Shutdown Fullcast - Shutdown Fullcast 4.22.0

Episode Date: June 29, 2016

Why did we discuss USC? Mostly to remind you no one knows who their coach is, and so we could play out the gag of not saying his name to make you look up who it is. Oh, and to make Ryan go back when Spencer forgot the gag, said his name, and then forced Ryan to edit in some extremely dope music over the guy's name at the 9:30 mark. Topics! (THEY'RE CALLIN' AGAIN.) --What USC will look like in 2016, which will probably be "a lot like other USC teams in recent history, but with an absolutely brutal schedule including Alabama in week one." You'd want a few warmups if you were a new coach. UNNAMED COACH does not get one, and that should be extremely entertaining for everyone but USC fans. They get to break in a new QB, too, and most of a new front seven! Just lean on the phrase "IMMENSELY TALENTED AND GROWING EVERY DAY," Trojan fans. It's a rhetorical rock that won't budge for at least a year of steady support. --Missouri! Don't listen to this part, it's just depressing to talk about, we shouldn't have talked about Missouri at all. --Kentucky! Man, just don't listen to this either. You chose poorly, listeners. You chose so poorly when you picked this selection. --Cal! When you look at a team and they could conceivably go 3-9, that's...seriously, why did you give us these teams to talk about. --A quick look at Oklahoma State, the school where Mike Gundy is still coach. We checked and called and everything, he's actually still there despite feuding with the school's biggest booster every three years or so when his contract comes up. Learn more about your ad choices. Visit megaphone.fm/adchoices Learn more about your ad choices. Visit podcastchoices.com/adchoices

And welcome to the shutdown forecast. We are recording, it's a hot one. Man, it is a hot one. In the words of Carlos DVX Santana, it is a hot one. He wrote those. Rob Thomas just said him.

Don't look it up. That's a true story. So this week, we are, again, tackling some different teams, some teams chosen at random. Some teams that, I don't know, some of them are obscure a little obscure some of them are pretty well known for instance we were going to talk about our first one oh hi jason kirk joining us live from kentisaw georgia who was going to be the first one we were going to talk about tonight uh you had just mentioned u sc now let's clarify that would be southern southern cow are we still having this fight oh unfortunately we are still having this fight yes apologies to the nine people in south carolina who will tell you that that we're a state

before they were to school and just don't Google it. Don't Google. I don't believe in Google. Only use dog pile. Is this what it's like to live in Tbilisi? I think so. What's that mean? Well, you know, the real Georgia is over here.

Georgia is here before Georgia, therefore we have to, yeah. We were a country before they were a debtor's colony. Let me just rewind and suggest that historical arguments coming out of the state of South Carolina presented with great passion. Should probably be ignored. Good rule of thumb. We're going to call you the Constantinople Gamecocks.

That'll solve everything. Meet my son, Bort Sumter? Yeah, Bort Sumter. Where'd you get that name? Crazy. I know. Everyone likes Charleston. Charleston's so nice.

Yeah. I mean, I guess in some way we are inadvertently getting fuel to the fire by talking about South Carolina for the first minute and a half of our USC preview. Might have. Maybe they got a point there. Let's not about the real UFC, because you know what you can't spell Carlos Santana without? Yeah.

I got there. You do the math yourself. I don't have to hold your hands. Carlos Santana. Like, carless Santana. Wow. Curlose. I assume they're car less Santana because the NCAA is watching.

Yeah, so if they're going to do anything, you know how they're going to have to cheat? They're going to have to be what about it, huh? Without ripples? Shut up. Yeah. I hate you. They're going to have to play the game involved. They're going to have to be smooth.

Yes, they're going to have to be smooth. I already hate this. So anyway. Same, same. USC. Now, here's the fun part. What are some things that you know about USC? First of all, what's their coach's name?

Y'all. Clay Travis. Clay. Randy Travis. Senator Clay Davis. Senator Clay, that's close. That's close. Again, we've pointed this out before.

And we're not going to help you out, by the way. If you're listening to this podcast and you want to talk about USC. Todd Helton. You have to go back to one of the bowl episodes and listen because we literally did an entire episode about no one knows who USC's coach is. So dig back in the vaults. Go find it. We don't know which one it was. I think USC's coach should be like Sia.

I think U.S.C.'s coach should just be where a wig covers, just hides the whole identity. and or they can be like a luchador and wear the mask and protect their public identity. Because it's not gone real well for the last, like, you know, two coaches there. So you might want to try something else. It's kind of like Captain America. How there's like three Captain America's in any one time. Like one of them has the shield. One of them has the suit.

One of them has the hat. One of them is a hydro double agent. Oh, spoilers. Spoilers. Yeah, sorry. Sorry, for those of you who read Captain of America and didn't know that, I guess. Yeah, one was born before World War II. One is pretty young.

You know, there's a USC coach. Which one is it? Who cares? It's all of them. It's none of them. Let me share with you. You're the coach of USC. Now, when you think about USC, by the way, like, that's, I mean, that's like, you're thinking this is a top shelf, like, brand that I don't quite understand.

