Shutdown Fullcast - Polyamorous Loose Cannons and Super Bowl Film Breakdown

Episode Date: February 14, 2024

A small amount of football talk regarding the Super Bowl, not too much, don’t worry Surber has difficulties Masculinity is back, and this is just what it looks like Chip Kelly does the Reverse Oregon Trail A modest proposal for next year’s Pop-Tarts Bowl Swedish Yule Goat Arson Update This episode theme arranged and performed by James Yerby Visit preownedairboats dot com with all haste Visit SHUT DOWN FULL BOOKS DOT COM  for exclusive literary revelations  Learn more about your ad choices. Visit podcastchoices.com/adchoices

What disasters are you currently coping with? I had someone come by my house at 9 o'clock this morning and knock on my door. And they were with a tree service. And I had some trees here that need to get taken down. And I have a Japanese maple on the front corner of the house, which is a beautiful tree, but it's placed terribly. Like, truly going to grow into the foundation and wreck my shit. So I, he was like, do you think about doing anything with this tree? It's going to ruin your house.

I was like, yeah, actually, I need a cut down. I was like, but out back is the one I really need. I have a big tree that is somewhat dead. It either got hit by lightning and then like ants moved into it. It wasn't solid, but it was like 120 foot tall. So a danger to me and my neighbor. I was like, I need this cut down. And he was like, okay, he was like, well, I will drop it for $500.

For $800, I'll cut everything up for you as well. And I was like, okay, that's a really good deal, actually. That's not a bad deal for that. and I was going to keep it for firewood and share some of it with our good friend Stephen Hartzell when he dropped the tree it sort of shot back a little bit into my name the base of it where it was cut

shot back a little bit into my neighbor's fence and broke just a small part of their fence like like four by four section of their fence got a hole punched in it and it broke the two by four support beam that grows across the bottom and and he was like hey I didn't anticipate that happening I'm sorry we're going to take care of that for you

Don't worry about it. I'm like, okay, this is fine. He came back about 30 minutes ago with the full piece of fence that will go in and replace that messed up part. And he stood it up against the fence and he is no longer here. And so I don't, I don't know if he intended to just, when he said replace the fence, like, I'm going to go get that for you and then not do anything else. I don't know how to put that in.

My neighbor's an unreal man. Like, he's going to raise hell about this. regardless, but like the least amount of hell he raises is if it's back in place and his fence is intact. Did, did you see this individual dropping off this portion of fence? No. It just appeared there? I saw him pull up and he told me, he's like, I'm not going to bother you.

You know, and I was like, okay, I'm going to get that fixed for you. And I was like, okay, I saw him pull up and I was like, okay, you must be coming back for the fence. And then I saw him leave. And when I went out back, I saw, that's where I saw the fence was just laying there. Yeah. But I've been in and out because, and I forgot to tell you this part too, Jason, I have a building out back. There's more? Yeah, I have a building out back that the, um, the gutter kind of fell off

part of it. And so I just, I'm like, fuck, I got to take, and it's bent really bad. So I got to take this whole gutter down. And so I, I was out there taking down the gutter and I'm doing a load of laundry inside. And I hear like gurgling from coming from my house, which is close by. Can I just, can I just say when you're in your home and you hear gurgling? Gurgling is never a good noise. There's not a scenario where you go, hmm. No, that's gurgling. That's right. This is fine.

That's the way it's supposed to be. Unless you're in No Limit Records intro. Yeah. I walk into my laundry room where I'm doing a load of laundry and it is draining all into the floor because there's some sort of backup in my sources. None of the other stuff is backing up. So I don't think it's my septic tank or anything like that. But I can't, I can't figure out what this clog is and it's like a funky shape.

I can't get something down in there to try and root it out. um so i called a plumber and he's like well i can be there tomorrow uh but i need laundry soon we're we have a live show i don't know if listeners know we have a live show in Atlanta on Friday um i was hoping to show up clean to that event yeah maybe maybe we'll just relocate it to your house and then while we're here someone someone will know how to fix a fence in a way the community will provide so yeah full cast house this person who believes fences are drag and drop we will we will uh we'll correct that yeah so it's just been a it's been a disaster of a day. Yeah. It's just really been a shitty, shitty. And I'm sick.

And you're sick. I'm like at the end of being sick. I don't have a fever anymore. I broke my fever. And it's not COVID. I can breathe. And it's not COVID. I've tested negative for COVID multiple times, which is great. I had that a couple months ago. I thought I was going to be one of the weird people that got it twice within like a short period of time. Um, but it's just been awful. It's been terrible. How are you all? Better than that. But yeah, awesome. Rub it in. Come on relatively great dude i'm great haven't heard a gurgle my it's been a gurgle free house sir but does your uh ordinary neighbor have um like a dog or like a reason for a pet to be an emergency situation or he has a little dog um a small an older small dog one who isn't going to get up

and out no like it could get through this hole in the fence right now but um i don't think it will want to yeah can i be honest um is this old man spry enough to be a problem for you yeah no he he he's when i say old man he's like early 60s old man he's not old old oh so spencer old yeah he's still he's still working pretty much the exact same age as spencer hall okay does he have a podcast too yeah do you think he could take him like that's the thing first of all if he was no okay so he's that kind of old man this guy builds cabinets like he just seems and he's got he's got that teal um uh silverado from like the early 90s he's overall just kind of really cool

I'm intimidated by him a great deal and his yard is perfect I think you're going to bond over this yeah yeah yeah I think this is the breakthrough literally that your relationship needed perhaps yeah like like this is the guy who I think like if you

with the old man you want okay next door is the one who only has the energy to really poke up his head through the fence like a Muppet be like hey Bufit like that's yeah that's what you want you want the guy who's like I ain't everything and I do nothing about it. The teal truck.

I don't know. He seems pretty capable. This could be an issue. But yeah, you could bond over this. I think you should make an opponent. You should make a common enemy of the man who deserted you. Oh,

if he doesn't come back and put that fucking fence in, I am. I'm going to call him and make an enemy out of him as soon as we're done with the show. Hit them against each other and you take sides with your neighbor. There you go. Yeah, you need to look at your neighbor and be like, when he comes over, before he could get word one out of his mouth.

What you need to do is you need to go, I need your help and beating someone's ass. Where are we going? You hit him high and I'll do the thing where I crawl behind and slouch behind his knees so he stumbles over me. It's my ideal role in a fight. I possess the skills to trip a man. The lump.

Yeah. I'm actually peeking outside just to make sure he hasn't returned and he has not. It's still just a piece of fence sitting up against the fence. You're going to look out and it's going to be like upside down now. He came back, moved it, left again. Yeah. You know what? That's a powerful move, though.

