Shutdown Fullcast - Shutdown Fullcast 3.6

Episode Date: June 12, 2015

This week's Shutdown Fullcast is not only late, it's recorded on the road with relatively poor audio quality! Obviously you should listen to every terrible second of it. Topics covered: 1. Rivalries updated, i.e. can you make up a rivalry out of thin air? Should you even have rivals? Which rivalries actually matter, and which ones do people even really care about? Why are the most intense rivalries between the most similar types of people? Remember that time South Carolina and Clemson had a head-kicking brawl that cost South Carolina a bowl game? You should probably remember that more often than you do. 2. Is Les Miles sort of doomed at LSU? Beyond the usual ambient level of doom one might associate with LSU? 3. What teams are you really, really unwilling to admit you enjoy watching? And not "oh, it's a guilty pleasure!" level watching, but "oh god please don't let even my wife know I enjoy watching them" kind of shame or discomfort. Learn more about your ad choices. Visit megaphone.fm/adchoices Learn more about your ad choices. Visit podcastchoices.com/adchoices

I think we're going to open up the shutdown forecast this week by acknowledging that we are, in fact, a day late due to some logistical concerns. By logistical concerns, Ryan, we mean... Wine, sweet wine. Alcohol. Joe, as the Chinese would say. We got behind schedule because there was some social drinking. That's why.

So this is why we're a day late, but we're here at the Internet's only, college football podcast named the shutdown forecast because there's other podcasts and we like them too for instance our friends at the solid verbal yay should listen to them too dan and tie they're way better at this than we are but you're with us and stuck if they recorded a day late i think tie i think tie would like spontaneously start bleeding out of all of his orifices that's good social strap right there instagram that look at what happens when we made tie a day late. I think if they go a day late, everyone just pushes the week back a day late.

It's like, oh, I guess Monday is a bank holiday. This is Spencer Hall. I'm editorial director of SV Nation. Joining me from just across the hall through a series of Glass Pains is Ryan Nanny of SB Nation. Say hi, Ryan. Hi. I think I'm in the product room. I think this is where the people make the website.

I don't know. All right, get to it then. Yeah, they're not here, so you need to start making it. Shit. Off the hook for making the website for the date is Jason Kirk, college football editor for SB Nation, joining us from beautiful... It is Kennesaw, Georgia, correct? Yeah, yeah.

Yeah? Are you outside today? Oh, yeah, it's scalding hot. It's one of those walk back from breakfast at 9 a.m. days and take another shower days. Hmm, my favorite summer phenomenon, the shower, sweat day. I just learned what Kennesaw, what the name comes from. Go on. Comes from a Cherokee word, meaning cemetery. Yeah, yeah.

That's metal as hell. You damn right. You damn right. Also, one of the only towns in America that by code requires everybody to be a gun owner. It's true. that's not a joke that i mean i know we joke a lot on this show so it's sometimes it's hard to tell that's an old law too damn sometimes things we say people say do you guys really mean that no no no no this is this is true we can look it up we don't make anything up i'd like to open the show by

by answering a reader question from gregg wissinger at g west on twitter which is q how are things i don't know man they're pretty good i'm in washington dc this week so they can only be so good, but we're pretty good. This is the bottom of the offseason. This is the trough. We are in the great Sargasso Sea of content where what passes for news are satellite camps, Jim Harbaugh shirtless, right? There's an amazing number of people who have no idea what's going to happen

and they get older because they saw Jim Harbaugh with his shirt off and they went, oh my God, he's so out of shape. That's a 50-plus-year-old man with his shirt off. That's what you have to look forward to. Go back and watch like, a Harrison Ford action movie from, like, the early 90s. And that's what he, like, that's what action heroes used to look like. Just be like, oh, he doesn't have an obvious gut.

He's in shape. 50s fit. 50s fit. Yeah, where you just hiked your pants up to three inches below your nipples and sucked in your gut a little bit, and, ta-da, you were Superman. I got to say, he doesn't have, I really thought he would have a little more arm definition than he does. well here's the deal with harball hot yoga he came up in the era before weights that's true a lot of calisthenics i bet he's a big believer in well just three glasses of milk and a hundred push-ups a day whole milk

he has he's commented on this he has again we're not making this up yeah he's brought whole milk to staff meetings insisting that it would be really really good michigan i repeat you hired the most Michigan coach available. Good job. It happened. Jason Kirk, how are you? How are things? Things are fine.

That's what I'll go ahead and I'll just stamp a fine on it. Fine. Super hot. I mentioned that, but it bears repeating. And Ryan? You know, your comment about how this is the bottom of the offseason made me have sort of an unfortunate realization. So I don't know if you two do this, but

the off season for me when it starts I'm like okay this is when I'm going to like better myself or expand my knowledge skill set whatever I'm going to do something in the off season and this is right about the point of year where I'm like oh yeah that didn't happen and it's yeah no it's uh for me that point is like it starts like two or three weeks in it just continues I just realized like nope maybe next year I can delude myself pretty well up to Memorial Day, and then it's just like, oh, oh, wow. Well, there's, I guess I'm not reading that snack of books. Yeah, it's like I'm going to get in shape to this level.

