Shutdown Fullcast - PJ Fleck's Sleepytime Manifesto For Kids

Episode Date: September 30, 2026

A humiliating lack of ball knowledge once again derails a Senate hearingThis is PJ Fleck's becoming fyiAuburn espionage (more than the usual amount of Auburn espionage)If you care that much about the Protect College Sports Act, holler at your elected reps about itSeptember Heisman candidates, reviewedWeek 5 college football schedule, previewedThe Shutdown Fullcast is on Patreon. This is how we pay our producers, and occasionally ourselves. If you'd like to help with that, give us $4 a month (or a larger, funnier number of your choosing) and we'll give you bonus episodes, including Fullcast After Dark during football season. We think this is a pretty good deal (for you)The Shutdown Fullcast is produced by delicious and energizing Monster Energy Master Chief Michael Ray SurberFullcast theme variant arranged and performed by Patrick HowellWhen they're not ruining the Fullcast, Spencer and Holly write a year-round newsletter over at Channel 6Before the world ends (again), treat yourself to Jason’s critically acclaimed novel and other workCheck out Surber’s band, Killer Antz (new album out now!), and listen to PodcasterinoPurchase exclusive Shutdown Fullcast gear at preownedairboats.com, real website, not a trapThrough September 30, all proceeds from our PTKU merch collection will be donated to Alianza Translatinx

I just now looked at the more fast-moving part of the internet today. I had been busy, and I'm just discovering that some sort of government thing was derailed for far too long by attempting to parse whether the Atlanta Hawks and Iowa Hawkeyes are the same thing or something. Yeah, so this came during testimony in the Jack Smith case. Right now there's a show trial on for former special prosecutor Jack Smith, who investigated Trump before the natural shift towards fascism that everybody seems to believe happened in 2024. Anyway, they have a little show trial going on for him, right? And this Senator Schmidt from Missouri, Truman State, by the way, did not.

We usually, we're usually like, yeah, that dumbass went to Harvard. No, this is a Truman State grad. Okay. Oh, you know who did go to Harvard. Who? Never mind. Tell the story and I'll come back to who else in this picture went to Harvard. Okay.

So he's grilling Jack Smith and he says, hey, man, on February 3rd, 2024 or whatever, you were in Atlanta for a Hawks game, right? Jack Smith's like, I don't think so. And he's like, a day before. a day before District Attorney Fannie Willis admitted that her persecution of our beloved Donald Trump was in fact a lie? And he's like, hold on, I don't really... Jackson, it's like...

We have this photograph of you in Iowa with two chains. Yeah, like, and he's kind of like scratching his head. And then that gives Schmidt a chance to like get his shit off where he's like, I think you're a dirt bag. Call him a dirt bag on the floor of the Senate. Just like, just spitballing. While, so like this guy's like when the fuck was I at a hawks game? Yeah, so like Jack Smith is sitting there like man was I in a fucking hawks game like he's really like who the fuck are the hawks?

Yeah, he's like man exactly. He nodded a hawks game but he was not in Atlanta. He was not in Atlanta. So Joe has not been. No, he's amazing. C.J. McCollum didn't die for this. So Jack Smith is jacksmith's from upper New York. Right.

Right. But you know who he does know. But weirdly also in this moment he is not the villain either, which is. No. So he, he's going. Oh, there's a poster board. By the way, they hold up a poster board.

Does it have a hawks logo on it? No, but it does have, no, but it has like big, blown up attack ads, pictures of Fannie and her State Farm arena.

Office boyfriend and the arena. And it was like talking about being at the Hawks game and they were like, gotcha, but they put the poster board back up and they took it down really, really fast. And then of all fucking people

to come riding to the rescue, we have finally found a use for her. Amy fucking Klob Klob. This is the part I saw. The Klob, Big Ten West, Ballnower, apparently. The only part of this that

I have seen was Klob barreling in to say, like, you're talking about the hawk guys, right? Well, the best part of this is that Smith remembers this, and he's like, oh yeah, I remember because we went to see Caitlin Clark. Who does not play for the hawks, mind you. Everybody, by the way,

when Caitlin Clark has mentioned, everyone in the room kind of goes like, oh yeah, yeah. Yeah, there's like this little bit of. So here's the best part. Well, no, here's the part that I was coming back to. It's all the best part. The best part is the faces, the gotcha Armstrong faces that Schmidt is making. The guy behind, the guy behind Jack Smith holding up the poster board, not the one who looks like Ted Cruz's spore, the other one.

Yeah. He graduated law school three years ago. He was, in fact, president of the school's federalist society. and he is now Schmidt's chief counsel. Yeah. His name is Ethan Harper. He has a real weird looking face. He also worked for Josh Hawley, which I feel should be disqualified.

Anyway, Harvard Law, J.D., B.A. New York University. Mm-hmm. It's time to ask if they're good schools. Do we know which basketball season this was? Uh, 203. I guess if Caitlin was at Iowa at the time, yeah, it would have been around there. Yeah, 23, 24. Not a great Hawks campaign.

Oh, yeah, 23, 24. Yeah. But, but let's, first of all, shout out to the University of Maryland for getting some pub, because this was at the University of Maryland. This has been a hard month for them. Joining the Big Ten finally paid off. Exactly. Wait, what?

It all led to this. Oh, my God. Is this, do we have to update the lore finally? I think they made it now. Finally. Congressional recognized. The Maryland is in the Big Ten. Oh,

uh, congratulations, Mizzou, your senator. A total dumbass. Like a, like a flustering, sweaty-faced,

very red hands shaking with rage, idiot didn't go to Mizzou. So good job. I feel like this, this guy, this Missouri idiot, is like the only conservative who apparently actually

pays attention to women's sports because he doesn't know there's men's sports, right? Yeah. It's like basketball. That's the sport. Caitlin Carl Clark Clark plays.

Yeah. And then Klobuchar comes on and goes, by the way, not only says like, did you confuse this for the Iowa Hawkeyes? Is that, that's Iowa, the hawk eyes. And you can just see like everybody behind Schmidt is like, shit. The clob comes in. Yeah. So there's a state known as Iowa. It sucks.

Then she said, I am the senator from Minnesota where we have the gophers. Like she said it real slow. You know, and he's like, by the way, at one point he's like, well, I'm a prosecutor and I, and she's like, the only time where Amy Klobuchar being like outright evil has actually benefited anyone, she's like, well, I was a prosecutor too, by the way. You know, Kurt, good for you, right? Yeah, ladies can send poor people to the chair too. Let's get club on game day.

Yeah. But yeah, complete lack of ball, complete lack of ball knowing there. Just let her talk shit. Just let her talk shit. Yeah. You're like, oh my God, she slapped Pat McAfee. She's so rude. She was throwing staplers at Kirk.

That's fine. That's fine. She does that all the fucking time. I'm glad you two are paying attention to today's top political news so that I could. No, this was one of those things where Holly grabbed me and was like, you need to watch this immediately. Listen, there's one person in this, in this partnership who usually grabbed. grabs the other one and says, you have to watch a seven-minute video, and it's not usually me. Yeah. But the thing that grabbed me was like, oh, my God, everyone's talking about the hawks.

That never happens. What's this? My NBA team has deserved a little publicity. No, in fact, quite the contrary. Klob said, stop talking about the fucking hawks. no one was at their game let's talk about the golden gophers and their outstanding guard slash center now he can do both Greg Johnson our coach is bleeding from the fucking face his baldheads covered in mayo

did you see just see that okay wait this has happened twice now in like three days because I'm pretty sure I was the only person who was awake when that happened I mean I saw it I yeah.

Wait, this was after, like, the flex, Flex blood face thing? Yeah. Yeah, yeah, yeah. And then,

I'm sorry. Flex crimson mask. He's got a little color on him. The part I missed was after, at some point after at a news conference, he was like, by the way, Minnesotans,

this is your reminder to pick up the pace in our blood drive. We're ranked 11th in the Big Ten. Awesome. Awesome. Nectom brutality. Smearing one of his support in its blood in his face for a good cause. Yes.

Here. I see a chance to do a little PR, a little promo, buddy. It wouldn't even laid on the West Coast man. The announcers had nothing. They were just like, ugh. Who was this wild man from afar who's unbeknownst to our gangs? I don't blame them to be clear. Everyone in the stands is like, yeah, we're high anyway.

If I'm not one of the, like, if I'm not one of the, like, if. I'm not the, if I'm not the first person to have been aware of what kind of human being, what kind of specific brand of crazy person, PJ Fleck is I'm in like the first five. You're in the wave, yeah. This is my day one. And so I, but even I in that moment was like, bro. It's, I think the beauty of it is his mental illness has not degraded over time. Nope.

