Shutdown Fullcast - Shutdown Fullcast 3.27.0

Episode Date: October 28, 2015

The midweek Fullcast accomplishes all the following in the mere breezy tiny span of 55 minutes: --Listing all the things that DEFINITELY CAN'T HAPPEN after we said on the last podcast that there was little chance Miami would fire him this week. Mark Dantonio's never going anywhere, South Carolina! --A discussion as to whether Al Golden has been abducted by shadowy South Florida henchmen --Reader questions, including a review of the worst possible NFL coaches who could end up taking the USC job. Look, we made Bill Belichick try to recruit college football players! And put Sean Payton on a college campus with no supervision! Amazing hypothetical things happened, hypothetically! --Georgia/Florida is this week! Please don't make us talk about it! --A look at the week ahead, including us saying nice things about Pitt for like, at least five minutes. Learn more about your ad choices. Visit megaphone.fm/adchoices Learn more about your ad choices. Visit podcastchoices.com/adchoices

Welcome to the shutdown fullcast. So, midweek edition, one where we get to relax, stretch, do a little bit of reader interaction via Twitter questions. And we also get to do this. We get to update previous podcasts that might have been recorded before certain things happened. For instance, Ryan, we recorded on Sunday afternoon, and what did we say about Al Golden at Miami? We have a correction to issue. We said Al Golden would not be terminated before the end of the season for financial reasons. And within, I think, two hours of that, Al Golden got fired, despite financial reasons.

Someone wrote a check. Someone did wrote a check. And that might have been Adidas. Ruh. Yeah. Oh, yeah. Yeah. Yeah, we were wrong. We were dead wrong. We were so very wrong. In fact, we joked about them running around trying to raise money at the last minute, asking someone for a check. And it turns out that's exactly what they were doing. That was happening while we were making that joke.

That's kind of always happening. Yeah, that's true. Yeah, I was going to say, people asking for money for nothing. People asking for money for no possible return. Like, joining us, by the way, from Kennesaw, Jason Kirk. What's your possible investment if I come to you and I say, I'm going to ask you to invest in an absent Al-Golden? So what I'm paying for is... The absence of Al-Goldden. It's like mafia protection money, where you are paying for something to not happen. Yeah, it's like, let's see.

It's like a bono. Buy one, buy one. By one, not one. No one. No one. By one. Boggin. Yeah, Boggin.

Buy one, get nothing. Yeah. Boggin. Yeah, I'll pay like $6 million or so. It's probably more. Didn't you have like four years left? So it's like $12 million, $8 million? He was there.

I don't know what Al Golden's exact buyout is. We will find that out because it's probably an extraordinary amount of money. It sounds like, it sounds really bad. Like, man, you're so bad of your job. You're worth negative $8 million, but then it's like... But that negative eight... I got $8 million. Yeah, that's plus $8 for you.

Well, it's not a zero-sum game. It's all pure profit for you. It technically, by the way, his buyout is undisclosed. What is my buyout? Your buyout? Yeah. It's gigantic. It's enormous.

Sweet. It's amazing. You actually have quite an incentive to just get fired. I mean, that's all the everyday should be Saturday commenters want. I'm just trying to find a common ground where they get me fired and I get, I don't know, $2.5. $2.5 what? Million dollars. Million what?

American dollars. Modern, not like in one year when inflation has gone off the rails. No, no, no, that's fine. We can wait for that to have. We can wait for the fall of the global economy and then pay me out. 2.5 million Lao Kip. 2.5 million Kip. You know what? I'll take it.

You know, I mean, it would still be a pretty significant amount of money even at laughable exchange rate. So you'd be okay. But Al Golden's buyout does not have to be specified at all because it's a private school. So it might be in Lough Kip. It might be. He made 2.5 mil this year. You're getting paid in dong, son.

And I think if just we say he's probably getting paid for every year left on his contract, then it's, something like 10 but it could be lower yeah I'm just gonna guess that at worst Big Al gets out of this with 6 mil and it comes out of it looking fresh and clean

just looking just so swanky he'll probably be like he's probably the guest picker on game day right he's looking like a he comes in like beaming happiest we've ever seen him money cannon oh money cannon

Yeah, just spread that shit around. He's got the, he's got the, oh, it is at Temple. I'm back in Philly. I'm spreading Benjamins. Bring Al back to do something. I don't know. This is all part of the plan. There's no way that it isn't.

Al's going to come back like finessing and not stressing, just with the money cannon. He's going to go back and be like Temple's biggest booster, period. It'll be great. That's brilliant. I also wanted to do this, which was, before we do anything, I wanted to get through sort of a list of coaches just to test our powers. Because we said that Al Golden was probably secured through the end of the season with great confidence. And then he was fired.

