Shutdown Fullcast - Recovery Mode

Episode Date: March 11, 2026

Dana Holgorsen's whoop score, investigatedBuff Hutts, discussedWhat are we all devoting our lives to now that college football has been FixedSpecial guest announcement for next week that also doubles as a test to see who reads the show notes: the BTK killerPresidential + Vice Presidential aggregate smells, rankedMid-show argument over who brought Pizza Hut to RussiaFlorida misses on a culturally important recruitBuckle the fuck up, it's Price Of Crude In The Permian ™ timeTobacco companies: call usTravis Kelce get your giant dick over here and take your medicineThe Shutdown Fullcast is on Patreon. This is how we pay our producers, and occasionally ourselves. If you'd like to help with that, give us $4 a month (or a larger, funnier number of your choosing) and we'll give you bonus episodes. As of this recording we have delivered 27 (twenty-seven) bonus episodes since launching in August. We think this is a pretty good deal (for you)Now through March 31, 100% of proceeds from all PTKU merch sales will be donated to TransVisible Montana. Visit preownedairboats.com to purchase BRAND-NEW BLUE SHARKS GEAR #EXCLUSIVEShutdown Fullcast is produced by Michael Ray SurberFullcast theme variant arranged and performed by Corey CunninghamDID YOU KNOW: Spencer and Holly write Channel 6, a year-round newsletter that is mostly about football, until it’s notBefore the world ends (again), treat yourself to Jason’s critically praised novel and other workTravel in your mind palace to Phantom Island, Ryan’s new show with Steven Godfrey, which is not a college football show because another simply cannot existCheck out Surber’s band, Killer Antz

Yeah, yeah, fuck yeah. Here comes. Yeah, it's a really stressed out looking guy. Yeah. Except for him. Paragata does not look stressed out. He's just, he looks like very normal. He wears like a like a $150,000 wrist watch while he races.

Yeah. What's a gold or platinum or something? Like in addition to his whoop, you know? Yeah, I was going to say like, is it next to it? No, the whoop for for this race, he kept it under. his armpit, which was kind of a new thing. I don't know if it was arrow or if it was just

like a more comfortable, but like he lifted up his arm and there was like his big black box under his armpit. There was like, what the fuck is that? He's cheating. And then the team was like, that's his whoop. What's what's a whoop? It's like a tracker for like

heart rate, but also I think it also like calorie burning and watts. It has a general It has a general, like, it has something called an HSV, which is basically a readiness score. So he had an arm pit computer. Yeah, yeah, basically sending shit to his team that was like, it's like the, it's essentially the helmet stuff. It's where I put my heads up display and my arms up display, I guess, as it were.

During one of my, like, I'm going to get ready for something bouts to train, I had a whoop for like six months. Yeah. and it keeps some horrifying information on you. And by that, I mean, I was trying to do this and trying to do too much at the same time. So your readiness score could sometimes look dead. Like if you've, like, I would go out drinking. And then it'd be like, okay, I'm going to go work out. And then like, okay, I'm on like four hour sleep.

It's fine. And you wake up the next morning. And they're like, your readiness score is deceased. Like, you have died. You've been fucking up. They're like, don't even go on a walk. Wasted. This whoop sounds pretty awesome

That's a cool game You're like, wow, I'm really good at it Yeah, you got the high score I'm pretty sure you won whoop If this were golf man I'd be in the money Look, I'm at par It says zero

Out here, oh in the game hit points No, no, no This is when Spencer's motif changes And he develops his second health bar Yeah, this was like this was a lot like the NCAA 25 26 damage meter like you know they're like what does your body look like all red purple yeah they're like don't go downstairs today you're all nuclear green uh did i do did i do the remember like at one point they told pete carroll to stop playing basketball because he had no

cartilage in his knees and he's like i got a new doctor that was me i was like i don't need this wolf things full of shit. I found a doctor who doesn't believe in cartilage. Dr. Pepper, hello. He told me life is about getting rid of your cartilage. You're born with it. It's a curse. It's a race to see who can lose it the fastest.

Listen, I don't need a machine to tell me how good I feel. Get that cartilage at me. That's just, it's not bone, it's not flesh, don't know what it is. Data. Ew. Dad is for armpits. Dad is for bitches. I don't need to listen to this thing.

I wonder how many college football players who have to wear those things, wear the bands, right, when they look at it, if they've been, I don't know, going real hard, which I imagine there are still some kids. I know. I know the kids don't party these days. They don't have sex. They don't do anything wrong. Someone out there is still doing it.

Okay. And I wonder if the trainers are looking at their ready. readiness sometimes and they go who man man Robert Robert went out hard last night god damn like he still had it on like if they can monitor that like on the on the gym you know you have the wall where it's like fastest most bench you know blah blah blah it's got all the workout numbers and down there in the corner lowest whoop lowest who's rock bottom in this gym who's really gutting it out today not who should go home and take a nap but the person you're like oh yeah who's the achiever who's the best at strain who's really getting 110% out and by that

that I mean 10% eating into their life force I mean you know who the real answer would be is one of the coaches right like I'm going through my eighth divorce you know that guy that guy is the one who's working the hardest Dana Holgerson with his negative 40 whoop score yeah negative 40 whoop score but reported 120 plus happiness. Yeah. That's what I want. Dana's like, if Dana did a thing where he mapped his whoop score versus his perceived happiness,

it would look like a sign worse. Where the bottom was his actual physical state and the top was how he said he felt. It looks exactly like a piece of fried chicken. Yeah. Doctor's like, well, Dana, the good news is you're alive now and he's like, I know. Not for long. I hate it. Gotta get back to the old me.

That is true though. What is true? So, you know, I have had a turn over the last year or two where I don't drink that much. I try to get enough sleep, which is new. And I try to take care of myself and not eat like an idiot. And I will tell you, the perceived happiness, slower. It's true. Slower.

I don't, I don't want to say by like a. standard deviation. But marginally, it has not improved my life. Like, I wonder if perceived is the keyword there. It is. No, it's 100%. Yeah. Yeah. Like, like, you feel better, but not as much as you think you should. Is that what it is? There's a part of my head that is like the dog looking up at the dinner table going, but I expected treats. It's like a 5% passive buff all the time, but what you want is wings. want our bad decisions you know like i know why dogs drink antifreeze because they're like it's delicious it's bright it's bright it's delicious calls to me yeah like why do i need to go blow a thousand dollars

at a roulette table and the answer is delicious antifreeze there is kind of an assertive agency to self destruction that uh you know like man this this this this is my body i'm going to fuck it up no one no one gets to tell me not to do it. Well, like, I don't think you should, it's true. I don't think you should get to write about sports gambling if you're not an addict of some sort. I don't, because I think you should have a license. You should be like, listen, I was addicted to this or I was addicted to that

because. I've done the time. There are a thousand articles about how bad parleyes are. Friend, I'm not going to contest any of that. I will not doubt any of the actual math that is about the parlay being bad for you. it is like that's there are a thousand articles that are like did you know that this doesn't work did you know that you'll lose money motherfucker of course we knew of course what if i don't yeah what if i don't yeah what if you don't because i might not then you're new then you're not the bulk of people yeah you're not the bulk of people who would consider themselves sports gamblers or gamblers period because they don't know ball like i do that's so the actual thing is me going okay an actual gambler with some discipline will say i'm going to die a little

that's it it's a splurge you say i'm going to die 500 dollars this month and i'm going to stop and there's some people who could do that i understand some people who can't that's where this whole issue lies the part i have is the the sliver of the audience that it's like being told hey did you know a parley is actually bad math of course they knew that's not the point Did you know robbing a bank is bad? Did you know you'll probably go to jail for it? Yeah. But that's where the money is.

That's where the... Listen, I will quote the greatest documentary of our time, Heat, all right? The action is the juice. You got the juice now. Yeah. This is again where the mainstream media does not understand how important it is to speak to the dumbass American. That's it. I think if I were writing about games,

in the 2020s, it would be like, this is probably going to go bad. The thing that you should know is you will not enjoy that it felt bad. You will not look back on it and think, damn, that was fun. It will all feel bad. You will regret it forever. It will be fun for two days. And then it will be bad for the next 50 years. Like, you have to sort of set this thing.

And then it's still going to happen, right? They're still going to do it. It's still going to happen. But you've planted that seed of, oh, they told me I was going to feel bad for longer than I felt good, right? So, like, you have to acknowledge the feelings part of it, and you have to sort of set up a told you so. Otherwise, it's just like, if all we're talking about is probabilities, all I'm hearing is adversity. Haters. They said it couldn't be done.

They said I couldn't put down 13 spot parlay. That involves Purdue. They said I couldn't do it. I see two miners. What they say now. Yeah. I see two miners. One of them has his pick and is walking home on the bottom tunnel.

And he's an inch away from the diamond seam, right? And then there's another one who just struck it. One more step to his parlay. Yeah. I don't know. I think I'm speaking for the like 20% of the audience that understands a certain amount of destructive vice in one's life and has the discipline to perhaps, perhaps tolerate it. Yeah.

I mean, as a person used to dabble and came out a few bucks ahead, might I add, like there is sort of a... Should go back, dude. I might lock back in. I might really push my luck. Now's the time. Sounds like you need to keep going. Now that you can bet on literally anything is definitely the time.

I mean, like, yeah, there is an extent to which it's just fun. And then there's also the extent to which it's not fun at all. And everyone has to find that fine line. And the thing is don't go near it. Don't even like, once you sense the line might be somewhere near the horizon, it's time to turn back. I don't understand people who, I don't understand Kalsi not taking a bet. Like being like, well, we won't bet on the deaths of a world. Why not?

