Shutdown Fullcast - SACK TIME! - Week 6, Recapped

Episode Date: October 7, 2019

Spencer, Holly, and Jason enjoyed Iowa-Michigan the way they didn't know it was intended to be consumed: entirely via Michigan radio broadcast. (Ryan just watched it on TV, like an idiot.) That's why most of this episode is Midwestern chortling and shouting, even when we talk about: - The ACC embracing nonsense as a conference identity - The Tennessee squirrel - Whether or not Pitt can fire the superweapon again, or even fired it at all - Auburn-Florida - Whatever the hell the Pac-12 is doing Learn more about your ad choices. Visit megaphone.fm/adchoices Learn more about your ad choices. Visit podcastchoices.com/adchoices

Welcome to the shutdown fullcast. I'm Spencer Hall. You're listening to the Internet's only college football podcast. We're about to do something that we like to do, which is recap the week in college football. I would like to say, though, that, you know, half of all teams lost this week. And there's only one phrase to capture the sorrow for all of y'all who managed to lose this week. And that's, you hate to see it. You absolutely hate to see it.

Started this too high. I'm going to regret it. Oh, God. It's good because people are going to think that's me and not Holly. And I'm the one with the haunting falsetto. That's the iron. When Cincinnati tweeted that, I was a little worried that they had designed it so that the castle was going to explode. I thought it was going to like, yeah, I had some real, real suspicious thoughts.

You could put the bear cat into some pretty not-safe-for-work situations. Just look at the mascot's face and tell me you couldn't. It could have gone way worse than it did, right? Yeah. This is in reference, by the way, to the University of Cincinnati's football account. after beating UCF soundly might I add on Friday night and thus

giving UCF fans just you know one more thing to talk about on the internet Cincinnati football tweeted out the Disney intro from any of their fine content products you know the one yeah where it pulls back

it shows the great castle in front of Lake Buena Vista It's got this beautiful little glow to it. Yeah, and they're playing When You Wish Upon a Star, and then at the very end, in the Disney font, what does it say, in a gorgeously rendered Disney

cursive font, like the handwriting of Walt Disney himself, it says you hate to see it. Yeah. It was so beautiful. And the reason it hit so hard is because as noted, UCF fans have been talking

quite a bit over the last two years. Much of it justified, much of it justified, but portions of it. Much of it justified, all of it annoying. Portions of it directed at people who really can't do anything about the issue. And so that was sort of the reason that everyone appreciated this so much, because like it's no fun at all if LSU takes UCF down a peg. But Cincinnati, sure, that's kind of punching diagonally, I guess. And then did this stop UCF fans from talking on? No, they turned from trying to topple the evil empire to snitch tagging Walt Disney to say, hey, you should do a copyright stuff.

Oh my God, I miss that part. They're in Orlando. He is their undead god. Hey, they stuck their head out the window and said, hey, zombie Walt Disney, you got to get in here and look at this meme, these bastards from Ohio did. Man, if I wanted to see a bunch of sad people screaming Walt, I'd start streaming lost over again. Yeah, yeah, ABC in-house joke. Count it.

They just opened up the freezer and tapped on his glass. Hey, Walt. Hey, you should know this is going on. Excuse me, cryogenically frozen head of Walt, sir. I like that we just have him like Lenin in the middle of the town square, right, in a glass case. in Orlando. I mean, they have to zap him back to life every 20 years so they can retain all the old copyrights. Yeah, that's right. Like, this is a known passion of undead Walt Disney. So the Bearcats will be hearing from his also undead lawyers. Now, here's the problem. Walt Disney's going to hear about this and he's like, are you kidding me? Ohio is our greatest source of

income. We are, we are, Orlando is the Europe of Ohio. I mean, Epcot You got all those folks fooled I sent my Yeah, hell yeah, I've been to Morocco I sent my son to UC Yeah, I've been to Morocco I got crokeys to prove it

I guarantee you there are Ohio State students Who went to Disney World for a week And said that they studied abroad You know they all came back Like talking with their hands And kissing people on both cheeks Saying cheers a lot I love the idea of backpacking across Florida

Because the only trail all the way across Florida Florida is, is, it's, it's the long trail where other long trail people are like, don't do that shit. It's like half a day in. You're like up to your shoulders in black mud with mutant turtles and like crabs with six heads and like, and there's like three people, you know, and they're all your best friends now because they're waiting for you to die so they can eat you. I know that some of you out there things think that crabs with six heads makes it sound like we're trying to make it fun. We're not.

No, I have a really new appreciation for French fries ever since I went to checkers on study abroad, so... I wanted my son to see something that was, you know, a little more cosmopolitan, so I sent him to UCF. I could have sent him to the University of Dayton, like everyone else. But no, I sent him to UCF. And you know what? He's been to so many nations since then.

Wait a goddamn second. Spencer, have you even been to Asia? Or did you just fall asleep in World of China a lot? No comment. Remember, you have more than one option there in terms of Walt Disney. Remember, because for a while, there was a theme part owned by the People's Republic of China in Orlando. Splendentine China! How does it always come back to this?

Listen, I never get tired of telling people about Splendid China because they never believe it. The best part about the Splendid China Wikipedia page is near the end when it's like the, the park sat abandoned for several years and was subject to multiple thefts and vandalism incidents. Like they went and asked Todd the Vandal about exactly what he did. Todd the Vandal. Todd the Vandal, UCF's mascot. That's actually the name. It's not, it's not Nitro. It's, yeah, it's Todd the Vandal.

He stole that night outfit. That man doesn't know any night shit. yeah man i carjacked a guy at medieval times got this sweet night outfit out of it i i killed a transformer and i wear his skin i think i think you mean he steed jacked him wow medieval times yeah by the way they beat the crap out of him it was uh i mean you're you're saying this for a three point victory yeah no they hammered him like like no since he did that thing where uh UCF was not going to get more than 30 points. They're going to make a bunch of mistakes.

Every single hit was going to hurt real bad. And they were going to run the hell out of the ball and keep them off the field. Which, to-da, they did. Dylan Gabriel had three turnovers. UCF kind of looked pedestrian. And you know what Luke Fickle looked like? Luke Fickle looked like a man. He looked like a man.

