Shutdown Fullcast - Shutdown Fullcast 3.28.0

Episode Date: November 2, 2015

WEEKEND REVIEW AND FRANK BEAMER APPRECIATION EPISODE. Oh hell yes, what you wanted in the Fullcast was even more wandering and discussion of that time Frank Beamer's kin shot up a courthouse. Topics (besides courthouse shootings) include: --That thing that happened in Duke/Miami, and why you could not pay any of us enough money to deal with any of that mess ever --Hey, remember when Minnesota shifted eight times and had three players in motion during a clock play against Michigan? That happened, too. --Oh, another thing that happened: the time Georgia got bored and made their quarterbacks all do things they weren't good at --Georgia lost. To Florida. We talk about that for a while, because we can. Because Georgia lost 27-3 to Florida and made their second-string quarterback their punter. (He was pretty good! But still!) --No really Georgia made their running quarterback throw 33 times in his first start and only rushed him four times. --An appreciation of Frank Beamer, the only person who could make you think a 12-10 ACC game was cool and worth watching Learn more about your ad choices. Visit megaphone.fm/adchoices Learn more about your ad choices. Visit podcastchoices.com/adchoices

Welcome to the shutdown forecast. Oh, my. Do we have things to discuss football-wise? Because I want to start off with Jason Kirk. We delegated this to him. Something happened this weekend that really hasn't happened in quite a while, which was a complete, utter shambling disaster of amazing proportions with no actual impact on like a national title picture, but still like pretty much what I watch,

football for yeah a bad thing happened to duke a real a real bad thing happened a a cc officiating thing happened part part of it that was part of it um and these things tend to go in duke's favor across all sports uh but this time in this particular sport didn't go in duke's favor um and we shouldn't overlook that the the officiating thing which the ac c has come and admitted was wrong was only a part of the play which was Miami laterally eight times with the clock

off to run and kickback 97 yards probably more like a total of more like 200 to knock off the Blue Devils which was I mean

we've seen like three all-time amazing endings this year and I guess you'd put Michigan State Michigan over it just because of like the magnitude of the game but but in sheer amazingness like this this this this tops the other two no and if you have to know what's really absolutely fantastic about this it's kind of a litmus test for i think what kind of a fan you are because this happened and pretty soon everybody watching divides into one of several camps one camp is my camp which is the complete absurdist nihilist camp which acknowledges that yeah you there was probably a guy with this knee down. And yeah, there were probably like four different rules, which by the way, that was exactly the number, apparently according to the ACC officials, four different rules

blown on one play to completely screw another team and who didn't care because it's a human game played by human people and officiated by humans who even with replay can make massive mistakes. That was my camp, which is, okay, this is a game. You can try to build in some kind of well you should be able to overturn that rule we don't do that this is a game that's filled with flaws played by humans scored by humans you build it everything

you can and then the rest the rest is a matter of circumstance and history yeah and the you know this game should be overturned David Cutcliffe is out there today saying there should be a way to change a game after it's already ended

oh David which is I mean we we all like Coach Cut here but this some real duke shit coach that's that's that's some duke shit if i've ever heard it yeah there should be a legality we should have a lawyer who should we should pay to advocate on our behalf to overturn this there was also the camp of people who were very much the kickoff truthers who looked at every single interaction on the play as being illegal as opposed to like yeah that guy's knees down yeah there's only one problem here like you

don't have to go and say, oh, this dude without a helmet is like a yard off the sideline after, like, you know, the guys basically already scored. Fine, whatever. It's a Miami game. If that's the worst thing happening, great. But, like, there was a player down. Just focus on that. There was maybe a block. Maybe they should have not picked up the flag on this other block. There was a guy down. And, like, he got away with it. You know, it's college football. Suck it up. There is a third special camp here that we should discuss because, and that camp is mostly

made up of Miami fans. Oh, yeah. It is, you know, if you're a Miami fan, I think the best way to react to the win and the subsequent ACC decision as to the floundering job the referees didness came is best embodied by the Miami Hurricanes official Twitter account, which is shrug emoji. But some Miami fans, I mean, I think it's just, if you could just like embody the Degeneration X crotch chop, that's how every Miami fan should be acting for the next, for the entirety of this week. Right. Some Miami fans, though, man, they really want to talk about the 2003 Fiesta Bowl.

They really, really want to talk about, hey man, you want to go back and change the past? You want to go unkill my grandpa? We can do that? We can. It's back to the future week. It just happened late. Look at that. Ohio State, your championship's fading away in this picture.

Which I do like to be awkward. I enjoyed Ohio State fans in that little micro conversation backing out slowly because they know. They're like, hmm, what a fascinating idea. I think I'll defer on this conversation. It's like one where Ohio State fans sort of charge in and then wait, wait, wait, wait, we don't. really belong to do to do you know what the most jim trestle thing to do would be to punt on this conversation punt put to win it's it's applicable to life i'll just punt and run the ball out of this conversation and then the and then the fourth category of people people who want to use

this as an excuse to talk also also a good deal of miami fans people want to be like well hey on that last drive duke was getting all the calls which is which is interesting because it takes It takes the normal sort of wiggle room in officiating and says, because refereeing is imperfect, all imperfections should be fine. And that's kind of a crazy way to look at the world, but it's also kind of beautiful. I think that that is the camp I am in. Because if you, Miami, the program of finger guns in the tunnel, you know, the program that the NCAA, actually made rules that were that were labeled the Miami rules they had a school

record number of penalties yesterday Saturday 23 so if you're trying to tell me that the refs you know if they blew this in favor of Miami well okay I mean if if if if not for that it wouldn't even come down to that play so I mean to me it's yeah the refs fucked up in every direction. If we're going to worry about one knee over everything else, okay. There's enough. Go ahead, I'm sorry. Well, that argument, I like that argument because it's just to me that you go to the homeowners

association and be like, hey, Pete down the street, you know, his hedges are taller than the minimum allowed, so it's okay if I have a wild panther on my property. Because obviously we're not following HOA guidelines anymore.

