the long snapper what kind of coaching do you do at that point by the way do you walk over to the long snapper go that was bad thanks brian oh shit it was oh fuck i ask as a non-coach what are you doing in that moment i don't think you should have done that yeah you fucked us really no i just go to him hey did you Here they got Coke up in section.

That's crazy, man. If that guy's still holding, can you just go up there and bring it down? Because I'm not hyped up enough. I'm not aggressive enough. It's also that thing where you remember, and this is not us being hyperbolic. This is what LSU fans say. The expectation is you come to LSU and you win at least one national championship. championship. And when you blow a 17-7 lead on the road, a 17-7 lead where you like

looked like it was rolling, where it was just like, oh, man, we are, we are just dealing out here on both sides of the ball. And you end up scoring six points in the second half and can't stop, get a stop on defense at all. And, who, man. Like, we don't have to do the whole, well, the playoff level like who knows a lot of paths still open but if the goal is feel confident that brian kelly can take your team and build a national champion out of it this is yet another year where it's hard to reach that conclusion yeah the good news and bad news for lSU is the rest of their schedule doesn't look that uh difficult it looks pretty manageable the bad news is that the rest of your schedule doesn't look that difficult so the chances of you blowing one just went up

infinitely because the rest of their schedule if you're looking at it is Alabama next week definitely not a game that's fraught for both teams Florida the next week they'll probably win that Vanderbilt at LSU I wish you luck and then they finish with Oklahoma which if they lose any of the four of those games it's hilarity on an entirely different scale in each one of them yeah and And yet they all have, like, at least enough of a partial path to, like, oh, this, I can see how this gets bogged down into unpleasantness aggressively. Oh, yeah. Look, I can script a shit show out of either one of those, or any one of them. Yeah.

Any one of the four. And, yeah, Fandy will bring their fireworks, that is correct. Which they almost brought today for Diego. He tried so hard. I blame split zone duo. They were at that game. Sure. Seems fair.

Seems fair. Speaking of, I just had a weird, I just had a weird idea regarding split zone duo. Crazy. What do you got? Like, I don't know. What if on January 18th of next year, we, the Shuttonne Fullcast, and they, the split zone duo, which is three people, because they're liars and we're honest. What if we did a live show together in Atlanta before the national championship game? I don't know. What do you think, Jason? more wow all right you heard it that's i guess that's the official announcement with with with the official announcement of more uh tickets are not on sale for this yet you can go to

pre-owned airboats and you can look for them but they're not there yet because i know you hang out on that website you know where to go because there's so much new content yeah i assume it's your home page at this point but yeah we will announce when tickets are available soon we're excited to see y'all uh and and that's all we're going to say about it for now because yes it is splits into his fault that vanderbilt could not knock off the texas longhorns that's right you get to watch what i think is the most breathtaking sight in all of college football which is Alex kershner ordering fries for the table you could see that so like we're going to do that at the show i hope so okay i'm going to let him

order fries for me because he knows better than i do no one no one knows more about french fries and dipping sauces i saw him do it twice last night yeah and it was it was equally breathtaking it's like it's like watching Patrick Mahomes work out of the pocket well it's it's it's not even that it's like I it feels more like a knuckleballer to me where you're like man you're so good like it's a very specific thing and it's not necessarily like this one thing will take you to great heights with all due respect to Alex I think he's great but like fry ordering is limited skill but you watch him do it you're just like I don't

think i can ever learn that you just do it so easily so naturally and it just baffles everyone else but there he is saying yeah more fries for the table please yeah do you got that go to aoli that aoli it's it's i'm telling you y'all it is like watching a gazelle running across the sarangetti something that is both uh as natural as anything ever natured and also stunning in its singularity Ryan they're flaming you in the comments for saying that what fry ordering is is a skill is only useful in certain situations. That's fine. That's fine. That's fine. That's fine. I'm working on my stadium cocaine skills anyway.

Section 336 for life, bitch. Now, LSU can't even make cocaine in the stadium their thing. That sucks. I just want you to imagine whatever 2024 is Hank Hill, he's up there in the second 336. Dang it, Bobby. So Aggie Hank Hill. Yeah, he's with 2020. Bobby and they've been talking all week about how the National Park

police are going to take over the government of Kamala wins and they're nodding along and they're as happy as they can be and they look over and he's like oh and this just you just ruined the entire experience just Luan going to

town yeah the peggy on some la cocaina my ghost because that happened right like whatever her tamala from katie texas okay sure who drove all the way there in her bane blade sized expedition okay drove there and she spent $428 on gas and 78 dollars on snacks at buckies and she's like i'm so happy to just get the boys we're going to go watch the aggies and all of a sudden

There's some dude just... America, what happened to you? At the Aggie Games. It's nothing holy. Ever since the Longhorns joined the conference. It wasn't like that. But then the T-Syphs brought other Colombian vices with them. Orange Blood Blue Flake.

those rich motherfuckers showed up they brought rich people drugs with them now we're we're rich in the polite way mm-hmm not like them they're different from us we're not even making this up someone saw that tonight someone's going to bed like in an hour somewhere in sugar land and they're like oh i can't believe i saw that how am i going to explain i have to go to church tomorrow Blame to my kids. With that on my heart. I got to go on the Aggie politics board and blame my problems on trans kids. Yeah, that's...

It's probably more like, well, beat LSU by two touchdowns. So I'm going to need you back on that bag. Oh, I'm sorry. Cocaine Santa. Sell cocaine and cocaine accessories. They got Hank Hill moving birds Pies flying out of Strictly propane

I'm going to tell you, I know that old hang there He moves a brick God damn I'm so happy right now Because of the cocaine Like look Texas A&M You were monstrous on defense in the second half

And It's awesome It's so fun to watch on offense, but yeah, this is mostly going to be about the cocaine in Section 336. So this is, I think, another thing Dale Gribble does not notice. I don't know why Hank came into some money. I don't know how he did it. I'm trying to get to the bottom of it. He buys BC headache powder by the bag. It is good. I watch this segue. Two teams both on different stages of the cocaine roller coaster, the number one team in the nation, five minutes after doing cocaine in Section 336, the number 20 team, seven hours on the come down.

