Shutdown Fullcast - Shutdown Fullcast 4.29: Too Many People In The Pool

Episode Date: August 17, 2016

The fire code gets tossed out the window on this episode, with special guests Bill Connelly (Podcast Ain't Played Nobody), Dan Rubenstein (The Solid Verbal), Bud Elliott (Tomahawk Nation), and Brian Floyd (Lost in the Upside Down). This ragtag crew is faced with the task of: - Figuring out what the hell we did with those season predictions, and why - Selecting the most generic FBS school - Threatening to murder turn of the century German teens - Identifying the worst conference game of 2016 - Picking the teams that will go from great to trash and vice versa this season - Failing to know the best Van Morrison song It's...surprisingly coherent? Sure, let's go with that. Learn more about your ad choices. Visit megaphone.fm/adchoices Learn more about your ad choices. Visit podcastchoices.com/adchoices

Welcome to the shutdown fullcast. Tonight's edition of the Internet's least prepared college football podcast, which we are, I think, slightly more prepared tonight because we have more people on. Therefore, even if they did marginal preparation, like calling into the show, that's still more preparation than you've got right now. Oh, oh, everyone into the pool. Lifeguards, give up. It's caddy day.

everyone into the pool uh joining me the editor of every day should be saturday and editor at large at sp nation joining me ryan nanny as usual say hi ryan i'm in the booth in new york the air conditioning is off in the building right now i might turn up the heat i might have to take off my shirt at some point this sucks the things i do for you all beats necessarily sexy right now that is so good and you're Keeping it green. From Kennesaw, Georgia, connected miraculously with even more miraculous sound quality. Jason Kirk. Yo, how crystal clear am I sounding this week, by the way?

Sounding like a mandatory gun owner. With the kind of clarity that only the fear of your fellow man can bring, aka Kennesaw, Georgia. Mm-hmm, mm-hmm, yeah, yeah. They're sending the Atlanta Braves nearby. It's like a million miles away from. from where the Braves were totally different totally different it's at least three miles

away basically the same same continent at least crazy racist up there the people who jumped in the pool today our guests first from let's see are you still in Columbia

Missouri I absolutely am he said that like you were like how many years do you have left on your prison sentence he was like still Still 28 months to go. I'm going to put some money on your account. Get yourself nice at the commissary, Bill. Well, look at this.

Bill Connolly, the most dogged evangelist for advanced statistics in college football, nay, perhaps football as a whole, in Columbia, Missouri. You outlasted Gary Pinkle. Do you feel, seriously, do you feel, like Morgan Freeman in the Shawshank Redemption, right? Like, suck at other inmates, I'm still here. Well, it's weird because the head coach is now Barry Odom, who was like a junior linebacker when I was a freshman

and who I liked because he kicked the ass of my high school team in, like, 1994. So it feels like he's been here longer even though he left. So I think I'm okay. I'm at least at worst second in command here. Bill is joining us tonight to tell us how wrong we are about things. And that is a theme tonight, by the way. theme of the show will be looking back at all the previews we did and realizing how wrong we already are we will have an automated segment from bud elliott from the buttron 5,000

it turns out by the way the event of our own envisioned history for the next four months is towards hatreddom deep hatred them because we may that's so different for this podcast we know we may have set a new standard for this because we may not have actually filled all of the slots necessary to field bowl teams like that's how down we are on every single football team in the nation not named uh texas or stamford or apparently ls u yeah or we'll get there we'll get calm down bill we have another guests introduce we do we do joining us uh a fellow a fellow inmate this time uh incarcerated in new york city and unable to leave anytime soon for his sunny native home

of Southern California. The dumbest man in the world forever leaving. Dan Rubinsteed. Hi, Dan. Heaven help the foes of Washington. They're trembling at the feet of mighty Washington. How's it going, fellas? You're right that you don't train already? Oh, my God. I'm so ready.

I'm also in a room. I'm not in the booth that Ryan is in. Ryan's still in the office. I am in my apartment and I have like a very small like enclave kind of room. But it is not ventilated at all, and I have taken my shirt off while recording podcasts in here. Yeah, I've seen Dan's recording room. It looks like the, it looks, it's not the way he's got it set up, but if you were watching, like, a British murder mystery and they searched, they searched the suspect's house. This is the room, this is the windowless room that they would open and find, like, jars full of human hands in there.

Dan has one of those rooms. The small albino child, he kept there for years. Yeah. Don't talk about Tyne that way. That would be Ty Heldon Brandt, Dan's co-host on the solid verbal. The actual, like the second actual real podcast besides this Travis and mockery that we put together every single week. You're going to say that right in front of Bill? I know.

I'm right here, guys. I said the second, the other one being. I can't play nobody. Yeah. We're the third mutant child of the family. You know, the one that was conceived when you lived in Oak Ridge near the lab. I know Stephen Godfrey, too much of a coward to join us tonight to defend his shit talking about Stanford. Godfrey, I know where you are, and I will find you.

I think we can claim that Ty and Godfrey are here, and, like, they weren't able to take their shirts off, so our mics can't pick them up, apparently. Sure. Like, I think we could claim all sorts of people are here. Who could prove it wrong? Brian Floyd is joining us. Brian Floyd is always on the mic. What? What now?

Yeah, we have Zach Lowe. NBA expert Zach Lowe. Gary Patterson is here with us tonight. J.J. Wreck. Yep. Michelle Obama. Happy to be. Michelle Branch as well.

Man, that's amazing. Have you guys listened to other college football podcast outside of the SB Nation universe? We're fine. We're fine. Either. Yeah, sure. Yeah, we're fine.