I'm like oh man USC's real important I'm like I don't know anything about what they mean to like the city of Los Angeles or culturally what they are like I see people in the stands

I know it's a private school so they have money but like they're not filling up that whole stadium right like who roots for USC that's what I want to know is it like one of these things like an LA Miami town

where they're like we barely cling to society anyway we're just rooting for whoever scores a lot of points I mean if you wait until I'm going to estimate week seven of the RAM season you're going to see a lot of U.S. C fans.

A lot of the C fence. Yeah, driving right back to Papa. Stan Crinky, the most important contributor to fan of attendance. So when they said after each USC coaching search that, ah, I think Jeff Fisher could have been the man to get this place packed again. They were right. They were not wrong. That's a brilliant observation.

I really hadn't thought of that, that Jeff Fisher actually, yeah. Jeff Fisher orchestrated all this just because he loved his alma mater so much. He helped drive the St. Louis Rams into perfect mediocrity knowing they would wind up back in L.A. Remember this when Lane Kiffin gets the Chargers job. And they also wind up in L.A. Every NFL. All for the glory of Troy.

Yeah, that and that and this, that USC is great because if they want a player and the USC happens to be really good, they're going to get that player. USC will not an 18 year old with USC on their recruiting visit is going to go there that's just going to happen they lose they have juju smith schuster

he's awesome they have adory jackson he's also awesome they have they lead the league and like players who are awesome who will lose four games that's been the thing you're like man how did they lose

four or five games with those people on roster. Well, let me tell you a little something about Lane Kiffin. And then let me tell you a little something about Steve Sarkeesian. Which, by the way, have you heard anything about Steve Sarkeesian? Nope. At all? Not a word. He went to treatment. I think he was still I think he's still in a lawsuit with USC, but I honestly don't know what the status than that is. All of us are. That's true.

I mean, like that was March. We filed a class section and we'll be getting us like free postage stamps or something i mean that was i mean that was that was that was that was that was nothing nothing like absolutely nothing let's be clear that might be a good sign that'd be a real good sign for steve sarkis yeah because i'm just going to throw it out there there are other people with a history of alcohol rums who can't stay out of the news it's not going great for them right now gig them hmm perhaps other other other other people who big names in our sport for a while. Who's to say?

Yeah. Boy, you know, the other good news for Steve Sarkozyzian, he does not have to play this. He does not have to coach this USC schedule because it is rough. It's very rough. Yeah, we've said this about, like, did we pick anybody? Like, everybody in the Pac-12 North, we were like, oh, their schedule's pretty manageable.

And everyone in the Pack 12 South, we've gone, whew. Yeah, but, but. So part of USC's challenge this year is that the entire Front 7 pretty much is turning over. And in their first three weeks, they're going to play Alabama, the reigning national champion at a neutral site, and they're going to play the reigning Rose Bowl winner and conference champion, Stanford, on the road. Two teams that based on their history are not who you want to be retooling your defensive front against. That seems bad. that seems bad that's my analysis

USC this seems bad hmm that's good and and y'all you all should know that uh Ryan was actually typing out notes before this show so a lot of a lot of consideration went into that analysis and i i have to agree with it because because i made an offer to listeners of this podcast to pay pal me money to not talk about their teams and nobody took me up on it so fuck it i'm gonna talk about your team your teams are getting spoke on I mean, this whole schedule is, oh, no. Like your other two out-of-conference games, one is Notre Dame.

Yep. I don't know why you insist on playing Notre Dame because one of you always loses that game in case you missed it. The other is Utah State. Why the hell did you ever play Utah State? They're pretty good mid-major. Never play those, never. Yeah, especially if, I mean, I don't know. This is one of those things where you go, we don't know much about...

Tost salads and scrambled eggs. Because remember... Way to give it away. You summed a bitch. I'm going to bleep it. I'm going to go back and bleep it. No, just stop. Move on.

I'm going to bleep it. Recut it. You can dub this over it. Toss salads and scrambled eggs. Thank you. There. You can take that, recut it, put it over it. Okay.

So, yeah, we don't know anything about, um, there you go, hiring another person who's like, like, actually, USC went a step further. We pointed this out before. They not only hired an offensive coordinator. They hired one with, with no real. head coaching experience. Maybe that was the problem. They did bring back Clancy Pendergast, who has had a lot of defensive success at

USC before. That's not necessarily going to help with a new quarterback getting broken in, but whatever. Now, this schedule sucks. This schedule is straight bad. You got to play. Can I tell you what? Stanford and Oregon from the north. Yeah, go ahead.

Just Stanford, Oregon, and Washington from the north. No, Ryan, I was going to say this. Who do they, after facing body blow Stanford, by the way, here's your body blow, your body blow lineup. Yep. You start with Bama. Yep. Then you go home and you play Utah State, and they'll make you run all over the place

and work because they're pesky and they don't give up, even if they're going to get a hammer. Then you go to Stanford. Yep. And then you have to go on the road to Utah. Six days later, on short rest. On short rest. Yeah, it's bad.