It's when you go, I'm going to fix this problem. What are you going to do? I'm disappearing. I've gestured at it. Yeah, I'm gone. I'm out. See you all later. It is really cool that his inventory had the exact mention fence part that you needed,

but simply no application. I mean, it's a pretty standard fence that they have in the backyard here. It's the wood fence with the, like, they all look the same, right? There's no sort of ornate car. Garv done in the tops of it or anything like that. He literally found like a piece of the same fence. He might stole it now that I'm thinking about. From the other side of the yard, yeah.

Yeah, they might be missing another piece of fence somewhere. You go get another neighbor coming over and being like, hey, someone cut an exact hole out of my fence, the shape of the hole that was placed in your fence. The entire neighborhood, each one moving one slat of fence until someone at the very end is the one screwed. Yeah, baby, this sounds like an engineering solution. I'm sorry. This is just good thinking.

Not my problem anymore. I'm going to have to learn. I think that's the big thing here is I'm going to have to replace this piece of fence myself and I'm going to just have to learn how to do that. This sounds like a great hander in the dirt episode. Like we've just, this is a hand of dirt editorial meeting right now. Welcome to the shutdowns, you are looking to the shutdown fullcast. You are listening to the Internet's only. college football podcast my name is spencer hall today i am joined by um we're going to call it slam crew uh that's because it's three of us got jason kirk and michael server over here

on the ones and twos uh he of the many problems the house of many problems today what a what a what a name that is like uh you know there's lots lots of lots of uh ancient civilizations where people are just named after a trade about themselves and yes that That would be my tribal name. Who is he? That is House of Many Problems. Yeah. Is he cool?

No, he's very stressed out. Well, server's cool. Oh, well, server's cool. Yeah. I think I'm cool under these circumstances. Yeah. Compared to like what Felder would be like, no offense to Felder. But I'm trying to imagine how would Felder be handling this situation right now?

And I don't think it would be the same as me. He'd also probably be getting that fence put in. More cussing, which probably gets the fence put in. Yeah. Exactly. Also, you'd have some elaborate recipe. this was postponing, right? It could be like, oh, well, I was just going to make, I was just going to make my own

empanadas, and then I have to do the sauce and everything, and, you know, they got to fix that. Yeah. Now my kid's got to eat, uh, fuck it. Now my kid has to eat a sandwich made from homemade bread and corn beef that I cooked myself now. And the cheese that I created on my. Now they, now the child has to eat this. Now I have to go to, now I have to, uh, get takeout. You would never do that.

That's not even an option, right? Like, that's not it like, no, no, no. I'm going to make it myself. That's like mid-apocalypse level of. Yeah. I wanted to ask the most important question of all for a college football podcast to both of you, which is this. Has anyone attempted to big brain you and explain the decision to take the ball first in OT in Super Bowl? because I would like to start the discourse by saying this.

I want Malcolm Gladwell jailed. I want everybody involved with the entire Freakonomics community put in prison. I want them to answer for the crimes that they have committed against American sports discourse because I have gone from an ironic appreciator to football is like the wind. Listen to it in your soul to being the person who's like, yeah, football is the wind. You should do this. I'm not anti-analytics, I'm anti-dumasses who now think that this is a game they can play. Like on the midwit meme, it's like, having the ball is good.

Actually, giving away the ball is statistically like, having the ball is good. Do you want to score here? My favorite question. Scored too soon. No, no, no, no. Scored. Scored. Do you know how hard that thing is?

Points are good. Points are good, right? yeah no no you want the ball first because then you want the ball third third you want the odd numbers of the ball that's what you want which is the thing that i thought was a joke until i looked up and saw that that's what kyle shanahan actually said in defending it today yeah it's it's such a difficult thing because like i get it statistically it it makes sense Like the likeliest score that you could, the single likeliest score you could have after two possessions would be zero zero.

Like the second likeliest is probably seven seven, right? Having settled that, it's difficult to argue that to a human brain. Like, um, like I read Bill Barnwell saying, yeah, the choice is fine. It's defensible. There are pros and cons. And I'm like, well, Bill Barnwell is a superhuman brain. I'm sure it makes sense to him. It doesn't make sense to my human brain.

no and and here's the thing is if if he had been right we would all be having this discussion about what a big brain decision he'd made right like if they had if they had won on the third possession then we would say wow he's done it he's unlocked football he is his master master form is upon us that's what the big that's what the big that's what the flat bill hat is so brims full of brain is what it is so the brain can receive the appropriate aerodynamic support when traveling through open space yeah yeah but that that didn't that's not what happened um in fact what happened was uh the the the the chiefs used their their subsequent possession uh they took advantage of having the information of exactly how many points they needed so they knew that they should uh attempt to convert a fourth down they did and they won and if if those if those drives had been reversed the niners would have had the exact same uh opportunity so it didn't turn out well for kyle shan but i mean what was he going to do win What was he going to do not blow a double-digit lead in a Super Bowl? Why would that happen?

Why would he not do that? He loves doing that. Kyle Shanahan's love to blow double-digit leads in Super Bowls. That's three of them. That's incredible. It's his kink, and I need you to not shame it. It's so good. Like, the second they got up, 10 to nothing, I posted like, hey, look what the score is,

and everyone is sharing it. Like, oh, my God, this is awesome. I can't wait. And, like, Niners fans are like, shut. Shut the fuck up. Shut the fuck up. Hater. No, no, no, not even like that.

Just like, don't look at us. We know, we know it's going to be bad. Everyone knew they were going to lose. It's a lot like, I'm currently writing an article about whether you could land a plane. Spoiler, you couldn't. And it's a lot like, I think if you were doing fine and you were heading to the airport, you're like, okay, we're good. And all of a sudden, like, you get on the line and it's like, hey, it's the president.

You're like, no, no, don't look. I don't need to know. Don't need that. Got a job for you. Yeah, I've got a job for you. No, no. You know, the eyes of the world are upon you. And I'm like, ah, that's what I'm going to screw up.

Literally, literally the most viewed telecast in history is upon you. Yeah. People who do not care about football. People who never cared about football until call it three months ago are watching you. Yeah, yeah. People who, by the way, now know exactly how. hairbrained your decision was. Yeah, people who have spent the past three months learning things and who have

determined that it's probably best to just do the obvious thing. Yeah, that's it. This is, this is a great college football versus pro football argument because Kyle Shanahan did the thing I think you would do if you were a pro football coach and confident in the skills and abilities and intellect of your players and your staffers. You would say, going to take the ball first. We're going to score.