I'm sorry, this cat's out of the back. Literally, he's out of the bag. And that is also a very Miami way to approach things. Just get a wild animal that you're not allowed to have on your property. My other thing is this. When this happened, I remember it happening. And people really have a very poor sense of empathy for the people involved in the situation. Now, this is particularly true of officials because I think, you know, in sports in general, we have zero empathy for officials at all because they're the people who make things unfun. They're the ones who keep you from cheating.

They're the ones who tell you to stop climbing on the furniture. Oh, stop. You can't eat the candy after 6 p.m. Yeah, they're the adults in the room. And they're never fun. Like, I think, I can think of, like, if you think of, like, beloved officials, there's, like, one soccer official who's beloved. Ed Hockely is semi-beloved, but that's only because he's an old man who refuses to

wear a shirt that fits his huge biceps. Exactly. Like, we know Ed Hoculey, but most of the time, if you know an official's name, it's not really good. For instance, Alan Eck, we know Alan X name. And Alan X crew, who worked the Big 12, committed shameful officiating again in the Texas Tech Oklahoma State game, particularly regarding a targeting call, which like by the book was totally right. Like, it was a face-to-face tackle, but it was more incidental.

Like, it was one of those, yeah, you jaywalked. There's no reason you should make somebody, you know, like pay $250 for a jaywalk. talking ticket if they were a second early into the lane, right? You got to make that quota. Got to make that quota. Apparently the Big 12 is paying Allen neck by the penalty. But if you know a guy's name, it's not good, right? Okay, so

the point being, this game happens, and if you were watching it live, I remember thinking, like watching it going, oh yeah, I'd want nothing to do with that. It's not like, on most plays, you're pretty much, you're divided up into a crew and you're looking at, you know, several

interactions at once. On a kickoff, It's literally a man running through traffic, right? Well, Alan Kenney raised this on Twitter earlier today. Why would anyone want to be a referee ever? Why? It's not a full-time job. It's not a full-time job. I think that's kind of a misconception.

This does not, they don't go to a ref school like, you know, every other day. All these guys just go back to normal jobs. It's impossible to do this job perfectly, right? Like, no referee crew has gone out there and been like, yep, we made every call that we were supposed to. There was, there's always room for somebody to say, oh, you missed a hold there. Oh, that was offensive pass interference. Oh, you know, that was, he was past line of scrim. Like, whatever.

There's always something that somebody, you can't get 100 on this test. And you don't have to take this test. Why are you taking this test? Because I was looking at that, like, this unfolding. And they said, okay, well, now it's up in the replay booth. And I thought out loud watching it. I was like, leave. Just walk the hell out.

Upon further review, Jimmy's going to come down here in about five minutes. He's going to tell you what happened. Everybody has a great night. That might have been what happened because the first time the head ref came out, he said, upon further review, hold up. Hold up. And they had to go back in for some more. Hold up.

Hold up. I'm buzzing. My phone's blown up. Yeah. BRB. Yeah, BRB. Just tack that, tack BRB poorly. written onto a piece of paper that I put up on the window, right?

Like, and just walk. Bye. Bye. Just set the whole place on fire. You don't pay me enough to unravel this crap. And what those two teams did in the course of the toss drill at the end of the game, yeah, that's almost ungovernable. I think we should, though, give everybody, like, the NCAA should have an amnesty day.

And every school gets to submit a secret ballot. and you can change, you can have one game in your history that if you can identify and say this call lost the game for us, you get that win. But you have to, you have to go dig them up. And we just see what happens. So every school gets to pick one? Every school gets to pick one. And they can count like, because you don't know, because you know, like, you can also use it to block. That's what I like about this scenario that I just literally came up with. So if Ohio State wants to say, well, we win the 2000, you know, Miami wants to say we win the 2003 Fiesta Bowl. Ohio State can use the block if they want, or they can use it for

another game in their history if they want. Well, they would, if they were to block, they'd have to spend it on like, oh yeah, well, they miss this, this hold in the first quarter, which butterfly effect. Exactly. The whole game is invalid. Replay the 2003 Fiesta Bowl. Get all the players. Bring them back for one game only.

Yeah, which is all. Ed Reed, got a suit back up. He would. God, damn it. Everyone's fucked. Here comes Ed Reed. Just Ed Reed and Steve Smith playing the world's meanest game of backyard old man football. Yeah, we're doing touch, right?

No, no, no, no, no. Hell, no. No, no. Never that. Ed's going to make you feel this. I'm sorry, Welles, but we do have to keep this game accurate. Oh. Damn.

