Shutdown Fullcast - Shutdown Fullcast 4.32: Week One Reviewed, or SEC TRASH

Episode Date: September 5, 2016

Remember that thing where SEC teams were going to start playing real teams to start the season, and not cupcake games against the overmatched dregs of FCS? THAT MAY HAVE BEEN A MISTAKE. Ryan, Jason, and Spencer review the first weekend of the season up until Sunday, which we do not cover because we recorded this early on Sunday, when Notre Dame lost to Texas. It would have been fun to talk about Notre Dame losing painfully in OT to a Texas team it beat by thirty points and more last year, but we did not have time to discuss how Notre Dame could not stop the offense of a team that last year lost a howler to Iowa State. Again, we did not discuss this hilarious failure by Notre Dame, a team whose disappearance into a crater or timefold or other deep hole opening into another dimension would diminish the overall value of college football and society at large by zero percent. We also did not discuss how ugly-ass the ugly-ass Under Armour shirts Notre Dame's staff had to wear on the sidelines. Static-ass ugly-ass 1992-lookin-ass shirts. So since we did not discuss that, we talk about the following instead: --How the SEC faceplanted so very badly on opening weekend --Why the team with the kicker with the longer hair will always win a game, i.e. why Mississippi State lost at home to South Alabama --A special breakout on whatever Kentucky did, which was bad even by the deplorable and intense standards of Kentucky-level failure --We don't even discuss Alabama because this is a football podcast not an avalanche report --How FCS teams beating FBS teams is a bad thing for your FBS team as long as your team isn't Washington State, which now will reel off nine straight wins and go to the Rose Bowl because this is a new tradition they have and you can't mess with tradition Learn more about your ad choices. Visit megaphone.fm/adchoices Learn more about your ad choices. Visit podcastchoices.com/adchoices

Welcome to the shutdown forecast. Listen, after several months of isolation, sadness, that's all done. We're done. The grand winter of summer, the off-season finished. We're after week one. We can safely say college football returned. And then with that, everything you'd forgotten about, i.e. misery. Sadness, shock, horror, and occasionally sparkly moments of joy.

harvest came early this year guess what it's nothing but beetles the beetles got into the crops bumper a bumper crop of bowl weevils for every cotton farmer in college football all that hard work you did in the planting season just

tending and carrying to the soil carefully planning out your plots of land just beetles everywhere yeah I don't think anyone coming out of this weekend there's maybe like seven teams maybe eight that are really happy with what they saw. Everyone else, guess what? You failed a fitness test. LSU,

LSU, you got a tractor full of fire ants. Great job. I mean, all this talk about farming, and yet it was the Big Ten West that surpassed all expectations. So, man, a salute to America's farmers. That's really the theme of this weekend, I think. As we all predicted, the Big Ten West, most dominant division in college football. Most talented, the highest paid coaches. The the dirtiest recruiting, the most lax academic standards, just the most desperate institutions for any and all football success, triumphing at last over the SEC West, which not much talent, you know, not a very talented region, not much money and fan passion, the coaches aren't paid very well, really more of a basketball division.

The Big Ten West is America's strategic cocaine reserve. People don't know that. Honestly, LSU just cares more about funding. It's many other scholarship sports. Football is just kind of there. You could have just stopped at funding, really, considering Louisiana. Wow. Let's see.

Is that three minutes before Ryan made it dark? Have we considered that Louisiana, the state of Louisiana paid LSU to take a dive? Like put a bunch of bets on Wisconsin and was like, all right, guys, This is the only way we're going to save the school system. Anyway, since we've already turned and made it dark, I thought we would just roll through with everything that... I don't think we've learned anything, because we're really not pro-learning on this podcast.