Oregon 38, Illinois, nine. Multiple commenters pointing out cocaine is literally pocket sand. Call me a camel brother, because I'm heading to that desert. can live for months out there Oregon just beat Illinois's ass I don't know what you want to say about this game other than if you watched it it was 35 to 3

at the half and the second half was an exposition a demonstration of massive time wasting Illinois this is about as good as Illinois can get you're going to be cool and you're going to show up in the VIP and everyone's going to laugh at your shitty pants you're going to walk home crying

I think it's much more of a reflection of Oregon than it is that's correct frankly that's correct and like I also think it's accurate that this is as good as Illinois will ever sure and it's pretty good it's not pretty good it's not that bad that's your ceiling though it's not Indiana good though is it no nothing is so like Indiana today beat washing Despite Curtis Schwark being out, look great as they do weekend and week out. There's been this thing for a few weeks now where it's like looking ahead to the Ohio State game, like, well, sure, they'll probably drop that one, but 11 and 1 is within reach.

At this point, we can aim higher if we want because Indiana beat the fuck out of a Nebraska team that probably should have beaten Ohio State today. Nebraska controlled the trenches, almost doubled up Ohio State and rushing yardage. Indiana is better on the ground than Nebraska is. So, like, if Ohio State plays anything like they did today, Indiana 12 Indiana is within reach. Hoof. Yeah, let me get a little historical with this, too, if you want to know the degree of dominance to which Indiana has ascended like a rising demon. David Wonderlich, aka a year two, long time, like Florida writer and college football guy.

unearth this. Only two teams since World War II have won every game by at least 14 points, 1995, Nebraska, and 2004, Utah. Indiana is still alive for that street because they beat Washington by 14 today. That's amazing. Again, remember, it's so easy to be good at football. Just be good. Like, the use is still probably the UCF winless season, too undefeated. That's probably the biggest, like, holy shit flip. This is getting very close. I think this one, the flavor that it has, that distinguishes it from that one, not to say it would be better or worse or whatever, but, like, with Indiana,

it's just decades and decades and decades of nothing. Of Drek, yeah. And then this, right? Even the good years are like, mm, particularly good Drek this year. sir thank you like you look back at it's not hard to find their last eight win season because they had a bunch of like eight and fives and eight and fours within the last one i would shouldn't say a bunch it's like three or four uh within the last like four or five decades so like they're capable of getting to eight wins but only in a barely above 500 cents like eight uh eight no it's

not since uh 1967 and yeah their their preseason win total was like four or five five and a half something like that um they're gonna blow past doubling it i said blow so a and m fans party party keeps going please uh indiana too when you watch them their pacing is incredible and by that i mean you go hmm they're up seven oh it's seven oh look it's the second quarter and they're up 143 now it's 2110 they just continue like they are just constantly depositing cash into the account it's not like they have big swings where they go well a huge third quarter kind of an explosive streaky team nope no motherfucker they're hitting that IRA every single paycheck first and 15th like they are so even and so consistent across every quarter it's bonkers and they and they don't

like they had a bad early turnover in the second half against Washington that Washington turned into a touchdown and they just like shake it off immediately they're just like okay well that's not what was supposed to happen but we'll just get back to what we're supposed to do and it's fine let me consult this wristband we don't suck okay cool we don't suck anymore guys it's gonna be fun next week if if they're able to get the win uh i think it's a michigan state they play next week yes the spatoons spatoons coming home the the ap you'll probably have them around like nine or ten or something like that. The CFP is going to have them higher than that. So, Indiana, like, seventh or sixth or something. Yeah, just just go ahead and get used to that. Yeah. Cool. I love it. No, no notes.

All great. No, Kurt Signetti, don't suck. What's the secret? My autobiography by Kurtzegetti. Don't suck. Be good. I win. That's it. I win. Google me. Whereas A&M adapts it to Don't suck, just blow. Yeah. Exactly. Here's what you do. Remember, victory's just about this, okay?

It's about getting your nose in there. Hard-nosed. Yeah. It's about just getting winning into your system as quickly as possible. Noose hard from all the... Listen, we went on the lines, all right? That's what we do. You've got to have a nose for victory, a nose for winning.

Should we do? digress to talk about the, I think comfortable saying, the biggest upset of the week. Yeah. Jason, the floor is yours, obviously, for this one. So, Wednesday night in the state of Georgia, the, many are calling it the biggest upset of the season. It's up there. It's certainly up there. It's certainly the easiest one to numerically describe as the biggest upset of the season

because the undefeated Quote Fingers University of Liberty Flames faced off with the winless Kinesaw State Owls who had never beaten an FBS team or won as an FBS team and the spread was 28 points if Liberty was able to defeat

the lowest ranked team in FBS by most metrics then they're call it a playoff, would have remained intact. I think after their performance last year in the Fiesta Bowl, that that would be a little dubious. But regardless, nevertheless, they still had a playoff case,

assuming they'd be able to beat the worst team in FBS. But in fact, what happened instead was your Kennesaw State Owls becoming America's team for a night and putting away the, I think probably not the most, hated because that would be, you know, Ohio State or Alabama or Notre Dame. But maybe the most, the team that has the lowest favorability rating compared to its popularity, the team most clearly completely underwater in terms of likeness nationally. That team ate fucking shit, 2724 to my alma mater.

We stormed the field and then a second was placed back on the clock. We politely made our way to the sideline, fully confident that Liberty would not be able to gain 70 yards in the final second, and then we stormed the field again that time with more confidence because we had actually done it before ever in university history. It was fun. I was, I had a pass. I was down, like, on the goal line, like, looking at the student section,

knowing they were about to run out. So I'm, like, walking parallel to him. And I'm, like, like, the second the game ended the first time, I'm, like, on the field, like, waiting. for the students to get out there. It was so tentative. It was adorable. They'd never done it before.

Literally, in school history, there had never been, I think, like, you know, we won, like, the Big South Conference a few years ago. There was probably a polite little gathering or whatever. There was nothing like this. But the second time, it was like, all right, we know what we're doing. We know what we're doing. We're getting out there. Yeah, this was fun.

This was a lot of fun. This was, you know, everyone loved this one. I'm glad that my alma mater was able to do such a great service for all of America, for college football, for everyone who, you know, likes universities to just be universities and not be diploma mills for Heritage Foundation lawyers

and, you know, real estate scam concerns and so forth. So yeah, I could not have enjoyed this game more. Like all summer long, whenever anyone would ask about our schedule, how we're going to do and all this stuff, I'm just like, I don't know, just beat Liberty. I don't care.