God. He was an all-pro. It's okay. He healed. He did. after his leg went back and said he healed like he's done this before he can do it again exactly listen there's only one person here who can do this as experienced that's willis megahue who's basically wolverine he's he's he's kind of like slow acting wolverine 12 hour wolverine frank gore doesn't get enough credit

for that by the way frank gore is torn every ligament and his like legs all of them and he's still playing he's playing for the colts so who's to say how smart that is but he's yes but he's still And he was good. Like at Miami, it was like, yeah, I tore his ACL again. I'm like, Frank Gore has like eight ACLs. He's torn all of them. I mean, your name's Gore. What is bodily damage really going to do to you? I would make the case that he just got that all out of the way early. So that when he got to the pros, it was like, yeah, it's just bone on bone. He can actually only be hurt by magic. He can hear it. He can only be hurt by magic damage. People don't know that. Yeah, exactly. And he's in Indianapolis, so there's no magic there. He's fine. You got to use

fire arrows to defeat Frank Gore. A little tip from me to you. But yeah, like, you don't pay me enough to make that call, that decision, like, as an ACC ref, because I know, LOL officials, no big deal, you'll get death threats. Like, you'll get people calling your house. Like, I know people who've officiated games that ended badly on admitted mistakes, and you're going to make a mistake, and guess what they will do? They will call you and say that they are looking at your house through the scope of

hunting rifle. Which, yeah, that's what cowardly rednecks always do. I'm going to come kill you. That's imaginative, Bubba. Thanks. I guess with these particular fan bases, you don't have to worry about hunting rifles at least.

Now, there are scopes, though. Yeah, for a Miami fan. Yeah, I mean, like, Miami fans, like, they got silencers and shit. And, like, the Duke fans, they have an underling who has, like, a fox hunting gun or something. No, you'll just get audited.

That's it. piss off dude that's worse i think that's probably worse yeah i mean it's a push i mean i mean a miami fan's like yo i got a laser side on my machete where's the utility in that i don't know bro you want to find out deadly accuracy deadly deadly deadly activity it looks dope as fuck that's the real utility what you don't recognize that a tripped out machete if you don't recognize that probably means you're gay just saying Get a machete with an air horn on it.

DJ Khalid absolutely has three of those. How accurate. DJ Khalid said the word accurate. That's true. You can look up the vine. That's amazing. The other thing that astonished me this weekend in terms of officiating. Just to show you that like officiating is, let's just show you that like officiating is just

part of the flow of the game and you're going to have to deal with it. And I think this is one thing that like soccer fans deal with a lot better than football fans, because football fans, American football like George Carlin was right, it's famously legalistic, right? Like, hold up, hold up. The coach has made a motion to review the previous motion, right? We will now retire to chambers. Yeah, we'll now retire to chambers. Very small chambers. We'll go to the appeals court, right? And by the way, the call for like a central officiating office is my favorite thing in this when people like, like Clay Travis suggested

of this. Clay Travis is not entirely full of bad ideas. Okay? I said that. Sure. He has some bones and some stomach acid and probably some human hair. Some non-human hair. You never know. But

anyway, the idea of a central replay office for any of these things is side splitting to me because do you want to see the Sunbelt try to run one of those? I love you Sunbelt, but in the far-flung corners of the world where you play football, do you want to like rely on that like high grade wireless router so calling time order

the proposal is yeah we're talking about having like a switchboard in like Kansas or something with like the like a wall of screens and there's so hey babylene you put me through to central put me through to the the like like so it's Phil steel they're just calling Phil Steele's house and and he just points at the one TV and has one of of his 19 interns, figure it out. The play is under further review until we unplug and plug back in the router. I think in order to really make this fully interactive,

one conference has to have the like phone a fan where they determine what happened on the play. But they put your name and personal contact information on the screen, just like the ref. Yeah, that's maxion. Yeah, solving this is Ryan Nanny of Brooklyn, New York. Just hang out. Just hang up, don't answer the phone.

You get some lunatic hustle belt fan showing up at your door. Yeah, I... The other reason you can't have these is because college football fans will try to hack that center. In certain conferences, yeah. Yeah. That's going to happen. Like, like, the big... I think actually it wouldn't be the SEC first, because I don't think we're smart enough to do it right quick.

I think it's probably like... It's probably like Pac-12. Skynet has determined that you were out of bounds. Yeah, like, you're like, man, Stanford's getting all these appeals. That probably would explain a lot. Skynet has determined the best thing for the Pac-12 is to no longer have Arizona football. Skynet has launched the nukes. Maybe Pac-12 reps have been robots all along, and it's just an experiment that's not really getting much better.

Yeah, this glasses ref models clearly like a C-minus. But so lifelike. Yeah, I'm barely. Barely like... Previously on Terminator, Pac-12. Perf. Previous. Damn it. This explains so much. The other thing, like, officiating was, like, there was a great Washington-Stanford game.

A Washington State made a play which appeared to be a strip of a Stanford wide receiver on the way out of bounds to end what would eventually be a touchdown drive for Stanford. in a game that ended, what, 3028? Yes. Yeah. And would have been like a deciding factor in that. But despite that, like, yeah, all right, maybe Washington State does something with that. But maybe they throw a pick six on the next play.

You don't know. Like the flow of events is undetermined. You don't know. Washington State dealt beautifully with it, by the way. They just drove back and stayed in the game until the very end. But, like, blaming the officials has always seemed like the weakest possible move. Except for maybe Duke, who could just be like, yeah, that was totally. incompetent we have a loss where we shouldn't have had a loss i do i do like that this is the second

example of i mean i guess the michigan game is slightly different because michigan did lose the game fair and square just in mind-bogglingly unexpected uh fashion i did like that the voters were like yep got to drop duke got to drop him for that loss that the ac c said shouldn't happen can't no no no you No, this is a dog-eat-dog world. Doesn't matter if the dog had an illegal firearm. Nope, counts. Also receiving votes, Miami. I didn't look, but probably.

