Shutdown Fullcast - Shutdown Fullcast 4.18.0

Episode Date: June 2, 2016

SO that whole thing where Ryan assigned random numbers to teams and had readers select our previewed squads by those numbers? It flopped a handful of unsuited garbage this week, as the randomness called forth pure Lovecraftian horror. (Spoiler: Lovecraftian horror in football terms equals not one, but TWO BOTTOM-DWELLING ACC TEAMS IN ONE PREVIEW.) We'd apologize, but y'all opened this hellmouth, not us. Topics covered and cringed through include: --Syracuse, you did something good! It feels just as weird for us as it does for you. Listen as we somehow talk our way into thinking this might be a bowl team. --A devil's bargain engineered by Ryan where both Jason and ourselves choose to go on a roadtrip around America's least glamorous corridor rather than go to West Lafayette, Indiana, ever. --We could talk about Wake Forest or we could talk about how Jason is literally walking back and forth between the inside of his house and a roaring late spring thunderstorm like THAT'S SOMETHING YOU CAN DO ON A PODCAST Learn more about your ad choices. Visit megaphone.fm/adchoices Learn more about your ad choices. Visit podcastchoices.com/adchoices

And welcome to the shutdown fullcast. I am Spencer Hall, editorial director, SB Nation, and founder of Every Day Should Be Saturday.com. Joining me for what I guarantee you is the worst damn edition of this show ever. You can just turn it off. This is going to be bad. Like, it'll be so bad it might be sublime, so maybe it has some value there. But it might not. I'm just going to let you know.

It's going to be a rough ride because we have to preview some very awful team. today. So live from New York to help us do that, and not from Brooklyn, but actually in New York City, because he's in a tiny little booth trapped like a rat, like so many in that fine metropolis. Ryan Nanny.

If we make it to the 15 minute mark on this episode, I will be proud of us. Or disappointed. Or both. I think we can make fun of the city of Boston for longer than 15 minutes. I feel bad because, because it's my fault in some sense, because I propose the random selection process for our

college football preview. And that's how we got. Iowa State, Boston College, Syracuse, Wake Forest, Purdue. And if you say those names three times in a row, the world just stops, just resets, goes back to Pangia and dinosaurs are here. Yeah, this is, today we flopped the worst hand we could. Don't feel bad Boston College. Dinosaurs couldn't pass either. Just this short little arms T-Rex is all about the ground game Strong defense

Strong defense big head T-Rex was a dude He was a dude Joining us from Kennesaw Georgia College Football editor Jason Kirk Hi Jason Hey I just stepped on the dead bird With my bare feet

Because one of the Either our cat or a dog Left a dead bird just laying here on the porch And I didn't see it So there's our Iowa State review that felt pretty pretty pretty appropriate for what we're doing here but I just want to say that I I feel good about what we're going to accomplish today because we're going to get some real real bad stuff out of the way so this is this is an investment in our future together and I guess that sort of sounds like I'm selling you like a real estate university pitch or something but this is this is like we're poor and I had cancer in the first year of our marriage so we're never getting divorced we're taking out another line of it today is what we're doing we are we are putting we are putting our yes on the table and we're and we're letting god tell us tell us the rest this is and god giving us uh wait for us this is the

podcast version i'm playing blackjack and yeah we're we're a lot of threes and fours are getting thrown out to the table here but that means kings and queens are in the deck queens are coming and also you will make no money maybe maybe maybe even like a seven or in nine and the waitress is coming around with drinks it's all coming together you should should note that none of these numbers, these higher numbers, are the predicted win total for any of these teams. Oh, we won't need those numbers. No.

It's not today. We're not using anything like those numbers. I'm going to reach into this bag of eyeballs and pull the first one out, all right? Do it. I want you to pick the team that you have the most hate and feelings for. Oh, man. I know who, I think I know who it's going to. to be, but I want you to pick.

Well, I'm going to start with the one I hate the most strictly based on their fans. Okay. And then we're just going to go from there. Good. I thought, yeah, because this is actually, I can start with the negative and end with the positive because y'all, for the first time and, like, ever, the first time since, like, Jim Brown or Ernie Davis, for the first time since Donovan McNab, Syracuse football, they did a good thing. Woo!

Yeah. Yeah, Syracuse. You hired Dino Babers. He's cool. That's good. That's a great hire. And you'll be interesting. You'll be interesting.