I'm going to read this number of books, you know, and all those. Nah. Nah. I'm going to learn how to make my own pasta. Nope. Yeah, yeah. I'm going to learn how to paint. I'm going to learn a martial art.

Nope. I'm going to watch all the John Ford's films. You're barely going to keep the yard, trim. Yeah. It's like, well, I bought new shorts. Congratulations. I still haven't done that. Yeah, you're a disaster. I know. I got my new shorts. Check. Done.

Bring it on. Bring on the season. Spencer's behind. I got to be honest. I actually this week said, man, I need to buy some shorts. And the next thought in my head was this. Where do you buy shorts? You're so old. I don't. I don't. I don't know. I would have been like this at 12. Well, this is why they invented Coles, because Coles is ideal for somebody who says, where do they sell that? They have it.

Yeah, whatever it is. Whatever it is. It may not be good. It may not be something that looks that nice, but they have it. Where do I buy a Chotchke? Coles. Coals. Where do I buy Machaveli brand sweatpants?

Coles. Coals. Where do I buy an off-brand dialysis machine? Coles. What about like a Clemson Candelabra? Coals. Definitely, Coles. I bet Dabo goes to Coles all the time.

Where do I buy a double boiler? I don't even know what that is. Coles. Do you think Dabo thinks he's endorsed by Coles? It's possible. He's never signed anything. He's just, Hi, I'm Dabo Swinney, here in front of a Coles.

Sir, could you please get out of the way? Sir, I am a rewards member. a part of the Coles Club You get a free dialysis machine Which is in South Carolina That is pretty useful That's a real It's a miracle

You can run that out of your house Don't even need a license Yeah it's this is the time of year When you start to realize that you're not going to get Any of your grand goals done whatsoever Fortunately I've had children So I've replaced any ambitions with merely surviving So we're past that now

There's no aspirations Now you're like wow I cleaned up I found a two day old slice of pizza in the toy bin Awesome So you're just like Matt Damon and the Martian I am You're just charting days

You're just like I just got to make it with these kids Another 200 days Move on from there Exactly I have to get to I have to get to football season And I have to make food grow In this house of mine you know through a field that's made of nothing but Legos

that's what it's like living You make food grow in the house? Yeah, I have to make food grow in the house Somebody says, oh, what about Instacart? No, you're not playing the game. Okay, we're talking about self-sufficiency, we're going to make it happen. The topic this week that I wanted to address is

it's not often one wants to talk about Yukon football. It's not often one wants to talk about UCF football. But Bob Diaco, the second-year coach at Yukon, decided he was going to make a rivalry. What, pray tell, who would Yukon pick? If we were just going to make a rivalry and make some excitement happen, would you look at Temple? They're right down the road. Sure. Maybe a Boston college.

Sure. They're right there, too. You could choose any one of a number of Mid-Atlantic partners, geographically relevant partners, place. where fans could travel back and forth. Maybe even go with, like, a Tennessee just to add in, like, the fun basketball element of it. Sure.

Sure. You know, you could just make it a two-season rivalry. Yeah. Jason Kirk, who did they pick? Well, they went even closer. They went right around the corner to Orlando, picked up UCF. Okay.

It's really close. It's really, really. close. It's right down the eastern seaboard. You go there by a cargo ship. They have a lot of things in common, though. For instance, Hartford and Orlando are both in the United States. It's a great start. Medieval Times is a form of insurance, I believe.

Yeah, it's true. They have that in common. They are only a short 18 hours. hour and four minute drive a scenic drive at that 1,192.9 miles you do get to go to south of the border if you go that way hey they're not even they're they're in the same conference same time zone what more do you need same conference are they is that true that means they'll play often i don't think i don't think that's true i think you made that i'm pretty sure they're in the same conference i'll agree to disagree the big eastish one you know that one the uh you know that one the american the most literally there we go remember

what we said they have in common they're both in the united states why is that important they're in the american conference yeah the big easterly yeah and this is a team by the way they've played um it's a storied rivalry because they have played twice they played in 2013 and 2014 that's history so it's it's a continuing rivalry it's uninterrupted is what you're saying. Correct. It is an uninterrupted problem. They love playing each other so much they've never called this game off.

And you know what? Take that border war. Yeah. Take that Iron Bowl. How many times last two years? A&M played Texas. You call that a rivalry? 48 times in my mind, 70 in my heart.

Zero on the field. Yeah, they've never taken a break from this rivalry. It's uninterrupted. I think what we're trying to say that it's kind of dumb. It's a little dumb that you just sort of pick a rivalry out of a back. particularly when when asked about it George O'Leary

UCF's head coach knew nothing about it what like that's that was basically his reaction how does George O'Leary like embellish knowing nothing because like the man likes to stretch

a stretch a tail a little bit is it like it's not just I don't know but more like I've never even heard of Yukon no one has ever heard of Yukon or like, I invented Yukon. Connecticut left this union ten years ago. I'm not even the coach at UCF.

