Shutdown Fullcast - Shutdown Fullcast 40 for 40: The 2017 Hawaii Bowl

Episode Date: December 19, 2017

By far the least college footbally of these previews, in that we spend almost the entirety of the episode discussing babies pooping in the bathtub and The Last Jedi and the weird Garfield scene in The Last Jedi. We're sorry, Hawaii Bowl. Just sort of forgot what we were doing here. Learn more about your ad choices. Visit megaphone.fm/adchoices Learn more about your ad choices. Visit podcastchoices.com/adchoices

Welcome to the Hawaii Bowl edition of the 2017 shut down four full four back full cast 40 for 40 I'm joined by Ryan Nanny only co-host I've ever known there were there were legends of a man named Spencer Hall but I've looked him up and he drowned a few weeks ago so obviously it wasn't him oh that yeah that was at the It's funny, people talk about this, and, like, they hear the name Spencer Hall, and they're like, oh, that's a man, when in reality, it was a famed circus bear in the 19th century that could, his talent was he could use a cigar cutter and cut a cigar perfectly, but then he got loose one day. And drowned. And then he drowned. The other secret is that Spencer Hall, the cigar cutting circus bear, actually a lady bear.

not many people realize that hey have you seen the new Star Wars yet I have not I don't think so because you have a very small child and I don't anticipate it I will see it for probably like a week or so well that's not so bad

okay yeah that's that's true I guess for other people who have children they're like I expect to see it never yeah that's my rough expect to see it most people with a child who who is, like, learning to walk well and all that stuff is like, yeah, I'll see it when it's on Netflix 2.0, when it's, like, on a thing that I can just hold next to my brain.

Right, right, right. Yeah, I saw it today. God, God, God! My child is, you know, she's able to, like, wipe her own ass and all that stuff, so I can do whatever I want. My child pooped in the tub last night. See? and hints

you have not seen the new Star Wars Listen To anybody listening to this Who's having a kid Or thinking about having a kid Kids are great Okay

Like I love my daughter She's very fun I'm glad I'm a father Nobody tells you Your kid is gonna fucking poop in the tub Okay And we're not talking like Oh a little

Nah man She laid down on her fucking stomach Just like was like here you go hot dogs on the fucking house so it wasn't like she's sitting there and then like all of a sudden she's got something that she's sitting on it was no hey take a look at this no it's like i was watching the world's worth plato machine the mcdonald's ice cream machine it's not broken for a lot it's just listen i knew when i knew if you live in new york you're probably going to see another human being poop but that person

you're expecting to be a drunk person in the middle of the day on the street when it's a child man anyway how was star wars was it good yeah i forgot all about it all the poop in the bath stuff but yeah it's really good um and then i i so i did the thing where like immediately after watching it i went and looked online to see what people were thinking God Jesus Christ Like There's a Star Wars Reddit

Apparently We're like What are you going to Apparently that's the least surprising thing in the world I'm sure there's like 35 Star Wars Reddit So I'm sure there's one like Just for like

Admiral Akbar's son Who was mentioned in like novel in 1992 This is a Star Wars Reddit That doesn't recognize Lando Calrissian Because we don't believe in affirmative action Okay He's not part of it also mace windew not part of it there's the alt-right star wars reddit which well actually okay

this brings me back to my original point i think that's one in the same because this one they're like you know they have all these complaints about the new movies and then you keep reading and they sort of boil down to like this new cast is really diverse they're really they're really letting women do stuff you ever notice that they're very very mad about this you ever notice how You don't notice how the people doing the stuff are women? That's wrong. Like, can you believe that the, the magical teenager who is, like, basically space Jesus isn't a man this time? It's fucked up.

Hey, wait, are you guys not confused that they understand the giant hairy thing that only communicates and streaks? No, that's sensible, okay? That's part of the lore. You know, it's messed up? A lady can understand him now. lady uses the laser sword we're being erased only men are supposed to understand the giant gorilla who can fly a spaceship um but yeah people online are really mad and i don't really understand it because i thought it was fucking awesome i thought it was like like the the last the first movie in

this trilogy it's like you know total nostalgia it's like a reboot of a new hope right so everyone had all these theories and like okay here's how they're going to make this one the new empire and like, where let's make YouTube videos. In this one, a taunton is going to crawl inside Han Solo's body. Yeah, it's that, okay, so that happens. It's super hot. If you like dead people, becoming married to Tontons. But so, like, these folks made, like, these 25-minute videos about, like,

Snoke is actually Ray, you know, or, like, Ray is Mace Window, reborn. Sure. You know, like, there's all kinds of theories. Snoke is the Borg. That's what I heard. Snoke is Neo. What? Snoke?

Yeah. But, like, yeah, this movie just kind of wipes its ass with all that. So it's great. Was Thanos in it? Yeah, Thanos shows up Garfield minus, like, the Tumblr where it's Garfield minus captions. There's like five long minutes on that. And it's really not even funny. Like, it's not played for laughs.

Right. it's not and it's not like live action or animated they're just showing you like not even like a screen grab it's just a camera on somebody's laptop it's totally it makes no sense well what it is it's when reincarnated popatine is on the millennium falcon not the falcon because there's no falcons in star wars it's the falcon even though in the new trilogy they they fuck up and they say falcon because they don't care anymore right they also call it they also call each other snakes and it's like how do you all know what snakes are come on but yeah they find the printouts from the tumbler on the falcon so they know they know all about garfield

and that's a really important lesson it's actually the last scene i like that nobody back in like the 70s nobody had the guts to tell george lucas he was pronouncing the name of a bird wrong well it had to it because like he wanted to call the bird the millennium falcon right like it there are no falcons actually they're kind of are because the team team that starts with a lead always loses. Well, God, Jesus, I didn't even make that joke. I was intentionally not going to. Yeah, it's on me.

Are there any normal animals in the Star Wars universe? And by normal, I mean, like, Earth animals. Yeah, I mean, it's always, like, fucked up bird, you know, like, bird with... It's got three legs. It's got four assholes, and it's pooping in the tub. They're always, like, versions of real animals. There are dogs in this one, but they're, like, ice dogs. Have you seen those?

Yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah. from the gray. Yeah, so then Liam Neeson, he's got, so he comes back, but not as Quagon, not as Quigon, but as his character from Taken. Yeah, they're like, we just thought no one would

notice that it's the same guy, because like he's got his his, um, he's like ponytail is on the other side of his head or whatever. Yeah. They thought no one went. He's like, Princess Leia's my daughter. Let her go. Yeah, and they're like, no, we, we explained. That was several movies ago.

He literally had three movies about Leah's dad, four, six movies about Leah's dad. Like, this, this guy over here, he still has, like, Leah's dad's head in his closet or whatever. So, like, clearly, Liam Neeson, you are not Leah's dad. Everyone knows it's actually Craig Bull. All right. This is shit. What bulls this? Hawaii Bullfrens him.

Right. I don't know why Houston. wanted to be in this bowl, but they did. Fresn State Place Houston in the Hawaii Bowl. Go see Star Wars and don't poop in the tub.