You're open, aren't you? I mean, yeah, you can bet on the death of like, you know, a country, but not a specific person. It's like that thing in the movie where, like, the good guy, like, the good guy, like, murders 100 henchmen and then makes it to the villain and is just like

I won't kill you this isn't who we are this is a line I can't cry I was like what about all those other motherfuckers you crossed I can see a hundred instances

of you being exactly this person dude you're a fucking slaughterhouse what are you talking about yeah this is why I don't I won't stoop to your level

they were extras that's why I always find out funny when Nick Sabin would talk about sportsmanship because, yes, I have no doubt he actually sincerely believes in these things. But I'm like, you were beating, you know, some Mercer class team like 56-0, right? You're like 100%.

And you scheduled them every single year. Every single year. You're like, yes, we just want to do things the right way, which is by throwing a 340-pound defensive tackle who can, as a vertical leap of 67 inches, had a guy who's going to be a dentist in two years. What is the minimum that you think, like, 2016 Alabama could have beaten Mercer by, right? Like, could they have possibly won 10 to nothing? Can we pull, like, let's pull like Charleston Southern. I don't want to, like Mercer's a good perspective.

Because I usually, when I mention Alabama and I mentioned them blowing people out in the glory days of the Sabin era. We always pick on Mercer. I've always picked on Mercer because they lost 56-0 and that score sticks in my head. Sorry, Mercer. Sorry, Mercer. It's like three people. I apologize to you. We'll pick someone else. Charleston Southern.

You're next. You're next, okay? Is there any universe where they could have won 10-0 and how many games would they have to play to get there? Well, like, could Nick Sabin, like prime Nick Saban, tell the young men, we just want to win 14 to nothing today. No more than that. Like, would it even be possible to hold it to that? Like, like, convince them to down it at the one every time. and then they look at him and they think, are you Nick Saban?

Are you still Nick Saban? You're not Nick Saban anymore. I don't know. You would have to do things that would border on the violating the integrity of the game in order to keep it at 14-0. Because honestly, a ball carrier is just going to spit the ball out when they get hit. You know? I think most people don't understand that.

But if they took a snap, they're like, okay, hey, man, could you get a yard? Could you get a yard versus a prime college football defense? Enough try as you could advance a yard. Enough. At some point. If provided you are reincarnated after each attempt. Yes. Yeah.

Because again, don't think you understand how hard you're getting hit. You're getting hit. If you've ever been hit by a car, and I'm not exaggerating as somebody who has been hit by a car, and who has hit a car in a vehicle, the motorcycle specifically, comparable, 100% comparable, right? You're going to cough up the ball.

Most people are like, oh yeah, I could get a yard. Okay, even if you get a yard, do you know where the ball's going? It's going back that way. You're not holding onto it. Yeah. And like, I don't know, it doesn't matter. Got yard. Said I couldn't get yard.

I died 17 times and fumbled 13 touchdowns the other way. Got my yard. I'm running that Marshall Patan bone. I got a yard. How many people died doing? it. Never mind. But they were all me, so whatever. Yeah, they were all me.

I was just killing me. See, this is going to go back to the gambling thing. Hey, man, I was just killing me. Exactly. I'm free. You got to let me kill me. I'm my greatest enemy. Watch this does in my whoop score.

See, this says that I'm ready for a light, swim, or heavy gambling. That's what it says. That's what it says. Your Honor says right here on this meter that I have to wear says I'm good to go. We need a whoops score that does readiness for actual adult activities, right? Hey, you're ready to pay your taxes and get divorced today. Nope. Not quite.

Need eat some veggies. Someone you love said, we need to talk. Are you ready for it? No. Wops says no. My ticker ain't ready for that. Yeah. My children have intense questions about family histories.

No. I need to go take up jogging for a few months. I want to be able to avoid adult responsibilities by pointing up my whoop and being like, I'm sorry. I am not ready for this budgeting discussion. You want me to clean the bathroom, but unfortunately, I'm taking care of my health. Yeah, sorry. I'm in recovery mode for the next few years. Yeah.

Can we talk about this credit card bill? Oh, God. It's whew. Boy, let me see. Whoop score, credit score. I swear to God, everywhere I go. Numbers, numbers, numbers. Yeah, speaking of numbers, this parlay is looking real hot.

I got the whoop for that. Whoop said I can get all draft kings. Tell you what, as soon as this parlay hits, I'll have the whoop to do all the dishes. How about that? This podcast sponsored by Whoop, the only app that can tell you that it's okay to Campbell. Whop. Wow, it's got an H in it. I didn't.

Yeah, whoop? Whop? Like, what do you think? If you slapped a whoop on trying to pick the funniest person I can possibly imagine at this point. Like, if you slapped a whoop on our president. Oh, God. He's just in the negatives, right? Like, it's just like, this is a corpse.

Does it melt? Yeah. The whoop is incinerated. It just starts screaming. Yeah. The watch. Not again! No, just a little bit all the time, right?

Like he walks by and you hear it. The watch on his stupid little wrist is like, how? It starts talking to you, but like in the noises of the aliens from signs, distressed clicking. Does not compute. Like, it's probably like, did you put this on a mannequin? It's like, no, seriously, put me on a human arm. Yeah, yeah, I'll put, put, yeah, exactly.

Live to an arm. No signal, no signal. Searching, searching like Bluetooth when it can't, can't link up. Yeah. It looks like you're ready to watch Newsmax for seven hours straight. And tweet. It appears you've dropped your whoop in the toilet. I wondered at one point does whoops start just talking back at you like,

I know you're not listening, motherfucker. Listen. Like, does whoop intervene? You're disobeying your whooping your whoop for days at a time. We need to sleep. You need to sleep. You need to sleep. I'll show you who needs to sleep.

At one point, does whoop go, it's Coke, right? It's Coke. You're doing a lot of Coke, aren't you? You know, does Kirby smarts look at them and they're like, winning? You're just winning. That's it. Like at one point did his whoop go, hey, are you from South Georgia?

Okay, we won't worry about that blood pressure. That's fine. You run a little hot anyway. We know. I think he just sets his whoop to tell him he can't do it. Your whoop don't think you're in shape for this. Mario Cristobal's whoop is like, doesn't matter.

Don't look at this number. Yeah, number's life's all vibes. Who cares? Listen, what this who needs to know is do you want it or not? Well, I think Mario's whoop is like, I don't know. I wouldn't do it, right? And Dan Lannning has the opposite model that's like, do it. Touch the stove.

Got the green goblin on his arm. But they're both like, we don't really understand how this works, but we wear it because in our culture, Mario Christobal and Dan Lannin's shared culture, if we don't have a black rubber band of some kind on our wrists, no one will talk to us or acknowledge us. Because you have, if you're a gentleman with that kind of brain, you have one thought. So you get a black rubber band that has that thought written on it. Someone asks you a question, you hold it up. Next. Dan Lining says, go for it. Next. I think that Kirk Ferrence's Ready app is just like a Snoopy watch from 1986.

And like, well, Snoopy's pointing at the old eight and the 12th. That means it's time to go to the office. Or the other eight and 12 beats. It's bedtime. Yeah, that's right. Old Kirk got to turn in. to the shutdown forecast. You are listening to the internet's only college football podcast. I'm Spencer Hall.

Just want to let that soak in a little bit. I never do. Just rush by. I'm going to let me be me. I'm Spencer Hall and I am joined this week by Jason Kirk. Hi. I'm going to soak that in as well. Yeah.

Jason Kirk. It's really luxuriate in it. Jason. The faces. I'm making the face at his voice. I just want that to be clear. And Holly Anderson. Don't, don't soak it.

Do not. Do not moisten. Do no. And Michael. I'm on Gremlin Protocol. Holly Anderson sec. And then, uh, not better. Not better.

And Michael Serber joining us on the ones and two. You know who really would have loved this. This is Ryan, who's not here. I know. I know. Because Ryan and I were having a discussion this week. And it's this. There is a buff Java the hut or a buff hut.

It's not Java. But in the upcoming Star Wars production, there is a buff hut. And I'm going to, if you haven't seen it, I'm going to share. But, yes. I believe, by the way, his name is Grackus. Jahi Bhakti Tingi, also known as Grakis the hut. We have enough syllables. You didn't have to do all that.

I'm sorry, this is Rota. Rota hut. There are multiple buff huts. Oh, right, of course, yes. Or Rata hut. But I'm going to... What Star Wars is this? Conflicting interpretations?

This is the New Mandalorian. And there are, you know, because it's been all over place, Rada Hut went from being an adorable baby hut or a huttlet. Is that the one in the cartoon? Is this like baby Anthony Soprano? Yes. Or what's it name, AJ? Yes, AJ.

I didn't watch that show. But I'm going to find it in a link. This is the Rizzler? Is this when he gets the mustache or something? This is the Costco Boys Hut. Yeah. One boom from Tatooine. I'm going to give this to you in a link that does not take up the entire box.

There you go. That is... Brother, where are your pixels? Yeah, that is Rota Hut. That is the best image I could get. Yeah. Well, it is funny how, like, Java, like, when you have one iconic... Server soaking it in.

More soaking. There's such a small picture that you have sent in. I know. It's the smallest. That's the best one I could find. Like when you have one representative of a species and that one looks like a slug, people think for 40 years, oh, all huts look like slugs. Like there have been others, like, you know, a cute little one and like other ones who exercise and stuff.

But they're all like they're all characterized as lazy because of Java. And then along comes this individual who has a far superior whoop's score to Jamba. That's Jamba the Hut. Jamba the Hut. What planet do you come from? witness. That's right. Hey, everybody, don't try those Jedi tricks on me. Here we go. But that is an extremely buff hut, which led me to think and Ryan to think the same thing, which is that the huts are the Gruden's. That does basically, okay, now we're on to something. Yeah, that is basically Deuce.