Oh, we have a rivalry with them? Well, we've beat them a hundred times in a row. As president of the University of Central Florida, I cannot endorse this. They even made a trophy. Well, they bought a trophy. I think the correct term is there is a trophy. We bought a zoo.

The verb I would guess would be, found discovered uncovered it does if you look at this trophy and really what better this topic to discuss on a audio podcast it has the feel of a bowling trophy that you bought at a yard sale and then you like peeled off the panels that said bowling and you put on your team logos yeah and the name they gave for this found trophy is this they called it the civil conflict John Grisham's Where the name comes from was apparently after they played last season

Diaco said something like Yeah we ought to make this a rivalry Call it the civil conflict You know because you're calling Throwing around the word civil war Talking about a North team and a South team That could get heated unless it's within the state of Oregon So it's almost like they just took his little

Like weird quote and decided you know it would be really cool if we made that tiny weird throwaway quote like a big thing like it's like if he called if he said something like call it the you know I don't know the whatever game then like would they make a trophy

the whatever game like you couldn't even get a consistent you couldn't even get like a consistently interesting quote to base this off of right like they ought to have a rivalry let's call it a rivalry then you come UCF, a rivalry.

Could have called it Husky Night. Husky. Now that's how you do this. We play for the Yukon is Better Anyway trophy. The Husky Knight, just this like portly, fat dude in a suit of armor that they play for. Spilling out of chain mail. Spilling out of chain mail. This used to fit.

20 years ago, I looked fucking awesome. Damn it. Conqueror. Just stick to the diet. I told you we shouldn't have come to the Red Fair, Diane. So the Renfair trophy between UCF and Yukon is obviously really silly. But it did make me think that we need something like a kind of a check on rivalries. Because I think the bar is too low for what we consider a rivalry.

And we never actually like revisit them or modify them or talk about whether they're actually real rivalries. And I'm not talking about your more obscure instances, which are obviously not rivalries anyone knows about. For instance, hey, did you know Boston College, Boston College and Clemson have a rivalry? And they even have a trophy, the O'Rourke McFadden Trophy, for it? No, you didn't know that because it's not a real rivalry

that anyone really sort of pays attention to or has any currency. And also, Clemson has beat them like, four out of the last five years. So it's not anything that you could actually apply any real heat to. But I kind of wanted to look around and just go, okay, well, what actually, what rivalries actually matter? Like what, which, when somebody says like an old one, I'll just throw one out there randomly,

when you say, Notre Dame USC, I don't know who really outside of a few partisans in there. That's not like a nationally super important rivalry. And for a lot of reasons, but there's just not much there in terms of... Is that a rivalry? Do they play?

Every year, I think. Yeah, they play. They tend to play every now and then. It's the We Lost to Stanford game, basically. Exactly. It's the teams that aren't Oregon coming out of the Pac-12 rivalry. That's the one that, like, I mean, yeah, that probably is the game that has the furthest disparity between what it's supposed to be, what your granddad thought.

it was and like what it currently is because like that game at his point in the season you know Notre Dame has nothing to play for and USC is maybe scrapping to win the pack 12 south there's just nothing on the line you know other than uh old people like these teams it's the perfect game for NBC to broadcast because NBC's into you know your your thrift shop kind of like standards for their rivalries right like it was big on 1954 and For just $8, you can buy it again. USC. The Glenn Miller Orchestra presents.

Notre Dame USC, live from the Coliseum. Like that's... Live? Live! Okay. Tape delayed. Tape delayed. Tuesday, primetime.

You want the UNBC. Announced by John Tesh, sponsored by the USO, welcoming our boys back from fighting far and wide for liberty. Like that... Flash. National anthem sung by Paul Reiser. What? NBC Synergy.

Oh, my three dads. Yeah, that to me doesn't really have like the kind of weight that it sort of once had. The Big Ten, like, the Big Ten does a good job in diffusing this because they have a trophy for everything. Oh, my God. Everything. So much garbage. So much garbage being passed back. and forth across state lines.

But they kind of diffuse that by like, well, you know, we got a, we got a trophy for that. One that's very near and dear to the hearts of several people involved in this podcast, Tennessee, Florida. It's not really, it's not really a rivalry anymore. It was. There was like a hot moment, but in terms of like overall rivalry heat, that's at like at best a one or two, with 10 being the Iron Bowl, right? They have, I mean, these two teams have not even played that much.

They've only played 44 times. Yeah. I mean, that's nowhere near two. We can't approach the purity of the Yukon, UCF one. I've been diluted by actually playing. Now, when is the last time that... There's not Tennessee Florida trophy, is there? No.

I'm sure there is. Not according to Wikipedia. It's not recognized, but I'm sure there's something. When is the last time the hypothetical trophy has actually changed? hands. That would be... 2004. I was at that game.