Like, even when they were good under Paul Pascoloni, they weren't interesting. Do you know where- Not in the least? Do you know where Dino Babers grew up and played his college football? It's a weird answer. I've looked this up before. Where? Well, he grew up in California, but he played football at the University of Hawaii.

at Manoa. Yeah. So, I want you to consider the, the path in life that led you from a delighted, probably intoxicated Hawaii student in the late 70s, early 80s, to 2016 Syracuse. Yeah, that's where, he, frankly, I really, when it comes time for my children to go to university i'm going to give them the worst advice possible which is that they should go to an academically prestigious institution but what they really should do and i hope that years from now they listen to this and hold it against me and say dad that's not what you said they won't

luckily we've safeguarded this information because they have to get through the warning that we're going to be talking to college that's right they hear that nope no that you should just go to a warm weather school someplace like hawaii and just let grad school be your saving throw right like last two years in a decent test score and the saving throw to get to a professional degree. Yeah, there you go. When one of your sons ends up as Syracuse head coach, remember

that you cost it. The moral arc of the college football universe is long, but it bends towards sadness. It bends towards comedy. It bends towards Syracuse. But hey, they did you did a good thing. You hired you hired an interesting coach

and you probably Yeah, go ahead. Go ahead. No, no, no. I hear some hesitation over there. Well, it felt like a great hire. Yeah. Until recent news. Oh, yeah. Which, yeah.

Dino obviously comes from a certain coaching tree that has given him an offensive system that is effective, that could be a whole lot of fun at Syracuse. also raises some questions yeah because that was our brawls that's our brawls tree and you know they're different people but yeah yeah it raises

sort of this thing that's just sitting here and it'll be great for everyone when Baylor is able to specifically say you know the following are all the people who are involved in this thing everyone else is fine and we can say okay good good now we can enjoy Syracuse now that we know, have no reason to think Dino was involved in any of this

stuff. It'd be nice to get to that point really quickly. Yeah, it'd be nice to dispel that real fast. And frankly, it's a slightly different kind of school in a slightly different kind of environment, right? Like, this is one of those times when you say, oh, well, you know, Syracuse doesn't really value football quite as much as other schools. And now you can go, wow, this is really good. Syracuse doesn't value football as much as other schools. So they'll probably keep the kind of absolute horror that occurred at Baylor from happening because football just doesn't have that kind of license there. We won't talk about basketball.

But football just doesn't have that. So there's a positive to that. Look, Syracuse, we're saying all kinds of nice things about you. Not even barely stretching to do it. Barely, man. This doesn't require any energy at all. But just know that, like, I don't think Syracuse has to wait long to be that good because they have a pretty good quarterback.

like a good young quarterback, whose name escapes me, but they have a good young quarterback. They've got some skill. The offensive line, we were saying so many positive things. Let's just keep going. Just keep going. And usually, just keep going, right?

And Weber is also, like, in case you doubt, in his first two stops in both of those years, you know, they went like seven and eight games. It wasn't like you have to have this one year where you go like, you know, three and nine, right? That doesn't have to happen. Things get going fairly quickly under them and then double-digit wins in year two. So the past is not necessarily a predictor, but it's definitely one indicator of probable things that can happen.

You'll be pretty good in year one. And I don't see a lot on the schedule that sort of says to me that you couldn't steal some games here, particularly if you can do anything but score 60 to 70% of the points that you might think you could score in year two. If we're on the growth curve, you're kind of looking and going, I think this would be the kind of year where they could come out of it and go, seven wins. We're totally fine with that, totally happy with a lot of promise. Does this seem insane?

No, the thing all five of the schools that we're previewing this week have in common is that their non-conference scheduling is basically set up in, you know, when a school that's potentially contending for a conference title has a weak non-con like Baylor or Wisconsin some years or floor. Florida or whoever. Everybody talks about how they're just trying to escape by and trying to, you know, you got to keep that in mind if they're incontentive for a playoff spot, whatever. It's very frowned upon. But when you do the same thing, just so you can maybe get bowl eligible, when you are Syracuse and you schedule Colgate and USF and Yukon,

it's okay, right? Everybody recognizes that your goal there is much more limited and we're cool with it. Yeah, I have out of these 15. I have one going to a bowl this year at this point. And it's their cues. And, okay. I'm interested to see how, that must mean that they're winning a lot early in the season. Yeah.

