Shutdown Fullcast - Shutdown Fullcast 4.21.0

Episode Date: June 22, 2016

FARMERS ONLY THIS WEEK. The Shutdown Fullcast this week covers the agriculturingest slate of teams we've covered yet, including: --Nebraska, a team that on further examination reveals itself to have absolutely no predictability whatsoever for 2016. None. Look at that schedule and find more than two sure wins or two sure losses in either direction. Do it and die. --Virginia, an outlier here because a.) Virginia has not farmed since the 1800s and b.) all three of us admit that we will not watch more than three combined quarters of UVA football this year even with a new coach, because we never watch more than three combined quarters of Virginia football in any calendar year --Clemson! The thinkin' farmer's school, which happens to be good enough at scoring points to realistically outpace anyone trying to keep up with them this year. Deshaun Watson ran for a thousand yards and threw for over 4,000 last year and gets his best receiver back. Do not stare directly at the Clemson offense; do not handle it without protective goggles and lead aprons. --Oklahoma! Watch how much we don't talk about Bob Stoops having Joe Mixon as someone who somehow gets to play football this year. --It would be a shame to demean the sucecss of Iowa football in 2015 and their promise for 2016 by just talking about ¡EL ASSICO! and how badly Iowa got trashed in the Rose Bowl by Stanford. This, however, is a podcast built on shame. This is pretty much what we do. Learn more about your ad choices. Visit megaphone.fm/adchoices Learn more about your ad choices. Visit podcastchoices.com/adchoices

Welcome to the shutdown fullcast. I am Spencer Hull, editorial director of SB Nation, and founder of Every Day Should Be Saturday, joining me as always from the agricultural expanse of Kennesaw, Georgia. That would be Jason Kirk, our college football editor. Hi, Jason. Yeah, by that we mean the neighbor's cutting grass. I don't actually live on a farm,

which would be appropriate this week, because who boy, the teams we have in store, for y'all could fill a granary with just husky, manly football. All kinds of limbs to be lost in the chores that these teams perform on a week-to-week basis, merely in the act of survival.

Speaking of survival, someone has home internet now. Yay, Ryan Nanny. I'm fancy. You're so fancy. Joining us from, it's still Brooklyn. I know you move, but you're still Brooklyn, right? It's always Brooklyn. It's always Brooklyn. By code, you live in Brooklyn.

I have a farm-related question. Okay. So when you think of a farm, you probably, you have some, I think, assumptions or some connotations that go with it. You probably think of blue-collar folk, salt of the earth, getting dirty. You may be, there are also probably some negative associations with farmers that are, probably not fair about their intelligence or worldliness or what have you. A vineyard is a farm, but vineyard motherfuckers get off scot-free. If you tell somebody you're a farmer, they have a certain picture of you. But if you say you own a vineyard, oh my God, you are just, you are just the fanciest motherfucker in town. Is this where we can, can we artisanalize, can we re-commodify various, farms by specialty project

I think so right because like you know oh it's a taco no no no I'm sorry this is these these tortillas were handmade this is a tacitia this is not a taco this is an open

source tortilla delivery system yeah this is not a firearm it's actually like a Lego kit that you use to disrupt people's internal organs right yeah I mean who would look at something like that what an atrocious and abhorrent way of looking at anything right uh fortunately no one would

actually write that or publish it anyway so how can we re commodify the farm how can we like like it's not a pig farm has no glamour to it right no uh that that i think that is a um um um bacon dream works hmm too cute then i just feel like it i i mean i mean i just feel like it i mean I mean, then you're just, like, pissed off at it because it's making that face at you. You know what I mean? The pigs are making that smirk at you, and you're like, fuck that pig. I'm not eating that pig. Yeah, what if I called it, what if I called it, uh, a swine field?

Mm-hmm. Okay. That's, I mean, that, that, that sounds a little too much like swine flu. Maybe you call it like, um, like, craft meat, like instead of a craft brewery, like a craft meatery. yes by the way your opinions getting more weight with the sound of actual agriculture going on behind you yeah i have i have a certain degree of authority here if i if i say call it a pig farm you guys are going to be like hmm that's not bad yeah or can we get pork mongery a pork wow wow go arkansas

The best name for updating the cow farm. I'm going to call it a beef hollow. Oh, that's good. That has kind of like a Lord of the Rings connotation to it, to feel to it as well. I know, man. Just like, you have to walk into beef hollow carrying a staff and muttering strange things in elvish.