That was fun. Yeah. I mean, they haven't won in, you know, 10 years. But do you know where the first Tennessee, Florida game was played in 1916? I do not. Tampa, Florida. Which explains the cursed and devalued nature of this rivalry from the start. Why were they...

Why was anybody doing anything in Tampa like pre-penicillin? It was cheap. Playing the balls. That's what they's doing. Please say that was like some sort of malformed bowl game. That had to be. I don't know. I mean, I assume they just went there because they're like, yeah, it's 1916.

Somehow GameStop is still here in Tampa. We'll go there, get some cheap games. It's beautiful. Nintendo games of 1916. Mostly racist. Mostly racist. Man, this whole birth of a nation game is just curse. crazily racist it's hard too yeah it's hard man it's like three hours long too uh but that's one

that like like there are ones that do not like right now you don't want to like classic rivalries rivalries there are some at the moment who just hold up like Alabama Auburn doesn't really I think it was probably at its lowest point as turn a game that you would actually watch when Tuberville was just beating the dog off Alabama for like five years straight the like honk if you sacked Brody game is probably like the low point of that rivalry in terms of actually being something that, you know, the

uninterested viewer, the uninvested viewer would watch. And even the thing about that game is like how low, if it's scale a 1 to 10, how low can it really get six or seven? I mean like even if one team wins five years in a row, it's still the most important sporting event in our

what's the nicest way to say craziest? Passionate? Our most passionate state. Our most passionate state. Because when I think Alabama, I think passion. Passionate kisses. I don't know.

I just thought of it. It's very hot. Did you bring Mary Chapin Carpenter into this podcast? I couldn't not. I'm sorry. My God. But there are other ones too that I think are like, I think Oklahoma, Texas generally holds up. I know that they've had their.

foibles in recent years it helps that oklahoma texas has the decency to be like yeah it's going to be a 1230 it's not going to be great we're not going to pretend like this is a must see 7 o'clock event yeah and the thing about that game is one team always obliterates the other and it's usually the one the team that's bad that does it it's a rivalry game that delivers in terms of like perdition and pain right it's a game and texas fans leaving early right like when things go wrong and that game. It's a 40-point slide, or Chris Sims gets up, like, annihilated by Roy Williams coming over on, like, a, you know, spring-loaded, like, safety blitz in the end zone. Like, that's...

It is, it is, this game is to each of these teams season as, like, the corporate Christmas party is to your, a year at a job. So you can, like, you're Oklahoma, you've had a really good year at work, but all anybody talks about is how you pissed yourself at the Christmas party and the equivalent here is losing to Texas very badly. That's like the biggest anchor dragging down the Mac Brown era. Right. Right. Yeah.

Yeah, Mac, you know, January to November, Mac was a hell of an employee. Christmas party rolls around. You're going to see his dick. Mr. March. Mr. recruiting champion. Mr. football, Mac Brown. And those were not like, not small losses. Now, if you were looking at a rivalry where, okay, I'm going to back up.

We call it El Asico, because I am genuinely fascinated by the terribleness of Iowa and Iowa State every single year. It's really beautiful. It is, and somebody, it's not like that game always hinges on, like, some last minute horrible thing. No, it hinges on, like, abominable play after abominable play. It's early in the season, so everyone's healthy. enough to go really hard, but they're not quite experienced enough or together enough to really play coordinated football. It's passionate, which I don't think helps. I don't think that helps in terms of execution or people trying too hard. I would like to read some final

scores from this series since 1980. So these are not like old-ass football was a totally different thing. Are you ready? Okay. 10-7. 19-7. 10-3. 217, 1710, 1714, 1513, and my favorite, 9,6. Those are real scores. It's ghastly. Absolutely ghastly. Like, that's one that, like, I'm just fascinated by how much pain it inflicts on everyone, including the uninvested viewer who just stops by and goes,

ooh, four turnovers from the winning QB. Awesome. I'm totally going to go to this game one day. Absolutely. It's going to be amazing. How about this one? The Rio Grande rivalry, New Mexico, New Mexico State, which used to have a trophy, the Maloof Trophy.

If you're familiar with the name Maloof's, the incompetent owners of the Sacrients, Camano Kings who made their money from casinos and all that and tried to move the city back and forth around California. Yep, it's named after their family. Sweet. You say incompetent. They're wealthy, so I say eccentric. Excentric. Sorry, sorry. That's got to be the worst trophy I've ever heard of. I'm also, like, there are rivalries that I will ride for as being way better than you think. I don't think the Golden Boot gets enough credit.

I think Arkansas LSU, it has been lopsided because Arkansas has extreme ups and downs. Well, part of that is LSU fans are extremely snobby and refuse to admit that anyone is their rival. If you say to LSU fan, who's your rival, Arkansas? No, no, no, no, Ole Miss, no, A&M.

No, no. Gout. Gout. Gout is a rival. All is, yes, like they have an entire chant about Ole Miss, but no, not a rival. No, no, they're not. But yes, LSU, Arkansas, awesome rivalry. The Black Friday is usually when that would happen, now that's moved around.

