Shutdown Fullcast - Shutdown Fullcast 3.26.0

Episode Date: October 25, 2015

The quick reaction edition of the Shutdown Fullcast was made obsolete just an hour after it was recorded thanks to the firing of Al Golden at Miami. We publish nevertheless, with reactions and hearty guffawing at the idea of how good Al Golden's hair looked at even the lowest points of his Miami tenure. Topics include: --The aforementioned assbeating of Miami at home, and yes how great Al Golden seemed to look the whole time despite that. --Did you see Florida State lost? YOU SHOULD PROBABLY LISTEN TO HOW BAD FLORIDA STATE LOST. --A discussion of how optimistic Tennessee fans could and should be despite losing to Alabama again. --A quick review of how bad USC whooped up on Utah, and why this undoubtedly means USC loses next week because the Pac-12 is full of gremlins and everyone must lose a fight to at least two of them in a full season. Learn more about your ad choices. Visit megaphone.fm/adchoices Learn more about your ad choices. Visit podcastchoices.com/adchoices

Welcome to the shutdown fullcast. You're wondering, why am I listening to this on a Sunday? Or maybe if you get to it the next day on Monday. Well, because we thought it's kind of slow to talk about stuff on Wednesday. Why don't we talk about stuff that happened on Saturday on Sunday, like normal people do? We're faking being normal. But we thought we'd give it a try. For instance, my co-host, Jason Kirk, what did we get to watch yesterday?

We got to watch a four-overtime game. Two ACC games, right? We got to watch Duke and Virginia Tech continuing their ACC coastal battle for an extra two or three hours. And we also got to watch Auburn and new ACC team Arkansas do the same. Congratulations, Arkansas.

It's really impressive how well Arkansas has transitioned to the ACC. To beat a traditional Atlantic Coast power like Auburn with all their rich ACC tradition, that's just impressive. I mean, we know about Auburn and Clemson and their long-standing ACCC rivalry. I really feel like Arkansas and Boston College

need to work something out. Dude off? A dude-off. Dude-fite. Dude fight. Who can win a game with field goals and lose with touchdowns? I feel like this needs to be like a headbutt trophy.

Yeah, this is definitely two coaches that get shirtless and fight, but not with any fists. It's all just grapples. Yeah, grapples. Yeah. The grapple cup. Ground game.

strong just like a turkish wrestling match except it's in like uh i don't know what's the most ac c restaurant is it cookout or bo jangles it's bo jangles like turkish wrestling and a bo jangles bo jangles bath house yeah it's like slightly spicy that's the most erotic idea i've ever heard it's just buttery butter house that uh that four o t game you know everyone's tired when arkansas starts wing and passing t ds yeah Fuck it. You're tired to score in that other way. They're tired.

They can't possibly expect this. Yeah, that's a touchdown pass. Sometimes we do that. This is cheating. I consider this the sand in the eyes of football, but I'm going to do it anyway. They're at the point where, like, Boise State would be breaking out, like, octuple reverses. And Arkansas is like, shit, I guess we'll throw it to the tight end. Damn, damn.

All right. Crossing routes. I know I said we never do this. But it's time for drink plays. Brother, you might get seriously, seriously injured. Bert, you said crossing the routes was bad. Yeah, you'll die, but, you know, it's time for that. You've got to get this game over with.

Got to get this game over with. It's a big ACC game. Actually, I wonder if a game that goes that long is, like, extremely safe. Like, if you play 100 snaps in 60 minutes, that's like, oh, buddy, you're putting the whole city at risk. But if you do it over the course of, like, six hours, it's like, you just added three. years to your life expectancy. It's true, man. It's just, you got a good, you got a good sweat in.

The other thing I wanted to discuss, and hey, we are recording outside, so if you hear a siren, thanks, APD. Oh, it's them rats. Them rats come for you. It's them rats, dang it. We have the big game yesterday, not, not, I think, coming into it, the big game, but the best finish yesterday, a lackluster ACC game, a real ACC game with two teams that have always been in the ACC for the most part.

Florida State and Georgia Tech Who I say that One was an independent one was in the SEC The Why are you putting down the Metro Conference? Oh, I'm sorry Damn, I left the Metro out Metro boom in conference

The The mixtape kings of Atlanta Georgia Tech Somehow managed to tie the game With the Florida State Seminoles The previously undefeated Florida State Seminoles And managed to tie the game

with a couple of passes which again that's a trick play for Paul Johnson is a couple of, you know, throwing a couple of passes and managed to tie the game, 16, 16. Aguio lines up for a potential game-winning field goal. I think it was like a 53-yarder.