It's it. This was like all I wanted out of this season. So complete success, completely happy. And I know we have Liberty listeners to this show. Believe it or not, despite all the, all the things we have said about Liberty University, which quite frankly, we could go so much harder on the things we say. Somehow, some way, some, some Liberty fans do listen to this show. They don't give to the Charity Bowl while listing the name of their alma mater. Okay, all right. If they give to the charity bowl, they do it in secret, which is ironically very Christian of them. To them, I would like to say this. It's time to come home. You don't have to be the way you are. You have lost, and therefore I have power over you at this moment. I am using it very graciously to tell you that you don't have to continue being the way you are. You don't have to view the world as something that is out to get you, you can instead choose to join the world and just stop being like that. And most people don't think that you have that in you, but I know that you do. I know that you do. And I believe that there will come a day when you will join the

rest of us in not being like that. Go owls. Or you can get the Auburn job and eat some bad turkey. Let me tell you, Ryan, we've discovered the secret that's going to turn Auburn's entire season around. Just like A&M needs old Papa Snowman, okay? They need old Doc Hoover, okay? They need Daddy Dyson, okay, up in the stands. They're going to need somebody doing all the coat. What we need for Auburn to turn the season around is very, very simple. All you need is for Hugh Freeze to get stuttering butt, okay? The Red Rigg of death. The red ring of death. All you need for him to get is

that old Bukin Buzuka, okay? Going. All you need him to do is to get a little bit of Stucky's revenge every single week, okay? I need him to get

that Chipotle Chachah going. Picard Log integrity failing. Pekonlog integrity failing. Oh, there's pecans, buddy. I mean, shit. They just had the Make that man act like he'd eaten at Kroger, so they sent him to Kroger Field. Yeah. Kit Rand is right.

Fire the mud cannon. That's what we need to do, okay? Football is about getting dirty. You can't get dirtier than Hugh Freeze with the runs before every game. I need him out there drinking nothing but standing water on Thursday. Full dipe. Full dipe. We need you to go full dive.

Right? I need him going to only the lowest rated restaurants in his area. Yeah. You can look them up. If they get a failing grade, we're just shoveling that straight to Hughes Gullet, right? Hello, 7-Eleven. How long has this hot dog been sitting out?

Yeah, I need him to focus on the run game, if you will. Spencer, Spencer, are you, are you, is Hugh Freeze Papa Nergel now? Yeah, he is. He needs to go ahead and embrace, he's, listen, I love him just the way he is, just like Nergel would, okay? He needs to just go ahead and roll in the filth. I need him to embrace this because giving, himself the runs with whatever Q-Fries eats.

And man, isn't that a colorful vision? It's Chick-fil-A. It's all Chick-Flea. He's the Brock Lesnar of eating only Chick-fil-A. Do you think maybe he's strained? He's like, never again, Wendy's! Oh, he had a Bojangle. He had a gay, gay bo-jangle sandwich.

Hey, listen, I know one thing that could eat that could give you diarrhea that Hugh-Fries definitely has done, but I'm not going to go any further than that out into that branch. This is it. All you need to do is to do that, and you turn the game around, and you win a big road game after being down 10-0 against, yes, a toothless Kentucky, 24-10, giving Auburn their third win of the year and their first SEC win. Congratulations, Auburn. Want to know when my stubby hurts. God's plan was to put you out there with only the loosest booty imaginable

Hugh Freeze Just Hugh Freeze walking into Piggly Wiggly on a Wednesday Give me the pork you're about to throw out I need it I gotta say my job It's Iron Bowl Week What the fuck is he gonna eat for Iron Bowl Week? Good God I know there's a Jimmy John's on the corner there in Auburn

He used to walk in and be like Hey, that tuna you're about to throw out? Bring it here. I know it smelled crazy in me. How long's that pallet of lasagna been sitting there in that aisle? That's what he needs. We need to send him out there with nothing but an absolute fucking riot going on. He went raccoon mode on him.

And now you're dead, Kentucky. You need to send him out there with that land between the lakes, that lower bowel line. going. I need him to be like, I need a run stuffer, and I don't need a flare. Did you rattle this down? No, it's coming. I have so many words and phrases for diarrhea, but it's like

30% of my brain. Damn. Yeah, he gets to get there and goes, hey, do you know the words of the fight song? And he goes, when you're sliding into first, you feel something burst. Auburn Tigers. I believe in Auburn Tigers. He's so far from the toilet paper trees. That's the irony.

That's the irony. No one can clean him. No one can clean Hugh Freeze of a very ass. My salvation is so close in yet so far. With great power comes great responsibility. When you win at home, you can go twerk on that tree. I can't think of a better metaphor for Hugh Freeze and like his relative relationship with Auburn success and the fan base then oh he smells terrible but we won

he's a horrific nightmare and we don't want him anywhere near our special tree but he beat kentucky talk about sat talk about taking one for the team every time that man hears the taco bell bell like ring right the bong pavlov's don't just goes white and starts shuddering oh oh uh update a developing story by the way and one that I find delightful quote from Brent Zwernam who covers Texas A&M this was from Mike Elko's

presser this is a real program it's not fake it's not a politician running this program talking fast and BSing everybody this is a real program and for all the recruits out there this is a real place

Jimbo No I don't think that's shot to Jimbo on it Oh who do you think of it? Yeah I think that shots at Brian Kelly. Yes. I think that's because you're not recruiting against Jimbo right now. You're recruiting against Brian Kelly.

Or is it? Sark. Maybe. Maybe. It feels like Brian Kelly. It's one of those two. Yeah. I would guess. It's Kurt Signetty.

I mean, that's your national championship opponent. Oh my God. How much job you have? How much ball coach could you have in one game? Smooth talking Pat Narduzzi wants you to go to pit, but let me tell you something. Don't fall for the silver tongue of pit football beckons you with false promises. Just that crowded living room with all these ball coaches and all of a sudden they're like, who stinks? Freeze is like, oh, oh.

Get him out. Tentinate him over open water. grab the freeze tongs you don't want to touch him get him in the barrel and roll him I love I love it is this is a real place I can assure you I've been there

no place is more unreal than college station there is no place in the world that actually functions like that except for college station I have heard it described as Wakanda for white people and it's not far off I wonder if this is defensive on his part someone made that point that like coach this place seems fake no this is her real place it's hauntingly real i assure you it is

we have the cocaine to prove i thought it was fake but you may think that man behind you with his face and it opens a plug bag full of blow in section 336 is not real but i and the texas a and m police department assure you he is very real the best part is uh on the a nm police department and Twitter entry for that arrest. It still uses the beat the hell out of LSU hashtag right next to it as to imply that the two are related, which now we know that they are. I like that, yeah, even the cops are in on beating the hell out of LSU, even when cocaine is in play.