The host is pretty light, you know, and you get to play two of the other teams in this episode. That's true. So, whew. They return a ton, not just one young quarterback, but two. And I think, I looked earlier and only like four or four. five or so senior starters even this year, I believe, which is how young the team was last year. So, yeah, I think things could start the click pretty quickly. I think they could, and they don't really have to. I mean, I always put on the schedule

early up, they can put four or five wins in pretty early because Colgate, USF, Yukon, Wake Forest. That's four out of the first six, right? USF could be really good, but still. That's interesting. I think that's at least three. It's in Syracuse. So the noted quiet dome advantage, the hush Q.SF, that's just going to look like the trot. You get through it. It's concrete and sad. Yeah, that sounds right.

I guess we brought our own roof, boys. Cool. Where's the bloomin onion? That and, but they do face, they do have some like guaranteed Ls on the schedule. Oh, yeah. Notre Dame. That's a loss. That's a loss.

It's an East Rutherford. It's an East Rutherford for a MetLife Stadium. Oh, my God. That, I, hmm, okay, I'm excited to see. You say that's in Giant Stadium. That's not even, like, a loss that a Dino Babers fan would like. That's, no, that's a 17 to 11 loss. I'm excited to see how much people pay for those tickets.

Because somebody is going to spend an exorbitant amount of money for good tickets to that game, and that's stupid of you, and you shouldn't do that. Yeah, don't do that. But, yeah, if you're considering spending more than five, hundred dollars a ticket to that game send me that money and i will write you a personal short story about the notre dame syracuse game before it even happens uh that and that and this you're going to get hammered to clemson you are going to get you are going to get you're probably going to get beat up it's going to be bad you're probably you know that virginia tech game i don't know

that really depends on how quickly you get it also louisville i don't know i i have no idea what louisville is You are, like, teetering on the verge of calling Syracuse a nine-win team. You realize that. Nope, nope, nope. That's what you did. You just. Nope, because I'm being real optimistic, but they still have to play Fuller State. They still have to play Clemson.

They have to play a better on-paper Virginia Tech team. And I think, you know, that combined with Louisville and USF early up, six or seven, right? I'm just saying, when we previewed all these other teams that are on Syracuse's schedule, and we got to the Syracuse game, we said, oh, that's a win. Like for Pitt. We didn't look at the Pitt schedule saying, no, we just said Pitt was going to win. Well, that's because we have extremely high confidence in Pitt, and we always have. Oh, man, this is a Pitt podcast.

This is all Pitt. All pit cast. Hail Pitt. I think six wins. I think Q's fans would be happy with that. I think they should, and that looks about right to me. A competitive, fiery, six, maybe you threaten a few of those really good teams, you know. I think six is what I'm setting.

I think that's fine. I don't. Are you saying five? No, no. I can find five for sure on here. I can find five, five definite. All right. So you're giving them Colgate, Wake Forest, Boston College.

Colgate, Wake, Boston, and. NC State, because I just don't even know what NC State is. Okay. Okay. Right. Yeah. And I think that they lift one off either Yukon or they lift one off of USF. That's fine. Yeah, I personally am not going to go above five, but if you both want to call them a six-win team, I am not going to rock this particular boat. We have drugged Syracuse fans through the Lund for too long. We can't take this away from them. I think they get better and they steal one from like pit down the road, right? Because they're going to be good once they get in rhythm. Like if they get into some kind of rhythm, but that's going to take time with real,

real live fire on the field. So I would say if they get to six wins, it's because they steal one from Pitt or they steal one from Virginia Tech because it's in Syracuse. But that's a tall order. I'll go with five. I want everyone to know that the first game of the year that we're double calling is Pitt, wait for us. Okay, good.

As everyone expected. So is that two votes for five? then? Yeah, two votes for five. Okay, I'm outvoted. Five and seven it is. Stolen from Pitt is a great name for a Lifetime Original movie. Speaking of stolen from a pit and then return to it.

Because they had expanded the pit and deepened it forever. You know where I'm going with this. Just do it, do it. Oh, boy. Oh, boy. You were talking about pulling the Band-Aid off. I wasn't ready. Dr. Dubrow, I want you to see what they made of me.