I know. We're totally fine. I listen to, and I like the two of them very much, Bruce Feldman and Stuart Mandel's most recent show. The Audible, yeah. The Audible on Fox Sports. There are two great people and great writers. At the end of the show, Bruce just started asking Stu what drugs he's done. Which, as you imagine, was met with a bunch of, no. It was wonderful. A very limited selection I imagine there. You can't say I've ever gotten wet. This is, I won't ask Bill Connolly that because I don't think it's fair to make him admit that he's, you know, smoked freebase cocaine in public. This reminds me of, Ryan, do you remember a while back when you and I came up with like, it was, it was like a script for a sitcom about the solid verbal?

Do you remember this? This was a couple years ago. it was like Dan incredulous that Ty had never eaten a banana Yeah Oh right yes Yeah it's a whole series

Are you serious You have never eaten a banana And Ty's like Dan I've never had the inclination Never come around Just never seen the point of banana Love a good apple damn

Don't see the need for bananas Exotic Exotic Does this exist somewhere Who knows what Google docket gets in but yeah i gotta tell you best bread for a breakfast sandwich saltine crackers they're there for you every time it was like it was like a one page pitch i don't think we got to i don't think we got it to nbc in time you know for production but one of these days we'll get it pilot in yeah god that's

the most wonderful thing so we're gonna we're gonna talk we're gonna break in a little bit here for bud's first segment uh before we do i want to jump in with our first question of the night uh this comes from at alison de jong de yong i don't know how to pronounce it i'm sorry uh she said would y'all mind promoting some louisiana flood recovery resources like at second harvest gna on the show uh no we would not mind that at all because i looked at this up uh right before we started podcasting 30 000 people have had to be rescued in the flooding going on in louisiana right now and without i like i am absolutely not going to go in into any naval-gazing media discourse here.

But if you don't know somebody who lives in the affected part of Louisiana, which right now is almost half of the parishes in the state, you might not be aware that there's massive terrible flooding going on there, something like 40,000 homes impacted by it. One of our contributors for the LSU blog, Billy Gamilla, yeah, his house flooded, the area where he's. he lives hasn't flooded in 35 years. So

if you can donate anything to help the people affected by the Louisiana floods, that would be awesome. This is a time when they could really, really use your help more than ever. We will, and by the way, with all of our posts on this, we will include links

to relevant, verified, and legitimate charities for these things. That's important. You want to make sure you know who you're giving your money to, but you know that we will include that also know that it's this is one of those things

where the area affected Louisiana means a lot I think just in general culturally but also particularly to this subculture because there is college football and yes then there is college football in the south and then there is college football in Louisiana which is one of those

places where it occupies in an ordinately large role in people's spiritual emotional and personal lives. So we obviously care a lot about it. We hope you do too. And even if you don't, you should give money anyway just to convince people that you're a good person. I will say there is one tweet from a Weather Channel person that is meant to mostly emphasize how much rain fell on parts of Louisiana, but it also serves as inadvertent stunting. And this is why. It's a graph that shows the rain that Watson, Louisiana got over the course of four days.

they got 31.39 inches Los Angeles since January 2012 has had 29.18 inches. So on the one hand, no. Louisiana did not need that much rain in four days. On the other hand, what's up, L.A.? You shit. Ryan, have you been to a game in Baton Rouge?

No, I have not. I'm a failure. It is. So I've been to a game. One, it was extraordinary. And two, it rained like crazy when I went and rain in Louisiana is no joke. It was like I ran under a tree before my dumb L.A. head was like, hey, isn't this where lightning strikes?

And then ran away from the tree. But it was like the raindrops were like 10 times the size of dumbass L.A. raindrops is ridiculous. I went to Florida this past weekend. This is how you know that I spent some considerable time in the state. I went walking on the beach and a thunderstorm was kind of, a thunderstorm was moving not over but kind of half adjacent right we were just getting like

a little margin of it on the beach and I remember thinking this oh that's an acceptable amount of lightning to take a walk in you're so dumb no I was right I didn't get struck by lightning oh okay well shit the system works you done it again um let's talk college football

bill I've sent you the list Jason has put together of all of our picks Which I should point out, we've just made in random groupings. We didn't actually think about how these all looked together on the paper. Of the teams, of the records we predicted, which one do you look at and think, God, my coworkers are so, so, so, so dumb? They all look fantastic. No, Bill, don't lie to us.

Yes. Well, I mean, you have Alabama losing twice, which in the regular season, which doesn't make, I can't really comprehend. hand to that one. That one doesn't seem like something that could actually happen. So that one certainly caught me off guard. Utah winning eight games. I'm not real sure about this year. But I've gotten yelled at it enough by Utah fans. So that looks great too. That's it. We did everything else right? Perfect. I like not having to tuttut you about Iowa because you just gave a 1-0 record there that

saved me the energy and the breath. And I really hope you're right about Washington State. That's the other team that's yelled at me a lot this offseason. So I hope they go 9 and 3, and they're, you know, totally awesome. Texas is probably not going 9 and 3. I told you assholes. How many times have I told you they're not? Oh, thank you, Bill. I've never felt so vindicated.

Bill, did you not see what the throws their freshman quarterback made in Spring Ball? And I feel weird because, like, I'm also talking up Georgia, and they also probably have a freshman quarterback. but oh no yeah huh that one out route in the spring game and like that video was my whole timeline for a week i did i did like a couple days ago or whatever a week i don't know i don't know how time works but um uh when it turned out that what was his name uh swoops is still challenging for the starting job there and everybody like texas fans and non-texas fans all went uh at the same time because that's a big red flag waving right there.

If Swoops isn't better, or if Swoops is better, then, yeah, you're not going nine to three. Now, with Swoops was the, were there like two stories at once, or am I getting the headlines confused, where it's like, we might move on the wide receiver. He might be the starting quarterback. Was it like these two things at once? I heard went to receiver. Okay. Okay.