That's what we're going to do because we're competent. Man, college, there's an entire cottage industry of coaches who have survived multiple athletic director changes, presidential changes, decades, gone through multiple presidential administrations, weathered the storm of many a six and six season, strictly on the assumption that no one could do anything right. Like, this is, like, this is the Farrant School of Coaching. This is the old school, you know, SEC gym coach, like the glorification. certified SEC gym coach right are we going to play ball the must champ coach um this is their way of

doing things they would go no we're going to take the ball second why because you can't do anything right that's it that's that's and the thing is big brain Kyle put his foot right in that bear trap he did that because sometimes football is a game played by really intelligent people doing really smart things and sometimes it turns into random stupidity and violence And that's what this game turned into for most of it, to be honest. Most of this game was random ball, bounce, random way, everyone frown and be confused. This game was, uh, in its own way, awesome. Like, I love that this was for, I mean, just statistically speaking, for a lot of people,

this was their first taste of, uh, championship football. And this is what we served up. This, this? Like, where the highlight for about three quarters was the punt coverage, to which to be clear is no shade to punt coverage. I watch Big Ten football, which was, which was, which was, was sick. It's fucking awesome. Some of the, Chris Conley. Oh.

Give that man some sort of a, I don't know, punt coverage guy of the year award for that. I'm sorry, we're not going to ignore the University of Florida Zone Tommy Townsend. Oh, my God. Yeah, it was. Yeah. What a special team spectacle it was. God. Well, yes.

So many ways, because none of us are having this conversation if San Francisco doesn't hit a fucking extra point. Just one? That was a great special teams. play by the Chiefs. So it was just nonstop excellent special teams play. What was the difference of the thing that turned the tide and allowed us all to

sit here and goggle it how good Patrick Mahomes is at his job? Oh, that's right. A big fat man sticking his hand up. That's it. Big Paul. That's right. Whack. Big Paul wins again. That's my favorite kind of football

game where Kyle Big Brain Shanahan is put into like he's put into the crippler by gravity and the laws of stupid that's it where all all of your little exes and o's and plans go completely sideways thanks to nope fat bonk it's so good it's everything i want out of the sport a plus no notes none yeah yeah this it's weird i feel like I didn't even see any of the like, there's no scoring complaints, which might be because, like,

Mahomes is here. We know business will pick up eventually. But I don't know. It felt like there was sufficient drama for everyone, even with the low scoring. Which I, it feels to me like I'm sort of like asking people how their meal is

if it's a dish I don't eat, you know? Because, like, I don't care about scoring, but I know most of y'all do. It's like me with macaroni and cheese. You're like, I think that's good. You seem to like it. You seem fine with it. Everything else here is great.

But you seem to be. like the thing you like. Yeah, because I know, like, I was very happy just watching Chris Jones and Legerius Sneed and pretty much anyone else on the Chiefs at Trent McDuffie. If you have it watch it, if you want to go, if you want to go, hey, what does a corner do? What is a corner supposed to do? Go watch Trent McDuffie. You can watch the Super Bowl.

It's actually only like 15 minutes of TV. Ha ha! It's got you again, America. Got you to spend a billion dollars for. for 22 minutes of action, but you did. Go watch the whole thing. Go watch Trent McDuffie.

Trent McDuffie, the corner for the Kansas City Chiefs, turn Debo Samuel into an afterthought. That's not possible. And he did it. If not for, obviously my home's numbers were,

you know, they were great against a good defense, a game winning drive, blah, blah, all that. But like, if not for that, someone in that Niners front winning the MVP,

would have felt really good. good. I mean, you know, Carl Aftus had three QB hits, you know, just on and on. Purdue's own, George Carl Loftus. They were just all over Purdy like the entire time. And there are some

quarterbacks who thrive. And if Josh Allen, if guys are all over him, it doesn't matter. What are they going to do? Sack him? But like, Brock Petty's not a guy who can just bounce off of people. He has to make decisions and they forced him into quite a few. I mean,

he thinks he's a guy who could bounce off people. Let's get it clear. I'm not going to tell Brock Pretty what he's capable of or not, which by the way, thought Brock was fine. Sure. Against, which still feels weird to say, a really great Chief's defense, even after a whole year of this,

I'm still, like, part of my brain is still like, how is NFL Texas Tech doing this? But they completely rebranded. They pulled the opposite of like Nick Saban. Like they've gone from all offense to all defense. And now the problem for everyone else is, they might be able to, you know, try a little bit of both.

Like, maybe draft a couple receivers. I like that they did that. I like that they managed to rebrand, keep the quarterback, but also rebrand as, you know what? I'm already handsome. I think I'm going to start lifting some weights. That's what I'm going to do.

That's like, um, handsome because of like one trait that won't go away. So we're going to work. We're just going to let that be load bearing for the entire handsome. factor, and then we're going to allocate all resources to everything else. It's like we have these two guys. They're great. That's our offense. And otherwise, we have a bunch of little guys who sort of orbit them. And then otherwise, every investment goes in defense. And it, it worked.

You know what? I'm pretty. These eyes? So I'm just going to get eyes that make my eyes look bigger. That's what I'm going to get bigger eyes. More eyes. More eyes. Big Disney eyes. Cover me in eyeballs. I think we just described the chiefs as an anime kitten that decided to go on a cycle or two and lift. Yeah. Yeah. Like a goose. I'm good with that.

Captain Marvel Goose. That's what they did. Yeah. Also, let's shout out to Andy Reid because again, the winning motion in this game was called corn dock. That's right. Yeah. Corn dog. Shuffle, Mekyll Hardman.

That's the University of Georgia's own, Mekyll Hardman. again, not trying to be an SEC partisan. I'd just like to cite me, Cole Hardman, because that's another offensive player thriving in the NFL after being underutilized at Georgia. Remember, don't go there, kids. Don't. Yeah, don't.