You're a monster. This is the worst episode of Bodged ever. I want to ask you a really unfortunate question. Oh, please. So Purdue has five road games this year and seven home games. If you could either go to all, if you had to either go to all five road games or five home games of your choosing, which one would you pick and i want to i want to emphasize that i said had to not get to all right had i had to go the road games you're going to maryland and illinois in october

and nebraska uh then you're going to minnesota in uh early november and then you are ending the year i believe thanksgiving saturday in bloomington indiana or or i'm Or I'm going to West Lafayette seven times. Five times. I'm only going to make you go five times. You get to pick five home games. Oh, I'm going, I'm still. But you're still, like, in terms of who you get to watch, you get to watch maybe Wisconsin, Northwestern, Penn State, Iowa, Cincinnati.

Like, those are probably the best five home games you'll get to live. Can we talk you down to three home games? No, no. This is five home five or five row. Yeah, I'm taking the room. roads for sure. Yeah, I'm taking the roads either. I'm not going to West Lafayette that many times. Okay. Okay. That's our advert for Purdue season tickets. That's what Purdue should do. Purdue should stop selling season tickets for home games and just only sell road packages.

Like it's an evacuation. Well, no, you treat it like a, um, like a three spaces left on the boat. You treat it like a travel, like a cruise. Can I, can I give you, can I give you two really unfortunate? phrasings from their football schedule, their official football schedule. Please do. Versus Nevada, or Nevada, as they say in Nevada, it's Hammerdown Cancer Day,

which if there's... Gross! That's not how you treat it! That's how they treated it for due. Hey man, listen, Big Ten academics. I'm sure they know better than I do. Man, I got... It's true. It's so hard to... It's so flipping hard to get it.

in Iowa, which has the same acceptance race as Arkansas, but never mind. Yeah, man, it's spread to my lymph nodes. Well, let me get the hammer. Hold still. Hold on. Where are your lymph nodes? Neil Armstrong got to the moon. He can hammer out cancer. Yeah, that's hammered down cancer.

That's a really unfortunate thing. Also, which team on their schedule is the one that has the kids club day? No. Yeah. No, no, no, no. on Halloween weekend? No. 102916

The Boilermaker Kids Club Day What the fuck is wrong with you? Like Like even Even Penn State fans have to admit that that is poor, poor planning, right? Or Purdue being more sinister than we could possibly imagine.

Jesus Christ. You know, maybe that's Purdue's plan. They'll just do theme games for all the home games that remind people of the darkest time in the visiting team's history. You feel like Purdue is doing this just to see if any websites are looking at their schedule so they can later apologize for it and get two headlines out of it so like people will notice Purdue. Man, listen, Purdue, what can Purdue possibly apologize for after watching their team the last few years? What? Like, what's the point? Right? It's just not happening. By the way,

Jason, are you in a monsoon? Yeah, it's raining pretty hard Oh, boy Okay, good Just making sure you weren't broadcasting from the shower Not that that wouldn't be like Super Southern hip-hop of you to be recording your vocals In the bathroom

They just didn't do it with the shower all Just like big boy Let's record all the crap Like I hope for the Wisconsin game The theme is making a murder Or Parrot Appreciation Day For Cincinnati, it's like, oh, shit, shoot a guerrilla day.

Guerrilla appreciation day. Endangered species day. Yeah, I don't know why anyone's still a Purdue fan. I don't really condone abandoning your team. There's very few instances where I've done that. This might be one where I would forgive you. Purdue has. Yeah.

Cleveland Browns, Purdue football. You're off the hook. Yeah. I mean, like my favorite was this, that Bill C last year, 2015, said, no, Purdue football is clearly improving. No, seriously. And, and then they, they, they, it didn't really show.

They beat Nebraska. They beat Nebraska who beat Michigan State. Michigan State. Who beat Ohio State. Who was the reigning national champion. Purdue, Purdue was just, A heartbeat Purdue is a heartbeat away from the presidency

That's what I'm saying Yeah Oh by the way Did I remind you Did they turn over their offensive coordinator And their defensive coordinator this year? Yes Yeah man

It's like a mattress You gotta flip it You gotta flip it Once you see all the lice and scorpions And tarantulas And octopi And all kind of creatures on there You just got to rotate it

Oh, I've got name of toes. And sleep on a different corner. Uh, yeah. And, uh, by the way, like, they gave up over 200 yards rushing a game in the big 10. And, uh, they've gone two and 22 in the big 10 under Darryl Hazel. So how much do produce season tickets cost? How much do produce tickets? I'm looking this up.

