Shutdown Fullcast - Shutdown Fullcast 3.19

Episode Date: September 9, 2015

Spencer's on the road yet again, so Jason and Ryan talk about: - the aggressive expansion of the Texas League of Offensive Coordinators - what spaceships look most like genitals - creating your own haunted practice field - why Donald Trump should purchase naming rights to Iowa-Iowa State - how Navy is the team of playoff destiny - or maybe it's FIU, remains to be seen BONUS: We open the show by talking with an Alabama fan who talked shit about us on Twitter. That's probably a smart thing we did, right? Learn more about your ad choices. Visit megaphone.fm/adchoices Learn more about your ad choices. Visit podcastchoices.com/adchoices

Welcome to the shutdown fullcast. I'm your host, not Spencer Hall. I'm Jason Kirk, college football editor at SPNation.com. Joining me tonight is Ryan Nanny, who talks on YouTube. Yeah, and also, uh, if it's a free distribution channel, I'm on it. He also talks on Facebook and, um, Twitter. Yeah, I'll, you send me, you send me a C and say, and I'll, I'll record over it. If it's an off-platform video vertical monetized for today's new media landscape verticals.

Also joining us is Zach from Twitter. Zach from Twitter. Yeah, I also speak. I talk and I'm a lawyer. I'm a soccer coach and that's about it. Hey, you two are both lawyers. How did you guys meet exactly? There's a secret lawyer cruise that happens every other month out of Mobile.

It's scenic. It just gets the cause of metal. Zach is here because Spencer is not. And when Zach found this information out, Zach, I'm going to quote you here if that's okay. Yeah, that's fine. He responded, uh, if shutdown forecast normally is the godfather, shutdown without EDSBS is Geely. So my first question for you, Zach, is, have you seen Jeeley?

No, to be honest, I've actually never seen Jeeley. I've just heard it's a terrible movie. Have you seen The Godfather? I have seen The Godfather yet. Have you seen the Godfather three? I've seen it, but I don't really remember it. So Jason sort of got to the heart of my first issue, and that is number one. I understand if you want to say that this podcast is worse without Spencer Hall.

In fact, I will agree with you. but I just found the comparison confusing because there were no there's no commonality between the godfather and Gile it you know that that is true um but you know I almost went with the godfather three and I don't know I just I thought that maybe some people would think that oh the godfather three was was a great movie so I just want to yeah we can't have them thinking that we can't have I think this is still a great podcast I do love this podcast though I don't want you to get the wrong idea i mean i'm i do uh listen every week okay zach we don't know why you do that but we appreciate it we will we will forgive your your transgression with one if you have one assigned

piece of penance okay and that is in the next month i want you to watch gile and give us your honest and i want you to be fair interpretate your fair review of it if you think it's garbage it's garbage. If you think it's two stars, it's two stars. I can do it. Have you guys seen Geely? Hell no. Who would see Jeely? What a terrible idea. I don't even watch Tuesday Mac games. If you guys have me on again, I will come and I will give a very thorough review of the movie Gilee. Okay. Well, let's not get ahead of ourselves. Okay. You got it. We got to make sure you even step up and first of all, good luck finding Gile. There's a substantial possibility. You have to pay $17 to buy this on Amazon.

I'm pretty sure it's under E.T. Atari E.T. In that New Mexico Cavern. Zach, of which football team do you count yourself as a fan? You guys and the listeners are going to enjoy this.

Alabama. The rarest breed. Yes. Okay. A novel. Went there for undergrad in law school and, you know, grew up a Todd

fan did you go to law school with bud elliot um i don't what what class was he oh man i remember this is the thing i can't bud is one of those people that could be 38 and he could be 24 so i don't know and i realize he's younger than he that's that's that's all i know okay so he probably let's say let's say he's class of 0708 somewhere in that range that would have been he would have graduated right when i started so i probably he was probably a third year a 3L when I was a 1L. So you were following his legal precedent, so to speak. Yeah, absolutely right.

Did you ever hear whisperings in the hallways of the legend of Bud Elliott attorney at law? Yeah, there was a lot. There were a lot of whisperings, mostly from the female professors. I don't know what that happened about. And they were all talking about how like, you know, our strength of conditioning program is garbage. All right. So, Jason, do you have any questions you want to ask, Zach, about SEC football after week? Yeah, that's probably an easy place to start.

I just got through week one. Let's run through a few questions real quick. I figure we can keep it positive, you know, like positive developments from week one. Let's see. Oh, oh, how about quarterback play? Did you see anything on the field as far as SEC quarterbacks go? Maybe how Tennessee did against Bowling Green? um you know didn't watch didn't get a chance to watch the tennessee game because i was in

dallas because i'll tell you man josh jobs that that dude is a great football player um and credit to his university which is a great university uh and his football program yeah um and man if if my team had to play his team i'd be pretty scared and worried about that and i'd probably uh worry about that game in addition to all the ones that come between this game and that game Is that how you feel? Yeah, absolutely. I think probably Coach Saban is preparing for that one right now. I mean, forget about MTSU and Ole Miss and Georgia.