One does not simply walk into beef hollow. You're wearing like robes with suspenders on them? Like you have a staff in a banjo. Yeah, so that would be a beef hollow, and I think I'm out of artisanal, but you get the point. If I had to rename Nebraska, they're the corn. I think Nebraska was ahead of the curve on this, because Cornhusker is a really glorified term for, like, corn farmer. Yeah, right? Yeah.

No, they did a pretty good job with it, yeah. Like, they had the, like, $5 labels on a $1 bottle of brand well before anyone else, right? like these artisanally harvested linemen taken from the heartland placed in a system Nebraska placed in a system that functioned much as it has since 1918

the option hearty linemen We're saying Nebraska is pre-gentrified. I'm saying that Nebraska were the original gentrifiers, they were ahead of the curve on all of this and that if you could bottle Nebraska football and sell it for like $18 to people who moved to Austin like seven years ago.

I'm going to test that theory. Like Nebraska in a bottle. Have they ever tried that before? Like put really potent Nebraska stuff in a bottle and maybe give it football players? No, no, I have no idea. We are sub-tweeting so many people tonight. This is amazing. Yeah, this got weird, and I approve.

Yeah, no, they've never done that. Why would you say a thing like that? They were the best football team Any of us ever saw And we'll just dismiss any and all Steroid rumors about Raw beef fed strength Yeah

So out there in the Beef Hollow In Lincoln It hasn't been that way Not lately You're looking at a 6 and 17 Rolling into this year In 2016 This is the state

America doesn't appreciate its farmers That's true That's true And this is just one example Of how they don't appreciate their farmers For instance, they don't appreciate their farmers by taking a nice man like Bo Polini and letting him get hired away by Youngstown.

I'm sorry. I'm sorry. You did call Bo Polini a nice man? Yeah. All right. So again, shutdown forecast makes no guarantee that anything we say is factually accurate. Please continue. Remember, the man cranked out nine win crops year in, year out.

That's true. It was a steady rotation. And like any good crop rotation, you can't just win all the time. You've got to let some of them go fallow. That is. About four games a year, you get the dust bowl. That's how that works.

Nine and four, September, it's always September 4th. I hope we're really pissing off some, the farmers that listen to us by just totally misunderstanding how farming works. Yeah, you want some fun facts about Nebraska. Yeah. Just a couple. Yeah. Okay. Let's see.

They're losing four starting offensive linemen. Cool. That's cool. Yeah. uh they're they're depending on uh they're depending on on uh having a quarterback which when was the last time that happened it's been it's been a spell it's been well er crouch spell he he is a 17th year senior though Tommy Armstrong he's been there since 1998 was a teammate of scott frost Neil Neil Armstrong's brother yeah he is Neil Armstrong's brother he's

held up so well he's been there so long that I've heard Nebraska's recruiting Tommy Armstrong the third wow traditionally a Purdue family but you know everyone's got a black seat we don't want to talk about Purdue on the Nebraska episode whew hoo ho soar such a there's a trap

there's a trap door to hell let's just walk right by it upboard yeah and also just continuing to note the inability of the inability of Nebraska to sort of build a consistent defense of any sort and thank goodness they hire guy from the pack 12 because that's that'll solve that yeah that'll solve that um so when you look at

the schedule this year um i want to say something nice about you Nebraska so why do we not look at your schedule oh that's the solution okay cool so we're so blind a blind a blind record well all right now look at this right they went they went six and seven last year yeah right a slightly deceptive six and seven what makes you say that they were probably about the same nine-ish win quality by big ten west standards

and that that was our weekly shitting on the big ten west by R I mean mine I thought you meant that they were going to be the first answer the first trivia answer to name a six and seven team that won its bowl game yeah you went you you you went you actually won your bowl game to get

One win closer to 500. No, no, we're thinking positively, right? Yeah, that's true. You actually got, you're one under. One under. Joining the elite club of Minnesota and San Jose State because five and seven bowl teams went three and oh last year. Yeah, that's the key.

Let me tell you what, this is the one where when we predict the record here, oh, man, there are so many ways that we could go bust on the river here. We're going to. this is going to be like the saddest prices right game yeah because there's no way like there are several games here where i'm like i i have no data i have no ability to even guess what's going to happen for instance september 3rd at fresno state i mean they should win that sure should whyoming they should definitely win that oh look you're two and oh okay and Oregon comes to town you know what i don't know what the hell is going to happen besides Oregon winning

okay you're two and one then you get into the big 10 and honestly i want you to look at the big 10 schedule here and tell me how many games you know they're going to lose. I mean that. Lose. At Ohio State. Yeah. Mm-hmm. There's one. That's it.