Do you have a prediction? The answer is too much. Okay. Find tickets. Holy God. All right. How much do you think Purdue season tickets cost for? We're going to say not even the best seats in the house. Just the, just the like, what is this?

This is like sideline tickets that are not, that are probably like around the 30 yard line from what I can tell. Now, is this at the school site? Yeah, this is from Purdue officially. So they're probably being a little too ambitious here. Yeah, yeah. Oh, um, hmm. $300 Yeah, you can

You can you can you can get They have two different packs One I think requires a season ticket donation So yeah between Or like a Scholarship Fund donation In total you're going to pay about 300 bucks Either way

Wow Jesus Christ Jesus Christ Jason Are you now Are you now frying Like four crimes No, no, I went inside and I just now came back outside. I'm just providing some ambience to distract with folks and what they're listening to. You can buy, you have to buy them in sets of four, but you can get them for only $100.

And I guess my question is, is this the worst way to spend $100 to get bad seats at a season of Purdue home games? Hmm, well, there's no good way. Like, I guess if you bought stock in a company that has already gone belly up, like if you can buy PetS.com, $100 worth of Pets.com stock today, maybe that's worse. But even then, that doesn't obligate you to do anything on Saturday. You still have time, so. And you could sell it for something. Because if you figure, maybe you're spending.

five hours every Saturday for seven Saturdays. That's 35 hours. Yeah, well, Big Ten Speed, so the game's only two and a half hours. And it's not on TV, so you're down to two hours. So you're spending $2.85 an hour. Then there's nobody else in the building, so you're in and out pretty quickly. I think you're down to about an hour and a half. I see, so this is like, this is like watching a bad 90s action film. Oh, by the way, I have a, oh, hey, I have breaking news from Purdue, by the way, in case you want to re-evaluate that two-and-a-half-hour mark. Yeah.

Their new dude is a former coach under Lloyd Carr. It's Terry Malone, who was the tight-ins coach. He's now offensive coordinator. Oh, yeah. He held that role under Michigan. Or in Michigan, under Lloyd Carr from 2002 and 2005. Boys, two hours, 15 minutes. This came down to 45 minutes long.

Plus, you can always make dinner plans because Purdue. doesn't have lights. Purdue set someone to the moon and won't put up fucking lights. That's why Drew Brees feels at home in the Superdome, where the lights went off during the Super Bowl

in case anyone missed it. He was playing, right? Why would he be in that game? Anyway, so Purdue, I have three, I have three and nine. And can't go much higher than that. Like the only Purdue headline I've seen all offseason is one of their best defensive

alignment is on, I believe. Cool. And they did not have many of those. I assume of the three you're giving them Eastern Kentucky, Nevada, and Illinois? I mean, even that's on the road after an under road trip. I don't know. Maybe like the grab bag of Illinois, Maryland, Indiana, Minnesota. They can cobble, they can bar, they can use like rollover points.

or something. Yeah, yeah. On the board, like, if I had to pick each game, heads up, heads down, we could only count each game once. I'd have them two in ten. But here, where we can sort of say, sure, out of this morass, they'll steal one, you know, then maybe three or four, but... No, man, I got two. That sounds fine. How piss are Ohio State, Michigan, and Michigan State that none of them get to play Purdue this season, just to have that one Purdue week? I mean, not Ohio State because you lose to Purdue sometimes. But other than that,

That's very true. You do do that, Ohio State. More often than you lose to Michigan. But other than that. And so, yeah, you're stuck competing so who can beat Wisconsin by the most. I'm fine with Jason's prediction because I don't want to talk about Purdue anymore. I'm sorry. I just don't.

Ship it. Put it down. Put it down. Change topic. New page. Yeah. You know what? Call ball.

I don't care which. Hey, it's really coming down, my name. Update. Oh, God, this is the worst episode we've done. We tried to warn them. Christ, nobody's listening at this point. Let's talk about Iowa State. Godfrey's listening.

We love you, buddy. We're talking about all his favorite teams. Iowa State, can you name their coach? because I can't. Matt Campbell. Sure. Great. Who had already gone viral in one of the worst head coach viral videos I've ever seen.