That's what happens. You'll end up catching the Super Bowl game winner. I'm not, this argument's falling apart, Spencer. That's it. Look at the horrible fate will befall you. Scary stories. You'll be the first one hugging the Super Bowl MVP. Won't that suck?

that sucks so bad don't do that i did really like the um immediately after the game well not not immediately but a bit after the game it was like wow none of the niners knew about the overtime rule which you know was uh it wasn't kept a secret it was publicized a couple years ago uh you know and ideally it would have kicked in you know before the falcons suffered the exact uh fate that the rule was meant to prevent but that's neither here nor there um but like the niners not knowing it and the chiefs practicing it as far back as training camp it's like okay on the one hand, like, this is a demonstration of how things end up the way they end up. But like at the same time, Nicole Hardman, who caught the winning touchdown was, Patrick

Mahomes was like, this dude didn't even know he just won the Super Bowl. I had to tell him. Yeah. That's so good. Football is really complicated. Like, no one could keep up with all this shit, especially when those change. There's just way too many pieces moving. Somebody I saw, it was like, hey, man, what would have, what would have happened if they had done

none of like, be sick if they'd done college over time? And I'm like, no, it would have been garbage. But absolute trash, because you know what would have happened? It would have been Pat Mahomes finding increasingly embarrassing ways to torture defense and make you look stupid, right? It would have been Andy Reid. Like, you're asking Andy Reid, ooh, what if you only get to use the box of weapons you got from the skunk works? What if you only use the crazy shit, right? Ooh, the men and black guns.

Let's see what those do. Like, that's what you would be asking Andy Reid to do. I mean, oh, Andy, surely you don't have an insane play to pull out here. Oh, oh, I've been. looking forward to hold on a second like yeah yeah 11th overtime against Andy Reid like he's already dropped that let little Mary go around play on you whereas you're down to like I don't know a handoff you know you're you're completely out of ideas I mean you already San Francisco used their trick play they used the wide receiver yeah that's it that's it that's it they're done

Kyle's got 428 different variations on 10 plays. Andy Reid has some shit. He cribbed from the University of Minnesota's 1932 Red Zone package. Andy Reid's like, oh, I've been looking forward to doing this one, but they told me it was too sexy for TV, but now's the time. They can't stop me now. He's got something called the Gimpy Drifter, and he's going to call it. And you won't even recognize it as a play from scrimmage. Tony Romo is saying things that have to be bleep.

leaped as soon as the play begins. That's when you know, you were in 12th overtime against Andy Reid. Wow. That's what you get. Holy fuck, Jim. I don't fucking know about that, Jim. Oh, Jesus fucking Christ, Jim. That's it.

When even Nance starts cussing, you know you're in a good one. Man, do you know, like, the actual amount of money I would pay to hear Jim Nance Cuss on air? it's not it might be five digits i might write a five digit check i think we could we could pool our resources and see if it's happened can we kickstart this jim nance dropping up on air jim jim nance started cameo and one cuss word per ten thousand dollars he would clean up for charity yeah come on yeah you also get by the way i did not know that um because i know romo it took some flack for being lackluster. Yeah.

Underplayed. I don't know exactly what the word. I don't know what people's problem is. I don't necessarily know what they expect of your average announcer. But it evidently was what Tony Romo delivered. I did hear Chris Fowler's call of the winning TD. Yeah. Yeah.

And Kevin Harlins, like, I didn't really know what people were saying about Roma until I heard Kevin Harlan's. And I was like, oh, right, that, that's what you want. Man, that's, that's hard, though, because do you really want, do you really want the, do you really want to compare yourself to Kevin Harlan? That's the thing. Well, that's the thing. Kevin Harlan should just have the job. I do love that we get to be like super critical of Tony Romo when Tony Romo can still do

the thing where he predicts exactly what should happen on a play. Like, I don't think he'll get enough credit for, on the final drive. which overtime contained what two drives yes two to epic voyages to full 15 minute quarter yeah two drives that took the entirety of the quarter it was um i thought about you jason because i was like i bet jason loves this this was great got all that clock being burned look at the seconds dying also i love thought about because we were on the same couch at the time But I appreciate. Yeah, no, I thought about you.

I was doing something else, but I was thinking about you. Thank you. But during that, there was a play where San Francisco blitzed and Casey called Mesh. And when it happened, they started to rush. And right before that, Romo goes, I'd expect them to fall back in coverage here, especially given what they're seeing. And they blitzed. And you heard Tony Romo go, oh, they shouldn't have done that.

Yeah. Yeah. I mean, yeah, yeah, he's good. But, like, the only discoursey thing I heard was his call on the last play. And whatever, whatever. I mean, Kevin Harlan's better, but there's no real shame. There's no, Kevin Harlan called two games at once, man. Yeah.

I feel like I need to issue a public apology. Hmm. Because I said last week or week before, I was like, Tony Romo's getting better. And then what? I said it aloud on this show. Yeah, you did. Yeah. So we'll just put that to that.

Yeah. that's all right you let him get lazy is what it is yeah I will quote Tony Romo and say shouldn't have done that yes okay hey

sorry yes we've discussed a little bit of Michael server's domestic nightmare at the moment currently currently his manner is under assault from the forces of chaos your wife leave you no I've not managed to fuck that up

I do have an update though I talk to my neighbor the wife portion of my neighbor. That's a normal way to say that. Yeah. She was like, it's fine. All right. Yeah.

Didn't get much of a reaction from her. She's kind of, she was like, well, it's fine. All right. Take it to the bank. Yeah. I'm like, okay. Well, I'm not going to worry about this anymore. Yeah.

Your husband might be a, might be a fence guy, but. She did tell me that the, the, the, the, the fella told her that he was going to send somebody over to do it. So maybe that's why he just dropped it. Maybe he's got someone who's an expert in the fence building. It's such a drama. That really fucking is. Man.

That's cleat. That's cleat. He's going to send over cleat the fence man. Fence cleat. It'll be by. Fence cleat. We are also talking, Holly, we're also talking various Super Bowl related things. Hey, I have a horrifying inspector.

Hmm. Um, have y'all heard of the, uh, the, the, the, the Kelsey brothers? Um, the athletes? Yes. Whatever happened to those guys? Well, funny story. They're, they're football players. Mm-hmm. Yes.

Um, was a basketball player, I thought. Oh, do you guys happen to remember where the Kelsey brothers, uh, matriculated? I believe that be the University of Cincinnati That's correct Do you happen to remember what year Travis in particular graduated I think his last game was against Florida In the Sugar Bowl

Do you know what season that was 2009? Yeah No, no not at all They're about no Okay 2010-ish 2010

do you all know who the coach of Cincinnati was at that time must have been someone really good because that was a big game yeah that's an awesome of all the hours and days we have lost forever to our life of this Travis and Taylor discourse I have yet to hear anybody raise the notion that we might be confronted with butch Jones at Taylor Swift's wedding

yeah let that you know what i just just let that in let let that into your heart let that in and let it run around for a while so butch jones will be there probably as as travis's uh second best man um oh they're close that's the other thing yeah yeah yeah this isn't a joke this isn't a joke i'm not doing we've never told jokes you're tight some of you weren't covering Cincinnati in the early 2010s i was so oh butch Jones will be there He'll just be there.

