Shutdown Fullcast - Shutdown Fullcast 3.10

Episode Date: July 8, 2015

It's our 200th episode recording with host Rodger Sherman, and we celebrate by discussing: - possible non-conference upsets - how you can bet actual money on teams like Rutgers and UNC to win the national championship, somehow - Tampa/St. Petersburg and its burgeoning culinary scene - other household items you could attack a quarterback with and call it training - the 2001 film Driven starring Sylvester Stallone - how there's nothing controversial happening in the CFB universe right now, nope, no sirree Learn more about your ad choices. Visit megaphone.fm/adchoices Learn more about your ad choices. Visit podcastchoices.com/adchoices

The land down under has never been easier to reach. United Airlines has more flights between the U.S. and Australia than any other U.S. airline, so you can fly nonstop to destinations like Sydney, Melbourne, and Brisbane. Explore dazzling cities, savor the very best of Aussie cuisine, and get up close and personal with the wildlife. Who doesn't want to hold a koala? Go to United.com slash Australia to book your adventure. Hello, everybody. You are listening to Shutdown Fullcast. I'm a regular weekly host, Roger Sherman. Thank you for tuning in wherever you are in the world. Let's talk to our friends. We have college football editor, Jason Kirk. How are you doing, Jason?

I'm doing well, Roger. It's good to hear your voice again. It's been exactly seven days since last we spoke over the airwaves. Yeah, there's nothing out of routine about that at all. So I'm glad to... regular and I can set most of my bodily functions by when I speak to you and how many hours it has been since. Do you do that? Yeah. Well, I don't have to like monitor it. My body just sort of notes.

Did you notice the leap second this past week that it was one second longer than normally that we talked? Yeah. I felt sort of a deep hunger because of that. It helped that we started this podcast without the technical difficulties of last week's stuff. So we made up for that leap second. The other voice you're hearing, of course, is SB Nation Managing editor, Ryan Nanny. That's me. That's what I do.

I don't know what my job is, but Roger just gave it to me, so that's fun. No, that's what it always is and always has been. You should have read the fine print on your contract. I'm sorry. Contract. I'm sorry. You know how we're all traveling members of a band in 1950. We got paid for this road gig.

I'm out here holding Holden John Boyce Out of Window Ledge for publishing Oh, poor John You're not the vanilla ice of our company, I promise No, that was the first thing that came to mind Only because he's the best That's true, just like Vanilla Ice

Wait I'm not the best basis there is But I was the best basis Like in the town where our band formed Right, and you go on to be like a legendary producer or something But it's only because he killed your brother What town is our fan from? It's got to be some like Hot Springs, Arkansas.

It just, it's hot, what it is is it's hot springs, but the state is never identified. Yeah, hot springs. It's like, we're like evil Simpsons. Right. Because every state has the hot springs and you don't want to go to Nan of them. Turned out to be Hot Springs, Maine all along. Oh, God. That's so awful.

Nobody knew. So, guys, I think it's fair to say that there is nothing. of controversy to discuss in the college football landscape this week. Everything is fine. People on Twitter are treating each other respectfully and calmly and everything's going great. So given that, we have decided we're just going to pretty much do a question show. And again, that's because there is nothing of consequence or negativity to discuss

this week, not because we are ill-prepared. Yeah, never the last It's definitely because we didn't see or watch anything disturbing In college football news this week with our eyes Right Everybody every all the players are on their best behavior All the coaches are representing their schools Well, all the fans are just making me proud

Listen, bar none Everyone is doing the right thing Like Paul Rhodes I am so proud of you college football fans on Twitter whoever you are um so roger you're the host you're you're the leader of this particular pack why don't you start us off with question number one um let's go to uh austin coats uh at bundle at 97 on twitter asked what is the worst smell in college football and my god there's so many directions to go with this is this is the question you want to start with yeah you know

I mean, you know, just because everything's been so sweet-smelling in college football and on Twitter, I just want to bring us all the way down. You know, honestly, I think that the honest answer would probably be, well, is Mark Mangino? Is it still coaching? Is he at United States? He's the offensive coordinator for Iowa State, I believe. Iowa State? Yeah. Yep, yep.

And I'm happy that my brain has that information and not a cherished childhood memory. instead. Yeah, just squeeze all that stuff right out. You need to know where Mark Mangino is for your personal safety. Love you, Mom. I don't know when your birthday is anymore. But I think really you've got to go I think there are two major

college football bovines and you've got Ralphie and you've got BVo. Unless, I mean, and if you're familiar with cows. Is it Buffalo a bovine? Sure, it is now. It's cow ass. Okay.

Roger. Roger went to Northwestern. They know all kinds of stuff about animals. Yeah, we're big on the meat studies. I'm going to say Ralphie smells way worse in Bevo because Bevo doesn't move. They just sort of fan him with waves of money. Whereas Ralphie has to, she has to actually get up and I believe it's a she right now, she has to actually do work.