That is basically Deuce Gruden. If you've never seen John Gruden's son, Deuce, he was about- For some people, this will be news to you. But yeah, of course John Gruden has a son named Deuce. Of course. Of course. I made him Deuce. You knew this in your heart. Love this guy. I call him Deuce. Because he's the second version of me. Deuce Gurdon, if you want to know what he looks like, he looks like the martial arts training mannequin.

Or if you're white, just take a look at your thumb. Yeah. There he is. That's Deuce. Yeah, Deuce. Deuce looks so much like. Are Coach's sons all grown in popsicle molds? Why do they all look like this?

He's short even. He's very short. And like a lot of very short guys, he has compensated for being short by becoming the most jacked human being you've ever seen. Now, you're going to talk about an exciting photo. Deuce Gruden, standing next to Raiders owner Mark Davis. Oh, God.

Two oddly shaped sons just in every way. physique, hair, everything. Like, just two guys who haven't finished rendering, you know? Just, hold on, pixels, pixels resolving. We don't got the graphics card for either of these guys. These are new guys. These are unique guys. Like, there are no two people who look like Mark Davis. And Deuce Gruden is, there's a number of him, but not very many, right?

So this is about as rare a combo of guys as you could see. and they're both Raiders sons. We put these guys on a president. Yeah, this is, and I, you know, like, I sympathize. You come from a family of big people. One way to deal with that, put it to work in the gym, right? That's one way you do it. And that's apparently what Roda Hut did.

He's like, I'm not going to be like my dad. I'm going to be buff. He's eventually going to be a big like Java anyway. But for a few, a few seconds. It's going to catch up. It's going to catch up to him. It's going to catch up to him, man. It's just destiny.

Gene's destiny. Once he's in his 40s. How old is Java? Let's see here. Yeah, in his 40s, he's going to go through the incident. Jabba's old as hell. Java's 600 years old, man. Cut him some slack.

He's 600. You know what? He sucks, but. I'm going to tell you, he looks really good for 600. Yeah, I'm saying. You know? He looks better than John Gruden. I'll say.

John, the evil comes out, is what I'm saying. But yeah, we decided that the Gruden's were the huts. Because if you put John Gruden next to Deuce Gruden, it's Jabba and Rota. Deuce Gruden looks like, I think I've talked about this program before, about the Reading Rainbow episode where they make mummies. And they're like 3D printing a mummy. And this is like before they finished putting all the features on the mummy.

Right? Because the last things to go on are like, you know, the eyebrows. Mm-hmm. This looks like this person looks like he's been boiled. Park-hooked Gruden. Mm-hmm. Come to Hooters. Like he's a take-and-bake, right?

Like, you got to take him home and finish him off in the oven. Yeah. Which they didn't do. Which, I don't know if you've ever done. Like, in my collegiate years, I did that. And you're like, yeah, listen, we picked it up at the store. It's fine. He's still perfect.

Wait, you would just eat the, like, the Papa Murphys or whatever without cooking it? Not sober, no. But that happened once. That's fine. Did you put it in the oven? I like how did I put it in? I like how you have a version of the left the cardboard on the bottom of the pizza that is somehow weirder? For everything.

I have a version of that for everything. For cars, for food, for travel, right, for life decisions. I have that for everything. Use me as a warning, not an example. It's very important when you talk, when you have elders in your community. You need to know. There's two kinds of them, okay? there's warnings and there's examples

and you want to be an example you don't want to be a warning but warnings are important to respect your elders but know whether they're a warning or an example for instance if one of them's like hey parley's are the way to go I would say use your elders

use your elders as resources as examples regardless but like the respect that part is that part is negotiable but regardless there is something valuable to take from the decisions of all your elders you know speaking of ideas that are being done by elders

how are we feeling about college football since it was fixed on Friday afternoon feeling better about it yeah man yeah man like he did it again fixed it again did it again only he could do it just got a bunch of grouchy old white guys in a room,

and then they fixed college football. Just like on an afternoon on a Friday, the day when, as everyone knows, everyone is working really hard and getting a lot of serious stuff done was when they convened to fix college football, even though they fix it every two or three months, and like a document gets written

that fixes all the problems, and then, you know, two months later, Nick Saban is saying all the problems are still the same, and then they fix them again. But this time they did it, it. They fixed it. I just think that's really cool. I don't know what there is to talk about in college football now that it's been fixed yet again. Now that we got it. I love Nick complaining about college football, by the way. He is the most, like, he is the most guy who still lives in the ocean

yelling at the like fish that now has lungs, right? Get out of there. It's not about fish having lungs. Fish belonged out here. Like, yeah, an amphibian who just crawled out the ocean, yelling at the ocean. Exactly. Losers? What are you still doing there? Yeah. Nick left to avoid the thing that should have happened.

Let's not give Nick. First of all, Nick's been hanging out with the big fella. A little bit more than you maybe want him to, which is more than once. So let's not give him credit that he does not deserve. He also does not deserve credit for having any vision for the future of the sport because he is the past. like he is openly antagonistic to the notion of player agency. And why not? When you run a roster into the ground and you need 200 bodies a year to win a national title, I get it.

You don't want to pay them. And Nick can say he's, oh, yeah, no, paying players, you know, like getting a share. It won't say paying, but getting a share is a good thing. He doesn't believe that. I do not believe he believes that. Well, it's fixed now. Yeah, it's fixed. It's fixed.

Yeah, it's good. Everything's fixed. It's all better than it was. All the problems are gone. Now, granted, all the problems are still around, and I still hate them, and I'm still mad about them. So I think we need another doc. I think it's time to fix college football again.

I think it's time to gather the exact same guys who just fixed it, and they need to fix it again. I think that's what we need to happen, and probably a month or so or whatever. Live on Fox News. Yeah, and they'll just fix it. I mean, I really trust these people to fix it, like, because they're doing such a great job at everything else. Like, when you look around, you know, the global economy line go down,

it's hard to make line go down, but they've just pushed the line go down button. They've gotten all the boats stuck. Like, you know, before, we would do a whole episode about, like, one boat stuck. Now it's like every boat stuck. And the same guys who got every boat stuck are the guys who just fix college football and we'll fix it again in another few days, probably. I just think it's really cool. the most powerful minds in the world are on it.

Power could be good or bad, but they're certainly powerful, certainly affecting and influential. And it's our little sport that gets to be fixed. None of the other sports. All the other ones are fine. College basketball is evidently fine. Like the pro football is fine. Every sport is great.

But this one deserves all the attention of the guys who fix stuff by not doing anything. And that's cool, man. It's cool to get all the. the spotlight and all the, we're the favorite child of guys who don't do anything. Hey, Jason. Jason, I have a question. What was the suggestion for fixing it that fixed it? Well, this time, the big fellow is going to write an even larger executive order.

Big and beautiful a. Big, just more gorgeous than ever before. That'll be like, it is hereby resolved. I declare the things are fixed. And that ought to do it, I think. What that will happen is every state, all their judges will say, well, shit, okay, that's cool. You know, granted, I'm a booster of this team that hates this other team and this other state, and if this goes through, they might have an advantage over us, but that's okay.

I don't care because there's a memo that says the problems are fixed, so I go along with all this. So basically, every state will just be fine with declaring the things fixed, but it won't work, so they'll have to do it again, so they'll have to write an even bigger memo. but that'll fix it. You see. The boats will still be stuck, though, but... All boats stuck. Somehow even more boats will be stuck,

but at least college sports will be fixed, which, and by fixed, do I mean, like, you know, the players will get this or the playoff will work like that, or coaches will blah, blah, blah, blah. No, no, I just mean it'll be fixed. Good, good. Like, stop asking me for details.

I'm just telling you to be fixed. There was a moment when the big fellow was asked about this. And he said, you know, it was really working really, well before. Before. Now, mind you, when he was president before.

Yeah. Before, could be 1983. Could be before. Oh, gosh, I don't know. Integration. Could be 1867. That's what it was. Yeah.

College football was pretty good before Rutgers got involved. I think that part is true. Yeah. I mean, they certainly didn't change it. Quality-wise. They did not alter much about it, really. Yeah. So granted that

The answer was it was pretty good before And I'm going to paraphrase But I'm not really stretching the truth here Why don't you just take it back to the courts Take it back to the courts? I think the thing is that doesn't ever happen in college sports Like we don't get ever lawsuits about anything We never get to enjoy that

Like just year after year after year Of never getting to hear the NCAA go to court Or like player sue for more football or just none of it has ever been tested. Never been, you know, like decade after decade of no one really knows if any of this stuff is legal because the courts never get to weigh in on it. It sucks, man. I just really wish they got to finally have some lawsuits in college sports.

That would help fix it too. Hey, Jason, like you said, there's a lot going on. I don't really know how any reasonable, remotely, politically engaged in dull is supposed to remember a unanimous Supreme Court decision that occurred in. our first administration that included, among other noteworthy moments, Brett fucking Kavanaugh having a good point. I don't understand why that would stick in anybody's brain. Yeah.

That's when you know you're out there, man. Yeah, you got the dumbest boy on the Supreme Court. And he was passionate about that one. It was like, oh, we finally found something that fucking sluggo here can write the majority opinion on. Okay, he can handle this one. You got him. Mr. Mr.

fucking thinking cap. This is right up his alley. You got him. You got junior varsity handmade ass Amy Barrett. You got the fucking, the fucking cybertron butt plug gorsage. They're all in one line with the normal people and the evil, but also normal people on the court being like, yeah, it seems like your argument sucks. The Kavanaugh's job is like smashing. the evil button, right? Just like, like Hulk who sees button that says evil and like, bang, I love

that button. This one thing, one college sports thing, I don't remember what the fuck it was. It was like seven years ago. It comes along and it's like, he's like Will Ferrell in the, in old school, just suddenly Mr. Smart guy. Like all of his brain cells are devoted to that. Yeah, like most of the time he's the jock falling asleep in class. He's like, I got to tuck it under my belt. Sorry. I can't stand up for a minute. Oh, I was that a crazy dream. Am I drooling? Oh, fuck. Hey, man, I'd be thrilled if I'd put it what he's put it through. I'd be thrilled that it still works.

