Shutdown Fullcast - Shutdown Fullcast 4.16.0

Episode Date: May 18, 2016

SHUTDOWN FULLCAST BACK. This time we continue our preview series with a random selection of schools best described as...well, very, very random indeed. Topics and teams covered: --Charlie Weis STILL GETS PAID DOLLAZ BY NOTRE DAME. He last coached for them in 2009. You can laugh about this, because the goal is to pull off a Charlie Weis as hard as you can in life and get paid too much money to do things you demonstrably cannot do. --How Oregon football 2016 is still best described as "waiting to see if Mark Helfrich can really do his job, because the Ducks are so talented it's hard to tell whether they're about to implode or not". Also remember how they lost to Utah by 42 at home this year? And hired Brady Hoke to fix their defensive problems? --A leisurely stroll through Utah football's prospects, including an appreciation of how damn long Kyle Whittingham has been in Salt Lake City, and how often he's worked out there. (Every day, and never, ever skipping bicep day.) --Kansas is still playing football! And will probably lose eleven straight games this year. :( --Minnesota is also still playing football! Big, ponderous, ice-cream fat football we think will win like, five games or so. --The internet's most extensive and thorough Notre Dame preview! Learn more about your ad choices. Visit megaphone.fm/adchoices Learn more about your ad choices. Visit podcastchoices.com/adchoices

Welcome to the shutdown fullcast. We are going to move very quickly tonight because on this, the Internet's, I don't know, fifth most popular, sixth most popular podcast, I don't have the numbers behind it, but that just feels right. We're going to discuss college football previews. Oh, yes, college football previews on May 17th, which means we don't know anything. And that's fine. That's fine.

You already knew that. And the people who are going to help me break this down, Ryan, how are we doing this this week and with what teams? This is Ryan Nanny joining us from Brooklyn. Yeah, we're continuing our ill-conceived plan wherein we took every Power 5 team, put them in random order, asked our Twitter followers to give us five random numbers, and then just did the five teams that match them. As a result, we have two more Pac-12 teams, Utah and Oregon,

and we have Notre Dame, and we have Minnesota. and we have Kansas, all of which are schools. That's definitely true. All of which are schools that have attempted to field football teams, right? Many of them, state schools, a super majority of them are state schools. Your tax dollars. Your tax dollars at work is a real strong word. Well, especially, because today is not just any day.

today is our i think this is something like our sixth annual let's find out how much notre dame is still paying charlie weiss day that number that number uh for for july 2014 through june 2015 do either of you gentlemen have a guess i'm gonna cheat i've already looked it up okay that's fine so you beat me to this will have to ask jason sight unseen so is this out of his total contract how much paid just how much he got paid for one year of not working oh so how much he made this year yes just just from just from summer 2014 to summer 2015 uh is it like four million it's it's not quite that high three million it's it's a little over two okay little over two although i'm i'm

overbidding significantly on charlie weiss well it's mostly that the money was spread out so Call me the Florida Gators, I guess. All right, that's not. That's not necessarily. We're not even close to the team that overbid for Charlie Weiss the most, sir. We were the one still paying Will Mustchamp. It's different because it makes us mad. We pay for honest fraud, not outright fraud.

I like that you guys paid him to only do half as much work, and it was still bad. I mean, yeah, did you see Auburn games? but we're not here to talk about Auburn. Never. We wouldn't dream of it. The good news. The most entertaining thing about that contract, by the way, is that Weiss earned $2 million, which is about $430,000 more than Brian Kelly earned over the same period from 2014 to 15. That contract bit redone, but I like to rub salt and wounds wherever I see the crimson flowing.

And right there, that's pretty bitter. In addition to that, by the way, I'd like to remind. everyone, the total compensation that Charlie Weiss received, I believe this was after one season, one successful season when his contract was extended, and they just jumped right into bed with him. Isn't that a visual? Since he was fired, he's earned $16,912,12,123. But they're almost done. They're almost, they have one more big payment to make. And then they will have paid him just under $19 million, and then they're free. Why not just pay it off now? Well, Jason, have you ever met someone with student loan debt? I believe so. Okay.

It's sort of like that, except you can't, because you're an institution and not a person, you can't even fake your own death and get out of it. Well, so Notre Dame can't fake its own death? I mean, they could. I mean, it's kind of a perfect circle kind of thing because when you want to fake your death is a football program, you hire Charlie Weiss. But the only way to escape from paying Charlie Weiss is

you have to hire him again. Oh, shit, that's how he did it. The perfect age 22. You know who I'm not getting in a tauntine with in a death pool, Charlie Weiss? I know how this works. They'll all put money on Charlie and be like, man, Charlie's going to die first, you know?