Yeah. Also, we know. Like, this is not far-fetched. One of Taylor Swift's, like, lifelong best buddies from Tennessee is Haley Williams, who wrote a song entitled, Brick by Boring Brick. Oh. Come on now. Yeah.

It was obvious all along. This was unavoidable. It's all been there. It's all happening. Hey, what now, Swifties? You think you're good at math? Look what I just did. Let me into your inner circle.

See how good I am at this. I was telling somebody earlier today that this is a really this is a really interesting NFL time for me because this is the point at which the guys who I covered when I was first starting out you know as like fresh recruits

you know the guys who were who were hot shot high school players who were you know blossoming promising freshman at their college programs are now like at the pinnacle of their NFL careers and I'm like Man, you're that kid who ate seven bags of sour gummy worms and puked his guts up.

That's not a derogatory comment. That's the mark of a great athlete. That's the mark of a great athlete. But never has this been, never has this created a stronger earworm than it did the moment I remembered who Travis's college coach was for the, for his last couple seasons there. the other thing about his sorry were you going to say who his first coach was at Cincinnati no oh okay do that one first well

butch had a thing for a minute where he served as kind of a paddle duck to a guy who turns even weirder colors and that'd be one Brian Kelly yep I can't imagine I do not if Brian Kelly and the Kelsey's are close I am not aware of it

I assume they're not because I feel like BK would have tried to capitalize it on this point. Like, look, somebody out there likes me. Unlike you people. What do you mean? What do I mean, you people? Abominable dance memes he'd be posting. Anyway, carry on. The other thing about the Kelsey brothers, I know, some people are sick of them.

Whatever. One of them wears pro wrestling masks. I'm sick of the most normal. I really like the idea that one of you floated earlier today, or Floyd floated earlier today. That we created six Kelsey's in a lab to help, to help push vaccines through. And that Jason is the one who came out offcut, but we kept him anyway. There was a story by Justin Williams a few weeks ago about their college days, which includes just the wildest shit. Like, when Travis was suspended for weed, and big brother Jason is like, listen, I'm going to keep an eye on him.

It's going to be good. I got him. right Jason leaves the house comes back Travis is smoking weed um Jason chases Travis

who runs and locks himself in a bathroom Jason is determined to deliver the message that Travis you fucked up so what does he do he punches his way in not through the door

no but through the dry wall cusses Travis out and then goes and sits down and eats I believe it's sight of Es Chipotle and that was it from that moment on Travis was like team leader

team leader all you needed was your brother punching through like a horror movie villain punching through the wall I think this is maybe why I have such a high tolerance for them they could have been neighbors with my brother the year here and his buddies stole a Coke machine off of campus and put it on their porch

and filled it with beer cans and charged a dollar a can at parties and made an absolute killing only then they got robbed because everybody knew they had a shit ton of quarters in their house and they could not call the cops because stolen Coke machine. Yeah.

But they learned a lot of lessons. They gained a lot of XP. Not at Tennessee. They weren't there long enough. But if you're going to be a criminal. Gubler Raiders. They found the Omar of Knoxville who's like, yeah, I robbed the criminals. The criminal who robs a criminal.

I'm in this for a shitload of quarters. That's amazing. Entrepreneurs. entrepreneur I think that's what gives me my high Kelsey tolerance I love this shit yeah yeah yeah like it's sort of thing where I'm aware

people become tired of them that hasn't afflicted me but also it's never been easier to avoid you know people as much as we love to discuss you know pop culture saturation it is truly never been easier to avoid the things in pop culture that annoy you you know what you can do

turn on Hulu there it's the entire history of television go go on yeah yeah if you listen if you want to go to an entirely different culture altogether go to tubi just go watch the news on there's some shit in there another planet entirely listeners you can't see at home but my eyes just lit up with the the just the fire of all seven kings of hell because i'm not sure that any of you know at home that roku has the original seasons of great british bakeoff that they did not put on Netflix that you used to have to find on Vimeo, all of them for free. Are these the ones before Paul Hollywood pretencey actually matters?

Yeah, yeah, it's quite charming. Yeah, that's good. But yeah, you can avoid people. I, like, there's no, I guess I don't really understand I'm tired of fatigue. You do, you do. People just want to be mad. I mean, yeah, I guess. Well, why are you going to be mad at,

How's this? If you're going to be mad at Travis, how can you be mad at Jason Kelsey? That I don't understand. I mean, they're just two different kinds of galute. How could you be tired of a galute? I think for a while we had like a national, nationally recognized galute shortage, and they've really filled that. Yeah. You know, we were a little. Trinity is back and this is what it looks like.

Unfortunately, it has a famous girlfriend. We skewed a little too much little man. We went a little to Bruno Mars, Timothy Shalomey, and now we're just... Oh, my God. And Wonka didn't win a single Oscar. Yeah. America is healing. You know why?

They weren't big enough. There wasn't a Kelsey. Yeah, there wasn't a Kelsey brother in it. They had to get their weight up a little bit. Lumpas. Wanka starring. Normous. Yeah, you need a little more oomper

I'm actually really excited for Travis to take the LeBron turn Not the sports part, the Hollywood part Please put him in space jam I need I need Travis Kelsey playing somebody Who's just doing one last job Is he planning it? Oh my God

This is you know the show that we've talked about making for fully 10 years, which is the buddy cop where they're both loose cannons. This is what they were made for. Like, you turn in your badge and good. You turn in your badge and guns. Yeah, I went Travis Kelsey in The Nice Guys Part 2. Yeah. It's a Christmas movie. Everybody will love it.

Just to see where both of them are throwing guns and badges at each other in the office, right? Just a whole bag of them. And then they leave, of course, without pants to go solve. One splits the other one's lip when he hits him in the face with a pistol. Oh! my wife left me your wife left me our wives left us no one's been left more wifeless than these two guys the polyamorous loose cannons who've been left by their wife

so's itself oh man that's the next that's the next great cbs frontier because we've run out of law enforcement iterations we're just going to make polly versions of all the law enforcement shows we already have poly hand order Chicago fuck family fire Tuesdays

The polymentalist Spencer He could finally do your bad doctor's show He's bad because he has too many lives He's drowning in paperwork At home Yeah Whose night is it? I don't know

The patient died on the table So incompetent house? I didn't watch a lot of big love but Polly marriage sounds like a scheduling nightmare. I was reading an article, apparently it's all based on like Google calendars. Like it's a whole thing where you've got to be good at spreadsheets. Which color am I? I guess you gotta have one person who's good at spreadsheets.