So I thought what we could do is we could just test our powers by mentioning other people who were absolutely safe. Mark D'Antonio is not going anywhere. definitely long-term lifer in Michigan State can't see how he would leave that job definitely can't see how he would leave it early impossible yeah he's there forever definitely wouldn't

of all the people that Mark Don Antonio wouldn't return to his alma mater also not his hometown of hometown school of U-TEP no none of these are possible is definitely not taking the Dolphins job um good god yeah can you imagine look look just let's just let's just see what happens that's all i'm saying

none of these things it's not happening none of these things that's why uh that's why that's why that's asked you to imagine because because it won't it won't happen why would that happen he definitely won't get the you know the bucks aren't going to fire lovey smith and bring mark dantonio down starting in week 10 that's crazy that would never happen that you would never get a situation where Bill O'Brien was hired at USC, and then to replace him at the Texans, they hire

Kevin Sumlin. No, that's... No, no. He's good in there. The only thing Texas A&M will ever do coach-wise is hire the perfect offensive coordinator that'll satisfy Aggie fans. Exactly. Someone who's going to guarantee at least 35

to 40 points a game, depending on the situation. They'd never do that. Yep. The only problem there is whoever's calling the offensive plays, the plays. If you draw the plays out, you can just look at them and tell they're wrong. Everything else is fine. So just pencil in Kevin Sumlin there for a good 25 years. And that'll, each one will get better each time. And if, and I say if, and I don't even know why I bother, if A&M were to lose Kevin Sumlin, they certainly wouldn't turn to someone relatively close in the region and accomplished multi- school coach skip holts they definitely wouldn't hire skip holds mac brown would absolutely not be the coached a in him i'm just going to say ryan breaking character here if that actually happened like that's a rivers of blood level prophecy that you just laid out there i'm not sorry no no the skip the skip the skip the skip the skip the motto is i'm not sorry

Um, the other person that I would say is totally safe that we would want to, you know, test our powers on and would not be going anywhere. Jimbo Fisher at Florida State. No way that he wouldn't want out of there. To take something like, I don't know, the Alabama job just in case, you know, it came open, which it wouldn't. Nick Saban's there for life. He's a lifer. Oh, yeah, that goes without saying. I mean, of all the ones we could possibly swear on with all our confidence, it would be that Nick Sabin is never going to leave Alabama. Right. I mean, if we can guarantee anything

with everything we're worth, with all our credibility, it's that. And Tim Brewster is definitely not going to be named Coach in Waiting at Florida State, just if something happens. None of these things are going to, why are we even talking about them? Good God. This fantasy took a dark turn.

Yeah. I'm Dark Man X. Barking at your future. Yeah. Let us pray. Leah, let's do to some reader mail. We haven't done reader mail in a while. Jason, I want to start with yours?

Let's see here. Let's see. Well, here's a quick one from Stunned Monkey on Twitter. Is there any reason at this point to be an Indiana football fan? Let's see. Well, your other options are Tom, Kreen, and the cults. So, yeah, I guess so. Yeah.

Damn, that's pretty, that cut, again, they cut, that turned dark. I hope the Pacers are good. I mean, I would say the Pacers, but still, I'm not over that photograph of the five Pacer starters and dressed up like a boy band. I think maybe if you're one, a person, a football fan with ADD, you might really enjoy. of being an Indiana fan because all the good stuff happens well before your attention span shuts off, right? So two quarters in,

hey, we're up 1412, we're leading 1710, we're tied, we're only down by two TDs. It's important to treat Indiana football like the movie Old Yeller as presented to an eight-year-old where you're just like,

boy, this was a great 40-minute movie, wasn't it? Just a boy and his dog. the key is to always have a late lunch or something that you got to get to at like two or so if it's eastern whichever time zone Indiana is in no one knows aren't they the state

it's them or Arizona that just like says nah no we don't really time zones and daylight savings but Arizona is also like Martin Luther King now it's like a time pit like there's no time what time you think it is

but yeah just just schedule something so you don't have to watch the fourth quarter and you'll always be happy Yeah, that would be another good reason And I can think of one more reason You're Antoine Randall L If you're Antoine Randall L and you're listening to this podcast

Or if you're Tevin Coleman I think those are two good reasons To be an Indiana football fan Because it got you a successful NFL career Somehow I think mainly this If you're really talented The backwards pitch at Indiana would be this

Son You can come here And if you are ridiculously talented you will be the most obviously ridiculously talented person on the field. If you go to Alabama, well... You're a big fish in a big pond. Man, there's all kinds of shine, right? You're going to have a hard time getting somebody to pick up on your unique variety of talent bling.

But if you come to Indiana, I guarantee you that by relief and comparison to your surroundings alone, there will be no camouflage. You will stand out. you will obviously be a gifted football player. It's like when aging musical acts stop playing arenas and start playing, you know, small clubs. You need to be the, you know, the live playing a 400-person venue. Lightning crashes at Indiana football. Wow. You know.

I inadvertently just compared Indiana football to an abortion and I'm sorry, or a miscarriage, whichever it was. I feel like this makes If you're an Indiana player Just feel like this makes it Sounds like you get heckled a lot Well you can hear them heckling It's personal It's much more

Okay It's artisanal heckling Do you want an intimate experience? Come to Indiana If you miss this by the way Indiana surrendered Indiana Indiana was

Indiana was only down two points With 12 minutes And change left in the game To Michigan State And Michigan State Ended up winning 52, 27 It was this thing where it was like, wow, not only is Indiana finally going to do this, Michigan State's finally going to do this, and then the score ended up like probably something like what it should have been all along.

Yeah, it was a lot like watching a triathlon video where somebody's body completely runs out of salt. Like, they're done. Look, that's as hard as they could go. Mark D'Antonio had the emergency break on the whole time. That's why it smells like that. There's only 400 yards to go. Yeah, he's pooping his. pants and he's on his hands and knees and he's not going to make it. That was Indiana. Indiana.