I mean, the good news is you're going to play Arizona State and Colorado after that, at home, and USC is probably going to dump truck both of those teams just because they're going to be sick of being dump trucked themselves. And that's healthy. That's how it works. It's a circle of life. Man, that four-game stretch to finish is just Oregon at Washington, at UCLA, Notre Dame at home. It's not great. I mean, I will say this.

If USC puts together a good season here, that means they are legit as hell. There will be no room to sort of argue that the Pact 12 is weak or, you know, USC's just skating by, like, this is one of the toughest-looking schedules that we've previewed so far. I think. I don't know if either of you disagree with that. This is the toughest schedule we've looked at, in my opinion. Can I also give you who their offensive line coach is? Please do. Jason, do you pick up this little nugget?

It's not coming to mind. Okay. That'd be former UAB head coach Neil Callow, aka the guy who ran Georgia's kind of often in different lines when he was at UGA. So, like, I don't know. That doesn't seem super promising to me in the least. So, yeah, this feels like a seven-win team. I mean, the good news is with a schedule this tough, you have some leeway as a first-year head coach who will not be named.

God damn it, Spencer. Play Travis. To potentially stumble. Seven would be bad. Seven would be bad. I think this is the seven and five teams. It might be. That will be bad for them if it is, because that means they have,

the games they should win on this schedule are let's say both the Arizona games Colorado Cal Utah State and maybe we'll even throw in Utah there I think I'll say UCLA as well okay UCLA lost a lost a number of players okay USC's got the talent edge it's not really a road game yeah um boy the rest of these games I mean yeah there's still a lot of question marks on here but I'll say 8 and 4. I mean, USC is really talented, and I don't know. It feels like sometimes we in general, not the three of us,

but just really everybody in general sort of overrate coaches a little bit. And USC, if they get replacement level coach, and literally there is no coach more qualified to be a replacement level coach than this man, because he's been this for about three or four years now, literally replacing other coaches. If they just get totally average coaching, they got a lot of five stars, man. So, I mean, if you can't get eight wins with this roster,

that's pretty bad. No matter how damn hard the schedule. If they can make it through the first four games with a split, and then they can sort of pick up some momentum before the buy week, then they can hit those last five games, Cal, before you mentioned Spencer. and hopefully have some things figured out. I mean, yeah, Notre Dame is not a fun team to have on your schedule this year necessarily, but it's a hell of a lot better to play them November 26th than it is September 26th

when you're still figuring some things out. So, I mean, the good news to having this really rough backstretch is some of the youth will be figured out. You may have, you know, solved some of your problems and things will sort them, in theory, sort themselves out. You may also be just a cratering, smoldering wreck at this point. Who's to say? That's the beauty of this game. The beauty of it is someone gets laughed at.

Yeah. It's like if the game of life were honest, because everybody makes it to the end of that game, and there should be some that end real quick. Damn. Sometimes that car should just go off the side. Just saying, Parker Brothers, whoever makes it. I would, I just think that this is, anytime you have a first year person, there's just a game you lose when you don't even really know what you're doing, how you're doing it, it's all out of control.

You can point to a first year coach every single time. There's at least one game where it's clear that, I don't know, somebody forgot to turn the headsets on. I mean, Les Miles had this with like a super talented roster at LSU in his first year. He had, okay, maybe he's a bad example, because Les still sometimes. those but you know what I'm saying there's a game um there's a game they're going to drop it like if you told me yeah they're going to drop a game to Colorado in year one yeah I'd buy it because that that kind of shit just happens if you doubt me if you doubt me Alabama under Nick Saban I think it does not help that I don't this hire in the hiring process because because

the coach of this USC team was hired pretty early as I recall uh yeah they didn't really they didn't really you know there were a lot of names floated and a lot of you know bigger name candidates talked about i don't really i mean the counterpoint is that they've tried the go get the big splashy up-and-coming name and that hasn't worked out i don't know that this the pendulum may have swung in a weirdly wrong direction here i look forward to finding out because USC fans will definitely be calm and patient about it Um, yeah, they'll be very, very calm and very, very patient and, um, they'll have to go root for the Rams. No, we already talked about that. Not happening.

Yeah. No, come on. I need some faith here in an NFL squad. Come on. They'll both win seven games or eight. Come on. You know that's true. That much we can guarantee. Go clippers. Um, hey, let's talk about another team with a coach that nobody can name. And I honestly don't know that anybody can do this. who Missouri who is your coach where did he come from that's Barry Adam from from Missou byway of Memphis Barry what wow very Odom who did I say see you said Barry Adam did I say Adam he did I said Adam who would have the last name Adam I'm in Odom very not even not even Barry Adams just Barry Adam mm-hmm a T-O-M like he's a Thomas Pension character Dr. Barry Atom.

Adam, man. Yeah, this is not... I want to tell you exactly what I know about Mizzou. And that's that if they came on last year, I threw my TV in a lake. Did Mizzu low-key had the weirdest year of anybody last year? Well, did they threaten to boycott a game? They threatened to boycott a game. Their promising young starting quarterback got suspended,

kicked off the team on and off. They played one of the ugliest games the year against Yukon. Then they followed it with an uglier game. And they played ten of the other ugliest games as well. Georgia. And then at the end of the season, despite all of this, of course, they lose Gary Pinkle, their longtime head coach leaving for health reasons, which was shocking and unexpected.