A man in full. A man in full search of another job. Is that me saying Ryan Day has a fat face? Hell yes. That's exactly Ohio State You might have hired the wrong guy Because you know who the guy

You know who the guy who's still got his cardio You know who the guy Who can like walk right in the octagon And probably put up a passable effort In a fight Yeah you didn't hire him I bet Ryan Day Strictly elliptical machine at this point

Luke fickle Combat Ready Do I get to say that Because I have an enormous head Shit yeah I do Luke fickle is like Ryan all day Yeah

you listen here Ryan Day Ryan Day and Knight Luke Fickle is new day I don't care what Dana White says I'm ready So Friday was an exciting day We had That happened

And at the same time Snoop Dogg was becoming the chancellor of Kansas University I think Because he had brought his acrobatic friends Which Jeff Long interpret when jeff long former playoff

chairman current feet pornographer on Twitter yeah since when is jeff long not into eroticism soft core softball feet pornographer they didn't look that soft to me yeah I was going to say

for that shit you gotta go into Missouri brother Kianz is strictly a cinemax and below kind of economy when Jeff Long heard the word Snoop dogs acrobatic entertainers he I guess he was

literally picturing gymnasts like I don't know like he was picturing like the trampoline dunk guys Snoop Dog is very tall did he think they were going to climb him like some sort of maypole that sounds pretty good we should ask I will say we should write him a letter and ask I would be real happy to make

fun of Jeff Long all night but one I don't think anybody really wants to hear that two and two I will say this it's like 90% on Jeff Long Snoop did like uncensored versions of everything

It's 2 a.m. Sorry, was he told not to? There's no clean songs at 2 a.m. I know, I know, but like they didn't hash this out, right? Like if that's on the university. If that's what Kansas wanted, right? They should have been like, have we ever listened to one of his songs? Like one.

They're like, I saw Soulplane. I saw him with Martha Stewart, a delightful man. Yeah, how did this happen? And, like, did they see his cooking show? I think he was available at the price point that they were looking to do. You think they just picked him, like, we picked Dave Wanstead for a cameo, like, 40 bucks? Yes, yes, I do. And, like, I don't think, I don't think Snoop Dogg is, like, absurdly cheap or anything,

but I think he's cheaper than getting somebody a little bit more contemporary. At the triangulation of recognizable and affordable? Yes, I think that's right. And also, like, game for it. Yes, the most key word is willing, because if we know anything about the last 25 years of pop culture, it's that Snoop is willing to appear at your event. No matter what it is. Yeah.

Will you give him a jersey? I know we give Drake hell for this, but Snoop. Snoop is right up there in terms of I will wear anyone's sports uniform. Snoop has been doing it for longer, just with less, uh, he cycles through the jerseys less obviously, right? Is it that Snoop doesn't pretend to be a lifelong fan of the team and live and die with it? Like Drake? I think it's more he has just a slow burn about it, which, yeah, that also is a hobby of his. Snoop is very transparent about like, hi, I'm wearing this jersey because this school paid me to do that.

Whereas Drake is just like, oh, I want to be a basketball superstar so bad. I want to be, I want to be awesome. Let me be awesome. Coach Cal. Can I just go ahead and suggest one other theory as to why Snoop can freely float from one team to another without really lingering too much. It could be due to a lack of focus. I don't, hmm?

It could be due to sort of a general. Maybe he's got that glaucoma. I hear that. Aisiness or fuzziness about his. I hear certain medications can help with that. It's like, the best part about this whole thing, we've left out that Snoop Dog also had like a handheld money cannon that he sprayed the crowd with dollar. They weren't athletes.

investigation that's the best part is that this was this was kansas's hey basketball season is starting celebration at florida they call it midnight madness they call it at a bunch of other places i don't know if that's what they call it at kansas really doesn't matter but to celebrate the start of basketball season like what within a week of being under major NCAA investigation and possible sanction hell yeah this is what they did they were like stripping in cash. I am honestly surprised that Rick... Is it possible that they took the correct lesson from the most recent round of NCAA basketball

sanctions? And we're like, lean in, bitches. I am surprised Rick Patino did not apparate at this event once he heard that there were exotic dancers in cash. Maybe he did for a few seconds. I was going to say, it only takes him a few seconds to come. He just popped right in. Oh, God, dude.

Popped right out. You didn't even... It is a... It is the Sabbath, man. So the other thing going on Friday night that was not broadcast anywhere was at our Charlotte show, we had the world's angriest ACC fan described by some as the fine bomb caller of ACC fans, bum rush the stage, which you can kind of hear at the end of the audio. By the way, the audio is awesome.

Everyone says it's bad. They're liars because you can hear people not only in like the... gotten spoiled real recently you can hear people who are not even in our room you can hear a screaming wedding party like down the hall that's fucking great audio if you want bad audio go listen to our Atlanta show true Norwegian black metal of yeah football podcast y'all like but everybody complaining about this audio is new y'all ain't in game shape it's it helps to listen to the audio if you pretend that you are daredevil right when he becomes daredevil and all sound is overwhelming that's the experience yeah you're welcome it's a robert it's a robert it's a robert

Albert Altman movie, really? It's like open mics, layer dialogue. It's not for the, it's not for the beginner, but you know what? It's also not for the slow. You got, you got, this, this podcast, we got a speed limit and a speed minimum. You got to keep up. Martin Scorsese loves our podcast. Yeah, he said, he said, he did. He said, I wish I hadn't deleted all my tweets because that means I deleted the one that said Shutter Island is Martin Scorsese's kangaroo Jack. I feel like that would have been really useful today. So, brought up the Charlotte Show to also bring up the fact that we have Jacksonville tickets on sale. You can, if you're looking for just a link, voxmediaevents.com, I assume you can find it there. If not, go look through the accounts of ours. You'll probably see it at some point, I bet. I'm checking right now in real time. Nope, doesn't take you to it. Great.

Well, anyway, check the accounts. It's around somewhere. I'll make sure to redirect 25 snakes to it. How about that? So, yeah, Jacksonville, the bar is high. How much noise can you make? I'm setting off the fire, works inside. It's not against the law.

In fact, it's encouraged. I think the most encouraging thing about the whole fracas was that we later learned that this was not a paying customer. This was somebody who, innocently, and I don't blame the person who did this because it's the shutdown, full cast, calm down. also who would be there on purpose right except please buy tickets to the jacksonville show um somebody just let this guy in because he was like hey what's going on and the place where we had it is like a big beer garden beer hall place that like an excellent establishment yeah and they had like four different things going on to the fact that somebody just was randomly like hey i want to come see this thing he just man he didn't know what he's getting into yeah the quote we got from i believe

Jinko boy on Twitter was that this dude was like they talk about Clemson in there? Yeah, we thought it was a Louisville fan at first. They were conflicting reports that he was a Louisville enthusiast. Yeah, per one report is a Louisville fan per Jinko Boy, the only journalist I trust

Clemson fan. So I thought I thought Louisville fan was way funnier. Yes, I agree. You just fucking got here. What are you mad about? Yeah. Yeah, he was removed from the premises by a guy who used to work as a bouncer who thank you so much and currently works as a wrestling coach

yeah so before you had to entertain the idea of any any of us actually trying to physically remove someone from the premises and what physical comedy that would be for everyone involved yeah

can I dissent I think any one of y'all could have taken this he was real skinny man He was real skinny and drunk as shit. Alex would have picked this dude up and, like, walked him out. The tell for me, the tell for me was he, he was wearing shorts. He had some chicken legs. I'm not worried about getting my ass kicked by a chicken legs, dude. My favorite part listening back is just, Spencer just keeps spitting bars, just keeps talking about the 96 gaiters, like the dude's not even there.