They probably got 400 yards, but yeah. Yeah. The question that I would like to answer would be this. Why isn't the $300 Ford Aerostar a B1G rivalry trophy yet that comes from

VT underscore Ben aka a happy hello cream it don't stop There's a picture of dork-ass Tom Creen It just don't stop I think people think I hate Tom Creen You do

No I don't hate Tom Creen I'm fascinated by him I don't think there is any Like college basketball coach Spencer could have a serious opinion on Other than like Adoring Calipari Okay

Yeah those are my opinions My serious opinions on college basketball coaches I adore John Calipari And I think he is a saint walking among us and i think that tom crean is funny looking and fascinating that's it that's the depth of my opinions you would probably talk a little shit about bow ryan but i digress no no no bow ryan i have this entire alternate life written out for bo ryan like his life is like a saloon owner in rural wisconsin right oh so this is sort of like a deadwood north

yeah exactly like that bo ryan's the guy in plaid who you go to like you know file your football picks with. And if you're a little late with the cash, well, Bo's going to show up with a six pack of Schaefer and some brass knuckles. And like when you're, when you're bar hopping, you go through his bar, he has a long list of other bars that you cannot go to. Oh, yeah. You listen, I just talk to everybody. You, uh, you really don't want to go there. Interestingly enough, uh, as in Deadwood, the only word he says is cock sucker. That's it. He communicates entirely in it. And as amazing coach for, for the results, a whiteboard and the word cocksucker and got to an NCAA final.

I'm just picturing the Paul Johnson believe it meme now. Believe it, cocksucker. Hashtag cossucker. Someone please make that so we can laugh at it. Remember, go see that. This is artful profanity, right? Because it's Deadwood. Yeah.

It's my favorite thing when people are like really intellectual or serious with capital S. They're like, Deadwood was an incredible series because of the dialogue. And I'm like, they got to say all the shit they wanted. It was awesome. It's a bunch of drunk cowboys saying the word cock sucker over and over again. Had Nick Offerman full frontal. Yeah, it's a beautiful man. That's art.

That's art. Nick Offerman, full frontal nudity in the word cock sucker. And people are like, David Millich is a genius. And I'm like, yeah, that's because even smart people want to see dudes get wasted. That's it. It's so sublime. Yeah, that dude got hit in the face with. the bottle. This show is great.

So this is by the way going to, this is a question asking which rivalry. I think Ryan had an answer to this before I could even get one that is perfect. Which Big Ten rivalry would be the $300 Ford Aerostar van that would

likely burst in a flame shortly after purchase. Oh, it's Rutgers Maryland. Ruckers, Maryland needs a rivalry trophy to begin with. And the $300 Aerostar has sort of a that image of you've hollowed out some of the paneling and you're smuggling something you shouldn't up the I-95 corridor and you're only going one way like that's the nice

thing about something going straight from Cuba to uh maybe you know I don't want to just I don't I don't even know if it's necessarily as as sexy as drugs it could just be medical supplies could just be like yeah man I got I got a shitload of uh of rubber gloves it's no it's no It's prosthetic legs. It could just be Al Golden. Yeah, it could be Al Golden chopped up into pieces. No, no, no. I didn't say chopped up.

Yeah, Jesus, Ryan. Why do you always do this, Ryan? You are from Tampa. He's got to be in pieces. He's got. No, no, no, no. We don't want that. I didn't say Al Holden.

It's Miami. What do you think? Do you think, I'm sorry, let me back up. You think they're paying him. Okay. This is, this is, I guess. to you this is some running man shit where they're going to show him here's video of al golden on a beach nope his course is long gone as al golden tweeted today golden now i believe

the last thing people reported was that al golden went to the hospital to see a player's sick mother has has anyone said that he left that hospital i'm telling you if he ends up at philly there's a double reason for that one because he's the godfather of the modern temple football program it too, because that's the only place you could go to be safe from people who would come from Miami to hurt you. I guarantee a week from now, Miami PD is going to be like, yeah, we found a corpse

on the beach with all the fingerprints and the face removed and all the teeth pulled out and it's wearing a billowy white dress shirt and an orange tie and the hair is a met with it. Al Golden's last words are, oh, now they come 45 minutes to see me. Oh, that's a good cue

to go to the next question. We've peaked on that one. Ryan. Let's go to this question from Chris Jensen at Chris F. Jensen. What NFL coach would be the most catastrophic hire for USC? I think this is a question that has some depth to it because your initial reaction is probably a bad coach, maybe someone like a Jim Caldwell, for instance. Who has already been. No, that went great. Yeah, he's already been a college coach. he was actually already an ACC coach. Yeah, he's got the experience. Yeah, and if you're just now joining us,

picture the Lions record this year transposed. Yeah. It was the same. Yeah, I will say this. Jim Caldwell was at Wake Forest University where nobody is consistently successful except for Jim Grobe. Remember, Wake Forest only hires guys named Jim.

Okay. Oh, Jim Tom Soule is going to be amazing at Wake Forest. I know. He's bound for me. No, no. Jim Tom Sula, he's going to Boston College. Yeah, that's totally where he's going. That's a pit, man, if I've ever seen.

Oh. Don't do this. You're right, don't do this. I don't want you to be right, but you're right. I'll have you know that in all of his seasons at Wake Forest from 1993 to the year 2000, Jim Caldwell had a seven-year plan because in 1999, he finally got them to a winning record seven and five three and five in conference that was the best you could do

and then got them to the Aloha Bowl which they won they won the Aloha Bowl so if you hire him you're guaranteed to get at least one winning season in eight years yeah that sounds right now that would be disastrous

but I think we can do worse Like, my suggestion would be Jeff Fisher. Jeff Fisher is a good answer. Although I feel like he is a name that is occasionally connected with college jobs for no goddamn reason. Well, we know. USC specifically. And we know last time Auburn looked into him. Oh, God.