No. No, he's living to like 108. Or in other words, just before, just before South Carolina manages to finish paying off the contract that they signed him on in like 2020 after Mush Jam. I mean, Charlie's riding around with Elon Musk money at this point. He's done replaced all his, all his blood with magical regenerating nano-blood. He'll never die. I'll go, I'll go 3 and 13 forever.

That's a superior schematic advantage of the bloodstream. that in addition to that by the way just a reminder last time Charlie Wise coach for Notre Dame was 2009 and of course this killer contract that he's still coasting off of it was what was it like three or four games into a season

that it just appeared I'm not going to look it up no it was something like that just take my word for it it was like they were you know just a basic four and one or something. And then the money Zeppelin dropped. The money, the Notre Dame, the Notre Dame bullion Zeppelin. That and also, remember, somehow in between this, he had a stint as the head coach

of the Kansas Jayhawks, which I think, I think gets us to the team we probably want to discuss first and be real brief about it. Naturally, because these go in order of interest and tenacity. date. Yeah, which, so we're doing it in reverse order then. Yeah. And starting with Notre Dame. Oh, no, no, we're going to, yeah, no, we're going to wait on that.

I'm kidding. I'm kidding. I'm kidding. We're going to wait. We will talk about the name is last. Save it. Save it. We are going to talk about Notre Dame, but the other teams we have to discuss, let's actually

not start with Kansas. Oh, God. Yeah, let's not just kill the podcast. Let's start with one of our two big, Pac-12 teams. You want to do Utah or Oregon? Let's do Oregon. Let's just go off with a bang with big, shiny Oregon. All right.

That's a meaty topic. Anybody got anything? No? Nope. Anyway. So, yeah, let's get to that hot Kansas football action. As for Utah. So Oregon, they got Brady Hoke.

Brady Hokes back. Speaking of coaches. Dollar store Charlie Weiss. Which means. the next time we opened it up for questions, which will be September, I guess, we'll get lots of Brady Hook, Oregon questions. Oh, wait a second. So, Oregon hired Brady Hoke to be a coordinator.

He's going to last one year, and then Kansas is going to – God damn. It's just – Kansas isn't going to learn this lesson. Well, congratulations. 2017 had Kansas Jayhawks head coach Brady Hoke. We look forward to the great things you're going to do, possibly punching Bob Stoops in the head. Or – Brian Kelly takes a New York Giants job.

Brady hooked to Notre Dame. That's... Anyway, or Oregon football? Sorry, focus on Oregon. So, can I just ask the uncomfortable question? Sure. Is Mark Helfrich good at his job? No one knows.

Which part of that job? The part where he takes a successful Oregon program and continues to be successful with it. Mm-hmm. I was thinking, you know, like the offense part. Oh, oh, you wanted me. Let's go with the don't give up a four-plus touchdown lead in a bowl game part. Yeah, it's pretty bad at that part so far.

Okay. Yeah, all right. No, no, let's, before we do this, let's remember that the dispelling the myth that having anything moving forward out of a bowl is kind of, I think, illusory, right? I mean. It's not necessarily. The thing that would bother me if I were an Oregon fan would not be anything that had happened in a bowl game. Right.

Okay? Unless it was sort of emblematic of your problem in general and you didn't do anything about it. Which is to say that problem was, you're great with Vernon Adams when he was healthy and when he wasn't, oh boy. Right, yeah. So the two problems that got exposed in the ball game is you did not have a long-term plan at quarterback and your defense was very bad. Yeah. The defense has been bad, like, been porous. Only a couple of years now.

Yeah, a couple of years. So that's one thing that you go, okay, I don't think you can do that real well. I'm pretty clear on that. In addition to that, the thing that really would have worried me, like, I always think when you fall off and you fall off hard, there's one game you point to you where you go, oh, we're not what we used to be. Yeah, and I know where you're going to go ahead. Just go with it.

You're guessing that. Just do it. You're guessing the 62. to 20 loss in Eugene to the Utah Uts. It's the in Eugene part that was very galling. Yeah, and if you look at this game,

it's 6220, and that's a pretty gentle 6220 in the second and the third quarters against one of the worst defenses like in recent history in Oregon. And with a misfiring offense, Utah managed to score 49 points in two quarters

at home at Eugene like that's the loss where I go yeah I kind of sort of think Halifurich can't do his job that's just my guess I guess when you see a power or at least a recent power lose in such a way that makes you think they've swapped jerseys with the other team that's when you worry

like if you saw Bama lose you know in some weird shootout you don't worry all that much if you see Bama just get run over you worry if you see Oregon get black lasted 49 points in two quarters This is not Oregon This is Oregon like you know

This is what Oregon is supposed to do to people Yeah you lose you lose by Say it out loud It sounds so so good and bad You lose by 42 at home 42 points That's Yeah yeah