It was pretty long. It's like 56, yeah. Yeah, but he can do that. He can hit that. Yeah, he's a legitimately great kicker who has hit those kind of kicks before. He did not. and did not in this instance. He did not.

I mean, look. There was a hand in the way. We have no way of knowing if it was long enough, straight enough. We can assume that it was. But, but there was a hand in the way. The long kicks are just more blockable due to the angles and trajectory. And Georgia Tech student athletes surely figured that out. It's an unfair advantage they got with all them trigonometric, geometric machinations

that they can perform live on the field with their large engineering brains. Paul Johnson stabbed you right in the thigh with a compass, and he's not even sorry. That's also science, and don't tell me it ain't. Blood is science. That's what they teach at Western Carolina University. Blood is science. Hey, can I ask you guys a quick question? What was your favorite point Florida State scored in the second half of this game?

Hmm. I think that would be none of them. Okay. There was the touchdown. It almost scored, but instead. ended up being its first first interception of the year. Yeah, that was good.

Yeah, I would, did you look at the yardage for this game? Because I thought, oh man, this is just Florida State, you know, like they're on the yardage and in every way, they probably got like, they probably have a huge advantage, you know, and they just squandered it away to a Georgia Tech team.

Nope, nope, not true. Not true. Not true. Florida State didn't have 300 yards offense. Yeah, Dalvin Cook ran for like 84, I think, off the time ahead. You know why this happened? Because Bill Connolly said Dalvin Cook was good. Yeah.

Bill C. FSU Twitter, go get Bill C. Yeah. He hates y'all again. He intentionally hexted Dalvin by saying he's really good. He did it. And you know that's true because Bill C is a math nerd. Of course, that favors Georgia Tech in this.

It's all one math conspiracy. Never learned math. FSU fans. Y'all should have seen this coming. It's taking you this far. It's the devil's graffiti. Mm-hmm. Don't look at it. Don't let it judge your world.

Coupons are for quitters. Except for ValPAC. Well, ValPac, you know. ValPak. That's easily half of the Florida state economy is Valpac. The, and I mean the state of Florida, not just Florida state. Undoubtedly, there is a Seminole fan named Valpac. Man, ain't nobody ever gone to steak and shake without ValPac coupons. Unless you're in Indiana and you actually think it's good.

Hey, Connie, I stole the neighbor's Sunday paper. We're going out to eat. The 400 pound Sunday paper because it rained. Yeah. The other thing I absolutely love about this game, of course, it was returned. The kick is blocked. It is return for ATD. There are no fewer than eight really great details about this play if you watch it.

Because Paul Johnson initially waives this off. If there are shots of him on the sideline going, don't touch it. Don't touch it. We need to run an offensive snap. Hold on. Such as the full-back dive. Hold on, I'm going to call the bomb squad in. They got one of them robots.

Robits going to test that ball for dangerous chemicals. This is Georgia Tech. We do have robots. We got robots everywhere. I got a robot coming in as the B-back before you know it. Honestly, there's probably 30 autonomously functioning robots in those stands. Just walking around. Having sex.

That's the only reason Georgia Tech exists. So robots can fuck? more like sexwood drive Wow But there's that There's the Helicopter That I believe it's

Poor Roberto Oguayo does Roberto Oguio who has Is pretty decent as a tackler Considering he's a place kicker He's an athlete Yeah he's a really great athlete But he just gets spun around Yeah

Yeah the guy ran the kick back Just spins him and he gets helicoptered. Pini Pablo should demand Roberto O'Guio send him $100 for copyright infringement. I think two ACCC men can settle at that point. Which, again, remember that the rule of Piti Poblo is that it doesn't have to fit by syllable. You can just say it and it'll work, right? Florida State!

Yeah, just stretch it out, like a Georgia Tech run. Yeah, and then when the celebration happens, of course, there's a guy with the cane. In the crowd, yeah. In the crowd, there's a guy with the cane. There is Paul Johnson making the weirdest face I will ever see Paul Johnson make. He made a face that it's like this super sassy tongue gesture that like I could picture a young teen making. Like a, it's kind of the noise it sounds like.