And then hired, like, the total opposite in Gus Mazzan, former high school coach. But I guess I just wanted to take a whole look at every possible option. But, yeah, he's often connected with USC. Not only does he have a school tie, they also, you know, everyone assumes everyone to go as pro-style as possible, and there is nothing more NFL style than Jeff Fisher. Yeah, are you running back?

Do you have knees? Would you like to not have them? Cool. He'll run you 42 times again. I'll throw out Andy Reid. Andy Reid, the epitome of what people hate about NFL coaches. He takes field goals and punts in entirely two safe situations.

he has a poor grasp of the clock and how to manage it. I can only imagine how the rule changes between the NFL and college football would drive him insane. And he really only succeeds when he has, like, a fantastic quarterback. And in college football, who boy, that is even less of a guarantee than it is in the NFL. I got another one. This is the hot take, the hot take edition. All right. Uh-oh.

Hot take condition. That'd be Bill Belichick. Yeah. Can you imagine anyone who would have less patience? Especially because... I feel like that's just... Well... To me, that's just Nick Sabin.

You give him five years. He'll be fine. The difference, though, is that Bill Belichick has embraced the philosophy that if you're too much of... With a couple of special exceptions. If you're too much trouble, yeah, we'll just replace you with somebody. To me, that's just Nick Sabin. Cabin. Yeah, but this is all sounding the same.

Yeah, but here's the difference that Sabin actually understood, like, Saban actually, I think, enjoys recruiting. If he didn't enjoy recruiting, he wouldn't be there as long as he's been there. He wouldn't have done this for as long as he's done this. And he wouldn't be pissed off when playing in conference and championship games and bowl games took away recruiting time for him. Which he's on the record is saying. He's on the record. Whereas Bill Belichick, would have to go out and put on something other than a sweatshirt and sweatpants with no underwear to go and talk to somebody's mom about how.

Oh, God, yeah. Yeah, that's where I'm, that's where this, that's where this falls apart. I don't know. See, we always think this, though, but then you see the photos of, like, you know, his lady friend, I don't know exactly what was going on and, you know, younger and, like, didn't he have some sort of a complicated romantic thing? Don't we all. Yeah, no. no it's it's pretty straightforward i mean i i don't i don't mean to do the like if you can get a hot babe you can run none of that type but you're suggesting that he shows there is a little bit more charm to

him than he likes to let on yeah and i think there's that much of it nick sabin for all for all of his perversity nick sabin in the room i mean the blindside did a very accurate job of capturing any report you've ever heard about Nick Saban in the living room with the mom and with the family. You don't do that unless you enjoy some element of being the person who outpitches somebody. I don't think Bill Belichick hasn't been to a grocery store in years. I don't think he enjoys trying to pitch anyone on anything.

True. And I mean, like you see Sabin with the media and he plays him like a fucking fiddle every week and Belichick just sort of like burps at them. I'll just stand here. want to know or next to stand here until you're done talking unless you ask about like

a punt rule and then I'll talk about it for eight minutes. Then I'll give like the entire history of football in exactly 928 words in an answer. That's like this is not somebody who this is not somebody who you want on the recruiting angle. This is not

somebody who you want. Do you think Phil Belichick showing up for a pep rally? Do you think he's thanking the band? Hey, welcome to midnight madness. Oh God. Yeah, he's going yeah, he's going to the women's basketball game. I'm so happy. Okay, yeah, I'm sold. But, but, but, but I've got a better one.

Oh, no. Jay Gruden. The man who is currently, is currently, has some sort of like a death bond with Kirk Cousins, who did manage to come back and beat last year's worst team, which was a gigantic turning point. Yes, we all did like it, Kirk. You like that? There are T-shirts now.

You like that t-shirts. Of course there are. The Redskins are probably printing them on T-shirts they stole off of poor children in Africa. Hey, those poor children said that they were fine with it. Hooray, our probably second-best quarterback actually beat a team. Yay. So, like, yeah, bring Jay to college where he can, like, fuck up some extremely promising four-star dual threat. And, like, just ride with the backup for no.

reason at all that'll be great um before we move on i just want to bring up one coach and this is mostly to antagonize one of our co-workers who won't even listen to this podcast um the coach who i think would implode in just the most embarrassing personal way uh in college that would be sean payton of new orleans saints who Jesus somebody floated him as like it was an NFL network or something and said like Sean Payton to the to USC and it's like do you know why USC just fired its previous coach what do you full disclosure Jason Kirk is a Falcons fan did you hear about the drinking and the rumored other medications perhaps because you know Sean has been known to enjoy medications although this is more this is more Jason-induced Falcons fans think we all agree if Sean Peyton brought Rob Ryan to Southern Cow with him, I'm fully on board. Well, because as we know, whoever is head coach, we'll be fired. And if you're talking about Rob Ryan, head coach of USC, okay, we're all on board.