The score, the numbers, number by their name's bigger. Move them up. The other thing that happened this weekend, like there were like nine things that happened. This is a pretty slow simmer of a weekend up until we got to like maybe 10.30. 1015 or 1030 because there was the end of the Michigan Minnesota game where Minnesota with I believe 20 seconds of yeah yeah 19 seconds on the clock got to run a goal line play like on the one like on the half let's let's bet well like I feel you're selling this short already okay okay correct me then so so Minnesota gets a long play that is initially ruled a touchdown on a on review it's very clear that the ball carrier's knee was down at the one-yard line before he got into the end zone. No question about that. But they do take the time to review it because it's a first down.

The clock won't stop until they set the chains. And Minnesota has all kinds of time to figure out what to do at the one-yard line with 19 seconds to go. They also have a timeout left. And then, Spencer, take it away. What do they do with these 19 seconds and a time-out at the freaking one-yard line? Correct me. I'm wrong. I think they have a pretty big two-tight-in

formation that they run with at least one shift involving two players and then a person in motion that burns all but like one second off the clock. Is that correct? Yes. It's even

more than that. They went from like a bunch tight jumbo set. I think they had three backs. And they went from that to a spread shotgun. Like, they moved everyone on the field except for the offensive linemen. There's not enough time to do that in, like, 19 seconds. Like, if the clock stopped, that's a great move.

Because, like, now you've got the defense expecting everything. But the clock was not stopped. So they had time for that. There were just, of all, there were so many options available to them. Option one, use your time out. That's fine. I don't think anybody would have killed Minnesota at that point by saying, like, well, it's the one-yard line.

If we stop the clock with 19 seconds, it's really just a matter of if we get in or not, it's not really a clock conservation thing. Option two, clock the ball. That's also probably fine. You can say, well, you know, if we can't get in in three plays, we probably wouldn't have had time to get in on the fourth anyway, whatever. And then there was whatever they did. Yeah, which ends up losing the game for them because they do get more play.

They run a QB sneak. It is one of the least effective QB sneaks I have ever seen. And Leidner gets stood up. Like, he stands up. Like, he gets to stand up with the ball. Right. A good six inches to a foot shy of the goal line.

And Minnesota loses the game. A game that they had, to that point, been completely competitive in. Shockingly, through the air. Minnesota, like, made... Miss Liner threw for, like, 330 yards or something? Yeah. Good Lord.

yeah and previously i think he'd thrown for like 30 that sounds right total i'm not i'm not gonna look it on the year i believe that's that's correct it was an efficient 30 though if yeah you you might want to you might want to look at that michigan you might want to take a gander you might want to get that looked out yeah yeah yeah because uh because you play one more team that can pass allegedly maybe depending because another thing that happened this weekend while we're just looking at like the vast scope of chaos Ohio State took a loss despite not playing a game this weekend

That happened Yeah You remember you forget about that J.T. Barrett J.T. Barrett gets an OVI Operating a vehicle well intoxicated. Remember Ohio, the state that's so full of DUI charges,

they had to come up with their own name for it. OVI. That way you can put it on a resume when you apply for a job out of state and people won't blink. OVI, huh? Is that some sort of... Oh, he might have some sort of disease.

Well, if we don't hire him, that's, you know, American Disabilities Act thing. Yeah, that and that and he's suspended for which game, interestingly enough? Speak of the gopher? Well, he's suspended for two games. He missed Ohio State's game Saturday against Bi State, which they did not look all that impressive, nothing new. And he's also suspended against the Minnesota Golden Gophers. Yep, yep, the

pesky Minnesota Golden Gofferts who, you know, they'll probably be in by 30 anyway with Cardale playing, but still, we've said that a lot, haven't we? We have, we've said that a lot. They won't struggle against a Mac team. No, there's no way. Ohio State will have a problem with this team,

not with Cardale in the house. Yeah, this is, Cardale's coming back. I mean, he's like our favorite player, but he picked his, because he picked J.T. Barrett up. Like, yeah, it's a great dude. Like, what a phenomenal human being that, you know, the guy that you might have just replaced as the starter due to a misdemeanor charge calls you.

And you're like, well, the least I can do is pick you up. I got this. I got it. You want me to buy a bagel sandwich? Yeah. We can stop by Panera. It's not like you have to watch your weight for a little while. Go ahead.

You've been eating right. Yeah, I'm on that Rafflesburger diet. I brought Twizzlers. Looking great. Other things that happened this weekend that we need to discuss before we go on to

more current affairs. There was, Temple's just like, I know they lost, right, to a demonstrably better by depth chart, Notre Dame team.

Temple's awesome to watch. Like, I don't mean necessarily entertaining. Okay. Yeah, no, they're just inspiring that they're like super organized.

And yeah, they lost, but I was watching them. I was like, you are in, I said this on Twitter, but like I didn't want to call them well coach, because I think when you call people well coach, it can just come off as being kind of like condescending, right? It's patronizing. You're like, oh, you're so well coach. Like, if you say well coach to anybody in any other field of life, it's like, oh, you don't actually have a soul, you just read a playbook.