But, you know, anything with traditions like that, you know, and memorable games and the fans clearly hate each other, yes, it's a rivalry. Also, end of the season, so you get the possibility of injury, holiday distract, and generally overlooking a mediocre opponent all combined into one unpredictable body. Remember that this is a game where Arkansas has leapt up from nowhere and sank its fangs, its tusks deep into the juggler of LSU out of nowhere. That's happened a couple of times. It is shocking. This is the team that, like, beat them with Casey Dick, if you'll remember, at QB.

I believe that happened one year. LSU was in a pretty good spot at the end of the year and did not ruin their season because, of course, LSU seasons are not ruined. They're just a little overcooked. And, well, speaking of SEC rivalries, here's a little quiz. Which rivalry Wikipedia page

does the following sentence come from? Okay. The rivalry is the most evenly matched in the SEC with the series officially tied at 2121. Now, I am not looking. I am just going to go ahead and guess that that comes from a description of Kentucky Vanderbilt. Very close. This is Kentucky, Mississippi State, which is, of course, the throwaway cross-division game between the two leftover schools

after everybody else more or less made sense with their cross-division rivals. Yeah, like that South Carolina A&M rivalry is like... That's just the new guy. Ice Bowl. Yeah, it's just the new guys' bowl. Like, oh, you were in the ACC for a long time, and you were in the Big 12, and I don't know, you both like farm animals. Okay. Yeah. Go ahead. I mean, Syracuse apparently has a rivalry with West Virginia. Do tell? I guess that's the thing. I mean, not anymore, because they're not going to play. And I can't imagine that either one of those teams is clamorous. Because Syracuse, West Virginia is the one rare instance where neither team is excited to go to the other. Like, if you live in Morgantown, you're not like, oh, yeah, we're going to Syracuse.

And if you live in Syracuse, you're not like, oh, yeah, we're going to Morgantown. Yeah, I feel like both ways, it's like... It's a prison transfer. Like, if you're a West Virginia fan, like, oh, yeah, let's get up and go to Syracuse. A town of about the same size. Doesn't have any hills left to change our tires and our shoes. Probably can't hunt. Now, there are, West Virginia has a couple of rivalries of varying quality that are sort of on hiatus.

There's the West Virginia Penn State series, which if you look, it wasn't really that exciting a rivalry, because it usually just ended with Penn State, like, cleaning the floor with West Virginia. then there's the one that I actually want. And I will show you now as an example of how to completely botch a rivalry is Virginia Tech and West Virginia. The Black Diamond Trophy. The Black Diamond Trophy, right? It's about skiing or paintball, one of the two.

You know what? Best part? It's about all of it. It's meant to symbolize coal, but it just keeps going, right? And that also Black Diamond could be about amphetamines. Or snakes. Yeah, or snakes. It's everything.

We've got all kinds of stuff. But that is, that's a rivalry that they have screwed up because they did not play it enough. It's pretty even. West Virginia leads like historically 28, 22, and 1, right? They played 51 times. That qualifies to me as a pretty good rivalry. And they're going to play it again. And guess where they're going to play it?

I don't know. I'm afraid to ask. They're playing at the Redskins Day or something dumb like that? They're playing at goddamn FedEx Field and Landover, Maryland. I'm sorry for saying the name of that football team. It's all right. We'll edit it out in post. Thank you.

Yeah. But then they are doing a home-and-home after that. They are. In 2021, in 2022. In 2021 and 2022. Frank Beamer will still be there. Yeah. You're going to have to prime out with the chisel.

How many coaches will WVU go through in that time? with Frank still on the throne in Blacksbury. Like, four? I'm gonna, my realistic answer? Like, no lie? That's three. They're gonna go through three. That's probably plausible.

Sounds right. Three and a half is the tough over under there. Yeah, I think you get the half when like the interim gets the coach fired. Yeah, could we count like, I mean, some interims count for more than a half, right? Like if it was Joe Kines, I know he's retired, but if you get Joe Kines,

I'm giving you a 0.75 for an intro. room there he's like 0.75 of an interim coach yeah we're gonna we're gonna be hard on you west if it's john l smith that's point two five that's under it's not even a whole coach name half a coach but yeah there you go playing a fantastic rivalry and two absolutely incredible game environments and taking it to where football hope and dreams go to die FedEx field but first they get sued but first they get first the lawsuit but first they get sued and everyone gets lukewarm Johnny Rockets lunchboxes. I have found what I think is the cuddlyest rivalry out there.

That would be a little something called the textile bowl. That's Clemson, NC State. Yeah, and per the Wikipedia description for this, let's see, the rivalry is usually considered good nature due to how similar the two universities are in terms of mission, academics, and fans. In the days and weeks leading up to the game each year, both universities host special programs and events promoting each other's textile programs. It's, oh man, I just heard, like, chickens clucking and cows mooing, that whole description.