Plus, she's got basically a fur coat on, further insulating all that. So if the question then is which mascot, you've essentially taken this question, Roger and turn it to which mascot is the stinkiest of them all. Well, animal smells are by nature, you know, worse than human smells, even really bad human smells. Even the worst smell I make is like on par with like my dog's like sweetest smelling far. But here's the problem that I have with that theory. You're suggesting that an animal that is beloved by its institution, well cared for by

institution, probably washed regularly, smells worse than a college student who climbs into a costume that may not have been washed in a decade. Do you see what I'm saying here? So it's not so much the live mascots who are just all good dogs doing what it is they do. All animals are dogs, by the way. It's probably those, you know, the creepier version, which are the fuzzy costume mascot. I'm just saying, a 19-year-old whose mother would be horrified to see his dormitory in Gainesville gets into that Albert costume on a hot Saturday in October at noon for a game that Florida loses by 20 points and you're telling me that that smells better than a majestic bison yeah well and also the question like you said is you know

wow size that one smell is in the eye of the beholder that's not that's not what you used to smell. No, you need, you need to go back to my question. Smells in the nose of the beholder, though, like, because, like, a Colorado fan might go around Ralphie and smell, you know, this horrible, you know, buffalo smells and be like, this is the symbol of my institution, whereas no one really wants to be associated with those fuzzy costume mascots. You know, no one likes those.

So it's, it's, it, the smell, both smells are bad. Yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah. And you could certainly say that. You know, the kid in the costume, um, has less of an excuse to smell so bad. Like, he has a shower next to his bed, you know, which we can only say about maybe like one bison in the world, which is Ralphie. Um, but the key is that, um, no matter how bad bevo or, uh, or whoever smells, somebody likes it. Oh, yeah, that's true. You're talking about musk now. Yeah, yeah. Well, there's that too. There's that too. The other, the other Ralphies like it.

Mm-hmm. Mm-hmm. So now we're talking about which mascot's the sexiest. See how things take a turn. Hey, you know what? I'm sticking with Ralphie. You're sticking with... I mean, Ralphie does have that sort of raw, unbridled power. You know, he's sort of, by definition, when you see Ralphie run out, he's saying, I have the sexual prowess of these five or six strapping young men that are trying unsuccessfully to corral me.

Mm-hmm. That's pretty sexy. Yeah. He's like, untamed. We're just talking about the WK. Yeah, that's fine. That's fine. I don't care.

This has already gone bad. Congratulations, Roger. Another successful podcast, led by you. Well, when you start with Midge, you know, it's... It's going to go sexy. Is that what you're telling me? Yeah. Okay.

What do you think is the best smell in college football then? And I don't mean in the sexual way. Just like, just the thing that smells the best. I'm just picturing baseball fans being like the freshly cut grass on opening day. No, college football doesn't have good smell. That's a terrible answer. I'm just saying college football doesn't have good smells. I think we have pleasing smells, but not ones that you'd like, not ones that you'd bottle and sell.

Are you telling me LSU fans are not like bottling tailgate smells and put them on? That's what it is. things that's what it is it's it's it's it's that grilling tailgate delicious meat smell my favorite college football smells quote is nick say been talking about being in the midfield in uh in death valley lSU and smelling bourbon sure that's what they water the wonderful well that's what they water the grass with that's why that's why that's why smiles eats that's that explains a lot a lot of the end of game oh my god what is this this this is delicious Let's get drunk on grass again.

You joke, but there's a Louisiana person who's done this before. All right. We're going to move on next question. Jason, you're up. This one heads are away from homegirl Lana Barry. She says, why is Roger there? I don't know. He's always here?

Yeah, I'm just here. Respectfully, Atlanta, that's a dumb question. I'm the host of this show, and I don't particularly appreciate. I know you do. I know you do baseball podcasts, whatever baseball is. And, you know, you're a very smart person. But honestly, why is Roger? Everyone knows why Roger is here.

He's the host of this show, and he always has been. Oh, well, that's why she's confused. Because if you think of Roger as the starting pitcher for our podcast, she thinks that that role should rotate, that we should have four or five people. So she wants Roger on a pitch count. Right. But Rogers, Rogers like a pitcher from a time when medicine barely existed. Yeah, Roger's practiced out of barbershops. He's the old hoss Radburn of podcasts.

He's got so many miles on that podcasting the arm. And he doesn't care because, you know what, opium. He's got one of those amazing stat lines, like 48 wins, 25 losses. Right. 700,000 strikeouts in one season. Andy conducted the team train all season. For X, for an extra $5 a week. All of the things that you're saying are true.

I have it, yeah, I mean, that's just who I am, the podcasting horse, you know? Somebody else asked this on Twitter, and I don't remember who it was, but it seems related. They asked if Roger was the most valuable member of espionation. I think based on everything we've just said, that's true. But their follow-up question was, why does Roger's hair always look wet? It's because I'm sweating so hard from all the dang work I'm doing, carry this organization. I mean, yeah, I was going to say the answer, it's like. in your question. His hair is always

wet. It's like the rassler Dean Ambrose. That kind of hair. And that's how he enters and leaves the office, just like a rasselist. It's weird because we have to turn the lights off and everybody's got to start cheering.

My entrance music is good this year, though. And what would that be again? I need to pick my entrance music. Who did we just lose? No, I think everybody's still here. Oh, okay.

I heard the Skype sound. This is good radio. Oh, man. Rividing. If you're still listening, shut down fullcast, sponsored by. I mean. Brought to you by. My entrance music is, is, um, uh, always on time by Ashanti and Jirul.