I think he's probably focusing on Tennessee right now. Well, I mean, Middle Tennessee, by definition, is, you know, like the diet of Tennessee's. Yes. They got Bill Josh Jobs, too. I worry about that defense, though, guys. Tennessee's defense, you give up that many yards and that many. points to bowling green and that's that's the classic bait and switch i mean i mean how many how many yards uh you know has been contender jacob koker going to throw for against that defense wow

who i mean i guess look i'll give i'll admit that in the strictest sense that jacob koker is an eligible college football player he is a heisman contender i will give you that yes yeah you can't see me right now but my uh tongue was definitely in my cheek that's fine that's fine i mean I will even say this, which will make you happy, Zach. He probably had a better statistical game than Jeremy Johnson did for Auburn. Yes, he did. He did. I heard that, I heard old Jeremy struggled a little bit, but Jeremy himself, he's a self-proclaimed husband contender. All right.

Jason, let's end our conversation with Zach by talking about, I think, the most important topic from an Alabama fan perspective right now, and that of course would be Ohio State's schedule. Mm-hmm. Right, right. Zach, if you had to, if you had to rate Ohio State's schedule in terms of difficult physical activity, is this helping a friend move, is this climbing a mountain, is this, you know, what strenuous, what strenuous thing does the Buckeye schedule compare to? I would say it's, uh, it would compare to a walk of about 50 feet in a 72 degree

afternoon. People get hurt that way, though. I mean, that's pretty strenuous exercise in certain states. Wow. Wow. Jason went there. All right. I didn't mention any states. That's fine. He could have meant anyone. He probably met Colorado. Yep. It was a bunch of fat asses. Zach, any last comments or questions you want to add

before we let you go? No. Just, you know, I came here, you know, I came on the podcast because I thought y'all were going to surprise me and have Spencer on so that he could answer some fantasy football questions for me. But sadly, I'm disappointed that he's not here to answer those. Wow, I'm still dropping bombs on us. We'll give you his email. He's very excited to respond to that. Zach, before we let you go, can you give us one good roll tide, please?

Roll tide. All right, so, that was Zach. Thanks to him for joining us and for hating on Twitter. Powerful lesson there. Yeah, I mean, hate on Twitter and people will respond to you. Big things can happen. Big things can happen. That's how Peter joined the apostles.

We're so goddamn stupid. People are nice to us on Twitter all the time. we never like hey come on the podcast somebody talks shit and compares us to a ben affleck movie nobody saw and we're like all right let's here here's your chance well it's just inefficient to try to you know to try to bring in the ones who are already in the circle that's true you got to reach out to those who are in that circle of untrustables that's true so we sort of i feel like i trust that now we're evangelizing yeah the uh the good news of uh soundcloud i don't know man Lord and Savior.

Lord and Savior SoundCloud where you can comment right when the beat drops. Yeah. And you can say, oh, shit, I'm running around my house right now. Hennessy, you did it again. So, week one. Who? Did you like it? I did.

It was a good mix of unexpected and also teams that you hoped would look strong, looking strong. what would you say caught you most off guard hmm probably the the bowling green player who was waving his shoe in the air since no one no one would no one would get him out of that situation he took it upon himself to collapse

it was stricken down with a case of his shoe fell off that was probably what caught me the most off guard but as far as you know teams and performances um Texas A&M's defense probably they were real good i don't i mean i you know you have high hopes for chavis and and muschamp as well flipping around those c cuss defenses but even even having high hopes for him eventually getting it right i did not see it happening that quickly we'll see if it can sustain but you know for for a week

one that was very impressive meanwhile we give john hoke no credit for turning around that south carolina defense i'll tell you what man anytime the other team's quarterback uh gifts you two interceptions in place of touchdowns. That is nothing but X's and O's, my friend. That's just getting after it. That's just wanting it more. You just outcoached that other team.

That was, I will say, as much as a lot of things were surprising about week one, South Carolina winning a game in which they absolutely looked like ass is a tradition I embrace. They're your drunk uncle at Thanksgiving. You're like, oh,

you can't change. This is just who you are. We should probably nickname that game, like the Hall of Fame game, like the NFL has, just that detestable preseason opener that everyone's pumped for. Right. And then, like, the good players play about eight minutes. And, yeah, I was going to say, much like the Hall of Fame game, it features a bunch of players that you probably won't watch after this.

Half these rosters aren't really going to do anything anyway. Yeah. The thing that surprised me most was probably Stanford laying a hell of an against Northwestern. Yeah, I mean, I feel like that sort of continued things that had been, like, major looming problems. Like, I mean, how many times could that defense bail out that offense? I agree.

Now that half that defense is gone. I agree, and if Stanford had lost, like, 17 to 21, I maybe would buy that. Stanford scored six points. Yeah. Six. Yeah. That's pretty damn bad. And that's with an experience.

quarterback man experience means nothing is the lesson yeah experience is really stupid has stanford trotted out a what fourth year quarterback yeah meanwhile texas an m is you know flipping between new guys and you know and UCLA trotted out a trip shot out a trip shot out a player whose last game was high school he was born in 1997 what were you doing in 1997 uh let's see i was uh well i was wearing really big pants i know that much absolutely Janko life. Probably right around there. I might have been putting up with ska at the point, at that point.