It's our vibranium. My brain, it goes straight in my brain, makes my brain vibrate. That's what it does. I just sniff that shit, and I'm like, I'm either going to make a great album or $100 million in a sketchy financial scheme. And with my $100 million, I'm going to fire Jimbo's ass again. There's oil somewhere under this ground, and I'm going to dig until I find it with my hands. Speaking of White, Wisconsin lost Penn State. Penn State overcame some adversity, down 107, QB injury, came back.

Got to see about that QB entry. Solid. The backup, Bo Prabula, like, he looked good. He played well. And I'm a little bit like, Wisconsin might be just average, but still having to do that, you know, after your quarterback gets injured in a tight game on the road,

like still pretty impressive overall. Yeah, respect your road wins, right? Yeah. Take them where you can get them. Like 2813 in, in Wisconsin, that is that is beyond respectable even if i'm still not sure exactly what wisconsin does the wisconsin the wisconsin rebuild is like it's every episode of grand designs where you're like the project was supposed to be in eight eight months ago but costs

have gone up and it's never stopped raining let's check in the front the front was supposed to be complete glass glass all around but due to budget cuts it's saran wrap We figured Saran Wrap will work. Yeah. I don't know what's up with them. I think maybe it's just funny because Wisconsin for so long didn't need rebuilt for like 30, 30 years didn't need rebuilt. Yeah. Yeah.

Yeah. And just what do they do? They have Phil Longo and that offense and the defense do not seem to be a harmonious match. I think, you know what they should probably do? Should hire Mike Elko. That's my only statement. Yeah, what can fix it? Wisconsin football today feels like what Southwest Airlines will be like in five years.

We're like, come on, we know it wasn't cool before, but it served its purpose and it did a thing, and then you tried to break it. And now it's totally stupid. I agree and have no understanding of exactly how they're going to fix it other than more Atticus Bertrams. I don't know. You have a punter named Atticus Bertrams. You should find more ways to involve him in the offense. He did have a 15-yard run.

rush tonight. Congratulations, Atticus. So more players named Atticus and maybe get an offense that matches what you want to do on defense and play a little more complimentary football. I don't know. Seems crazy. Spencer, speaking of more, can you remind me who the sponsor of this week's episode of Fullcast After Dark is? You know who always gives you more. That's right. Prize picks. Prize picks. Again, that's the best place to get real money sports action with over 10 million members. And billions of dollars and awarded winnings, prize picks has made daily fantasy sports accessible to all. Say it with me, you just pick more, more, more, more, less. Correct on at least two players for a shot to win up to 100 times your cash. You can run your

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Prize fix. Run your game. If you are a Florida State fan, I have good news. next year you're going to win 24 games because this coaching staff only has two modes crash crash boat into dock as hard as possible or boat turns into beautiful

beautiful flying vessel that can go to the moon and back no problem and now Florida State now officially eliminated from bowl contention at one in seven at some point late in this broadcast during this loss to Miami, which was never close and never seemed tricky and never, like, oh, it's only 22 points. It felt mostly like Miami decided like,

well, what if we won? Like, they made a little deal with themselves. They were like, okay, well, let's try to win without Cam Ward throwing a touchdown. They're like, oh, okay, if you say so, and then they did it. That's exactly what they did. And then they got bored and they were like, What if Cammore catches a touchdown? Is that okay? They sort of sat on the side. Yeah, that's okay. That's okay.

At no point was Florida State threatening in this in any way, shape, or form. One point late in the broadcast, they pulled up a, like, top seven ranking of the ACC. Miami's up there, Clemson's up there, pits up there. And just at the bottom, they just have it written out. Florida State is 14. Just not showing them 14, just reminding you, here is the basement. It's where Florida State lives. and where they will live, pretty much all season long.

Just a deeply broken team that in, I assume, their, like, biggest, like, okay, we really have to, like, show that we have something this year, just couldn't. I don't even blame them for, like, oh, you know, you should have done this, that, or the other. It's just like, nope, this is just absolutely dysfunctional at this point. But I did want, I felt bad going this long without server, you know, knows. Herber would want me to tell everybody that Florida State is one and seven. I'm looking at that number and it still doesn't look real.

The one and seven? It just doesn't. Yeah, maybe the one is the part that doesn't look real to me. No, it's very bad. It's very bad. And Miami looked disinterested. Yes. Disinterested is the word in this game.

I caught about 10 minutes of it, and it felt like a scrimmage between ones and threes, not twos. FSU has been on course for this for a while now, but we're really within range of they're about to enter most overrated team ever conversations, which is just really fucking impressive. Are they potentially worse off than that USC team that started the year, number one? So, like, starting number one

and then, like, losing one of the lowest tier bowl games, that's a big fall. Yeah. Starting number 10 and finishing two and 10. And maybe winning three games. yeah yeah like that's quite arguably a significant a bigger fall like you know number one eating shit you know that's something number 10 eating a ton of shit that's something so constantly well just like Hugh Friesian amounts of shit being consumed oh you want that stuff going the other way that's how you beat Kentucky yeah it's like you you look through the teams that are like

having a bad year UNC's 4 and 4 and it's like Florida State I don't think you're going to catch them at 4 wins there are a lot you can do this with like Arkansas which I don't know if Arkansas is having a bad year or not I really couldn't tell you

but like Arkansas 5 and 3 no they're not catching Arkansas this year you could do this in a lot of weird places and yeah it's it's really striking because I think for four teams of a Florida state caliber were used to like your terrible year is you went four and eight

and now four and eight would be saving the season yeah that'd be finishing strong right it's yeah it's it's there's very little like this in college football history very little let me tell you by the way as a little side road off that you said what kind of a year is Arkansas having okay it's a very tricky question answer it is because they're five and three, three and two. How is that? That's literally like, I'm fine. You're fine.

You're three and two. You're five and three. You're doing well. Tail and Green today had a monstrous game. Arkansas ran for, I think, 359 yards on the ground versus another one. They had 600 yards offense, didn't they? Between the two teams, they had over 1,100 yards of offense. They had over 600 yards by themselves.

Very little defense played in this game. Taylor and Green had an incredible touchdown run where he whoop-whoop-woop-woop a guy, I think that's a verb. Had him fallen backwards and sideways. They've been interesting. And I will say that if you're an Arkansas fan historically, on average, you'll take interesting.