Oh, right. Just signify that I'm always on time. Sure. You know. But, I mean, that doesn't just signify. I mean, that, that, that just says it. But, yeah, we, we don't really. need entrance music because it's just like every day

9 a.m. We play always on time. Here's a thing though. Ashanti featuring Jarlal. Roger, I don't, you know, it's not like we're lifelong friends or anything, but I have found that you are always there when I call. Yeah, since they invented cell phones, it's been a lot easier. Oh, do you think that's what that song is about

that, like, I'm not home and... Well, yeah, this is, that was from, like, the last... I think that song is like, you know how there are, like, entire episodes of like Seinfeld and friends based around like someone not being directly near a phone and you watch them now and you're like that's so silly this entire

plot line could have just been easily fixed you know like always on time by Jarl and Ashanti is the last bastion of that era of technology. It's so weird that you're suggesting Jarl rule's work is not timeless I'm

I'm an extremely large Jarl fan so when I do switch my entrance music it's always in between jaw roll songs. Right. This is the most anybody's talked about Ashanti, by the way, since that time, Ashanti didn't show up at Family Thanksgiving and everybody was worried.

Well, she wasn't always on time. Like, it was disconcerting. Well, that's because she didn't have Jha. Right. That's true. It made, lo and behold, he is the one who is always on time. It's a real gatekeeper, keymaster situation. If you will.

Put that in your Ghostbusters remake. God, what are we even talking about? What has happened to this podcast? Is this a college football podcast? We talk about, it's the only topic we've ever talked about on this program. We're talking about fucking Ashanti and Roger being a wrestler at our office. If you're just tuning in, thanks for joining us. This is college football podcast.

Hey, I'm the host. Don't do that. What's my host? Good job. Wow. He just, he just, he just told rank. You know what? After 107 episodes, Roger has that. right he's been with us through thick and thin i deserve that that's cool do we have ryan is it your turn to ask a question god i hope it is all right i will we'll we'll ask something actually

college footbally now uh this comes from pm t at oh my god it's going to be a nightmare i thought it said banana space prague but it's banack space prague on twitter his question or her i don't know twitter you know gender has no meaning on twitter certainly which team do you think is most likely to pull a huge non-conference upset this year. I have my answer. I'm going to real quick Google IOS schedule. Okay. Just to see who is lucky enough to play them.

Wow. I mean, I'm going to lead off with, as Roger apparently assembles a microwave. I was getting some beers. I'm going to lead. I will say Memphis. when they play Ole Miss that is I think

a mid-October game everybody everybody's all on that Memphis train but I can't imagine that they will be going off the rails favored over Old Miss I feel like the winner

of that one gets the pyramid Wow right what the hell would Old Miss do with the pyramid I mean guest house stuff on it or racist guest house

or claim white people built it I don't know man that's harsh now uh iwas uh schedule does open up with it seems like they always play north dakota state this year they do duck north dakota state but they get the other team in the fcs title game they get illinois state at 11 a.m. central so i'll go with that one god i lift at one game and i've made my pick that's that is great hustle

you know i was i was sadly north dakota state is my pick for this type of question literally every single year okay um uh and they're sadly not playing a uh because they're sadly because they scared because they're scared that one of these years they'll lose to a team in the higher why they duck in minnesota and um earlier today i was talking with Ryan, because Ryan sometimes wears t-shirts from teams that he thinks are about to have breakout seasons. So he was wearing a Texas state shirt, and he said to me, Roger, I know that Texas State will be Florida State in their home opener.

Yep, that's verbatim, how it went down. And I said, Ryan, like, don't let your Florida bias, like, carry into this. And then he said, I let it carry into literally everything because, oh, I shouldn't talk about this stuff we talk about at our media meetings where we plan against Florida State. Where we plot against the Knowles. Oh, God. Don't let that out there. Can you edit this out? No, this stays in.

Wow. stays in the podcast. This is a safe space. This is a safe space. Now that you've said that and like eight people have heard it, we've got to come up with a new plan. We need a new team to screw. Who are we going to go in on? Are we taken down?

I know. You know what would be fair is go get Texas State because they were the ones that started all this. That's true. I think fair is fair. So Ryan, sorry your beloved Bobcats is going down. Man. Dennis Franchon's newsletter scheme. Fran said it again.

Fran. He just learned how to use email, too. That's a shame. The funniest upset that I think we could have in the non-conference schedule, I'll throw this out there. real early in the year. Virginia over UCLA. Yeah, sure, sure. That could happen.

That would, I mean, sure, if you say so, that would be up there for me. I would also potentially throw North Carolina over South Carolina. Is that an upset, though? That's a really fair question. I really don't know. I don't. Woe on you if you bet on either of those teams playing anybody, let alone each other, let alone in the cauldron of madness

that is Bank of America Stadium. Feel the Panther roar! I kind of feel like UNC would be favored by a point or two. Obviously, I haven't looked at the lines lately. Man, I mean... I didn't really follow what happened to Ohio State after they lost in the second week last year, but I think they probably like, you know,

circled that rematch against Virginia Tech to open the season this year, And I think the Buckeyes could go and upset the Hokies. Wow. Yeah. That's a big rivalry game. You know, I think, I just think their quarterback situation was, you know, holding a back last year, and I think they're ready to move forward this year.