Oh, okay. I was going to get swing dancing. Well, the girls really liked it. So you kind of had to, you know, you kind of had to familiarize yourself with it, but it wasn't anything like, you know, to be listened to. So there's a substantial chance that Josh Rosen was conceived to ska music. Yes. The mighty, mighty boss tones, UCLA owes a great debt to them.

So let's talk about a surprising thing that happened after week one, and that would be, or just earlier this evening before we started recording, Texas made an interesting choice. Jason, can you explain what is going on and why Texas now has a orphanage worth of offensive coordinators? Okay, so Charlie Strong came over to Texas, brought with him his boy from Louisville, Sean Watson, who replaced a previous offensive coordinator there. That's one offensive coordinator. He also poached Oklahoma State offensive line coached who got the actual title offensive coordinator. And at some point also took the former play caller coordinator, some said from Oklahoma, J. Norville, as his receivers coach this past weekend due to only scoring three points at Notre Dame, the third straight game with 10 points or fewer.

Sean Watson is now quarterback's coached, wide receiver. Devers coach is now the play caller, and Texas fans seem to indicate that Wickline is no longer the coordinator, even though it still is title. So in my eye, you have at least two offensive coordinators right now and three total for the season. Approaching, yeah, I was going to say, it's approaching three. If we round up, it's three. It's, well, I mean, it's three different people have done things that anyone would think of as offensive coordinator things within the past two days so yeah you know you know what the next

step is after this if things don't improve in like i don't know just three weeks yeah just get rid of the whole offense now tim beckman bring him in yeah why not fourth offensive coordinator isn't he like a safety's coach in that his background i don't think that matters no no no not at all i don't think that matters i'm just thinking if he'd be into it oh tim beckman's going to need that job he's into a lot of stuff. He seems pretty agreeable. They got lasagna in Texas? Well, you got to pay for it.

Well, that's fine. Yeah, I just, I don't know. This is what scares me. Charlie Strong loses badly to Notre Dame. A Notre Dame team that maybe is really good. I don't think we totally know that. And God knows, Notre Dame fans are not really eager to jump on that bandwagon. No, they don't like it. They don't like it at all.

Don't look at me. I'm hideous. It makes it really fun to say they're going to be good. And also because Notre Dame games broadcast on NBC are excellent appointment viewing. NBC Sports, best in sports. Boom, boom, boom. But yeah, I think Notre Dame is going to be really good. I just, I did not see them scoring 38 points on what was a top 10 defense. Go look at the numbers last year.

And you could say that, yeah, the defense didn't get any help from the offense, but still. They averaged, like, Melissa Ayer had three in completions. Yeah, Texas has big problems on both sides of the ball. The offense was pure ass. The defense was just, you know, off its game. 2% ass. Yeah, not that whole member. Skim ass.

But it's just Charlie Strong's reaction to all of this, including this, hey, let's add a third offensive coordinator, it feels very well, must champ. It feels very well must champ. We'll see how this goes, I guess. guess but like what is the upside like like yeah yeah i mean you know maybe maybe they're better play calling but to me that's that's secondary to development you know that's secondary to the players you're sending out there and they still don't have a quarterback it's the same quarterback's going out there they're just going to be throwing to different routes well yeah it feels it's kind of like

they've decided to put on their own small version of the bachelor and longhorn network if you're listening you should absolutely turn this into your own personal version of the bachelor because at the end of the day they can't have three offensive coordinators next year right like so at least one of these guys is getting fired or leaving for a different job or maybe it goes great and two of them get better jobs else no that's not going to happen but like there's no sister wives outcome here no no there are co-o-c situations i mean it worked pretty well for tCU last year sure sure i'll give you two you're not getting three you're not getting three three that was with you know two guys who ran the same coherent system you know who very clearly had a clear vision that matched here we're

talking about like one guy coming from louisville where they just ran like let's score 11 points and hold the other team to 10 one coming from oklahoma state which runs everything you know and uh one coming from oklahoma which also runs everything so like there is no common theme here at all and that shows on the field maybe maybe there's coherence going forward just as far as play calling go but they still don't have an offensive line and we have no clue if there's any hope at quarterback so this will be fun sweet uh staying in the big 12 jason kirk was was the kansas state band making a dick you know uh based on based on the visual evidence.

It sure looked like it. And then after their explanation, you go back and look pretty closely. And we had a story by James Dater at SB Nation where he actually looked at what an actual Starship Enterprise actually looks like. And there's sort of a dangling appendage there that just shouldn't be there.

And like, this is actually a good band. This isn't the kind of band that would just fuck something like that up. like Roger Sherman found that they won some band award last year like this is an actual competent band so if something like that is messed up you're gonna

you're gonna wonder if it was meant to be or not and if it's flying right into your rival's mouth that's pretty good evidence and then when the school comes out and punishes the band director doesn't say it doesn't say that was a dick but hits him with that was a dick punishment

That was a dick Like when I first saw it It was like oh okay This looks like they just messed it up And it just happens to look funny But every single thing that's happened since then Suggest that it was a dick Just is another piece of evidence

On the dick pile Here's my thing If you know anything about space And spaceships You know that most spaceships Are pretty phallic Like you use an Apollo era Rocket ship with boosters and all that

or even a space shuttle. It kind of looks like a dick, right? Yeah. They picked the spaceship in all of fiction that probably looks the least like a penis. Yeah. I mean, in their one in Star Trek, that's just a box? Yeah, that sounds right.