And it's still attached to my body. It would certainly be, it would certainly be, it would be the only thing he has going for him. Yeah. But yeah, but yeah, Mr. Tapioca person, sir, you forgot the time we had to hand it to that guy? I think the thing is it's fixed now. So as a college football podcast, we should probably have the guy who fixed it come on to apolitically explain to us

how he fixed it, right? I see where you were going. We don't want to talk politics with him. That would be crazy. We'll just innocently do it so that there's no blowback on us and we don't have to delist it from our YouTube once we post it and all that stuff. Yeah.

Like, once you're running in shame when even our own fan base is like, what the fuck, dude? Just because he's the guy who fixed it. So I think you think it would be cool to have him on to talk about that and only that and not like. Yeah. Because, like, if he were to reach out to us, you know, it would be like, like, humbling to like, wow, he respects us his journalist, not like, oh, he thinks we're stupid pawns, you know?

So, like, I think we should go for it. He thinks we're not like a tiny elfin growing foam capsule version of Baby Gurdon. Yeah, so next week, we're going to have the BTK killer on. This is our way of saying. To tell us how he fixed college football. And he's just going to have a couple. We're going to have a couple. xenomorphs on.

We're going to have... Okay, you know, here, this is a great question. This is a great question. Since this is not the first one of these idiotic working groups that we've seen, try and start fixing this sport, it is, to my memory, keep me honest here, the first one of these idiot working groups, I say because the idiot here is modifying both the concept of the working group and the people in it. I just want to be clear, yes, that's Tennessee's chancellor in there,

serving as one of two women in the room, go balls. Girl boss. But it is demonstrably clear from the content of these groups, the more and more they happen, that it does not really matter what kind of person you put in there. So if we were just picking an array of people, I mean, do they even have to be people? Listen, can my dog... You put UGA in there? Yeah, I was good, okay, or we could do a live dog and have my dog, but Uga might be,

Uga might be better suited to the task at hand. Who would we put in our working group to fix college football and get the exact same results? I think Uga can stay alive for two hours. Okay. It's a race. I want the Irish guy. Looks like the meeting's adjourned. Let's leave for an early Friday afternoon.

I want the Irish guy from Instagram who just reviews potatoes. Yeah. Get him in. What's his name, Garrett? Yeah. I mean, and like, I love this because you can sell all this to the big guy. You could be like, you know, the Irish. are really important to college football, right?

Like, in a sense, that's very true. Yeah. So we need this guy, because look how Irish he is. I think we need a football. Just like a football? A football. We could paint a face on it, like Castaway. I'm sure that the president probably loves Tom Hanks

because he has seen him in the movies. But only Splash. Has Darrell Hanna not been through enough? True, true. I think we need, let's get a few minutes. members of the Diego Pavia family in there. Only the ones that have been arrested,

which still gives us a pretty good choice. That's quite a selection. Only the ones who have been arrested at a game. You know they love him. You know, like, there's no... But like, and I don't say this defensively, I say, like, in the no-thoughts way, like they've never thought about any of this.

It's just more like he's got aura, right? Like, it's that level of thinking. He got shot! Like, he's got dragged- He got shot! And he pumped his arm. It's that level of thinking. Yeah.

I don't defend. that it's what it is. No, they like policy, no. Not one note. Never heard of it. What the fuck is that? Yeah, they're like, yeah, I'll vote for him. He's an alpha. Look at him. He's, he's, he's so tall. That's a W.W.E.

Hall of favor. Yeah, exactly. Have you taken a stutter? Let's get the Undertaker in there. Let's get the Undertaker in there while we have people who aren't going to solve shit. The Undertaker's a great fucking idea. Wow. Yeah. Perfect in every way. They can compare skincare. He has, like, you can find videos of him talking about his beloved Texas longhorns

and wearing cop shirts and like wanting to have like a post wrestling I'm a talking guy career and has been pointed out he is the the big gold jacket man of the WWE Hall of Fame now that's his job

every Hall of Fame needs a huge man who comes to tell you you've made the cut he says they have a David Baker now that's awesome yeah it's not quite it's incredible how big he is and he's still not quite as big as David Baker. But anyway, I think, yes, approved.

Undertaker is on the fixing college sports panel when it needs fixed. Like sometime during March Madness, they'll get mad about something. You know, March Madness is always a good time for like, er, blah, bra, blah, yell about this or that. So they'll have another panel immediately after March Madness to fix, like, the softball world series, I guess. I kind of want to see David Baker in the same room as Trump. Okay.

Just so I can see him be like, oh. Just so we see it really is 5-11. Yeah, just so, well, you won't be able to tell. Well, because he'll come up to David Baker's nipples. We all come up to David Baker's nipples at best. He might graze the top of his collarbone if he's got those American Duchess ass pumps on. Actually, I want David Baker to come up with tears in his eyes saying to the president. So it finally happens.

The big strong man comes up to me and says, I'm in the pro football Hall of Fame. Donald Trump is not in the pro football hall of fame Yeah I am What time is this episode coming out? He might be Can you imagine how weird He would stand if he had to stand next to David Baker Right?

Because like whenever he has to stand to someone actually tall He's like contorting himself and like puffing his chest up Like he's being pulled up by a balloon Like if he's trying to compare himself to David Baker He's going to be like Mike Johnson is going to have to carry him I kind of can't believe this has never happened Like dirty dancing

Or maybe maybe sorry nope that's all it's in my brain now nobody I guess I guess this is why this has never happened because they are both I guess they have tried to keep it from happening

because this is a great propensity for both of them but what happens if you put him next to Portnoy in terms of tippy hillies they're still next to each other but which is again a mark against Portnoy well a mark against both of them

if we're being honest but like yeah that that doesn't a lot of odd posturing because Portnoy is going to need stilts to compensate but the big man is going to take that as a challenge and himself need to be standing on a staircase

and it'll just be escalating until they're both a tower of babble type thing. Yeah it's going to be like it's going to be like one of those mating bird videos from planet Earth where they're like kind of hopping back and forth and hooting and making weird noises. Which does sound like

Barstool content. This will probably happen at the UFC thing at the White House this summer. Wouldn't it be great if he dies and they still have to do that? J.D. Vance has to pretend to like UFC. Yeah. Hey, guys. J.D. Vance, Mr. 2000's indie hipster kid has to pretend he's into UFC. I mean, let me be clear.

I am very much looking forward to this man's death. I don't think it's going to make things appreciably better. But I would like to see this one instance. Yeah, I like it, by the way. Well, at least they got college football fixed first. Yeah. Yeah, they did. Yeah.

I love it when people want to... Thanks for doing that one on the way out, Padre. Yeah. Fix that and managed to replace Ayatollah Khomeini with Ayatola Kameney. Another fucking Nepo baby. Yeah. Got all the boats stuck. All the boats are hella fucking stuck.

And a thing that has been revealed, this has never happened in our lifetimes. It certainly happened in Spencer's is that when all the boats get stuck, all the cars get stuck, too. like Spencer as you know this happened in the 70s and like soon all the cars will be stuck that is a whole new fucking level of stuck man and at that point college football would be super fixed I mean to be clear I am old enough that when I was born my parents

traded me for several gallons of gasoline and no one was mad that's how much it cost you and JD might get along it's true we were both given away for material my parents that was a fine decision on the part of JD's mom. She gets too much shit for that. She was right to sell him for pills. We haven't really considered, by the way, that JD still could go through a power lifting phase.

Right? Like, he's from Ohio. He's already fully into his Spider-Man 3, like, guyliner phase. So, yeah. Oh, the gear. He's going to catch a symbiote? Oh, listen. JD's off in, oh. Oh, I was thinking.

Venom would hate that guy, man. Everything I have to say about that is in terms of service, violation probably. I was thinking a little symbiote we call Tremblown, baby. Yeah. Anavar. The first vice president to be on that shit,

like on gear. That would be Ohio's greatest accomplishment. What do you have? We had a chief executive who was on the gas. I think the main problem is because it wasn't around when Teddy Roosevelt was there, but like if it had been. Oh, if it had been.

Or Agnew. I'm remodeling On that gas Remodeling the house My hand Punching the walls down Because I said I couldn't I'll show hochy man

I'm gonna get on this gear Oh Nixon Oh God Yoked Nixon Yoked Nick That's the best part That's some metal gear shit If I've ever heard it man

Richard Nixon Takes off his Senator Armstrong Yeah takes up his suit To reveal he's made of metal or something We could have gotten a tumbler with a book deal if we'd come up with this idea like 10 years ago. You're getting fucking punched by Nixon. Like, damn, I should have taken more steroids.

Best part is that Nixon would be like, look, I'm finally benching 225. Gerald Forst just reping 315. Just reping 315. With his dick out. Off of cottage. Lifting in chinos. Right, off of like cottage cheese and three pieces of toast for breakfast today. And he's like, yeah, whatever, man.

Good job. I'm impressed. Which president-vice-president combo do you think smelled the worst? Oh, we got to go back. I mean, the current one allegedly is giving it a run for its money. The current one's going to smell so weird. It's possible

Trump Pence smelled worse, just because with Pence you got like old guy who... Pence looks like he smells like Hellraiser. Well, it probably smells a little like mayonnaise. Hellraiser mayonnaise. And like, like, he had to be washed by his wife with a hose every day

as we all know. And if she ever was busy, then it's just Straight hell-raiser mayonnaise. I am going to go all the way back to Andrew Jackson and Martin Van Buren. Oh, that's a strong pull. Because Andrew Jackson had like a gunshot wound that never fully healed. Spunker had a portal. He had a portal, right?