Yeah, as long as there's one who's passionate about scheduling, maybe the whole thing works out. Yeah, that's, I want, I want dumb house. Yes, like that is my dream show. Where it's always lupus. Yeah, it's, but he never guesses that. Yeah, but he never guesses Lupus. He's probably like, I don't know, some shit's fucked up.

It turned out to be Lupus at the end of every episode. He's like, ah, I knew it. Is it a lot of, like, attempting to discover diseases to get named after himself, but that never works. Traffbox. I'm sorry, I can see this so clearly. Yeah, there's a lot of that. He has like, he has like six people living in his house who are all in committed sexual. relationships but he doesn't really understand what any of them are like who am i who am i having sex with

tonight rolls in dumb house dumb house only on fox call it dumb house that's what fox fox knows fox knows you just call it what people are going to call it and at credit words do nine one one move to a bc the dumb is spreading that's i hope that they i hope that show just serves as kind of like termites. I hope it lasts longer than Seinfeld. It just impregnates other networks with 911 shows, right? Like 911, 9-1-1-Kansas City. I mean, look what happened.

The results speak for themselves. They got 911 Lone Star off the ground and went directly to motherfucking volcano in the middle of Texas. It was like the second episode. They went volcano. What's not plausible about that? I didn't say anything was implausible. Lots of volcanoes have happened in the history of the world.

When you think about it. Yeah, I can, I can think of, I can think of at least four major cities that definitely need their own 9-1-1 series. I'd say that need to be decimated by volcanoes. Sorry, I thought you're going to. Time for Spencer's shit list. Here they are. Number one. The prophet Spencer is about to the issue.

So he's coming for Boise. Spencer's condemnation has arrived. those crooks in Washington, D.C. He's got the hair. Well, I mean, yeah, that's the easy choice. You're going for cheap. You're going for cheap pop with that one. I'm going to play the classics here.

Because they work. Because they work. Yeah, yeah. God loves it. Fuck down. Booh. Text me again, Chuck Schumer. Volcano.

I've greatly enjoyed the current WWE run because now people are chanting 25 to 30 year old critiques of the rock that's the best oh yeah bringing it back I love history yeah we we've completely we've completely brought back the rocky sucks thing black Adam broke that man I it did something bad it did something real bad it's insane he he he's playing literally a comic book villain didn't want to be a villain comes back to w.E and realizes like oh being a villain is awesome so whatever reason this is this is where he's comfortable playing an actual character. Like, he, he is literally a better actor as a wrestler than as a movie star.

I respect. Yeah. But, but that and, uh, that end, that and I've, I've also greatly enjoyed, uh, watching Seth Rollins attempt to play second banana because it's a lot like, while dressed like that. Well, like, like, who's the Boy Scout who's going to help out Cody Rose, who's in a suit? And you're like, ah, here's the good virtuous. normal guy who's wearing a pimp jacket, high

heeled spangled boots. Yeah. And like these giant video game protagonist sunglasses. He's only unlocked one pair of sunglasses. Yeah, he hasn't gotten to the second pair yet. He needs to grind some XP before he can get it.

It's a very fascinating character because like he does this whole schick and then when it's time to like cut a promo he like takes the sunglasses off to get serious. And it's like dog, you're still wearing the rest of get up you're so good at this it almost works he needs sunglasses under them yeah so that when he whips it off it's just yeah in the NFL there is no margin for error one mistake can change the outcome of the game science proves quality sleep can help boost reaction time recovery time

and overall athletic performance as the official sleep wellness partner of the NFL sleep numbers mission is to provide players with data and insights to optimize their sleep for the ultimate competitive edge. Sleep is essential for recovery, and we all have unique needs. That's why Sleep Number smart beds are perfect for couples, with individualized settings for each side. Since 2018, Sleep Number and the NFL have teamed up to bring quality sleep to elite athletes.

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team and his own conference if a big 10 rival can i uh Can I give you some context from a reader of ours? I would love it. I need all the context I could get on this. So I just thought this was interesting. The day before this happened, we got a reader email from Andy that said all of the following things. And I'm just going to read this. He said, just want to make sure you folks are aware of how strange things are at UCLA right now.

After a blowout loss at Arizona, rumors began to circulate that Chip was done. UCLA then lost at home to Arizona State, playing a safety and tight end at quarterback and the 24-7 site reported he was getting fired. The most visible major donor, the one whose name is on the football facility, then gave an interview to a secondary newspaper in L.A.,

not the Times, gave his full-throated support to Chip, including that players passed drug tests, and get good grades. UCLA then crossed USC at the Coliseum. At some point, UCLA decided not to fire Chip. UCLA then got blown out at home by Cal. Michigan State then hired Jonathan Smith, who grew up in the shadow of the Rose Bowl

and has long been rumored to covet the UCLA job. Jedfish, who would have probably crawled to Westwood, again, this is Andy saying this. I'm not saying Jedfish would crawl anywhere. He has fins. Took the Washington job instead. this after Kaelin DeBoer took the Washington job in a year UCLA could have also fired Chip. Chip, who makes $6 million a year, then began interviewing for approximately every offensive coordinator job in the NFL.

He didn't get any of them. And here we are today. Good thing, there are no big changes on the horizon that might require a locked-in leader. Hey, Andy, way to go, bud, because you beat this thing by like eight hours. And then became the offensive coordinator at Ohio State. I would have been, I'm really glad that we didn't get this in time to do a show about it, because I would have told you there's no way that Chip ever, it's been a long time since Chip had a boss like that. At all. Yeah.

It's been a long time since anybody's been able to tell him anything. He's not a pleasant person. And like when he is a boss. A boss he used to boss around. Mm-hmm. Mm-hmm. Trying to have former New Hampshire player. well so you get like i mean you can't say ryan day does not know what he's getting into

i mean it's it to me it feels just like chip was like uh well which job would i like to have next year after being fired i guess i'll just take it now yeah he kind of did a little candyland shortcut which that's a noise yeah yeah i would like to give i would like to do the scurrilous thing and give the scoundrel chip kelly who abandoned UCLA for a coordinator job at a different cool and cut out the middle man. I would like to give him at least a couple of bits of dastardly credit. One, never acted like he wasn't leaving. Never, not for a second.

Interviewed for every job on the planet. I mean, they acted like they were firing him, so. Didn't recruit not one goddamn bit. Not one. Go look at UCLA's recruiting. It is in the sub-toilet of all toilets. It is. The sub-toil.