Oh, my God. It's basically Ed Orgeron as Santa Claus. It's just long-haired Ed. Dude, it's basically like heavy metal album cover, Ed Orgeron. Yes. Yeah, like seriously, like Game of Thrones, Edward Joron. What we do is we also, since those two guys are new to the college game, we bring them, we have sort of a chaperone. which obviously that's Coach O

and then we're left with Rob Ryan and Coach O like sort of sumo wrestling for control of USC in like October The program that has swords Oh my God Let's do it. Sean Payton, USC Yeah, this is a terrible idea

And those opinions do not represent the opinions of Vox Mediaspination.com Anything with dot com on the end of it really that I'm attached to They definitely don't I have one more one more absolutely hollow NFL stuffed suit literally stuffed suit or stuffed leather jacket whichever way you'd like to do it who's actually been associated with the USC's job search before don't know one of the river jack jack del rio who is who is actually doing a fine job as an NFL head coach this time this time and like everybody wants to how many times have they're been He was with the Jags.

It was like a decade ago. He was with the Jags for 17 years. Yeah, but it ended a long time ago, right? 2011 is when he got fired. He was with them from 2003 to 2011. But let me just say this. In his time with the Jags, he went 8 and 8 or better five times in 9 years. Look at the Jags now.

They kill to be 8 and 8. They will kill to be 8 and 8. Get your children off the street. They've killed to be 8 and 8, and they'll do it again, and it won't work. It just makes me feel better. Yeah, I mean, here's the thing. Yeah. Okay.

Yeah, 8 and 8. After 2007, they fall off. They fall off. They just don't get close at all in a pretty weak division. Hey, man. Jack Del Rio has recruiting connections in California, in Florida, and Colorado. and Colorado. So three hotbeds.

Also got a punter maimed in his locker room. So was there a point where, I'm not going to look it up, where the AFC South had Jack Del Rio, Jeff Fisher, Jim Caldwell, and who would have been the Texans head coach at that point? Cubiak? Oh, my God. We need to stop talking about this.

I feel sick. What a crop of talent. I hope there's a photo. The AFC South Convention. The team photo? Do they do that? of AFC South Media Day like in college?

This podcast is just infected with the wasting disease that is the NFL. Is there an AFC South network that you can watch like the like the Big Ten network? Yeah, it's on

it's on CW. It's like channel 4,000. Yeah, it's on it's on some it's on like whatever the WB is now. Welcome to one TV. I would love it if pro divisions acted like college conferences.

It's like this week on one TD lane. If the if the The AFC East were like on basically like, you know, like the Yes Network on some sort of horrible Northeastern cable, basic cable channel. That would be perfect. James Vanderby guest stars on Texans football. Man, the Raiders Network, Raiders Network could be incredible.

It'd just be all like, God, what would it just be like Walker, Texas Rangers? It'd be like dudes in like 1978, just murdering each other. Just Ice Cube with a like 10 o'clock show where he debates the debt ceiling. with a man dressed in body paint? No, man, it's just like a picture of Ice Cube, and they play Death Certificate for three hours straight. It's all they, like, seriously, it'd be a great,

it'd be like a better cable channel than half the things on. This is a week where we have a game we don't want to talk about. Hey, Ryan, guess who Florida plays this week? I don't, why, you just said, yeah, guess who we played this week, come on. It's Georgia, it's fucking Georgia.

Get it out of your mouth. Fucking Georgia. You're a bad man. Not terrible human. We play Georgia this week. It's the world's largest cocktail party. Everyone loves this game. Who loves this game?

No one loves this game. Everyone loves this game. No. This has been, it may have been a glorious spectacle to watch Georgia's struggle, even with Ron Zuck. But the must-champ ears completely soiled this game, because every single year it was the worst game played. Every single year. That was the thing, is that Mark Rick did not have the decency to take Florida's doldrumiest years and and sup on them in disgusting 30 point win fashion.

Nope. Unwatchable, horrible 2417 garbage fires. Every single one of them, except for for last year. And we couldn't even do that right because as fantastic a game as that was in terms of the shame and hatred that we would have to feel for Georgia, right? Like the deliciousness of that was completely unsavory, thanks to the notion that it almost cost us keeping Will Must Champ. Yeah. And we basically had to beat Georgia Tech for a week to beat Georgia. So that was fun.

Georgia lost to Georgia Tech twice last year. Yeah, congratulations. A hell of an engineer, the Florida Gator. Yeah. But even that, like Will Must Champ couldn't even give us that. He had to screw that up as well. What would you describe your confidence level in Florida going into this game, Spencer? If any.

I mean, not bad. How's that? Not bad. Like, pretty rational, feeling okay. Like, feeling okay. Like, I see ways that we could lose this game, and I see ways that we could easily win this game as well. Because George is kind of a shambles, and that's probably when they're most dangerous. But at the same time, those shambles can't be unshambled because I think.

think they do have legit problems at quarterback. I think we got a mean defensive line. I think that offensively, they've lost their identity in terms of what they do. I don't think they have much in the way of quarterback development coming from the staff. I just don't think that they're either congealed as a staff or capable of doing that. And defensively, they'll give up yards. They will. They have and they will.