No, we're sort of just more about standing back, in awe, marveling at all of the anomalous behavior that we can see out of week one. Hey, let me just point this out. Remember how we wanted the SEC to start playing real games? season? Ever listen to us? Hey, I think I'm going to take up kite

surfing. Isn't that really dangerous SEC? No, I got this, bro. Listen. They can't even beat themselves. Vandy lost to Will Must champ. Listen, you say that, but Mississippi State was like, I'm just going to stay home, have a quiet cup of South Alabama. Oh, God. Oh, it's

everywhere. Oh, I'm just going to do a little Zumba. How can you injure yourself doing Zumba? A little home Zumba. Oh, oh, McGroin. McGroyd. Yeah. In Mississippi State fans, if they tried Zoom, though, it would not be very rhythmic, so to speak.

Or, you know, even if it were, probably be a little bit of it moving. Mississippi, it's one of our fattest states. That's how Stingray is going to capitalize on his YouTube fame. Just workout tapes. Okay. Yeah. This is how we started the Mule Strong movement. Mule Strong.

You ain't cut, but you. keep going. Yeah. Mississippi State, of course, is the program that suspended its five-star for one game, tried to get away with a chicken shit punishment for its

most talented player. And then it lost that game. It was the one-game punishment for its Cupcake game, and then you lost to that pastry. Cupcake had razor blades in it. A lot of people saw that, and the word they used was karma, which

it's not really a thing, but if it were, This is probably what it would look like. I don't think the kicker had anything to do with that particular administrative decision, but boy, did he help them lose that game? Hey, losing the cupcakes, a Mississippi tradition in a lot of ways. When your school hashtag is clang out, which by the way, I feel like shut down fullback, the short-lived YouTube program that no one remembers, I think we invented Clangah. I never, I never saw that until we started doing that.

And now, like, the school tweets it and everything. Anyway, clang out lost a little sound, clang. That was something. Yeah, clangom. It can mean a lot of different things. That's not for whom the goalpost tolls. Clangs. I didn't even think about that watching it.

I was just so aghast. You know, what can I say? South Alabama's a really good football team. I'll say the same thing whenever you're like, wow. It's got the word Alabama in it. Yeah. No, I mean, that's half the power right there. No shame in losing to Alabama.

You took Alabama to the wire. Also, one kicker had long hair and the other didn't. Guess which one hit the upper right, the one without the long hair? It's a good weekend for kickers, man. Penn State's 270-pound massive refrigerator of a kicker. Got a glory shot in in his game. Just flattened some poor Matt kicker Turner, who he outweighed by 70 pounds. Monson's kicker had a nice day as well.

Didn't dance as much as I would have preferred, but... Nearly as Husky also. Nearly, he slimmed down a little bit. He's about 240 now, but still has the power to go three for three against LSU in a game where those were precious points. Yeah, you needed those. He slimmed down in that way that suggests that he's cut out one and only one specific thing. Or he's like, yeah, I just don't eat ice cream anymore.

But everything else on the day. I cut out the Fago. I think he slimmed down in that, oh, I'm drinking Diet Coke, so sure I'll have another plate. Right. Kind of way. You can do that when you're like 20. When you're like, man, I'm a little fat.

I should cut down on one thing and get fit. And I'll lose 20 pounds. I mean, that same thing's true when you get older. It's just food. You're like, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah. Yeah, yeah. When you're 20, it's like, oh, I think I'll cut down on second pizza.

You know, and once you're the age of people like Spencer and myself, it's, I think I'm going to cut down on dinner. Life. It's gone. There's no dinner. It's like I treat myself to dinner once a week. You mean like a big dinner? No. What's your cheap meal, dinner? I have a salad on Wednesdays.