Swips I didn't hear about going to receiver. I mean, Texas, there are just so many good quarterbacks that I cannot keep them all. That's true. Yeah, it's hard. I like to think that that was. Texas's version of lighting up the bat signal, even if you know Batman's not coming, just to sort of like scare off

criminals. Just be like, oh, you never know. There's a signal. It might be swoops time. Get off the streets, y'all. Stay safe. This is my favorite thing, Bill, by the way, that I believe you were right about everything, and I do not doubt any of it. Save

this. That statistically you could look at Georgia and not see the unstatistical, ignorant human waste that will be this year and a guy in his first year on the job learning with the candy like this is such a bad situation because there's a freshman quarterback over here and then you have an experienced quarterback who's nowhere near as good as the freshman over here right and and he's just not going to be able to reconcile potential versus boring stability it's just not and i know it's like oh

nick chubb okay let me explain to you the voodoo legend of georgia it doesn't matter what that shiny name is, okay? They're going to blow it. You won the lottery. You'll be broke by October. I realize what I'm doing when I was talking myself into Georgia. It didn't feel good. It didn't feel right. But maybe it's that's the bargaining going on. I don't want to just hand everything to Tennessee and I don't think Florida is going to do it.

So it must be Georgia. I mean, what if- And Nick Chubb? Nick Chubb's awesome. Nick Chubb, they were averaging like eight yards of play with Schottinheimer as their offensive coordinator last year. He's going to get hurt again in like the second game. but until then, I can believe that they can, you know, challenge. All right.

This is the part in the podcast where, as we mentioned, Bud Elliott recorded some audio for us earlier. Bud has an SEC team you should watch out for, from a betting perspective for the national championship. Is it Georgia? I don't know. You have to listen to the next however many seconds this is. Go, go, go, go, go.

Ultimately, we know that for about the past two decades, if you want to win a national title, at least since the advent of the BCS, you need to have brought in more four and five-star recruits than two and three stars in the previous year. This has held up remarkably well. Thank you, Alabama, by the way, for just taking the best recruits

and not trading them like Mac Brown did and actually winning lots of national titles with them. Big fan of Nick Saving, for that reason, also in Meyer, and basically anybody who actually signs the top recruits and doesn't just, you know, crash the plane into the mountain. Anyway, your teams that fit that criteria this year,

and the probably only teams I would actually consider betting on for the national title, Alabama, Ohio State, LSU, Notre Dame, Florida State, Michigan, Auburn, UCLA, actually, Georgia, Texas A&M, and Clemson. Texas mercifully falls off this list just barely this year, and I'm sure they'll be back on it next year, maybe with Charlie Strong, maybe with somebody else, but, yeah, having them in that group the last couple of years was kind of embarrassing.

So luckily, they're at the 49% mark. Just missed it. Thank God. I think any of those teams is a pretty good pick for the national title. If you want to know the next couple teams that fall just below that mark, Texas, Tennessee at 45, Florida at 39,

Ole Miss at 39, Miami at 38. USC is also technically in that list that counts, but they took a real, real small class in 13 and a pretty small one in 14. So they only have 76 signies over the last four years. Not really up to par

there, but if you're going on a percentage basis, you do have to include them. Then you look at some teams like a Michigan State, if you're into the Spartans, that kind of thing, 28%. Good enough to reach the playoffs. They certainly did it last year. Good to win?

I'm not so sure. I wrote last year, I think that the playoff is actually going to make it easier to contend for the national title for non-elite recruiters, but I actually think it'll make it harder to win because once you get in, chances are you're going to have to win two games against elite recruiters consecutively as opposed to just one back in the old BCS system. TCU is at 12%. Oklahoma, by the way, is at 36%. Honestly, nobody in the Big 12, unless you want to be able to. to count Texas has recruited at a national championship level, but I think TCU and Oklahoma certainly could at least make the playoff.

Now, if you take that list of teams that meet the criteria to win the national title, and then you cross-check it with a list of the national title odds, it really reads kind of one-for-one for a lot of it. Alabama 1st, Ohio State, 2nd, Clemson, Ford State, LSU, Michigan. Oklahoma's there at 12-1. I wouldn't bet that with your money. Tennessee at 14 to 1. Again, Tennessee, I think, is going to be much improved.

I actually like Tennessee this year, despite the fact they're coached by Botts Jones and Josh Jobs' quarterback reading against ranked teams is very similar to what Trey on Harris as was against ranked teams, so not super promising. But I like the rest of their roster enough that I do actually like Tennessee this year, just not for the national title.

Notre Dame at 22 to 1, USC at 23. to 1, TCU at 35 to 1. If you're of the mind that you might want to try and hedge, TCU at 35 to 1 might not be a bad play if you think they can get through this thing undefeated. Their schedule's not that crazy. Washington at 35 to 1, no. Iowa at 41, maybe at 1401.

Stanford, if you think they can go through the Pack 12, I guess, and are really into the whole player retention and development. And if you like David Shaw, the deployment aspects, of college football. But if you're going purely off, what is the most talented team I can get at super long odds rationale? Texas A&M at 75 to 1,

and not really something I want to take, but that is a whole lot of talent on that team that will be playing on Sundays and a coach who knows where he'll be coaching next year. At 75 to 1, crazier things have happened, I guess. Those are the same odds as like a Miami or an Oklahoma State.

and I don't think anybody thinks those teams who won the national title either, but at least Texas A&M has recruited at the bare minimum standard in order to reach that mark over the last four seasons. Ultimately, college football is kind of the most boring, predictable sport in some ways

and that everybody else outside of a very small group is just playing for second. They have like the most repeat, most often national champions of really any sport out there and the vast majority of the college football teams in D1 are not going to win a national title ever. So we still watch because it's fun because we want to see how are all the teams

that actually do recruit at that level? How are they going to screw that up? How is Florida State going to top getting a kick return from the best kicker in their program's history for a touchdown on national television? How is Tennessee going to top those four crippling losses last year? How many shades of purple will Brian Kelly turn? I'll be watching.