It is in. yeah it is located in the toilet of the toilet of the toilet of the toilet's toilet which is it's not that they're bad at recruiting is that they're not recruiting they're just not just chill they're not doing it it's just kind of out there man just just vibe it everybody I think one place in the country that should recruit itself I guess it is UCLA but I don't think they mean that quite so literally well as a big 10 university they're you know they're focused more on academics on things of that nature.

Meeting Michigan and the U.S. News and World Report. Mm-hmm. That's true. Their rivalry with Nebraska. We're going to do all the things to make fun of them, but one thing we cannot do is a sale their academic ranking where they are the, I think, arguably the best public institution right now. That is actually the subject of the fight with Michigan, yes.

Yeah, yeah, which is good because they certainly can't lean on their recruiting ranking for the 2024 class coming up. That would be because right now, if you're looking at what they got coming in, we're down a little bit, y'all. We're down a little bit when it comes to Westwood. You'll bring us into this. We need to hold something.

Is that how this thing? I'm in chip. One commit. One. So a lot of times, this is my long way of getting to, A lot of times coaches say the school sells itself. Chip Kelly for the last month, literally meant it.

Has been conducting an experiment. To see if the school could sell itself. And it did to one person. Yeah. Yeah. So they're kind of in a whole, if that sounds bad, by the way, Indiana's behind them. Indiana is sure. Indiana's behind them. It's kind of funny.

the flip side of this is like a month ago on Hand in the Dirt, no less, I was like, I don't really believe in Ohio State. And then they stole 8,000 five stars and stole Chip Kelly. And I'm like, you know what? I'm starting to believe in Ohio State a little bit. Ohio State Matt.

They're not so much mad as they're like hungry, hungry hippoing. It's all the marbles. One extremely funny detail, by the way, about Indiana being last. They have two commits to UCLA's one and are still behind them in the ring. It's not a lot of guys Are you looking at

What did you What did you bring to the class? Negative stars I subtracted Are you looking at 2025? Yeah, I was looking at 2025 Yeah Why?

2020 Why? What's 2024 look like? Still and it's funny It's funny like It's still thinking like oh it's February They got plenty of time and it's like No no signing day is this year

It's coming up brother It's bad It's all super bad So first you You know You lose your transfers You get that And then you get

Then there's another portal round And you probably end up In the hole there as well Then you got to play football games Everyone sees Everyone sees this team And everyone thinks Ooh that's a lot of playing flights

And then you get to sign some guys Everyone who's excited about that experience I like how Can you fly directly into Bloomington now You might actually be able too. I don't know. I'm sorry. That was mean. The multiple sort of phases of the transfer portal

and of various signing days have really only given people who are despairing about their football team multiple new phases of despair. They love it. People love that shit. People love feeling bad. It's great. I was like, oh great, Billy could just fuck up another transfer class. Oh, awesome. We could lose another

guy. That's great. Oh, look, we got a transfer guard from Dartmouth. We're saved. Awesome. Imagine hiring Bill O'Brien and ending up with Chip Kelly. In every way. What a multifaceted experience. Life is a journey, and sometimes journeys end in a hospital.

Yeah. No. Yeah. Yeah. Hey, just remember, sometimes the Oregon Trail takes you to fabulous places and sometimes you dive dysentery. That's kind of what I was trying to get to, yeah. Yeah. It's an appropriate metaphor with Chip.

His organ trail turned out real weird. Ew. It was great. The organ part specifically, the organ part. And now he's a banker. But then he kept going. Yeah. Oh, he's reverse organ trailing it.

He already has all his money and now he's going to the East Coast. Yeah. See if he gets there. Do you wish to return to Ohio? Why? No. Oregon Trail 2. We're going back.

If we're going, yeah, we're scared. We're scared we're turning around. There's no PlayStation. Old Link needs young Link. We have to go find him. We got a death stranding it all the way back to Ohio. We have to unify the chips. They must meet.

Okay. Has anybody here watched the most recent season of Great British Bake-off? I hate to bring it up again. I don't believe I've ever seen any episodes. It is a delightful. program and you should partake of it. But in this most recent season, which I have just started, because I'm, I'm behind because it's over, but they make animal cakes in the second episode, like, like animals, like, like,

like, like, like, like, if you're making a cat cake, they don't want a flat cake with two triangles on the top for, you know, a head. They want a, a cat that, like, sits up, like a 3D kind of cake. And not that all cakes aren't 3D, you know what I'm talking about. They had this incredibly, as the bakers are telling you what kind of cake they're making, they show a little cartoon of it. And then they show a little cross section of it to show like, here's what the fillings are going to be on the inside.

So they end up cutting cross sections out of all these cartoon animals and just showing delicious fillings inside. it's it's profoundly disturbing in a way I'm not sure I'm describing well but you're basically talking about as adorable adorable dog made of cake adorable cake dog with a knife and then the knife goes into it and you're like oh lemon poppy seed yeah and it's still smiling yeah right it's like oh it went right through its one fondant eyeball and half of its mouth is still just there like if the pop tar bowl had gore yeah yeah yeah Next year it will.

It's got bones. Oh, God. It's screaming. It's screaming in pleasure. I will start an N. High Health Collective dedicated solely to the welfare of players who make the Pop-Tart bowl next year, bite into one, and then scream at the nearest camera. It's got bones.

Make the Pop-Tarts scream. I would like to thank Pop-Tarts again for turning our sport into a Nordic horror movie for one day a year. we must sacrifice him and Zen I mean it's perfect It's an end of your festival and everything My greatest fantasy is to be destroyed Did the Swedish eulgoat make it?

Do we know? I don't know if you can Can we look at that Paul? Paul can we get that? Paul's our researcher He's a man He hasn't done anything until right now No

I don't know if the yule goat made it The headline is Sweden's yule goat has been burned run over and shot this year it's going to the birds I'm defeated yeah so

but this year it was hungry birds this has never happened before Anna Corinne Neiman the goat spokesperson told as it happens host

What is the name the spokesman Anna Corinne Neiman it's been a it says here a particularly rainy harvest season

made it difficult for farmers to get the grain out of the straw for this year's 13 meter tall yuletide goat, a Christmas tradition in the Swedish village of, I don't know this name. As a result, Jack Dawes and other hungry birds have taken roost upon its mighty horns where they're ripping off the straw from its frame in search of tasty treats.

Yeah, you thought we couldn't burn it down. He looks a little bit uncombed or unkempt right now, Neiman said, but to me, of course, he's still very handsome. Oh, the slow death. Okay. Oh, God. Courtesycbc.c.c.ca.ca.com for the article. The birds are executing the will of God.