Like the biggest, this year's Georgia, South Carolina game was to 2015. what the Texas A&M, South Carolina game was to 2014, like the extremely illusory, early result that I think ruined the team's expectations for what was actually going to happen down the road. Okay, I still have no confidence whatsoever

and am fully prepared for Florida to lose this game in a turnover filled let's call it to touchdown loss. Yeah, that's fair. But I am broken, and you shouldn't listen to me. Florida's only favored by three here. No, that's about right That feels fine

I mean I feel like yeah It's not at home But it's closer to Florida I feel like if this neutral site We're talking about like two points I don't think I can emphasize Two better than two points better than Georgia so far I don't think how much I can emphasize

That the cocktail party At Everbank Field in Jacksonville Truly feels neutral Well yeah that's because I mean you look around and you see jags stuff. I'm just saying from the perspective of travel for players and so forth

not like number of fans. Yeah. Oh, God. You should know this too. That Georgia's who man, Georgia let Tennessee have 519 total yards.

They let Alabama have 379, but honestly Alabama pulled up. They really did. They could have had well over 400 yards in that game. They let Vanderbilt have 400 total yards and just feasted off turnovers. Damn, this is the same Vanderbilt that just beat Missouri 10-3? Uh-huh.

And it's the same Georgia team that won over Missouri 9-6. Oh, God. I forgot that game existed. Yeah. So, like, how are your emotions swaying, learning this information, Ryan? Honestly, it's just... Are you feeling more, like, uncomfortable confidence? It's making me feel worse, because all you're doing,

is emphasizing that Florida should win this game. And now I just feel crumbier about the possibility that they won't. I mean, Florida beat Tennessee. Yeah, I mean, this is going to look like every other Florida game. They'll probably score in their opening two drive, slow down for a while, get one light hit. I mean, this probably looks like a 2117 game. Oh, God.

So every other Florida Georgia game for the last five years. Yeah. But with a greater chance of us coming out of it, because this coaching staff is smart. That's true. Coaching staff's pretty smart and they know what they don't have and what they do have. And our defensive line is filled with, you know, angry monsters from another dimension. So that's a good thing.

I'm trying to talk you up to, I'm trying to talk you up to mildly depressed. This is a weird dynamic because usually you are the most negative person about Florida. That's true. I'm a terrible fan. Can we move on, please? Yeah, I'd love to move on. I would love to literally talk about anything else. Okay.

When do we put this on our unaligned soulless brother, who does not have a team that drives him absolutely insane every single week? That'd be Jason Kirk. Jason, to the passionless, objective watcher of a fan that you are. Everything is fine. As a soulless robot of a sports observer. I prefer the term unkillable cyborg, but sure. I always think of Jason more as like a wandering, a wandering warrior.

just without a master He's the Keith Caradine He's a Ronan He's a Ronan Just wandering around You have my sword Although I also do think of him as like David and Prometheus

Right? Like it's fascinating Why don't we put this in your bloodstream And see what happens Why don't we see what happens If we put Must Champ in your bloodstream? I'm like, no! I feel like it's more like I'm a Pokemon collector

Because I'm like, sure I'll try out being a Michigan State fan Art's off and Utah fan And I'm adding Houston too. So I kind of, as soon I'll have a team at every conference. At one point, Jason Kirk will talk shit about me too, though. He'll get attached to a Pokemon. He'll talk shit to me too and then get turned to stone.

Or I'll like talk shit about one of my own teams accidentally. Yeah, then you get turned to stone. You'll have to, like, the Pokemon tiers will have to revive you. But here's a game, though. Stanford at Washington State at 10.30 p.m. Eastern. Hell yeah. Quite arguably the biggest game of the weekend because the winner, basically wins the Pact 12 North and goes to the conference championship.

And like these two teams have both been hot. If you haven't looked up Washington State's passing stats over the past three games, protective eyewear first. It's like basically the photographs of Stanford's linemen's butts as passing numbers. Just large and shapely. Two teams with drastically different styles and the worst team gets home advantage in a really weird place to play, hopefully with crazy weather, probably not,

but real late at night for some of us. This is going to be real fun. Probably for like eight minutes. Also, as directly opposed as two teams can possibly be in terms of overall philosophy. Yeah. I mean, I feel like Stanford can, Stanford can score with anybody.

They'll just do it their own way. Whereas Washington State, I mean, whether they're up, whether they're behind, whether things are good or bad, here they come it's a little bit of a shame though because we're building this up and it is a road game for stanford and this being a road game for stanford they are they are going to button down they are going to some of the cooler things that they have been doing offensively will be replaced by drudge they will just attempt to turn the other team into like a tackling sled for the entire second half of this game if they get up early they will try nothing nothing interesting which still might work because christian mcalfa He's carrying the ball out of the backfield. And again, people who go to bed early, East Coasters, Christian McCaffrey is astonishing.

Absolutely astonishing. I think over the past three games, he's totaled 600 yards of total production because they have returning kicks, too. He's just been amazing. So at the very least, you get to see that. You get to see a Washington State offense that actually looks like a Mike Leach offense. Like a proper Mike Leach offense. They're going to throw the ball 60 times, but they'll actually score points.

and they run the ball a little like they're not an amazing running team a little but but they have already in what uh seven games this season they've already run for 160 more yards than they did all of last season yeah it's not it's not an amazing it's it's very much a three and a half four yards per carry running attack but it's a hell of a lot better than what they did last year I feel like that was probably all before the famous vine of Mike Leach staring off into space while someone's gesturing at him to make a call. Like that moment was and he was like, what the hell? What do we have all these rushing yards?

What are we doing? Take back the wheel. This is not my beautiful wife? Yeah, you think he was thinking about football. He wasn't. I guarantee you. He was probably like, what was it like the battle of Little Big Horn? What if Blackbeard and the Matahari had a baby?