I said this last night, but honestly it reminded me of somebody who was being, very drunk and who was being arrested. And it was like, go ahead, take me to jail. I don't care. And there were two officers at each of his elbows at the time. So it totally looks like they're taking him to jail. And he's like, I don't care. Kenny Chesney kiss my ass.

I paid for them tickets. It looks like his, yeah, his boys are over on the side. And they're like, oh, shit, did you really refeeing the croaker? And he just says, heck yes. Heck yeah. To me, it reminded me of if Blanche Devereaux got the last parking spot at church and stole it from her, like, retirement community enemy. That's the face she would make. Which is as good at an analogy for Paul Johnson.

Because remember, the real fun part about this is, and oh yeah, I could talk about this all day. I could just get that back up that truck assault. Just pour it into the wound all day long, Florida State. But the best part is that this was a two-win Georgia Tech team. Two. None of those wins against a Power 5 team. Nope. Hey, but they beat Tulane, though, so you got good company.

NFC. South champs. I just tell you what, Georgia Tech just beats up on them Gulf of Mexico, boys. They have a hatred for public health. I think you want to solve malaria. Why'd you do that? We'll run the triple option on your ass. Malaria is a friend of mine. Sincerely, P. Johnson.

Hey, they do spread through bugs. But lost to North Carolina, lost to Duke, lost to Clemson, which everyone's doing. No shame in that. It's fine. Lost to Notre Dame.

I mean, that was good. They were listless in that game, though. Just listless. Like, it's 3022. It was not that close. But otherwise, standing on a pair of wins against two-lane. in Alcorn State until Florida

State comes to town. Just another thing, Florida State and Alcorn State have a common. Hey, look, Jimbo, look, Jimbo Fisher spent his offseason resurrecting his hairline, which everybody assumed was just, you know, good as dead, did the same

thing to Georgia Tech season. The man is a miracle worker. Way to go, man. That's amazing. He could not do the same for you, Miami. I'm sorry. Miami's already hopped up on extends anyway. Al Golden's hair looks great, asshole.

Al Golden's hair does look fantastic. I mean, think about that. Like, how much more accomplished a person is Al Golden than any of us? Because if we had been through what he had been through and his inevitable firing, you know what? I don't even know if I'd have hair. I don't think he's even aged that badly. No.

Like, yeah, like looking at the press room yesterday. He hasn't really, like, put on weight or anything. He's still as shiny as ever. You always see those pictures comparing a president. like on inauguration day to, you know, the end of his, the end of a term or something. Al Golden's looking fine. Like, he's sleeping like a baby. Yeah, like, look at Will Must Jamp.

Like, toward the end with Will Mustamp, like, I don't know if you'd ever. Got some eye sag going on. Oh, the punch had expanded. You know, he was always kind of a Barney Rubble-shaped dude anyway. The hair didn't go away, but he definitely gave it a lot less attention. He was much more willing to go out in public with the hair looking a mess. I feel like his hair got less fluffy. Yeah, that's true. It looks sad.

Yeah, it got flat with the sort of weight of sadness. Like a zoo animal that has not been cared for properly. His dorsal fin just fell over. You were saying it's as if it had fewer points? Wow. Oh, my. I mean, I'd like to tell him that, but he's blocked me on Twitter, so. We'll pass on the message.

Just do that if you would. Just DM him. I'll just send him this file I'll email him Why did you block me? I mean, we can just send it to him in December because it's not like Auburn It's going to have much else

He can catch up on his correspondence then Good for him But yeah, that's 580, the worst loss in Miami Hurricanes history Yep Did either of you watch any of this game Because I'm not going to lie and say that I did

Oh, I was It was my main watch in the noon slate. Every time you click away, it's like, I'm going to miss something really, really disgusting if I don't turn back. And then how many first downs did Miami have? Like, I don't want you to think this was a 580. Well, it was a deceptive 580. No, it was authentic. It's authenticated.

You can find the notary public stamp right on the corner. Oh, my God. I just found the box score. Oh, yeah. Yeah, six first downs. Good Lord. Dig into it. Yeah, it was, I think, based on Bill Connolly's numbers, it was in garbage time early in the second quarter.

And like, it wasn't a Baylor, Iowa State situation where it was like, okay, yeah, well, they won the game and then the other team did some stuff. It was like, no, that just kept happening. Miami just kept becoming more garbage. The most shocking number from all this besides 33 first downs for Clemson, and six for Miami. In year five, by the way, this is not like, well, I mean, Al's got a plan.