Our next question comes from Christian Ashlock at Cashlock on Twitter. Nice. Who is most likely to do a Georgia Tech 2014-2015 this year? So going from three losses. I will. Last season. Wow. Holy show.

Like, Bill, why do you keep throwing yourself in front of this particular bus? because it can't hurt me anymore it's run over me too many times that's not how buses work what yeah sure it is eventually the bus takes so much damage that like you're the the bus is broken no that's only how it works in like side scrolling beat them up games no i'm i'm doom's day every time it hits me i can get stronger okay sure yeah yeah you heard it here first bill killed superman no like literally if the bus runs over you like a million times it's out of gas by the end right yeah i've survived

it it can't go anymore this was also the approach to stopping uh derrick henry for a lot of teams this is also uh what iowa did against christian mcalfrey speaking of iowa he's he's more of a mini cooper dan which team is likely to do this switch from three losses to three to three wins um i'm looking at all like the 10 plus win teams. And we should point out, Georgia Tech did this by virtue of being hellaciously injured a lot of the year. It wasn't just a simple, oh, you played above your weight

class. They had some help from kind mother fate. So Jim Grobe has the advantage of wake experience of turning a team that's good into not so good. So Murr won 10 wins, had 10 wins last year.

I'm looking at Power 5 teams. I mean, it's not going to be Northwestern, though they did win 10 games. I'm going to say Wisconsin could win sub-5 games with their schedule this year. Yeah, it's rough. With them going 10 and 3 last year. It's brutal. Navy won more than 10 games, and they lost, like, their best player ever. Okay.

I'm more curious about, like, other direction who won sub-5 games. Okay. Let's play that. We don't really do that on this particular program, but that's why I'm just going to go through them and then we're going to toss it to Bill. So obviously Chris Ash is doing special things for Rutgers. No, I have no idea who could.

Georgia Tech. Georgia Tech is going to do the NFC South thing, basically. Yeah, also Georgia Tech is going to do this because Paul Johnson is in the fine like he's in the fine year of that cycle where he gets everyone wanting to fire him everyone realizes they don't have enough money to fire him and then he rebounds the next year this is the rebound year where he becomes palatable again um speaking of georgia tech i would like to point out our georgia tech blog did a nice little piece on georgia tech's uniforms

they uh they pointed out who else has a russell athletic user at this point it's it's a very thin list uh i believe the harlem globetrotters are on that list yeah it's like some d3 schools they lost the hbs the the the national little league whatever like little league baseball is still russell athletic uh yeah let's see they've got um three other fbss programs they have arena football league they still have little league baseball uh so good for them um the other college teams that they have are the Ohio Bobcats and Western Kentucky

Sharp jerseys by the way. Yeah, no, they've done a fine job of Western Kentucky. Yeah, um, cool. Can I give you two other teams that were a sub five that I could actually pick for a rebound? Yeah. To get

at least six wins. Okay. And build laugh, laugh out loud when I say this, Colorado. Oh, I hope. I wish. I really hope so. No, but I really hope so. We're saying hope.

For the record, we picked them to go five and seven, so we were, we are optimistic that they can get close. Yeah, that's a step. They'll get close. And Virginia, can I sell Virginia on being like a 500 team? They went four, they went four and eight last year. They were bad. Yeah, I mean, you know, Kaiser. sucks their soul out in the second week of the season.

But, no, I mean, Bronco's a good coach. He got overshadowed by all the other good coaches, the ACC hired. But he's, you know, that could happen. Sure. Who do they have? Oh, they have, they're at Oregon, at Bob Diaco's beautiful Yukon Huskies. That's not bad. Their schedule's fine.

Has it, hasn't Jason kind of named South Carolina as his team that's going to make, not quite this big of a leap, but sort of do this? Well, I'm kind of being branded as like, South Carolina mega homer at this point. Like I have them going from three and nine to six and six and like double the win total. I hear about it on Twitter like, oh, you're the South Carolina guy. I feel like I'm going to be around town and like, hey, that's a guy who said must champs going to a ball. Get him.

It's like, I mean, I think they'll be a little bit better. Are they starting like a high school junior quarterback? Was that a thing I saw? For sure, he's fresh. He's got new ideas. Hasn't taken the hits. Like, he can really enhance their digital media strategy because he knows all about the stuff that the kids are into.

Listen, you know what? He's got a good ability to read patterns on the Snapchats. Anytime you can have an intern, play quarterback. Man, you're saving money. Next question. This comes from Kyra Geithman. At Kyra Nicole on Twitter. Which Big 12 expansion candidate would you most trust

to send back in time to kill someone. Now, when we say someone, do we mean like baby Hitler? Man, what do they always make it, baby Hitler? Like, why couldn't it be like teen Hitler? Teen, shitty, shitty middle schooler Hitler? Shitty, gross, smelly, bad hair, middle schooler Hitler, who's like, no, I don't want to sit down. Like, yeah, that'd be way easier to kill them.

Yeah, that sounds like... Adorable baby Hitler. I think the problem is you would encounter Hitler with, like, eight other middle schoolers, and you'd be like, well, got to be safe, and you'd kill him. all. Damn, Brian? No, not you.

You would do that. Not me, you would. No, no, sure. No, I'm not the one who would kill eight middle schoolers for fun and just brought it up randomly. Second person. I mean, I don't really think teen Hitler had a whole lot of friends, so I don't think that sounds like a problem. Are you kidding me?

His whole thing was being popular, even though he shouldn't have been. Hmm. So, so like super, how is this guy so popular? Yeah, right. Yeah, I'm just going to put it out there. Easiest Hitler to kill is 12-year-old Hitler. Like in the sub-18-year-old Hitler's that 12-year-old Hitler. That's the single-war stage?