And that baby was me. Yeah, this happened. I know that baby. Go for one. We go for one or two. You go for one. It's easy here. Come on.

Coach, we have to go for, then go for two. Listen. So easy. God, football's not hard. Yeah, that's it. It's been a very interesting season for them because they have a, there is the capacity in this team. Like, it's possible that they could,

end up finishing first in their division. They could end up making the Pac-12 championship game. They really could. Like, it's not likely, but it's possible. And they could do that after opening the season by losing to Portland State, FCS Portland State. They're probably going to win at least eight games. I wouldn't go that far.

You don't think they have three games left they can win on here? They still get to play Arizona State, Colorado, and Washington. Okay, they can beat Colorado. Okay. I think they can probably be Washington. It's the Apple Cup and I generally, for some reason, I just generally give the advantage to Washington State and bad ears. Okay.

The Apple Cup, I don't know why I have nothing scientific to back that up. All right. Then here's the other game. Let's put them at 6.5. UCLA in mid-November after we've all gotten back on the UCLA bandwagon. Ooh. All right. Okay.

If UCLA racks up like a couple wins, then, yeah. Okay. Yeah, also you'll need another injury. You'll need Josh Rosen to get, like, typhus from his hot tub. They took away his hot tub. They'll have to, like, sprain an ankle trying to get back his hot tub. I was going to say, he'll have to do that because he went to the hot tub in the locker room and slipped and, like, bruised his hip. No.

I told you guys it'd be easier if it were in my room. This is on you. This is on you, housing staff. And it's always on you, housing staff. you guys are dicks. Then you have to go beat Washington State housing staff. Yeah. Which, you know, I put Washington State only as seven-point favorites.

True. Washington State's roster is mostly consisting of former housing staff. Yeah. But, yeah, you know, we're going to run RA 34 Green Left. R.A. 34 Green Left. Like a Mike Leach play calls that law. Yeah, we had a players-only hall meeting. We've decided to have a social on Thursday.

Ice cream only. the other games this week of interest besides the uh besides Washington state and Stanford the late night special which is actually of some serious value we kind of thing yeah yeah we have kind of another weird game

if you want to just throw another wrench in the completely fouled machinery of the SEC West that'd be Old Miss at Auburn because Auburn is terrible and therefore probably pretty dangerous hosting Ole Miss in a road game for them Rebels.

Auburn's not going to win this game. I'm building it up. Auburn's terrible. Why? Why are they so bad? This game's at noon. I'm telling you, Wilmos James going somewhere else after this year.

This is not working. I just, I mean, I don't think this staff is on the same page. Someone floated South Carolina for him. Oh, God. I mean, but that, he almost took that defensive coordinator job, right? It was basically between Auburn and, South Carolina. It was Auburn and A&M were the...

Was that the other... Okay. A&M was also in it, and then A&M sort of had a... Had another thing going on. And then South Carolina found them a hoke. Yeah. South Carolina decided, yeah, we'll just add a hope to what we already got. That'll be good.

I found this hoax at a garage sale. You can take that off to college. We don't have to buy you a new laptop. A new hoke. It's like buying a used alpha-Romeo. It's just... Did they even make parts for this? Hoke anymore. Nope.

Nope. You got to use a Fiat Carverator on that. The other, that's bad. It's very, very bad. The other games of interest, USC at Cal, USC look great.

They look phenomenal against Utah. Probably means they're going to look terrible against Cal. Oh, it's true, but. And Cal looked real bad. Yeah. Right. Against UCLA. So they're probably going to come back,

look real good. That just seems to be, it seems to be the trajectory. the pack 12. Everybody gets three losses. Am I missing anything in this week? Which is this is kind of a, I think, a middling week, a middling to good. I will, this is an excuse That's generous. This is an excuse to shoehorn in a, another question. This question from Wade at 7-dub-7 wanted us to say a few nice things about Pitt football Thursday night, North Carolina at Pitt. And those are two six and one teams, I believe. Yeah, the numbers don't

lie. It's October 27th when we're recording this, and Pitt is six and one. And so, and North Carolina is six and one, and the one was the flukiest, stupidest loss to South Carolina with three interceptions in the red zone. In week one, mind of June. Yeah. Like the week one where you totally haven't even taken the tags off of our new shoes. So there, I mean, I don't believe either of these

teams has beaten anybody all that impressive at this juncture, but it's still two six and one teams that could make a little bit of noise. One of them, one of these teams could be on the way to a very nice nine-win season, which, you know, if you're Larry Fedora, hey, way to bounce back in a year when the fans are really not happy with you. And if you're pit, look at that. You nail the coaching hire. That feels fun. Hired a damn magician. And I would also point out, while we're saying nice things about Pitt, they are doing all of this without the reigning ACC player of the year, James Connor. Yeah.

I mean, we don't talk about it because it's Pitt. But if Florida State lost Dalvin Cook at the beginning of the year and started 6 and 1, we'd be tripping over ourselves talking about what a coach Jimbo was. This is really an impressive coaching job by Pat Narduzi. um he's he's really buffering his his buffing his resume and is uh you see what's happening here right yeah yeah yeah shit so shit i'm sorry i'm sorry man we i'm sorry wade i didn't i didn't mean for this to happen we flew too close to the sun well there's no son in pittsburg no no don't worry about that but right now hey pit that like bill connelly pointed out in the numerical today you know

Pitt used to have like the worst close game luck in America. It was like how is this even possible? And now they've won, I think it's like four one score games this year. Like their only loss was to a like 90 yard field goal by Iowa.