I mean, I was pretty sure at one point, like, Skeeter was either going to be thrown out, right? or I was just going to talk him down like he was just going to be like Dear God, this man won't shut up I have to leave I guess they're done talking about Clemson Yeah Skeeter

So if you have any delusions That were going to come to your city Or your region And use it as an opportunity To say a bunch of nice things About your team Or the conference in which they play Reexamine that

Think about the choices that you're making Listen, if you want to, if you want somebody to just tell you how good your team and your conference are, SEC and ACC Network are right there, Longhorn Networks right there. You probably don't get Pac-12 Network, but you could probably have somebody send you a transcript. Big Ten networks right there. Like, you can go get that somewhere else. We don't need to give it to you. Yeah, I knew we were okay, by the way.

One last note on the Charlotte Show, and thank you if you attended. y'all were all delightful every single last one of you how skater if you're listening to this come on back brother no stop that i mean we'll throw you out again will yeah i mean that'll happen but uh my last note i knew we were okay because our opening bit was a bit comparing billy graham and rick flair and when we mentioned billy graham the room went i thought okay we'll be all right and then we mentioned rick flair the entire room in unison, instantly went, woo! I do have one regret from the Charlotte show that I would like to rectify here. One, huh? Yep, just one.

We, otherwise, perfect show. No problems whatsoever. We talked about the Panthers a little bit, the Carolina Panthers, and we all neglected to do this. Oh, yeah. Yeah. We did bow beforehand to do that like every four minutes, and we didn't. We haven't heard it in sound check. yeah we did a sound check fuckers yeah so all right that's it so next also by the way you know how you can listen to the audio of the live show and have it be better come to the fucking show broke boys yeah we uh good listeners only for only for rich folks yeah who can yep sorry i like i for the record i am personally against posting audio of the live shows at all because i think it just should just

be for paying customers because I'm a businesswoman like that. Ryan is nicer than me, and this is the thanks, you assholes give him. Meanwhile, I just want to dump as much shitty audio onto your phone as possible. So the natural transition here is, you know, we're talking ACC. Next on our, you know, chicken scratch sketch notes for today. Next on the big board is ACC stuff. But I would prefer to skip ahead to Iowa, Michigan. circle back to the ACC. There is a very, very clear reason for this. On the way back from

Charlotte, Holly Spencer and I, we listen to the Iowa Mission Michigan broadcast, specifically the Michigan radio broadcast featuring Dan Deirdorf and his partner Dan Waldorf, which was not what we set out to do. We set out to look for the Iowa radio broadcast and it turns out that we don't have that on my radio dial. So we turned to the Michigan as a second resort and found treasure it was highly fortuitous because the michigan broadcast was exactly what we were looking before the iowa broadcast to be you would never think of the michigan broadcast to be the one where everyone's just like shouting in anger right you would expect that to be the stately courtly one you expect the iowa one to be the one where everyone's like fascinated by all these

fucking crossing routes these cowards are running yeah no we we thought we were settling we were here watch a football game. We thought we were settling for something, and we had no idea what we were in for. See, I am not, I wasn't with y'all, but I am not actually all that surprised by this, because the Michigan fans that we know, Jane Koston,

Brian Cook, Braves and Birds, like, are all outside, when a Michigan game is not actually happening, tend to be very smart, very thoughtful, very, like, analytical people. And when a Michigan game is happening, they, it's like,

they start growing hair and claws and they're just like God damn it what do you are! Like they lose all of it and then these people have

multiple professional degrees and accolades and then the game ends and they're like okay and now to write 8,000 words comparing this game to the journey

of Don Quixote then they turn back into Bruce Banner yeah yeah no I was just a little surprised because I just didn't think Michigan would permit

sidewalk alumni that's No, it doesn't matter. Like, if you scratch them, and I think this is true of many fan bases, but if you scratch them or if you see them in full bloom during a game, they all devolve into Gary from Kalamazoo, right? They all turn into guys who are like, out there running this cowardly Iowa offense,

the one that relies on crossing routes. Me and my buddies at the fishing bar could do better about this. So I'm out ice fishing and Janine calls, and I throw the phone into the water. And I'm like, Jesus Christ, Janine. We're going to be left alone out here. God damn points. It went back when Bow ran this program.

I would have been running laps until I shit my jeans. And I would have been running in jeans and happy to be there. You know why? Because jeans are blue. Go blue. I would have shat jeans into my shit. Back when Paul ran the carpenter. So my favorite part was me.

Like, Dan Deirdorf, if you grew up watching the NFL, you think of this is, like, the most boring man alive. Yeah. Because, you know, the NFL was boring for like 20 years. He was also consistently on the boring broadcast where you were like, and we're here where the dolphins are losing by 18 and the game hasn't even started. Oh, fuck, it's Dan Deerdorf. But, man, he could not possibly be more perfect. Like, lineman under Bo Schembeckler, he was so fucking awesome that, like, in his downtime, he was the round time, he was the rest. wrestling team sparring partner just out there like the team sparring partner putting over the

whole wrestling team so he was he was basically like a hyperactive nine year old who just needed more more activity yeah yeah yeah i don't know anything about dan deirdriff then i'm just appreciating dan deirdorf now he was so awesome as a football player and i think this all builds toward what he became now is like according to the wiki at least which i accept his fact beckler would slide him from right tackle to left tackle and that is where the ball was going like the defense is just like ah fuck he's on our

side now here comes Dan Deirdorf he's not going to run a fucking crossing route he's going to run over my face they would do things like the other dude on the broadcast Jim Jim Brandstetter was said to be

Brandstatter Jim we're watching Iowa score three points that is horrible Jim was Dan's, like, backup at Michigan. So these two dudes have known each other for 50 years. And I think Holly made the point that, like, they've known each other for 50 years,

and this is the banter you get. It's beautiful. Dude's screaming, sack time! Sack time! To be fair, if I had a transformer that was a garbage truck, I would name it Dierdorf. I mean, like, I grew up, you know, as a football fan,

like, oh, Dan, Dierdorf. over is lame. And now, like, I wish he could call every game. I would die for Dan Dierdorf. So what I'm hearing is we're exclusively going to enjoy the Michigan, Ohio State game from the Michigan radio broadcast. This is horrible. Yeah, there was one point where Brandstader, by the way, you notice, we've only mentioned two men over the age of 60. Surely you must be thinking, oh, there's a play-by-play guy.