Yeah, yeah, that's like 11 or 12. You can pick one of the two. Plus some of the Hitlerness has already started to crystallize at that point. Yeah, he's giving you sass. Hitler's sass. Yeah, that was everybody's problem with Hitler. Too sassy. Too sassy for me.

So much. Just so much back talk. Oh, what a potty mouth that Hitler is. He's disrespectful to his elders. So the obvious answer that jumps out is Air Force. But the problem is it depends on when you're sending them back in time. I always had this problem with the Back to the Future series because, like, if you go too far back in time in a DeLorean, they don't speak English. And you're fucked at that point.

They'll just kill you on site. So I don't think Air Force is necessarily the right answer to this of the Big 12 candidate. I might go with UNLV, the latest bizarre Big 12 expansion candidate, just because they already live in sort of a nonsensical human wasteland that shouldn't exist. And I think everybody in Las Vegas either has or has executed or has a plan for how they would get away with a murder. I got an easy candidate right now at BYU Wow Yeah for a couple of reasons

One multiple languages Two History of Slaughter You said it not me We love you Matt Brown Houston would do anything To get into the Big 12 right now Houston might actually be sending people

Back in time right now Like some billionaire Texan donor Like yeah I got a time machine and like he's used it to do nothing but buy liquor cheap what do you do i bring cigarettes from the 60s and i sell them here i buy for i buy forever stamps in 1999 why do you think they smoke lucky strikes in the south side in houston i sell them there i think Colorado state

well they're too chill to kill anybody though they're pretty chill but i think you get a little bit of mountain people in there no no they're they're like borderline west coast so all you have to do is be like, yo, he said something was bad. That's so harsh at judgmental, bro. Makes me want to kill you. Are you in my personal space? I do think, East

Carolina, I'll throw in there as well. You go up to an ECU fan and you say, like, hey man, this dude in 1917 tweeted that ECU shouldn't be in the Big 12. I'll kill his ass. Next thing you know, that first, if Twitter wasn't in a bit, doesn't matter.

I think the answer is I was my father. It was my father. And you might say, you might say, you might say Iowa State is already in the Big 12. First of all, Iowa State cannot afford to take that for granted. Because, like, everyone agrees Iowa State, like, shouldn't be in the Big 12. So, like, maybe it should really enhance its resume by going back in time and killing Teen Hitler, Iowa State.

Why didn't you do that, Iowa State? Temple's a good example, too, because they're sort of the college football program that's been to prison and is not going to. going back. So they're like, been to the jail in the Eagle Stadium. They've been evicted. What are you going to do?

I've been homeless. Next question. This comes from young GM Rambus at Illegal Screens. What will be the least watchable conference game of 2016? Woo. Moose, South Carolina. No, man, we've got Joss Heipel now. We're good.

Oh, oh, God. And remember, we also play Vanderbilt. And remember, South Carolina plays Vanderbilt. These are all terrible. And remember the Boston College has eight conference games to play. Nine. Nine. What are we talking about?

I grabbed some spring rolls. Oh, sorry. Hey, Dan. Dan, we're asking what the least watchable conference game of 2016 will be. We've talked about Boston College and Vanderbilt and Missouri a lot. um major conference game least watchable Kansas Iowa State might be pretty harsh I know I see I think that's going to be festive

where is that game zero doesn't matter no not really anything about it's probably it's probably at a Jerry World I think yeah in front of in front of a roaring hundred that will be on a channel we've never heard of that will be like the one game that's on like oh this is on route sports west-southwest that's on FS4 Rutgers and

Rutgers and Maryland no man I'm on the Rutgers schedule right now but they both have like they have like offenses and stuff that they're gonna try banner bill South Carolina on like the first day of the season is really bad especially it's it's in Nashville like so you're gonna have that rust and bad yeah so Godfrey's not around so you're allowed to talk about Nashville like that yeah let's talk some shit about nashville i mean i mean that's right i've been waited i've been waited so long this will be the drunken hangover day after bachelor party of games we're just like oh why do oh why did we do why did i agree to do this i hate chad you know in

western movies there are scenes where like the chuck wagon rolls up real early in the morning and all the like miners and everybody kind of get out with half their pants on like oh hey the chili's here that's what it's going to look like this team's getting out like half dressed like oh hold on get my other leg in my pants and they're singing a song yeah they're kind of they're kind of like toothless and haggard that's going to be both of these teams in the opening game how did south carolina end up i feel like we ask this every year how did south carolina end up like opening the sport every year like the NFL hall of fame game it's like always the packers or whatever or like thanksgiving is always the lions well it's remember our miserable garbage season opens with south carolina every year remember it's it's a tradition for south carolina to go first in a miss firing effort and you remember and you remember who the coach was for so many of these games steve scurrier who wanted to have a saturday free for golf oh oh hell we can play on thursday oh shoot i can get 36 in then this is perfect yeah can we play what about wednesday can we make it wednesday at like 10 in the morning

how about we get we get week two in on the on that saturday then can i can i can i can i break in, by the way, with some completely unverified message board news from the last week. This was from a message board, a Michigan message board. I believe it was Mgo Blue.

This was a comment. I interviewed a woman yesterday who previously served as a personal assistant to Steve Spurrier. All right. Okay. Yeah. That's the header. Posted on August 12th.

Posted out August 12th. Key takeaways. One, Spurrier rarely wore either a shirt or shoes when in the football office. Correct. Yes. Believe 100%. Yeah. I'm going to save number two because it's real good. Okay.

Number three, which will be number two here. On at least one instance, he had his assistant take pictures of himself doing push-ups to send to his wife. But also believe 1,000. I totally bleep that. I do that. If I had an assistant, I would do that. All right. Now you take those down to Walgreens and get them developed, you hear?