And then they get the Nebraska offer of, hey, turns out we have some cancellations. We're going down the guest list for the wedding here. You're welcome to come, and they said, now we're good. Now, our five and seven ass is going to stay home because we don't want to put on nice shoes. Yeah, that is my favorite thing that happened last year.

Missouri, just saying no thanks to a bowl game. Nope. It's just declining more football. Missouri declining to play Georgia State. in the cure bowl, which is basically where they would have gone. We talked about it, and we agreed that this was best, that we have a DNR for Missouri football this year.

That's the best part. Like, hey, you know, this cancer is treatable. Nah. No. Which Gary Pinkel's cancer is treatable. I just made that joke and then realize their coach was on because he had cancer. It's staying in.

People will never shame. That's fine. At least palms. Still too hairy to hide. This is the show where we delete the factual names of coaches but leave in Spencer's cancer jokes. Yeah. Yeah, yeah, yeah. We're good.

Why do you listen to us? Yeah. Oh, God. Oh, God. The DNR is a good one, too, because really, Mizzou just was like, no, I can pull the plug on this whole thing. So I guess my question is, does last year tell us anything about 2016? We want to end up a column, after column, after column saying, yeah. Like, it wasn't like, it wasn't like Mizzou was like, let's do, let's be together and let's have more of this thing we create it.

Nope. Nope. Bye. I respect that a lot. That's like a soccer move. You know, like, soccer and soccer managers and players, like, when they quit or when they protest, the despair is so clear in a way that it isn't in a lot of sports, right? Like, managers just quit. Amongst the other crazy things that happened to Mizzu that I didn't mention, one of their best defensive plays.

players almost died in a car accident and missed the whole season. And meanwhile, the story in the SEC was, some people don't want to keep Les Miles, but then they changed their mind. Like that, that was big news because it was LSU. Meanwhile, Missouri was accidentally burning down its own barn, and everybody was like, no, man, less Miles. He stepped in cow poop again.

Let's talk about that. That's relevant. We'd rather discuss this than anything your football team is even thinking about doing. So, preview. So last year, Missouri scored, I think,

roughly six points. Yeah, Missouri finished next to last in the country in Pointsburg. And that was with a coaching staff that had a long record of producing good offenses in previous years.

Yeah. Now they're taken over by, I believe, a former linebacker, which is usually a real kick in the pants for the offense. we just want to protect the ball so are we saying they're going to score five points this year

five point seven are they going to average i know i want to be clear i did not mean average five point i mean in a game at some point they will score five point seven points well they do they do they do play at south carolina so that's a that's a five point seven point game okay i feel like Every team plays Will Mustchamp because I just like pointing out to the two of you that Will Mustchamp is on schedules as he appears. That's great. It's wonderful for him. I'm very excited to see him succeed.

Mizzou at West Virginia. How that happened. Yeah, that's a – this Missouri schedule is littered with road trips you might regret. Two more in town. Two Baton Rouge. At West Virginia, at LSU, at Florida, at North Carolina, Atlantic C. Does this not look like the weirdest college visitation schedule ever? Yeah, this is basically like, oh, my SAT scores did not come in the way I thought they would.

We've got to plan some weird trips. Have you thought about any place with a timber sports team? Can you swing an axon? There are a scholarship for that. What about a rifle team? I'm going to majoring in auto theft. Do you want a riflery, scholars? And are you not, are you in Eliswold to join the army because of some things in your past?

West Virginia, they win the, uh, the, the, the, the riflery, the NCAA riflery, they win that, like, every year. Yeah. Their mascot, which as you expect. Which as you expect. Their mascot is a man shooting things. Their mascot has a gun. And not in a fun way. Not in like the fun cartoonish way.

He has, he has like, he has like, this is, this is, these are my woods, gun. Am I being detained? He says. He's like, he's, he's, he's sort of like a two real laurax. I speak for these trees. And they said, your ass needs to turn around. I need to see Warren. What are your, what are your, what are your thoughts on taxes and sovereignty?

Well, I have a few. If you got time. That you do. I will say this. Missou, you get to play Eastern Michigan. So I got one guaranteed. ego-boosting slaughter. Hey, I'll give you another Delaware State.

Sure. Yeah, by the way, is this the schedule where you don't, is this the schedule where you just don't fault them for scheduling any of these? You're like, yeah, stack up on that. Get Delaware State. I mean, you potentially, you potentially do because these were probably scheduled when Missouri was good and going to the C.C. Championships. We ignore all that.

Okay, that's fine. Never mind. I end up by trying to hear all that. These schedules, they fill them out in February, I believe. Okay. Yep. Yep, babe, yep. They say, hey, it was free.