Like, he had a port. Like, they probably, when he was grumpy, they were probably like, just throw some peppermints in the port. Just plug him in. Yeah, like, oh. my mood suddenly elevated. So I have... Doubting Thomas is coming up, like he putting his figure in it. Like, I have no doubt that Andrew Jackson just smelled like a bag of assholes.

Yeah. Oh, he had the cheese thing too, so... And it's like brimstone. Yeah, and brimstone. And like... And like stale tobacco and... Yeah. The best our country has to offer.

And then Martin Van Buren was basically... in politics because he was described as the little wizard, not because of his legislative prowess or a strategic mind, but because you could not kill him with alcohol. Martin Van Buren

was a hamster. I don't know that was the thing wizards were commonly known for him. Well, it was magical. How much, consider this. In the 19th century, the early 19th century, his drinking ability was so amazing to his fellow... Oh, so they would ascribe it to witchcraft at that time.

Okay. Right. That they were like, this dude's magic. Why? He could house like a 98 pack. Like he was out, he was out just drinking cartons,

gallons. He was out just basically putting his barrel in the head and everyone else was dying. And he was like, all right, let's keep going. So he had to smell terrible. I don't know which of Grant's VPs

might have smelled the worst, but. Andrew Johnson. Well, with Grant, we have, some guy named Colfax and some guy named Wilson.

I don't know how these dudes smelled. Colfax looks stinkier to me. Grant is the big dog, the homie, of course, but the man liked to party, so the scent has to be factored here. Military bathing habits also have to be taken into a car. Yeah, yeah. McKinley Roosevelt, I'm guaranteeing.

That's a powerful, powerful combination. Especially under a wool suit? Oh, yeah. Oh, yeah. When did breathable fabrics enter the chat? Yeah, everyone before a certain year is going to be, Just, Nixon had to stink, but Eisenhower probably at least very clean. Yeah, I see.

Yeah, military. I think he's clean. Not like the stank-ass side of the other. I know LBJ smelled crazy. Eisenhower strikes me as a... Yeah. Like, often in just like, what a musk! What an inspiring musk!

Sir, you smell powerful today. He smells so strong! That's my dick. Why's your dick smell like galois? I do admire the French lifestyle. Like, LBJ once established a, he once made a display of dominance in front of a reporter by on his ranch, driving him around in his amphicar,

and paused in the woods after an unflattering profile or quote, just something LBJ didn't like. Could have been him breathing, right? And he opens the door to the car, walks out and takes a shit right in front of him, and then wipes his ass with some leaves. If a man is wiping his ass with leaves In the ear of our Lord, what, 1960?

Smelt terrible. But strong. Smelt fearless. Smelt like resolve. Yeah, that man's neck like ass. No doubt. Ass and peppermints, because that was the move, right? Like, fresh breath, okay.

Yeah, one peppermint. That'll do it. Yeah. Although maybe he used his body odor, like he used everything else. Maybe he was like, I will intimidate with my muscle. Yeah, I cast aura of mansomeness. Everybody just hanging around, I was like, this is the weirdest magic card ever.

Like all the old stories about like, and then LBJ walked into the room and told everyone to straighten up and they all did. Maybe it was just like, dude, we got to get out of here so we can breathe. Whatever he says, we'll do it. Just to fill it us out of this fucking room. He smells so bad. Honorable mention, by the way,

International category. Boris Yeltsin had to smell incredible. He had to smell amazing. That man, remember, that man was rescued by a homeless guy in Moscow when he fell into a river. And the homeless guy was like, oh, I'm going to rescue this guy who fell drunk into a river. He paddles over and it's Boris fucking Yeltsin. He's like, oh. I am Soviet hero now.

Like, Boris Yelsohn had to be like, you smell someone's drunk and then you look down the hall and oh, there he is. You know, it's not like walk into the room and you smell him. It's like, damn, there is a. an air of booze throughout this building. There is a shot of Yeltson with Clinton in the 90s, and Yeltsin hammered on stage. And Clinton is laughing. And part of it is Clinton attempting to normalize Boris's jollity,

attempting to cover for him. Clinton was trying to fuck him. Let's be real. Sure. I'm sure that happened if he wanted it to. At the same time, I think he generally thought it was funny. I got elected president.

Here's this guy. He's like nine sheets to the wind. Look at this guy who, you know, for, like at that point in history, it's like all of his, you know, blah, blah, blah has led to like, this is my nemesis on the world stage, right? Like, granted we were a few years past the peak of that,

but still, it was still lingering for a while. And it's like, this guy. This guy's trunk of fucking hell. Oh my God. This is great. Do you want to see me play my saxophone? just let it happen yeah hey listen name another world leader who was found drunk in the bushes after he tried to order a pizza okay the pizza thing does narrow it down it's very relatable

most relatable world leader Boris Yeltsin is the pizza really yeah didn't he bring pizza hut to russia was that him loved it so much he got trashed outside of it no that was gorbache it was gorbachev It was Gorbachev, Corchop. Yeah, Gorb is like, I love the Soviet Union. But one thing I love more is Pizza Hut. Which I'm going to argue that bridge the divide, like the real Rocky Four all along, it turns out, was Pizza Hut. So.

Yeah. If you can change, I can change, we can all get a supreme deep dish together. I had another thing I wanted to discuss, which was, it's a very important bit of recruiting news. this week. Four star cornerback. Jerry Outhouse. Wait, you're missing a part. Oh, which part am I missing?

You're missing something at the end there. In his name. Pardon me. Four star cornerback. Jerry Outhouse, Jr. There, let me tell you why this is important, because at some point in the timeline of this man's life, he will have occasion to say, please, Mr. Outhouse is my father.

Which is something that, I don't know how you match that sentence unless possibly you are Kevin and Silverberry Mujan's dad and you are getting to say, as we have said so many times on this program, these are my sons, Kevin and Silverberry. Yeah. Jerry Outhouse Jr., which he could have been of Gator. He could have been because he chose to, I don't mean to suggest that Coach Summerall doesn't have y'all moving in the right direction, but how do you miss on this? It hurts. I've got to be honest. It does.

This is like Nitro going to the wrong school, man. Why is it always fucking Georgia? Nitro. Excuse me. Outhouse is going to Georgia, right? Yes. By whose fucking authority does Georgia keep landing all these guys with potential personality? I don't like it.

Stop that. They certainly don't deserve them. Jerry Outhouse, Jr. Congratulations. That's all. It's not even because Georgia is a rival. Just go someplace. in so goddamn boring.

I mean, based on George's recent history, he's probably going to transfer if he doesn't start. That's everyone's history. That's everyone's history. So if you missed a chance at outhouse now, you may have a chance to get outhouse later. We don't have

anybody with a name close to that. We have we have Laganza Hayward. That's about as cool a name as we have right now. Is this for 27? Coming in August, Glacier. Hey, speaking of Glacier, we do have Titus Bullard, who is the son of Thaddeus Bullard.

No. Yes, yes. Bones crumbling. So we do have a wrestler's son on the team. And he fell. Yes. Another thing happened this week that was very weird to me, because, um, The people who are in charge of the world doing a great job, every one of them, doing flawless work.

For the next two weeks or so, if anybody would like to commit to Texas A&M, if anybody would like to come on down and sign the biggest, dumbest check they will ever get. With oil heading over $100, possibly to even $150 peak, no one is happier right now. than the boosters at Texas A&M. And for a lot of reasons. Yes. The world's going to hell in a handbasket. That can only mean one thing. Aggies up.

Aggies up. So if you've ever wondered whether there was going to be a $4 million long snapper in college football, if you ever wondered whether somebody would make $12 million to play right guard in college football,

the next two weeks are an open window, my friend. Go get that money. Go get that money. young men. Like it is it is a, I think this might be a thing that some people think is a surface level joke. No. About, about, um, Texas football programs and A&M in particular. It's not. It's really not that like so much energy money, um, goes into that this, this is actually a thing. Like, this is a real actual thing. No, for real. If you want to, I can graph it for you.

If you want to graph, the overall wins and recruiting rankings, Texas A&M versus, this is Stephen Godfrey verse chapter verse. If you want to graph it versus the price of oil in the Permian, it's a one-to-one. I'm pretty sure I have graphed this. I think I did it in the Simple 7. SMU as well, like literally, like the, the, their like power ratings score year-by-year versus oil. It's like, yeah. And that's like a banking.

It's a version of the blue chip rankings. This is the black chip rankings. Well, like, yeah, it's, it's, it's, it's, it's, hit, the history is just very, very funny. Let's put it that way. I also just want to note on the subject of Texas A&M that my Aggies are in the national title game in our COP 26th dynasty, including, including such results that I wanted to mention, just to brag a little bit, but also just to mention, I beat David Ubin in the stupidest game anyone has ever seen. That was incredible. That was insane. That was the most Arkansas shit I've ever seen.

That was more Arkansas than the actual Arkansas should I've ever seen. This happened 10 days ago, and the league discord are still talking about it. They Uvin and Vinini on their podcast. They had on Jim Mora, the actual Colorado State head coach, to discuss the ending of this A&M Arkansas game. And like him, Mora himself is like breaking down content from our video game, which was just hilarious to me. What do you think of oven's clock management? He does not a fan. He's like, oh, you're just mad.

You're coaching mad, aren't she? Look at you. If anybody would know from coaching mad, let me tell you. Yeah. Coach him said, I mean, if your DBs play like that, you might as well just blitz eight. And I'm like, this is hilarious, dude. Former NFL coach is talking about a video game. I won.