I don't know. Okay. Well, I guess that's also sexy, too. Somebody's real mad right now. It might be Zach. I'm sorry, Zach. The thing that I, that, the thing that messes with the plausible liability here is it wasn't shooting.

It wasn't like firing missiles, even though that could have been a little too sexy as well. But like it wasn't, when in the world is a spaceship going to ram something? Then we all die. I mean, I get Kansas State hates Kansas and would probably be fine with that. But I just don't see any way that a spaceship would go ram a bird when you can just shoot it. Especially a giant bird. Especially at Kansas Jayhawk. At that point, what's it going to do?

If you're a responsible spaceship captain and you're like, oh shit, there's a giant cartoon bird that looks vaguely like the racist birds from Dumbo. I think I think answer one is I should lie down. You just said, you just called the Jayhawk racist and like every Missou fan just like got out of their chairs and started clapping. I told you, we're not the only ones with a problematic history. And then they burned something down for no reason. It burns a big down.

But yeah, I mean, I don't know. That's not what a responsible captain would do. He'd be like, hey, is, are y'all seeing this? That's, that's a big bird, right? Should we ram it? I feel like ram it is not the first option. Ram it in the mouth. Rave it in the mouth.

Shove our spaceship down its throat. Let's shoot our way out. I don't know. I don't know what happens next. We figure it out once we get in there. At that point. I mean, in fairness, it was not the worst thing that happened to Kansas on Saturday. No.

It's a distant second. Man. I will. you don't really sucks about how that game ended for Kansas what really what so so for those who weren't paying attention Kansas lost to South Dakota State go Jackrabbits when they were unable at the end of the game

I think down three to spike the ball in South Dakota State territory because the snap was mishandled and the quarterback going to retrieve the snap on what was supposed to be, the clock stopping play, grabbed the ball with his knees on the ground. So obviously the clock ran Kansas was not able to get a playoff after that.

What sucks is that those refs, I would say, I'll be generous. I'll say 60% of the time, the minute the ball is snapped, they're blowing the whistle because they know, like, they know what happens. Yeah, this is, I mean, of all the plays, this is the ultimate gamey play. Like, Pac-12, Pac-12 reps, Pact 12 refs would have blown the play dead and maybe given them 10 yards as well. But these refs did their job right, and that fuck Kansas over big time. The fact that they knew, wait, wait, Kansas might fuck this up.

And literally, the act of throwing the ball at the ground, that's an incomplete pass. I hope, I hope like this. That is fucking up on purpose. Kansas can't even fuck up on purpose. I hope the side judge walked over it at the head raff. I was like, told you they fuck up. I hate, I don't trust this team far as they can throw a football, which is the ground beneath them. Told you they were running the fucky-up offense.

And they did. Speaking of terrible offenses that couldn't do anything, right? Let's talk about Penn State. Oh. Deep disquiet in the pit of my stomach. I am putting together this week in Chattin-Froida. Penn State is on there. you will not be surprised to learn.

Right. You, there's a lot of talk on there about how Penn State fans really respect Matt Rule, Temple Head Coach, for not running it up on him. I miss that. Oh, oh, oh, in your story, I get it now.

Wow. That's some good stuff. Yeah, it's, mm. I don't even have a joke. I don't have any comment or anything. Now, where do you think Matt Ruhle played his college football? He did play for Joe Paterno, did he not? He did.

So even when Penn State loses, oh, man, it's about the greatness of Penn State. Joe Paul still, you know, Joe brought him up right, didn't he? The spirit lives, even, if you lose to a Joe Pah boy, it's almost like you won, really. Just feels like you won. Hey, that's another one for Joe. It's an honorable death. James Franklin is. I think we got 410 now.

Yeah, I think that counts. That probably needs to count. But they did decide to do an interesting team-building exercise today after the Temple game, in which they gave up 10 sacks, I believe it was? It was 10. 10 sacks. Including one in which there were three down Temple linemen, and one left the line. Yeah.

There were, Penn State had three times as many blockers as Temple head rushers. and potential number one draft pick Christian Hakenberg went I feel like at this point when you say potential number one draft pick Christian Hakenberg that's like saying former number two USF yeah it just feels like a funny thing to put his front of his name that's kind of mean I am yeah I'm putting it in the way I am looking at it in the same way that like former big board member Matt Berkeley it feels that way that's not that's not good for you Penn State but they They were so disgusted, so disturbed by this game, so disappointed in their own effort, that they went out to the practice field.

And they said, damn it, it's 2015. Get a shovel. We're going to bury this game tape. Are there electronic copies? I can't imagine there are. I can't imagine that it's all over the internet and the broadcasting rights already existed and were given to someone else. I can't imagine. Listen, listen, if you're a temple fan,

how are you not inundating the Penn State Athletic Department with DVDs of this right now? Hey man, I made a flipbook. If Temple has any sort of an aerial presence, an Air Force, a balloon, a Zeppelin, anything, just go bomb that practice field with DVDs. Hey, man, you need a mini-disc?