No, no, no. This is the plan. Well, you know, they've got some NCAA troubles from starting in, like, starting in, like, 2010. So here's what I really appreciate about this game. Clemson let it, let it to have 42 to zero. At that point, Miami,

and I think Brad Kaya was out of the game, injured. At that point, Miami would have been, within its rights to say, well, screw it. We're just, you know, we're going to open it up. We're going to try to make this respectable. Miami went for it on fourth down once, all game. They punted ten times. They just could not have been less interested in doing anything in the second half of this game.

Do you think at that point that punting is kind of like, let's see how big of an asshole you are? It's possible. Yeah, I think it was like. Listen, Babo, you think you're, you're Mr. Holy and righteous. Let's see what kind of devil you got in there. Are you going to crack 70th Davo? Was it an etiquette test? So this was the last temptation of dabbo

is what you're telling. Well, he gets to play Miami again next year, so I wouldn't say last. I will take you into the Orange Bowl or the former or the Joe Robbie Stadium and you will learn the true meaning of avarice. That's it. No, no, no, no.

I'll decline. We'll only score 58. No. There's 200 people watching this. This is a scene. this is what Clemson should do if Miami really, really goes in the tank for the next two or three years, stop at 58. Every time?

Yeah, find some way to get to 58 and stop. Like, man, you're up 55 and you're on the one in the third quarter. What are you doing? On first down? Yep, 508. This should be their dose of zero. I like that because that will also lead to a lot of conspiracy

theorists. He'll be like, oh, what happened in 1958? We have to figure this out. It's a sign. Dabbo, what are you trying to tell us? Damn it, Davo, watch loss. Yeah, the Clemson Tigers had 416 yards rushing. 416 yards rushing.

This was a game where at halftime, Davo held the boys out at midfield. And some speculated that they just decided, fuck it. We don't need a half time. But he was actually yelling at him about sports. manship by 42 points because there's some pregame scuffling and whatnot and and dabbo decided to make a public example while a public is a little generous because there is like 19 other people in the building but that's a I was going to say that's a real intimate environment actually is there a good reason why Al Golden isn't just out on his

ass tomorrow um yeah yeah Miami does not have very much money yeah there's that uh yeah and they're going to have to call people today. Like, this is great. This is actually how the world works. Today, the reason they have not fired him is because they're probably calling people and asking them for money. Yes, can I speak to Michael Irvin, please? Hey, yeah, yeah, hey, all you NFL players who are tweeting about how you want rid of Al Golden, it's time to invest. This is why Ray Lewis hasn't said a thing because he's got the most money.

Who could be more fiscally responsible than a Miami football player? That's just like, that's it. The school can't afford to hire a new coach. Players can't afford to fire the older. And they have no other alumni who care about football. Give Clinton Portis the job, promise him like 80 grand a year. Man, this entire institution is just like, what an aberration. Like someone set up a talent farm and like,

one of the most athletically potent places in the world and attached it to like this small private international university that is not crazy about sports and like it worked great for you know a few different five year stretches

well it's like when you have a money laundering business that needs to go legit all of a sudden and you're like shit I don't know anything about doing nails the fuck are we doing we're going to have to open a nail shop damn And Al Golden is just, oh, he's just ruining your titsies.

Just fungus and toenail fungus everywhere. How are you adding fungus? I don't want to use the rasp. How would you best describe the Al Golden era at Miami? Tonell fungus. Two words. Intentional toenail fungus. So that's why they are.

That's a five-yard penalty. That's why they're waiting a day, right? That's why they're waiting a day is because they don't have, they actually have to call people and say, hey, we'd like to do this, would you please write a check? Do you have any savings bonds you haven't cashed yet? Would you... Ask your parents, you might. Would you be interested?

I mean, think about this. Just take the names off of it and say this. Hey, would you be interested in a complex financial transaction involving an institution in South Florida? Who says no? Not me, buddy. What's my return on it? TBD? Yeah, TBD.

I promise that in four years, you might beat Clemson. Bobby Petrino might walk off with a school vehicle? You get probably a different white guy a job? Yeah. Are you familiar with Lane Kiffin? Do you want to meet him? Now I'm in. Do you like to meet him a lot?

Yeah. You want to live in. What if he lived in your house? Yeah, this could be part of the deal. Do you have a room? Yeah. You're familiar with Airbnb? It's like that, but with coaches.