That's it. Now the rest of them, I want to play this game with Nebraska's schedule. How many are they going to win? How many are they definitely going to win? This is where we would normally say Purdue, but we can't say that, Nebraska. You get Illinois at home.

you get the team of which we will not speak that's it I feel like Illinois is everybody's homecoming opponent this year yeah Illinois is bringing corsages everywhere they go they just they just pass them around he's just the he's just the cheap like last minute cruise for everybody like I don't know I have a plan for vacation

Illinois maybe Lovie Smith is like a really good singer and they want him at you know homecoming gatherings Illinois is your handsome cousin who doesn't think it's weird to go to prom with you No, it's not weird at all, man It's cool I'll be your date I love dancing

Yeah, I love dancing We'll dance together It won't be weird Illinois is out here Just like crashing on folks couches It's like that's true We don't have a home Can we go out of yours

Hey just happy to keep my per diem You know Just day by day I'm gonna get a gig It'll work You'll see Yeah they're all They're all coin flips

I can't I don't know. I don't have anything else to say. So based on that, I'm going to call for them to make a bowl game and show improvement by finishing at seven and six. Yeah. See, I think they're going to go six and seven, but with the bowl game loss. And people won't, people won't know whether that's improvement or a step back.

Sure. I don't know. I mean, yeah, that's it. We're going to move to the next team. But just know this. The theme for Nebraska 2016 is, we don't know. Anything can happen. Anything can happen.

I mean, except a Big Ten title birth. But other than that. Except nine wins. In my heart and in my mind, I do have Nebraska doing around nine, but six and seven, the hard way, that's a lot more entertaining. What, speaking of transitions, how would you gentrify the horse farm? That is a, um, a, uh, the, the original, um, uh, the original, uh, the original hybrid vehicle. That's the equestrial plane. The equestrian, I was gonna, I was gonna call it the, uh, the like Mercado del Caballo, right?

Uh, but yeah, that, that works. too, because our transition to a new and entirely different kind of Bronco. Hey! Seameless, you asshole. Shameless and seamless and seamless, and shameless. That would be UVA. Yeah, we're not going to talk for UVA that long.

No one should. Not a thing. Another Oregon fan. Another Oregon opponent, rather, though. Oregon plays 13 teams in the first two weeks of the season, all the same two days. It's a tough schedule,

but it is a way to build your resume early, and I respect that. Yep. They're innovators, you know? And when you got Nike, they'll just let you do that. They're like, well, sorry, it's Monday. Nope, calling it. Today is Saturday.

I like the build your resume implication of an Oregon-Virginia game, as if any positive resume lines will come from that. I mean, they've done it before. Both sides are just doing it for the experience. Maybe Mark Helferich doesn't know how to decline a Google calendar invite, and that's how Oregon gets all these games scheduled. What was the last time you saw UVA grad went on anything but a resume?

Ooh, wow. Just let that out there. It's a really good school. Yeah, I've heard of so many of you. Tiki, Barber, he didn't mean it. No, I did, Tiki. Come for my ass. I dare you.

I'm not an intern on your TV show. What do you want to do with me? Jesus. It's a mean, mean, mean night. But before UVA plays Oregon, Oregon, they get Richmond. I don't know why I brought that up. I just thought people should know the Richmond.

Which calls to mine the only good game day sign from all of last year, which was at JMU. It was two girls holding up a sign that said Richmond pooped. I think it was. Richmond farted. I don't remember what it was. But it was one of those two. And that's all I have to say about Virginia, five and seven. Five and seven.

Just phoned that in. You know what? I didn't look at the schedule past Duke because it's, I mean, it's the ACC Coastal. It's either 75 or 5 and 7, and they're 5 and 7. That, 5 and 7? Yeah, 7 or 5 and 7. You know what?