It's only intensified. It's gone from he has created his own lore His and like adopted Obscure animals into his like cosmological Framework that explains the universe He's gone from that to like Bloodface Like it's it's getting sharper and honing itself and becoming more physical

Of all the coaches I actually want to write a book That one I believe you mean a manifesto I've read house of leaves. Yes, yes I I do. Or even like a children's book. Okay. That would also be a children's manifesto. Or like what like if I just, I would, I would have like a book of that just line drawings of animals.

And I was like, PJ Fleck, name all these animals and then tell me exactly what you think of them. That's a book. Competitor. Aggression. He really. Playmaking. He's like, it was, it was very reassuring to me.

in the sense of the cosmic order because, you know, he has, for PJ, really toned it down since he, you know, since he got to Minnesota. He see, like this for him, but then it's like, you get a peek every once in a while and you're like, ah, no, the old dog still got it. Yeah, it's definitely like we went like a solid, what, three, four, five, six years without like wacky town PJ Fleck emerging. And then after midnight. It's the time, motherfucker. We were on the West Coast, right? This must be what he gets up to after every midnight. It was like, you know, Big Ten teams are usually done playing by 1.30 p.m.

But like, this man was out too late. This was the last FBS game playing on Saturday night. Yeah, if this was the West Coast... And for some reason, I was awake for it. If this was the West Coast, he's like, hey, you know what? You know what? You know what might make me a better competitor? You know what might be...

Let's have to watch the sunrise. Yeah, no, listen. First of all, I'm going to take some legal marijuana in the form of an edible. I've heard they're great. Second of all, what would marijuana even do to him? Nothing. That. That bounced right off of him.

Yeah. I'm convinced he was, I'm convinced he was thinking like. He was just fucking no-cellet. He was thinking like, long mind. He was thinking like in terms of the great ancestors and forefathers. And he was like, yeah, blood. That's what unites us. Cannabis.

Elite. Elite. Like PJ's version of when the edible. hits is just him like calmly pushing a shopping cart through Aldi or something. I think when it comes to, comes to Fleck, it is when he hits the edible. Yeah. The edible is like shit. Jesus Christ. Packing a town. Just knocking the sleepy time bear out of his chair. Be like, get up. Understandable, have a good day, sir. Yeah, he's got the sleepy time bear doing mat drills.

need to compete. I love your heart. You're not tired. That's not real. That chair is your prison. Think like a fish. Fish don't eat sitting chairs. What do they do?

Bear. Bears love fish. You know what bears love? Blood. Come with me. Come with me. Eat my arm. Eat me bear.

Eat me. I'm going to go to Washington. Yeah. Oh my God. Which one? fleck in like Jesus Christ Superstar. This is my body. I'll eat it myself.

Eat of it. Elite of it. I am also really, really pleased that we have had another story that was just custom made for these hands, fell right into our loving embrace. That is this immediately before this broadcast. We found out about the arrest of Daniel Rudolph Jenrath of Franklin, Tennessee. Hey, Franklin mentioned. First of all, that's a name.

Genrath? It is. Yeah, Dave Rudy. Dave Rudy Jenrath. Midnight X-Men's going to go hard. He was arrested for theft of trade secrets and computer tampering. According to police and court records. Michigan, you're off the hook.

We have a new scandal. Auburn. An Auburn University employee, David Rudolph, Jenrath, was arrested for theft of trade secrets and computer tampering. According to Auburn police, what a story. sainted phrase. Auburn police. Only the elite. Yeah, we're an unidentified business reported proprietary information.

They've been stolen and shared with competitors. And this is that information. Confidential proprietary information consisting of Auburn University Athletics Information without consent. And he tampered with computer systems with the intent to harass Auburn University the athletics by disclosing that information to the opponents. Dumb-du-dum. Yeah.

That this is, this is to me what AI is. Auburn intelligence. That's right. What on earth, what on earth do you have on a computer that everyone does not already know about Auburn athletics? What like, what good is, like, okay, you know Auburn's intentions, you know Auburn's expectations. You know what Auburn believes will happen in the Auburn game? Yeah. Okay.

Do you believe that puts you ahead of square one? Like, what? That's a really good way of doing that. Yeah, do you think like, they're like, hey, listen, we're just going to let Byron Brown make shit up. Whoa! Oh my God. That's incredible. Auburn's plan.

Like, there could be a lot of words, could be none. It doesn't matter. What also could you. possibly have that on like Hugh Freeze that could embarrass him or be important like even if it was old info you can't put anything out there about Hugh Freeze that has any value because it is by by all like terms inherently worthless right like if I come to you and I'm like hey you know Hugh Freeze was looking at weird porn yeah of course he was yeah Jesus forgave him yeah yeah yeah exactly we've gone over this here Hugh freeze

Already forgiven. We've already, we've preemptively forgiven. Preemptively forgiven, yeah. Whatever weirdness. Whatever, yeah. Oh, my God. Here he was looking at whatever. That's fine.

By the way, I also know that this, if this is the same guy, the Twitter bio is, Hope has a name. Jesus. Like, oh yeah. That's, yes, absolutely. Also, listed his occupation as entrepreneur. To the shutdown forecast. You are listening to the Internet's only college football podcast.

I am Spencer Hall joined by Jason Kirk, Holly Anderson, and Michael Serber on the ones and twos. I would like to start by discussing. Can we talk about the law briefly? But yeah, we've dabbled in law a little bit. We've discussed both Washington's so far. Yes, Washington and Washington. as well as Auburn espionage.

So this is really becoming quite the legal podcast. Yeah. We're going to lead with one more little sort of legal note, which is that the Protect College Sports Act did pass the Senate. Okay. By a wide margin, like a crazy stupid margin. A margin is so wide, like I think it was 74 to 24, something like that. A wide number of votes from a wide number of people.

It passed by such a margin that it made me think. that this can't possibly mean anything. That's a little suspicious. Well, like, enough, enough senators, enough senators agreed on it that it has to be meaningless. That was my thought. Is it like, some of them are just like, ah, fuck it, this isn't going anywhere anyway.

I think, well, the Senate has this weird collegiality thing, where someone in the Senate can look at somebody else who has just firebombed their car. and they would be like, well, that's simply not how things are done here, is it. It literally is because they eat in the same cafeteria. Like, it's not deeper than that. Yeah, that's it. It goes back forever.

It's like how we were always nice to Ryan. Yeah, that's right. It's exactly the same dynamic. And for some reason, I think if enough of them agreed on this thing, they must have just been like, the house can't get together because they're going to impeach. The house can deal with this in six. six months and then they'll send it back to us and we'll say I don't know what that is. And they take turns at this too.

Like, Ossoff and Warnock are extremely obvious about this shit. Yeah. There's a bit of trading that happens when it goes to like horse trading of votes. The other thing that I- You take turn getting yelled at. No, when it's between two states, it's literally you take turns getting yelled at. Yeah. Like, okay.

They're not even sneaky about it. Your staffers are going to have a bad week this week. Then my staffers are going to have a bad week this week. Yeah. Mm-hmm. I think that's what's happening here. I think it's like large, especially because if 74 people are voting for something that Ted Cruz is signed

onto, that to me is assigned it is going nowhere. That's, I have no inside information. I have no real politic calculator here. Only the thought in my head that if enough people agree on that and Ted Cruz is signed on to it, that there is no hope of this ever happening.

I mean, which he wrote half of it. Like, likely continue, just based on the number of blah, blah, blah, blah shit that we've mentioned that, you know, the House blah, blah timeline, this and that and so forth. Like, okay, pass the Senate. Lots of things have passed the Senate. Yeah.

And then lots of things go to die in the House. Sometimes, by the way, class moved by parliamentarians, sometimes the bill will, do you have a dish that's just kind of been floating around your counter for six months? Like, I need to put that away. I don't put it over here. leave come back yeah that's it's that's a spot now i moved yeah yeah that's a spot now that's you told me to move it i moved it i moved it yeah look yeah there we go moved it put it over there and i moved it around there oh no it's over there yeah that's what happens to bills a lot bills in the

the i'm just a bill sitting on capitol hill song they really do leave out the numerous ways that a bill can just kind of be left to die of neglect tabled uh put on the back burner so to speak just oh yeah here that's that's over for reconciliation just just it's gonna die Yeah. So there's a lot of different ways this can happen. This is my way of asking everybody here. This is a bad bill. It's a bill that's designed to basically suppress wages for athletes now that they're actually getting money and they're in the market. It's a way to favor institutions and power. You can go read all of this. It's all publicly available. It's all bullshit for the most part. That's just trying to lower cost for several different power players trying to lower their overhead as institutions. We should be specific. Bag men. Bag men are on the edge of their seat. Yeah.