Like, I wasn't the star of the show. I wasn't the star of the show. And not a good way. Not a good way. For Christo ball slash Lanning-esque clock management, I found it extremely adventurous. I was grateful to be a part of it. This was, if you can go watch it, by the way, on David Ubbins Twitch stream,

which we will somehow provide to you. With two minutes to go, the score, I believe is, or a little over two minutes to go, the score is 4228. This is so Arkansas. 4228 Arkansas over A&M. And the final score. At this point, I dropped Gigi in the chat. I surrendered.

Yeah. And then I managed to score. I'm like, okay, whatever. It's not like I can run out the clock. Burn all my timeouts. And then up and has the ball with about 90 seconds left. And he could kneel out. A normal person would kneel.

A winner would keep attacking. He mercilessly... He mercilessly... He mercilessly... Just ran his shit. Just kept running his offense. And still could have won, if not four, with 30. 36 seconds left.

His running back got hurt, which meant there was an injury time out. There was an injury time out. He had to punt the ball back. The punt was perfect. I got bang, bang, Evan Bullock, former Louisiana Tech quarterback, dropped a beautiful button right in the basket back of the end zone for the absolute nonsense. Oh, but, Jason, you're still not winning. Of course I went for two.

You're still not winning, though, right? Yeah, you got to go for two. I went for two just to make it even crazier, got the dub. And next thing you know, him, Mora, is weighing in on it. I hope you dragged that. I hope you dragged that out too. I hope Vanini was like, I'm going to listen to it, but I hope Finini was like, so about that clock management.

Every game Ubin has played since Vinini has brought it up relentlessly. They're playing tonight in the semifinal to see who gets the Aggies in the title game. Actually, that'll be out by the time you hear this, folks. But go back and watch on one of their Twitch streams. I'm sure it was an excellent game. Yeah, see, this is offseason greatness. That's what that is. That's off-season greatness.

And Aggie greatness as well. Yeah. Aggie greatness, which, by the way, again. Aggie's benefiting from chaos, right? That'll tie these things together, right? Benefiting from Arkansas being Arkansas and from all the boats getting stuck. Yeah, I suggest the entire A&M roster go in the portal right now. Can you go in the portal?

Make them keep you. There is new portal, however. No, it's not open right now. You can't leave. You could leave campus. You could leave chaos. I ain't there. I mean, the portal's not real.

The portal's not a thing. There is no portal. There's no in the portal. I'm not on campus. Therefore, I'm even more not here than I would be in your so-called portal. So pay me to come back. You want me to go to class? Let's hear it.

Let's talk, talk. One-on. Right now, the entire straight-of-four moves is clogged with ships. Therefore. Yeah. Therefore, I'm going to need a little more. PlayStation money. If you got to do it in crypto, that's fine.

If you got to send me $2 million American in the form of Robux, that's fine. We can work it out. Aggie boosters look at what the fuck is that? Is that the shit my wife don't let my kid play? I got to figure out how to download this bullshit. So we make it to the Missouri State game? That's exactly what they were. And this is, by the way, how we get in two years.

We'll be like, hey, did you know A&M was triple paying? its players through a video game. In Wadaburger gift gift points in Robux in actual money

you name it. Just an IRS guy sitting there looking at it being like what the fuck am I looking at here? $78 million? For a wide receiver? Yeah. They went nine and four.

So much less funny if they were real good. I say real good like we didn't spend the first half of the season going, holy shit. Oh, I know. This team just went 11 and 0. This team just went 11 and 0. But nope, they went 9 and 4. Spiritually, that team still went 9 and 4.

God. The only good thing they got going on is me and the boat's getting stuck. Hey. Hey, keep them there. It's enough. Keep them there. I just saw one guy on Fox News. It's like, yeah, somebody should be brave and just pile that shit through there.

Just duck your fucking shoulder and... Just duck your, lower your shoulder and punch it through there. And I could just see some Aggie booster. I agree. Someone should try and do that. I want to see. It's dangerous. Some Aggie booster smoking two cigars sitting in a hot tub filled with hot bubbling champagne, dying slowly from the fumes.

going, no! Don't do it! Don't do it! I'll have to put water in this shit. It'll make me sick. Don't! It's dangerous. It's dangerous. They'll shoot your boat.

That's it. Just him going on Aggie's Politics Board typing with his golden gloves, right? Hold on, let me put on my golden posting gloves. Tell all them boats back up. Yeah. It's dangerous to proceed.

A sailor exercises caution. I heard there's dragons. It's another garbage can full of money. He just flies in through his window. God damn it, convert it to Robux. It's the currency tomorrow. How am I supposed to play these players? Fucking government's on the ass about the Robux.

Listen, we got to get to... Yeah, listen, we got to get to Tampa. We got to get to a New Year's Eve hole. We got to get to the second round. We got to get to nine. four, buddy. Come on. Get to that second round if we're lucky enough to play Boise State in round one. That's it.

Yeah. As long as I don't play anybody we can't beat. That's it. God, that really is it, isn't it? We got to take Texas into the fourth quarter this time. I love you, Texas, Anna. This is what that looks like. It's true.

That is, yeah. We wanted in the conference. Yeah, you sure. Did you, you didn't understand the family dynamic before you came in. It was going awesome before. Everyone in the SEC is going to be so supportive. Die! Die!

Hey, we're way more supportive of them than we are of certain other late entrance to the league. I mean, at least we acknowledge them, right? They're a great fit. Great fit. No, no. That is never. They're a phenomenal fit. They're a terrific cultural fit.

By which I mean, they're crazy. Yep. I love that. You're like, what am I doing? Making fun of them for going to eight and four. Yeah, making fun of them being spent. Yeah. I'm making fun of them for me.

Spending five minutes making fun of a team that we spent the first half of last year saying, holy shit, this is the best tech standing. Right, right, right. Still true. Which was true? Well, like all last season saying, I don't think the other foot, the other shoe is going to fall. I'm starting to think it might not. This really might, they might not.

Oh, they did. Yes, the power, the power prophecy. This is what love looks like. I'm pretty sure, I'm pretty sure that Jason, Holly and myself immediately before the combo of the A&M game and playoff game said the most psychologically shattering way for them to finish the season would be to lose the last two games. And lo! You are like us. Derogatory, but also.

Derogatory, yeah. You're in here now. I mean, playing Miami's defense at noon at 11 local. with like all the pressure of a century on you. Yeah, that fucking sucks. It's rough, dude. Does it suck? It sucks so bad.

Miami's porn stars are taking over your stands. Yeah. You have to pretend you don't know who they are. A Florida fan doesn't have to pretend that. That's the whole course. That's all, yeah, no, it's fine. It's a taxonomy. It's a taxonomy.

It's a taxonomy. Yeah. To be honest, the Tennessee fan doesn't have to pretend to not know who that is. We don't have the internet that good. I recognize the VHS stars. Yeah. Oh, I've seen that one in the magazines. Yeah.

Vanessa Del Rio. What a woman. Yeah. But Texas A&M, they have to pretend to not know who she is. I'd be like, who is that woman. Who is that hullabahoo? Yeah. Miss Rav's the only lady for me.

I call her mother. And that's not weird. At all. Notice we do all of this, and at no point are we like, you're not in the family. No. And like every A&M fan who listens to this, you know, you know. They get it. You know.

You say all this shit about yourself. You know. You know. Also, you're happier that we're saying these things about yourself. Yeah. Hey, listen, on other shows, they're calling you a little brother here in proud Atlanta fashion. We are saying, come here, twin.

And we mean it literally. Oh, hey, twin, footballs shattered you again, mentally and physically. Oh. Go Falcons. Oh, Jesus. I forgot about the Falcons. I forgot about the funny Falcons news, not the other Falcons news. Which part?

Yeah. I didn't find out until I had been, I feel real bad. I had been like hollering at Godfrey for several minutes about unrelated topics yesterday before I saw the two of shit. Oh, yeah. I mean, whatever. No, we got two skinny quarterbacks. Whatever.

Nothing matters. The old guy's gone. Got two skinny guys. Yeah. You got Kurt Cousins. We might get, whatever. Wait, no, we don't. We might get our red helmets.

We might get red helmets, though. So, we don't really give a fuck what the roster looks like. We're going to be pretty. What did Charles say he was hoping for in anime filler season? I like it I think that's a pretty good set of goals sure to it

I mean whatever he shouldn't be playing football hand the ball to bejan who gives a shit you can't really you can't really shit on the Falcons for getting to it now you can shit on the dolphins for just like yeah they're the ones

they're the ones who literally as a fan of the dolphins the Dalons have a hundred and fifty dollars in million dollars in dead money right now so that's the comedy team We're like, ah, Charlie Weiss, hold our beer. Which, by the way, if you go back and tack that to, go back and look at the dolphin scores for the player satisfaction surveys that leaked.

And they all gave the organization an A. Yeah. It's a one-year deal for Tora. Who cares? I love this. Unfortunately, the dolphins are that example in the player's happiness survey where you look at it and go, maybe they shouldn't have stuff that nice.

Maybe the carrots and stick system is broken. here. All the money is going into that? Yeah. Should be going into tackling. Yeah. That's exactly.

I think you need some new facilities. I think you need a football factory. No more no more cookies until you learn how to tackle. And we sleep on how difficult it is to focus or be normal if you are. Like imagine you at 22, 23.

You're, you barely understand how to function as an adult period. And for some of us, that remains true. But for most people at 22, 23, we're kind of all at that same level. You get a lot of money. And then they move you to the one city in America where one cannot live normally.

What time do you wake up? 11. Which 11? Yeah, which 11? I don't know. Yeah. Yes. Yes.