I feel like with a healthy Braxton Miller, they'll have a better chance against Virginia Tech because it was clearly the two backups just weren't. It just weren't cut out. So there are. are no odds on unc versus south carolina yet but if you just look at the odds as to who's going to win the national championship in 2016 south carolina is higher than unccc what are how many how many commas are we talking about i was on commas on common hold on hold on I'm going to find some better versions of these.

I like that the comma has become rap music's favorite parenthetical mark. That's how it works, right? No? There's been an outburst of comma-related songs over the past two years. Agree. Okay.

All right, so yeah. M-Dashs ain't got shit on comma. So right now, you're looking at South Carolina at plus 11,000 for odds to win the title. Are you serious? These are futures, and I don't know how the hell they work. By comparison, Ohio State is the favorite at plus 450, which I assume, I don't know.

How the hell does this work? God damn it. Well, what that is, if you bet a dollar on South Carolina, you're getting back. You get 450 points of man. Is it 11 or 110? I think, I assume it has to be 100%. Wait, was it 11,000 or 1100? 11,000 plus 11,000.

So that means if you put down $100, you would get down $11,000. Okay, so if you put $100 on Ohio State, you get $4.50, you get $4.50. All right. Roger went to Northwestern. Man, thank you, Roger. That was immensely helpful. I got a B-minus in statistics. It was the only math course I took.

So South Carolina is 110 to 1 to win the national title. Okay, I guess anybody will put money on things. North Carolina is 300 to 1. North Carolina is tied with Pitt, NC State, and Ruckers. Fucking Ruckers. Is that 3,000 to 1? 30,000.

It's 30,000. So, yeah, it's, man, this is brutal. If you're, if you out there bet on UNC with national title and football, we want you to host this podcast next week. This is rough. Sorry, Roger. This is rough.

I mean, whereas South Carolina is tied with Utah and slightly behind Michigan, man, why do people bet on college football? This seems like the worst decision you could ever make. I mean, especially college football, like, the fun thing is conceivably it has, you know, so few teams out of the 128, or is it 129 this year, are capable. Unless we're letting you AB have like a ceremonial spot. I forgot about that. No, I think you've got to give mods, and I think those odds probably. Why not? They're right around South Carolina.

I mean, Rutgers has a chance. The UAB deserves one, right? Yeah, damn it. Hell yeah, yeah. This isn't crazy. Roger, please ask a new question. I'm so sad. Okay.

The next question is from Pete Mortensen at Moore Pete. And his question is, during the offseason, would you rather watch CFL, Arena League, or Jags Titans replays? So he's proposing some alternative random football options for the offseason. And I'm going to go out on a lib here and say that I'm all for crazy-ass random football spinoffs like the CFL and Arena League that are like just significantly more like we're just going to throw random entertaining things in than like any version of of, like, extremely popular American, like, versions. This will not be surprising to anyone out there

because we did send Roger to the Bahamas Bowl just a few months ago. Yeah. And he just interviewed Dan Hawkins, head coach of USA football. Man, that is... Can we just talk for a minute about the fact that somebody said, who should represent us internationally as a responsible diplomatic man? And we said, Dan Hawkins, Dan Hawkins should do it.

who was the second choice well um i know that jerry glanville seems of the same genre charlie we'd have been great because then we could have had a headline we could have run a story a year from now it's like yep united states is paying charlie weiss for the next 10 years i think charlie out there we got a fucking diplomatic incident on our hands so the reason they they they the dan hawkins not to actually talk about like football and stuff That's fine. But the reason Dan Hawkins is there is, he said, well, his son played professionally in Sweden, which is a thing you can do.

And he was like, oh, people play football outside of America. And then his son was also on the U.S. national team. And he was like, oh, this is a neat thing. So my point is there. Yeah, and now his son's on the staff. So there are like people playing professional football in Switzerland. eat it and I just wanted to throw that out there that's a thing that happens and I think that's like a pretty solid life choice you know that sounds good that I mean you got your

horrific head injury like they'll actually take pretty good care of you because it's sweet don't give you a new head brand new that's just pop one on you know how much cost and it comes from a model zero dollars yeah you'll you'll you'll come back looking prettier and then you get six years paid vacation and it's all fine i mean they don't have like peanut butter or sugar in sweden but other than that everything's great well they do but the only downsizes is really good for you oh it's so good for you it's just made of vitamins and minerals have i ever told you my arena my arena league experience no please do now's the time now as the host i grant you permission uh so tampa has a arena league team called the Tampa Bay Storm. In my time, growing up in central Florida, I only

went to one Tampa Bay Storm game. And this is how I learned what the pregame ceremony, at least at the time, was. You sing the national anthem, and then the PA announcer asked everyone to have a moment of silence. And at the time, you think, well, maybe we're remembering a public figure who died, or the sacrifices of fallen soldiers or policemen, firemen, or whatever, we're doing something earnest. He takes a beat after everyone's silent, and then he bellows, you've just witnessed the quiet before the storm. That's very good. It's, man, it is jarring when you think that you're supposed to be remembering something somberly. And it turns out to be a fucking pun.