That that ain't happening That's like mooy moey bad For everything that you want As an indicator for your program And they hired Brady Hoke Right To fix that yeah yeah but by the way yeah then you then you blow 31 point lead in a bowl game so so there's that uh there's

there's positives here right like one we're always wrong like all three of us right yeah i mean sometimes we were wrong in the sense that we thought organ was going to you know transition better than we thought they would after losing marcus mariotta but yeah yeah it's okay we we can be wrong in both ways I probably picked Oregon for the playoff last year, so, yeah, I was pretty wrong there. I mean, they still have the kind of guys you point to and go, oh, they have Royce Freeman. Yeah. Uh-huh. They have Charles Nelson, right?

Yeah. They have another FCS quarterback who is tall this time, I think. Yeah, yeah. Is that Dakota Proup cop? Uh-huh. Yeah, Dakota Prookop. Which, uh, the things I can tell you about this young man could fill, uh, tweet? I mean, I think at this point I worry that Oregon football is the Casey Jones of football teams where it's like, man, they got a bag full of all kinds of stuff.

They got a hockey stick and a cross stick and a basketball and exactly what is it you do with those? Oh, I can see. You don't really have a plan. You just sort of have a lot of equipment. That's cool. Yeah, you got stuff. And by the way, this is like, if you don't think that Phil Nye's. won't fire hellfricht for going eight and four then you you are incorrect he will this is this is

not how phil knight known for the insane quota known for the i don't know how you're going to do it but that's what i want a guy who yeah wears a headset during games you don't want like one of my like one of my great distaste for the NFL is the consistent involvement of the owner as a character in things because you know unless you're jerry jones i don't care jerry jones i don't care Jerry at least is going to do something to entertain me and look, you know, like hayse, crazy somewhere. This is one of the few instances in college football where you can very clearly say, yeah, that guy. That guy's the owner, because he's been caught wearing a headset on camera. And the most he's had to say about it was that it wasn't connected.

Yeah. It's decorative. No, this is just cheap beats. Don't worry about it. yeah this chance the rap album sounds great on them just listening to my praise and worship just got that Kurt Franklin in there yeah that's

the guy who will make this decision and if it's him making the decision hey wins ain't gonna cut it especially especially when you consider their schedule which has like a lot of extremely winnable games like if I take you through it you get like UC Davis ding one you get Virginia

Virginia, Virginia, that's a two. There's no way Virginia is going to, like, know what they're doing by then. Nebraska. That's at Lincoln, but it's Nebraska. You know, I think, like, that they could probably win that game. Then Colorado, they probably don't lose a game until Washington State at Pullman. And that feels like that should be, maybe similar to last year's game, a close thing that goes to overtime or whatever. But it also is helped by the fact that you're right, it's a road game.

And if you lose to Washington State now, It's not as bad as it looked previously. I feel like the longer we go through these, by the time we get to Washington State, we'll have them at, like, 11 and 1. Okay. Every time it's like, oh, well, sure, you'll lose to Washington State. Right. Well, they've got, really, like, their toughest games are at Utah, right, at USC on the road. And then they get Stanford in Eugene.

So it's a pretty favorable schedule, especially because rival Oregon State happens to be, grandiosely in the tank and probably will be for at least another year too. I'd say you get, you beat Washington home, you win at Nebraska, you know, at Washington State could be tough. Other than that, pretty good chance a day to know, you know, if you get past those few games. But like I would understand, like, if you go eight and four at the schedule, you should probably be fired. That's, that's, that's, if Phil Knight's making the call, then yeah, that's what he's going to do.

Just because it's a sign that you're letting things slide. It doesn't mean you're terrible. It just means you're not, you're not treading water at this point. You're sinking a little bit. It just means Lane Kiffin's available. Ooh, boy. Ooh. Yeah.

You know, he's never failed in the Back 12 north. And we see what going to a different division did for him in the SEC. So let's just be fair. It's like we're moving a plant around to find where in the house it'll actually get sunlight. Where is? Like, the plant just keeps dying. Where is this Lane Kiffin best for feng shui? Evidently, under a very short shade tree in Tustolus.

I thought it was on the tarmac. I was wrong. Yeah. I thought he flourished it. I thought he flourished, you know, yeah, on the tarmac at LAX, I still want to do the plaque. The Lane Kiffin Memorial plaque that we just, you know, like, flash glue to one of the pillars at L.A.X. And don't tell anybody, like, put it real low on the pole. Or like we make it a thing to go there and look fired, call it like giffening.

No, you're so much wealthier than any of us. That's the best part of the joke. So is Mark Elfrich. So he's Mark Alphrich. Yeah, we can say anything we want about him, right? He's richer than we are. That's true. Mark, you're totally going to be fired and you're failing right now.