Don't do that one. Makes my arm look fat. Okay. That's just lighting. But then, the point, which is my favorite, it is the pearl and this delicious oyster. When Spurrier didn't want to perform some obligation, meet with administrators, go to an alumni event, etc. he would simply point to his Heisman trophy and say, he says I don't have to go.

I'm slain. I hope Steve Spruyer has driven with the Heisman trophy, and when he gets pulled over, he switches seats with it, and he's like, no, man, he was the one going 55 and 30. Not me. You can drive in the HOV lane if you have a Heism.

Next question. Ah, this is going to be Dark one. I'm sorry. This comes from Jameson. So Darkland and the one about killing teenagers. Okay. Kind of. Eight of them.

Eight of them in addition to Teen Hitler. Rumoredly. Also, they hung out with Teen Hitler. They can't be that good of kids. At Sideout Parr wants to know. Apropos of Fournette, who I believe is in a walking boot as of today. The costliest injury, you can recall, in terms of depriving a neutral fan of a highly anticipated individual or team

season. And he suggests Dennis Dixon and Marcus Lattimore. Dennis Dixon was the answer I was going to go for this. Yeah. Dennis Dixon, you can't say his name without going, oh, afterwards. Yeah. Because he was playing that game on a torn ACL. Yeah. Like had a 40-yard touchdown run on a torn ACL.

And then completely blew it. Yeah. And that one makes me mad. That one makes me mad just thinking about it. Like, Lattimore almost, like, I mean, I don't think Lattimore is like, like, it sucks that that happened for Lattimore, but it kind of felt like, wow, man, that's just an act of God. With Dixon, and I was just like, that's unfair. Yeah, I mean, the 07 season, for all the craziness that went on that season, we're going to owned it at that point. Like, it was theirs, and then that happened.

I was at the UCLA game, like, three weeks later in L.A. and I think they lost something like 12 nothing or 13 nothing and it was Jonathan Stewart and a bunch of backups and I remember with like six minutes left they were down like 8 nothing something that wasn't like normally insurmountable and my girlfriend at the time was like we should probably just go right and I was just like shut up you shut up we will not go

and that's what the Dennis Dixon entry did to me um yeah I guess that's Todd Gurley coming back from suspension and then getting hurt in a stupid game against Auburn. I mean, by that point, it had not... Yeah, what was the record at the time? The season was basically already lost in terms of what George's expectations were at that point.

That one sucked. That one sucked a lot. Yeah, I think it has to be Dennis Dixon, though, right now. That's the worst one I can remember, like, short term, right? And by short term, I mean, like, last 15. years you could go back it was it was made so much worse by just how bad they were after that injury like that was and they had everything and then they had absolutely nothing after that i i think i think maybe we can look it might be bud time bud time uh let's all right bud also

took a look at our picks he had some thoughts about them you're going to listen to bud talk about them right now jason kirk asked me to take a look at some of the picks made by the guys on the shutdown full cast and weigh in on them so The first thing that jumped out to me was that it looks like y'all only picked 40-something bowl teams from the Power 5, which would leave, I think, well over 40 spots for a group of five teams to play in bowl games, which is cool, but probably also a record by a pretty good margin. Going conference by conference, I kind of think the ACC is going to get 10 bowl teams.

have a hard time thinking Syracuse, Boston College, Wake, Duke, and Virginia all miss. I think 10 is probably more likely than 9, but it's hard to argue with the ACC picks. Clemson returns to Sean Watson and a loaded roster, Florida State returns a loaded roster, and now it doesn't have to have Sean McGuire be its quarterback. Both will be solid picks there in the Atlantic. I like those. Georgia Tech always plays well when nobody expects them to, so again, like that. that.

Big fan of the TCU pick in the Big 12. I don't really think anybody in the Big 12 has national championship quality roster, so if there are a bunch of non-elite recruiters there, why not go ahead and take TCU? No home of game is in Fort Worth. I like that.

And in the Big Ten, Michigan has kind of a cakewalk schedule, and they got Jim Harbaugh, and Ohio State is returning some of the fewest lettermen the country. Not too bad about that.

I can get on board with that. Maybe not 12 and 0, but maybe so. They really should go undefeated with this schedule, I have to think. I did like what you did in the Big Ten West there with everybody basically 6 and 6, Wisconsin, 7, and 5. The one thing I got to notice, though, here, I know some networks do put out really optimistic picks for every team with the hopes that the specific audience reading one team's picks doesn't overlap too much with the next team's picks and the next team's picks and so that if you were to maybe chart all of their previews,

they'd be betting over in Vegas at like a 90% clip, which is probably not realistic. I feel like you guys are kind of reverse on here, and I like it. This hating ass bud thing is extended now to the hate and ass shutdown full cast. Pretty cool here. obviously inspired by Hayden S. Spurrier. How many unders did y'all bet? I know in the ACC counted five, Big 12,

got three, Big Ten, got five, and actually stopped doing the research after that. But it looks like y'all were betting unders at about a 65% or 70% clip. I think there's maybe going to be more than one underfeated team and probably more than nine teams that win 10 games in a regular season. So this is going to be interesting to see.

overall, I like what you did, and have fun recording. Oh, but I got to add something else. Somebody in the SEC is going to go four and eight or three and nine. I don't think there's any way we have all these five and seven teams. Somebody's going to totally bottom out, and then somebody, I think probably Arkansas or Mississippi State is going to surprise a little bit, and maybe go that seven and five instead of the five and seven projection. All right

We're back with more questions Our guests have decided not to leave yet They're very dumb Oh, I'm about to, don't worry Okay, good Well, we're coming up on like 815 your time So you gotta go to bed

What time do you wake up, Bill? About 405 Wow Bill, it's only 505 Easter Bill, are you secretly a cop With like a weird shift This question comes from Pit Basketball Shouting