Mainly. But I also want this. Everybody freaks out about this a lot. And, you know, online I know that like half of social media are people just with unmedicated anxiety disorders venting. That's it, right? Just panicking out loud. I understand that has a use in a time. but I would encourage you to be very organized about this if you do actually care about it

and if you're listening to sound of my voice chances are you do uh you have representatives you have senators you can go bug them like bug them annoy them i encourage you as a citizen your job is to make their day worse and i think you should go do that right instead of i cannot overstate the beauty of the moment that you get to when you identify yourself on the phone and the staffer on the other end in oh I don't know. John Ossoff's office just pulling out just goes, just this little just.

It is a great moment. It hits right in the sternum. It's so nice. Yeah. Chances are, by the way, of course, that the house, there is an election coming up if you didn't know. If you weren't aware from the different states ads

that you get while watching college football, I love that. I've learning so many scandalous things every single like midterm. season about people I had no idea, right? Like, I'll be watching a Rutgers game. Some motherfucker named Two Rock is there is a Nintendo 64 game that no one played and now there's a guy named Two Rock who has just full of scandals. The game was not real. No one played it. Don't pretend you played it.

My brother played it. It was in our house for years and I've never touched it. You saw it in your house. No, that's what I'm saying. I can't prove it was real. He played it a lot. Me? No. Yeah. Or he says he plays it a lot. The thing with this bill, it's been, you know, in the news for years and it's kind of this like, do I have to care about this yet? The answer's no if you don't want to.

But, you know, if you do feel like, you know, yelling about it, it's, you know, I think the thing that really, really clarifies it, if you want, just one zip thing is yesterday before the passing of the bill, Corey Booker, a former Stanford Tide End, who scored a touchdown in 1990 there, proposed an amendment that would hold coaching. to basically the same regulations that the bill wants to impose on players. Coaches would have their transferring restricted in various ways. They would have a salary cap, their buyouts would be cap, blah, blah, blah, blah. And the amendment didn't get attached because they only want to restrict players. Players are the bad guys here. Coaches have been openly making money off of this amateur sport since 1870-something.

notice it was what three years three four five years after players started getting money that suddenly it's a problem um seven years whatever but like um yeah that that kind of clarifies exactly what it is that nick sabin and pat mackafee and uh all these huge figures all over ESPN are telling you that you must pass this thing well the brunt of the financial impact would be on players and like if there were a scenario where everyone is getting you say there's financial crisis okay all of you can take one for the team then okay i'll listen to that but like when this proposed amendment makes very explicit that like oh no fuck that uh lane kiffin can make 13 million dollars a year that doesn't matter it's a quarterback making three million dollars that's the problem um that to me clarifies the entire thing yeah

okay that's that's what you're about yeah we see that um so So yeah, I would prefer that you be calm, mean, and organized about this instead of just complaining about it. You know, we all know things. We all know there are bad people. I'll say that. If you're going to complain, do it. Yeah, yeah. Pick up a phone and do it.

I don't need you posting at me about it. Yeah, yeah. I already agree with you. It's fine. Yeah, exactly. Did you see this? Are you having an anxiety attack? No, man.

No, no, I'm really. No, we're cool. No. You know what I'm doing? I'm being the worst person in my senator's inbox is what I am doing. That's when I'm like, John. I know where you went to high school and I know your football team did not exist and they would have sucked even if they did he went to Pidea that's that team ain't hitting I'll tell you fucking dork yeah well you can't even call it the Oberlin of Atlanta because Oberlin's got a football team that's right what did John Osoft do uh he voted voted for this shit oh okay you know and somebody's gonna be like oh it was a meaningless vote and I was like there's no such thing as a meaningless vote bitch don't tell me that I continue to reserve the right to call him the biggest goddamn twirp There's ever been.

Yeah. He's looking presidential. Yeah, all right. You're voting to limit how much I can pay a wide receiver. Representatives are real fun, by the way. That's, again, most fun you can have in government is dealing with the house. Because every two years, you're always on the line, motherfucker. Always.

It's great. It's the closest thing you'll have to being a coach in a major conference, right? Two years. You've got two years to make something happen. And they're stuck with you, too. It's not like a center where they got the whole state. Like, no, they got to deal with just you until they redistrict you. and then you get somebody else to annoy.

Oh, yeah. Those offices are local. Those complaints are highly local. Hell, you can call them and be like, why ain't we got a portillo's? I saw Kennesaw have one of those. They got them cake shakes. Get on that shit.

Bye. Click. Dark to tomorrow. Where's our cookout? We still got a fucking Del Taco. That shit sucks. Yeah. That shit will have been good since 1994.

They got a Culver's up here. You're trying to tell me we're falling behind. Kennesaw? Jesus Christ. I went to the Culver's. and Kennesaw, by the way, two days ago, because the boys immediately demanded it once they found out it was close. You know, a thing I've noticed about Culvers is their establishments are like the only place I hear country music,

which feels backward in a way. However, Wisconsin's got farms and deer and guns and beer and all the things, trucks, you know. Shorts, there were shorts in all weather. So, like, I guess it makes sense. I will tell you the poll of having. of wearing boots and a hat. It's irresistible to anyone. Anyone.

I don't mean just Americans. But if you have an excuse to wear boots and a hat, like a big cowboy hat. You should write a song about that. Hey, I got an idea. I feel the tune coming on. I feel a song coming on. I do,

I have a song that I do really wish I could have written in time for this show because we are going to talk about a very specific topic today. But I'll put this on the list. This will be song number two. Yes. Like starting now? No, no, no, no, no. We got to finish talking about, we got to finish talking about.

We started the show? Yeah, we did. Is this still about the Atlanta Hawks? No, this is not about the Atlanta Hawks. Man, nothing is. Nothing. Who is the protagonist? Not the Hawks.

Are they one of them Dutero-Taginists? No. No, it's not happening. Looking through this season for Channel 6, the newsletter, we have, we have Getty Images, because we're like, hey, you know, we should, the people need Getty images. Getty images, photography, it's a lifeblood of this sport when it comes to storytelling. You don't really get around it. So we're like, finally, let's just, you know, we'll still use some.

It took us five years to be able to afford to get Getty images. Let's be real. Yes, but we can do that now, which is great. Thank you for your money. Yes. And we had a photo of Jacob Harris, the tight end who scored the 72-yard tinty to beat Penn State on Saturday this past Saturday. And in the photo, it's the most majestic Wisconsin photo ever because it's a little fish eye. Jacob Harris is going and he's leaning towards the camera and flexing.

And he looks immense. And then in brilliant blue on the right shoulder of his jersey is the Culver's logo from the Culver's sponsorship. And I was like, art. Arts everywhere if you open your eyes. Cathedral's everywhere. Yeah, absolutely beautiful. We did have one thing we wanted to discuss today. Jason, you recommended a very special topic, one that is close to our heart.

It's one to hit every year at this time. The September Heisman concept, which, as I wrote until Saturday newsletter, going out any second now, the, it is often used as like an insult. Like, oh, that guy was, you know, he didn't, he wasn't as good as week one or week two, blah, blah, blah. It's not, it's, it is good to be good in weeks one through four. It is good to be briefly awesome. It's better than not being awesome at all. and to have been awesome in September is no guarantee that you will be awesome through December. However, it does not mean that you are not awesome in September.

And I feel like it would probably not be too big of a spoiler. Like this, you know, some years it's like kind of a tough call. You know, this year there's a lot of very special players. And there's, you know, Jeremiah Smith is, it really feels like he's sort of like, it's not even like a career retrospective kind of Heisman, but he's built up so much through two years that this feels like a culmination. It feels like he's really on pace to winning the thing.

A lot of hard games to go. There's one at Iowa on Saturday. Let's talk about the last time Iowa State went there. Last time of Iowa State went there, they lost by 29 and missed the playoff because of it. But Jeremiah Smith, yeah, You know, okay, he feels like the single Likeliest candidate to win the big thing in December,

but this is not December, this is September. That is right. Mississippi State's Camario Taylor, to me, feels just like hands down The guy that most epitomizes enjoying this early college football season. Trinidad Champlain was like right there and probably would have been like the choice, if not for, you know, what happened against the North notoriously offensive explosive Florida Gators who erupted for their typical number of points

as dependable and reliable in a big game as ever. None of that is true. But regardless, it wasn't really true in that's fault. He threw a pick, but otherwise, I think, 290-something yards, blah, blah, blah. You know, pretty normal, good game from him. But it is, I say all that to say this. we have a situation right now. The two most exciting players in college football,

and I think we briefly mentioned this on After Dark, are Mississippians who play for arch rivals, arch rivals who are not known for scoring points in traditional ways, who are not, especially when they play each other, are not known for competent football, or not known for orderly organized football. They are known for playing each other. in November and the most memorable moment was a guy pretending to pee,

which a tribute was paid to that just to be by the University of Texas. But even that, even that, that was pretending to be a person peeing. In the egg bowl, they pretend to be a dog peeing, right? So the situation that we have is the race for the December Heisman Trophy could come down to the fucking egg bowl. because to me the September Heism winner exceeding both Jeremiah Smith and Trinidad Chambliss is Camaro Taylor

It would be very weird because if you took Trinidad Chamblis and you just took the wins losses off It's still pretty good man It's incredible what he's done Camario Taylor though Camaro Taylor first of all You want an emergence out of a September Heisman right

And sometimes September Heisman by the way by trademark legally distinct from the Heisman trophy, which I cannot discuss, right? September Heisman, totally distinct from that. I'm good. It's a different award named after a different John Heisman. Yes. Also, parentheses, colon, whatever, satire. This one's named Heisman.