That is not the thing I wanted to note about them, though, because who knows, they could lose 58-0 next week, and that would totally make sense. But according to Steve Verkowitz, Arkansas by changing its record to 5 and 3 with this win against Mississippi State that makes Razorbacks coach Sam Pittman's record since the start of 2021, 25 and 21.

And that means unless the hogs go to a bowl with a 5 and 7 mark and lose, the school's buyout to fire Pittman stays at 75% of the pay less on it versus 50%. The perfect crime. So what are we hoping for Sam?

One more win. one more win dog and and and they have one more win in them i feel reasonably i don't want to jinx it but i feel reasonably confident they do i mean i don't know anything could happen with this team because i've seen a lot of anything's happened to them but with a final stretch run of old miss texas louisiana tech and mezoo i think you got one more win in yeah yeah maybe not more maybe not more than one but what Arkansas so chaotic they lost to oklahoma state nobody does that yeah Yeah, that remains. It would be the 0 and 5 in the Big 12 Oklahoma State Cowboys,

who today lost to Baylor. Yes. Baylor has four wins, Florida State. You're never going to get everybody. If you don't have four wins, you suck. You want to talk about somebody who's trying to do some serious contract math right now. Dave Aranda. Sure.

Dave Arand is trying to make it. I think when he does it, it's contract philosophy. Sure. It's again. Come with me, Dave Miranda, as I discuss contract philosophy. If I make it to six wins at Baylor, can you fire me? There is no actual answer to this question. It's like the trolley problem, right?

A Baylor coach with six wins, what do you do? You're like, I don't know. Kill the kid. Keep Dave Miranda, kill the kid. Fire Dave Miranda, kill all the old people. I don't know. It's very confusing. But Baylor did look a lot.

a lot better today. They ran the fuck out of the ball. Yeah. Good for them. Another team, by the way, that keeps, you said, Oklahoma State has not gotten away with a goddamn thing this year. That's right. You know who's gotten away with everything? That's BYU. Continuing their mysterious rampage through college football pulled off the sauciest fake field goal I've ever seen in my life, which was a snap to the holder who then snap the ball through his legs. Not the little sideways snap that you sometimes

let the little shovel that you sometimes see. They went double snap on them? They would double snap on the fake field goal. On a drive that ended with, guess what, a field goal. I think that is the trolling shit I have ever heard in my life. I don't know if BYU is ever going to lose a game again with that kind of absolute insouciance working there. It's like playing golf, just like,

we had a nice shot to reach the green, but we just wanted to tap in the put from there. Yeah. And after several weeks of being the team with four yards of offense and winning by 20 points, BYU was clearly the better team today. Which again, some troll-ass behavior. I love it. Yeah. I need to apologize for the performance today by my beautiful boaters.

I felt confident in the Navy with only two turnovers on the year. that they could at least cover against Notre Dame, but after tripling that number in this game alone, they were in fact not able to do that. Okay, Notre Dame fans talk about the Navy game, the same way Notre Dame fans talk about San Francisco. They're like, it's so dangerous, we can't possibly go there. Terrible things will happen, and then they show up and they're like,

oh, wait, this is fine. The Italian food's wonderful. There's a panera. I'm fine. Yeah. Have you done the trolley car? It's so quaint. And then next, like, next time this game rolls around, they'll do the same shit.

It's Navy. We don't know. We can't possibly break our kids. Yeah. If you want to know the story in this game, it's real simple. Is it Navy's six turnovers? That was, yes. But maybe it might be six turnovers.

And the thing about the option is when you have a fumble, it's not just some shit where it's like you run into the line and the ball's on the ground and someone falls on it. No, it is a pitch usually backwards. Oh, no, you threw the ball into your own head zone. The ball already has momentum that is going in the defense's direction. So a turnover in an option system is usually going to be like, oh, look, there he goes. Yeah, continuing a previous metaphor, this is fixed income football. If you get the checks, it's great.

You get in a little financial trouble, but you're losing 51.14. Yeah. That's what's happening. just hitting you hard um this i don't think takes too much of the shine off of a potential navy army play in game for me it really doesn't i still think that's absolutely awesome it does show me though i have i've slept on notre dame because you got to be pretty good to handle a triple option team this handily this isn't like uh oh you know it was 34 to 10 and they meant no they beat the shit out of them yeah they took advantage of every single mistake so full credit to notre dame the funny so like

the race for the fifth playoff auto bid, which might be the fourth, depending on if the Big 12 keeps, if anyone can beat BYU, then the Big 12 becomes a huge mess. But Boise State beating UNLV and setting up basically in a weird game, in a real weird game, a total mess of a game. If Boise State, you know, wins that conference, I don't see anyone taking that spot. from them um unless army beats notre dame then we have a big discussion um and i mean if if army beats notre dame then uh then it's army you know if if army wins out i guess army either do this for me beat notre dame out right or commit seven turnovers just to go back to navy and be like fuck you

we give it him seven times uh it has been pointed out that sm u managed to win today despite committing six turnover as well so yeah i think i think what that tells you is between that result smu beating duke in overtime 2827 and uh term made undefeated in a cc play um and the a and m game i think this just reinforces like if you do it with cocaine it will go better i think that's the lesson here maybe definitely wasn't navy definitely didn't have cocaine no yeah you know who you know who has no cocaine and also isn't going anywhere near the playoff. If they want to go to a playoff, they'll be watching it with me on the couch, Missouri. We can just...

Some cokeless motherfuckers if I've ever seen it. I feel like despite shutting out a ranked Missou team that doesn't give you at like the full picture of what Missouri was today. I feel like Bama fans are not that much happier. No, I think they were like, well, you know, we had a flat tire thick, I'll walk on down the road. Oh, Jesus, this is a head-on collision. Like, I think both teams have car trouble. And when you ask what kind of car trouble, Bama's like, oh, I got a headlight out. And Mizzou's like, three are dead.

It's on me. The car is on me. The car is on me. It hurts a lot. And there's three dead people here, yeah. I had this game on for a while. and it, I really do not understand how the score is so big. So, like, at no point was, you know, like, yeah, sure, ma'am, I got some rushing yards,

but, like, it took a long time for them to get going. Maybe that's part of it. Yeah, yeah. Maybe I just sort of got lulled into a, like, oh, this game will be like 10 to nothing the whole time, but, yeah. Yeah, it's, it's, this is a strange one. Yeah, Brady Cook was already, I believe, dinged up and going in this game. Oh, he didn't practice all week, and they were like,

well, fuck it, go play Alabama. So they put him back out there, and then he came out after 12 attempts, and Drew Pine went in. He had completions. They were all to Alabama, for the most part. Six to his own team, three to Alabama. That's a 33% interception percentage.