Delaware State steps up. Yeah, I have no idea what to make of this team. This schedule, none of that. MTSU could whip your ass. Yeah, sure. That could happen. If you can't score points, MTSU could come in and easily beat you. It wouldn't even, honestly, like, that's not a surprise.

here. I don't see a game on here that if nothing much changes from last year that they can change. I know that there was a lot going on last year. I mean, by definition, a lot will change from last year. If it doesn't, if it doesn't, you hit a gypsy with your car. So the home road splits are pretty favorable for the most part. If you give them EMU and Delaware State, that's two. If you give them Mitsu, that's three. You get UK and very. You can, Vanderbilt at home. You should win at least one of those. Is that fair?

You better win both of those. Yeah, okay. So now we're up to five. And then Georgia, Arkansas. You spring something on somebody elsewhere, and you're in a bowl. Okay. I mean, South Carolina on the road, that could be a win. West Virginia, you know, I don't think is such a complete product at this point that we would be shocked if they,

disaster would not be shocking from them. Yeah, I think a bowl game is potentially reachable, but I just, I don't know what this team is. I don't know who they are. I don't think they know. Oh, they have a good defensive line. Sure. You can always say that about Mizzou, whether you know anything or not. They have Charles Harris.

He's a good end, and we'll just assume the rest is good because, hey, it always is. Okay. But I, six and six seems fine to me. That might seem bold, but. any any record between nine and three and three and nine seems fine to me it really does i don't care what we pick so and six and six is to grow in the middle of that so i'm fine with it but i don't know anything uh i'm just going to go ahead five and seven feels like five it feels like five and seventeen but will they take this year they take the bowl trip

yeah this year they'll take it man they need practice right Hey, man, hey. We're building. This is a building year. I will tell you, though, the end of that schedule, the, like, I kind of think maybe, like, if South Carolina really, like, puts out the plate full of booty that they could put out this year, right? Then you're looking at, like, they might win that. That could be competitive. Sure. They'll beat Vandy. That's going to be a rock fight. Just a terrible rock fight.

Oh, and then they have to play. their last two games they have to play Tennessee and Arkansas Arkansas is just going to sit on them until they cry. That's November Arkansas as we recall over the last two years Bert only gets more

and more powerful as the season goes along and he gains momentum. By late November Arkansas is just at full supreme just it's like a pallet of Jimmy John's dropped on your head. Remember they're

a team of mass It takes a while to get them moving. But once they do, they have inertia. I think if you're in Missouri, you have two goals this year. One is official. It's just sort of a rebuild, build for the future, blah-b-de-blah, blah, blah, try to make a bowl, the things that sound good in a breast conference. That's fine. Your unofficial goal, fuck somebody else's year up.

The advantage of having this schedule where you do play a real interesting road schedule and you play some teams late in the season that may be contending for. something whether it's a bull bed themselves whether it's something higher than that just try to ruin somebody's day this year and that would be worth it just to be able to say to tennessee guess what you're boycott in the playoff wow oh man can you think of something like like more crippling though if you wanted to do the happiest possible alignment of the stars for missou it is this it is to absolutely ruin tennessee season and like to take Tennessee's in like when Tennessee is like just almost in first place because of some incredibly mediocre SEC East rolling out and screwing up every available opportunity for

narrative clarity again and again and again and again and almost having it and then dropping a game to a crap in the zoo team in kneeling I can't believe yeah I can't believe you said that on the day Pat Summitt died you son of a bitch why are you gonna bring something good clean and wholesome and wonderful into this podcast that's true Pat Sommet never had anything thing to do with Tennessee football. Don't put that on her. Don't blame her. Well, no, Peyton did say he came back his senior year because of Pat Summitt.

You want story time here? Yeah, do it. A little story time. Okay, when Kiffin left, complete power vacuum in terms of recruiting visits coming in, among the people who took over those recruiting visits, despite her busy schedule, Pat Summitt, she helped out with recruiting visits to the University of Tennessee when Kiffin left. We can't talk about this. So did Bruce Pearl, which if you want the most, if you want the best football recruiting trip ever, it's the one that Bruce Pearl takes you on.

We can't talk about this too long because I am legitimately broken up about Pat Summit. So we have to move on now. I'm glad to have feelings on this podcast. Hey, let's stay in the SEC East Boys. That's where all the action is. Speaking of, we can talk about, if you want to talk about total lack of. motion. Here we go. Orja? No, no.

We're talking about some exciting team, maybe? No, we're not. No, stop. No? Stop. Here, I'll tell you what. We're going to talk about a team led to its best season in school history and its third best season in school history by Bear Bryant. Well, that's got to be Alabama, but that's not in Kentucky. You sent him a bitch. You must be talking about Maryland. See, see, Bear Bryant is such a wonderful man that he traveled.

the South before he got to Alabama and built up teams just to raise the Crimson Tides profile. He understood the value of building a community and not just a mansion. And yes, Alabama is the mansion in this community, but it's about property values, and that's a neighborhood thing. And this team is the basketball court by the neighborhood pool. Yeah. It's real nice, too. We just resurfaced it.

don't ask where the money came from Kentucky Worldwide West Hey let's play a fun game How many teams has Kentucky beat in November Since Mark Stoops got to Lexington Hmm It's only been a couple years so

So again let's rephrase the question How many? How many teams? Sure Zero I'll say I'll say zero Yeah it's not zero I'm going to let you guess again.