I'm going to say this. I'm going to put Bronco up. Bronco is going to get the benefit of the doubt and attain what is considered success at UVA. I'm just going to call it 7 and 5. By the way, I can predict how much. many quarters of UVA football, Jason and I will watch this year, because, like, Ryan

won't watch a native. Oh, I will watch, I will watch that Yukon game. Don't you dare, you son of a bitch. That's correct. So, for any of these on Thursday? None of these are on Thursday. That takes it down. Oh, yeah, shit, I might go to five and seven, because

Thursdays belong to UVA. Also, that Oregon game is at 10.30, East Coast time. Yeah, people aren't watching that. Jesus. Yeah, I'm going to go ahead. I'm going to go ahead and just say this.

They're going to go. I'll stick with seven and five and that Ryan will watch three quarters of UVA football and I will watch a combined two this year. I'll, I, um, I mean, I might not see any. I don't see how, I don't see how any, any right thinking person would see any Virginia football this year. I mean, the only way that are on Saturdays. Yeah. And, uh, there will definitely be a better game being.

played at the same time yeah i would say the three of us combined won't watch 10 minutes of virginia football all year that should be virginia's thing should just be like yeah we don't play on saturdays anymore we're wednesday night that's all we do come find that is the the classy night because saturdays are for and that way you can pull the um you can pull the television you know where a tv network will be like america's most watched action comedy on tuesdays is only Uncle Buck. Uncle Buck looks terrible, by the way. But UVA can do that.

They can own Wednesday night. They can be America's Most Watched Wednesday night, ACC team. So it's like Virginia makes a run through the Mountain West every Friday night. It's better than that. McGiver reboot looks like so. Remember how you've been trouble, you've had trouble getting to sleep on Thursdays because you're so excited for Fridays. Do you want to be reminded to go to bed?

Well, fear no more How they're waiting all day for Thursday night Oh, and Friday night Friday night is Mac Brown's night We got Mac Brown calling Virginia games That'll knock folks out That's true Yeah, hey everybody

Just a reminder that going to bed early is extremely important You could, and by the way, with your bed They say to flip the bed And then to get a new bed every five years I'd like to see Virginia open the offense up like a breathe-right strip. You've got to think about what that bed's done for you. All the good rest it's given you, you might want to just hang on to it. I didn't like what B.Y.U. did to Bronco Menden Hall.

And I especially didn't like what Bronco Mendenhall did to me at Texas. This secondary is snug as a duvet cover. Boy, he really didn't like what Bronco Mendenhall did him in Texas. Hey, we're talking about Virginia bit. y'all remember that time bry you i know that's man oh we really can't go an entire episode without talking shit about texas sorry can you imagine some sequence of events that ended up with with virginia playing texas in a bowl game and mac brown having to call it just getting like serious PTSD shakes

like ah oh wait wait texas not making a ball game move on oh we got him at nine and three that's you i I expressly disclaimed that opinion. Reggie doesn't say so. Yeah, you know what? The most Texas thing I can do would be to secede from that opinion. Let's talk about Clemson. Or to kill it without a proper trial.

That's what we're about to do. These drugs are smuggled. Hey, Clemson. Congratulations on making the national championship last year and playing Alabama down to the wire. For some reason, we put you behind Nebraska and UVA. In this preview, God, we're assholes. tremendous assholes Clemson does continue our agricultural theme though

sure sure I think it's important to mention that a prolific agricultural school and as I check once a year at least on the South Carolina Clemson rivalry Wikipedia page to make sure it still has a section headlined agitation from the farmers which was apparently a critical turning point

in state history when farmers got involved in that rivalry. And, yeah, that section has been there for at least five years now. I hope it never goes the way. It's also my favorite jewel song from the last four years. It's very soulful. It's important to have one of those. I didn't know that she had them at all. The question that I want to ask is this is the team that everybody knows.

Oh, you lost a ton of people in the secondary, okay, including McKenzie Alexander. you're pretty much going to be you're going to be kind of a mess there for a bit to be honest like just prepare can I tell you how you might want to just line up for that and what might result from playing the first month of your season getting your secondary

together one you play at Auburn oh you you want you want an offense that might be throwing you the ball a little bit generous you want to get that secondary get them some hands work

yeah get them some hands work Hands work. Jeremy Johnson's throw in the ball. You might get some added confidence coming at you real fast. Just distributing fishes and loaves, my man. That's all. Then you get like two gimmies, Troy and South Carolina State, and then you get

Georgia Tech, because you know that's a passing team. And then you really don't get anybody who even attempts to do that until Louisville. And then after that, it's a falloff all the way back to October 29th. But they got to play Boston College. you have like two or three teams in the first like six weeks of the season seven weeks of the season that won't throw the ball more than eight times a game

I mean and keep it going like after let's see after NC State then Florida State okay they'll be able to pass Syracuse is going to pass like why then you finish with pit who their their entire game plan is just it just sounds like the word pit then you got Wake in South Carolina so you play, what, three teams that can throw? Oh, shit, you got to play Will Mustchamp Offeds? You fucked! So, yeah, the two very, I mean, I guess in a playoff sense, the two big concerns, but in an ACC sense, minor concerns for Clemson are, you know, they lost two very good defensive linemen and at least two very good players in the secondary.