Now, if you're a longtime Tampa Bay Storm diehard and somebody out there is laughing at the thought of that. But no, no, no, no, no, no, no. I assure you there are longtime Tampa Bay Storm diehards. How do you keep it buttoned up during the plat before the storm? No. You're just losing your mind. You're just shaking with, I got a yell. I got a yell.

I got to. And do they, like, draw it out for like a really big game? It's, oh, I hope so. I hope that. It's like, it's like four minutes of. I hope they bring like a trumpeter out there as if he's going to play taps. And he's just like, And then the quiet before the storm.

Thank you for paying $11 to watch this game. You guys want to name an arena football league team? Absolutely. There should be one name like Venom. There probably is. Hold on, hold on. I mean, L.A. L.A. L.A. is the, uh, the, uh, the, the, the, the, the, the, the, the, uh, the amarillo venom. They're not in the, uh, arena league, but they're in the, um, they're in, like a minor arena league.

There's also, there's also, there's also, squared with, there's also the Nashville venom. There are two venoms. Yeah. Well, that's how is it's Atlanta United. Yeah, that's, well, the thing is in soccer, it's like, like, United or like, like, city and an arena football, it's venom. Yeah, it's Venom, yeah. Yeah, like, it's like the AFC. Yeah. Or just any, like, anything that you can fit an X into. Yeah.

There was, there was once the Dallas Vigilantes. That was one. Are you sure that it's not? That sounds like it was an XFLT. Chicago had the politicians. Roger, I'm looking at the damn Wikipedia list for a reason. Chicago had the what now? The politicians.

Oh, they're so greedy and corrupt. They're going to, I don't know, do. Hang on. How can you be corrupt? Houston has one of my favorites, the Thunder Bears. That's not a type of animal. The Thunder bears. That's beautiful.

Nashville had the cats with a K. That was a predecessor to the venom. I just found out on their Wikipedia. But here's the thing. The cat to the venom. As long as you don't have cats with them. venom so i guess you can't go kat z because then everybody thinks you're a jewish deli right yeah that's unfortunate chicago politicians um folks folks out there uh that was real yeah i didn't make that up

no i was certain you did uh it had horrible SEO because like if you search chicago politicians you get political news you do not get 1986 arena football news so that's probably why they abandoned it but that's staggering that's the worst name ever like that's something they would make up in like a movie to be like the team from like Washington like you know the underdog beats in the end no yeah I got I got the worst name New Orleans New Orleans had a team that competed in 1991 and 1992 and the name of the team was the New Orleans night as in the time of day

that's pretty good How's that good? Well, think about it. That wouldn't work for most cities. Right. But, you know, you want a mascot that's scary, that's dangerous, that it's going to take you places, you know, that you might not like where you end up. And a few things in the universe described that better than New Orleans Night. They went four and six and then oh and ten.

How about Miami Vice V-I-S-E? Like something you would torture a person with? Like, please don't sue us. We're the Miami Vice. Like the wrench thing. You could use us for woodworking. Just say it quickly. We're the Miami Vise.

The list of defunct Arena Football League franchises is like, yeah. I mean, if you put one of these align, you get at least three pages of text. Yeah. It's pretty special. It's, yeah. Oh, man. All right. We got to move on.

Anyway, watch the Arena League and CF. because they're just dumb. Hold on. Can we just get a moment of silence, please? For the Oklahoma City yard dogs? Just, just, Jason, please. I can't do it. Roger?

You've just witnessed the quiet before the store. Get them. And then Jeff Garcia's nephew goes out and throws her $700. yards or some shit. God bless you arena football. God bless you. You will never threaten the NFL. That's why you were allowed to live. Jason,

let's go to our next question. This one comes to us from Matt. Matt says sports is the Twitter handle. It's a very good one. You only have $5 to spend on food for a month. Do you live in Chinese buffet or Cece's pizza?

Oh, man. Now, Cece's pizza, I'm not sure how national they are, but just imagine extremely budget pizza buffet chain, emphasis on every one of those words, where I don't think it's like Stevie B's where you get the wacky combos where you could like sort of have a complete diet, like at least I'll have a carrot pizza. It's got vegetables on. I think Cici is more like, do you want pepperoni or pepperoni? They also have like dessert pizzas. They do have dessert pizza. Yeah.

Yeah, you get your apple pizza. That's how you get your fruit. Uh-huh. Yeah. C-C is best described as, imagine the staff of a poorly rated Lakinta was like, hey, we've been doing this breakfast thing forever. We should open a pizza restaurant. And that's what they do.

When I was in high school, when we were like, you know, you have a job and you work like eight minutes a week and you think like, oh, man, I work hard for this money. I'm going to spend it, you know, we would go and do the thing. at the CCs where like you get like four of you at a table and you have a few of you waiting outside and you the perfect crime and you gradually uh exchange members through the door so that you know eventually there's a whole new four sitting at the table um and that way you feed eight people with you know i mean shit this this fucking meal it costs like eight cents and that's about how much it's worth but still you got to save all that stuff for Pokemon cards hey man jesus fed

the multitudes with a meal meant for four people, and they called that a miracle. Take me to jail, C C Cs. Yeah, C Cs, what's your problem? It's wrong with this country. But, I mean, as far as Chinese Buffet versus C Cs, Chinese Buffet, at least it's got, you're sort of rolling the dice. You know, maybe you get an okay one. Maybe you get one that's worse than C C C's.