At N they stay there On Twitter Wow hang on how do you spell that I want to follow this account Pit Basketball shouting It is at At n underscore And then all one word

They stay there This sounds good Okay His question His or her question I should say Which is the most generic FBS team

the most so like a team that a network could do a show about and the NCAA wouldn't notice the copyright infringement I got it Eastern Michigan there is no competition they even made their field gray

they are the stock photo of college football they are the yeah the creative team FCS Northeast in real life I would have said Pitt had they not brought back

the Pitt script. Now I love them again, so I can't say Pitt. Pitt's doing something. Is there a memorable Fresno State game from the last post-Reggie Bush game? Oh, God. They were good that one year. Tim Derruder and Carr

when they ended up upsetting Boise, I believe it was. Oh, that sounds right. Yeah, that was a, that would know. That was a great game. So they've at least had one interesting thing happen. Maybe Tulsa. okay no you know what i notice about Tulsa like to put them i'm telling you like one single hair above completely nondescript all right maybe two single hairs because i can think of two things one there's the uh there's the storm warning flag on the side of the helmet and occasionally they have

the nice gold helmets which are kind of cool and two they have the most they have the loveliest stone on their bleachers like it's just it's really well done yeah oh wait it's an old school I'm going to go with FIU FIU just nothing to me just total blank slate might not even be a real school has has like a

a Panther logo that looks like it was stolen from a defunct minor league baseball team no no meaningful memories of FIU whatsoever they're my most generic team we've discussed this before but if I tell you that they're not in the ACC

is there a single sticky or memorable image thought or logo brand achievement player or moment for NC State besides a fat man getting up on a pole they they run out of a cave they um their fans are like I do remember I do remember three or four levels of message board rage beyond beyond replacement level I do remember check a motto because he'll He definitely had that, like, he was, he definitely had, he had boat muscles, yeah. Spencer likes to talk about boat muscles. Chuck Amato had boat muscles and boat, and boat sunglasses, for that matter. He did.

He had a boat face, too. He had a boat face. His hair was always, like, pushed back by the wind. Oh, yeah, I guarantee you, Chuck Amato, as NC State head coach, was wearing swimming trunks under his pants and was like, I got a kneeboard in the car. Let's hit the lake. Right after this game, I don't even care, man. I just want to tread. He's a lake people.

Like, if you live anywhere near a lake, there's a certain, like, genre of human. It's just lake people. Like, they're just always itching to gas up the boat. And you're like, they're always, like, really tan. They're, like, kind of stocky, not fat at all. No, no, but it's a beer. Sneaky dad's strong. Yeah, it's like beer strength.

Yeah, if I told you, NC State had gone seven and six for the last 13th straight years, you would just, you would believe me. Like, there's no way to really prove me wrong on that. You're like, I don't, I don't know that they didn't. You're like, how did Chuck Amato make his money? And you're like, he invested in Phil Rivers way back in the day. That paid off. That's it. That's it.

I just think, it's true. He went into his kid making business. Next question comes from Corbinet Smith at Corbinet Smith on Twitter. What's the best Van Morrison's song? Tupelo, Honey.

Spencer, is that correct? No. Okay. Dan, do you want to have a guess here? I have a lot of Van Morrison thoughts. I know, you know. You're very old. I like come running.

Okay? Yeah. Spencer, is that correct? No. No. Jason, do you have a guess? um which one's van morrison he's the brown-eyed girl guy oh uh that sure that one spencer is that i mean into the mystic is great is that correct

yeah god damn it okay all right i i i will just guess i don't i don't think this is right but i'm going to throw it in i'm going to say domino yeah spencer is that correct you were such a disappointment to me as a son what is the best fan Morrison song? It's Caravan, live from the last waltz. That's the best fan of Morrison song. That version of Caravan. That none of you know it is just, I'm so ashamed of all of you.

No, they're like sex that are acceptable. Into the Mystic is great, but it's too much of a wedding song. But yeah, Caravan's one of them. I'm okay with that. What weddings you go to? Are they playing Into the Mystic? Every wedding I go to, like, it's the straight, like, celebration, clap on the one and the three white people wedding music list.

like i my best friend uh is jewish he married as st louis irish irish catholic uh and it was amazing it was the it was the best wedding in ball time jason and spencer before we wrap this up i want you to look at our list here and i want you last chance are there any picks we have that you really really don't understand why we got there or how well in the in the very first week of doing this, which if anyone is listening to this point and still don't understand

what we did, we picked five teams at random each week and just pick records for them. And Georgia Tech was in that first bunch. And I think in hindsight... What on earth were we doing?

We have Georgia Tech at 10 and 2 winning the A.C. He got us! And I think if we had not done them first, we would not have arrived at that number. I think later on,

we fell into a everyone in six and six rhythm which is just that's a nice rhythm you don't really have to think all that hard but the younger versions of ourselves were just just seduced by paul johnson so so optimist yeah the he of the dark side yeah you know what i'm not backing off that 10 to two motherfuckers okay uh spencer is there anything you want to pump the brakes on that we did here um you know i'm real tempted to back off on texas nine and three no no no Stick with it. Just stick with it now. You won't regret it.

You know what? No, again, I'm not bowing. I'm not ready to be nice. I'm just going to go ahead. Texas 9 and 3. Because you know what? The rest of you are bastards. As for me, I will be going to Texas.

So yes, 9 and 3. If I have to look at one, I'm probably feeling less optimistic about UCLA, 9 and 3. Yeah, I don't know. You know what, I will revise Wisconsin down to. We have Wisconsin at 7 and 5. We'll get the Big 10 West.

We have everyone in the Big Ten West going like 6 and 6. But I'm not changing any of that. That sounds just about right. We have the Big Ten West. We have three teams at 6 and 6, produce 3 and 9. Iowa is 1 in O against Iowa State. That's it.