See, that's what all these GoFundMe's are getting wrong for Miami fans. They're just like trying to raise money, but you need the perks. You need to be like, hey, if you give $1,000, Lane Kiffin will come to your house and fall asleep next to your pool. I'll sleep on top of your mom. Lane Kiffin will come to your house and eat all your bagel bites without telling you. That's $2,000. How can you turn that down?

He'll bring National Treasure, too, and then talk through the whole thing. Speaking of Lane, Lane, the offensive machine that Alabama is, totaled 19 points against the Tennessee Volunteers, unstoppable. In his defense, Bowling Green really got the Tennessee defense prepared for Alabama. Well, I mean, you know, not everyone has the luxury of being tested by Dino Baber's finest. But, yeah. I mean, Maryland does, and that hasn't gone great for that. That's a bit more than a test. God, that's the whole course right there.

We talked about this on a previous episode, but the saddest shit in the world would be Dino Bavors take that Maryland job. Don't do it. Don't do it, Dino. Don't do it. Yeah, I, do you have any sensible takeaway from the Tennessee, Alabama game? I do not. Tennessee's better. How about that?

Like, honestly, like, they continue this, like, oh, they lost. It looked better. Okay. Sure. Yeah. I mean, like Tennessee is still young. Defensively, they looked good. Like, I don't think that's anything that we can, I don't even want to hedge that, okay?

They ran the ball with Derek Henry a lot. He had 28 carries. And he only got 143 yards. They were really productive yards. He scored two TDs, right? They were the crucial TDs for Alabama in the game. But against a lot of defenses, if you're giving Derek Henry 28 carries, that's going to do a lot more damage.

You know, they forced Jacob Coker. Jay Coker completed a lot of passes, but especially at the end of the game where it completed them one-on-one to get them in position for the winning score, but forced him into a pick, you know, really kind of limited him. They took their, Gary Danielson, who's really good, you know, the five-second Danielson and identifying what happened. Alabama had their safetys like 20, 30 yards back sometimes, just like way back there, like prevent defense deep because they didn't want to get beat deep.

So they did a good job of limiting Alabama. I thought, like, that was the part that impressed me most about Tennessee was the defense. I was genuinely impressed by them, especially playing on the road. I think if you're a Tennessee fan, you can say stuff like, oh, we missed three field goals. And if Bama didn't connect on two jump balls on that last drive, we win. And you know it in your heart that, no, that's not true. You had a lead against Alabama, therefore you would lose to Alabama. But on the whole, definitely encouraging, especially considering Tennessee games.

could be better again next year. It was a little disconcerting from the Alabama's, the perspective of the Alabama defense that, I mean, you know, they got the, Tennessee did get the one interception, but they didn't end up getting any points off of that. So all of their drives where they got points or missed field goals, they were all pretty much long sustained drives, like where they would move the ball 60 yards downfield in an individual drive. That feels like a potential weakness for Alabama. I don't know exactly where it comes to bite them, but I don't know. The defense, even though they held Tennessee to 14, was much more bend don't break than you normally expect from this defense. Maybe. Yeah, but I think that was, I mean, this was game specific. Yeah, okay. They just, they knew that Lane Kiffin really wanted to suck up the safeties and then put it over the top because that's his thing. and they just were not.

They were not. They were going to let Derek Henry eat as many yards as he wanted to, you know, up to like, like, because I think by design, they were like, we can't let him get a longer run than 20, right? Like, limit him and then see what we can do with the rest. And it is like as long yesterday was right on plan. It was like 20 yards. No, but I'm talking about the Alabama defense. Oh, I'm sorry.

They just, you know, Tennessee didn't have a lot of drives or it was like, oh, three plays, seven yards out. They were able to move the ball reasonably well. Even on those three failed drives, they still made it past midfield. Once they got it to the 30, they bogged down, but it wasn't, it was not, you know, sort of the, oh, okay, well, now we're going to drop the hammer on you, and you're not going to do anything on offense. I think if you watch this game without context, you would say, without the context of Tennessee season and of this series in particular, you would say, oh, damn, that was impressive. Tennessee almost beat Alabama. I think it sort of clouds the mind knowing, like, the long. streak Bama has and like the fact that Tennessee actually blew big leads I don't count this as blowing a lead but I think that sort of sort of clouds the result when really you know Tennessee almost beat Alabama yeah yeah that and this next week the two teams that are going to butt heads out of this LSU and Alabama in like the game for the SEC West pretty much I mean I know yeah and they get a by week to to build up even more of a charge right