Well, Chinese buffet is definitely more likely to have a major health code issue than a C C C's. Sure, sure, sure, because C C Cs, there's a single point of, of oversight, where there's a Chinese buffet, maybe it's Jane, maybe it's one guy, maybe it's not even really a place, you know, but at least it's going to have vegetables. They might be a month old. They might still be, they might still be growing. I don't know. Get some protein.

You're rolling the dice. Yeah. You know, I think that's worth doing. Just please, God, don't eat CCs for a month. Here's the other. Nutritionally, do you think you can survive in either? Like, like, if you were just living there in perpetuity? wait in perpetuity or for a month

because the insanity would kill you in perpetuity yeah you're going to be like clawing at the walls what you've described is CC's life imprisonment like if you're trapped on a desert island and they have a they have a CC's yeah yeah they're like no employees it's just like a perpetually stopped CCs oh it's just the shittiest

it's just the shittiest mirage in the world it's like is that gonna keep you alive you're an ex-man and that's your power is Yeah, some in Ceces, some in dessert pizza. Like, I think, I think that'd be a delicious desert island, as opposed to most desert islands. Now, have you been to a Cici's? Okay, I actually have a college football Cici's related experience. I ate Cici's pizza once in Tampa after the 2010 Outback Bowl.

My God. Oh, wow. yes oh wow so you so let me back up you went to raymond james stadium yes which is across the ship across the street from a shitty yankee stadium knockoff yeah and um and near a bunch of strip clubs so you went there at 11 in the morning on new year's day now it's worse it's worse um like we didn't Like, so, like, my greatest Tampa, my greatest way I can summarize Tampa, not only having been in Tampa for three years, is that on New Year's, I just, like, like, threw up in, like, a pretty crowded, like, pizzeria in Ebor City. And, like, no one really, like, said anything or did anything. Well, yeah, because it's not shocking.

Oh, like, you threw up on the floor right over there, and that's just going to happen. Yeah. And then, so that ended poorly. So we went to the game, we didn't really eat anything. There were no, like, free outback items, sadly. The Northwestern ended up coming back from 14 down twice, and then losing an overtime because the kicker missed a field goal off the upright and also broke his leg on the kick, and they didn't have a backup kicker,

so they ran this weird trick play. It didn't work. and we decided that And like So we were bummed out And like there was a long wait for a taxi And we were like Okay like we don't know how Tampa

There is no Tampa public transportation so far as I can tell So we like walked a good four miles Around the airport Which is the most Desolate place in the world I have ever been And we found a Cece's pizza And we were just sad there

And ate saddesty's pizza. That all sounds about right. I don't know if you know this, but at that game, quarterback for Northwestern, Mike Kafka, set the Outback Bowl record with 532 passing yards. He also set the Outback Bowl record. Five interceptions. And you got to see Gene Chiswick on the cusp of his greatness.

And I believe the next day, Cam Newton committed to Auburn. He was like, that's it. I got to get on board of this. I can win an outback bowl here Hey man Gene Chiswick perfect in bowl games Can't say that about Sabin Can't say that about Sabin

Let's take a slight detour here We've talked about Tampa Impromptu twice now I think that this is the point Jason unfortunately Where we point out That you are in You're in Tampa

St. Petersburg as we speak Yeah I'm in the greater metro Tampa I'm in Oldsmar And when I besmirch Olsmar Tampa folks that What is the word for Tampanians? Yeah, I think that's right.

Sure. Tampaniers? Tampaniers. Tampaniers. Whenever I besmirgans. Tampanis. That's what it is. Tampots say that's not Tampa.

You know, which all that goes to show is it's totally Tampasian Devils. That's what we're called. If you Google Tampans, it Wikipedia page redirects to people from Tampa, Florida. It's like Tampins does it work. We've got to make it people from Tampa, Florida. Tarpons. We're all half. And upon entering the metro Tampa, I don't like to do the thing where it's like, oh, this town

has nothing but chain restaurants, but like, my God, like it was seriously, we passed four McDonald's before we got to our hotel and like innumerable subways is like, like people make jokes about Atlanta having a lot of chain restaurants. They ain't seen shit, man. You don't know, you don't know how many chilies we got. You can't believe a place for subways is. Subways are like mushrooms man they just like grow up wherever like they're kind of like find life yeah they're like green mold Tampa was a fun place to grow up because when people said hey let's go to Chili's you had to ask which one yeah not you had a lot of choices and you can't just say like which neighborhood no like you need a street address and then it's like well which floor

wait wait which sub basement is this Chili Zoon like our hotel there's Applebee's across the street yep there's I mean like like seriously every chain restaurant you can imagine we've passed like copies after copies of it. This place is amazing. It's like, it's like running through a cartoon chase scene down a hall where you see the same lamp over and over.

Wait a second. Except it's got jalapeno pop. These animators really mailed it in. Hold on. Tom and Jerry are going back to TGI Fridays. This is bullshit. And even like the local places that they're like,

ah, this place is ours. You got to try this place. Like there's Frenches, which I'm told is a, you know, a decent local sports bar beach thing but there's like nine of them yeah and they're like they're everywhere too yeah you know what's local beefo bradies that shit started in Tampa you know what else started in Tassan petersburg hooters somebody started that hooters started in Tampa outback started in Tampa do you know how many

times the people who started outback steakhouse had been to australia when they started their Australian themed food restaurant is it one or a few because they're you know very interested in researching and making it authentic right It's very authentic. The answer is one or fewer, I believe. The answer is goddamn zero. They had never been to Australia. So back to my earlier question.