This is, this is like a Judy Garland musical of a bowl game. Now, they're waving banners made of different textiles and. welcome clebson you are our friends like i think like and i know like there are some rivalries that for me that the record doesn't really matter throw the record out i where i actually believe that like there's one or two of them where i i buy that like clemson south carolina i don't think that's ever like the most violent rivalries are often between two groups of people who are basically the same people and will swear to you up and down that they are not absolutely yeah there are some where there

are clear differences, culturally, demographically, whatever, but I totally agree. The very best ones are where they don't even have to cross those boundaries. There's no translation whatsoever. The expletives, they launch at each other. They know immediately what they mean. You're referring to a bum fight. That's what a bum fight is. I'm not the bum? No! He's the bum! And they're both, obviously. They're both the bum and bum fights. We're all bums. But like South Carolina, Clemson, I don't really care what the record is there because I know that these two extremely similar groups of people will be at each other's throats. And we have the real live and precedented possibility of an on-field brawl. On field in the stands, outside the stands.

My favorite thing about this rivalry is they also have a blood drive competition that, like, and they market it, like, brilliantly? like who's gonna spill the most blood like they they really get like how a blood competition should be termed do you think anybody on either side of that rivalry has shown up to the blood drive with just a few bags of unmarked blood and be like this counts undoubtedly this is this human blood's blood ain't it what are you a cop you said blood what is the sort of blood cop what are you a clemson fan listen blade i don't have to take this shit from you This guy here, he must be a Wofford fan. Hey, listen, I have blood, I drove here, that's a blood drive. That's what I'm told this is.

Take your college of Charles Sadass out of here. Speaking of blood, this game is also played for the Hardy's Cup, I believe it's called. Oh, that is perfect. Just speaking of body parts, splashing on the ground. Another one that really outpunches its record because it's a lopsided series with a clear historical advantage and I don't think the game itself

is what I'm talking about but the animosity and sheer vitriol surrounding the third Saturday in October between Alabama and Tennessee like they still care like Tennessee fans still care they know it's miserable but they will still make sure to tell you exactly how

awful everything is about Alabama every time they come in contact. And you get the Alabama fan who wants to tweak Auburn by saying, actually, I think Tennessee is our biggest rival. And Tennessee's like, just leave us alone. It's like the eye of Sauron

turns to look at you. No, focus on Auburn. Go look at, oh my God, go focus on the trees. No, no, look. UAB did something again. Look at them. Go stare over there, buddy. Oh, we just got the crops planted again. God damn it.

Butch Jones does look a little hot. He looks a little hobbitish. I mean, sure. I don't remember a hobbit with that particular hairstyle, but I'll go with it. I mean, he's like, is he shorter than Sabin? I mean, I know. That's not likely. They are really similar in height.

Yeah, but you got to admit that, like, kind of ear length, almost sort of jaw-length hair on most hobbits, that's basically your Tennessee and Alabama undergrad haircut, is it not? Little shaggy? Like, just church-long? Frodo's got, yeah, Frodo's definitely got Bama Banks. I guess what I'm wondering is, is Sabin a Hobbit, who is, has infiltrated Mount Doom?

Yeah, but there's more than one true ring at Bama. Know what I'm saying? Roll time. Oh, yeah. Oh, yeah. We got 28 of those. Well done. 37 rings to rule all yours, bitch. Wrote that. Finally, the one that I really do like, the only rivalry I've been to where I actually... You're talking about Navy SMU. Mm-hmm.

You read Mark. You got to get that Gantz trophy. Sorry, go ahead. My mind is a pamphlet, and you just read it. Texas and Texas A&M, because that's the only one where I thought, like, maybe things were too emotional. Because... They still are. Yeah, I've never seen two, like...

Like, I really wish they would just kiss and make out and be happy because they're really, that was emotional, like going to that last game, it sounded, it really did sound like family law. It sounded like, you know, I just, he just doesn't give me enough credit. They just don't understand what we're going through. Why'd they leave? Why he don't want me? Like, that was, that was really the reaction from a lot of A&M and Texas fans. They just, like, like, I would sit there. and like on a corner right on the A&M campus where they would just sit there and talk and it sounded like two people breaking up like like when like serious breakup like divorce break up yeah that's what it was and like neither has found a new partner no you know they've sort of found new sad pieces that they they would like the other to think are actual full pieces but no no no we know both y'all are I'm

eye and the other with both eyes, and everyone can see it. I did like that the Texas legislature attempted to pass a bill requiring Texas and Texas A&M to play each other every year. Oh, God, they're Tammy and Ron, aren't they? It died in committee. They are. They're Tammy 2 and Ron. Tammy 2 and Ron.

With Texas just sitting there in the front row with no underwear going, hey, Ron. I was going to say, that does make, that makes Texas. him, Ron, right? Yeah, because ultra-conservative, right? Nothing's changed in, like, 40 years. Like, which of these is going to be better at woodworking, Texas, San Am or Texas? Yeah, that's right. Yeah, and...

Whereas Texas is sort of, you know, you get the flusiness, probably better at drinking fruity things. Probably has slashed another woman's tires. It kind of runs like a, like, mafia, like the library mafia, which is basically what another good code name for, like, the Big 12, right? Right, like quietly controlling everyone through a series of carefully leveraged fees. Yep, that's Texas. So glad we figured that out.