Okay. Viral by Iowa State Sanders, like 18 people laughed at it. In which he is, it's about how hard he works or something. And, like, it's him doing, like, three curls and, like, changing a tire or something, and he falls asleep. And there's, like, a terrible song. That's the impression he's left during his time. time as Iowa State head coach well that's bad yeah yeah four and eight also

four and eight there we go done no i yeah i don't really know what i don't know what you can hope for here's what you can hope for with iowa state there's a few things this is what this job is for right yep just tell me tell me when i start lying because you can either take this job do two years or three years and do a stellar job and get up to a bowl, like maybe six wins, seven wins with a favorable schedule and then bolt.

Like just leave. So it's called football's halfway house. Yeah, you've got to get. Sometimes you can actually win nothing and still get hired at Auburn. That's another thing. That happened. And then you follow that eventually, you're

at UNC. Exactly. With a national title in hand. But at least you get to play on the Longhorn Network. So there's that. The other thing about Iowa State is you get to pull off one amazing upset per half decade that people will talk about for the next four or five years. And as long as you have a lot of emotion and your players don't get in trouble, you can hang on for a few years.

Like they're paying you pretty good money compared to most jobs. in the world, so just knock off, you know, Oklahoma or Texas every, like, four or five years. Where's Paul Rhodes now? I don't even know. Oh, probably Iowa State. He's at Arkansas. He's at Arkansas. He's at Arkansas. Oh, that's a good place. He's the defensive backs coach at Arkansas. That is a passionate group of men. That is my guy. Oh, boy. They're forming an all-nude bar. Barbershop Quartet.

It's going to be great. That and this, like, you either do that or you're the one who says, no, I can make it work. I can make Iowa State this little bastion of excellence. And eventually, like, math and numbers and life. Geography. Geography. Lord of the Flies doesn't have to go that way.

We can do it. Iowa State to me is the ultimate argument, I guess. against how silly this, the layout of this sport is, where there are 65 teams that get to call themselves top level. And Iowa State... Power 5, Power 5 program Iowa State. Like, Iowa State just kept landing in the conferences that would eventually, like the various conferences

that were all disbanded for cheating and would eventually become the Big 12th. Iowa State just somehow kicked around along, somehow in each of them. like we it's like every time there's like a controversy about how many Texas schools should make it in or whatever and no one notices Iowa State sneaking in yeah I mean for the longest time it was Iowa State and Baylor right yeah just five years ago during the last realignment freak out

you know the talk was hmm Iowa State and Baylor they might be in the big east pretty soon next thing you know Iowa State's not so keep it up Iowa State Do you know how many times Iowa State has finished ranked in the final AP poll? Twice. The answer is twice. Once in 1976 and once in 2000. Yeah. You walk in thinking you're Bill Snyder and you walk out like.

Oh, no, I'm Tom Snyder. You walk out with a losing record in Farmageddon against Bill Snyder. Yeah, like, man, there's some good coaches who've got out. Like, Dan McCartney's a really good football coach. he is and uh he ended up at north texas i have one request that we do not waste our elassico preview on iowa state because i want i want that for iowa fans i want that for you iowa because it upsets them more you are you are kings of elassico los rees de lasico that we can't take away steel jance from you ever no ever no it's so look at

stays in your bloodstream. Look at this schedule, by the way. I'm just going to roll through. I'm going to... There goes Jason. God, damn. I couldn't take it in there. Jason's like a...

You're like a James Taylor song. What the fuck's going on over there? What does that mean? I don't know what that means. Just randomly starts raining. Oh, God. Oh, God. I'm going to...

I'm going to... Oh. what four and eight we're moving on four and eight not talking about the schedule oh sure sure sure sure got to give them that can barely hear spencer i had to do it again four and eight went over texas hook him next yeah next oh shit we left two acc schools we we cannot we cannot stop getting we I cannot stop flopping a five. I know. Wake Forest?