Nope. Nope. Not needed. You're just, Michigan had you set up, like, just to watch the whole thing with, like, the... Two cranky great-key great-uncles. The Statler and Waldorf approach. They've just got two guys in a booth. And it's perfect. It's so... It's so... Every now and then, they beam down to the sideline guy whose name is Crash.

They're like, hey, Crash, what do you see down there? And he's like, well, the field goal missed. And they're like, ah, it sure did. that was a shocker it went outside the uprights it's supposed to go inside the upright they had this they have this thing where they do an upward punch on the inflections at the end of every sentence and oh god it makes me want to run through walls y'all think we're being facetious we're not this was the most i have ever enjoyed consuming either of these teams i'm going to try to two part i'm going to try to two man one segment i'm remembering uh which was when shape here it was jim brandsteader going

Shea Patterson, he takes the ball, he's drifting, he goes out, he's got seven men in the pattern. I don't know how that happened, but they're all open, and he, and he just throws it right at the first down marker, and it bounces off, and Iowa intercepts it. They just intercept it. And then Deirdorf waiting the exact amount of time, like the perfect amount of time, just three beats, you just hear Dan Deirdorf go, horrible. And that was his third use of horrible on that drive alone. Like, he was fucking over, Shea Patterson. There was also a great banter moment where, like,

like usually in a broadcast, you have like every 10 minutes, like some focus group is like, you know, there's a producer in their ears like, all right, guys, let's say something fun, right? No, there is no fun on this broadcast. How can you have fun when they're running all these goddamn crossing routes? We found out at the end of the show that their producer's name is Tony.

I hope that he is the same age as they are. By the way, not lying. Tony has no last name. Both announcers, both overly complimentary and also philosophically skeptical about the offensive innovation and wizardry of the Iowa Hawkeyes. We just can't figure this thing out.

The Affleck trivia question, who the hell is this wonder, Brian Ferris? So the fun, fun banter was like, they got to talking about golf. and one of them was like, I call my golf game the Shankopotamus. And the other's like, oh, that's pretty good. I call mine the Shankosaurus.

And the producers in their ear like, guys, this is great. We're having fun. Let's keep it going. Anyway, Shea Patterson looks like a big crap I took in the John. My favorite part of this was how they, we were a little confused for a while, because obviously the game was 10 to 3 for some time.

And they're like, oh, we're clinging to a lead here. And we're wondering aloud in the car, why are they worried about a 10 to 3 game? This is Michigan, Iowa. And they referenced it multiple times and we couldn't figure out why they were so stressed. And then the second the whistleblower, they were like, never in doubt.

Just a commanding defensive win. The game was 10 to 3 for like six hours. And these dudes are like, Dan, I got to tell you, I've sweat through four pairs of jeans so far. As soon as the game over, it is, this was a masterful defense. Massanza belts, they came off. This is. Yeah, there was, by the way, one more thing, right?

One more thing. Just this. I'm sorry that you missed this, Ryan. I am too. I'm not sorry that you had, I'm not sorry that you didn't have to spend six hours on construction laden I-85, but this was our reward. Iowa's final drive when they were attempting to do anything resembling approaching the end zone, which they did not because on the final drive, it went holding penalty, holding penalty, false start, sack, sack, I believe was the final tally on that drive.

Every time Iowa, like, loaded both barrels and shot themselves in the foot, they were like, defensive masterpiece. Never got just the effort. Brandstader would say sack time, okay? Which, again, how long have these guys been together? And this is their touchstone catchphrase. That's the big catchphrase. It's beautiful. I'm not making fun.

You think I'm making fun. I am reveling in this. Sack time! Next time you eat at Calzone, I want you to think, sack time. Sack time! I watched this game on television, so I did not have nearly the enjoyment. That's an inferior technology. I absolutely agree.

There was one good quote, though, that I would like... If I want television, I'll go to the bar. The ears are the testicles of the face. I'll go to the bar to get away from the old bag. Calling me while I'm ice fishing. Jesus. Here is the only... You're the only bag I ever need, Dan.

Speaking of bags, sect-time! Here is the only quote I want to offer from the Fox broadcast. This is from Joel Clat. I think this is sometime in the first quarter. Clat time! He said, a punt, he is what he said,

a punt is not a bad play for Shea Patterson. Oh, oh dear. That was said after Shea Patterson, like, threw the ball out of bounds rather than force an interception or take a sack. I feel,

okay, it was funny against Wisconsin, it was funny against Army. I have crossed into some sort of realm, some sort of a spirit realm where I feel genuinely bad for Shea Patterson because I don't know what the fuck they've been doing up there but he has not been set up to succeed by people who are paid millions of dollars to do so we ought to try one of these crossing routes maybe we should pull one of the kids out of the stands and let them coach the game

get over to Iowa see what they're cooking up because man it smells pretty good smells like bratworth and success Dan smells like an ice cold beer this is really fun yelling this on my back porch at 10.30 night. I'm gonna look up and see a man from like Toledo. Hey, you a Michigan fan? You caught the game, huh? Why do we keep putting like,

why is Pat McAfee on television when we can have these two? I mean, I don't want them on TV. I don't... I want to see their faces. I want. want to see the veins in their heads. No, they don't move. I'm telling you, man. Like, Dan Dierdorf was supposed to be, like, it's like, it's like Olmec screaming at you about Michigan football.

Exactly. Like, if you could actually just put... Not seeing it downside. If you could just put their voices in the heads from Legends of the Hidden Temple, right? I would watch that. I would watch two... Somebody, you know somebody's going to mash that up now, right? That's fine.

That's the football game. in Indianapolis we can never make. And you know, the worst part is I know Michigan fans are going to hear this, and I know some of them like saw us laughing about it on Twitter and said, like, oh, y'all are going to be boring about this. These guys are, these are

awful. They just like, they don't give me any information. No, oh, God, if you had been in the car with this, guys, the joy that this brought to our day. The best 10, honestly, the best 103 game I didn't watch all year will be this game. Information is

trash, man. This was awesome. Yeah, if I want to know what's going on in the game, I can watch it on my fucking phone. I'd rather listen to these guys than do anything. Let's go ahead and downshift emotionally and talk about the ACC. If I wanted an emotional downshift, I'd talk to my son-in-law.