One. One is such a good guess, but can you name the one? Hell no. Kentucky beat, well, it wasn't Florida. Woo, wasn't Florida. No, and they don't play in November, so. Hang the banner. The answer is Charlotte.

Charlotte. Charlotte. The expansion franchise. I mean, I mean, I guess that's of the FBS schools. would be in Alabama State in 2013. Yeah, this is a team that has a pattern. The pattern is bad based on the last two years. The pattern is, start out strong and look like you're turning the corner.

And hey, hey, bowl game, Missy, buddy, we're going to come find you. Oh, no! And then you turn the corner, but, God damn it, there's a cliff. It's a very, it's a very wily coyote corner. Oh, no, I painted it on to the tunnel. The rock, why didn't it turn into a tunnel? The Revenant starring Mark Stoves Not everything is the Revenant, God damn it

Everything is the Revenant Everything bad Not everything bad is the Revenant Trash beard However the Revenant is everything bad It is all squares All squares are rectangles Not all rectangles are squares thing

You're right And that is also the path Traveled by Kentucky on these many corners They take three lefts and then they're just going backward. Is that there are two left? Yeah, that's what it is. That feels straight.

Yeah. Because, like, last year did they get out to 5-0 or something like that? And then I just remember Kentucky fans yelling at me. You don't have Kentucky in a ball? I think they went, I think they went 4-1. And I know this because, because, Spencer, how long has it been since Kentucky beat Florida? I think we're at 20.

Are we at 17 years, 22 years, something like that? Boy, I can't. I think it's 20. I think we're at 22, actually. Okay, I think, I'm going to double- That sounds about right. I want to say, I want to say it was like, yeah, I think it's 22 years. It's a long time.

It's, I'm going to double-check this because I don't. Do, do, I'm going to edit all this out to sound crisp. No, we don't do that. We don't, we don't. The current win streak? 29 games. 29. 29.

So you're going for 30. We're going for the mortgage, baby. We don't pay off that mortgage. Wow. What kind of chump-ass terms you're working with, son? Yeah. This was, they lost this game last year, 14 to 9. They lost this game in 2014, 36 to 30 in a very specious triple overtime game

with where Jeff Driscoll benefited from, probably a miscall, but whatever, he still lost. They lost it 24 to 7. I mean, I can keep going, but the Kentucky 4th. Fans aren't listening anymore, so I won't. Yeah. Now, I will say, you want to say nice things? Sure. They got a good offensive coordinator.

They got Eddie Grant. They have a good offensive coordinator. They have a potentially good quarterback in Drew Barker, who was something like the number six quarterback in his recruiting class in 2014. Yeah. You know, they have a quarterback who's also his name is Gunner Oak. They have a running back who's nicknamed Boom. Yeah, no. Boom Williams is fun.

Yeah. I like boom a lot. Also, do you know that his partner in the backfield is? Yeah. SEC, all-name team, first team, first vote. Unanimous pig, Jojo Kemp. Boom and Jojo. That is, Jojo and Boom is definitely like a R&B group from 1992 that didn't quite make it.

Regional only. They were, dude, they were so big at the state fair. Yeah. Kentucky was the region. Kentucky's finest R&B group. That's fine. Some place where you can still do real well still and mix tapes. The good news is the schedule's a little more balanced this year for Kentucky.

It's not all the easy games up front and the cake and the struggle on the back. The bad news is part of that is that you play Alabama on the road October 1st. So cool. Yeah, that's who you play. pull out of the West. Congratulations. They also pulled Mississippi State, not exactly the prettiest pull. That the game which was on

CBS only two years ago. Yeah. Yeah. I don't remind you. That was a Saturday Spotlight game just two years ago. Never forget. I would also give you this that they don't have any linebackers. It's really really not good when you're going to be playing some of these teams

without a single linebacker, particularly when you're looking at like, I don't know, you know, Georgia. Alabama. Some teams are just going to like to run the ball in Tennessee. Even Southern Miss is not like as... Florida, Louisville. It's just...

Yeah, I mean, you could lose the Southern Miss. You could lose the Southern Miss at home in week one. That could happen. That's not the same Southern Miss team. Granted, they did lose their head coach, but they showed that they weren't nearly the dregs they used to be. Southern Miss is a little two or three years in the valley. that's pretty much over.

So you could lose to Southern Miss. Let's do this one game by game. I'm just going to ask you both. You just say win, loss. Ready? Southern Miss, go. Loss. Jesus.

I'm such a pessimist, man. Jason? Jason? I'll say win. Okay. Yeah. All right. At Florida.

Loss. Yep. Spencer is saying that loss. This is a loss. I'm not even asking. New Mexico State, I assume we're going to give them that win. Sure. So they're either two and one or one and two. South Carolina at home. I have this as a loss. I remember that because I changed it just a couple days ago. Okay, Spencer. I'm going to go ahead and say that this is a win. Okay, so they're back to two and two on both years, at Alabama loss. Two and three, Vanderbilt at home.