I got that. People can still see it. People can still see it. Hey, this is on I-O-Mega-Zip. You're welcome. like just send it to them in every format possible oh you like them big floppies the five and a quarter yep got it on that took about 30 but it's all there i do kind of feel though like if you watch it it's probably watching the ring like that's probably why they got rid of it like if you if you actually sit down and try to watch penn state's offense sure like i don't know what crawls out of the screen at you but it's going to take a while because it's only going to gain like one yard at a time but eventually it's going to get to you Here's the thing, though, if you had a cursed item, like the game tape of losing to Temple and getting completely destroyed on the offensive line, burying it is a choice, and I understand that. But why would you bury it where you live?

Why would you bury it at your house? Like, that's the dumbest shit I've ever heard. That's like horror movies don't work that way. You hide it somewhere else so that unsuspecting campers, I don't know, maybe a Rutgers, comes upon. it and says hey let's watch this tape and then they're all dead i don't know maybe uh maybe that way you can keep an eye on it i don't know you know whatever emerges from it it's it's it's that you know can see it that way that's true and it's going to it's only going to lumber and shuffle it's not anything that's going to like you know really dart at you it's just going to roo you got time to finish

practice so it's it's of the jason school the horror monster not the you i should make clear although now that i think about it jason does have the same like He probably loves Arkansas and Utah. They just keep coming. They just do their job quietly and just keep coming. Not about speed. Yeah, that's true. Just being about unstoppable and avenging, I don't know.

Your mother's death, it's unclear. I didn't watch these films. He went to hill. He did go to hell and space, just like Kansas State. So, anyway, we're talking about Penn State. Oh, my God. Yeah, here's another one where, um, how does this? get better. And like one thing is, yeah, they're facing Temple, which is a really, really gross

matchup for Penn State because there's no upside. Like Penn State's biggest weakness, the offensive line, matches up really terribly with the mid-major team's defense that is like legit good and returned everybody. Right. So like there's no way for that not to be embarrassing. You still don't want to give up 27 points and you want to score more than 10. But like there was no way for this to go impressively for Penn State. No. But like, surely there's some other big 10 teams of defense is as good as temples. Yeah, it's going to be, it's going to be an interesting season.

You might want to take a look at that game film, whether it's cursed or not. Here's the shit. If you're Penn State and you're thinking like, I think we got to fire our offensive coordinator, who are you going to hire? They're all at Texas now. They're hoarding. They're hoarding. It's like the Oregon Trail.

You're going to have to trade some wagon axles and some clothing. Brutal That's the Steve Patterson move right there Offensive coordinators 895 Or best offer You want to do some reader questions Before we get to week two

Yeah let's do it All right you got one you want to start with Or you want me to throw it out Yeah I'll let's see I'll hit one that's just a good comment And then I'll hit a question from G butter snaps Brendan underscore 11

Do you think Louisville wearing Mimau's decorative plates his helmets. So that's a bad precedent for player safety. I'm just going to say that's a good way to describe those helmets. They did look like that. If you didn't see him, go look them up. Also, from Joker Strength on Twitter, who is this year's

2007 USF? I forgot, I already mentioned them, but this here's a 2007 USF show. Oh, man, you said it three times. Now they're totally going to get us. This being the team that comes out of absolutely nowhere to rank way up high. That was the year where Kansas and Missou

and West Virginia and various other teams also ranked up there but that's not the craziest thing in the world I guess Kansas is but USF is like is this even a real school at that point and this point sorry Jim Levitt he did some things so this year you know it's

you need three things here you need probably a non-power you need a team with just a schedule that just sneaks up on you you know where you just look up and holy shit this team's got 10 wins, and you need, you know, an actually good team. The three contenders I see, one is basically the same as last year. It's Marshall. Okay.

The only problem being that they still don't have any actually good teams. They just got past Purdue, and that's not going to count for much unless Purdue really surprises and is a bowl team. The other two, each would have to pull an upset. There's Navy at Notre Dame, and there's Appalachian State at Clemson. I think both of those teams are really good Navy when I do my bowl projections each week I got a board where I keep track of wins and losses and it is hard finding enough losses

for Navy not to be a top 25 team unless they get upset at some point there's at Notre Dame at Memphis at Houston if they win one of those games then it seems pretty likely to me they're a 10 and 2 team so let's just say Navy upsets Notre Dame which they've done before

there's a very good chance at the end of the year where the playoff committee is like what the fuck do we do with navy we can't let this team in especially because they won't they technically i believe the playoff committee makes all its decisions before the army navy game right right they've actually they worked out a contingency for this like this off season where if navy is in the running they're just gonna wait so it's a self-fulfilling prophecy they're gonna wait to make sure they beat army which okay but yeah yeah i mean i can't really see Navy going on a pretty good run. You know, they usually seem to have one or two games where just the same thing happens to them as they do to other teams. It's like, ah, you shouldn't have lost that game. But they got a good quarterback, you know, they can beat anybody. But let's see, the other team is upstate and, you know, they return a ton.