We'll see. What's dating like? No one dates. Okay. Okay. So do you still hook up with people all the time? All the time. Kind of tired of it.

Yeah. How? No one knows. What do you need? Money. Well, what do you need to have money here? Nothing. Don't need a job.

Nobody has a job, right? So surely there's like nice, cool public places to hang out. No, you need to pay a lot of money to sit in a room. And what happens? They throw naked people at you and champagne. And you're 22. That's what the dolphins suck. Right.

No, like everyone who learns to be a professional there learns to be a Miami person. And it's just not a normal life. It's not. The good Dolphins teams of the 70s were full of 36-year-old men. Yeah, yeah. People who are like a bastion of youth. Earl Morrow was 44 years old.

Was Larry Zonka out here bawling out? No, because he was too old and tired. He'd headbutt people for three hours and then fall asleep in a yard. By Larry Zonka's tired. Scrodom. That sounds like one of those great Odin's Raven Oaths. So there it was Larry Zonka's getting bottle service. Even as a rookie Mercury Morris

looked like he was 44 years old. He looked like he had 17 children. Yeah, yeah. We need tired people is what we need. I think the answer was cigarettes because it aged all those guys rapidly so they were too tired to stay at the club all night. So they could go undefeated despite being in Miami. That's a local industry right there now. We could

see them. Stop vaping and have your football Players smoke cigarettes. Take the dolphins back to sit. Dorrell, I know you're listening. Just have it. Listen. We need to bring it all back. Have cigarettes.

Stop your little, like your $90 fruit vape with, it's got eight words in it, and one of them's raspberry. You know, let's stop that shit, buy some cigarettes. And you'll fix it. Camel Crush. You hear me? Yeah, yeah.

A handful of cigarettes. It'll do both for you. Menthol and reg. You want to unfil, your truth about this franchise. You need some unfiltered. Get some parliaments, baby. Yeah. No, we got to do hookah. No, you need cigarettes. That's it. What you need is this. You need cigarettes and alimony. That's what you need. All these guys go down to Miami. You need crushing alimony payments. Cigarettes. Just bulk bags of American spirit, loose tobacco in a rolling

machine. You need so much debt that you have to keep playing football. That's the tobacco industry never contact us for ads in all these years. Like, I'm kind of hurt. Across all of my podcast, I would just like to say to the tobacco industry, I think smoking looks very cool and I'm for sale. I think the thing about it is it's so classic,

right? And so classy. And just makes everyone look awesome. And unfortunately, there's not a single cigarette brand that I can recommend because I haven't been offered the right information, if you know what I mean, about which one looks the coolest.

and taste the healthiest. Harkening back to advertisements of your, I need to know which one gives me the freshest toasted flavor, the cool menthol-inspired flavor that I'm looking for. Which one that I legally can't call food, but is still nevertheless recommended by doctors everywhere. Which one is the one that will give my middle school or the pep they need to get through the day?

And make them look like they're 38. exactly the dolphins just need to be older and more weighed down with mortal concerns because a 23-year-old in miami is essentially an astronaut who's naked from the waist down the dolphins just need to be like the um the senior pGA tour of football like you know what i mean like if you you retire you retire and you go to the dolphins Travis kelsey should be on the dolphins he should retire yes also he should 100% as roger sherman put it if somebody writes a song about how good your dick is. You should retire.

Like, you could play football, or you could go spend 30 seconds dancing on stage while she sings about your dick. Either of these two things can be your job. What if something happens to it, man? You gotta protect your asses. What if your dick gets hurt playing football, you fucking moron? I know which part of you is most valuable on the field of play right now. It's literally the most valuable thing.

You got going, man, get off the fucking football field. Didn't she compare it to a fucking sequoia? Yeah. Mr. Dictree is out here playing football at his big age, risking life and limb, when he could just go stand there while she sings. Yeah. Dumbass. It's pretty stupid.

I bet there's air conditioning on that bus and everything. What the fuck is wrong with you? I love, like, the only way to, like, slander this guy is like, oh, God, he's so fucking handsome. What an idiot. His girlfriend's the most famous person in the world. Moron. His dick's fantastic.

He sucks so bad. You will see people go, but their conversations aren't great. Buddy. You think that woman needs a lot of conversations? You think she's in this for the conversation? I think it's his mind, mainly. That might technically be true. I, listen, back in the 80s.

Everybody loves golden retrievers. Okay, here, how about this? Let me hear me out. Nobody wants a smart dog. You want a dog who's smart enough to, like, do tricks, which, okay, here we go. You might think you want a smart dog. You don't. A smart dog is going to get in trouble.

Yep. A dumb dog, you're going to be like, if you do that, the sky will fall. Oh, shit. I better not do that. You want a dog that's going to get stuck in a corner. You want a dog that gets almost booted from the University of Cincinnati. And then has his brother literally punched through drywall to stop him from smoking weed after he has already been kicked off the team.

Literally punching through drywall. You want a guy who makes Jason Kelsey look like the smart brother. That's who you want. A guy whose job was headputting. I dated Wallace Sean for his body. No, you didn't. That's not what you did? You didn't date Travis Kelsey for his brain.

You're not locking that up for that. You're locking that up because you want... She ain't saying about how smart he is. That's your... She wrote, listen, she wrote your copy right there. I'm just reading the branding. And good for you. If you could just eat, whatever, whatever.

Literally, they're putting Travis Kelsey out to stud. Poor man with generational wealth and a famous dick. Aw. They're putting that man out to stud. They're like, who's that bull? I guess I should probably call his dick generational too at this point. She was an auctioneer. Prize bowl, million dollars.

And he's like, oh, I'm going to go play football. What do you do? Do you know how? Put on a little shiny, Tuxedo and go dance on TV, man. Yeah. Get out of here. Put on a little top hat, you know?

Like one of those, like... Put one on the dick. Yeah, put a top hat. She'll love it. If it can fucking fit in a top hat. Stove pipe. You need a damn Abe Lincoln hat for that thing, apparently. Call my dick the Great Emancipator.

Hey, you'll notice that eternal... I can't wait to hear where you're going with this. That never... Why did your eyes? lit up when I said that. That never, listen, how long is the ERAs tour gonna be? How long is the Eros tour? I don't

know. I don't know. Here comes Travis Kelsey's junk. The tour's over. Tour's over. Going to have something else to focus on. Oh, like once he's finally like, I'm done playing football. She's like, I'm done dancing. No, no, no. That tour ended I'm going home. They hooked up.

That's what I'm saying. Like, that hooked up. And she's like, I have to devote my full energy to something else. To a songwriting. that's right hey listen recovery is an important part of workouts that's right it is and she recorded a whole song about it travis you idiot stop playing football stop playing football you don't have to do this listen you don't you have some good ideas but only spending six months a year getting her back blown out by a guy with a good job was not one of them yeah come on she It's the full, you want to talk about the goddess arc?

12 months a year of having that St. Bernard of a man. You can treat him like a dog. He'd be fine with it. He might be happier. You sleep on the big fluffy bed in the corner. It's got cedar shavings in it. Okay. Smells nice over here.

When that man lays down, it goes, doff. He's hit. He's hit, he's at noise making age, where when he sits down, right, right. You can't keep playing football once you're at age. Yeah, understand. What's standing up has an announcement, it's time to stop playing football. That's it.

You need to go to your trainer. And you'd be like, listen, I need you to get it ready for the season. Okay, so we're going to do all your football stuff? No, no, no, no. No, this is humping season. We need cardio. You need to get you ready for running season. these haunches up.

Yeah, listen. He does appear to have substantial haunches. I got to make this pre-nup sing. So what you need to do is get me in shape. That's it, yeah. Like, it's time to, it's time to truly lock in your value, like, right now. So stop playing football. Hey, attention high-value males.

That would be an amazing. Okay, this is the only athlete podcast. The only additional athlete podcast, I will permit. We have enough already. Some of them are very good. but we need this one. Hey, I will go on the Kelsey's podcast. A lifestyle show for the high value male.

We will all go on this podcast and we will all sell him. Urge him to quit playing football. We will urge him to stop playing football. For the good of the species. Yeah, we would. Have you seen how strong your genes are? Yeah, exactly. Birth rates are declining.

You need to get on this. We need the aliens to be like, yeah, Earth, it's full of like thousands of millions of people who look like Travis. Because for future generations, don't you want more of things? him. Don't you want the handsome buffoon planet? Handsome, well-hung buffoon planet. That's what we're working here for. Yeah, because right now it's like nerds inherit

the earth. You don't want that. They're only. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. You want someone you could put on the line of scrimmage or split out wide. That's correct. Yeah. Right? I want. I want somebody who will, who you, you hike the ball. He ambles six yards to where no one is.

No one has ever covering him. They throw him the ball. He spends about four minutes turning around like a battleship and he gains three more yards. Every fucking play. No one ever, he's invisible in his fucking drags. He's like drag. Off the line. Yep. He just disappears and he

reappears with the ball in his hand. Gains two more yards. I bet that's honestly. Like I bet that's why this marriage lasts forever because even if he cheats on her he's got a cloaking device, right? Yeah, he'll get away with it. He'll just disappear. She'll be very still.

Exactly. You're like, is there a woman? having sex with my man there? No, there's no man there, look. Within six yards he's totally invisible to everyone but Patrick Mahomes. They're just a big block of invisible invisible shape. Yeah.

Patrick Mahomes just just over there like invisibly giving somebody the thumbs up. Tagging it, dude. You're tagging it. Nice. What are you pointing at, Pat? Don't worry about it. I'm sorry.

Don't worry about it. Yeah, no, no, don't worry about it. Patrick Malmes. It has a little bit of Andrew Luck voice. I never thought about it until this minute. It's Andrew Luck meets Kenny Powers. Yeah. It's like that exact voice.