Speaking of starvation, I want to go through everything that the SEC managed to. excrete out in the form of football this weekend. Okay. Now the most excusable one to me is Tennessee only beating App State by seven points because one, congratulations, Tennessee. You won a close game with Mike to board his offensive

coordinator and Bush Jones' head coach. Great job. You would have lost this game a year ago. Also, App State, actually they're a really good football team. They are. I'm not even joking. This is like not me joking at all. South Carolina played Vandibild. I had to go 11 and 1, so. Yeah, yeah, we did actually.

like that's their good on track South Carolina Bandy this was kind of an atrocity as you know we start this sport by watching South Carolina play football mostly as a warning after getting really excited

it's good to dial back expectations and dialing back expectations is watching two SEC teams struggle to score 23 points combined in a game 1310 is going to be the score for every South Carolina game they're just going to be one for the other right now South Carolina

by far the best as he see East team. Wow, that's not true. That's not true. Check the standings, Ryan. Not true. Listen, I don't like Georgia, but that's not true. Take a look at the standings. All right, we'll skip over Alabama.

If you want to give South Carolina top two in the east, they'll give you that. But even I cannot put them over Georgia right now. I don't know I'm going to put them over Georgia because I really don't alright tied let's compromise and say South Carolina is as good as Georgia

well let's see let's see let's remember that if Georgia gets a big win to open the season they have to lose to South Carolina so well yeah I think I think that breaks the tie that makes this loss more palatable okay okay okay we'll go ahead and bump Georgia up

no dogs speaking of Georgia Georgia beats North Carolina 33 24 kind of a weird game Mark, I mean, Nick Chob is the reason they won. That's good. They're real smart. They're just going to run him a lot. But nothing on Georgia really inspires me a whole lot, particularly a quarterback.

Yeah, they kept switching quarterbacks. It started Grayson Lambert, and I like this right at kickoff. Spencer tweeted, you know, so let's start the timer for when Lambert loses his job. And it's going to be, you know, it's going to be under an hour. It was 50 minutes exactly when the freshman Eason took. over for Lambert. And then they kept switching them. And then with four minutes to go, everyone says, okay, Easton's the future. He made a 51-yard pass that somebody pointed out what would have been longer than any of George's completions of all of last season. And then they benched him and put

in Lambert. Luckily, cooler heads prevailed and Lambert's only job was handing it off to Nick Chubb for the winning touchdown, but, or the, you know, the icing touchdown. But, yeah, I don't, eh, I don't know, man. If, you know, Lord help us, if Nick us being the state if Chubb gets hurt again because it's going to be you know tensions are going to be high around here I do love I do love by the way that they're running in this toss play with Georgia if you watched they run a toss play and the toss play is one of my favorite things to watch in football because it's never very apparent whether you have it blocked properly as a defense until it's far too late so

it's this great game of peekaboo where you go wow a lot of guys running looks like North Carolina no they don't have it they don't like just still. Like, like, it's like, solid wall of people, solid wall of people. Yeah. It sure our move. And sure our move. Most encouraging thing for Georgia, offensive line looked great. They did. Defense. You got some holes. Mitch Trubisky looked terrible for North Carolina. Just terrible.

Yeah. Yeah. I kind of think you're like, this is a double-edged sword because I thought, wow, if Georgia faces a competent QB, they're probably going to give up some points and some yards. And then I thought, well, they're in the SEC East, so... No worries. Just fast sea of nothing, that's the answer there. Yeah, speaking of this, we'll keep going. Florida, a dominating 24-7 win over Massachusetts.

We can't get out of our own way on the offensive line. It's bad. It felt like it was 10 to 7 for about four days. This game was... This is one of those games where it's just on the scoreboard so long that it feels like, do I need to refresh my screen? What's going on here? ESPN, the app's broken.

Hey, hey, you got a floater. Like, do we need to actually, like, scrape this thing? Good God, it's still 10 to 7? Like, it's going to burn a hole in my screen. It's going to be, you know, like when you leave the Nintendo on, when you're 8 years old, and they say, oh, you're going to freeze the TV forever. And you're like, well, it's my high scores. I want it up there.