Pretty good. This was one of those things where you go, I don't really know what you mean when you have an upper body injury Brady Cook, because in most cases that means we won't want to be specific or divulge necessarily where you could hit him if you put him in the next game. And in my head, it came out as his entire upper body is broken. It's all red. It's all red. Just what does he need? New upper body. Replace upper body, construct new pylons, build new Brady Cook. I hope he's okay. Like pulled apart C3b.

Yeah, exactly. Like decommissioned immediately. Put Brady Cook into stasis. Equip new armor. equip new armor yeah like he i hope he's all right and i hope he's well because he has been the quarterback i have seen take the biggest series of absolute ass kickings this year which goes back to my key point about mazou which is hey everybody including their giganto nerd of a coach looks a lot better when you have a walk-on running back who could do 30 carries a game and make everything a lot easier for your offense they miss they still miss cody strater god that's that's when you go like who's the least the most replaceable player from 2023 the shocking answer might be no it's still jordan travis but god jordan travis okay number one jordan travis who apparently should have been

number one draft pick just yes yes um did we mention that there was a a massive outbreak of night dues on on thursday we did not i have when pitts so pitts Its defense scored 21 first half points, which is, I think, that's dozing as hard as you can doze. Plus two other picks throughout. The apple car was steaming around those corners, buddy. Hot apple. Yeah. The hot apple coming out of you.

Hard apple. We put the booze in the apple. You don't have to drink it. Let me swallow the whole apple. It gets you drunk. Let me tell you, some precious, amazing stuff happened when the night dews got loose. Sing a song of praise for Kyle McCord, because, again, if you throw two interceptions, that's bad. You throw three, you've had a horrible game.

If you have four, you're a disaster, and I should bench you. But if you throw five picks, you're daring to be great. You're my guy. Like, they had him throw 64 times. What do you think was going to happen? During the Miami game, they're talking about, like, okay, here's Miami, here's Clemson. They don't play each other this season. It's Miami Pitt that I really want to see because pit is the like, all right, get in the factory.

I'm trying to throw gears at you all day. There's scores in Pitt games just all over the place. Just pick a number, any number. They won with 73. They won with 17. They won everything in between. Yeah. Do you want to know?

So, for instance, okay, today, if we looked at. if we looked at the Arkansas game. Okay, they averaged about 11 yards per point. And that's with Arkansas scoring a lot of points, 58 of them. Okay, so they spent a little more than 11 yards per point in terms of total offense. Pit to get to 31, 31, 5 yards of point. That's thrift, baby. That's thrift.

That's the pit difference. You want Costco football? show your pit fan membership card at the door, and we will get you points for less. Do you all remember last week how we had such a good time with the announcing call of Maryland doing stupid Maryland things? But Maryland still won that game and beat USC. Sure do. Doug, do we have that handy by chance. It's okay.

Oh, no! What a bad idea! they they should have played that on loop for the first first half at least of Minnesota Maryland because Minnesota just processed Maryland into a fine paste this was just an absolute destruction and in a way that Minnesota doesn't usually do certainly not as of late that like whatever goodwill was taken of like Maryland coming off embarrassing loss Northwestern beats USC big brand name blah blah blah loses by gets doubled up by a Minnesota

team that has been fine-ish this was this was a this was a this was a like things went as much as Alabama didn't get going consistently against Missouri this was the opposite of that completely how many 300 yard games uh had max starter max brosmer the quarter max quarterback for negative six he had no 300 yes so negative so you are close

mathematically you're right there and it's not and it's not like they were like fuck it he gets to throw the ball 60 times he did that on 33 throws 320 yards passing

when his previous high was 271 against the University of Rhode Island this was against a fellow conference member had he thrown four TDs before as a starter in 2024. No chance. No chance. No, he hadn't thrown three, but

instead just got freaky loose here and threw for four. It hasn't done that since he played who on earth is that game. The Stony Brook Sea Wolves were the last team. Hell yeah. And he played, yeah. The Sea Wolves were the last one to taste taste the max that max had to offer so good for max prosper man yeah let it let it out and as for maryland you don't get two good things in a row if you're maryland science i can't i can't help you just i mean as fun as the indiana thing is for us i'm sure there are a lot of big ten teams

maryland is one of them that are like god damn it god why can't why can't we just have that what happened once why do we have to be shitting around it four and four all the time This sucks. You know, you know who's not 4 and 4? And it's a little bit better than that, man. I just have to say somebody today, a Nebraska fan was like, yeah, man, we're just going to throw like a crippling pick. Don't worry. We're not coming back from this.

Sure enough. Cripling pick against Ohio State, 2117. The Buckeyes escape. Just wanted to just go, hey, Dylan Raola, when your arm gets hit and you can't feel it. Just come out of the game for a minute, man. I was disappointed with Ohio State fans Trash throwing efforts I think like if Texas is going to throw enough trash

To get a call overturned Under some spurious Circumstances Like why weren't you bringing like Old TVs to check on the Like what are you doing here? Do you take this sport seriously or not? Yeah I don't think they care much

Because they weren't throwing like Like they were throwing like cats and, you know, sofas and... Right. Like, I want to see a car battery out on the field. Yeah, they're just lazy, really. That's what it is. And they're not strong. They're weak.

They don't take enough steroids, and they don't care about football. They're probably spending all their time reading books. Nerds. Fucking nerds. Huge a nerds. Piggo, Ohio State, by the way, to have a clear targeting call where somebody put their shoulder directly in someone's skull in a defenseless position.

and everyone in the stadium goes, Buh. Spencer, I do like your point that Ryan Day isn't good enough at being mad to really be. And that I think is the one thing that has seeped into me and it's like

that's why he's unqualified to be head coach of this team. Not of any team. Like you could be bad at being mad and there are a lot of schools where you do just fine. But like, it is I think disqualifying if you're the head coach of Ohio State.

That time he was mad at Lou Holtz and it kind of rang as performative. Yes. Yeah. I'm so darn mad. Yeah. So, how dare you? Sir.

Yeah. Like, listen, is it a sign that maybe Ryan Day has a healthy outlook on life and, you know, good mental health practices? Again, disqualifying. But you shouldn't be the head coach of Ohio State. Or just be the chill coach all the time and just be like, take it or leave it.