It's like meeting somebody who's made their own canoe, who's carved their own canoe. You're like, that's impressive. I don't want to do it. And I don't think it's very fun. but that's cool that you did It's like you just called them articulate Yeah well it's like you said Well he's very well put together

He cleans up real nice He cleans up real nice Yeah exactly like Matt Ruhl put him together son Matt Ruhl who described on Twitter as being Looking like the wacky bartender On a sitcom He's Jarl rule's brother nobody knows that Where would he be without rule

But yeah, I really enjoyed watching Temple because they just were like, they were such a well-put-put-together, enthusiastic, hard-hitting. Like, they looked painful. They looked like a very painful, very coordinated team. Matt Rule will probably go, I don't know, probably go coach Miami. Oh, boy. Fail. Oh, the Temple Pipeline. The Temple Pipeline.

You know, you know Penn State fans want to hire him real, real bad. I know. Oh, man. With that lunch pale team. Uh-huh. Well, he's former, former paterno player Has proven he understands what it takes to beat This feisty Penn State team

Just, he's the answer to the problems He doesn't even wear a suit Maybe he plays offensive tackle, I don't know He just wears sweatshirts and barely shaves That does sound pretty Penn State Yeah, it certainly sounds like Penn State 2015, man anything else that we that we missed of note

we got to talk about frank well we do have to talk about frank before we talk about frank though I would like to do one moment it's a very personal moment you know where I'm going Doug turn the podcast off now

Doug Gillette any other Gouldog fan you can just turn the podcast on because I'm going to start just saying facts these are things that happened which were absolutely true in the 27-3 defeat of the Georgia Bulldogs. All of these things are true. None of them are made up.

I do not have to hate. I do not have to talk smack. I do not have to gloat. These are the facts, ladies and gentlemen of the jury. Fetone Bauta, who prior to this had not made a start for the Georgia Bulldogs and was at one point listed as third stringer, how many passes would you call in a start

for a start. How about 33? Well, I mean, I'm sure his calling card is that he's a not very mobile but highly accurate passer. No, no, he's a running guy. Actually? Yeah, actually. Let me well, actually, you

here. Yeah. In fact, both Mark Richt and Brian Schottenheimer said after the game that they started him because of his running ability. And his rushing stats, I'm sure, bolster that statement.

Wouldn't they? This is what professionals would do. They would do something because it made sense, correct? There would be a strategy, if you will. He ran the ball thrice. I'm not sure if that counts like a sack in there or not, which in that case it would be twice. But George ran the ball 22 times,

which is less than they managed against even Alabama, where they were down by 14 hours. after like eight seconds. That does include one sec, so. Yeah, so for four total yards for about a, but you know what? Hey, Georgia, you made the sex number. You had 69 yards rushing.

Here's another thing. Spencer, I know you're not a college football coach. If you had a running back who, I don't know, fractured, let's say, one of his hands early in a game, would you give him the bulk of the carries on the team for the rest of the game, or would you perhaps trust somebody else with the... I might lean on somebody else who,

like somebody who had previous... Like, Keith Marshall. Sure. Sure, Keith Marshall's been there before he's had to total load. I'd give him... I'd probably give him more than three carries, is my guess. That is why you're not the Georgia coach. Be fair, let's learn about this Keith Marshall felt.

Is he experienced? Is he like a former Blue Chip, you know, high schooler? Yeah, yeah. Oh, okay. Well, I'm sure there was no point in time where people thought, like, he was, Todd Gurley good and talked about them in the same sentence and maybe gave them

some sort of joint nickname. I don't know. As a freshman he ran for like 750 yards. Wow. Hmm. Yeah. Amazing. And like ATDs. You know, so I'm sure in this game he played a key part rather than the guy who had his hand injured. Sure. He did have one more

planned carry than the Russian quarterback. He had yeah, he had three designed carries for 16 yards. Cool, cool. Yeah, it's real cool. So here's a fun thing. The former backup quarterback, Bryce Ramsey,

who arguably has the most Georgia name of three quarterbacks, even including Grayson Lambert. What position did he play for this game? He was punting. Yeah, they put him at punter. He was punting. He threw the ball once. He punted five times,

which means he touched the ball more than Keith Marshall did. I assume Grayson Lambert was like off on the sideline just shooting mid-range two-point jump shots or something that would make as much sense like de-tackle. Hey man

you want to you want to be up in the booth today? I do not understand Mark Rick has a fascination with taking quarterbacks who are second or third string and making them do things on special teams. Like the designated which one was the designated point catcher?

Logan Gray, they took Logan Gray, and they made him fair catch every punt, whether it made sense or not. And I don't know if it's some weird. I don't know whether it's some weird, the meek shall be first, right? It's an object lesson, yeah. Right, like, oh, you think you're special. You're going to go out there and punt. Hey, man, Jesus was a carp. You're going to catch punts and you don't even get to run him back.

Jesus was a carpenter. I don't know why you think you're fancy. Also, did Georgia run a despicably. bad fake punt. Yes, they ran a really bad fake putt. Did they fail to get the ball to really great receiver Malcolm Mitchell more than four times? Yep, you betcha. Got the ball to him four times for 60 yards. That's, that's it. This was, like, if I were any, like, if it were anybody but Mark Grigg, he'd be gone. And we should, we should reiterate for people who don't have Twitter. Georgia has not scored a touchdown since Steve Spurrier stepped down.

from the University of South Carolina. Never get one again. They took them. Well, that ball's in the woods. I don't know what to tell you. It's like a sprayer said like, he did the like, got your nose trick. And then he actually took it. Mark Rick's befuddled looking for his nose.