Get it together, fad. What? Is his name fad? Fad. Can't even say. Hey, Brian, just you're so bad. He's got such potential. And he's just trying to be a, what,

a gamer? You know, it was... He went to Eastern, though, so I've never really loved him. You know who a real gamer was? Dan Deirdorf. He likes e-sports. You know, if I... The only e-sport I recognize is

equestrianism, and that's for ladies. I'm just reaching at this point, but it's so great. to do. Now I'm imagining, like, Michigan moms doing ice dressage. Ooh, ooh. Huh? You had me at ice. Go do that, Jeanine. Leave me alone. Did you say dressing?

Let me fish. God damn it. Keep your dressing. I'll take the turkey. Dressage. It's when you get a massage with ranch. You know, the turk, oh, jeez. Horrible. Horrible. Horrible.

Horrible. You know, the turkey is a noble bird. Benjamin Eagles are too showy. Speaking of turkeys, it's time to talk to Virginia Tech football. So I had to... The me first bald eagle. Did you all watch any of this game, Virginia Tech Miami? Yeah, I watched about the...

I watched about twice. minutes of it. Man. So I filled in for... That fourth quarter was something, man. I'll be back. I'll be back in one second, but I promise I'm not making this up.

I have chili on the stove. Oh, that's... Hey, hang on. You can't stop. Soup. Soap's on. It's time for a blood transfusion. Snack time.

Snack time. All right. I got to go catch a no-work. I filled in for Godfrey on this week's P.A.P.N. This Sunday's P.A.P.N., which I'm really excited for that audience to hear me instead of Godfrey. I think it's going to go great. So I had to watch, like, the condensed version of this game. Yeah.

Miami turned the ball over on their first four possessions. And fell in a 28-0 hole quickly. they threw a Hail Mary at the end of the first half which was pretty funny to cut it to 287 and then and then Virginia Tech like just walked away from the controller for most of the rest of the game they had two touchdown drives in the second half

and every other drive was a three and out every other drive this was like it was it was very it was probably the most damaging a Virginia Tech win could be at this point, which is an impressive feat. I like the part where you said, I had to do PAPN, so I actually watched some flow back. Well, look, I wasn't going to, like, actually go back and try to figure out what happened in a Virginia Tech Miami game of very little consequence otherwise.

Sure. But it's important that group of five programs like Miami get the attention that they deserve on PAPN. Yeah. Boys, that chili is thick and stuck to the stove like my second wife. Also, big props to Miami for pulling the incredible feat of down 14, scored a touchdown, went for two, got it, scored another touchdown, and missed the extra point, which would have put them ahead on one point. That was just like, man, Miami, you are all things at all times, as long as those things are bad can i share with you my ac c news of the week yeah so pit played duke all right that's true

and in said game uh duke was uh losing by quite a lot and hell yes duke football sorry yeah at one point losing i believe 26 to three yep then 20 then 26 and then uh pit promptly sort of, you know, east up on the controls a bit. Duke got back into the game. And then, then, Pitt slammed the door on them. What did this coincide with? A fresh retweeting of Dave Wonstat talking about sandwiches.

To me. To Ryan Nanny. Yes. On a cameo, we paid $40 for it. Which is now paid for itself several thousand times over, I would argue. Yeah, in such a short time, I think we got that on the way to the Birmingham show. Yes. Which would have been in July.

I feel like we should record that on a, like, a DVD or a VHS and send it into space and just see what happens. Sandwiches to start raining down. Boy, you want a golden record. I want to talk about Fleetwood Mac's rumors. Mac time! Our people were starving, and yet we found instructions from the seer on how to make the ideal food, and our civilization thrived. And lo, we have brought it back to you. are benefactors. And that's how Dave

once that became the new god of the outer planets. King of Mars. Battlestar Galactica. Yeah. So Pitt, so Pitt, again, and not only not only holding on for a 33rd.

Serter. Nerpter. Nassar. Okay, I got a Pitt challenge for you. Pit pronunciation challenge. Okay. Pluto. Pluto.

Oh, all right. Pluta. Yeah, you got to say it like Luda. Pluta. Plutta. Yeah. Plur, poor. Not a plurner.

Oh, fuck you, buddy. So, yes, you're welcome, Pitt. That's two victories that recharging the pit super weapon with Dave Wonstadt talking about sandwiches has given you. My favorite part is those two idiotic games. That is 50% of ACC action for the weekend. there are only four games three of them were completely stupid boston college louisville was a maximum big 12 game that came down to louisville defense sure uh and then the only game in which nothing stupid happened was mac brown with a wire to wire win over a bad georgia mac brown handling

business that's it that's the only normal thing in the acc a thousand-year-old mac brown also we have a new piece of lore spotted by a podcast reader um the ac c's official website listed georgia tech as playing minnesota during this game uh george minnesota is now in the acc coastal there's a mnemonic device that uh uh we worked on for the charlotte show that we didn't get to to help you remember which team is in which acc division scrap that good thing we didn't read it because throw throw that record out because minnesota's in the acc coastal additionally Minnesota is listed as number 26 on the AP top 25 page today because of that page it has all sorts of nooks and crannies and mysteries to discover.

So even ACC teams that aren't in the ACC are doing stupid shit. So wait, Minnesota is not only in the ACC coastal, they're leading it. Are they the highest? Is Virginia ranked? I don't know. I mean, well, it just by record. Oh, they're 1 and 0 because they beat Georgia Tech. right right yeah i don't know they'd be like georgia southern or something like that i don't think

they've actually played an ac c team no they beat georgia tech according to acc dot com oh right sorry yeah and i don't know illinois might be an acc team too at this point you could probably argue it i think illinois will sleep wherever they're allowed to sleep nap time nap time yeah because illinois because that's, if you listen, by the way, Cup of our Texas A&M blog on the SB Nation Network, he is doing 8-bit theme songs of various fight songs. And the Illinois one, honestly, an 8-bit, it sounds just right because you're like, yeah, this sounds like 35 cents.

And it also sounds like, yep, this is a team that can go up, down, left, and right. That's it. The tempo changes. Would you like to press A or press B? be when does illinois go up okay fair uh is it time to talk about SEC football yeah yeah yeah it is time to talk about SEC football let's talk about the Tennessee squirrel fucking hell okay first of all yeah let's do that um so there was a squirrel at the Tennessee game and it's not just like oh hey there it's not like when there was a fox set what was that

a Texas Tech game a couple years ago. Rally Fox, yeah. Or occasionally you'll see like, oh, there's a mischievous squirrel at a baseball game or something like this. No, this is somebody who lives in Oak Ridge, who... Wait, does he really? That's what the local news stories said, yes. Oh, fucking hell. I probably know this person.

