Shutdown Fullcast - Shutdown Fullcast 40 for 40: The 2017 Music City Bowl

Episode Date: December 27, 2017

It's a bowl in Nashville and one of the teams is Northwestern. You can guess 90% of the jokes based on that limited information alone. Learn more about your ad choices. Visit megaphone.fm/adchoices Learn more about your ad choices. Visit podcastchoices.com/adchoices

Welcome to the shutdown forecast. Here we have the Music City Bowl, doing 40 for 40, loosely arranged podcasts at best because, you know, it's time to pay bowl games that are proper respect, which is we'll watch them and talk about them. Don't expect us to research them. Don't expect us to know anything innately about what this matchup is going to tell us. It's not going to tell you anything. Well, let's let's help the listener out the gate, the two teams in this, uh, Game are Kentucky and Northwestern. There.

You've probably just turned the podcast off. Oh, it's a catfight. Catfight on the river, no less. Yeah, that's a lesser known Kenny Rogers song, but a banger, all the same. Catfight on the river. Moonlight on the snow. Yeah, that's, I'm not even going to finish that because I just wrote the whole song on my head, and I will tell you, it's not real good. Not real good.

It's about Kenny Rogers' current wife fighting his other current wife. And it ends with them both stabbing each other through the side such that they bleed out. And Kenny Rogers just walking away and telling nothing to no one. Well, Kenny Rogers has always said you got no one to walk away. And if you're at the scene of a potential double murder, that's a good time to walk away. That's a great time to walk away. Yeah. And I didn't see a damn thing on the snowy banks.

of the Cumberland That doesn't really roll off the time We'll work out that What works out that The The Music City Bowl featuring Kentucky An often baffling Kentucky team This is the only bowl Kentucky goes to

Yeah Of the last this is the Of their this and their last seven bowls Five of those eight trips have been to Nashville For the Music City Bowl This is the only bowl they go to. Over how many years are we talking? That's over like 14 years.

It's a long as time. They still spread out their trips. I just, listen, if you're a Kentucky fan, you should just book now for, I don't know, three years from now, that Music City Bowl. Just lock the hotel rate in. Get a reservation at pancake pantry or whatever. Just like, go ahead. Get it set up. Get that trip ready.

Book it now. Book it cheap. you'll be ready to go. Yes, the end times will already be here. But somehow, even though society will have collapsed and gas will cost $800 a gallon, Kentucky will still be going to the Music City Bowl. That's true. You think the collapse of civilization is going to stop much in Kentucky?

Please. Please. They'll still find a way to go seven and five. And that's fine. That's fine. They went 500 in conference play. And if you look at the rest of the SEC East, that's pretty good. That's damn good.

pretty happy with that i'm proud of them yeah not like very proud no no this is this is the kind of proud you are all the time right like i'm just glad you woke up today well it's the kind of proud you are of your cousin who um keeps getting in legal scrapes you're like hey i'm proud you're not in prison this christmas it's like that's a low level a low level of pride it was like when someone asked you if you're proud of them and you hadn't really thought about it and you're like I guess so. Yeah. Yeah, no, I mean, it's that like baseline kind of pride, you know?

It's the, it's the basic bare minimum cable package pride, right? You're like, it's the kind of pride where we get, you know, basic internet. It's not super great. Yeah, I mean, Kentucky, we're dating your mom. And you're looking at us as a father figure, but we know that's not going to happen. Like, this is a six, eight months at best. So, yeah, I'm proud of you. But, like, ultimately, you need to find.

something more meaningful. Like basketball. Yeah. Speaking of a kind of condescending level of pride. Northwestern is the other team. As a Madil grad, I'm glad it's time to discuss the

podcast. As Henry John Medill himself. I don't know if that was his name, but it was now. I'm sorry. As Norbert Clifford Middell. That sounds more than it. The third.

who aside from a brief flirtation with eugenics and white supremacy was otherwise a fine member of his community founding the journalism school at the Northwestern University the Northwestern University no no the article's incorrect I can't refer to it to that that's something only a heel from Ohio would do coming down to Nashville I can't wait I'll like hear maybe the three or four Northwestern fans who attend this game

just, you know, saying, hi, you know, it's a lot better than you think here in Nashville because I can simultaneously make fun of them for that condescension. And two, I can also agree, you know, when they're like, oh, this is only sort of moderately crappy. I'll be like, ha, ha, that's right. You're right. It's Nashville.