That's what it is. It's God's will. That's beautiful. Very, very fond, very fond of this already. Very fond of, very fond, by the way, of UCLA actually hiring Deshaun Foster because that's pretty much what they could do. That's, that's, that's, that's hire somebody on the staff. I know that we're not doing, um, coaching predictions anymore after, you know, Fuente.

Everything. Mac, everything, but I like this higher. Can I say that through clenched teeth? I like this higher. All hires are fine. Because I was telling, I was talking to Ryan about this this morning, and I, the point that I was trying to make to him was that, like, UCLA football's primary nemesis is UCLA, the university.

And Deshaun Waster has had a number of different roles within the university. And I have to, I can't think there would be another candidate that would know their way around in both a good and a okay we're going to have to fight these people since but like you couple that with the player buy-in and like this this really does feel like the best available scenario for for everybody

yeah although there's not a whole lot on the roster to keep them like they say play the buy-in I'm trying okay and I wasn't bullshitting I really do think this I really do think this was a good hire but he's got a lot lot of work ahead of them.

This just got to be tough. And I think this is something we're going to do now that we have to actually sort of, it's one thing to know intellectually that all of these teams are now in the same, now in the same conference. It's another to start to see it play out and to go, oh, oh, they're megaboned. Like, they're super doomed. You know, like it's one thing to go, I don't know. UCLA might be headed for Indiana territory.

And then you see it and go, oh, man, UCLA, headed for Indiana territory. It's real on a level now that we can appreciate. I think the way I see it is like UCLA got on the life raft, right? Well, here's the thing. The life raft is being dragged behind the aircraft carrier. That's Ohio State. You're on the life raft. Like, yeah, you're not sinking, but you're not on the big boat. Yeah. Also, there's big waves back here that they don't even feel. Yeah, you're just a little choppy turbulence for you. You'll be fine. and as they found out if there's a very talented sailor

on the life boat guess where he gets to go the big boat guess who you don't have anymore the guy who makes everything work ta-da sucks man you know

and I'm kind of wondering what that moment's going to be in the SEC for me where I go oh boy that program that program's in trouble but that's like I think there's going to be

more and more moments even in the off season where you look at programs sort of struggling to adjust to this new reality and like it's going to become more real to you that oh fuck you live here now you know like this is this is where you're at and you're going to get your head coach stolen by a

program that's in your own conference and they're just going to take whatever they want and you can't do much about it like if Deshawn honestly if Deshawn Foster's really good as head coach they should hire him at running backs coach. Just keep teaching UCLA this lesson, just Ohio State taking whatever they want.

Yeah. I mean, it's like to have 30 coaches change jobs, even though so many of them, even though so many schools are just hiring interims is insane. Like, because of the portal, so many of them are just hiring interims. But like, I mean, in that way, the portal is cutting down on college football chaos. You know what I mean? It's like, if everyone was hiring from other schools, would we have had 40 FBS jobs change hands? this is i like this approach jason because it gets us to we don't talk about all of the good chaos exactly the portal is preventing look out how normalizing the portal is yeah this is also um there are occasionally sometimes debates that pop up that i don't really

give a fuck about um for instance the debate about whether coaches are uh comfortable in college anymore yeah right yeah oh my god like god it's making it so hard first First of all, making it hard for the managerial class. I'm out. I love it. Make it harder. Make it suck more. Like, it's, okay.

So Jeff Hathley leaves from almost getting fired for an NFL job. Carrying water for Jeff Hathley. And everyone's like, oh, this is because it's so hard to coach in college football. It's so hard to make millions of dollars in college football. Pete, could you outsource that one? And then where's that take go when Chip does the same thing, what stays in college? And mysterious. Nothing?

That Ohio State is the NFL. Well, granted, they are, sure. They're troops and that makes them professionals. Okay, yes. Hold on, Holly. Let's go ahead and connect that. Special forces on the ground somewhere in the world. Central Command.

Ohio State. We can go ahead and connect this. They are troops, right, via the NFL. Because the NFL also are troops. William Morris, I will take my money now. Thank you. Can we do a brief podcast? Best Podcasts.

Yeah. Why? Something going on? Well, thing briefly. Podcast business. It's the business. Just business. There you go.

That's the brief ones. I love it. I love how ready you are to drop that at a moment's notice any time. Listen, it's the only thing I contribute to this show. I just wanted to mention that if you're coming to our live show on Friday and you don't know where your ticket is, check Splash's website because that's where your ticket is. You should have emailed to you if that didn't work. check the website. The other thing is our Trevor Project Fundraiser ends this Friday night.

Call it at the end of the live show. The Travel Project Fundraiser will be concluded. So all sales between right now and February 17th, the money from those sales will be added to our donation. So if you have delayed, right now is the time. Thank you. We're going to have one of those giant paper thermometers that we can color in. I hadn't thought about doing that, but. Crafts. Yeah, we'll bring a crafting table, I guess. Love it, please.

We're excited to see everybody who's going to show out this Friday night to join Forecasting Conversation. I want to do a quick mention for the newsletter that Holly and I put out twice a week, two things a week. That would be Channel 6. Working on something very fun and exciting because, you know, football's over. So why not go ahead and talk about how. everyone on the internet lies. So I'm trying to prove why you can't land a plane.

That's it. Except he's accidentally proving on the way that he, Spencer, could land a plane. On account of being built different. But it could work for me. I am percentages more capable. Several percentage points more capable of landing the plane than an average person who has not attempted this or researched it or looked into a flight. So what's great about this is that 30 seconds ago, some people probably thought I was joking. so is it is it how percentage is close are you at this point uh you know i would say this

the average person just to sit cold into the cockpit of the airplane according to my research which you can read on channel six our fantastic newsletter um the chances aren't good and with me they're slightly less than terrible spencer i view landing a plane as a binary act either you do or do not successfully land the plane sir how much stiner there's many different gradations of how you land let me put it this way how are we getting to the ground and at what speed yeah that's that is my question yeah yeah yeah i think if i am in charge you stand a slightly better chance of uh of not dying slightly better and those chances are still pretty slim again that's stinder math yeah this is yeah you got a 50% chance of survival but in my hands because i'm a mutant anyway the l a

times interviewed a bunch of Boeing employees and former Boeing employees this week who said that they would not let their family fly on Max Jets and wouldn't fly on them themselves. I'm sure it's fine. Probably fine. Yeah. Seems totally fine. But if you're in a MaxJet and I'm at the wheel, it won't matter because the bolts are going to fly out of that bitch anyway.

Are you magnetic? In so many ways, yes. Oh, no, we never mind. We went over that last week. Okay. Yeah. Channel 6. In our bio, subscribe. Thrive.