In Illinois, we chose not to discuss. Now Wisconsin is also moving down. They were 7 and 5. So let's just like take them to 5 and 7. with the division winner being 6 and 6. I'm okay with that. Nebraska wins, then loses the Big 10 title game, and it's bowl. Big 10 West champion, 6 and 8, Nebraska.

I would like to, you know, bowl team at 6 and 8. I would like to actually improve one if I could just rate them up because I just feel good about them. I think they're just a magnificent program, and I'm just more bullish on them than I was, particularly when I think about what Christian McCaffrey could do in his final year in college football. So I'm taking, I'm joining the internet's number one Stanford fan.

Yes! I will upgrade Stanford. Bout to your cardinal! Spencer, this raises two problems, one being this breaks our nine and three log jam in the Pac-12 north. Logs are made of trees, motherfucker. And also now, and also now, you've just said,

that Washington isn't going to win this division right in front of Dan Rubinstein. That's so embarrassing. It's tough because we are so negative that it's hard for me to upgrade any of these teams because, God, we're just, we're just hate... You know who I'd upgrade? I'd upgrade USC in the Pack 12. Okay. Seven and five seems low.

Yeah, I think they could go eight and four or nine and three. Yeah, I think that was partially a reflection of their schedule, which has got so much, so much pain potentially on it. But I think eight wins is not unreasonable. I will... Are you going to change a Pac-12 team? No, I'm not going to change a Pac-12 team. I will say I think maybe we are a little gun-shy on Auburn

just because they fell apart so badly last year. I think seven and five, I think that could be an eight-win team. I don't think that's impossible. I would... Don't go crazy. Bill, Eight wins for us is like most favored nation status. Have you seen this list?

It's true, man. We grade like a French professor, man. Oh, wow, you got six out of ten. That's actually pretty good. You're the prime minister now. Zuta, lor, you're going to the Outback Bowl. Another, I will also confess, I made Tennessee 10 and 2 because I really want them to have every expectation to live up to and fail. Yeah, that was very transparent.

So I was just looking at Tennessee. That's, man. And the local paper saying, is Josh Dobbs better than Tim Tebow? Like, that was like what somebody did. That was like what Fox Sports Knoxville, like, had a poll. Oh, yeah. Vince Young. I saw one against Vince Young, too.

Yeah. And it sort of seems like Tennessee is in a place. They have Virginia Tech Week 2 in Bristol. They've got like a tricky App State team to start the year. And it's not, it's just not a great schedule in the front half where if they lose one or two games, I feel like they could collapse under some pressure weight. I don't know.

You need to consider it, Dan. You need to consider it. Josh Dobes might be better than Tim Tebow. That's true. I don't necessarily think it's going to happen, but our Big Ten West smorgasbord of mediocre could absolutely be the SEC East this year. Could absolutely be a

bunch of teams that are good enough to beat each other, but inconsistently and they all just drag each other. It becomes basically one of those rat nests where they're all tied together by the tail and biting each other until there's only one big fat rat left. And that's how Kentucky wins the SEC East. I mean, just, you know, we do have to consider how good Josh Dobbs is. Just because his coaches don't trust him to throw a single like first and 10 play action bomb all year, that doesn't mean, you know, that he can't throw that pass and isn't,

doesn't have a quarterback's arm. He could be, he could be Vince Young. man, hypothetically. You know, you know, the disciples didn't always trust Jesus, didn't mean he didn't have powers. Before we go, we have one, first of all, does anybody else have any other last comments they want to make on our terrible predictions, any other observations, plugs you want, anything like that. Just the sexiest desire ever, the borderline erotic urge to turn the 6 and 6th Arkansas record into a bold 10 and 2 prediction that I will resist. I just do it man I want to do it

okay no no no no I'm sitting at a thrilling six and six okay okay uh bill anything else you want to add before we wrap up here Mazur's got Josh Hypo I just wanted to reinforce that again Bill you're saying that in a way that doesn't really

can you like blink twice if that means it's good or bad or what I have no idea what that means we're gonna we're winning games 12 10 this year instead of losing them 9-6 My God, what have you become? You sound like a Florida fan. What have you? Fuck you. Fuck you, Jason.

Typical South Carolina Homer, Jason Kirk. Talk your shit while you can. Dan Rubenstein, any other thoughts you want to add before we wrap up? No, but I like the fact that Bud earlier said Trevor Knight is a

reasonable bet if you're going to wage your money on the national championship. man. Scared money don't make money. Although I think Texas A&M is going to be super entertaining this year. Entertainment. They actually have seniors. They actually have seniors for like the first time in four years. I think entertaining is a good word for it.

And before I went on the Good Bull, our sister, Good Bull Hunting podcast, never been clicked. I did look at the Texas A&M roster and it is fun to go back and be like, oh yeah, they do have a bunch of guys that you thought, we're told we're going to be fucking awesome coming out of high. school they haven't done shit but they're still there uh jason you have the floor last before we give it to bud to talk about well i'll say i'll save that for surprise but you have the last word uh we have lSU at 11 and 1 that's an error um tigers everyone 12 and no fuck you all

oh yeah uh okay so last thing of the evening our last bud elliot segment he's here to talk to you about florida wildlife good night y'all as we spoke about on the last shutdown full Pythons in the Everglades are still a big thing, which is bad. If you go on my Twitter account at Tomahawk Nation, on Monday, I did retweet an account, which I have no idea if it's true or not. It looks like it probably is. A 17-foot python with 87 eggs was caught in Florida. And yeah, that's kind of scary.

Not a big fan of that. We also have Nile Crocodiles, apparently now in Florida, which is a new thing, a new threat. Ultimately, I hope that the crocodiles and the pythons in the Everglades can sort of wipe each other out, like Godzilla versus Ty, if you're editing this,

fill in that monster that Godzilla fought in one of those movies.