I like that we didn't even entertain that. No, no, there's, there's, there's, I, I, I swear to God, if Kentucky, if Kentucky beats Alabama on the road, I will go to, I will go to a Kentucky game of, of anyone's choice and sing the national anthem. It's right to God. Two and three, Vanderbilt at home. Oh, that's a win. Fandy's awful. They're real bad. Jason's not sure. I mean, I don't, what is Kentucky good at? I know Vanderbilt should have an okay defense. What Kentucky should have an okay offense?

Yeah. I don't care. It's in Lexington, win, sure. Okay, three and three. Mississippi State at home. You skipped one. Buy week. By week, the classic Kentucky win.

Isn't, is that around Midnight Madness? Yeah, probably. That's a win. Mississippi State at home. They're powering up. Right. Now Kentucky's at full strength for the rivalry. All right.

After Coach Cal's appeared in Fast and Furious Nine, they have Mississippi State at home. That's a loss for Kentucky. I know Mississippi State allegedly doesn't have shit this year. I don't care. That's a loss. Jason? I'll say a win.

Okay. Four and three, three, and four. At Missouri. Lost. Okay. Back's in more and more. Georgia at home. Awesome.

Four and five at Tennessee. Super Gigantor loss. Yeah, super gigantor loss. Four and six, Austin P. at home. Win. Five and six. And we get to the end of the season. They have to meet Louisville on the road to get bowl eligible.

Will they do it? Spencer Hall. Oh, sir. Jason Kirk. Just a spiteful, disgusting loss in Papa Hans. Cardinal Stadium, like, you're going to lose by, like, 12, but it'll be so much worse. Put them down for 5 and 7. No, this will be like 1912.

Put them down for 5 and 7. Y'all got, y'all took different paths. It was fun to watch. One took the high road, and Spencer, you took the low road. But all roads lead to 5 and 7 in Lexington. All roads lead to the elite 8. oh god we still got two teams to preview just pick just pick one cal or oklahoma state i don't care terrible time yeah this is our most southern podcast leisurely

just sipping these these USC takes from a mason jar we cured them for over three hours okay said y'all want to talk about USC and we said well listen i'll tell you who the real ufc is your savior crassed that's who let's talk about let's just talk about cow let's just talk about super quick

hi here's my cow hot take you got better three years in a row so did Jared golf Jared golf's gone now and he didn't get you above eight wins I don't feel great about you Yeah. It's going to be bad. Yeah. Because people will say...

Oh, but Jake Spaviddle's here. Because you have to do this. Cal generally pulls in so little talent that if they have a quarterback that people notice, you could just assume that his own value over replacement player, right? It's got to be immense.

Like if a Cal quarterback gets you to seven wins, oh, man. That's impressive. Can either of you name a player on Cal's roster? No. I can't do it I can name one a true freshman

Demetius Robertson A wide receiver Was he the one who took forever to commit He was the one who ended up signing in Like May Because why not When you're a five star wide receiver You do what you want

Because Kirby Smart's already losing recruits Good Yeah Kirby Smart failed to secure the borders And it lost Is hemorrhaging talent All across the country Are you trying to say are you trying to say that a Nick Saban defense,

a Nick Saban assistant is having problems recruiting offensive talent? Hmm. Concerning. Concerning, some would say. Because he recruited, he kept a quarterback, and that's a big difference. Yeah,

I mean, they start out in Sydney. That's fun. They play. Yeah. The first half of the schedule is mostly like games that you're going to probably half watch, but not care about.

I think, you know, the Texas game you'll probably watch just because you'll do it out of morbid curiosity, the Hawaii games in Australia. You have to watch the Hawaii thing. The other of these, you'll learn about them. You'll see them on the ticket. Cal Texas, that ending will be, that game will end in a vine.

Right. That's all you need to know. Yeah, so maybe you're talking about a Cal team that's got three, maybe even four, wins after the first half of the season. Four and two. Wow, that's generous from a Stanford fan. Oh, I believe that Stanford makes other teams great, just by proximity.

Uh-huh. Uh-huh. But then the back half of the schedule, oh, death and woe, await you here. Man. You get to play. Possibly the Pack 12, six best teams all in a row. Yep. Yep, without a break.

one of them And if Utah's not in that mix You do play them earlier Yeah No I 4 and 8 I don't care Anything as long as it's low

Can I give you versus Here's the fun fun fact Against USC Stamford UCLA and Oregon What is Sunny Dyke's record Zero and everything Zero for 12 son I think on my board

I have Cal at 2 in 10. Wow. That's... So you're saying they're not going... Hold on. You're saying they're going to be, I assume, Hawaii and San Diego State. Well...

Or are you saying they dropped the Hawaii game? So you're going to beat Hawaii. Oh, then they drop... Okay. I like them dropping the Hawaii game in Sydney first. San Diego State's pretty good, and you're going there. Okay. California is a big state, so, you know, it's not the other side of the world, but that's a little trip.