This is where Steve, what did you do with it? It's gone. Sorry about that. Took old touchdowns with me. Guess you can come, you can come find me. I'm going to call you Taco Brahe. It's like an elf or something. Because I got your silver nose.

He's behind a tree giggling with a bag of touchdowns. Leprecon 5, the OBC. So, HBC, no, you're retired. He's just sprinkling them in Lubbock, Texas. Here you go. Who wants one? Happy Halloween, Oklahoma State. Ooh, ooh.

And Faton Bouta, Faton Bouta, had four interceptions. Four interceptions throwing into one of the best secondaries in the SEC. I know the SEC East East's just. trash, but Florida in year one could, in theory, they went out the way that they probably could win out. Like, you're looking at nine or ten games in year one. This is a green

program, because they're taking the SEC East trash, they're turning into energy. That's just energy moving forward. We take your Vandis, your South Carolina, your Mizzou's, you're Georgia's, because George is pretty trash right now. Absolutely garbage. Tennessee, do you

realize Tennessee is going to finish second in the division and maybe win 10 games. Yeah. And like Tennessee deserves that. Yeah. Like if they want everything running out, they could probably like, what,

nine? I think they can finish with eight or nine games. But Mark Rick ain't going nowhere, kids. No. Imagine you hired the man behind one of the most mediocre and fury-inducing offenses in the NFL, a guy who on third and six would ignore Tavon Austin and throw to a possession receiver two yards

behind the sticks. The guy who would also run Teyvon Austin up the middle as if he was like Jerome fucking Bettis. The guy who was... You're smaller, you can fit through smaller holes. It just makes sense. You're like Ant-Man.

Don't go down to the subatomic level. You get stuck in the center forever. He's got incredible strength if we just shrink him. Yeah, you're the guy, like, whether this comes down to this or not, like guys end up getting canned or retired or

put on the downward spiral of the career arc by hiring people who suck or hiring people who just do not fit right? Like go over, this is the Tuberville phenomenon right? Like Tuberville hires Tony Franklin which was just as bad a fit as you can imagine. He gets fired like in October and that's how he eventually gets out of Auburn, right? Gene Chiswick hires Scott Leffler, right? Scott Leffler

might have killed two coaches. Ooh, boy. Yeah, because Leffler was the OC for the most miserable offense at Auburn ever after Tony Franklin and he was the OC for Frank Beamer who we'll talk about in a second

when their offense went from miserable to miserable they really didn't you know the kind of just steady flat line it went from staying out of the way miserable to get in the way noticeably miserable well what Scott Leffler is he is the world's

worst building super because if your building is good, it will turn, it will, you know, get rats and have water damage. And if your building is already bad, he's not going to do a damn thing about it. That new drywall is never coming. Bobby Bowden? Bobby Bowden ends up hiring Jeff Bowden to be his offensive coordinator. And when things start going sideways, that's who takes the heat. And when you start just shedding assistance, that's when you are in the official Tupperville death spiral. The spin of suck. Yeah, because that's where you might be, man.

That's where they might be. But hey, it's okay, Georgia. You're not Nebraska. Because they won't fire their coach who can't win anything? Yo, Nebraska will do that. They might do that after a year. I don't think he's won enough to get fired. Yeah, we should not dig into it at all.

Nebraska lost to Purdue. Nebraska gave up, what, 50 plus points to Purdue? 52 with it? 55 points to Purdue. The most points Purdue has. scored in a big 10 game against somebody besides Indiana in decades. Yep. You did that, Nebraska.

I mean, just look at it this way. It was a Purdue game where their quarterback did not throw an interception. Not one. And where Nebraska is through four. Riker Fife. He threw four interceptions against. And let's look up. What's Bo Pellini's record?

at Youngstown? Is it better? It's better. Let's see. It's four and four. That's better. Okay. Okay.

And that's not even with his players. That's true. Just you wait. Just look at it this way, though. He's already lost four games. So he hit his quota. He's going to win out. He's done.

He's done. He's got losing out of his sister. He paid his debt. If he went nine and four in his first year, he was done. Mike Riley is not done. Because, have you seen what's left on this slate for Nebraska? It actually gets worse.

They just lost a Purdue. They just lost to Purdue. And here come the actual hard games. They have two home games left against undefeated Michigan State and undefeated Iowa. There is a substantial chance that Nebraska does not win a home game beyond September this year. Oh, God. you tell me if you think that that a vaunted

sellout streak is going to stick up if Iowa comes to town and they've already lost at this point it might with Iowa fans through these gates pass the greatest Iowa fans in football counts

tickets or tickets it counts hey turnstiles are spinning they're just out there doing the burrito lift I don't care I don't care of kids buy PG tickets to go see the R movie. We still get credit for that. Hey, listen, just a link,

original content, or aggregation. Doesn't matter. Clicks, baby. Iowa gets you clicks. Hate clicks. Hate clicks. That's it. Yeah. By the way, Iowa is still undefeated, y'all. That's it. That's the other bit of news.

When the whole day, Iowa, Iowa Memphis National Championship game. Yump. I have all for this. In Arizona. In Arizona, with 8,000 people in attendance. Be great. We will be several of them. A fire has broken out in the stands.

No, I'm sorry, that's gunfire. ESPN just hanging themselves. Executives throwing themselves out of the window. But look at our ratings in Des Moines. They're amazing. Actually, we finished behind an old episode of NCIS there. It's really big. Huge.