But no, this is not a high score. This is 10. Hey, for the season, for the season, it's a high score. Sure. Sure, by the way, that 24, you go, oh man, that's three TDs and a field goal. Nope. There's a two-point conversion in there. Start working backwards. Good news is Florida. We got a kicker. Also, two good, solid personal fouls. At least two, maybe three if you count the face mask. Yeah, this is on brand. Florida back. Florida back. Florida back. Look like a must champ team. I'm going to go slip my wrist right after we record this. I'm professional and not during the podcast. Additionally, here's what else the SEC managed to try it out. out there and it gets worse there's the aforementioned in south alabama beating mississippi state 2120

in a more appropriately named than ever starkville bleakville mazoo man missou got the eleventhner mezoo did it i'm not even gonna hate on it they did it yeah like 11 points for missou i ain't really even mad at that okay good job mazou that's better but last year that would have been 10 we give you a half century you're going to be putting up huge numbers offensively 10% improvement if that's a stock man you're buying exactly you got to think more like an NBA and less like a football coach I'm demonstrating value and growth mazoo West Virginia beats them by the way just in case you wonder what conference didn't beat the SEC yesterday I'm by the 12 by the way when when West Virginia went to the big 12 which school were they replacing it would have been

Missou. So, good job, SEC. You definitely picked the right school. Sweet. We can keep rolling through this, like, Arkansas, barely surviving Louisiana Tech. But honestly, that's like, what, one of the five best results for the SEC this weekend?

How'd that go last? That's probably the best September game in Bilema, Arkansas history. How'd that go last year, by the way? Fair. Real fair. What do we think about the A&ML, UCLA? game? Yeah, that's right.

A&M's got a defense, except for the last three minutes. They have a decent, like Trevor Knight looks serviceable at quarterback. Mm-hmm. Yeah, it's fine. I mean, it's the kind of, it's definitely the kind of win that I think, I wouldn't be surprised if we look back on it at the end of the season, be like, well, yeah, UCLA won seven and five. Who gives a shit?

Yeah. Yeah, that's a good point. This is probably the most, well, that didn't matter. Right. Big win of the season. I mean, A&M beat number 15 Arizona State to start the year last year. And how much did that mean? How much did that mean in December?

You're making that up. And remember we all said, wow, man, with Miles Garrett and everybody, that defense is mean. This is exactly what everybody's saying against another Pac-12 team. And the Pac-12 might have been the only conference that looked worse than the SEC yesterday in terms of overall camera-ready presentation because they had a terrible night, and we're totally willing to talk about that, too. I just wanted to make sure that, as, you know,

about SEC homers, we immediately self-debased here before we even started. It was bad, y'all. It was real bad. I can join in on that. Kennesaw State lost, so. I'm right there with y'all. Do we qualify Auburn losing to Clemson is bad or just weird?

I think I'm going to go bad here because, The defense, we thought the defense would be good. Holding Clemson and 19 points is probably a little better than expected, but when you sign up for the Gus Malzahn experience, you are not signing up for 1913. Well, especially because Auburn had three turnovers in this game, and every one of them took place inside Clemson's 40-yard line. Like, there is definitely an element of Auburn had a lot of chances to win this game

and fuck them up because the offense didn't know what the hell it was doing. Dabo tried as hard as he could to keep Auburn in the final minute in case anyone missed this Dabo had a chance to there were like four different ways to put the game away the decision was let's run out of bounds like yeah yeah the decision on fourth and four up six first down first down effectively ends the game they're in field goal range so that more or less ends the game because it'll put it out of reach and what was his reasoning, Jason? I've seen crazy things happen. He was afraid of having a kick blocked.

And run back. Not just blocked and run back. Which to be fair when you're playing Auburn, yeah, sure. You got to watch out for, you know, madness might strike. Can I give you the number? Can I give you the number, the substantial number that illustrates everything we're talking about in terms of a Gus Malzon offense not being able to move the ball? because this is a run-first offense.

Yeah, here we go. They ran the ball 41 times. They had 87 total yards rushing. That's 2.1 yards per carry. 2.1. Three different people lined up a quarterback in this game for Auburn? Mm-hmm. Jesus.

