Shutdown Fullcast - Shutdown Fullcast 40 for 40: The 2017 Military Bowl

Episode Date: December 23, 2017

RIDERS WITH SWORDS VERSUS SAILORS. You will throw a horse if you love the troops, dammit. Learn more about your ad choices. Visit megaphone.fm/adchoices Learn more about your ad choices. Visit podcastchoices.com/adchoices

Welcome to the shutdown forecast. This is for the Military Bowl in Annapolis, Maryland. Undoubtedly, the ball game that is, what's the word, when it's kind of cold and kind of humid and not quite snowing, but like it could, but you're kind of like, uncomfortable? Like, a word somewhere between moist and still sweaty, but also cold. Clammy? Yeah, but like a weather kind of. kind of clammy, right? Like, what's the meteor?

Wintery mix? Wintery mix. Clammy air. Yeah. Like, yeah. Oh, a clam front. You're talking about a clam front. A clam front.

We're generally... You just look up and see the big old, big old flock of clams. Yeah. Like, it's about 10 degrees down from what I call food poisoning weather, where everything's just at an unsafe temperature, right? Like, 58 degrees, been kind of warm, but not. Yeah. Maryland weather is what we're saying, right?

Entire state's just a mistake. Except for this bowl game, because it's for the troops. It's for the troops. Well, hold on. Is this for the troops or is this for the armed forces bowl for the troops? It's all for the troops. A solid 5% of bowl games are for the troops. See, I think the armed forces bowl is for the truth.

The military bowl is for the fighting spirit of the troops. They're different. Is that for the Trinity? Mm-hmm. Yep. So what is the other, if there are a, three balls that are for the troops. What's the other one? Bad boy mowers? Yep. Yeah. Absolutely. Actually, no, it would be the tax slayer bowl. The tax...

Yeah. Boy, yeah. It's the daddy. The tax layer ball. Because all taxation is theft. That's true. Except if it goes to military spending. Then it's patriotism. Or stadiums. Stadiums are also a Jesus-approved. Stadiums are secret military installations. Everyone knows this. it's true that's why that's why they got sharp shooters like luke banker a war memorial stadium i mean come on see it's all right there this is this entire stadium is a magnificent memorial to the troops and also has several popcorn machines a memorial to war yes which war all of it all of it all war at all times um

Enter these gates and think about war. I love that. I went to New Zealand and they have a very moving war memorial. That's one of the most gorgeous, like, things like that I've ever seen. And then you come home and they're like, here's Arkansas Stadium for the troops. Did you, so you went to New Zealand? So did you, like, astrol project yourself there? I did.

I did. We're not talking about it. I don't want to talk about this trip. His trip is why we had to do all the work for him and then just welcome him back. Like nothing happened. exactly which is why we didn't we didn't we didn't ret con this is why i'm going to do the heavy lifting care what do you need to know kurt banker's the greatest quarterback in america he happens to play for uva sure okay already already going astray but go ahead sure i mean he's the greatest because

because when he's really good he's really good and you're like man kurt bankert's amazing so that's what makes you the greatest how's this kurt bankard is the greatest quarterback in America, but he can only be that for five minutes a game. This is like jaw roll is the greatest rapper ever because of the one blood remix. Well, right, right? Like, it's the situational greatness where you only have one situation where you can be great, right? It's a lot like, it's a lot like horseradish. You don't need it most of the time, but in certain, like in one dish, it'll be really, really good.

What this, what confusing me about this bowl is it presents a military, standoff that makes no sense on the one side you have men riding horses with swords and on the other side you have men in boats and i don't know what you're supposed to do there no this works in civilization five because you can well in any civilization because you can fire bows at the boats and eventually you'll sink them but they don't have bows they have swords are they throwing their swords or are they throwing the horses at the boats no you can't do that in that game You have to download a mod Listen, listen, I've never played civilization

But if you told me that I could get a whole army To start throwing horses at boats I would absolutely play it And PJ Fleck would absolutely play it with me Are you kidding me? Throw the horse! Throw the horse! Throw the horse!

I'd take out a federal contract to make that happen, right? This is the horse cannon, fires horses. Does this actually, is this an effective way of fighting? No, but the psychological impact is amazing. We think this is the way to finally win the war in the Middle East and suppress

ISIS. We're going to throw horses at them. That's going to be $8 billion. I mean, that's pretty cheap. I mean, look at it. Look at it this way. One, we've done more expensive things with the worst results. And two, if you were in a fight and somebody

threw a horse at you, you go home. Yeah. Because if he misses, because If he misses with the first one, he's still the dude who threw a horse at you. That was a warning horse. Next is a camel. Next is an ostrich. He ain't stopping. That man threw a mow at me, and they've been extinct for 800 years.