There are guys who are just the chill coach. Tom Osborne. was 100% the chill coach when he was in Nebraska did not get mad. Bill Belichick's a chill coach. Bill Belichick is a chill coach. I think I saw, like every time Bill Belichick was mad, he looked more irked. Like maybe Ryan Day could do a good job looking kind of irked, but he never looks truly furious.

I don't think Ryan Day is capable of spluttering. When I think of a really, a coach who can get real angry, splutter is the level I started. Say what you will. Brian Kelly's anchor is believable. Brian Kelly to Ohio State. I, yeah, like, I think Brian Kelly's the man for that job. What do you think, Buckeye, sound off in the comments.

Because you know what? When Brian Kelly comes over to the long snapper and goes, I wish you were never born, I believe he means that. When Brian Kelly walks into the office on day one and says, the last mother, all of you motherfuckers got the last guy fired and that's not going to be me. I believe that he feels that in his soul. When he says on national TV, I'm going to kill all of my players. I mean, these are all like Woody Hayes is smiling up from hell and going, yes, absolutely. This is perfect. More.

Yeah, just this nude, jiggly man sitting there in the furnace. Yes, thank God. Woody Hayes just punching the shit out of Satan. And Satan's like, I wish I never let him in. I hate him so. Oh, God. Someone take this asshole out of here. he's having so much fun here it sucks

no one's ever been happier he's just fucking riding up tandem bike with Richard Nixon high-fiving and kicking other people at last all of Woody Hayes' political opinions making like Satan say like okay easy easy

dial it down a little why doesn't anyone want to play pickleball with us Oh, God, that's... Speaking of political opinions... Ah, you're going to go where I think you're going, yeah. Let's do it. Texas Tech!

Your kicker scored a touchdown on a trick play and then revealed that his undershirt had MAGA written on it. This was then broadcast far and wide throughout the MAGAverse, including by at least one official Trump account in celebration of apparently it's cool when some... athletes don't stick to sports. This kicker then missed a field goal in a game that his team lost by one point. The end. Andalusia Alabama's finest. Lee Spurckhart. I don't know why this is part of his bio, but it's like the rest of his family attended Auburn University. What are you

trying to say, Texas Tech? You're trying to say he needs to transfer? Are you saying that he's the black sheep? Or is he the only smart one in the family? Based on today, I have some questions about that yeah Reese Burkart baby so he's yeah he's got a career ahead of him at least he does he does and you know what he owned the libs

he 100% owned the libs oh I feel so owned oh god I feel so owned right now Texas Tech with the loss too an absolutely tragicomical TCU team at times somehow five and three if you told me what if you asked me before I looked

more wins than Florida State we'll finish it yeah it's like all these teams that are disappointing. At times throughout the year, we've been like, oh, they're really struggling. It's like, no, they're doing way better than Florida State. They're like triple Florida State. Like Akron is two and six. They're doing better than Florida State. They're twice as good as Florida State. They're 100% better. Damn, damn. UTSA, ooh, they should be like five and three by now. They're only three and five. Well, at least they're not Florida State.

well speaking of owen the haters got to say it current update on an ongoing game and i think this is going to be somewhat close to the final outcome here Cincinnati 14 Colorado 31 uh Colorado confirmed good football team yeah as soon as um yep they they really threw everybody off their off their trail by losing to Nebraska after looking really mediocre in week one and since then. Like, I guess as long as we don't treat them as if they're a traveling celebrity side show, if we just sort of treat them as like, oh, they're one of several big 12 teams that are pretty good. Then they just act like that, I guess.

I think that's probably the key. I will say this. Rather than come clean and apologize for my previous dismissal of the program, I will take credit for their success. Yeah. By starting that trend. You're welcome, Colorado. When I said that, I don't. believe in them, I secretly did.

I was helping. Yeah. Also, I'll double down and say, I'm still right, because remember, Ponzi schemes have great returns before they don't. And sure, he'll be there next year, I'm sure. Be somewhere. It depends on what God says. We're all somewhere. God's going to pick up the phone.

It depends on what the big agent in the sky has to say. Mm-hmm. In the most stable outcome in college football, Kansas lost a one-score game. Just all they're doing this. Kansas 2 and 6 more wins than Florida State. A hundred percent better than Florida State. Kansas is having a wildly disappointing season, a full win better than Florida State. And like, yeah, and they won a lot by both of their wins.

Like, FSU's only win was a bullshit little squeaker of her cow. Hey, continue this pattern, by the way. Complete horseshit team, total disaster, epically bad, on a generational scale. Oklahoma at four and four. Way better than four of state. Down to their 15th receiver. Yeah. A cast station attendant named Derek.

ECU who fired their coach is currently three wins better than Florida State. This is a rough game, y'all. This is a rough, rough game. Cal, who lost heartbreakers in literally half of their games, is also... Two Florida State. Two Florida State. Including one of them to Florida State is also three wins better than Florida State, beating the fuck out of Oregon State. Yeah, they took out some...

Yeah. Finally, Cal had a no-doubter. Yeah. That's right. As we proceed to the ultimate seven-and-five or five-and-seven outcome for Justin Wilcox, who don't knock the game, all right, respect the hustle. We're going to give you the same thing every single year, and you're going to expect a different thing every year,

even though you know what you're getting. Cal's point differential at 6 and 6 is going to be just amazing. In that same vein, 4 and 4, West Virginia. Sure. Which West Virginia team did we get this week, Ryan? Well, you kind of got both, honestly. Like, because they led this game. They beat Arizona by five points.

they let it pretty late by two scores and they let it get dicey they let it get kind of close in ways that it shouldn't have Arizona there's a team that's disappointed started two and ten looked uh looked like they you know might have the one of the best offenses in the country they have two more wins than florida state Utah Utah lost to Houston and is having a brutally bad first season in the big like just absolutely disappointing There are reasons for it. Four and four. Three wins. More wins by week four than Florida State would have all year if you gave them two extra games.

Yes, yes. I'm going to say, by the way, going back to Arizona, Taita Roa and McMillan, if you added up all of his receiving yards, including the 202 he had today by himself, it's probably more than Florida State's entire passing offense. The defending national champions have lost three games. Florida State will not win three games. Yeah. Yeah.

Yeah. So, like, everyone, you're doing awesome compared. My team has won one game, but we feel good about that. Right. Literally, everyone feels better than Florida State. We're building on that. Kent State, I know you haven't won anything, but you have the most purple hearts. Think about it this way.