They really turn it on last year. If they find a way to upset Clemson, I guess this week, you know, that's a Clemson that's still a little iffy at quarterback. We don't know if Deshaun is, you know, if he can stay healthy. He's only had a few really good games. They just lost their best receiver, still replacing a ton on defense. I'm not going to pick App State, but if App State gets past Clemson, the table's pretty set. That's their only hard non-conference game.

So I would say I would throw out those three as the likeliest contenders. All right, I'm going to throw out one more just because I'm a dick. Florida International. Boom. Yeah, they just beat UCF. They play Indiana this week. Oh. And then after that, like, it's just the rest of their conference USA schedule,

which has some teams on it. You know, they will have to play Louisiana Tech and all everything quarterback Jeff Dreskell. Uh-huh. They will have to play Marshall. They will have to play Old Dominion, which went into eastern Michigan and ground out a win. I mean, if you can drag UCF into the deep water and come out with a 15-14 win. I mean, UCF's about as good as any of those teams, Indiana included. Damn, that's cold.

What, you see it? I'm sorry, that's probably rude to USF, but. That's fine. No, I understand what you're doing. Okay, let's go with this question. This is from Pete Mortensen at more Pete. why is FSU ducking Northwestern? Been wondering that.

You know, it's a good question because who do the Knowles have at a conference this year? They just beat Texas State. Sheesh, I'll tell you what. Any FSU fan who's making fun of Ohio State's schedule should be quiet. Look carefully at their own. So they just beat Texas State.

Yeah. They're going to play USF. Mm-hmm. And then the rest of the season, they have the following road games, Boston College, Wake Forest, Georgia Tech, which, yeah, that's the jet, Clemson, yeah, that's the jet, and Florida, which, no, no. So, yeah, I'm not, I'm not wildly impressed by this schedule either. And when do they go to Chicago's true Big Ten team? Oh, does not happen. They could have, on Saturday, November 21st, when they don't have a conference opponent.

You know who they're playing instead? Chattanooga. Chattanooga. If Florida State has an ounce of character, an iota of self-respect and love of the game, they will cancel that game with Chattanooga and play Northwestern. Go to Shy Rack, son. That's not even halfway to Chicago. Yeah.

even if you walk it back to actually Evanston which is not Chicago don't do this I'm sorry don't do this Jason you have one more question for us yes let's see here

from Jake Whitaker at Jake Whitaker how many SEC teams will schedule Lightning Storm for a non-conference game after lightning storm is the team that battled Florida to a draw last year and this year held up impressively

against LSU is currently 0-0 after a two-game tour through the SEC. Lightning Storm has yet to be scored upon. I think the fact that Lightning Storm, due to its own conference schedule, can only have four conference games, means the answer is four. It's just going to be just the maximum possible amount of teams going after Lightning Storm.

Did you see the LSU, their AD is claiming they're going to lose, I think, 1.5 to 3 million due to Lightning Storm based on, according to how much they can get back from the insurance. Yeah, but think about how much Lightning Storm is going to use that money to build its facilities, improve its recruiting. Listen, I hate when people talk down on not scheduling Lightning Storm because, you know, entire local communities depend on Lightning Storm having those funds come through from the bigger programs. That's right.

That funds a lot of scholarships. That's absolutely true. I mean, I know several people who went to Lightning Storm. They're good folks. I just respect the hell out of them. They are made of status. I should point that out. They're so fast, though.

So goddamn fast. So goddamn fast. Let's do one more question before we get to week two. This is from Some Guy, that is his handle, on Twitter at AGD-O-3. His question, I am an Aggie. How much longer can I enjoy the ongoing clown show at Texas without becoming a bad person? I think this is a pretty easy question. And the answer is, as long as you don't play them, keep enjoying it.

As somebody who has been on both sides of a declining rivalry, both the team watching the formerly great rival sort of wither away and the withering away team, it only eats at you because that rivalry is something you watch every year. And you would, in some part of you, like it to be good. or like that team to be good so that if you whip them 42 to 3, it means something. It's not just beating up on a shitty team that barely makes a bowl game. Yeah, it actually hurts them. But A&M and Texas ain't playing.

You got to go get something. So it literally doesn't impact you in a meaningful way, so just keep hating. This is like when the U.S. and Russia wouldn't sell it on the field. That's right. So all they had was message board battles. in the Caribbean and Southeast Asia. Mm-hmm. And, you know, they boycotted each other to the Olympics.

I'm not saying Texas A&M should organize its own Olympics games and not invite Texas. But I am saying that'll get on SEC network. Let us see, A&M. I mean, I'm trying to find a reason why A&M would not be Russia and Texas would not be America. And that's not a compliment to Texas. No, no. And it's not necessarily a diss to Texas A&M. Right, right.

I just see, like, you know, the, the, the, the, the, the, the, the, the, the, the, the, the, the, the, the, the, the, the, the, the, the, the, the, the, the, a culture of A&M, you know, I can just, I can just picture Putin, like, marching with the cadets and all that, and, like, you know. Like, like, Laika, like, was the first, you know, first, calli in space. And then, like, Texas, all they gave a shit about is money, you know? Right. Right. And, like, not actually caring about anything, kind of just showing up, you know. So, anyway. Yeah, at this point, Texas thinks they have scoreboard over A&M because the last time they played football, Texas won.