Yeah, yeah, yeah. This is the September Heisman. In the original Croatian. Yes, that's right. The heart of college football, Zagreb. Everyone knows that. the fun the fun thing about Camaro Taylor okay is that he's not a September

Heisman in the sense of somebody we think is going to come to earth Kenny Hill do you remember Kenny the thrill Hill for Texas A&M Kenny Kenny Hill had one of the craziest septemberes you've ever seen just put up massive numbers for Texas A&M and then they did Texas A&M things right they went on an extended slide his numbers fell they started losing games kind of forgot about Kenny Hill but we didn't forget about September Kenny Hill one of the greats that is not what

Camario Taylor is like Camario Taylor like lasered a throw through like two safeties over the top into the end zone that had NFL scouts goggling at what he can do he has been this is a September he's been a war yes but like he's played real teams like he's He's played real teams and he's thrashed them. Missouri's defense is pretty good. Missouri's defense pretty good. South Carolina, actual team. Talented, we can say.

We can call, how's this? We can call them an actual team. We can, they're definitely talented. Yeah, they're talented. Yeah, talent won't. Nobody says talent gets you places. All I said is talented. Yeah, there, we're not.

Somebody's, oh God, you can't believe you can't. You call South Carolina the greatest team ever. We said they're talented. We said, I said they were there. You said they were talented. If anybody needs to hear it, I think they suck shit. Despite their talent. Yeah.

And Minnesota, who I think you've seen, Minnesota, that's a solid team. And you can't be a solid team and have your coach smearing blood on his face, right? They only do that. Mind you, Mississippi State won 3813 at the house of the crazy man. Smoked them. And Minnesota's, decent that win is held up great yeah and they also played uLM who's awesome are they a good football team i returned to my previous they beat alabama that's right they did beat alabama and mississippi state beat them

62 13 so how good are they huh huh yeah um not only that camario taylor's having this nice sort of like people are discovering he's like a real cool dude yeah in his post game in his post he had the coolest post-game interview? Like, you know, obviously, like the stadium's going off. There's lights. Everyone's real happy and cheering. It's got that good post-win vibe happening. And on camera, he was like, okay, stay safe. Stay smooth. Great weekend. It's like, just like super fucking chill country boy. Yeah. Stay smooth. And it was like, you know, kind of a nice like, all right. Like, I love players, however you want to emote, great. You know, as long as like no one's getting hurt or whatever. You know, like,

Like, a dude pretending to piss on the field, love it. Go crazy. A dude being shocked to discover you're not allowed to piss on the field, even better. Better. But like the very emotive, evocative behavior, that can be entertaining. Fernando Mendoza being a huge nerd, that can be entertaining. Camaro Taylor, just being super chill. I love it.

I love it all. I also, like, six foot four, this is not just like, you know, some scamper in Mississippi state athlete. Like this is like, like you said, NFL people are like hang on. No, no, no, like fits the frame. Give me all of that. And this is also, I forget if we've mentioned this or not, but there's just like instantly like, oh, they're going to lose into a bigger school. Okay, Mississippi State is not Duke, right? Duke lost Darien Mintsa at the last minute in the portal. Duke does not spend a lot of money on football. They have a lot of money. They don't spend a lot of money on football. Mississippi State spends a shitload of money on football.

Is it too much as Texas? No, nowhere fucking near. But it, but it's, could. To keep this guy, they're going to take out a fucking loan. They will sell a farm. It doesn't fucking matter. If he wants to stay, they will, I believe they will make it worthwhile for him to stay. I hope there's some Mississippi State alum who's like, hey man, hey man, where are we standing on the money? They're like, I don't know, we're like, we're like three mills short, right? Like Miami's really pressing us for him, you know? And I hope he's like, hey man, listen, I'm going to run so much coke in the next three months. dude you gotta do brother

I'm gonna make it happen they're like you didn't have to say that out loud Randall but we appreciate you but it's honest yeah exactly you just let us know what the yields on your quote fingers soybean farm are

after three months and then we'll get back with you okay because we gotta keep Camarillo and maroon we got to I agree you should do everything to keep him if you can because he's absolutely awesome So like, all right, what's after this? Okay, well, they got Bama coming to town on Saturday.

Sure. That's going to be a fucking rocking stadium, man. They were out here last week. We're going to try to set the Guinness record for most Caldells being clanged, which, how did you not already have that record? I was like, who is your competition for that? Are you going to try to outdo it now this week? But, like, you know, yeah, Bama's a road favorite.

That's fair. But, like, I mean, this is, this is a game where we kind of, you know, not to say that, really, I doubt this player. Everything he's done is replicable and sustainable. Yeah. Even as competition greatly increases. I'm just saying his skills, the throws he's made are not the kinds that just like, oh, the defenders are bigger and therefore the shit doesn't work at all anymore. But Bama LSU, Oklahoma's defense and at Texas, like, that's a hard fucking. stretch, right?

So, like, we'll see how high this dude can fly at this point. And, you know, so far so good. Yeah, but don't talk to me about Arch. Don't talk to me about Arch. Like, start with Camaro Taylor, if you're talking about quarterbacks in the SEC. Start with Trinidad Chambleau. Start with at least three other people who are like, these are interesting guys who have a ceiling.

You know, yeah. As opposed to the confusing guy who somehow can't find Wingo and Coleman. And Keelanlin Russell hasn't had to do much, but it's still doing a lot regardless. Keelan Russell versus Camaro Taylor. Bam, we're looking ahead at the schedule already. That's fine. Like, damn, that's a showdown, man. That is absurd.

If you look, usually, if you look, you know, because before the show, I was looking at guys and going, okay, well, you know, who, because if you're looking at parallel to another reward that I can't discuss, the September Heisman would go to the most outstanding player. in September, correct? Like that's it. Outstanding is the only verbiage you get in telling you how to evaluate what's happening. So naturally, you know,

go to stats, you go to grades, you're going, okay, well, what am I missing, right? It's very funny. If you always,

if you look at the top five quarterbacks or the top 10 quarterbacks by yardage, it's a mess. Because you get teams that can't run the ball or you get guys who are wildly productive

but also deeply error prone for pure yardage. Pure yardage right now. Yeah. You know where I'm going. Let's get inside the mind of a Kevin Jennings. Every play, something's going to happen. Something's happened.

Like, Kevin Jennings is the most extra quarterback on the planet. Kevin Matier is, see, okay, that slip is exactly where I was going. Kevin Jennings is if John Mateer got to throw the ball twice as often. Right. Kevin Jennings and SMU, they just gave him the key. ease the facility and they're like, I walk up when you want to leave. That is not a joke. They named the athlete recovery center on, on in like in the facility after him while he's still there.

Yeah. Like Kevin. First of all, that's awesome. Secondly, like that's how much they trust this guy. Yeah. And you look at him and you go, I have, I question your judgment a little bit, SMU. Because yeah, he's awesome. Like Kevin Jennings is crazy awesome.

They've also decided that they're good with him coughing up the ball via fumble or interception at least one and a half times a game if not two you know sometimes you look at an SMU and like the column will look like this 5,000 yards for SMU 200 yards for opponent final score 2117 SMU and you think well how the fuck did that happen and then you watch the game and go ah Kevin Jennings keeps everyone in the game it's kind of brilliant like that I don't I want anybody to think this is like 100% critical. It just is. It's awesome, but yeah, he's going to do that shit. So you can't exactly look at like all stats as indicator of, you know, absolute value, but they do tell a fascinating

story. Right. Yeah. Yeah. And let's see. Number three on that list is Drew Messermaker, who last year threw for roughly 75 billion yards at North Texas. And this year, despite the inexcusable dud against Tulsa, is like, really, really. building back up the numbers since then. He also has five interceptions just like Kevin Jennings. Creators create next play. Yeah, but yeah if you by the way you should also do this. When you're doing these kind of looks, you need to go, hmm, sort for attempts. That's it. Sort for guys who it's like, brother, it's on you. Let's get you out there. He's 12 or he's 13th in total attempts. They throw the ball. Yeah. So like there those are two stories of how,

raw yardage. Talent don't trust it. It says a lot, but. Not what you think. Right. Never quite what you think. Like, hey, Oregon State's a lot better than they really, anyone thought they would be this year. And Braden Atkinson is an extremely productive quarterback.