And, God, you're worth so much more money than any of us. Next. Utah. Let's talk about Utah. Turn up for Utah. no you're the first person to use the phrase you turn up in Utah yeah in the same sentence mm-hmm no no no no no no that's not true kidnapped woman turns up in Utah yeah yeah I was trying to think of something that a Utahan would turn the volume up one on and I

could not think of one but yeah yeah you got it just you know what and and if Utah football isn't the Unbreakable Kimmy Schmidt of football teams. Kyle Weddingham certainly is. Yeah, like, how long has Kyle Whittingham had that job? He has been there since 2005. There are only three coaches that have been in there, that have been at their current position longer than Kyle Winningham. He is by Pac 12, in Pac 12 years, Kyle Whittingham is, is basically Bill Snyder.

Yeah. Yeah. He's the dawn. I'm pretty sure most... I'm pretty sure most Pac-12 teams have had coming up on three coaches since, in the time that he's been in Utah. UCLA for sure has.

That doesn't even count all the time Sonny Dykes has left Cal and come back. He just loves him too much. Cal's probably had about 11 coaches if you really break it down. Washington States had three. Yeah, it's... Who.

Man, Washington State had a three. Oh, my God. They did. We're not going to, we'll get to the Washington State preview, or maybe we won't. And if, I mean, Wolfpack! I mean, if you really want to be dark about it, Tyrone Willingham started at Washington the same year that Kyle Weddingham started at Utah. So. Ooh.

Yeah. Goodness. That's how long ago it is, though. That's how distant it is that his tenure began. You know, it's a state that builds the planes that carry thousands of people through the air every single day in the United States. And it's also the state that at one point hired Tyrone Willingham and Paul Wolfe to be the football coaches of their flagship institutions football teams. Was last year the Utah year that was supposed to be the producers where the Utah athletic department basically did nothing to retain. Utah's staff after a, I would say, reasonably successful, 2014, where they went nine and four.

And I don't know, it just had this feeling like, okay, yeah, we'll give you another year, and you're going to fall flat on your face, and then we can kick you out the door, and nobody will be mad. But then he beat Michigan and Oregon, and those are the only two that really mattered that much, But, and BYU in a bowl game. And now he's fine? I don't know. Is Kyle Whittingham fine?

Nothing makes sense. Yeah, it was a couple weeks after the coaching carousel two years ago that, you know, the rumors were Utah might fire Kyle Wittingham. Like, I think even the rumors had a question mark on it. It was like, even if a top source comes and tells you that still doesn't make any sense. And then he went and, you know, at one point it was ranked in the top five last year. And, uh, yeah, now, now dad's, dad's fine again. Dad's never leaving us. Buff, buff, dad.

Buff dad has all his hair and strong core. Yeah, no. And a good job. Kyle Whittingham is the dad who takes a shirt off at the pool and turns some heads, you know? I mean, like, it is pretty Utah to be stuck in a marriage that you're not sure if it makes you happy. but, well, we'll just stick it out. I got a gym membership. That's calling him.

I don't know, man. See how it works. He's not actively awful. Marriage. There you have it. Yeah. But this year, this year, they kind of have a similar thing to Oregon going, don't they?

In terms of what they should do with this schedule? This is a very, this is a highly drinkable schedule. If we were describing it as a beer. They caught Michigan in the two right years to do it. They did. And in addition to that, they also pick up BYU in a year where they've got some regime change going on. You know, they're out of conference games. They're southern Utah and San Jose State.

That's some Florida-ass scheduling right there. No, because they're playing a team in their state. Oh, that's true. That's true. Fight me, Miami. In addition to that, they're road. Please don't. No, not in the face.

and then their road games like they really only have one one or two super tough road games because otherwise we talk about the confusing ass road game yes please go ahead they're playing at San Jose State the third week of this season

I mean don't you want to go to San Jose don't you want to see San Jose sometimes I don't understand this decision at all this is like Baylor didn't Baylor play at Buffalo Baylor played a Buffalo LSU played at Syracuse, nothing makes sense. It's wonderful. Yeah, I mean, right now there are dozens of Florida State fans. They can feel it crying out

that they need to just tell someone that Miami plays at App State. Because this is, I swear that's going on FSU's like official schedule poster this year. By the way, Miami's playing at App State. Losers. This is a good bud. You just did. I forgot. I had completely forgotten that until you mentioned it. My God. But other than that, their road games are at Cal, at Oregon State, at UCLA, which UCLA is a fine team, but the Rose Bowl scares no one, I'm sorry, at Arizona State, and at Colorado. Yeah, so really, like, at Arizona State, that's pretty much it. Yeah.