But I think anyone who's been paying attention knows that A&M has scoreboard at this point. They have not played each other. But, like, everything that has happened since then has gone A&M's way. So to me, if you're an A&M fan, have no shame at all. Yeah. Just keep piling on until they can't. can't take it anymore, and they actually play, because then it would be good for everybody. If anything, room for them to get worse, because then A&M can colorably say,

oh, we don't play Texas because we don't want to water down our schedule. And God damn, wouldn't that feel great if you're an Aggie fan? Oh, my God. If A&M's AD came out and said, No, we think. Well, we play one challenging team non-conference that year, and otherwise, we felt it would be good to share the Aggie love with some of these smaller programs around the state. just felt nc state was a more competitive program for us to face hey listen we play that year we

play sam houston state rice and texas it's just it's just good to uh good to support local programs we're always we're big fans of texas football and we do it we can to to enrich it throughout the state no matter how far away it may be from uh from from from quality militaristic uh cult discipline it doesn't matter if they play in a big conference or in a conference at all or whatever texas is in hey listen even if they're even if they're an independent like our friends in Austin that you say independent

we say poor homeless man they're essentially the same thing they're kind of a rich homeless man like they got just got a really great Winnebago but nowhere to put it no gas and no wheels because they basically got a battleship that's like stuck in a canyon you laugh but they would

absolutely take that a quarterback right now but battleship in. Canyon battleship. Swoops isn't working out. Put Canyon Battleship in. Let him give him a shot at least. He's literally a battleship stuck in a canyon.

Whatever can't be worse than Swoops. And that was my Texas impression. I love you Longhorn fans. Jason, let's look at week two a shrill. Like, this is what happened. We got on the interstate of week one, and we hit the gas, baby. We were flying. It felt great.

Wind was in our hair. We were listening to the alt-rock song of our choice. Things are wonderful. Week two? Oh, man. Yeah, it's a little backed up on the interstate. This week really goes to show how bullshit the first month or so of this sport is. Because week one, it was like, yeah, there's like, you know, six really good games.

And then a bunch of stuff where you kind of hope a cool vine emerges. This week, for the really good games, it's not quite six. but maybe we'll get even more vines. Can you, all right, let's, all right, let's agree on what the actual good games are on this schedule. In no particular order, one of them is Mississippi State LSU, correct? Yeah, I'd put that up there. Mississippi State looks fine, looks decent, and LSU got tripped up by Lightning Storm. I'm excited to see how they do against a less formidable,

opponent. Oklahoma, Tennessee has some promise, although unclear, as our previous call-in, calling guest Zach pointed out, how good Tennessee's defenses at this juncture. Yeah, I would agree that game is up there. That would be good no matter what. Right. The best game is probably Oregon, Michigan State. Sure. Might be the biggest game of the season so far. Also both teams with more questions than they had at this point when they played last year, but that has potential to sort of be a, uh, each team picking apart the other's weaknesses. So I don't necessarily have a problem with that. But, and, uh, I don't know, Boise State, BYU you might be good. It's a real big question what BYU does now that they, uh, have lost

their quarterback again. And Boise State didn't look all that great dispatching with Washington at home. It's sort of the junior Oregon, Michigan state. Because it's two teams where it's like, Yeah, I don't know if they looked all that good in week one. Like, even BYU, you know, they scored the win in Nebraska, but probably shouldn't have. Yeah, it's a, and then like the fifth biggest game, I mean, you know what it is. You know what it is. I don't want to say it. You know what it is.

I know what it is. 445 in the PM in the Eastern time zone. That's not noon? No, man. It's not at like 1130 Eastern, 10, 10 a.m. local? This is prime early bird dinner. Man, the CBS game is doomed. You go to your local Hibachi restaurant, you ask them, put on Elassico.

And they will, and then they'll fleb a shrimp right into your cockpit, right to your drink. Iowa, at Iowa State. This is the fifth biggest game of the weekend. Unquestionably. It's not even like, like, we say a lot of dumb things on the full cast. It just is. This just is. Like, they both won their game.

games last week against pretty good FCS teams and they both looked fine doing it and they hate each other and kind of won't admit it or whatever but this is the fifth biggest game of the weekend that's amazing so I'm on a I'm on stub hub right now for this game this game is being played in Ames at jack trice stadium uh give me give me a rough section of the stadium that you would you would be interested in. Tell me if you want to sit 50 yard line, if you want to sit, you know, somewhere in one of the corners, lower bowl, upper wall, and I'm going to see how accurately you can guess what a ticket is going for on step-up. Okay. I'll tell you where I like to sit. I like to sit corner, upper, like, very first row

right there. Okay. To me, that's like, it's like a perfect perch over everything. All right, so we're going to put you in section B, and you want to be pretty far down in that row, right? Yeah, as close as I can get. So I can do, I can do row 10 for you. Mm-hmm. Okay. How much are you willing to pay per ticket for upper corner, 10th row at El Asico? How much am I willing to pay? Yeah, yeah.

What do you think is fair market price? I'm going to quote you the lowest available. Okay. Let's say it's going for $80. $150. $150. I was halved. Give me one more.