It's also pretty judicious with the ball. He's only thrown two picks. But there's another story there because I was looking at other players. So I was like, oh, okay, this guy. We should absolutely mention him when we're talking about, you know, Heisman potential. He's not going to get the September Heisman, okay? But we should think about at least putting him on the honorary list because obviously

Jeremiah Smith, it's kind of crazy how he is good at everything, like total touchdowns. His average, he's averaging 18.7 yards for reception. Just made Bobby Howe wisely retire, right? like he and beelam after the game we're like you're going right i don't want to be out here yeah i don't i do not have the cholesterol to defend jeremiah smith um but jessie legree the freshman wide receiver for oregon state um if you could just take a future on portal earnings that is somebody who i would absolutely put all of my money on and unless they too have their cocaine macnate who can unless somebody at oregon state's

like, hey, I'm going to, I got so much weed I got to sell. I'm just going to push all of this shit through and we're going to keep Jesse. And I'm like, okay, cool. Yeah. It's legal. You can mention that. It's fine. Jesse Legree is second in terms of yardage.

He's got six TDs, Jeremiah Smith, seven. He is averaging a whopping 25 yards and change per catch. Like, absolutely bonkers numbers from Oregon. State. He might be, in terms of spirit, Jesse Legree to me might be the most September Heisman because who has Oregon State played? You know, Houston, Texas Tech, Montana, and U-Tep. They made Texas Tech look like shit. So they got to- They did make Texas Tech look like shit. They had a lot of help from Texas Tech in that. A lot of help because I think Texas Tech is, I don't want to use the F word, but I'm going to

funded yeah they look they look a little fungible as in you could replace them with another team and not really lose anything particularly unique how's that i um spencer as you you have um multiple layers of um judicial abstention here but so i am going to nominate jaden bough for you i have him as a finalist on my list um guy with multiple touchdowns and every the only game in which he didn't get three touchdowns was the one they needed his third touchdown the least that was a against the Campbell Camels. 162 yards at Auburn was just the guy scampering up. The whole backfield was scampering up and down the field against Ole Miss, but he was the most noticeable. Number two in the nation in rushing, I believe. I looked that up earlier today. I could do it again, but I'm just going to sort of rattle off.

But Jadenbaugh, I have him number five on my list after blah, blah, various names I've mentioned. He's also good as everything else you want him to be. Like, I feel like that's probably going to get undersold. like pass pro he's good in the receiving game he's got pretty good hands I'm not going to say

he's like the next couple of Marshall Falk but he's got pretty good hands yeah he's been everything also he says he calls Fred Taylor Uncle Fred which while having nothing to do with how he plays is very endearing to me personally

as a Fred Taylor respecter so wish I could call Fred Uncle Fred um one other guy that I want to mention is he's number three in passer rating and like, okay, sure, that's like any stat pretty dubious. Darian Mintz's, his pasturating is about 75,000.

They've played no one. He's really good. Is he 14 touchdowns, zero interceptions, good? I don't know if anyone is that good. But number three in pass rating is Josh Hoover, the TCU transfer, who threw 33 interceptions, 36 games there. Sunny Dykes was talking about it after he left. Not, you know, really talking shit, just sort of a rambling,

funny Dykes way. Rambling. Mostly factual, yeah. Not really like out to get the kid. Just sort of like, yeah, we turned the ball over a lot with the quarterback who isn't here anymore. And then Kurt Signetti, of course, is Mr. Wrestling Plummer. Anyway, Josh Hoover, 11 touchdowns, no interceptions. No interceptions for Josh Hoover.

So, hey, let's mark that and note it. It's September. Yeah, this again is what happens when Kurt Signetti sleeps outside your window with a gun. And he has a little sign that says, if you throw an interception, I'm going to kill you. and that's what makes his quarterback so efficient. Fear. I would also point out, by the way, that T.C.

You decided to solve that problem of turning the ball over by limiting their possessions in terms of getting fewer first downs, less yardage, and scoring less. Smart. That's just a brilliant way to do business. We're just going to do less football. We can't turn the ball over if we don't have the ball. Huh?

Huh? Yeah. Genius work by Sunny Dikes and TCU so far. We'll figure out what the fuck that is about eventually. I also have a couple of other names here because we try to expand the September Heisman list. It's very hard not to put a couple of defenders on there. Realistically, like if you were looking at, okay, like who is, there are two monsters

that need to be mentioned. And I have a feeling like neither of them is going, neither of them are going away. one of them you saw recently mimicking powerful urination on the field at Neeland that is Colin Simmons who again I don't think he's on the September Heisman list for sheer production I think it's for the series of actions that followed afterwards yeah I mean sheer production alone I think he makes the cut like school record to say not for sheer production school record five and a half sacks and one against Ohio State and then he pretended to whip his sack and everything else

out as well. I have some bonuses. Being a fireman. Yeah, that's right. Oh, I saw somebody posted a clip of in the TCU UCF booth they were play fighting with pretzel swords and I'm like, oh, that's what he's That's what he was doing. That's right. No, that Colin Simmons when he

first of all was stunned, held his hands out like, what? Comedy is illegal now? Yeah, I'm sorry, I came Austin to be a part of a scene. This was the free state of Tennessee. Yeah, come on. But he also, after, this is what he said afterwards, which earns points for me,

I do also do want to say that I apologize for the celebration. I was definitely in that mode feeling myself. Yeah, we saw. Did you see what he said after that? Yeah, yeah. They were like, so, you know, what did your coaches say to you? And he was like, next play, move on. Then someone said, okay, well, what did Sark say to you?

And he's like, next play, move on. As in now it's your next play, you move on. Did you see what he said after that? No. One of the CBS announcers said something fairly mild about this afterwards. Like, you know, and then the, you know, unseemly, which, you know, that it's hard not to argue. unseemly, hilarious, unseemly. And this was after the apologies in his post-game press conference and Collins came back and was like, you watch your mouth. Like he went on, he went on

his verified Instagram account and were like, you need to watch your mouth. Yeah. So I, one way or the other, I think we'll be hearing from him more. Yeah. And then the other part was once Sark got to talk, Sark is a talker. Sark is a talker. Sark just, saying it like Sark will ramble. Sark will start one place and go on a journey and end up and start talking about society, right? Got a little jimbo in him.

Sark was like, yeah, he shouldn't have done that, but he did. And, you know, they're not going to kill him for it. And, uh, anyway. He really almost did the, he did come very close to the, I comedy is illegal in this country now. Yeah, yeah. He started saying like, you know, everybody

wants to get attention. Like you guys, with you, with your Twitter accounts, you want to get attention. as if like your generation has failed this young man by showing him the paths to fame you made him whip his gigantic fake dick out sorry about that coach yeah if you didn't tweet about it he wouldn't whip it out ignore him i don't i don't know if you for the second time this month i'm asking if sark knows this is on television sark you are on apc in the early afternoon

Yeah. The president saw that. Yeah, the president saw that. Maybe. I don't know if he was still awake for that part. The president was there. I saw him doing the LeBron thing, too, about Florida coming up. He's like, tried to tell y'all about Florida.

Nobody listened to me. I was curious, Spencer. Did he, in fact, tried to tell us about Florida last year? No. No, I don't think so. Who tried to tell us about Florida? I mean, I think he was. There's like a, in his press conference this week.

He's like, I tried to tell you all. about Florida, nobody wanted to believe me. When they lost, he probably did. Yeah, I think he's referring to the thing he had to say after losing to Florida last year, which was, that's a pretty good football team over there. I think that's fair. He is going to roll with it.

I think he's trying to do the Nick thing and just doesn't quite have the personality for it. The like, you know, you must respect Tulane and Wofford as you come in here. And he's trying to do that. He's not quite hitting the dismount. I believe he claimed Florida is really good. And like also he's like he'll have long term like memory on stuff and he'll like he'll keep a conversation going. Like he's complained

about having to play Ohio State last year even after beating Ohio State this year. Right. And like, but he was kind of consistent with it. He's like, I hope Ohio State doesn't get punished for coming here, you know? So like the mind of Sark is a busy place, man. Like it and, um, It's not just coach blurting stuff. And I'm not saying I always agree with him. That's certainly not the case. It's just more like there's a lot of thought happening there and a lot of it comes out. Compared to Bill Belichick.

No one knows. Little Apple cars going to and fro. Man, the only time that I have actually wanted to hear from Bill Belichick this season was after Tennessee's drop kick onside. Right? Yeah. That was the only time I wanted to hear from Belichick because I was like, man, four-hour monologue, four-hour monologue. about, which it turns out the SEC had to make a statement that that was incorrectly officiated that Tennessee should have been penalized five yards.