right for that like when you look at when you look at like what that game's going Brandon Harris is going to be able to get dudes loose like Josh Dobbs would do this thing where he would get out of the pocket and that's what you want against Alabama right he's to get out of the pocket or start moving just enough to get those dbs kind of off their pedestal and off of their assignments and make them worry of whether you're going to run or pass it and he could do that and that Josh Dobbs can't get the ball to the right guy downfield nope nope nope but the threat of I mean Brandon Harris is bubble enough to do that by himself and with the threat of a play action from

I mean I'm sure LSU has a running back Nobody's sort of him Someone not Dalvin Cook don't care Yeah ain't Dalvin Cook Take that FSU Twitter Just in here vamping for Dalvin Cook and not that unknown guy at LSU We're just not in

But you know that seems to me to be Something where I'm like I would be pretty optimistic about that as an LSU fan That's fair Can we talk about do we have time to about Utah? Yeah, sure. Let's do this real quick, because I know we're trying to keep this tight. Utah got stumped.

Utah got stopped so badly by USC. Yeah, Travis had a bad game. He did. And I said this on Wake Up College football, so excuse me for stealing from myself. USC looked super disciplined in this game. They didn't make stilly mistakes. They didn't get dumb penalties. They didn't turn the ball over.

this is like what USC is supposed to be when they have all their ducks in a row. It was kind of weird to see because you didn't expect to see this from USC. I don't know, at least maybe for a couple more weeks, but they look good. No, they should fire their coach two games into every season. They might. What if they just cut out the middleman and just hired Clay Hilton? Because what's his record now? Nope.

Then he's the head coach and not the interim head coach. Oh, then they'd have to fire him. Yeah. Yeah. So you just keep going until you find the one true coach, which it's like the DB coach. Yeah, I mean, then it's just back around to edit orgeron somehow. The line of succession, he's still in it, even though he doesn't work for the school anymore. Line of Succession.

It's like... The Trojan line of Succession. And somewhere in there you got a new AD. It's like how the Postmaster General used to be on the presidential line of succession until, I don't know, the 70s or so. And then somebody was like, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait. I don't think the Postmaster General should be president. Starting over.

Like, here comes Kiffin, fine. Yeah, no, I mean, this is what Pat Hayden, if he really wants to be useful, he can step in, do the Barry Alvarez, add it to one of the 900 jobs

Pat Hayden says he does in a week, get fired, and then give way to the one true coach, whoever that may be that year. Barry Alvarez. Exactly. This is like, I think you can treat USC,

not to appropriately extend the Hollywood metaphor too much, but you can treat it like the franchise where they pass around directors, Yeah, this is the mission impossible. Yeah, or Star Wars. Star Wars doesn't worry about that.

Sure. You know, Harry Potter didn't. They were like, oh, yeah, Guillermo de Toro. He'll do one. Yeah, take a shot, buddy. Chris Columbus does the first one. Cool. We'll just do that.

USC, different coach every year. I am all in favor of this plan. I also enjoyed in this game, Juju Smith-Schuster, pointing at, I believe it was 15 on the Utah defense, saying, come get some. Get over here. Yeah, did the Scorpion, right?

Get over. here, like pointed him out live mid play. Dude accepted and then got dumped on his ass with a stiff arm. There's the two views of this play, the one where you see that and you're like, oh God, I don't want to see the other one because I know

there's going to be a blocker or something. Don't even make me look at the, oh fuck, there's a blocker. He was pointing at a blocker. And then you just sort of try and forget that. Because like the original, it was kind of like after the game, Juju said like no, yeah, I don't like that guy. In so many words, he said like,

you know he basically indicated he was really excited to get to stiff arm that particular guy so like in his mind he was doing that and like maybe he gestured more more evocatively because he wanted to see that dude get laid out and then he was like oh fuck it i'll do it myself but it's a very very good angle it's better to think of it like a vampire where it's like oh you know you invited him in you could have you could have kept the door shut you could have run off the field it's your fault what happened that and the entire sideline behind him watching live is the is the is the World Star Reaction. It wasn't a stiff arm. It was a choke slam.