Let's say you're stranded on a desert island, but it's actually Tampa. Tampa does have several islands. Honeymoon State Park is one of the more famous local areas. And it's basically all rocks. It's a beach park where, like, it's a beach park where, like, There's no beach. It's like you're breaking out of the Count of Monte Cristo or something. Like you're breaking out of Alcatraz.

Like the beach is all rocks. And then, you know, you look up and it's like, oh, well, the beach, the island is made from trash. So cut it, cut it a break. Then you go back and you eat it. Applebee's. But I think we found a better beach. I think it's called like Salt Sea. Salt Key, something like that.

All right, sure. Yeah. It seems like there's a better beach. We're going to give it a try. I'm not giving up on you yet, Tampa. That's, I mean, good luck. I think all places are good. That's, yeah, everywhere's fine.

I'm not complaining. It's just, you know, when you expect beach and you get rocks, you adjust. Yeah, but at least the rocks are really hot, and there's trash. So you got that going for you. And in Rogers case, you can lose the Gene Chiswick. Boy, Tampa sounds great. Why don't we all move there? Tampa's got something for everybody.

It's got something for everyone. and it's communicable. Congratulations. I was supposed to be in Tampa as well at this point. I was going to go cover the Hulk Hogan versus Gawker case trial. That's what lawyers call them case trials. I'm a smart man. But that got postponed, so I may get to go to Tampa at a later date.

Just for further Tampaness. What is the matter at dispute there? A sex tape. Now we're talking Tampa. Yeah, yeah. Because two things. The one thing that Tampa is lousy with, other than chain restaurants, is professional wrestlers. The Undertaker was very nearly my neighbor at one point, which would have been amazing from a trick-or-treating perspective.

Yeah, because he's got flipped. Yeah, oh, my God, you think, here, hey, Paul Bear, can I get a mounds? Thank you. Yeah, and like, every time you knock on a door, it's like, bong. It would have been perfect. But yeah. Oh, I wonder if the quiet before the Tampa Bay storm is based on his entrance. On Paul Bear?

Man. Well, the taker. Yeah, yeah, yeah. You know, I hear. God, that would have been magical. Not to be, though. Thank you, Tampa, for raising me and teaching me not to love. I appreciate it.

Roger, are you building something else now? What the hell? Is it a man? Rodg, did you just put on a sweater? Did you swallow your laptop? No, I was just clicking on some stuff. Like Kirby from Mario? Oh shit, he's spitting tabs at me.

Yeah, but I can take on the powers of whatever website I swallow, though. Congratulations. All right, let's move on to this question from Patty Jones at Dr. Patty Jones on Twitter. The broom seems passe. What is the new household item for top-tier QB training? I think the wet jet, the Swiffer wet jet would be pretty good because, you know, the broom, the broom does simulate, you know, the unnatural scarecrow-like arms that a defensive lineman has.

We all know that they don't have hands, they just have straw sticking out because they just got to find that wizard, damn it. And they're all extremely clean. But the wet jet, I think, would have the advantage of that same sort of length and in your face, but you could spray them, and that would simulate inclement weather conditions and also, you know, help them get clean. And, like, you know, defensive tackle Zeus bit. Oh, yeah, that's a real, oh, go gators.

That's a problem. Yeah, that sounds, go gators, go canes. Not Florida State, though, they're good. That would be my pick. What about you, gentlemen? I think I'm going to go with a chimney. A chimney. I mean, chimney is a very literal household item, I suppose.

Yeah, my house has one. It's really tall. It's really hard. If you run into it, you're taking a wallop. I don't think you use it for a mobility drill because, you know, you just scoot around it. I think it's more for a straight fire kind of drill. But if you can throw over or around a chimney and hit something without even seeing it, you know, especially if it's on fire and you're near it, which just ups the intensity. See, in my mind, I thought you were going to have George Whitfield in like a back end loader.

maneuvering a chimney around and accidentally dropping it on quarterbacks. That seems safe. Yeah, we could do that too. I was thinking just stationary, but yeah, I like it. Let's modify this plan. Okay, perfect. George, call us. We can license this to you.

Roger, is there a household item you want to? It's tougher because I don't really know any household items because I'm an idiot, 24-year-old. Let me stop you here. Roger, do you own a broom? I, uh, I, uh, Wow. Yes, I own a brewbed at a little, little sweepie. Wow.

And do you use it for cleaning up after your dog, and that's the only thing? No, I used to, we sweep. We sweep. Roger, do you own a vacuum cleaner? I don't own a vacuum cleaner. Do you own a mop? I own a swiffer. Have you ever ironed your clothes?

I don't think I've ever ironed my clothes. Roger? That was a trick question, because I'm 34 and I never have you. But I designed a QB drill, though. I want you to answer this before we get there. I want you to answer one more question, honestly. Have you ever fabrized your clothes instead of washing them? I don't know.