You can't really count that. But otherwise they've been one of the clutches teams in the country. That's pretty cool. And by the way with dirt, this is like in case Pat Noo-Doozy hadn't learned from the master enough doing it in classic like Mark Dantonio fashion. Statistically they're crap. Like, look at all of their stats, and they're all, like, middling to crap, all of them.

That said, they can pass a little bit. Nate Peterman has been pretty good for them. Yeah, I... He's like a top 30 passer right now. His numbers are not all that different. I mean, Deshaun Watson throws ball a lot more. But in terms of, you know, yards per attempt and TD to I&T and completion percentage, He's not that far from Deshawn Watson.

Which they get real efficient off play action and off of like an active run game. Yeah, and they're only throwing the ball 18 times a game, but whatever. As opposed to North Carolina, who just throws the ball all over the yard all the time. So this is a game where I'm like, I'm kind of talking to myself into pit. You look at it and you go, as our friends in the solid verbal say, you know, the shockingly decent pit, right? Semi-decent pit, depending on what you want SDP to stand for. I'll say shockingly because this is a team

that I don't think North Carolina like if North Carolina turns a ball over a couple times which they will do this is a team that wants you to do that this is a team that wants you to try to do stuff so they can just take that turnover march down the field get a field goal maybe a touchdown and then slowly

close the trap in on you so look at that we just we talked about Pitt for like five minutes Pitt is your shitty friend in third grade who always said you could make that jump on your bike but really just wanted to laugh at you when you couldn't. Look at you, you tried something. Come on, man. Come on. That ramp's going to hold.

We made it ourselves. That was so dumb of you. One, a couple of minor things to watch this week, just of interest. Clemson at NC State. I don't know anything about NC State. I watch them play. Don't know a damn thing about them.

But it's another opportunity for Clemson to flex on a relatively weak conference. Georgia Tech at Virginia, just don't even look at it. What the fuck is wrong? Why would you even invite that? Good God. Just saying Georgia Tech's probably going to lose that game.

Georgia Tech's plan now is to tank until they get to the Georgia game to embarrass Florida State. And that's a fine plan, and I respect it. It's happened before. Yep. Totally really has happened before. Other games of note, who...

Other games not to watch, how's this, okay? NC17 rating on Miami at Duke. Just so high. Oh, we're going to be working out some. Duke, which has gone from being another little throwing it around team to having a super legit defense, and that's it. And we saw how Miami's offense look last week.

Yeah. Speaking of super legit defenses, Vanderbilt travels to Houston. uh for a seven o'clock game and i think houston's probably going to want to show off their toys you think i think i think houston is going to want to show that they can because they already have a road win over louisville which looked better at the time than it probably ends up being but whatever beating vanderbilt is nobody's idea of announcing that you have arrived that doesn't mean you can't just beat the shit out of anderbilt to feel better a lot of A lot of Florida teams did that over the year.

We also have... And, you know, more people witness it than they would at Vendee, so might as well do it in Houston. Wow. Let's, uh, this is one thing to keep an eye on here. Just, just a little thing. Like, I don't think they'll have any trouble with them, but Oklahoma State goes to Texas Tech for a 3.30 game. Oklahoma State, undefeated, by the way.

Yeah, you're welcome. I just told you that. You didn't know it, but believe it or not. We say, we say that. this every week and it never takes. This is a real interesting matchup for Oklahoma State because the things they do on offense just compare really in a certain way to Texas Tech. And I think Texas Tech, their offense, Patrick Mahomes, I believe it's how you pronounce

his name. That is how Mac Brown would pronounce it. It's got a little Spanish in it. Patrick Mahomis. Mahomase. He'll be able to attack the weaknesses in Oklahoma State's defense. knows them because we've all studied this team and know a lot about it that's true yeah also also there's the dumbass the dumbass uh but somewhat accurate prediction of hey you're going to lubbock

bad things bad bad nothing but bad thing even if you win nothing but bad things happen out there patrick mahomes fine quarterback recruited him at safety we might have been wrong on that call i just i always put in safety because it's the fewest letters you can put in on the recruiting form and I just like to save ink. It's that or center? Come watch us play at UCF next year. UCF, it's like Texas, but with Disney. Are we going to talk at all about the Game Day game?

Pardon? Yeah, pardon? Where are they going? Not Pullman. No, not going to Pullman. They're going to Notre Dame at Temple. Yeah. Yeah, Temple's not winning this game.

This is a pretty, this is... If Temple wins, the score is like 13 to 11. Oh, yeah. If Temple wins, it will be in the style of two dads fighting in a Home Depot parking lot. If Temple wins, it will be the grossest game of the year. Yeah. Notre Dame was in there, but then that dad started throwing up. And then Temple just kept kicking him in the neck.

See, he had a bottle of window cleaner. And he came clear, oh boy, came clear across the top of his head with it. And then he wasn't right for the rest of the fight, you know? he's bigger and stronger you can tell he goes to the gym other dude though he he done took this rake which ain't fair but he had it so now we're talking like dad extreme backyard wrestling anyway i got the back splash that you asked for like he would have jumped off the table but that's a real nice table and his and his knee gets tricky when it starts to rain and this by the way well while he was up on the roof to do the the the senton splash off there he decided to go ahead and clean the gutters clean the gutters AAC, AAC! AAC! AAC!