But who's going to take advantage of that other than maybe Louisville, maybe FSU? Yeah. You have very little to do that. And then you have somebody who can mask your defensive inadequacies on the other side of the ball and Deshawn Watson because he's going to score. They're going to score. They are going to score a lot. I mean, like, what is the worst case Clemson is going to do this year? Give up 45 points.

Okay. Deshaun Watson is going to score 80 points. Like, he gets back his entire offense. He's, you know, he's a year older. They say the third year is when you'd make your actual, you know, your actual leap in development. and he gets back his best receiver. Clemson played its entire season last year without its actual best receiver.

That offense is scary. Yeah. You get Mike Williams. You get Artavis Scott. You get Dion Kane. You know what? You know what? Watch that Boston College game be a weird slug fest anyway.

Oh, yeah, yeah. Just watch it be some like, oh, man, 15 to 2. Good win, Clemson. No matter who you are, BC is going to drag you in the deep water. I'm going to tell you this. They're going to go 10 and 2 at worst, and here's why. They got Deshawn Watson, and they have a guy named Ray Ray McLeod. I am not betting against any team blessed and armed with something as fearsome as a Ray Ray MacLeod.

Oh, yeah, and Deshaun Watson, he threw for 4,000 yards last year, threw for 35. That's a lot. He ran for over 1,000. That's a lot. And 12 TDs. Yeah, my God. Played the best offensive game. I've seen a single player play, like, maybe since Mike Vick against Florida State.

like against a really, really fine Alabama team and keeping them in the game single-handedly. Yeah, he's awesome. If he doesn't get injured, like 10 and 2 is as bad as they're going to do. Do they have to run the table to make, get back to the playoff? No, no. Okay, okay. I think that could, it depends on what that one is.

I almost think if you lose one, you just fuck up an easy one. If you lose one, then you know, then you're playing politics and you're hoping for chaos and all that. But you're not out by any means. I mean, one spot goes to the SEC, you know, the Big Ten with Ohio State losing so much, I don't know if that's a guaranteed spot there. You know, if the Big Ten is a two-lossed champion or something like that, you know. And then, of course, the Pac-12 champ will have like eight losses. So, yeah, I mean, I could see a one-lost Clemson in there, no problem.

okay yeah all right so i'm i'm actually i'm just going to i will call this i don't think they lose to a soul on the schedule so undefeated rolling back in that's okay um i'm a little less confident in that yeah at fs u stands out um at georgia tech on a thursday is still weird and dumb even though they don't have a big game before it um i'll say 11 and 1 It helps that Florida State and Georgia Tech are the only, I mean, I guess, Auburn, but no, we don't care about you, Auburn. Like, the road schedule is not so bad. Not so bad. So, so you're saying 11-1, I got 12-0.

I will side. I will side with Jason. 11-1. All right, 11-1 it is. Just because it's hard, it's hard to go undefeated in consecutive seasons. Yeah, unless you're Michigan, like who we have going undefeated. well yeah yeah that that's easy harbots listen man harbos got a kid on the way he's got to make some money so so uh yeah we've just put clemson in the playoff i believe yep fine with that we probably

did they they just bump stanford i think so fuck man you guys got to tell me this i'm trying to be the best stanford fan i can be actually on our board right now we have four pack 12 north teams at nine and three we'll say stanford uh beat them all in one It has the tight breaker. Good. Thank you. Thank you. Uh-huh.

Yeah, math. Math is not a feature of this podcast. Yeah, don't worry about that. Let's, oh, yeah. I know somebody out there is going to, at the end of this, look at our numbers and say, well, that shit's fucking impossible. And here's why. And I want you to know right now, I don't care. I don't care at all.

Let's see. We got, uh, Oklahoma. Yeah. I'm not even going to try to transition that. Oh, boy. a Clemson opponent last year. Yes. Yes.