But it was a good, good. episode. Oh, it's super. Oh, my God. So it was a can't miss. The other the only other thing that I might want to note from this week, if we are reviewing the schedule as it looks is this,

that Florida State has one loss. That one loss is to Georgia Tech and that Georgia Tech team which had three wins coming in to this week, has three wins coming out, because they lost Virginia 27, 21.

And in my favorite headline of the week from ESPN.com, Virginia outlasts Georgia Tech. That's one word for what you were going through. You outlasted them. Like, we gave them both aggressive cancer. Let's see who dies first. Thank God it's over. Ration poisoning is a race to the fourth quarter.

They're both playing the disease game where somebody closes down Madagascar's airport. But look. It was Virginia. Outbreak. Look, ACC play was not all flubes. in flammery and embarrassment. Auburn really gave old miss all they could handle this week. It's true.

In a valiant loss. They can still win the coastal. They really could. They're out of the running in the SEC West. Yeah, this game didn't count for the conference standings for a no, no, no, no. They haven't taken that many conference losses in the ACC, Auburn. Let me give you another three.

So in the coastal, if you finish zero and zero, you win it, right? Well, they do have one ACC loss. Yeah Auburn? No, Auburn's 1-0 in the ACC Oh, that still counts, doesn't it? Oh, yeah.

Dang it. But I guess I was just saying theoretically You were to finish the ruins You were in the coastal Because everyone else is going to be 3 and 5, so you win But Auburn at 1 and 0 They're basically book them Auburn, you're going to Charlotte

Yeah, but they got to play Georgia still I think that's an ACC loss You're going to Charlotte They'll get count again The saddest future game, by the way I can just think of is Auburn, Georgia. Like, the oldest rivalry in the south.

Yeah, and that vintage, you pretty much want to burn those barrels. Throw them out this year. Someone's going to lose that. Someone has to lose it. It's amazing. For instance, let me give you another three and five team, by the way, because you like talking about three and five teams. Oh, and speaking also on the segue list of poor ratings for ESPN, Texas.

Texas. Don't forget this. You're going to forget. And all in this, like, mayhem of this weekend, Texas lost 24-0 in Ames to Iowa State. And this wasn't just like... This wasn't fluky. This wasn't like fluky. Oh, Ames got a punt return.

Or Iowa State games, like the whole city rose up. But it kind of did. That's what they did. Whole city behind us. 5,000 people out there. There's 11 longhorns. What is this? Clean water?

Oh! Holy Water on the Great Satan. No, this was a solid thumping. Iowa State had 238 yards rushing. Mike Warren went for 157. Texas could not move the ball. And do you know who was on the sidelines for free for Iowa State?

Paul Wolf. Paul, that's true. You got it. A program got better in one week by hiring Paul Wolfe. As a volunteer. As a volunteer. tear he's he's a lazy firefighter who just showed up yeah texas had 11 first downs man 11 that's it i was i was saying had more third down conversions than texas had first

downs they did they were awesome on third down they were 15 of 24 they were i think my favorite thing about this game is that texas had turned a corner like texas had looked great like three of its last four something like that like texas we really encouraging and pointing toward a bowl bid and all that and then kaboom like out of three years of badness the worst

thing happened after the corner was finally turned yeah this is this is by the way this is the candy game you're like man you were doing so well what happened I had too much candy I crashed Charlie's like fine

no guns it was my cheating It was my cheat day. It was my cheat day. Oh, slow carb tights killing me. When you look at Texas' sketch, you kind of circle one game. It's a cheat game. That's it.

Iowa State. I went to Ames. I had a whole bag of Swedish fish. Now I'm only allowed to beat Kansas by 10. Last thing I want to discuss is the retirement. Hopefully nobody's retired during this podcast. Can't rule it out. Because Norm Chowdy did get fired at Hawaii, which should surprise no.

because he was real, real bad at Hawaii. Don't wait too long to take that head coaching job, kids. You know that thing where they're like, when you're a 60, you'll become a patrician? No, take it, take it sooner because Norm went too long. Somebody who didn't wait too long and is retiring is Frank Beamer, who retired today, told his staff and we'll retire at the end of the season. Frank, more than anything else, like I thought the first thing I thought was this. I've watched like 10 ACC and Big East coaches who do not score,

play nothing but defense and special teams. And I thought, man, fuck that guy. I hate this shit. I hate watching it. It's just awful. But Frank Beamer would do that

and do nothing but play defense and score maybe one touchdown and two field goals a game. And I'd go, man, this is awesome. Love that dude. Like,

this is the Chan Galey, Frank Beamer cognitive dissonance because like Chan Galey would do a similar thing and play kind of a sluggish low tempo form of football and I'd go I hate this dude

hate him and Frank Bremer would do the same and I'm like oh that's good old Frank from Fancy Gap I think there's two things here one is the special teams thing like when you make it a big cool thing to block kicks you know and cause special teams mayhem

then it sort of gives you this little glimpse of like okay this team really does like fun stuff you know it just doesn't like doing it on offense but it doesn't age all that well it's like the guy who always does flaming Dr. Pepper is in college, then you're like, man, we're 37, and this is a business event. You can't keep doing this.

Well, it doesn't age well because they haven't been good on special teams in several years. Yeah, they keep burning themselves on the flaming Dr. Pepper's at least in this case. Well, now that it's like the Dr. Pepper's flat. I don't know. I think there's that, and there's also this style of football is such a cultural fit for that part of the world. Like, we're not talking about doing this in, you know, like Miami or something. Like, these are mountain people. These are Hardy Mountain people. If you want to bring that shit around here, throwing the football, no.

