Shutdown Fullcast - Shutdown Fullcast 40 for 40: The 2017 Independence Bowl

Episode Date: December 21, 2017

Most American schools won't teach you that the American Revolution started in Shreveport when British forces started a brawl in a Logan's Roadhouse after someone talked shit about the House of Tudor. We will. Learn more about your ad choices. Visit megaphone.fm/adchoices Learn more about your ad choices. Visit podcastchoices.com/adchoices

Welcome. How was that? Does that good? Good job, Ryan. Thank you. That was a great welcome. It wasn't Jason Kirk quality, but it was good. No, I mean, Jason is going for like circus Barker wrestling announcer.

Like, he wants a sense of bravado. I just want to get, everybody knows I just want to get this shit over with. I just want to get, I just, I mean, this is the independence ball we're talking about. Well, if we're all announcers, by the way, Jason is clearly the Jim Ross. You're clearly the Joe Buck. just seconds away from hanging yourself with the microphone cord out of existential despair. Sun grows

larger. Yes, God, yes. Bottom of the 8,000th inning. Bottom of the 99th at the Sun Bowl, the Independence Bowl. Right? That's you if we're doing announcers. And me, I don't want to beat Joe Rogan. I want to beat Joe Rogan when he comes in. He's like, oh, he's heard, Mike!

Like that's it. anytime anyone gets harmed in a broadcast I burst through the door and I'm like oh he's fucked up this fight's over they're like this is an episode of Martha Stewart living sir you don't need to do that listen the Independence Bowl is the most important

bowl ever because it gave Florida State a home for their stupid fucking bull streak oh my God I forgot the one that they worked so hard to preserve so so oh it's so important all the bull streak oh the thing that where you just say like hey we we didn't we weren't as bad as

Florida yeah that cool congrats oh yeah hey guess what my paying my taxes on time streak continues this is Florida State going hey I've been sober like 800 days straight you're like yeah you robbed a convenience store today yeah And did it without drinking. Yeah, look at me.

You're making all the decisions good or bad without resorting alcohol. And I only took cigarettes. So there. We're talking about Florida men here. We got to reward the little things. Hey, you know what? Victories are incremental. You got to take them where you can get them.

Add up the inches. And eventually, you're going to win a football game or five of them. Florida, this game is, you know, prep is going to come right in the middle of early signing day and florida needs that time to infuriate its fans by not signing the people that they think they should okay like that's a valuable time florida needs to squander can't be playing a bowl game you got you got all kinds of fans who already are going to say that dan moan's failure and can't recruit and now we're going to just lose to florida state in miami and probably florida atlantic including new

lifelong, because I don't think Wayne Kiffel will live longer than 10 years head coach. You heard it here first, folks. Lane Kiffin is doomed. Be honest. Do you think Lane Kiffin is going to survive 10 more years living

in South Florida? It's only going to make him stronger, Ryan. Ryan, have you poisoned Lane Kiffin? I don't have to answer these questions. This is the Independence Bowl. He's a lawyer. You can't trick him.

he's a lawyer. That's some British King George shit. This is the bull that celebrates America's independence for reasons I am not entirely clear on. Because the revolution started in Shreveport, Louisiana. That's true. As the British were sailing their yachts up the Mississippi River, they encountered casino gambling boats. And they were like, hey, if you're going to gamble, then you got to give us all your winnings and will give you tea. right and then paul revere said one of my land double down if by sea he was a myth he wasn't real

but what happened was um daniel boone was there and said well we're gonna have an independence bowl and so as archie man archie manning was there too and he kicked king he kicked general cornwallis right in the dick and then there and then it snowed and um mississippi state was in the snow that's true And there was all this delicious Cajun butter And they were going to tax it in this barge and they dumped it in That's why it's the Bosher city ghee party Right That's why they dumped all the water

And Jackie Cheryl became ambassador to France I think that'd go real well actually I do Because he'd castrate a bull there And they would be like he's about to make a delicious dish He's going to take the bull And put it inside his sheep And then grind them up

both alive the terror makes the flesh more delicious and then he will take the entire thing and hand it to a recruit suddenly has the urge to tackle yeah i'm telling you man jack jackie sherroll did uh he'd get the world like honestly france of the world cup with jacky sherrill at the helm that's a first round they're getting out they're getting out group play easy without understanding a damn thing they'd just be like i don't know this terrifying man with a huge not a die he inspires me he always carries the knife always carries the knife such a savage american see see how classy french makes everything that's our running theme for this group of

ball games