I mean... I think that part is like, you know, the long-term concern with Auburn is what exactly is the plan at quarterback? Basically since, oh, I don't know, 2008 or 2000. nine or so. And even during this game, it's kind of a microcosm of that because there's even, there's not even a plan on who's the quarterback from drive to drive. I mean, it was even worse than Georgia as far as, what are we going for here? What's the idea? No one knows. Yeah, it's, um, it's super bad right now there. And this is not, you look at a lot of these

situations and you go, uh, they'll have the same thing in common, either replacing a quarterback or inability to recruit a quarterback or develop a quarterback or even recognize what one is by touch, smell, taste, feel, right? Like an animal picking up something that it's not quite sure whether it's food or not. That's the SEC right now. There's a lot of things that they have in common across all of these teams struggling, and the one where I look at it and go,

man, they're never going to figure this out and it'll really hurt them. Like, LSU, they're never going to realize. what a quarterback is as long as Les Miles as coach. That's just... And as long as Cam Cameron's offensive coordinator. Nope. Not until Jimbo comes back as OC. I sincerely hope

that at the end of this season, LSU keeps less Miles, fires Cam Cameron, hires Jimbo as OC, and pays him $2 million more a year than less Miles makes. Remember when you fire... $35 million

coaching staff. When you fire... When you fire less miles, you fire three people in state of Louisiana. That's the governor, the head coach, the football team, and acting CEO of Raisin Cain's Chicken Fingers. I said it on Twitter earlier. I think LSU's whole goal for the rest of the season should be to beat one SEC West team so badly that that team has to fire their coach immediately thereafter. Which team is that going to be? I went back to North.

Auburn's a good candidate. Mississippi State's a good candidate, although I later backtracked thanks to discussion with somebody else and said, it won't be the SEC West, it'll be Oklahoma in a bowl game. They just fire stoops. Oh, God. Hey. After he loses the interim coach Cam Cameron. Hey, Ryan, you had two things you want to discuss.

I want to reverse your order. Why don't we discuss a stoops? A pair of them. I mean, this Oklahoma game, Oklahoma had two running backs in this game who each averaged at least five yards a carry. The problem, how many carries did Joe Mixon and Samadjai P. Ryan get? Six apiece.

Six. On first down, Oklahoma actually did a really good job holding Houston. And Houston, it felt like all game Houston was in second and nine, third and eighth. third and 12, whatever, and then they just get 20 yards easy. They had so many big plays in this game where they just, Greg Ward would find somebody obscenely open down the middle, along the sideline, run for a long distance, either him or Duke Catalan. And it was, they just missed tackles.

They were out of position. Like, this defense doesn't look good. It doesn't look disciplined, and it doesn't look, it doesn't look like, It can do enough to beat you for three straight downs. And that sucks. Let me put this all in context. One, that this is a problem that Mike Stoop's former players have mentioned with his defense. On Twitter, from the NFL where they are now playing.

Publicly. That's happened on several occasions. During games. During games. Gerald McCoy, Gerald McCoy, a defensive tackle in the NFL who played for Oklahoma, crying Jordan himself holding a trophy when he played for Oklahoma. That happened yesterday.

So if you want to know if there's an internal crisis of confidence with the people who came through the program, yeah, it's there. It might not be the majority opinion yet, but it's totally there, too, that Houston quarterback, Greg Ward, Jr., not real great on first and second down, but you really don't have to be if you're 9 of 11 on third down,

Which he was. He was nine for 11 for 147 yards on third down. Why don't we make the whole plane out of third down? That's not to a power five quarterback. I know that he's really, really good. But if I just black boxed it for you and said, hey, a non-power five quarterback went nine for 11 for 147 on third down against you, you're dead.