You probably do. There's a decent chance. Wait, what's his name? Hold on. Let me find it. If it's my neighbor, if it's one of my neighbors, I'm not telling you. All right. Here is the article. titled Tennessee fan's pet squirrel shows off his volunteer pride. This man's name is, I'm going to apologize if I get this incorrect, Syed Awad.

Not familiar. Okay. This is his pet squirrel. There's too much of my life in this podcast. Sign in, Sanan. I don't know which exactly it is. According to the article, he found this squirrel abandoned, which I would argue all squirrels are abandoned. so I don't really note the distinction there and he took it in as a rescue and shortly thereafter

he began to dress it up and put it on Instagram and so he brought this squirrel with this little like Tennessee helmet Tennessee Jersey whatever to this to the Tennessee Georgia game and there's just all these pictures of

casual Tennessee fans being like hey look at the squirrel and I think they're happy because in all of the pictures where they're holding the squirrel in the stands they are not facing the field and they're very happy to have an excuse to not watch. It is delightful. The one thing I'm complaining about is that

normally I just have a bunch of people at my mentions every day who think raccoons and possums are the same thing. They're not. And now I have a bunch people who think that squirrels and possums are the same thing, which is even dumber. Stop that. The only other notable thing

from this game I would say was Holly pretty much calling how it would go almost exactly. I've seen this movie before. Holly, just go ahead and read verbatim what you put down and then we'll compare it to what reality.

Okay, who wants to find whatever point in the box score? Who wants to open up their YouTube TV and find what time 8.23 p.m. was. So we estimated that this is when the score was 14. Oh, I know what the score was. I just don't know what the time in the game was at this point. Oh, okay.

Efforting. It was 14. So it was 1413. Second quarter, right? Yes, correct. It was part of the series of plays during this game in which Tennessee led Georgia 1413 for some fucking reason. I say that. Like, I don't know the reason.

And everybody got excited. And I said, there's something very specific happening here that y'all are missing. But I have seen this movie before because Georgia had. a lifelong habit of dicking around against its body bag games and Tennessee is now a body bag game. That's the part people were missing. Georgia likes playing like this against Mercer and they don't have to play any harder than they do against Mercer to beat Tennessee right now. And so at 8.23 p.m. with Tennessee leading 1413 in the second quarter, I said Georgia will score before halftime, 2014 heading into the locker room final score i don't know 37 to 14 the thing that i missed was georgia scoring

twice before half time uh i regret the error um and the final score was a 4314 which also is explained by that um that that last score at the end of the first half came with nine seconds left so you were very very close to nailing this with spooky accuracy i love that feeling of knowing your team is stuck on a score right like when your team you're like hey we scored 17 that's it that's all we got if it was pretty much any other team by the way i except maybe alabama i don't think i could have called this one but there was so Georgia was so specifically doing this georgia thing uh yeah this wasn't hard i do want to talk about alvern florida i'm just gonna come right out okay yeah let's do it oh that was i'm not familiar

Yeah, it was an Auburn, Florida game, which meant that everything went sideways. Very little made sense. It was stressful for everyone involved. But Auburn forgot their double coupons on this day. They did. They did. They forgot the double coupons, which meant that Florida, profligate Florida, wasteful Florida, handed over four turnovers, Florida. Fortunately, Auburn was feeling equally profligate.

They handed over four turnovers. Can I pause to disabuse the notion of anyone that I am saddened by the Tennessee, Georgia game? I, the rare literal moment when I am not mad and I am actually laughing. I'm a, okay, I'm a little bit mad because I really thought I had this game nailed and I was off by six. Carry on. Speaking of nailed. I'm mad at math. Math time.

Math time. I haven't been this mad at math since my fourth divorce. Math was my wife. I never knew Michigan fans had this many marital problems. I assume they just stayed married and were unhappy. it gets cold things things get frayed coughing season

listen if I wanted cuffing season I take off these cuff links go to the ice get a magic fish that's not my best work I could do better that's demonstrably untrue

Trask time yeah no it was good oh god I started laughing like them this was by the way the game where this is the game where you go oh hey man bo necks is a freshman they got a real limited pass game that's probably something todd grantham can even understand they did they did they harassed the hell out of him and he threw three picks including some some awful ones i say that as somebody

who's watching a lot of florida quarterbacks over the last decade some truly heinous picks he played like a freshman uh kyle trask managed managed the game well did get injured rleaves rolled up on him unintentionally. They had a nice little big Cuddle Bear moment after the game. That's what I remember that Kyle Trask is like 6-5. He's huge. He doesn't look. He doesn't sort of talk

huge or look huge. He's massive. And Dan Mullen was running him. I don't know why after a severe leg injury, but you know, who's going to see the quarterback draw coming on third one when your quarterback has an armored left leg?

Yeah. You got a lot. Call Todd Grantham, Cindy Lopper, because if you're lost, just look around, and he's probably the reason. Also, he's constantly drunk. And he was good enough. Yeah, that's, so I don't know, like, this is, this doesn't say a whole lot new about Florida other than, hey, defense is real good against bad quarterback. The, the other part of the defense is that all 13 of Auburn's points came on short. fields. They scored a field goal on a drive that started at the Florida 39, another one that started at the Florida 44. Their touchdown came on a drive that started the Florida 32.

So the fact that, like, Florida's defense is good, but it has, it has flaws. It is, you know, not front to back all 11 outstanding. It's not like the best Florida defense we've seen in recent memory. For Auburn to really struggle to sustain anything drive-wise, that's like, the most alarming thing you should take away. Like, Bo Nix struggling, sure. That's very, that's very explainable and makes sense in the context of his development

and playing on, in a tough road game, et cetera, et cetera. But like, they, they didn't have any option B. They didn't have other parts of the running game that could spell him. They didn't have, like, okay, we're going to find it easy ways

to get balls to receivers in space or anything like that. Like, they were if they did not have excellent defensive play on their own, I don't know that they would have scored. I don't know how they would have scored in this game. Boobie Whitlow picked up a little bit in the second half. Yeah. But other than that, not a whole lot of consistent production from anyone there.

By the way, this is Florida this year. A lot of short passes past first team and occasionally will bust something long in the run game, right? That's how this is going to work, y'all. y'all the last time i saw this many short fields i was banned from youth soccer she's she's like this forever now isn't she yeah yeah she's sorry she's she has so much pure michigan it's so hard to stop she has pure michigan in her bloodstream pure michigan no no amount of antibiotics we get that out i will also i will also say there was not a lot about this game that made me feel like cool lSU on the road florida's got that You know, I don't think there's anything about this team that makes me feel that way because there are so many mistakes and so many errors.