Jesus. Do we have a reader question, Jason? A reader question? Yeah. You got one you want to talk about this week? Well, hang on, hang on, hang on. It got, apparently there is a big U.S. soccer thing that just happened. Mm-hmm.

So we got deluged in U.S. soccer questions, but there was one. that caught the eye. I do like the people ask those questions as if they actively don't want their question to be asked on the full cast. Well, they're just fired up. They're excited. Anybody else have one while I hunt? Yeah, I have one. This is a question from Nate Edwards at Nate G. Edwards on Twitter. Other than Florida, and I assume that is directed at Spencer and myself. Jason, of course, is a Kennesaw State fan through and through. What team do you always root for that you would never admit that you root for. And it's that last part that's tricky because, like, Baylor is a team that I pretty consistently root for, but I have no

problem admitting, like, hey, I root for Baylor. So if we're talking about a team that I consistently root for, that I would feel weird admitting that I root for, I'm probably going to say Boston College. Oh my. Yeah. It feels weird. Is that because of Adazio? It's a little bit because of Adazio and it's a little bit because Boston College used to be

a thing and it wouldn't be so bad if they were a thing again. And it's also because Boston College does a good job of like fucking things up for one or two teams a year. Sometimes one of those teams is Boston College. Still. I have a hard time admitting how hard I will sometimes pull for, God, this is like, it's kind of painful to say it, because I don't want them to, like, all right, this is a team. If I just start to paint the picture, you're going to be able to guess who this is.

Okay. They're a fan base that you really don't want their attention. Okay. Okay. So I've narrowed it down to like 30 teams. Yeah. Okay. They're in the SEC.

Okay. Okay. They are traditionally a program that considers themselves to be far more important than they actually are. Okay. And their coach is a damn lightning rod of just brohemishness and open tomfoolery. And it's Arkansas. It's like it's. Wow.

Yeah, like I really love watching that Beelamo, Arkansas team, but I don't really want Arkansas. fans to think I'm even closer on their side because that's when they stab you. And two, I'm pretty sure Bealim was going to do something dumb. I don't know what it is. But it's Arkansas. People just do dumb things there, okay? And not just Bobby Petrino. And three, I know it's not going to end well, so I don't want to get too affectionate or friendly with it.

And four, they play a style of football that I'm generally like not feeling. But I like it when they do it. So that's my... It's Arkansas. who like I like liking Arkansas feels like a mistake I mean it doesn't who's it paid off for recently who's who's the who's the Arkansas fan who's sitting prettiest is Jerry Jones because that's a weird ceiling

A&M fans got to see Texas lose so oh my god so them that's yeah that's bad what about uh now ryan do you do you have a team that you're just you're like okay i'm like seriously not like the oh guilty pleasure because guilty pleasure is kind of a like it's kind of a cowardly term because you're really just saying something that you like right but a team that you like that you're actually like genuinely conflicted about don't want to like you don't want to push it out there

Jason, can you hear me? Yeah. Oh, yeah, came. Were you asking me? No, I was asking Ryan. Oh, okay. It keeps dropping me, sorry. It's fucking bullshit.

Okay, so Ryan, is there a team that, you know, you don't want to get out there? Other than Boston College? Yeah. Because, like, I don't know if anyone's going to be like, you think about that. Jason, do you have one? Yeah, yeah. I got one that'll, uh, they'll probably upset you quite a bit.

I mean, I think Bama is awesome. Just the way they play, the level of talent they have, the massive stadium, the noise it can generate. I don't really root for them. I don't really root for anybody. You know, outside of like, I like this team this season, or I like this coach or this player or whatever. But just, like, the way Bama plays under Nick Sabin

and when they're at their best is just awesome to watch as long as they're not losing Ohio State. I got a weird one. I kind of like, in a part of my soul that I don't fully understand, I keep hoping Indiana football will be a thing. Yeah, I don't know why either. I don't know why that is, because there's plenty of evidence to the contrary. You're talking about the SEC East Champs.

SEC East Champions, Indiana Hoosiers. And I don't think I would actually like to spend a lot of time with Indiana fans. I could be wrong. but it just doesn't feel that way. So I don't know why I like secretly, whenever like Indiana is winning a game 10-7 early in the first half, there's a part of me that's like, they're going to do it. You got this shit.

Yeah, like the team that you were rationally, like, you're like, yeah, because I mean, I don't think it's an uncomfortable statement because Colorado's a very pretty place. Right. And they were very good when I was, you know, coming of age. But Colorado, you know, I'd be really happy, but I don't feel like there's no discomfort in me saying that. Like if I liked Alabama, it would be a problem because I don't really like anything they do other than kick ass, which they do a lot of, right? But when I look at like Arizona State and I'm like, man, what a reprehensible dude Todd Graham allegedly is.