You beat Oregon State. Oregon State's got nothing. Yeah, Oregon State's nothing. You beat Hawaii in Oregon State. And you celebrate the fact that you have a five-star on the roster. Sunny Dykes goes to Houston, and you, I don't know. In my mind, it's not even the university up. He just leaves like, yeah, I'm going to go live. I'm just going to go live in Houston now. I'm getting Astro's season tickets.

I need to get some cheap real estate and gain 35 pounds. I'm going to move to Houston. I love James Harden. He doesn't play defense either. Perfect. That kind of town. Exactly. What do you give them, Spencer?

Man, I'm going to be a little more generous. I'm going to say three and nine, but they aren't. I mean, you should show me one piece of free candy that they pull. out of this pinata. I don't eat any, yeah. Three and nine, split it. That's fine. Oh, man. And now, let's talk about

the nastiest nod. I have no hot take on this team. Oklahoma State looks, I honestly would not be shocked if they did exactly the same thing they did last year, where they rip off a bunch of wins to start the year, in part because they play almost no one of

serious talent. I mean, Pitt is not a bad team. Baylor, well, and Texas, sure, maybe. And then they're going to end the year with TCU and Oklahoma both on the road.

So I wouldn't be shocked to see them do the same thing where they rack up a bunch of wins and everybody's like, oh, don't forget about Oklahoma State. And then they just lay two eggs at the end of the season. I feel like this year, if they were to start seven and oh or whatever that would that would that would you'd have to take notice of that because beating pit this year that's going to be uh worth worth worth worth mention at least winning at baylor

uh winning at baylor uh sure it's still at baylor beating texas sure everyone beats texas but again texas is going nine and three this year as we've established a confident a confident nine and three mind i never sign up for this i will never i think this this year if you go if you If you start five and no or whatever, people won't laugh at you. Last year they kind of bullshitted their way to six and no one cared for good reason because obviously it was very deceptive. The only road game in that first six game stretch is the game at Baylor. Which even though we haven't previewed Baylor, so yeah.

So it's all home games. If we keep putting it off, maybe we just won't. The numbers just refuse to talk about Baylor. appreciate them doing that. Thank you random Twitter followers who just pick numbers when I ask you, too. You are the ones that make this go. Yeah, I mean, they return

a bunch of starters. The bad side of that is that their running attack and their offensive line is kind of garbage. They were ninth in the Big 12 last year in rushing yards per game. Yeah, and there's not much to point to that Russian game really sort of improving. Yeah.

Mason Rudolph is a person. He seems fine yeah i mean the people get excited about mason rudolph to me i don't know man you do this shit for some years and you just that's a big 12 quarterback i don't know yeah it's sure 5 000 yards will it matter i don't know yeah rudolph mason mason rudoff doesn't matter that's one of those is a serial killer but that's fine he does he does he does pass the quarterback test of having the name that goes forward and backward that's that's how they that's how they pick them right It makes sense either way.

Just like Sir Han, Sirhan, Sir Ham. Hey, a legendary quarterback. Yeah, boy, I had like nine jokes off that, and I'm going to cut all of them off in my head. Wow, good job. Yeah, thanks. This is just a team that they'll be productive. They'll get production out of their quarterback.

They'll play just enough defense, right? sometimes a little more than that they're pretty good at home they have a soft schedule i mean mike gundy this is the amazing thing to me mike gundy still coach like after years and years and years of i don't know he's going to go somewhere else we are sitting here looking at mike gundy as like is he he's not the longest tenured big 12 coach but is he second if you take out bill snider sort of like vacation who um i think he's the second longest tendered big 12 coach That's probably right. I mean, I could look it up, and I will.

It's a fact now. Lock it down, I guess. I mean, I guess, well, no. Are we counting Gary Patterson since they weren't in the Big 12 the whole time? Nope. Nope. You don't count Gary. Then, yeah.

We would have if we weren't cherry picking evidence. It's him, and then you have to go all the way. Then you have to go all the way back to Bill Snyder's second time on the job. everybody started over he doesn't count either no no no but i'm saying if you just count that time um yeah it's uh there's a lot of turnover in the big 12 except at oklahoma state did he fuck up not leaving he might have he might have missed his window maybe he comes back around again because you know hey maybe bailer moves out the way a little bit now he's also made a lot of money in the process so maybe

Bob Stoops goes away at some point Oklahoma dips for a few years maybe Oklahoma State's got another window coming sure if you say so I mean oh that's a maybe I mean what's the worst they could have is stick around and get paid

$3 million a year I think that's I think that's that's probably what he's thinking right he's probably thinking you know how much money because really how much money has he spent in Stillwater, Oklahoma?

Not a lot. I mean, houses cost, what, $75 there? I do hope, I do, I do hope that T. Boone has a set up like a, like a, like a mining operation or something, and he only gets paid in company store credit, and he can only buy Oklahoma State Polo, like, he can only get Oklahoma State polos and shit. He gets very little cash. Yeah, and, and, and, and hair product, that's probably just, oil that stuff he uses. It's his literal oil. Yeah. He doesn't know where else to put it.

Just every... So it guts the damn much oil. Just rub it on myself every day.