Boom. Because that's what that game needed is one more penalty. That really would have said things. God. I was like, that's the penalty we're talking about from that game. I'm going to do the most confusing celebration now. Colin Simmons has pioneered the urination obvious dick mimicry. I'm going to get a sack.

And then when I come up, I'm going to pee with two dicks and see what you all do. Double barrel. Yeah, that's right. Confuse everyone. Like, that would be the best with the, because I want the referee to go, unsportsman like penalty, number, number, number, number zero. This man was dual wielding. This man was dual wielding.

This man was peeing with two dicks. He was bifurcated, bifurcated in the field of play. Playing Edward 40 dicks. Yes. That's it. Talk about long horns. That's what the trough is for, man. Like, you don't got to aim.

You just drop them. Let them spray like two snakes fighting for... And we really are missing out in the lady's room. The lady trough would be amazing. Pop a squat. Let's squat in the line. Just drop an ass. Just go ahead.

head there you go let them hang i don't i don't envy much of my male colleagues in this sport but i envy that it's pretty good is it i've never tried it i never tried the trough oh the trough's awesome yeah trough's great i know the way people talk about it it really must be a thrill no waiting none whatsoever you know it's i'm willing to wait though aren't you I'm thinking I feel like I mean I

I like having just a little bit of separation that was okay this is my question what's what's the etiquette there do you do you just go haunch to haunch

like in the shoulder shoulder no it's like shoulder on in there yeah there's like a bunch of puppies and a fighting for no

that's kind of what I was thinking Jason there's no one firing from cover right there's nobody going to between you right Right? Okay, that was my next question. Do you stand from further back and just try to, like, get it in between?

I'm negative one to hit back here. I feel like that risks splash. It does. It does. I'll be real honest. That will happen from time to time at the trough. No, I'm not using the fucking trough. People are splashing.

But also, usually when I use the, usually I'm like three or four beers deep when you use the trough so you don't care. You're like, it's all water. It's the cold beer. It's the community nature, you know, overall. I don't want my fellow. man splash. That's like the deraal cigarettes of piss.

Nobody wants to smell that. It's also, it's also like, like if you're a deep cup for cigarette smokers. Only real smokers know that. Yeah. You're just like, listen, man. Some of you fake smokers won't get that one. Once again, big tobacco.

If y'all still exist, we are open to sponsors. Not a pro-smoking podcast, just a pro-death podcast. We won't do gambling ads anymore. Cigarettes, though, come on down. Spencer, what are you trying to say? Well, before we got on to the Coliseum of Penises, that is the... The what? The Coliseum of Penises, right?

I'm not saying a lot of attention today. Oh, God. That was about to be one that listeners would say in an hour. I can't, in, you know, 10 hours, I can't believe they let them say Coxville and didn't react, but Holly caught it just in time. Yeah. I was going to say the other defender that I would put on here. There's actually two, and both of them are on LSU, which should give you.

It should give, no, I wrote them on the list. They're going to come out of my mouth. Prince Will Oman Mielan, he was, if you look at him, he and Colin Simmons, they're 1-2 and 2-1 in terms of tackles for loss and sacks. Oh, we're done talking about Dix. No, we can come back to Dix. Because I was like Prince Albert in my name. Yes, but they are, I'm sorry.

Continue. And also, we never put interior alignment on this because interior alignment just don't get any shine because it's hard to wreck up sacks when you're just in the middle of everything, right? Deuce Gerald's. Duce Gerald's for LSU is unreal. Oh my God. He and Will Eccles from Old Miss. Just like absolute elite hog behavior. First of all, his name is Deuce.

And then he's got two Gerald. multiple Geralds on top of that. Deuce Gerald's. What a fucking name. It wouldn't work if it was Deuce Gerald. It's not the same. He is greater than the sum of his Geralds. That's right.

We got double Gerald's here. That's how much Gerald he is. No, no, no. We're kind of, it's Deuce and it's Gerald. So is this multiplicative? I've seen him. He has more than one Gerald's. This is like an all y'all situation.

Yeah. He is a plural crew unto himself. Right. So like he and Will Eccles from the interior, just just absolute monsters. That's actually, when somebody was like, why do you think Florida might actually be good? Why am I harboring suspicion of hope here? And it's this. Will Eccles is a motherfucker. He blew up LSU in the Ole Miss LSU game.

And Will Eccles against Florida was very, very good. And they still give up 300 rushing yards. You know, that's one more D-LIM. I had Colin Simmons in my in my top five ballot, which, but Xavier Lewis. of UNC. After, he just, like, moved into TCU's backfield in Ireland, just, like, put on a purple helmet and just established residence there. Hey, friends.

But he's kept it up. He's the tackle for us leader in, like, per game. UNC somehow only played three games. But he's still number one. And he's, like, kept doing it. He's gotten, like, he was in Clemson's backfield multiple times. So have that guy up there as well, because if you don't, he'll show up anyway. Yeah, he has off sides turned off.

if you want to know what his secret he'll just already be there yeah hey guys what's going on just me fellow member of your team um I think that's

I think that's a pretty good summary as far as um also I was like can I put an offensive lineman on here and the honest answer is no offensive linemen are very hard to grade and it takes a very long time and they kind of like it that way

like when you praise them they're like nope nope nope I'm just I'm just just a board one among many um fellow large guys all we do is get mad if someone goes near the pretty boy back there. Don't look at me. Don't think about me.

So we will take that request. We will not talk about you. Time out. I need you guys to see Butch Jones's face here. Okay. I know that we're 66 minutes in. It's a... What's happening here?

It looks Martian. Like the planet itself. I'm going to do my best to describe this to the listeners. and see if this makes good audio. He doesn't look like that. No, he does not. He looks like the potato experiment that you do in like second grade science class, you know? After it's like very first started growing stuff a little bit.

Or like when somebody finds the virgin Mary in a piece of toast? Yeah, he does look like he has been dehydrated. Is this Edward James Almost? A little bit. That's Edward James Almost. We all age differently. Butch is waxing craggy is what this is, right? Not that craggy.

Not that craggy, but he's... He looks like John Carter of Mars. I feel like the exposure is really, really doing him no favors here. It feels like it's cranked. It's like on Conan when they would take celebrity faces and mesh them together. And this one is Arnold Schwarzenegger and John Claude Van Dam for some reason. This man looks like a crispy meme. Yeah.

Um, like a like Tommy Lee Jones sort of less successful little brother is what he looks like. Anyway, I found that. This man looks like Ray Leota now. Yeah. Oh. Oh. Oh. I love Rayeota.

Yeah. I do too. I love Ray. RIP, buddy. Um, yeah. This is also, Butch Jones, if you don't know, is very fond. It has been for a while of the t-shirt sport coat. combo, but I think he thinks that if he wears like lighter colors, then that's gay or sort of like not as wrong in some way. So he's wearing a black t-shirt and like very fitted and very, very, very dark. And wearing a gray blazer with sort of a like lighter silver pinstripe through it and a pocket square.

I don't feel like any of that is really a problem. Ryan's prevailing theory here, by the way, Ryan sent this to me, is that he is trying to appear Italian-American so that he can get the wreckers job. That's a thought. Like, that is 100% of thought here. He might, I'm trying to be looking at, I was going to say, he looks like he's, he looks like he's a pit boss at a casino. Does he not? He looks like he should be coming over and offering you free Cirque to Soleil tickets because you lost $500. on Blackjack.

Hope you folks are having a good time. Speaking of Blackjack. Speaking of financial advice. Yeah. Podcast business. What's a business? Podcast business. It's a business.

Podcast business. Butchung works at the Santerosa Mold the Casino that's already been demolished, but that's what I'm thinking of. Speaking of, getting demolished if you come hang out with us late every Saturday night

we get pretty fucking trashed brother on the forecast after dark which you get the advance warning of exactly how to find that if you're in our Patreon so forth Patreon.com slash shutdown forecast additionally the recording goes out

and this past this past Saturday night Sunday morning we managed to start recording after Georgia Tech Stanford kicked off and get it up before that game ended, which means like as we were watching PJ Fleck frolic around with blood on his face, the file had been out for almost an hour at that point. So Patreon.com slash shutdown forecast. You get the a Sunday morning wrap up that is so early Saturday hasn't even finished yet. and the stuff that is left over is you know that's that's bonus material for us to discover together um patreon dot com slash shutdown folk as we do a lot of stuff there as well uh hey uh you know

USC emergency firing episode Lincoln Riley firing episode I don't know if that were to happen we we might try to scramble together on microphones he's got a big fucking buyout but that only makes it even more fun um yeah come to our Patreon there's a lot of stuff there it happens all time. Next, speaking of a lot of stuff, the shutdown forecast is proudly sponsored by Homefield, the industry leader, and top-notch vintage collegiate apparel made by and for true college football fans, Homefield makes

the most premium apparel on Earth. Not Mars, Butch Jones. Say goodbye to low effort design or cheap quality because our friends at Homefield Design and research everything from the fit in fabrics to the vintage logos to make standout gear that defines your game day. And folks, Homefield just launched the Can't Miss Kickoff line this August to style your

game day, but Can't Miss kickoff isn't over yet. The Homefield team is going on tour around the country to college campuses on the K-Miss Kickoff tour presented by Modelo. This week they are headed to Arizona State. Consider that. People don't usually wear clothes there, but here comes clothes anyway.