That doesn't play here in the hills. Yeah, what do we got? Nothing. I think that was probably like Frank Beamer understood branding. I think out of utility because they couldn't run that. They didn't have skill players, at least not until they started recruiting the Hampton Roads, you know, Virginia Beach area, which they did successfully for years and years and years and years. That's where they ended up recruiting Mike Vick out of, right?

But before that, like they had absolutely check nothing. And they kind of made it a brand. Like, what do you got? We're mean. Can you catch? Nope. You can't either. Can you throw?

Yeah, neither can you. Nobody's doing anything tonight. We're just hitting each other. Occasionally, we'll block a kick. We got an ex- Soccer player. He can hit from 50. That's it. And he did that.

He made the program like entirely like, enjoy your stay. Yeah, enjoy your stay. Like when I think about like what the most Virginia Tech thing ever is, it's to get to the national title game versus Florida State. and for three quarters watch Mike Vic just dazzle and then collapse because you have nothing. You have Mike Vic and you have a mean defense and eventually the fact that everybody on the other side of the ball is a full star and a half better than your guys that's going to add up. But that to me is like that and Frank Beamer beating the crap out of Lane Kiffin in a then Chick-fil-A ball, the now Peach Bowl again in his final game. Tennessee head coach, just

beating the dog out of Tennessee. The game where Kiffin was one of the innovators of the faken injury to stop the clock tactic. Oh, a magnificent innovator always. And then after the game refused to shake the

hand of the coach who at that point at 25 years at the same school, already a legend in an institution. And Giffin just hustled off the field, but we're not here. Here to run down, Giffin. Hire in Miami.

Hire Kiffin. Yeah, it would be great. Even though he lost 37, 14 in a bowl game to Frank Beamer. In a game where they had five rushing yards. Like, you played Virginia Tech. How many rushing yards did you get off of Bud Foster defense? Five. That's how many you got five yards off of it.

Spend them wisely. And the other thing about Frank Beamer is this, that like, as if you won't find many people who are lifers like that anymore, They'll still be around. People say, well, there'll never be another coach like that. Yeah, you'll get guys who are like that. You'll get guys who are from the school, come back to the school, coach a long time. They just won't be, it'll be in those places like Virginia Tech, which are kind of, you know, kind of cut from this extremely different cloth where they didn't have a lot of previous success.

And they're kind of a funky fit in terms of academic sometimes, you know, not that they were particularly subject to that. but you'll get that but he more than other people more than other coaches lived like live the kind of life that I think everybody wanted to believe the Virginia Tech head coach should right like if you were to find that archetype you're like okay

where's he from he's from fancy gap Virginia and grew up on a farm right okay well what else happened to him oh he was he nearly like burned to death as a kid right yeah but what's his family background this is the best part Jason because you asked that leading question where are his people

from and what did they do to a judge once well they once shot up a courthouse listen that building was used for many municipal purposes I think it's unfair to characterize it as a courthouse they once shot up an apartment of education they shot up the county men

in the days when bootlegging was still a thing in the backwoods of Virginia, right? You have a dude who, you know, like, clawed his way up from, like, the Citadel and Murray State, right, and took over a program, which was a no-hoper, like a total no-hope program. And, by the way, was bad.

Like, was his first two years... Oh, yeah, he goes two and nine and three and eight. Yeah, yeah. People will talk about, like, what Bill Snyder did at Kansas State creating that program from, like, decades of nothing. Beamer is not far off. Like, my favorite stat from

to date was out of Virginia Tech's 18 all-time AP finishes, 16 were under Beamer, and like the last one before him was decades prior. This program was nothing without him, and he gave it 29 years. And he takes over

that job in 87. You know when they go to a bowl? 93. They don't go to a bowl game until 1993. Just be patient, Nebraska. Are you saying coaches should get more than like two years to turn these things around? Not at my program, no. But at your program, yes, you need to be reasonable.

You need to be reasonable because after that, after that, you know, like they start reeling off just 9, 8, 10, 10, 7, 9, 11, 11, 8, 10. Then, you know, like, even recently, you realize from 2004 to 2011, their double-dudget wins every year. every year that's like a Mac Brown style run and a Mac Brown style to be fair here's what I don't get though why is he leaving so close

to being able to play football game at a NASCAR track well maybe you know why I have a theory because he wants to drive a car at the NASCAR track I was going to say he wants to watch it right he's like that's too cool for me to coach it I got to go watch that from the stands.

Grand Marshal, Frank Beamer. He's also getting this, it came out that he has built into his contract. He gets a gig at the athletic department, which I assume that includes. Like, he gets to run around, run a lap around the track. Hell yes, you get to drive truck a source. It's all I've ever dreamed of. I've built this program from nothing for three decades. Truck of source.

Truck of source is the ultimate Virginia Tech quarterback because he's mobile and and he can't throw that well. Flashback to like the 1960s. There's a small child, right? Young man sitting in his bedroom, sketching on a pad. What if it were a dinosaur, but also a truck? And what if I got to drive it?

What's the most logical? I could become a football coach. And three decades later. I did it. I did it. But first, I need to make an 80s metal band. Oh, no. And have it write a song about sneaking up on children.

middle of the night. Oh, no, Truckosaurus is heading for the courthouse. Truckosaurus sports freedom. You thought we forgot. It'll run on shine. It's brilliant.