And a team, which, again, like every single Bob Stoops team ever, is either going to make the playoff or go 10 and 2. There. The first month of this schedule, no, stop it. The first month of this schedule is brutal. It's hot. It is so hot. I mean, you got ULM. Yeah.

You got Texas. Mm-hmm. that's it that's all you need and three top 10 teams no big deal yeah yeah yeah Oklahoma Oklahoma goes in man they go teeth first this year Houston to open

who no pressure no yeah you exactly better not lose like if you win you get like oh cool you beat a mid-major you know what I mean like there's no like wow man you beat the American

conference champion like who cares Who cares? But if you lose, oh, boy, did you lose? Yeah, it's good, but it's not going to read like Houston's good. If Houston beats Oklahoma, Tom Herman might get the Texas job the next day. I'm Herman might get the Oklahoma job and job. Bidding more!

You're looking at, you're looking at like, you're looking at the dude down the street getting out of the pool. You're like, oh, he goes to the gym. Oh, man, everyone's looking at him. No, no. you're looking at the next thing then you seeusins up by like 25 and in the middle of fourth quarter cameras are trying to find Bob stoops no

there's just boosters and cowboy hats waving Tom Herman over and my Mike Stoves is the one that really needs to worry about that oh boy because you know what old Bob's got a chair lay low Mike yeah you know who gave Mike a chair

Bob You know whose chair that still is? Bob's. You're just sitting in it, Mike. You know who ain't irreplaceable? Other Stoops, brothers. Other, exactly. There are supplemental stoopses, and then there's Bob.

Mike, you're just a backup stoops. Yeah, you're mid-game. You're not big game, Bob. You're mid-game, Mike. Then they get Ohio State. They do get Ohio State in a rebuilding area, and they get them in Oklahoma. So that should be, that's like, that's, they could, yeah,

they should. That's not a loss. And then they get a weird one on October 1st. They get at TCU to start the month of October before they get to Texas. And it seems to me that like somewhere in there there has to be a stumble because they get Ohio State and they get a body week. Then they get at TCU, which ain't easy. And then they play Texas where anything can happen. Like Texas winning.

Texas winning last year, for instance. Yeah. Like that being like a total coin flip of rivalry where the, you know, where the pregame rankings and what Vegas thinks are completely irrelevant. And yeah, in the first five games of your season, you have, okay, the biggest, uh, the biggest mid-major game of the entire year, you know, if Houston wins that game, then we're talking about like, uh-oh, might have, you know, might have a non-power in the playoff. So like, lots and lots of stakes there. You have Ohio State. That's the biggest out-of-conference game of the entire year anywhere. At TCU, that might be the Big 12th championship in week four, week five.

And then you have the Texas, you know, the mayhem game against Texas. So by week five, Oklahoma could be number one. Bob Stubes could be kidnapped. Who knows? That also, what I like about that Oklahoma game, the Texas game rather, is that that could definitely be a, like Charlie Strong has to win this because if they've already lost to Notre Dame and maybe Cal on the road

and maybe Oklahoma State that could be bad so you might... So then we're talking about like a 1 in 3 Texas and a 4-0 Oklahoma What could go wrong? By the way we managed to go this whole time without talking about a quarterback who had 36 TDs which is seven interceptions

through for 3,700 yards last year. Baker Mayfield was incredible so that offense should be great. I think they need two new starters in the offensive line. Other than that, they're just chugging along. And let's see. Oh, man, you know who they have it running back?

Yeah, well, they got some IJP, Ryan. No big deal. Just the all-time record holder for yards in a game. Happened against Kansas, but it was still a sanction. That still counts. You believe it or not, still legal if you do it against Kansas. And his backup is the guy nobody really wants to acknowledge or talk about. But, oh, yeah, yeah, that's Joe Mixett.

I mean, I mean, several courts in the state of Oklahoma want to talk about them, but. Yeah, I think actually they don't. Oh, that's true. They don't seem to, they're unfamiliar with that. They didn't see a thing, officer. Yeah. Huh. Yeah.

So, so, so yeah, we won't talk about Joe Mixing. Yep. Because, you know, hey, let's just, the Big 12 hasn't had any scandals this year. Everything's fine. Everything's fine. Yeah. All is well. Yeah.