Oh, I thought you were circling at UCLA. No, no, I'm not circled at UCLA because. There's just nothing about playing UCLA on the road that strikes you as worse than playing them at home. you have to sit in a plane for a while you do and if you're looking for your parents uh in the back rows of the rose bowl they're super far away so that's uncomfortable yeah you probably not that far i was going to say you can see them you can still see them you'll be able to identify them individually out of the stands i guess i feel like the whole pack 12 this year every schedule looks pretty manageable because no single team really jumps out as uh you know as an overwhelming favorite you know

Like a lot of people think, it might be the power conference with the least consensus on who's going to win it, I guess. Well, and there's also, I mean, the overall, unless I'm forgetting something major, there's not a ton of great non-conference games for them this year. Which is handy, because last year it did not go well. Well, there's that. I think bumping down the difficulty a little bit, yes, we know Utah beat Michigan and all that. dialing it down a little bit is a pretty good idea this year. Just lay low.

Lay low and let everybody else do some damage to themselves. And then there's USC playing Alabama and Notre Dame. Always showing off. With a first year coach. Enjoy that. Utah, by the way, it's going to look a lot like every other Utah team. You're like, well, lost a running back. Probably got a pretty good running back.

We're going to use them a lot. Our quarterback, yeah, we'll have one. They will definitely have one of those. Someone will play that position. I did, I should, before somebody yells at me, I did forget that USC plays Alabama this year and Colorado plays Michigan, so, uh, cool. Please continue talking about the Utah roster intelligently

and with names that we know. Names, such as the many Pacific Islander names, that always, always, uh, uh, flourish throughout the Utah front seven. Alex Smith? Yes, him. Uh, let me give you my, the, the, the best name from that, actually, two of them. Curtis Talfa and David Lafata Saga. Great.

Yeah, both, by the way, of course, defenders. It just sound like defenders. Oh, uh, uh, there's also a Latululee, isn't there? Yeah, I believe there's, I think by law, there's always a lottolelele. a lot to lelele it's his first name is lowell which is amazing poetry that i hope to be able to conquer like by mid-november that's going to destroy an announcer and i love can we get verne lundquist to call like a utah hawaii game ha ha ha ha ha slo lo lo lo lo to leh um actually he'll he will be very deliberate he would go on the tackle is loll lo to le le le le le le le le le le le le le le le leh le

Lo-Tul-Lay-Lay. And then the background, Gary going, Lo-T-L-Tul-L-Lay-L-L-Lay. Gary would say it right, but he'd have the accent on the wrong syllable. Lo-Tul-Lay. Lo-Tulay. I think he would say in such a way that would make you think he disapproves of Lowell. Like, he thinks Lowell's doing a really bad job,

even though he's just saying his name. Latulay. He says that Lowell looks off like, what? What did I do? There is, I do think. I will say, I will admit it. I think Utah is a disrespected team, and I think

there's one thing they can do that would instantly change at least my knee-jerk assumptions about who they are and what they can do. And that thing is convince Steve Smith to retire and come coach wide receivers for them.

Okay. I would be, I would immediately be like, oh, they got Steve Smith on the sideline? Yeah, they'll fuck you up. Yeah, that's a tough team. Whole team. Oh, oh, you think Utah's too small? Yeah, they got Steve Smith, man. That don't matter. Steve Smith's wide receivers coach would be fascinating

because I think he would actually be pretty good at it. Sure. And two, suddenly their wide receivers would start throwing the hardest haymakers in college football. Like your wide receivers are either injured or penalized or awesome. No central ground between those three things. Never forget that Steve Smith and Chad Ocho Sink. Johnson played at the same community college.

That community college was awesome. Community college is the best. A phenomenal community college. That and if you'll remember the celebration, this is the Oregon State Hushman Zada Johnson Celebration, which is one of the greatest bowl celebrations ever, was in a bowl game where Notre Dame was being torched by an Oregon state team.

One of my favorite class victories ever that Notre Dame got pasted by Orican State. The proletariat sings. Do we want to do Notre Dame next or? No, no, no. We're going to say this last. Not quite yet.

Okay. So now your choices are Kansas or Minnesota. I thought we already did Kansas. We really didn't. Hang out. Hang out. We got to pick win totals for Oregon and Utah. Oh, okay.

We set Oregon's success bar at 9 and 3, I think. Yeah. Do we think they'll hit that? I could do that. I think they're good. I think they'll hit it. I think they'll hit it and cause all sorts of hot seat anguish in the process. Because it's still extremely minimal success bar.