And what a like loud, sunburnt fan base and what an awesome thing they are when they're good. Like, when that team is really good, they're really fun to watch. And I know that, like, it's all in service of, like, Todd Graham. So, but, you know, when they're really good, they're awesome. And then when you depend on them, they, like, you know, get blown out by UCLA at home or whatever. Well, there's, like, I think Arizona State, they have that quality. I think they can sort of co-opt Todd Graham's greasiness. Because, like, last year when they played Notre Dame and Eric Coulson through, like, 17 pick six is in the first quarter or whatever it was,

and like, hey, look, you know, Notre Dame's getting rocked by Satan in like full view of the sun. At that point, Todd Graham, you know, dressed in all black, bad guy, that was pretty awesome. There's also, I mean, assuming he makes it to through this season and the next, and into the next one at Arizona State, it will officially be the place he's been the longest. Yeah. Like he will kind of almost have that stank off of him. Then he's going to do something to just completely reverse all of this goodwill we have. And that would be, that's an NFL job. He'll have that stink off him like he should, you know what I mean?

But like, nah, no, that's his thing now. He'll be there for 47 years and they'll have statues of him. And he'll be leaving any minute. His job came open. Todd Graham died three years ago, but he's going to go for it. Classic Graham. Classic Todd Graham move. Faked his own death to accept the Chargers job.

It's amazing. Also, like Arizona State, I know, too. Like, they're actually, like, Todd Graham secretly, like, if you talk to coaches who've worked under him, he's kind of demanding and, like, not super warm and cuddly, but he lets them run whatever they want. You know, like, you forget that Malzahn, you know, worked under Graham. You forget, like, Herb Hand worked under Graham. Like, a lot of really, you know, an assistant. who are considered pretty influential now, worked under him. And they all, like, you know, they're not like, yeah, you know, he's the greatest dude.

But in terms of letting them take chances and run stuff, you know, Arizona State, they're the team that tries stuff. They're the team that does different things if you watch on the field. Now, they might be different things they took from somewhere else, but they're still doing them, you know? And they're just kind of, you know, lovably erratic down the stretch, i.e. they're a Pac-12 team. So, Jason, do you have another one? Is there anyone else that, like, besides Bama? But you're like, okay, that puts me in a bind, but I still like them. Yeah, I mean, as far as teams are, like, you know, root for it.

Like, that's going to change from year to year. There's not really feel bad about or I feel it ideologically opposed to. Can I flip this question? Is there a team either of you root against that you're kind of like, oh, this is kind of shitty of me, but it's just who I am. Georgia State. Yeah, you went. You went all the way down the ladder for that one. Okay.

Yeah, which it can go 1 and 11 just fine without anyone rooting against it. And to be fair, I've had fine times at Georgia State games. Their little Tuesday night opener, whatever it is, that tends to kick off the FBS season against some Division 19 opponent that comes down to the last play anyway. Always a good time. But, you know, just at some point, their fans got really, really, really cocky, but, like, you know, we're going to go straight to the SEC.

We're going to go straight to the NFC South. We're going to be in the Premier League in no time when they barely even had a football program, and I'm just never going to get over it. But luckily, they're barely FBS, so it's not really like, you know, I'm biased against the team that matters or anything like that. That's true. That's very big of you. Yeah, I save it all for when it doesn't count.

The team I have that I root against and probably feel worse about, it for it might be Utah like Utah didn't do anything wrong but I just I haven't watched the Utah game and found a reason to pull for them and there's almost always a pack 12 team that I would rather root for when Utah is playing so I probably am unintentionally rooting against them in almost every game they play except when they played Michigan that was fun I except when they were the only fans left in Michigan The only, yeah, when they were obviously displaying valor. That was pretty great.

And deplorable weather. The team that I root against for no particular reason, I really don't have it. I like their fans. I've been there. But man, when, like, when Virginia Tech is putting, like, a 10-9 skunk in that, like, noon spot, right? In an ACC conference game, I'm like, oh, get the fuck out of here, Frank Beamer. God, do I have to watch another game where you are just praying

for a blocked field goal that you're not even going to get because you're not even that great at special teams anymore? Yeah, it is the Jepson's Mallort of football. Yeah, I mean, and I'm conflicted because I like a lot of stuff about Virginia Tech, and I love their defense. I just hate watching them attempt to move the ball. Yeah. They don't love it either.

No, but they, yeah, I mean, like, I think they get that. If you went to a Virginia Tech fan, you're like, man, I hate watching your team. I mean, I love your stadium. I like your, your, your delicious turkey legs you sell at the concession stands. I even like your coach, you know, like from a personality and like achievement perspective. But, and I, I hate watching your team play. When the, uh, earlier this week, there was a gift going around of some robot competition and somebody made gifts of like the robots failing and like falling over. That's. Thought the same thing. When that happened, like I saw multiple Virginia Tech fans like

oh yeah this looks familiar there's there's a couple that were just lawfler oh yeah that's Logan Thomas Honda made us a Logan Thomas and it doesn't work tipping over over over

interception there that's perfect we're just in there I look to it