So looking at this, I would just say that you probably have, this is probably like where I could see you losing one in that four, that three game stretch, like September, October, you lose one of those. And then from there on out, like only that trip to West Virginia sort of has any kind of trouble. I would say that and they need to replace a cornerback. So 10 and 2, I'll call 10.2. I'll throw Bedlam in the, who knows, category. Always, yeah. Actually, actually, not always. Yeah, never, pretty much.

No, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah. Like, I always say that, like, it's Bedlam, anything can happen. Not really. That's a game that's really branded itself well, like, oh, you got to watch Bedlam. No, you don't. Look at the record. You don't need to watch Bedlam. I think Little Caesar should embrace that.

Like, you'll never know what's on the, yeah, it's just pizza. Yeah, I'm just pizza Who knows what madness lies in the heart of Little Caesars Carbohydrates Just cheap Just square pizza, cool, cool, cool, cool, cool Oh, okay, yeah, that's insanity I'm gonna I'm gonna I'm gonna go 11 at 1

I think you drop at TCU And otherwise at Texas Tech That's gonna get ugly That's gonna get wild and hairy But otherwise I think it sets up nice you get Ohio State early. Gosh, you better beat Houston. Everything else was pretty good here.

Oh, Lord, you better beat Houston. So I'm putting Oklahoma in the playoff as well. Wow. Yeah. I'm going to put them at 10 in 2. I think two sounds right. Okay. Just they, the Tennessee game was stupidly close last year.

There were a bunch of the, they barely beat TCU. they mostly squeaked by Baylor. I don't know. I feel like there's probably a little bit of reversal coming this year. A little bit of a worse. I would also say this, that when you apply pressure to the general whole of this Oklahoma team thus far in this model with these coordinators and these players

and the way that they're recruiting, the place they break is on defense and they break down in the secondary. And the Big 12 is exactly the kind of place where you've got two, three, maybe 14. to use. And Houston and Ohio State are not the two teams to play early on if that's your thing, right? Yeah, because you're playing teams that like to spread the ball and make the safeties move one way or the other. And suddenly, yeah, there's somebody behind them. Yeah. That's like you're breaking in a new corner or two. Plus Monroe.

Yeah, and the noble, the normal Warhawk. The Noble Warhawk. Oklahoma 3 and 8. Wow. Wow. You burn. I'm sticking with it. I'm sticking with it. But we'll, but 10 and 2 is, I believe, our final answer. Okay. Okay. And this moves on to our kicker, finishing out the program. We saved the most Iowa for the last. You said kicker. The most important position on the field for this particular team. In case you thought we were going to punt on the end of this. All right. Let me just start by saying this. If you go and you look at the number of prospects produced by a single state compiles for every state in the entire union. You get

a couple on the bottom, and one of them's Iowa. Iowa doesn't produce many. So if you wonder why they pay Kirk Farrant's $23 million a year, I think is his current salary, and they occasionally let him put members of the family on the payroll.

It's because under Kirk Farrants, they have not just outpunched their weight. There's some more extreme way of saying this they have outpunted their weight I believe I like that I like that they definitely they have definitely outpunted

their weight period so Los Reyes Deracico oh wait wait I think that's the herald of America's finest rivalry game I believe what Ryan is saying

is that we should look at the schedule, and the game against Iowa State is on September 10th. Yeah, that would be September 10th, Iowa State. This is the game that Ryan and I, I won't speak for Jason, but Ryan and I care most about on rivalry week. It's not even on rivalry week. That's what a rivalry it is. It's played in the second week in the season.

You can't let it boil. It'll boil over. No, it's fresh, man. You don't want to let that. You got to get right to it. You don't want to let that ferment. it becomes a liquor too strong even for the immortal drinkers of the Midwest to handle, okay? You don't want to let, like, you know, either of these teams, like, figure out offensive identities or, or anything like that.

No, no, no. Nope. You went right out of training camp. Let's get to it. It's like the Kentucky Derree. Just put the three-year-olds out there. Watch them run. Iowa, Iowa State.

It's like if the trash monster from Star Wars fought a different trash monster from Star Wars. so good and the only way and the only goal is for the rest of us to get the fuck out of the garbage compactor just like like as if kirk ferrence in the role of skywalker is like shut it off shut it off and and the rest of us are like no no we're gonna no we're gonna let you we're gonna watch this what a wonderful smell you discovered iowa so how many It's called Ames. In the history of this rivalry, how many times has the losing team scored zero points? Oh, boy. Uh, hold on. Hold on. I'm looking.