Yeah. In Utah, eight and four, perhaps? They always feel like eight and four to me, man. But it'll be a good eight and four. A gutsy eight and four with a confusing loss to Colorado in there. They're really filling eight and four. That's really, you know what? When you're looking at projections, Colorado is actually the most powerful team in the Pact 12 in terms of forecasting,

because if they're not bad, then there are problems, right? Yeah. I mean, if Colorado fucks around and goes 8 and 4, that means everybody's going 8 and 4. But, look, Utah is already capable of being three different teams in a season. The same team that went on the road, as we've said, Oregon fans aren't listening anymore, so it doesn't matter. so we can remind you that they beat Oregon by scoring 62 points. Lost the UCLA at home, 17 to 9. Same team.

Did those things, both of them. Yep, yep. You can't explain that. Let's talk about Kansas. Oh, I'm sorry. I'm not for sure we distract you. Let me give you the headline from Bill C's piece. Kansas will definitely win a game.

Oh, shit. In 2016. Definitely. He didn't say definitely. Where'd that come from? He'll definitely win a game. He didn't say that. But he said,

he said that they would probably win a game. So that's, that's good? Yeah. Yeah. Last year's headline was Kansas will get exercise and fresh air, I believe. So things are really looking up. Hey, um,

Do you want to know something fun? Sure. Kansas scored more touchdowns than Vanderbilt and Missouri last year. Okay, bye. Hmm. Hmm. I guess, well. Missouri, you only scored 16 touchdowns all year.

You stupid assholes. And you scored four of him in your first game against southeastern Missouri State. Yeah, you ate all your snacks first. Oh, you dummy. Kansas upward Missouri. Oh, boy. You literally ate everything in bags. That's all you did.

You went shopping, and then he ate everything that was in a bag or a ready-made package. You fools. That's why I wish the border war was still on, just to see last year's Kansas, Missouri game. Also, the first header, by the way, the first header of Bill's Kansas preview for this year is, one, a new low. Yeah. Because for the past, what, five, six years, we've kept thinking, surely Kansas can't get worse. And now they can't.

And now, finally, they can't. Now it's true. Unless they somehow lose a game and get sanctioned for it. Now it would require losing to Rhode Island. And Rhode Island is actually a bad FCS team. Yeah. Yeah. And can I tell you, though, like this is, you go, okay, well, Kansas is going to be

bad and you just want some you just want some competition right that's what you want they've got they've like their burned out roster is slowly healing yeah they will have more than 32 college scholarship players or whatever it was so that'll be good

so they remember that's that's what charlie Weiss leaves you with another legacy of the Charlie Weiss era he stole all your copper he stole all of your copper stripped the pipes and all of your TVs even the ones that weren't flat screens like the

old like big tube TV he stole your TV made of copper why did you have that thank you thank you charlie wise provisions provisions and lamp purchasing expert uh this is what they this is what kansas has to face by the way and it's real hard to find a win this schedule is disgusting it's so bad because they start with rhode island yeah and then i don't see a win i do not Yeah. Maybe Iowa State. Maybe. You got Ohio at home, you got Iowa State at home.

Ohio's decent. Iowa State always likes to fight. Yeah, Iowa State is, I'm willing to call them a question mark at this point. Yeah, they like to fight. You got Texas at home, and Texas has shown a capability of losing dumb games on the road. Texas can do anything. The other thing that is awesome here is they only have one buy week because the Big 12 bunch is it's it likes to have a few games that matter on that December uh yeah this that that

weekend in December so yeah Kansas gets its entire conference slate all in a row it's bad and they all and they have like no back-to-back home games in this stretch until they get to the end of the season like by the time they get to that Oklahoma game right before uh Halloween they will have already played Texas Tech, TCU, Baylor, and Oklahoma State in a row. I think that game might not even air on television. It could be so bloody and brutal. If you play Rhode Island in week one, let's say you win that. Let's just hypothetical flight of fancy say Kansas wins that game.

Bill never lies. Then you're just looking at 11 straight losses, and maybe you're so sad. Maybe you like luck up. and sneak away with one over Ohio. That's as good as it gets right now. Maybe you beat Ohio. Like, how the hell do you, like, I've asked coaches this before,

but when you go, you know, like, it's going to be bad, y'all. Like, how do you pitch that, you know? And it's a really, like, I've never really gotten a great answer. Coaches always have an answer that sounds like it makes sense, right? You're like, well, we're just, you know, all we're doing is we're teaching maturity,

and you just go in there, we're just going to have a good time. It's not, I mean, yeah, you said that out loud. Listen. Those are words. These are building black ears, and that's fine. And you know what they're building for? That 2023,

2024, home and home with Illinois. Ooh. Yeah. I remind you that Kansas went to an orange bowl under Barkman, Geno. I don't want to be, I don't want to be dark. Some of our podcast listeners will be dead by 2023 and 2024. And while that's sad for a number of reasons, you're not. I'm not going to have to watch Kansas, Illinois.