Like, Kent State won't even let Florida State be the best at being the worst. But, like, I mean, like, Ken State has a reason. Oh, yeah. They got a lot of reasons, yes. You played a hard fucking schedule in some ways. at times has been harder than Florida States. I want to go ahead, by the way, allow Kent State to get a provisional game

against one of these 37 under teams that I watch on TikTok, where it's like grown guys who have to go to work getting their ACL shredded. Like guys who are like, yeah, I got to get back. It's lunch, and, you know, I have a concussion. So it's time to go ahead to be a crane operator again.

If you have a watch that the best is, the guys on the raw room will watch 37 under football, and they fucking love it. They're like, oh, hootin and hollering at these, like, grown men moving very slowly to cripple each other for nothing. Absolutely nothing. Oh, my, I do. Now I feel bad that we didn't celebrate enough Bama becoming bowl eligible the day. Big, big, big accomplishment. That was a little touch and go for a while.

Print the shirts, guys. Print the shirts. that's that's big for them though yeah that's big for that program you know what that's that's a goal we set at the start of the year yeah also congratulations to Tulane for becoming ball eligible at the expense of um my team the north texas mean green yeah all i can say is that we tried to keep up with those those cats and they just out jammed us they did hey hey yukons five and three florida state has to win out To match Yukon's win total. To match. Yeah. Also, 7 and 1 Memphis, don't ask how they won today.

Not important. Not important. Not important. Don't. Irrelevant. Did they have to fight off Charlotte for this? Yeah, they had to fight off a team that can't afford sleeves for their head coach. He keeps eating them.

It's not fair. It just keeps you. Hey, where's, what was Mike Norville's previous school? Memphis, baby. Its record is the opposite of Florida States. Don't worry. They already lost to them, too. Is this very much a real power behind the throne?

Was Ryan Silverfield? Did you hear me, Alex Gershner? Wow. Wow. I hope this is what you're going to confront him out at the Atlanta Live show, obviously. That is. Oh, well, listen, we're going to throw all the Ryan Silverfield praise right back in his line. Let's invite him.

Ryan Silverfield, we're officially coming you a ticket to the show. He's going to be a little busy getting ready for Indiana and the title. Dude, that's a really good point. The Indiana Pitt title game, I'm sorry. What's going to be more delightful? An Indiana, Notre Dame playoff game, or a Pitt, Penn State playoff game? Pit Penn State, where they win by a score that you and I could just pull out of a hat. Sure.

Right? Where it's like the score's done in wingedings and James Franklin has done something insanely stupid with the clock management. Yeah. I feel like... Cannot fucking wait. If you give them a playoff. with Pitt in Indiana in very prominent spots, I think that

is what it will take to get the, like, private equity and venture capitalists out of the idea of investing in college football. This is not stable. There is nothing. This sport has a coach who only wins when he shitting his pants. We're absolutely

not getting involved in this. Our business is stripping things for parts. This shit has no parts to strip. We're out. You know what has no parts and you can't buy? that's right a sexy apple car baby that's right rolling through Pittsburgh at night

being like A quarterback through for a hundred A quarterback through for 108 yards It's so hard right now Inzer afternoons Yeah baby Night dudes Night dudes

Unless anyone else has anything I think we've hit the end of all possible discussion of college football. We got San Diego State has Wazoo on the Ropes in the fourth quarter. They're up 1914 and on the Washington State goal line. So that's worth watching since Wazoo's 6 and 1. I don't know if there's anything else major that we have overlooked. Let's see here.

Hawaii, of course, is winning on some app. Sure. They're winning on the Chick-fil-A app. that's the trick to a one uh south dakota state is uh won one the game of south dakotas in overtime that was a big one fcs game of the day outside of the big sky of course best conference yeah by the way really hoping hawaii wins that game it'd be their first mountain west victory so let's nevada do them a solid y'all don't care anyway montana state was off so really nothing in fcs mattered this week sure that's right sure that's right umass is two and six that's more wins than florida

There's so many teams you can do this. Yeah, Buffalo suffered a crushing loss today against Ohio. They're still four and four, which is three more wins. Florida State's going to have. Buffalo's going to grab onto that fucking Music City Bowl bid with both hands. And we welcome you. Yeah, can have a great time into Detroit. You know who doesn't even get to go to fucking Detroit?

Florida State. Today, Florida State scored their biggest play on a QB sneak that just didn't stop. Like, just ran into the line, no one tackled him, and he just popped out and went for another 40 yards. There's something real special right now. Mike Norvell looks, I will say this, Mike Norval does look like he's in hell the whole time. He is hating every second of this. You know what it is? It's the same look.

you see a parent when their child is doing something wildly embarrassing in public where you're like, yeah, I see him pooping in the aisle, and I'm going to do something about it. And I'm just taking a moment to process how I got here. You know, USC's having a terrible time in the Big Ten. They have two Big Ten wins. That's more than Florida State has wins. What's UCLA's record? They were off today. Pretty sure they're, I'm pretty sure they have two wins. Probably. Yeah, they have two. They definitely have more than Florida State.

Whew. Yeah. So, now that we've concluded a comprehensive list of every team that has more wins in Florida State, and also posited that Hugh Freeze needs to get powerful diarrhea up before every single game for the rest of the season to save his job. can you imagine can you imagine the fine mom calls if you freeze beats Alabama and they're all like well it's only

because he had the decorier it's not fair it's performance enhancing cramps hey yeah old poo freeze over there got them superpowers pooper powers if you will that's right and now that we have also

in the space of the same program a mere 90 minutes 92 minutes at this point of broadcast greatness also posited nay, I think asserted that an order for Texas A&M

to continue winning and establish a new tradition and not mess up the positive juju they have going they need a man to go up into section 336 in the third deck of Kyle Field and do nothing

but a barrel of the most powerful available cocaine and then be arrested for it every game by the Texas A&M police. I think you got your monies worth by coming to the full cast effort. Finally, Pat McAfee's destiny is made clear. I'll be honest, I'm really excited for A&M Auburn on November 23rd now.

Something's got to give. How much can the body take? It'll probably be Hugh Fries's colon. Hugh Freeze went into the injury tent again Well, not exactly One of my favorite parts is his name is Freeze Which implies solid But in fact, liquid is the move

Batman. I have so many people wrong with my ass They're like Hugh melt He never stops Yeah, so this is been the full cast after dark brought to you by our sponsor prize picks you're welcome you're welcome you're welcome run your game prize picks um i am spencer this has been ryan nanny jason kirk and yes douglas rayus serone on the ones and twos thank you for listening uh we love you and uh section

three 36 stay hi Thank you.