I kind of wish that Houston in the fourth quarter had, started taking me like early in the fourth quarter had taken knees on first and second just because they wanted to face oklahoma third and long and note that we have said we have gotten all this way through this game and we haven't even mentioned the fact that bob stoop's repeated every mistake from the kick six all of them the time out the complete failure to account for somebody standing in the end zone ready to run back the kick the response that, well, you know, he can usually make it from that distance, which has nothing to do with the fact that you didn't actually tell you. Like, when you see that ball up in the air, the Oklahoma

players on the field goal unit are just standing around like they're waiting for their number to be called. Like, nobody cares or is even aware that a runback might happen. There is also this, that Tom Herman admitted that Houston wasn't ready. The timeout game Houston all the time they needed to prepare for a situation that they were visibly unprepared for. So it wasn't even like Stoops not only didn't have everyone ready on the field, that the staff didn't have everyone ready on the field. They didn't recognize that the other team. They didn't recognize the advantage they had, right?

Which that's what coaches do. When you wonder what coaches do in a game situation, they're recognizing things like that, and they failed to recognize that. And this doesn't mean, by the way, that Oklahoma won't have its usual stellar season. It's just when Oklahoma falls apart. It tends to look like this. Yeah. Yeah.

I mean, I do like that we get to talk about, in seriousness, I like that we get to talk about Houston as a potential playoff crasher for a good while because of this. That is truly interesting and exciting to me. So I will thank you for that, Oklahoma. I was impressed by how much more grown Houston looks than last year. Houston was really good last year, but this is, a big motherfucking team. Ed Oliver,

the true freshman down, like, tearing apart Oklahoma's offensive line? I mean, this team could hang with anybody but Bama. I would, you know, I would, that's not really a bold take. They just beat number three, but I mean, if you're Houston,

you should not be afraid of anybody on this schedule. You know, there's, you know, no sort of guarantee to win 11 or 12 games, but I did not see a single thing to worry about as far as Houston goes. And if we keep Greg Ward up right. That's it. Keep Greg Ward. You probably want to do that. That would be good because he's a huge part of those past for 321 yards yesterday. And only had one

yard rushing. But if you watched a lot of what he did on third down and a lot of what he did to keep drives a live game via his feet and extending the play. So yeah, Houston, you're awesome. And we don't just like you because Tom Herman had two coaches fight each other in the Oklahoma drill wearing bunny suits. Nope. You're actually good. Also the, um, now we get a month or so, maybe a year, who knows, it's the Big 12 subplot of the Big 12 trying to like find reasons not to add Houston, which if they come out and they're like, yeah, we're out in Cincinnati and Colorado State, you know, then it's like, you, you, you scurred, ain't you, huh? Should have just come out and be like, we're, we're afraid

of losing to them all the time. I think what you do is you hang from the, you know, the, rafters at Houston's stadium, Houston, Texan Stadium, like a money-in-the-bank contract and just do a ladder match after the game, Tom Herman versus Bob Stoops. Herman would whoop's ass in a ladder match, first of all. I think if it's a street fight, you go Stoops. If it's a ladder match, I got Tom Herman all day. He scrambles up there, gets the Big 12 contract, signs it, boom. Now they play Texas next week.

Oh, look at that. Ed Orgeron out of nowhere, into the Big 12 without a team, but it counts. Well, I think that's a hardcore match. That's a no-holt-hardtore match. He comes up with a trash can full of Kendo sticks. Yeah, he ain't playing it without the Kendo sticks. Okay, you've got to have some accessories, and you've got to have the cage if you want Eddie O in the rank.

Well, we're discussing Stoves having bad days. Going back. Oh, God. I don't even want to spend as long on this because we're in year four. Year four is when you're past year three. Year three is when you expect the magic to happen. I've got everyone in the program that I recruited. I've got a full depth chart.

I've understood the challenges that meet me in this particular job and have managed the administration, and I'm going to produce something between eight and 11 wins to validate everything. And then there's Mark Stoops at Kentucky, who has been turning the corner, turning this corner. It's a long corner. It's a wide corner.