New York Times writes one article and people think it's good. No way, man. This game's going to be broken up by like a Bachelorette Party gone rogue. Just maybe two or three of them rolling through the middle. I don't know if you're aware of this. There's a plague of Bachelorette parties. Anyone who lives in the Nashville area is already familiar with this. They're on the loose.

They're everywhere. They will be part of the halftime entertainment, whether you want them to be or not. The number one thing clogging toilets in the Nashville metropolitan area sewer system. Penis straws, just penis-shaped straws and various penis-shaped items. Yeah, because Nashville is the destination you use to lie to your family and friends as a significant other. Like, if you say, oh, the bachelor's at parties in Las Vegas or, oh, it's in New Orleans, like, everybody's like, oh, I know what that's going to be. But you say Nashville, and they're like, oh, I guess that's probably going to go to the country music hall of fame or, you know, whatever. No, no, going to get very drunk and give a stranger a hand job.

And that's fine. But, like, Nashville is trying to hide that from the world. Let's be honest about the strange hand jobs that we give because we had way too many lemon drops. I mean, look at it this way. The chief problems here are random sort of somewhat shame-inducing manual manipulations. Right. Northwestern football. Right.

As reported in multiple articles on the Bachelorette phenomenon, drunk strangers showing up at the wrong doors. Well, frankly, it's the head of the country music, right? The center of the country music universe. That's been happening for years, y'all. Yeah. Years. That's a tradition in Nashville. So ain't shit changed.

And three. How do you think Kenny Rogers got those two wives at the same damn time? Two words. George Jones. George Jones. What are a bunch of bacheloretts going to do that George Jones didn't do naked and high on methamphetamine? Okay? Answer, nothing.

And that includes clogging in a dress. Okay? And you're thinking, well, George Jones never texted pictures of his asshole. Yeah, he did. He's the one who invented that technology. Yeah, he did. He didn't even have a phone. don't ask how he did it you know and as for the third thing which would be i don't know

uh like drunkenly peddling around nashville in an unsafe vehicle aka one of those bicycle bars that seats you know 20 people who are all going like woo let that's so my chicks and i'll eat again uh drunk driving is like the sport of of nashville like pretty much every like adult member of my family i'm pretty sure has gotten a DUI and if they haven't they should have and you know why except for me because you know what i left i wasn't enlisted in the local leagues where they do that right see now see now when spencer said he hasn't gotten a DUI in Nashville that's the kind of proud we're talking about middle grads are very specific about how they state things aren't they a DUI was not

accounted for in Nashville weak writing Northwestern grad would probably be like what kind of a fool would break the law who would do that who would do such a thing who would make a mistake in life well obviously someone who did not attend Northwestern University

which I will tell you all about right now while listing the numerous ways that you have failed the journalistic code of ethics sir this is this is the pancake pantry in West End would you just please place your word just tell me what do you want a Dutch baby they're really good you should order one of those

I have copy-edited your menu for you, you churlish boar. Northwestern had a weird ass year, by the way, but that's typical. Now, of course, some of us than Northwestern grads on this podcast, the Medill alums. Hi, Jason. Present. Yes. We're doing the secret handshake. All McGill grads know how to do.

It involves accidental eye contact and then immediately, looking away. And then we go read Jonathan Franzen, what heights we could aspire to. But then after that, we consider what a weird year they had because some of those didn't have real confidence in them coming away with, I don't know, a nine and three record.

Like, I just, maybe, maybe Ryan? I don't know. What's this got to do with me? Oh, oh shit, the full cast was wrong. Oh, wow. The full cast was catastrophically wrong about some shit. It's not just that we were wrong. It's that you wanted Pat Fitzgerald fired.

I didn't say I wanted him fired. I just wish it was ever... I just wish it was ever... It's fine. Whatever. I don't care. You published Fire Pat Fitzgerald at your personal website because none of us would publish it for you.

We said that it's too hot. You can take that shit elsewhere. And you did. I won't go to Tumblr because it's misspelled. I won't go to Medium because I won't settle for less than large.