And yet, it keeps working. By the way, Florida's won 10 in a row. Just, you know, not that streaks matter. Not that, you know, not that anyone's watching. But damn all is one 10 in a row. That's, I'll take that. Can I play a really mean game to switch it back to the Big 10 for a little bit? Please.

Finally, we're going to talk some goddamn football. I want to play a game I call Rutgers or Northwestern. Yes. Oh, I've never wanted to play this game more. Okay, so Rutgers and Northwestern have both played five games to this point in the season. I believe they have the exact same record of one in four. I will preface this by saying Northwestern has played a harder schedule, but Rutgers has not had like a total cakewalk schedule either.

And we're just going to do a simple game of who's been worse at various things. these are all focused on offensive categories. Spencer, you're going to be the contestant for this game because of your excitement. Who's had more punts on the season? Ruckers or Northwestern? Northwestern. That's correct. Northwestern has 33 puns to Ruckers 31.

Who has had more turnovers on the year? Northwestern. 12 to 11, that's correct. Who is the worst team on third down? Northwestern. It's Ruckers this time, 29.9. 3% third down conversion. Northwestern, 33%.

Who's worse on a yards per play basis? Northwestern. Northwestern is worse. There are 3.95 yards per offensive play. Ruckers all the way up at 4.94. Last question. Who has scored more points this season? Northwestern or Rutgers?

Rutgers. Northwestern has scored one more point than Rutgers. Rutgers is last in the nation with 71 points scored in five games. Western has 72. I think Pat Fitzgerald ought to spend less time reading blogs and more time reading it's playbook, damn.

Are you telling me Maryland exceeded both of their totals in a single game, and they're still Maryland? I don't understand how Pat Fitzgerald can get up there at a press conference and whine and bitch and moan about fans, this, entitled millennials

that not support the team, blah, blah, and roll out this fucking turd circus. Turd circus. I just... Playing the Art National Guard Armory. The fun distinction here between Northwestern and Rutgers is Rutgers changes OC's every three to five, one to three to five years. Yes.

Chris Ash was new, and he is on his way out. Meanwhile, as discussed last week, Northwesterns, offensive coordinator is he has tenure he will not be leaving it's only getting worse it'll only continue getting worse patford's Gerald is trying to prove some kind of a point by not having a point yeah he's in the wood it's especially dumb because northwestern's defense is quite good and it doesn't matter at all they're their offense cannot do a fucking thing they're currently the inverse of the Cliff Kingsbury, Texas Tech teams.

Yes, that's correct. Which means Pat Fitzgerald will be an NFL coach soon and we will finally be rid of his bullshit. Yeah, they had a chance to win. They had a chance to win this game. They had the ball tie game

at near midfield through a fucking pick. No, no, no. You described that as a pick. As if if you saw it on film, one would calmly write down interception. No, no, no, no. It was heinous. I wouldn't know. It was horrible. It was horrible. Just horrible. And then Nebraska drove to the seven and kicked the lowest possible

24-yard field goal. Yes, can I tell you, can I tell you a little, like this is all part of a theme, by the way, okay? The guy who kicked that is named Lane McCallum. He's a transfer to Nebraska. force or something? Correct from Air Force. And he is a transfer from Air Force who played what position? Safety. He took over kicking duties after an injury to the starting kicker.

Lane McCallum playing safety for Scott Frost, who after playing quarterback in college went into the pros and played for the Jets at safety. Right? So just two themes building to

Nebraska being beat. by a safety coached by a safety and being beat by a safety school. Yeah. Right? That's you, Northwestern. Yeah. Yeah. Stick it, stick it to you. By the way, Northwestern, it's a real good school. It's a real good school. Yeah, just ask them.

Just ask them. Let's hear it for safety schools. What's up safety schools? I have a I have a fan theory, Star Wars Reddit fan theory. Sure. So when Pitt beat UCF, We all thought that was the discharging, what a lovely word, of the super weapon for the season, right? Like, ah, this was Pitt's one big moment. This was the pittoning for the year.

All right, it's been fun, everybody. Let's check back in on pit next season. But UCF is like, you know, not all that good. So is it possible to retroactively revise the pittoning and realize that, That wasn't actually the Superweapon. That was like, that was just like a regular, like, explanation. Is this like when they're building a second Death Star? No, because, like, that one sucked.

Like, that one got blown up before it was. That was a normal Pitt game, right? So this is my... This was like... The shit blew up, but it didn't take the Death Star. Here's my only problem with this theory. Here are the remaining opponents on Pitt's schedule. Syracuse, Miami, Georgia Tech, UNC,

Virginia Tech, Boston College. You're forgetting one at the end. Oh, Clemson. Clemson, you bitch, we're coming for you. And the Death Star is actually full this time. You thought it was spent. You thought spent is another beautiful word. And no, in fact, it is full.

It is primed. It's pumped full of power. Ready to unload it all over you. Jesus. Talk about my ex-wife and some more. Which ex-wife? But, I mean, it's like, it just feels like a big waste of Pitt. If you CF can be just lose to any old AFC North, you know, town.

Yeah, give it, give it time. Give it time. I think your theory is correct. I believe that Pitt is recharging. Hold on. Hold on. I want to see some. Keep gone.

Yeah, I believe, I believe pit has more. Pitten and left in them Wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait. Let's talk. I disagree that it's going to be the ACC Championship because I don't think they're going to make it there. What? October 17th, 2020

in Hinesfield, Pitt host, Notre Dame. Okay. Oh, no. See, see, see, see. Charging. Charging. Charging.

Charging, charging, charging, charging. uh i did want to last time the wildest game of the wildest game of the week for me uh in terms of actual like sit down and go yeah i would call people and tell them to watch this right like i'd wake him up and do it if i liked him maybe if i didn't like them right uh would be smu versus tulsa if you've not watched

SMU and you want the freewheelingist working without a planinist Yeah, Sunny Dykes team that still does Sunny Dykes team things like playing a game that they eventually win where a kick returner

just kind of lets the ball lay in the end zone, right? Yeah, it's like every Sunny Dykes team where special teams is supposed to be, there's just like nach dip recipe. There's just other things there, right? And yet, and yet, SMU, who came into this game undefeated, somehow, now it's 6 and 0 in the conference.