Let's see if you can do a little better. I'll do the opposite corner. Okay, so you still want to sit in the other corner. You want to sit low as well, right? Give me dead center on the 50, close as I can get. But you want to be up or a lower deck? Lower. Lower. I want to smell it. You want the good seats. Okay.

All right. So we're going to put you in Section 8. That's pretty good. I can get you to... You want to be row 4, or you want to be a little further back than that? I'll take 4. I'll take 4, yeah. All right. You ready, buddy? How much you're paying for these Primo? section 8 row 4 beautiful

the ASICO El ASICO is yours how much you pay in per ticket I'm going to guess 375 Ooh you you overbid a little 340

Oh pretty close 340 The lowest price by the way For any ticket According to Stebhub which is not a sponsor Although if they want to throw us money That's great

$98 To get into El Asico God So if you and a buddy want to go to see Iowa Iowa State just to get in the door that's 200 big ones

These people care They care a lot And you know what The Sirehot Trophy is at stake You know who else is going to be there right Yeah yes Someone who has also defeated an FCS opponent So to speak

That's Mr. Donald Trump That's going to be in the house Someone who knows the Who understands You know It's good that tickets for this game are all in the triple digits. So premium to keep out the rabble.

Donald Trump really understands what tasteful uses of money are. Alaska is a premium product that the haters and the losers just can't understand. Everyone loves Iowa, Iowa State. Who doesn't? Boise State, BYU is a disgusting game full of feminists. Rosie O'Donnell is at the Oregon game this weekend. I would be very in favor of Donald Trump purchasing rights to El Asico. And just renaming it like Trump Bowl.

Trump Bowl, that's exactly what he would call it. Trump Bowl. And the trophy is, I guess you get to meet him or something. Yeah, you get to fly around with a helicopter in him for five minutes. And that's it. Over Iowa. And then he lists his favorite biblical characters. Well, I love xenomorph queen.

She's great. this is so Iowa very Iowa um is there any other game that we should talk about in week two good god um here's let's do this

find me one game that might be sneaky interesting I realize this is hard I realize I didn't prep you at all for this there is okay Toledo Arkansas and I say this not just because I'm an Arkansas fan

Toledo should be pretty good They should have a decent defense And they should have a sort of a mat-grade offense In Arkansas, I feel like they look good against U-TEP But I feel like we don't quite know Their passing game And we don't quite know If their defense is fortified

After losing a bunch So the Rockets Rockets could put some points up It's about as far as I'll go there But let's see Notre Dame at Virginia I mean Virginia just got lit up by another young quarterback, and we'll probably put up even fewer points against Notre Dame,

probably, but you never know? Kentucky, South Carolina? That was the one I was hoping you'd bring. We have two, the SEC's probably the SEC's two greatest chaos teams. Right. Would you say that? Yeah, I think the potential for complete anything is there with both of those. I mean, I feel like Auburn is like...

Especially when they play each other. Auburn's a chaos team, but they're actually... good these two teams it's just like i don't know what's going to happen but it's going to be weird right um there's one more game i want to highlight here and that's at 3 30 and i believe our colleague and good friend and former mystery guest brian m floyd is going to this game oh no as washington state at ruckers don't do it brian m buddy well now they were talking about the uh the wazoo that just lost to portland state Portland State.

Right. After the first half, they decided, you know what? Fine, we'll do it your way. We'll run the ball. We'll run the ball like 25 times. You barely even throw it. And then, well, that didn't work, did it? That was just illogical.

We're orally up 10-0. That's not enough. Clearly, that didn't work. We better get back to what we do. Yeah. And heading up to play Rutgers. Piscataway. Which I think in the past, what, month or so,

Rutgers has lost, what, like, four? defensive backs. Yeah. They're... Including their best one. The one, the one, oh, man. So like, poor Kyle flood. It gets out there, like, playing wazoo ball.

That could be dangerous, but I don't... But they just lost to a, like, a meh, FCS team. And Rutgers is Rutgers, but Rutgers just tune the shit out of an FCS team. Based on the FCS precedent, this is going to go bad for the coobs. Like, Brian, I don't know if you're listening to this. Don't do this. Can you drink in Rugger Stadium legally? Are you suggesting that Wazoo fans care about the legal part?

I mean, I know they will. I'm just trying to figure. I don't believe they have alcohol sales in the stadium now. Okay. But it also, like, security is not super heavy. Do you think that Kug fans will, let's see. So I've never been in right around that area. You've scouted it out yourself.

It's beautiful. I've been twice. How do you think the alcohol reserves will hold up to angry Kook fans? I can tell you that Rutgers fans are wholly un-by and large are wholly unprepared for what is going to happen. Yeah, that's all I'm interested in here. That's my key matchup is the Rutgers liquid reserves. It's entirely possible that midway through the game, if Rutgers is winning, Washington State will forcibly commandeer, part of the stadium and turn it into a microbrewery and just never relinquish it we'll just be like yeah

you want to go to a ruckers game we can also get some really good rebel brew we'll also get some washington alcohol what that's the name yeah that's the name of it so we didn't want to take the time to name it they're so fucking depressed they didn't want to name it Washington alcohol because you'll all die one day go cooaks