Finally bringing clothes to Arizona State. See what happens. It's like when you bring a tool or something that a local community has never seen before and just see how they interact with it. Like when they dropped off the obelisk in 2001 and the aves just sort of danced around it. That's how Arizona State students and fans will

react when they see clothes. Look for details on the socials, especially the new events page, Homefield IRL. If you can't stop by, you can shop the very best in game day apparel for your team now with Homefield and let them know the shutdown forecast sent you. Take 20% off your first purchase with code fullcast 20 at checkout at homefield app.com or on the homefield app. Next. Channel dash 6.ghost.io. That is channel dash 6.coast.io. That is the channel 6 newsletter that Holly Anderson and I put out every week.

Two items for the low price of $10 a month. We have completed many items, many more than two items per week through the week of September, because all we do is over deliver. And every week you get the top whatever. That is where we do things like, hey, we rank whatever we want. Iowa was number one this week. Why? because America, that's what you deserve.

Take Iowa at number one. Also, they beat Michigan in Michigan because Iowa football is just a T-bill, man. It's just steady returns on investment. Is it going to go up to 15% a year? Nope, solid returns. Same every single year. Sometimes they beat Michigan.

We do that. We have a pre-game hangout on Saturdays where, among other people, we've had Dominique Foxworth. We have regular games. guest, official regular guest, Brandy Brown, who joins us. That's Houston fan, Brandy Brown, who joins us. Freshly minted.

Freshly minted. Yes. We write additional newsletters throughout the week for you, depending on what's happened. We did the BVP watch list where we have the Bradley Van Pelt Award for the most college college football player. Is that decided? Hell no. If you have an extremely college football player that you note, let me.

me know. You can hit me up on blue sky. I might be nice to you, probably. At any rate, subscribe, thrive, enjoy channel six. Next. You know, I, um, I wrote a book a couple years ago. A few years ago, can you remember at this point? And I've seen it. People have been mentioning it a few times over the past week or two in relation to a, it's a weird thing. Whenever there's anything that's like kind of weird or funny or scandalous involving specific wings of Christianity, somebody will relate it back to what I wrote, partly because, like, you know, for a lot of people, what I wrote was kind of the guidebook to this stuff.

Anyway, Tim Tebow. Tim Tebow is making money off some incredibly shady people who do fucked up money religion stuff. Pablo Tori did a whole thing on it. And some people related my book to that. Additionally, Olivia Rodriguez, this is less about religion, kind of, Olivia Rodriguez has a new Mountain Dubaha

a blast flavor available at Taco Bell. People also related my book to that. So you combine those two things, the sacred Olivia Rodriguez Mountain Dew and the profane, Tim Tebow. You combine those things and you have my novel called Hell is the World Without You. It's available on every platform server. Help Me with the audiobook and he played guitar on it. So yeah, go read or listen to that.

And you also understand so much more about not just America, but about yourself. Next. Funny enough, music on that audiobook, highly inspired by the score to Slingblade and Olivia Rodrigo. There we go. See, I didn't even know that. Like, we talked a lot about the music and about like references and inspirations and stuff.

I hadn't heard that last part, though. Yeah, yeah, yeah. No, I was listening to a lot of Olivia Rodriguez at that time specifically. I love it. I still listen to a lot of Olivia Rodriguez and it informs my work on a day. basis with killer ants with a Z or Zed depending on whether you're in the United States, New Zealand, or whatever. We have a show on October 17th at the Den in Winston-Salem.

And then a Halloween show being the Ramones, which will be fun. Beyond that, listen to Phantom Island. It's a show I help produce. You can check it out. Phantom Island.com. Become a subscriber there if you'd like. Complexco, we did an episode of Numbers and Words with Butch Jones. The man.

The pit boss. Damn, I should have asked him. I should have asked him which free bet, side bet is the most guaranteed winner. You should have, listen, we need to go ahead and also do this. You need to find out how many breath mints, Butch Jones eats on a daily basis, because I have never seen a man more obsessed with minty fresh breath. Oh, shit. Now I really wish he would have been the Tennessee coach at one of the media days that I went to

because we always brought gum and put it on the table. and it was a personal experiment of mind to see how the coach reacted to the gum. Best ever was Ed Orgeron who said, could I have somebody this gum? It just first. And Stephen Hartzell was like, yes. And then Ed was okay. And he got a piece of gum, chewed it two times, and put it back in the rep.

I'll say that for later. And put it in his pocket. Thrifty. Yeah, yeah. Two bites. Interview started. I'm going to save that for later. Good mic etiquette.

Thank you, Ed. Oh, I believe that concludes podcast business. It's time to look at a schedule. Yeah, it is time to look at the schedule. Spencer, you got a short week ahead of you. You're taking your mean green up to Tulsa. That's a good team. You're looking to score the transit of victory over Oregon this week.

Yeah, listen. We're going to go for the transit of victory over. were a lot of people this week. Because remember Tulsa is at the moment the keystone of college football, the thing on which all things pivot. If your quality, you're going to be tied to this game in some way. It'd be nice to get my mean green

in there. But, you know, we'll do what we always do. Line up, show up to the gig, be prepared, and we're going to jam. Hell yeah, brother. Friday night Pitt Virginia Tech, which of these two teams is undefeated? Trick question, they're both undefeated. This is a battle of Titans

in the ACC. There is no one has been able to scathe either of these teams. This will be for a lot of people, this will be the first time they look at James Franklin's Virginia Tech and what an opponent is coming to town. A coach who James Franklin hates is coming to town. Yeah, no, actively despises. This will be great.

Really look forward. I'm excited for the vibes in Mr. and Mrs. ACC's living room for this game. Specifically, as they think about the year. years and years of memories of Pitt and Virginia Tech in the conference. We were right about that, by the way. They are in fact, we were kidding, but we were right. There is, in fact, an extended universe being built around this shit. It's like, is this a household in Fainesville?

No, no, it is. Oh, you were on the episode thing. I had left. Yeah, you had left at this point. I've seen, I feel like I can easily extrapolate what you're talking about. Yes, you can extrapolate it logically, but emotionally can you accept that they're going to build an entire little universe around the ultimate ACC fans? Yeah, they're in Fansville, I think. Yeah, yeah.

Oh, man, what if they are a snow globe in Fansville? Like, this is just one of the, you know. They're the Truman show of Fansville. Or that's what they watch. Yeah, that's what they watch in. Fansville when Maxon and like ACCC Friday night football isn't on. And Stan's in Fansville, they're fans of state, right? Mm-hmm.

Well, I think there are some shape. Like, not tech. So these are NC State fans then. Where are the tech fans from? Is it Techville or something? Well, is this, is this, are fansville, is that more Florida State or or NC State? It feels like NC State to me.

Yeah, because they've never won anything. Yeah, they never go up or down or anything. So that means tech is some sort of North Carolina tech Maybe A&T? I can't wait Who upset Rhode Island last weekend if I'm not mistaken? Yeah Is North Carolina Tech is that Wake Forest?

North Carolina, that is not Wake Forest. Don't give them that much credit on math. Not much engineering. I have to go digging back to the Banner Society Slack and see if we ever came down on this. While you do that, I would go ahead and go ahead and point out Penn State at Northwestern. Watch your ass, Penn State.

At Campbell, you don't want to, don't, don't fuck around with this one. Don't. You say, oh man, they can't lose Northwestern. Ah! Yeah. They lost to Wisconsin. Indiana almost did. And you ain't Indiana.

Mm-hmm. Yeah. And this is also, this is also at Northwestern. This is in the Cats Den. The new one, the newly opened fucking almost billion dollar Cats Den. Like, why does Northwestern need to spend that much money on their stadium, man? They should have kept the dumb little lake. side thing it was awesome.

Yep. Fucking little intermural shed floating on the fucking lake. That was awesome. Then you made your stadium nice. But credit dispenser for a week ago, you said Northwestern was going to give Indiana hell and you were right. I didn't believe it. You were right.

I was 100% correct. And I like to celebrate the three or four times a decade that happens. So very excited about that. Saturday. Saturday at noon. Alabama at Mississippi State. As noted, we're very jacked about this game. Meanwhile, Bill Belichick is a 21 point underdog at home to Notre Dame.