10, 11, 12, 13. It's a lot. Uh, it looks like only 13 times out of 63 meetings. I guess it's probably not that bad. There's a lot of twos and threes and sixes. There's a five in here. there's a two to nothing two to nothing that's a great one six three

twelve ten ten seven seventeen five I believe that's a young jeezy song a lot of these scores are shitty holding poker hands yeah 1513 these are blackjack quizzes

I got ten three off suit I fold uh That or that or this. The other thing in this game that is absolutely a delight is how mad Iowa fans, not really Iowa State fans, they know what's up. I think they're kind of always mad like the Hulk. Yeah.

Like if the Hulk couldn't change. Like if the, like Little Red Hulk. Yeah, this is, that's how this happens. This is, by the way, a team that, how did they do last year? Just, I don't want to short, everybody. Last year, Iowa won. Rose Bowl appearance. Rose Bowl appearance.

I mean, Iowa beat Iowa State. That's what we were talking about. Oh, yeah, you're right. The most important. Yeah, that's the Rose Bowl of Iowa. And then after that, the undefeated Iowa Hawkeyes triumphed by making an appearance at the Rose Bowl. That's the traditional El Asico post-game celebration is always in Pasadena. I will say, well, I don't.

This is not anything against Michigan State. I am a little sad that Iowa State, that Iowa rather did not win the Big Ten championship game, just to see the playoff committee be like, well, fuck. We kind of fucking have to, don't we? God damn it. We felt that Houston's body of most impressive

and exhibited great game control. However, Iowa, we were unable to obtain any of their game film. They are in the Rose Bowl. Jim Delaney, just writing the sternest handwritten letter. In terms of coach rewarding, we thought Iowa outperformed most of its competitors. Iowa and Michigan State will be playing Stanford and the Rose Bowl. Coach Willingham was particularly impressed by Iowa's willingness to hold on to a coach for so long.

Yeah. By the way, what was this? Incredible investment in human resource. Like, that's the one. That's the one thing I... Because, look, we know taking Michigan State out of the playoff doesn't change a goddamn thing. So why not just put... Maybe Alabama's a little more winded if it has to chase down more punch?

Sure, sure. Instead of just sacking Connor Cook, I don't know. So that's the one result I would have liked to change from last year. Iowa, Big Ten champion, playoff participant. Yeah, I would also state this. My favorite thing. what was the score at halftime of the Rose Bowl that a triumphant Iowa team made a 12 and 1 Iowa team

It was 28-0 or 35-0 It was a yes 35 biscuit That's that's what it was Carter you mad woman Can you imagine how mad Iowa fans were Seeing like a white dude do all that to them Like Traylor

You have betrayed In so many Iowa values They were like Wealthy private school Damn it With a white running back Who's uninjured

With a sarcastic marching band And they got Tim White at halfback The part that The part that burnt them the hardest Not losing 350 But having the Stanford marching band make vicious sort of clumsy fun of them that was it like basically they were like your hicks and iowa people were like brr iver came out and said we our campus is called the farm

here's a tribute to the farm here's a cow iowa fans saw a cow and uh got mad so they got mad for like our like anything we put on facebook they were like 30 rabbit iowa fans under it just infuriated like how can you put this blasphemy on my timeline Here's a little media inside baseball for you listeners, for the 17 of you who've made it this far, all of you, Iowa State fans. The college football playoff went to New Year's Eve night, which was a stupid horrible decision made by old men who never leave their homes. That was very bad for everyone in sports media. That night was just a total disaster of a tank for everyone, including us. We were working very hard, and people aren't really online.

So the whole time we just kept telling ourselves, hey, tomorrow Stanford's band is going to piss off Iowa. That's going to make everything okay. All the numbers are going to come back as soon as that happens. We were counting on it. We literally planned our entire New Year's Day around Stanford's Band coming, and it did. Oh, my gosh. And it was even better than we hope for. I would like to point out, in the Lowry's Beef Bowl, before the Rose Bowl, Iowa ate 100.

108 more pounds of prime rib than Stanford did. The real winners. Who's laughing now? Fancy boys. Is that why Iowa lost? They just couldn't turn down food and then they're out there

all all all sabotaged by the thing I love most. Beat comid. Yeah, that's called a tragic figure. That's what that is. That's called a Greek Tragedy. Shakespeare in dinner form.

More like a Greece tragedy.