Wake Forest. Wake Forest. One of the first football games we'll see on Thursday, September 1st, hosting Tulane. Just to let everyone know what they're in for by watching this crap. Yep. man there's not a lot to say here there's just not because we managed to pull you know like as as genuinely full of despair

as Iowa State fans should be existentially I don't know what to tell you when you're a fan of like the smallest school of D1 like Wake Forest has one of the tiniest actual student bodies they have nowhere to recruit from and the only times that they've been consistently successful have been when they've just hit the longest streak of luck and good coaching and favorable schedules and an awful Florida State team like that remember in case you don't think this can be done yeah right yeah uh you can always hit Florida State at the right time and beat them like

30 to zero that can that can happen oh did are you trying to say that did happen or something uh yeah yeah that happens that's that's that's crazy. Wake Forest beat Florida State that badly. Look, Dave Closson knew that he was inheriting a rebuilding job at Wake Forest. I think they are making steps, but it is all about, it's not really about this season for Wake. It is about the future. It is about, I don't know, let's say, 2026 when, I don't know, Wake Forest has, on September

12th, the first half of a home-and-home with, I don't know, Purdue. that's real 27 Purdue Purdue Wake Forest We have 10 years to find another habitable planet Stephen Hawking is freaking out

Huh So Wake is kind of In the Syracuse shape We're really really young roster last year Also really bad roster last year And there is not a new Exciting coach

who is making things fun. What is the, oh God, this is all going wrong, loss on Wake Forest's calendar this year? Because I think they are due for, like, they've had the couple of years where they lose stupid games or they look bad and it's sort of like, yep, that's what's supposed to happen. But we are entering that phase where there will be some losses that Wake Forest fans will say, nope, that's not okay. well week one you're facing um something like the triple option okay yeah yeah so uh let me let me let me give you a similar option yeah down the no pun intended down the way here yep yep yep yep yep october 29th army homecoming homecoming against army losing losing to army on homecoming would yeah that'd be a moment that'd be You have to reconsider things, I think. And then that's, let's see, that's after you lose at Florida State,

you've gone to Duke, Indiana, and NC State. You've played that improving Syracuse at home. And you still have at Louisville and Clemson to go, among other things. Among other teams that shall not be named. Among other teams you could be. So, this is rotten. This is so bad. Just get out now.

So bad. two and ten hmm yeah I'm gonna give them you know what I yeah two and ten this is a bad this is a very bad team with it and their offensive line their offensive line

may be they might be the worst like they're eastern Michigan bad let me propose three okay I mean because if you if you take if you take Tulane and Delaware it's the kind of great inflation that's making kids soft

but go ahead. You steal one elsewhere, you're at three. Where? What are you talking about? This is like saying, look. I mean, you play Indiana. Every Indiana game is a point point. No matter the opponent or location.

Yeah, I mean. Virginia was bad and is starting over. Okay. Boston College. We got to talk about Boston College. I mean, I mean, do you. Spoiler alert, it's not good. Do you know, do you know how, how, how.

Wake Forest did last year and its three wins? Yeah, they took Virginia Tech to overtime, wasn't that last year or the year before? That was the year before. Yes, recently have taken Virginia Tech to overtime. This year, they fortunately, the last year they dodged Virginia Tech.

Last year they beat Elon handily. Then they beat Army by a field goal. And then they beat Boston College by a field goal. Literally the only points scored in the game and a debacle, which we have covered heavily elsewhere. So what you're saying is they have a very good defense against awful teams. Yeah, that's what I'm telling you. Three and nine.

If you want to give them three and nine, God bless you. I can do that again. I really did. I just, oh, boy, all right, sure. Yes. Three and nine. All right, boy, Mr. Sun, Mr. Sunshine Puffer over there. Oh, God.

Would you make your traditional, uh, chicken bet with godfrey over wake forest getting to three wins or not um well i can't see godfrey betting for a team to not hit a win total okay so if he took if he if he took four so if we're like convince godfrey to take four and eight if we're talking like wario godfrey like evil godfrey right who thinks the team is bad yeah you know maybe devil you mean devil free wad free satan free Satan free Yeah we'll do that And by the way

You need to get Bud in on that bet Because Bud is like Oh yeah Bud will hammer Because man Bud But for someone Whose program has ascended back To its standard realm

Of unearthly Performance and excellent Still bears A grudge against this program That's just disproportionate To anything human reason Would call fair Finner

Yeah So let's finish this up i'm losing the will to live good i we've we've gone way longer than i thought we would i'm so proud of you guys i'm so proud not like paul road's proud but um you guys are dudes and i don't say that like lightly we're really we're really trying to get you through this we're really earn us we're we're a group of workers workers out here boston college jesus This is not a

Put this whole team in your rear view Yeah Let me tell you This team They don't score They just I know you'll be astonished To hear that a Boston

College team coached by Steve Adazio Former Florida offensive coordinator Has trouble scoring But they do They do they have a lot of trouble scoring Boston College does not play In Chestnut Hill

until September 24th, and they don't play a conference game at home until October 7th. This is one of the strangest schedules I have seen that does not involve one of those weird, like... Wait, you scheduled who? On the road?