Yeah, it was a choke slam. And you see like, there's three dudes who all jump up at once when it happens. And now USC is going to go to Cal and lose by 20 or something. That's right. That's right. You just courted the Cow Bears. I'm so glad you, I'm so glad we

understand how the Pac-12 works now. It doesn't. That's the answer. Yeah. That and if you watch Joshua Barnett, so the old last I want to point out from yesterday was Joshua Barnett is a vine that went around isolating his work

in a 3114 Stanford win over pulverized team who is poor pulverized team in this case Washington was this week they all look the same

with tire treads on their face this week's mash taters Washington Huskies watching that game and watching him pull do a perfect club technique throwing his blockers delinement to the ground and then

actively hunting for a man to hit before blowing him up like Kevin Nash just this whole game was really fun it felt like Stanford sort of felt kind of encroached upon like when Stanford plays like you know which Washington State or whatever

sure they'll throw it around a little bit they'll they'll pretend to be a Pact 12th team but when Washington comes in Washington I I feel like they're ideal is to be kind of a burly team. Stanford says, huh? So they bow up, they pull up like mama bear. Like, no. So Stanford in this case is the crossfitter who just had somebody break into his house and

is like, oh, it's on. It's on, baby. Not only does a crossfitter break in, the crossfitter, like, immediately starts doing, like, jump lunges with... I'm going to make you tap. Do you want to squat? You want to go do squats in the back? If you want to go do flip squats?

Yeah. You can go do flip squat back. You can have the TV if you could do more up downs than me. Yeah, that's cool. If you can, if you muscle up, you can take my car. If you can do one muscle up, bro, just one muscle up. No, no, no, you don't get to Kip. One strict muscle up for my entire fucking house.

And then they throw a rowing machine at you. Yeah, then they both tear their rotator cuff. But yeah, they did feel a crouched upon it. I didn't really thought about it that way. But Washington wants to be the like, er, smatchy team. And Stanford's like, uh, yeah. No, man, I'm going full reba on you. I'll be right.

They had, yeah, they pulled like the Elon Musk a move where they like, no, we have like thousands of trademarks on this particular, particular iteration of power football. You fancy yourself to be purveyors of intellectual cruelty on the football field. Oh, no. This is the patent troll offense. Come get some. Yeah, they are a joy to watch right now. I love watching this team. They are not at all what I enjoy usually watching.

But if you have a guy with the number 94, on his back, who's in a three-point stance in the back field. Just call an adult. Oh, man. I feel like the two things about Stanford that set them apart from, like, Sabin ball are like, they're cool. They just with tearing up and down the field. They just want to do it their way.

Exactly. They'll sit that. And also, they have, like, the athletes that totally set them apart. Because, like, yeah, Derek Henry's awesome and all, but he's not going to put, like, nine jukephs on a dude, like McCaffrey or Barry Sanders will. Yeah. and they don't they don't the blocking's just not as clean you know and i know that's a result of playing in a conference where you do get marginally like larger defensive linement that's just going to happen

but my god mario costobal is crying somewhere right now i know but he's he probably cries when he watches when he watches the stanford game tape it's just not the same no like Alabama on their final on their final t-d yesterday to say it's like just to compliment them uh they had a magnet significant, like, counter, I think it was a counter play to the left. Oh, yeah, yeah. Oh, they just, Tennessee was, had whiplash from that. Yeah, just like a beautiful pulling guard. It was, it was beautiful.

Stanford does that, like, two out of every three plays, and they do it with, you know, they do it with a gigantic quarterback who is, who is totally happy to be like, you all be the lummox. You need a giant lummocks like you'll be. I'll do that. It's like watching the Princess Bride, if every. character was Andre the Giant. It's so beautiful. It's great. It really is. There's at least like little bandy dudes in Alabama, you know, little wiry guys who like running around and catching

things. There are, there are none of those people. Like, even Christian McCaffrey, like, if you look at him, you're like, he's bigger than I think he is. Yeah, I think it's Stanford size. He looks tiny, but then you look it up and like, oh, no, definitely bigger than me. His bones are made of dark matter. you're like Devin Kajusk, he's Like Devin Kajusk is like Svelt for that team and he's massive So they are they are a true Bountiful ample assed

I think another writer DMA last night It was like I'm just going to call them like the Palo Alto ass pile That's all they are just this giant pile of like butto Beating everyone up within like a 500 mile range Yeah also uh georgia leary's gone Woo!