It's a very round. Y'all remember when he first got there, they had that top 30 recruiting class and everyone lost their minds. And they packed out the spring game, like 55,000 people there. Tim Couch is back, co-signing on the offense. Like, oh, yeah, this is the air raid stuff you like. It's the same stuff.

Like, I was at that game, and I was like, holy shit. People, like, look at all these people caring about UK football. And, I mean, that feels like a lifetime ago, man. Because it was a lifetime ago. If you keep turning a corner, by the way, and you've gone more than, you know, 180 degrees, that's because you're either in a spiral going, oh, or a spotter will going down. And guess what?

Kentucky breaks are out. You're taking three left. You know, I mean, you know what Kentucky football is. It's the segue. Like, everybody got super excited and was like, guys, something's coming out. It's going to change the game. It's the most amazing thing you've ever seen.

Way too hyped. Then didn't do so much. Stuck around, like maybe mall cops will use it. Hopefully we can use it on tours of Washington, D.C. and then the founder, Mark Stoops, fell off a cliff and died. Did that happen? Did the Segway founder fall off a cliff and died? One of the people involved in the invention, the Segway, died on a Segway.

Did he doing what he loved? Well, in case anyone doesn't know this team. He died doing what he loved, falling down a ravine. Falling off a cliff. Go Cats. That was cute. Kentucky lost to a conference USA team, a good conference USA team. At home, after giving up 34 unanswered, to an offensive coordinator that it fired.

Speaking of falling off a ravine, every phrase of that just feels like hitting another rock on the way down. How much worse can it get? Sound of wolves growling in the background. It's like the end of gravity, right? Like, oh, man, that won't be on fire. Yeah, it's on fire. George Clooney, he's better. Oh, no, no, sorry.

No, no. Is that flooding? She made it, but now she's going to drown. Okay, yeah, that's happening. Okay, so she landed in like a jungle in the middle of, I don't know, Malaysia or something, and there's no humanity anywhere. Good job. I have this for you from that game. Oh, and it is a stat that I'm going to let sizzle on your brain for a second, okay? Number of plays that they ran in the second half. Kentucky, remember, was up 35. At the half, they're up 35, 17. At one point, they were, up 3510. They had over 350 yards of offense in the first half, I believe. Yeah, they were good. They were rolling. Let's go ahead. Drop that second half knowledge. They ran 12 plays in the second half. Oh, I'm sorry, I'm sorry, it was 14. 14 plays. We ran 14 plays in the time. That's half of Georgia Tech Drive. Yep. Yep. Yep. They, they ran 14.

place in the second half man. Was there a running clock? Nope. Nope. Nope. No one o'clock. Were they on the planet with all the gravity where the time moves really fast? Hey man, at least in position meetings, that's going to be easy tape. All right, show's over. All right, I'm just going to say minus 14 times in a row and then we're good. That's what they did. Same two in year four.

against an offensive coordinator that they fired the year before. So, in case you get lost in the Lane Giffin drops the hammer on his former employer's storyline, there's a way, way meaner, nastier one, right? Like, this is

your war story where you go, well, there's the big front of World War II, and you're like, yeah, but let me tell you about the sick shit that happened in Burma. Wait until Friday night when Mac Brown gets to talk about both these things. See, this is why I always say you never fire a coachie, because They'll come back and they'll put 52 points on you

Or they'll beat you in the Conference America at home It's hard being a haint with hair this good But I pull it off That and the kindliest ghost that visits you Mac Brown Southern Mississippi also has a wide receiver named Alan Zay Staggers Maybe the greatest

Yes he does Yeah He staggered to the defense For 46 yards of receiving So well done Mr. Staggers It's a sentence, and he's a wide receiver. Jason, go ahead. I'm just going to say, I like that our SEC sadness breakdown

did not include Kentucky. They were a solo segment later. No, man, this is the series we put on Netflix, right? We got the movies, but. This is the web exclusive. The digital skit. It's a 30 for 30. What if I told you that a team only ran 14 plays and a half?