They start with Georgia Tech in Dublin, which will start at 7.30 in the morning on a Saturday. Thank you. ESPN2, you fucking monsters. Just to tamp down those two. Two offenses a little. Like, it doesn't have to be a day game in Ireland, you dicks. Oh, I hate this game more than anything because you're forced to get up early and it's so early in the football season that you're like, all right, I'm ready for this again.

And it's just stepdad Christmas. It's just bad stepdad Christmas is all it is. I hate it. The stadium is pretty. That's fine, yeah. Then they go two, and I really put that in heavy quotation. marks, UMass state championship.

Wait, wait, wait. Gillette Stadium. UMass. They're playing at Gillette Stadium. Yeah, yeah. Playing your state rival, rival, I just said UMass is Boston College as rival,

playing another state team in your state NFL stadium. That is some high school shit, Boston College. I mean, Patriots fans are used to watching undersized receivers who wouldn't succeed elsewhere, so. then you go to uh blacksburg to play virginia tech which i believe is the week after the hokees

will have played at bristol motor speedway and then you cut then you get finally you get to come home so you're going to go play some real like like peak level maximum redneck in your virginia tech yeah they're going to have their mountain uh their mountain meter set to stun like you're going to play a virginia tech that just lost to the only team more virginia tech than virginia tech wow this is That has layers. Then here comes Wagner. Yeah. Followed by Buffalo, followed by Clemson.

Then a by week, and then hopefully by then we won't be talking about Boston College anymore. Hopefully some more by weeks. I just think you can string together a few of those. Oh, boy. Get into this. Last year they did have a really good defense with a really good defensive coordinator, Don Brown. Just one of the country's best assistant. he's now at Michigan

Well that well yeah well and you know that offense They were six teams worse than they were in terms of scoring Well Just six so Yeah I'm this is a five win team most At most what what does So Steve Adazio's first two years in At Boston College were not terrible

Seven and six Went to bowl games that they lost Beat USC also that also that so last year it's sort of it was clear it was going to be a rebuilding year they lost a ton of stuff

and this year even they were so young last year that they were young this year I feel like that's about the fifth time I've said this this episode but yeah they're still pretty young so if they can string together five or six wins that's not discouraging for next year what but what is is there a hot seat

at Boston College is that a thing a team that I will remind you as I reminded our friends Jane Koston earlier today, was ranked number two in the nation less than 10 years ago. I think if the Celtics missed the playoffs, all coaches in the city are fired. Okay, good, good. And they didn't do great in the draft lottery either, so. Yeah, it's like recruiting. Just the city's not very good at it. That and this, though, remember, this is actually the only team that Bostonians should like.

It really is. It's the only team. Because remember, The underrepresented opinions of America's basically first city, right? Scrappy underachievers. Secretly an incredibly wealthy place. Hard working people. Sure. The cradle of America. Cradle of America.

You won't claim that. Okay, go ahead. Just put your face down and grind through the opponent or let Tom Brady throw it 55 times a game. Sure. Sure. A place where people do things the right way. Or I don't know. Just videotape the shit out of it or play dirty like Larry Bird.

Yeah. Go Gators. Woo. You know, a place where people haven't really lost the knack for hard work. I mean, the Patriot Way would not have been to let anybody discover the body. Yeah, I'm saying it's why he's not on the team anymore. That's fair. You know, that's a good point.

Tom Brady's never had a body found. a place where people root for the underdog like Boston College you know when the city supports whatsoever as opposed to its multiple other championship teams and many their sports. An academic hub Kronkowski I love how beloved he is

as one of the most beautiful and like dumbest man on the planet Look at this cartoon idiot Look at this car Unkillable cartoon idiot honestly i think that like ben rothlessberger and rob gronkowski are somehow related as like being like flip sides of this like basically all of the like dark dumb huge lug nut things that like rob gronkowski is sexy homer simpson he's absolutely sexy homer simpson and the rest

of the country is grimes frank grimes