They win in AAA, 43337 in the most white knuckling, just absolutely insane. They didn't have a kicker at the end, so they had to throw the game-winning touchdown from like 30 yards out. in OT and got it just a bizarre game through and through with fantastic crowd shots of young guys named what Chad

Clort Clort Yeah Brindle But it's all with an A It's all spelled like Walter Peyton Yeah You know

Cacky Jarlet Jarlet Jarlet Yeah Brayden but there's like a J in there Yeah

yeah clambrie oh yeah you know Cadillac CTS Williams right

out there we didn't name him after the Auburn running back but after the car yeah that's just an outstanding

football game I would actually rewatch this because Tulsa goes up on on SMU and then

SMU roars back with a 34 point second half and OT. By the way, they saved that for last. They scored 21 in the fourth. Third quarter, they're just like, all right, hold on. We've got to recoup.

That sniffing noise, that is when Dallas becomes its most powerful. Yeah. What are you doing in the third quarter? We're in the bathroom. Come on in, man. I have an edit to make belatedly to the top whatever. Top whatever, if you're not familiar, is our ranking of the top things from every college football weekend.

It comes out in our newsletter. You should sign up for it to read option if you haven't already. We also put it on the website, banner society.com. The thing we left out, so Oklahoma in their win over Kansas, had a situation where they had fourth and goal from the 44. Before that, they had third and goal at the 50. And people were like, wow, this is, wow, this is crazy, whatever. I think the announcers were like, oh, I haven't seen.

in 18 years or blah-de-blah-b-b-b-b-b-b-b-b-in-my opinion, like, it's a little funny, it's a little weird. But there are enough examples of somebody with third and goal, fourth-in-goal, from a ridiculous distance, that it's not that unusual. Here is the twist. So they punt from the Kansas 44, because it's fourth and goal. How many returners does Kansas leave back for this punt? Not enough because they doubted on like the inch line. The answer is zero. Les Miles didn't leave anybody back to possibly return what was definitely going to be a punt.

Oh, a sooner is very wily. You can't. So at this point, in a game that I think was, it was still a one-score game at that point. And it was late in the first half. Kansas got the ball back at like their own two, did nothing with it, had to, had to. punt it back with time remaining to Kansas, to Oklahoma, rather, who ran the ball back to like the eight and then scored one play later, all because they decided just to not leave a punt returner back for this stupid midfield fourth and goal punt. It was, it was such a good combination

of like, oh, you think you're stupid. Well, look at this. So I'm sorry that we left that out We'll do better next time. Didn't it bounce it like the, I don't know. I feel like it bounced at like the nine or something like that. It was a returnable punt. It was not a like, this was coffin cornered beautifully or, like, or, you know, a returner would have let it go and it just died. It was a returnable punt. There just wasn't a goddamn punt returner.

Well, you wouldn't look so smart if OU had faked it, would you? I have a feeling with 44. yards to stop it. I still would elect okay. Kansas? Listen! No, not Kansas. You're right. No, no. I'm sorry. See, you got to apply the Kansas tax. This is also a good reminder that Boston College has lost this year to that Kansas team and to a rebuilding Louisville team. I know we already talked about Boston College, but man, man, what a bad season. Can I remind everyone of an important public health priority that I think everyone should listen to you should get your flu shot you should everyone should go get your flu shot because the flu sucks and you can give it to every you know you can

give it to everyone else right and but this is my way of transitioning by way of flu shot reminders to say man no one in the pack 12 has any immunity from anything no one no one got their flu shots no one has a single antibody because surprise surprise oh oh my God. I like it because every week we try to say, like, look, everybody should calm, everybody who's like, the Pac-12 is out of the playoff should calm down. It's a long season. Yeah, they're not in great shape, but, like, things can still happen.

And then we look up and it's like, all right, so it's either going to be four-in-one Oregon, maybe, or four-in-one Arizona. Ah, shit. Well, thanks everybody else for trying. Yep. You know what Arizona didn't get? their flu shot. They're going to lose to somebody they shouldn't. The PAC 12, it's the conference where everyone

is the outbreak monkey. They've already, Arizona's already lost to Hawaii who might finish. Oh, wait, wait, wait, wait, I got it. Typhoid Larry. Wow. We should also note that one of the most robust anti-vax communities is in Washington. That's true. See? Yeah.

See. But yeah, Stanford, Stanford late night beat a Washington team. They had no business beating to get to a meaningless three and three that won't benefit anybody. Paxwell! In addition to that, pack time!

Pack time! No, there's no way Dan's awake for pack time. Sneak attack time. You all way to stay up past nine? Nap time. I got to get up to play cards with the boys at 5.30. That's your morning cards. I like that Washington and Washington State

have now combined for like the Duffalo. dumbest possible losses in the Pac-12 at this point. Washington State has a loss to Utah. Utah's not bad, whatever. And they also have the only loss to UCLA. And Washington has a loss to Cal, which also like, yeah, Cal sometimes going to be and this Stanford. Like, the Apple Cup at the end of this year is going to be particularly like, all of my

rage will be taken out on you. You did this to me. It's because you're my brother. People look at me funny. that's why my favorite thing about the Pacto right now is that

UCLA wow so you got it turned around you scored 7,000 points on Washington State in 8 minutes great, cool, good then you lost to Oregon State

nobody loses to Oregon State that's what they're for stop that yeah man they don't be that it's bad for you there is a path to Oregon State Arizona playing in the Pact's all title game. They've both lost

to Hawaii. That means Hawaii automatically will get the Pact 12's Rose Bowl claim. Hawaii to the Rose Bowl. And they're like, nah, bra, it's nicer here. I do want to look ahead a little bit at what

is next in our Pac 12 future. Because there's, because listen, Wazoo plays Arizona State next week, okay? That's a thing.

That's happening at 3.30. That's happening in the middle of the day, too. 3.30 Eastern. This is, by the way, the resistable force versus the very movable object because Wazoo just fired their defensive coordinator. Or I'm sorry, he resigned, clearly of his own volition. There was a little bit of a, like, working with Mike Leach for more than three months. That's a lot. Yeah, Jason, you were talking about this yesterday.

And can you imagine anything more exhausting? Yeah, I could do like two weeks. Yeah, at least working for Nick Sabin, you're like, I know the devil's awake 24 hours a day, and he's predictable. But also with Nick Saban is like, he doesn't know my name, and that's fine. Yeah, that's fine. Which of these following Pac-12 games from next week? Are you most confident you know what will happen?

Colorado plays at Oregon on Friday night. Nope. Wazoo plays at Arizona State, 3.37. Not that one. Good God. USC goes to Notre Dame. Yeah, I think I got that one. Utah goes to Oregon State.

Absolutely not. Wow. And Washington plays an 11 o'clock Eastern kick against Arizona on the road. Jesus. Oh, after losing to Stanford. Colorado, Oregon, that sounds, I'll give that 70-30 confidence. The others, no, thank you. Yeah, no, I've got USC.

Notre Dame has a pretty certain outcome and other than that nope Thank you.