Why are you doing this, sir? Why are you still out? The first ever home, help. Sir, this is your house. Help, please. I would like to go home now. Jordan, please. Help me.

Jordan, just let me go to sleep, please. I don't want to be awakened. Where am I? You're going to be so help. Jordan, I don't like it. Help. I want to go. wherever Steve is.

Yeah, we're Steve. I want to go with my good friend. We're taking very seriously the allegations in the UNC football and we have a plan to knock all that shit off, whatever it might be. There's like a metallic drone through the nose to his voice that I cannot get. Let's see.

Also, let's get a load of these ACCC rivalries. Boston College, SMU, and Stanford Wake Forest. That's happening. This noon slate's pretty impressive. Michigan at Minnesota. Watch your ass, Michigan. Again, I don't see any reason why this is not a game. Like a cap, like this is a competitive game.

Because Michigan, we've seen you, Michigan. It's not good. It's pretty inert. It's pretty inert. I don't see them as being a team that wins games outright very much. It's going to be tight. Fortunately, you'll be coaching against PJ Fleck. He's all pumped up on like blood right now.

He's got a taste for it, so also watch your ass around him. And what are these two teams play for, but a vessel that could contain blood. Will contain blood! A jug that could be filled with Michigan's blood. Navy Air Force. Navy Air Force, all the Academy games, they're all good. They're all the exact same thing. Like, yes.

Rules have changed. That's fine. All these teams do is run the ball. Michigan State, Wisconsin, I don't care. Ohio State, Iowa. Oh, man. Like, looking at this on the schedule ahead of time, it's like, you're looking down on Ohio State schedule, and it's like, da-da-da-da, okay, that might be tough, that might be tough. Gotta go to Iowa.

Okay, there's, you know, that whole meme about what happens to top five teams there. That's not real. Iowa's number 14. Iowa's undefeated. Iowa just beat Michigan in a game that as, I forget if we said this on, no, we wouldn't have said this on here yet. You go back and watch the last drive of how Iowa beat Michigan, and it's like, I misremember something. This doesn't work, right?

It's like there's a point where Brad Nestler's like basically like, oh, time is the enemy here. Like, they are not going to make it, but they did. I say that to say, this is an extremely Iowa team, incredibly Iowa team. And Ohio State, you're flying fancy as always. You're coming in here with your souped up sports car and all that shit. But you got to play Iowa. Let me introduce you to the speed bump.

That's right. The biggest, most dangerous speed bump in the neighborhood. Iowa football. They're going to look like shit, and it's going to be one score game in the fourth quarter. Yeah, you'll be appalled. You'll be amazed. You'll be entertained.

That's actually not true. But it'll be tight in the fourth quarter. I will be entertained. I, yeah. Jason will be entertained. that means you probably won't be, but you should watch this anyway because it's good for your spirit.

At the same time, y'all's teams have to respectively go to Missouri and host Auburn. Yeah, that's, I watched. Yeah, that's, I think this is tough. I think it's tough because, like, coming off of a big, like, last week was a peak, right? I don't know who we have

who's uninjured after that Texas game. That is an under-discussed part and outcome of that Texas game is that Tennessee got banged up. Well, this is two weeks before, too. I don't know what was going on at Tech, at Georgia Tech, but at one point the announcers even commented on it. They were like, every time play stops in this game, it's for an ankle or any, and Tennessee and Georgia Tech players all were just getting, just having their legs snapped up. I really shouldn't say it can't possibly be dumber than this game. Right? Not when Auburn's coming in.

Auburn's coming and it's football. So, yeah, it can get dumber. Yeah. But hopefully will not. But yeah, and I think Mizzou is an obvious trap game. Like, I think that's hard for Florida to, like, be that up, fortunately. Don't pour them out your team against fucking Mizzou. I think there is a case that they, I'm not going to say,

they're custom designed to beat the Gators. What I'm saying is their strengths could hamper. the Gator's biggest strengths. Yeah. I'm being unfair to Spencer and I want to be clear about that. Yeah. Just saying,

tough game. I think it's a tough, I think it's a tough road trip. That doesn't mean you're not poor-mouthing, though. Would you like to hear the most damning thing we could say about Florida State today? I would pay you to tell me.

They are home underdogs to Virginia. Yes, Virginia's decent. Yes, Virginia won this game last year. This is not really an insult against Virginia. This is just saying, imagine telling someone that 30 years ago. you're a home dog to Virginia what hey speaking of home dogs Georgia

finally gets a real opponent yeah Vanderbilt's coming to town baby nice of them to get around to playing football in week five I expect one like the schedule for Georgia is always like this I expect one week to look up and it'd be like big delicious cake versus Georgia yeah but like usually it's like Georgia 19 scum sucking nobody zero And now it's like, Georgia 77.

Yeah, they didn't do that this year. It was weird. They're not even dicking around in the first half in their noon games against Mercer. They've decided points are cool. Another team that scores its ass off is 4 and O UMass, which is favored against Eastern Michigan. Imagine 5 and O UMass. Just visualize it because it's likely. Thank you.

Yeah. This is happening. UMass of the playoff. Marshall James. you. That's a game to note. Do to do scrolling, scrolling. You want a game of a desperation bowl for this week? Arkansas, Texas. just wanted to say it out loud. Look at that. This is the way we talked about Bedlam. Anything can happen. It's always going to be

Oklahoma winning. That's not true anymore. Oklahoma State won the last one. Therefore Oklahoma has never won it at all. This one is that game. A lot of things can happen and they will all be bad for Arkansas. Arkansas could lose by a little, could lose by a lot, could lose in the most cartoonish way you've ever seen. It's going to suck. It's going to be bad. They should reinvent the SEC East and move to it just to get away from A&M. Boy, what an annoying year not to have Bedlam.

Yeah. Fuck. Can you imagine? Yeah. I don't know. They should engineer that into a bowl. I take that back because I do not want to risk what happened in the last one. I just want to ride that forever because it's the single funniest payoff in any series ever.

just like, oh, this isn't actually a thing. You made up a really chaotic name for the least chaotic series ever, and then the team that always lost one, the last one. So, fuck all that. Fuck all that. Script flip, baby. Hong. Miami, hey, we get to watch Miami.

We finally get a look at Miami. They're going to Clemson. They're going to Clemson is a gigantic favorite, but like, that is a credible opponent, a three-and-one opponent. Stop saying stuff like that. That is a former national champion. And also there's not a whole lot else going on at the time, really. Which one has a more recent national title? No.

Watch something else. Anything else. Stay away. Don't not watch this game. You got to get a look at us. I love how everyone is picked up how do not perceive is the way to proceed in college football life. I don't really get it. Like if your team sucks, it hurts. more if people know it.

Yeah. Or, or, or if y'all watch it, that eliminates any of the fucky-up chances that we, like, have, that we could win, you know? Like, I need it, I need it to be unwatchable long enough for, like, you guys are allowed to watch it. Like, the end, when we have a, like, a 10-point lead and everyone's like, can you believe this is happening? And then it's just, will we hold on to it now that everyone's watching?

Chaos. I guess, because I just don't, I just don't want to get my ass kicked in the beginning, because everyone's watching. Like my primary sports fan of is the Atlanta Falcons, and I do not at all feel the do not perceive us stuff. I don't at all feel the

ooh don't look at us stuff. I feel like, ha ha! Now look at what you have to watch. I get in here. You can't be killed by conventional methods, though. Yeah, every Falcons fan is dry bones, right? Like, skeleton, but walking.

I feel the like, oh my God, look at what I get to show you all. We have such sights. And we're in prime time. three weeks in a row after winning the first one. So you're going to get a lot of this shit. I would believe a centivite went to Kennesaw. Hey, listen, criminal justice.

I didn't know what I wanted to do. Don't be mad at me, ACAP forever, you know. But then they got a good museum studies program. Yeah, all centibites are, are bros. Sites to show you. Yeah. I do have the help. I am lost game of the week.

What y'all doing out there, game of the week? Connor, get back here. it kicks oh god i just saw this 11 p.m. Eastern it is a crucial one the fuck the coach who inspired

our fired coaches draft we we forgot to do it until we noticed his team was 3 and 0 after he inspired the fired coaches draft his team became 4 and no and it is now out there Cincinnati

at Arizona at 11 p.m at a 11 p.m. Eastern. This isn't even that early out there. It's normally like you adjust that West Coast time. You're like, oh, that's prime time.

You know, this is pretty late. What are you doing? Get fucking started. Yeah, this is the game that I'm going to be watching late night being like, let's turn up the heat on Scott Satterfield. Scott's saying the same too. He's like, who's too cool. I need to apply a little pressure to my life.

I need to feel it. I need to feel alive. So what will Scott Satterfield smear on his face at 2.30 a.m. Tune in to find out. A delicious salsa verde. Mmm. Mmm. It's good for the pores.