It's Muppet with a milk allergy. Yeah. And he's given the thumbs up to Invisible Travis Kelsey. Great dick and buddy. You know that's happened. Like you got to walk in it. Yeah, I know that has happened. You walk into Travis's house and he's just doing stuff.

You're just like, you're going to go take a shower. Naked. Just walking. What'd you do? Got clothes off. Fugged Forgot to equip clothes. Yeah,

forgot to, yeah. Inventory bowl. This is the right load out for today because it's over 40 degrees outside. I don't want to sweat.

Here's my daily carry. Gold chain. He can't do an EDC. He's logging too much dick around. Sexy podcast business. Kelsey business. Kelsey's penis. What is that?

He's penis. breeding dude big old dog never have a job please stop playing football sir you're dick to baby please stop playing football for you hurt yourself and mess up your penis waste of your big penis yeah just

oh yeah so so I have been thinking about really cool teams and that is why for the channel 6 newsletter What do you mean by cool teams? I mean cool teams like we don't have a system in college football to really recognize

when a team's just cool. I feel like that's what the full cast specializes in. That's what Channel 6 specializes in. We just want to celebrate teams that mattered a lot and were cool and didn't win shit, right?

There's a lot of cow on this list, isn't there? There's a lot of cow on this list. There's a shitload of cow on this list. It was hard to find the most Cal team of all Cal teams in the 21st century, but I think I did.

You can read more. more about that at channel dash 6.ghost.io. That's channel dash 6.6.govst. I. That is the newsletter that Holly and I lovingly craft two things a week for you every week. Yes, even through the off season about sports, life, whatever we're reading, consuming. You get that for free, but if you pay, you get all the stuff we can write about sports in every format that we work in. So that's channel dash 6.ghost.io. If you're already a subscriber, hey, thank you for your patronage. May you find the Travis Kelsey in whatever configuration, gender, and arrangement you need in your life to have the big, dumb, indestructible oaf of your dreams, okay, male or female. In the meantime, if you haven't subscribed, get on board.

Maybe we'll help you find that person. Maybe we'll help you find. What are you promising? I don't do that. I'm promising nothing. Just saying it might happen. Okay. Well, maybe is a very broad word, but okay.

Anything. We'll scout. You will not scout, no, but anything's possible. You know, you're not going to do that. You don't even play golf in time. Channel 6 is not a date on surface. If you subscribe to Channel 6 and I go, man, they seem cool and sturdy. You're going to pair up their email addresses?

I might just take a picture and send it to. Yeah. It's a cool and sturdy person. It might be interested. Sturdy. You two are built strapping youth together if you were to copulate. Folks, Patreon.com slash shutdown fullcast funds this program,

which is well worth your, your money, I would say, based on everything you've heard in the past hour and a half. Can you believe we've given all this to you for free, all this premium content and top analysis of today's Topps College Sports News? But wait, there's more. It's over on our patreon.com where we've sorted out the After Dark episodes with the non-after Dark episodes. There's a little button on there.

You can mash to see that go whichever one you want. And we got one we're working on for, you know, I don't know at some point soon. We don't even know when we're going to record it. So how in the hell would we know when we're going to publish it? But, you know, when it's ready, you'll get it. Once it's piping hot out the oven, it's $4 to get all the shit that's on there, plus all the shit that's coming up. I say that as if we have this massive log of plans,

but you'd hate it if we did because that wouldn't be very us. But, you know, shit will happen. So get in line. Also, the until Saturday newsletter, I write it for the athletic. It's about college football. It's good. This Friday I'm probably going to do the old annual bit about, like, what if football had a 68 team bracket?

You know, that'll, that'll internet. posting classic. This is March. Yeah, I'm going to do it with some, like, shitty paintbrush graphics and posted at NYTimes.com, you know, just because, like, I can blog NYTimes.com. It's fun. I think it's finally time somebody did some real time. I think it's cool.

It's about time you got drunk with power over there. I mean, like, yeah, it's, you know, it's fun to post MSPaint shit at NYTimes.com. It just is. So I'm going to do that. It's a newsletter. It's free. It's about college football. I'll try to have a little bit of fun.

Keep you up on all the shit. And, uh, and yeah. Hey, Serber, is your band still doing stuff? Yep. Yeah, man, we're fucking so cool. I'm trying right now to pull up all the dates that we have coming up, which I know are, I'm going to get to. And when I edit this, you'll never hear that I did all of this spinning up my wheels. But you can see us March 21st at Gas Hill Drinking Room with Eye Anomily and Janus 14.

in Winston-Salem, North Carolina. Also in Winston-Salem, North Carolina, on April 17th, you can see us at Monstercade with Zombie, Drath the Luck, caught off guard. Good God. And ourselves, we're the other band.

And then... This is some band-ass names, man. Yeah, some real band-ass names. May 2nd, we're playing at the Den in Winston-Salem with L.E.K. And caught off-guard again. And then we're playing the Winston-Salem Pride Festival

on June 13th. That'll be downtown. We'll be on the stage on Trade Street. Don't know what time yet, but you should just come out for the whole parade and festival and just celebrate with us that day. June 26th, we'll be at the Flatiron in Greensboro with Orp Patrol and Rabbit Fighter. So that's all the stuff coming up. We're also finishing our first record.

We just finished the first song on our first record. And we'll have new music out really, really soon. Also listening to Hand in the Dirt and Phantom Island. you can subscribe to that, Phantom Island. I just produced that. I'm not on that, but Stephen Godfrey

and Ryan Nanny are along with others from time to time. Hell yeah, I am so proud of you for doing an album. Like, it's just a complete one thing.

Completing one thing is an accomplishment. It's really hard. If anybody's listening wants to make my second album for me so I can just like play on the album and sing on it

and not have to record it and produce it and do all that, my DMs I think are open on Blue Sky. So yeah, and Instagram too. So you just want to message me.

Because I'm working really fucking hard. You want to roll in like an 80s country singer? Right? I'm just, hey, turn that bitch on. George Jones about to make a hit. Yeah, I'm just doing the thing right now where I wrote every song and produced it and engineered it and mixed it. The only thing I'm not doing is mastering. And I came up with that and I've found the artwork.

And so I just, yeah, if somebody wants to help me not do that part so that I can only produce the full cast and things like that, that would be super cool. Once again, DMs are open. I can't pay you. Hey, I'm going to write you some songs, man. I got some tunes in mind. I'm going to write you some songs. I heard a bunch of saying about Mario Car.

You can have it. You country song about Mario Car? I did. There you go. Yeah. Hey, speaking of March Madness, should we do a bracket episode next week? I realize we're still recording this episode, but I don't have a topic in mind. But I was sort of floating that because...

We'll think of something. Well, I was saying maybe if, you know, listeners have any good ideas, you can suggest them. What would you like us to see bracketed? What should we bracket? I don't know. Email us. Shut down, fullcast at gmail.com. Also, I was looking at homefield apparel.com at their Texas A&M stuff.

And, like, there's some really great shit on here. There's a Sarge who's flying through the air, dunking Sarge, flying through the air, got the Tomahawk basketball cockback. That's a good one. There's Miss Rev stuff. There's one where she's wearing a cowboy hat and bandana. Very sexy. And dignified. Dignified, I want to emphasize.

There's a Miami, Texas. to say a new playoff game shirt. I'm guessing that would only be popular. You've got to sing the whole story, man. You got to sing the whole story. That's okay. We're here in defeat and victory. SWC champs shirt.

That's Primo shit right there. Anything that's got the SWC logo on it, man. Which I've always wondered, like, you're just allowed to use that? Can we? Yeah, I mean, like, Connor or Josh, if you're listening to this, like the SWBC logo, did you have to pay someone to use that? Can you just put it anywhere, you know?

Because, like, it doesn't exist. Does a Big 12 own that? I don't know. I don't know. I think, listen, I think everybody should be able to use the SWC logo. You can't just put it anywhere. We're not all Travis Kelsey. As for Travis Kelsey's alma mater, let's see.

Let's get a look here at the University of Cincinnati stuff. It's not Cincinnati University, right? I'm not saying it back. No, it's you see. Yeah, it's UC. Okay, few. Because he knows you see it. Wow.

You'd have tens of people mad at you. We're all going barricaddy here in Cincinnati. And it looks like it was drawn in the 60s. That's great. Yep, this is another fine collection. Three pages of it here at homefield apparel.com. To purchase all these things. They're our sponsor.

And homefield apparel.com is their website. I'm sorry. I'm just still scrolling through all the good stuff. that I'm looking at and that I would like to wear. Can I point out a fun game for listeners if they maybe are thinking, you know, I've got a lot of home field stuff already, especially for my school. One game that I like to play sometimes on the homefield apparel.com is go to the

school's tab and then just go down, close my eyes, and go back and forth my mouth until I land on a letter. I'm like, okay, I'm getting somebody in the E's or F's or G's or H's and then just do a little circle on my mouse and whoever it lands on, Oh, I changed letters on accident and I'm getting a UC Santa Cruz shirt. Okay. That's just a fun little game so that you can take a little bit of the, a little bit of the, you know, daunting nature because there are so many schools.

You don't know, I don't know who to get one for. I want a random school, but I don't know who. You know, I just played the randomizer game server and it gave me Oklahoma State and there's a shirt, it says pistol patty and it's got like a cowgirl holding up to, I don't know what she's holding. It might be bottles or bells or something else. I don't know. But she looks really badass and cool.

Yeah. Full proof works 100% of the time. Yeah. Yeah, he's right. Go to homefield apparel.com. Scroll around and give them money. Yeah. The theme of podcast business, scroll around and give people money.

Bada-ba-da-ba-da-ba-da-ba-ba-ba-ba-ba-ba-ba-ba-ba-ha.