We're just playing numbers, y'all. Yeah. We'll miss it. It's not arc at all. I mean, you're looking for positives here. Like, man, hopefully, hopefully I'll be gone by then. I don't want to watch that. That'd be awesome.

All right. Can we move on to Minnesota, please? Yeah, speaking of the sweet embrace, the sweet embrace of icy death itself. And also, speaking of, uh, go ahead and finish that word. Minnesota football. Yeah.

Yes. Yeah. Speaking of coaches and expectations, this is a team where the head coach has Tracy Clay's, who was a former frequent interim and is now the full-time head coach. Someone asked him, you know, what are you expecting this year or whatever? And he said, oh, probably like 8 to 10 wins. So he sort of set a number for himself. Just really called his shot and, okay, let's see if you can hit it.

I just thought that was interesting because usually coaches it's one game at a time or whatever. but Minnesota has set a mark for itself. They have, and they had a difficult thing happen, right, to your football program. They did. Yeah, which is your coach, just not being able to do the job for health reasons, finally. And the replays are not understanding how to end a game against Michigan. Yeah, you want to just remind everyone? No, I really don't.

Michigan fans will do it for us, and you know what, you deserve Michigan. It's cool. Minnesota fans don't want to hear about it. It got it. They got to. I mean, you lost 2926 in, fine. You can tell them. I don't care. No, let's come back to it. I'm not ready emotionally to discuss it. Okay. It was bad. It was bad. Yeah, it was bad. That's all it needs to be said. It was bad. Time management. A time management fiasco and a strategic, a series of strategic blunders so bad, like so grandiose. I mean, not Nebraska bad.

no no not Nebraska bad Hey listen you gotta score points It's the only way to manage the end of a game That's a good point If you score more points than they do you never lose right Right I mean in some sense that's that's true Yeah in something Don't do this some don't do this some sense shit with me

I used to be a lawyer I don't know what you I can't commit to anything Except student loans Oh again Just fake your own death, kids. Yeah, exactly. Faking your own death, a really underrated skill that, you know, none of the people embrace anymore.

What's more hipster and small batch than faking your own death? It's a small batch. It's literally one fake death. Limited edition, one, one. Yeah, and like most exclusive hipster invaders brands, it's kind of a fraud. Why you've got to let the government own witness security relocation? Do it yourself.

You know, you can get that fake death at any factory wholesale and just put a fancy wrapper on it. This is just chocolate we melted down and called fake death. Wow, it's like this $9 fake corpse is just the $1 one with better packaging. So, Minnesota, sorry. I think you mentioned something about chocolate in there, right? Yeah, we did. Okay, so that brings us back to Minnesota.

Dilly bars and whatever. Dillie bars and like jolly obesity. This schedule is... It's something. It exists. Bad? I mean, not like, not Kansas, unfortunate bad. No. Unpleasant bad.

Oregon State, Indiana State, Colorado State at home. No, you start, by the way, you start with four states in a row. That's just. Yeah, yeah, that's all. Oregon, Indiana, Colorado, and Pennsylvania State. You can go three and one through there. You ought to. You better.

Not going to go three and one. Yeah, in the next one. Not going to do that. well yeah then then the real stuff starts with Penn State Penn State Iowa at Maryland Maryland could be uh quite a bit improved I think you're not great or anything but but not not a not a chalk it up as W

right right uh Rutgers at home sure W Purdue at home W I see I see five or six wins I don't know how you get to eight though yeah you gotta flip some stuff that you're not supposed to flip it is it is partially dependent on Some of these schools having bad ears, Northwestern having a swoon year, maybe Wisconsin, having a stupid year. Some of these things are possible. Will all of them happen? I don't know.

And you're, as I was reminded, again, by Michigan fans, the hopes of Minnesota football rest with very tall, very throwy quarterback Mitch Leidner. Do you want to know? First rounder on Todd McShay's early draft board. Yeah. What? Yeah, look it up. Yeah, that's the part they wanted to talk about. Good God, Todd McShay.

Hey, let's play a fun game. How many games last year did Mitch Leidner throw for, I don't know, let's say three touchdowns? None. Okay. How many games last year did he throw for, I don't know, 350 yards? There are other things that go into being quarterback. That's his height. Where did he rank in passer rating among all quarterbacks?

Is it like 70s? Among all quarterbacks? I'm looking as we speak, 87th. Eighty-seventh. Eighth spots behind Christian Hackenberg. 12 spots behind Joel Stave Oh, this is, let's see

What round was Joel Stave picked in? Second round A whopping 21 spots behind Tommy Armstrong, Jr. Oh boy, yeah, it's... Wow, so you're just going straight for the comparing him to Big Ten quarterbacks.