I genuinely have not. Okay. You're doing better than my brother then. Great. Okay. Here's my household item QB drill. You set a QB on a field and you just throw a bunch of Roombas on there. He's got to, you know, make plays in the pocket while avoiding them.

It's inspired by the QB pocket. presence drill that they had in the early Madden games where they were like little robots throwing balls at you and like you didn't know what angles they'd come and you'd have to move around they were like shooting tennis balls right no but they would like disappear once they got past you they're like magical tennis balls right so i i think i think uh if you're trying to work on your quarterback's foot speed and um you know awareness um you just set nine or ten rumbas loose out there and i don't know if if they don't like I don't really know how... They're going to need to be all-terrain Roombas. You're going to need to jack those things up, put some big tires on them so they can actually move around on grass. Grave-digger, the Roomba. I mean, why do you need to be on grass?

I guess the quarterback needs to learn how to run on grass. Man, we ain't going to have him do this in your kitchen. What kind of offense we run? That's some Georgia Tech shit right there. Especially since you don't mop it. Yeah, he's going to hurt himself. It simulates grass because it's unmopped. Actually, if he can move his feet on a right.

Roger's kitchen floor with all that stickiness. He's building up incredible leg strength and burst. Oh, you have no idea how many otter pops Roger has spilled on this floor. You're going to win a championship, son. Your feet are coated like moccasins, like, no, no, like the pain on feet that people in this continent used to use. That's what you got on your feet now. That's what you got. They're impervious to injury.

Yeah, you're like Robocoppa without power. just got to maneuver around with that heavy metal body on this sticky floor are we is do we have any more questions they want to hit before we wrap it up somebody's got to have one okay uh let's see if spencer stays there forever i don't know what in the world that means who is the last sp nation writer that would be invited on i believe i believe maybe a crook on Twitter is referring to our podcast. If one of our permanent three members were to

leave, who's last on the depth chart? Wow, this is a harsh question to answer. Yeah, yeah. I mean, probably Spencer, though, right? Whoever that is, yeah. Who is that? Given that we don't know him, I think he's like a, he writes

like, um... Do you mean the storm? Do you mean the store in the mall? He does, like, uh, MMA. He writes news desk baseball hits. Oh. Like, you know, when, like, Zach Granky's, like, uh, like, you know, ACL is torn. Do baseball players care that are ACLs? No, they don't have, that's, otherwise they play football.

That would require running. Yeah. Yeah. Like, we send it to Spencer and he, like, gets the job done, you know, like, gets it up quickly. Yeah, so it's search engines. I honestly don't know who the last person we would ask on is. Yeah, I mean, I like everybody. I mean.

But I guess. that, you know, that there would be a last, you know, and you could say like, oh, it'd be Jim Bankoff because he's too busy doing far more important things than this horrible program. That's not true. He's doing things to make this program even better every day. That's all he's doing.

He's taking meetings, telling people, hey, have you heard about shutdown forecast America's number one export? And he's talking with, you know, premium advertisers who want to advertise on premium digital content, he just presses play and then sits back and watch his money rolling

holy shit they're just throwing they're just they've they've taken out their checkbook and he and he wrote on it my first born child because that's what it takes to sponsor shutdown full cast that's why it's never sponsored that's why that's why we're never brought to you by

anything nothing because nobody can afford us it's too it's too premium of content that's why you buy an ad executive's first born child though it'd be one hell of a like do we wait until the child is born if you're going to do that go do i mean we don't want your child but we will say that we're brought to you by your child yeah jason's already got a child roger basically is a child so between those we're set

roger roger is my son wow it's nice that you let me host though it really makes me you know feel like i'm a part of the family business it's weird that roger is your son and your boss I mean, I guess that's the Lane Kiffin thing, though. Yeah, yeah. Learn from the best. Congratulations, Roger. You've been compared to Lane Kiffin. And, you know, I do keep falling up in spite of my failures.

That's kind of you. Yeah, no, that's... All right, we're going to end with this one. This one comes from Justin Ferguson at J. Ferguson BR. Jeff Driscoll was on the 2014 Maxwell watch list. Elypses. What's the worst prediction you've ever? made.

Oof. I know minus, and that is that the movie Swordfish was going to be good to go to with friends. Hmm. Let's see. Well, the first one that comes to mind for me is another movie. I think it was after Fast and Furious, Sylvester Stallone did a racing movie called Driven, where, like, they steal, like, a Formula One racer and drive it around the city

and yeah I'll put that one up there sure okay Roger worst prediction you've ever made I'm trying to think of some really bad predict I've had you know large changes of heart about like you know I'm trying to think of bad predictions the only thing that's coming to mind is the fact that I listened to system of a down when I was 12 and then I like suddenly stopped listening to it for like a few months and then I listened to it again and I was just like why did I think that this is my favorite musical band this is not very good at all and then I got rid of all their songs do you know what a prediction is I know but I'm blanking I'm blanking that's not that's not even slightly a prediction I think he's saying he

predicted predicted that I would that I would be my favorite band and that's just change of heart look if you need to find another host of the shutdown forecast in future weeks we can't do that why don't why we do that why we've worked First of all, Roger, you're fired. This is the last show you'll ever have. I realize you're in charge, but this is a mutiny.

You know, I accept it. Wow. Can I have the flare gun?