But, but ahead of Treyon Harris. That's, thank you. Thank you. We were talking about quarterbacks, though. So that's kind of an unfair comparison. Hey, just because he's not now, doesn't mean he wasn't then. The same goes for Joel Stave. I go by what's in the heart, not with the feet show.

And what his heart said, well, actually, what his heart said was quarterback, and what his feet said was, you know, kind of a ninth string wide receiver. The Bible is full of those who started in one position and were called to a different one. Is it? For various reasons. God called them multiple names. Triad Harris is Florida's version of the Apostle Paul. Yeah, this feels like a five-win team.

Like, if I was looking at it, it's like five or six wins. Well, and the problem is it's going to start. It could, I don't necessarily think they're going to meet Penn State on the road, but let's say they do, and they start four or no. Oh, man, it's going to be, it's going to be unfortunate when everybody's like, Like, uh-oh, here comes Minnesota, big boys in the Big Ten, ready to reclaim past glory. Oh, shit, we lost two Maryland. Extremely past glories.

I mean, I don't think Iowa at home is all that brutal of a game. Right. Already the Iowa disrespect starts. I know, man. If my close friend Adam Jacoby were here, he would take issue, sir. You're talking about formerly undefeated. aren't we all Rose bowl participant, Iowa

speak for yourself That's true I only made it about two days I was going to say Born with a couple of L's of the record man The Yeah I mean the schedule's not brutal

But I agree I was thinking six or seven wins But since you said five I'm going to go towards six Okay It's going to turn on some It's going to turn on some unfortunate games Like, we'll probably look back at, I don't know, maybe that game in Champaign, be like, oh, that's where they could have got bowl eligible.

Shit. Or, oh, that's where they did. Good job, guys. Oh, man. We're going to get Tracy Glaze versus Lovy Smith clock management, and it'll be like 16 to 15 or something. And who's going to call the most amazing timeout? Why is the halftime show Rex Grossman singing feeling on your booty? Why would it not be?

I was going to say, man, what else does Rex, like, want to do with his life? He's done it all. That's true. He might as well do that. By the way, I think I'm ready to talk about the end of the Michigan- Minnesota game. Because, all right, listen, first year coaches, you can make a lot of mistakes in terms of your time management and your management. Les Miles did this, very famously, repeatedly even, okay? Not exactly the fastest moving team, Minnesota, okay?

Not a hurry up, definitely not anything that you would say was any kind of, you know, grand, speedy kind of coterie players. Nope, nope, not that at all. However, when they were trailing 29, 26, Minnesota is the 26 here, okay, and they had the ball and first in goal on like the one. I mean, you can start this way back before them if you want, but please, go ahead. Yeah, no, no, no. Let me just put it this way. They sauntered down to the end zone, okay? When they got the ball, there were almost five minutes left on the clock.

Yep. And they did what you're supposed to do. They get down there, okay? And you want, you know, ideally, I think if you would, you'd want to have first and goal with at least like, you know, 30 seconds on the clock, right? Yeah. They get first in goal with a running clock, and when they line up, there are 17 seconds on the clock, and then they get into a play and start shifting with a running clock on first and goal.

Then they pass. Then they opt to not kick the field goal to go to overtime, and they got stuffed at the one. So out of that, out of that, they run one play with 16 seconds. And that's after like multiple shifts. That's great. Yeah. I mean, because they, and on this, this drive had the makings of, oh, this is, you know, something we talk about long after the fact. They converted a third and 17 deep in their own territory.

They converted a fourth and five near midfield. Like, there were, there were moments of promise, and then it all fell apart at the end. Just all of it. Yeah. So, yeah, that's you, Minnesota. Five wins. I'm calling five. All right.

Yeah, and I mean, to be fair, we are talking about a first-time head coach who was, who took the job mid-season. Yeah. That was his, this. Surely he spent the entire off-season playing Madden to study up on those late-game situations and all that. This was his literal first game as head coach, wasn't it? Yeah. I'm not sure. It was right around there, and he came up with Jerry Kills,

so it's not like he got a lot of these late game reps before that moment. This was Tracy Glaze first game as head coach. So all said, as a Florida fan, I'll tell you, losing to Michigan by three, that's fine. That's a great score. That's not too bad. Been there? That's not too bad. Losing to Michigan by one score, you've done a good job.

No, that's the thing, Spencer. We haven't. No, no, we've been there. Stop it. It was a nail biter. How many years ago was that? It was 14 to 7, and I'm dyslexic. You want to keep the taillights in distance?

I can't read the license plate. All right. Rip the Band-Aid off, Spencer. All right, so we have to talk about, we saved it for the last. We're finally going to talk about Notre Dame.