The Lonely Island presents Kentucky football. It's a tick joke. So I was going to say re-LSU, which, as longtime listeners of this program know, I'm laughing, sincerely. It was my national championship pick. I am a professional college football media member. It is a good thing I'm not paid for my opinions. Not that really anyone is these days, because you can say anything and make millions of dollars until you end up on FS1.

But I picked LSU to win the national championship, and I've maintained for years that the Big Ten West is the worst Power 5 division. LSU lost to the Big Ten West. I am wrong officially about everything. So, well, other than, you know, like, I picked Northern Iowa to beat Iowa State. So, yeah, rely on me on only the most meaningless possible games. And if I have anything to say about anything important, just, just ignore it. Who are the people who listen to us for predictions? I sincerely want to meet them, tell them about our respective personal lives, and explain, like, this is why you shouldn't do that.

Well, it feels like on Twitter we get a lot of credit for everything we get right. It's awesome that people are rooting for us to be right. Um, and like, they're kind of like supportive parents, you know, like, they're like parents who like find the good stuff, which is nice. We appreciate that. You know, like your report card doesn't have any ketchup on it this quarter. Great job. Exactly. Let me give you, allow me to give you my favorite most delightful, delicious tidbit from the LSU Wisconsin score.

It is that in wake up college football, the online show, which you should watch at 10 a.m. on Sundays, featuring Dan Rubinstein and Ryan Nanny. on SB Nation available in a number of platforms. They pointed out that LSU scored 13 points, one fewer than Boston College. Now, this is incorrect. Now, the genius behind this

and way to go, Ryan, is that if an LSU fan beholds this, then what do they have to do? They have to issue the saddest correction on the planet, which is, no, no, we didn't score 13 points. We scored 14. We were not outscored by Boston.

college we were equis scored actually our offense is as good as Boston colleges I said this because on Twitter Lee Carr at B underscore Lee underscore Carr said LSU had 14 points it's pathetic yet but scores aren't secrets so that last bit is also pretty bad I don't actually know what you're saying here sir but I'm glad you did because you fell into the accidental Tiger Trap. Jason brought up Northern Iowa, beating Iowa State. And man, it was a really nice week to be an FCS team.

Like a really, really nice week. It started early with Albany beating Buffalo. That went mostly a notice because it's Buffalo, but hey, that's cool. South Dakota State very nearly pulled the upset on TCU. TCU had to pull away in the fourth quarter, basically, to prevent that. But in the process, yeah, TCU gave up 333 yards of passing on 30 attempts. What the fuck happened there? I honestly, I watched none of this game.

I could not tell you anything meaningful about it. This was one where you kept saying, like, somebody keep an eye on this, and it just kind of never happened. Yeah. I guess we didn't believe it would happen, but yeah, go on. We have to choose which is the more painful? FCS loss. you have Richmond beating Virginia in Rocco Menden Hall's first game by 17 points.

Oh, never in, and by the way, never in doubt. I believe at one point, there were up. At one point, Richmond was up 30 to 7 and doing whatever they wanted. Richmond was in control. Richmond, this was a matter of the spiders actually pulling up against UVA. Virginia on third down in this game, two of ten. Richmond popped the trunk. Virginia 2 of 10

Richmond 10 of 17 Yeah Also let's recall Richmond is the school that they hired Mike Linden away from So you hired the coach Fired him And then

Spider's revenge Yeah Virginia had four turnovers To Richmond zero in this game It's going to be a long Long season for UVA Very I am looking forward to it

For all the wrong reasons They play Oregon I think either next week or the week after. Well, those scores the points, at least. Yeah, that's a fair point. Go Brady Hoke. Ah, but then your other option for saddest FCS struggle fest. Oh.

Wazoo. Losing to... I... No, I will... We have a theory on this. Okay. Okay. Okay.

I am curious how this theory accounts for the fact that eastern Washington had 606 yards of offense. Please go on. Because they played Washington State. Ah, touche. They're real good. They're real good. They're real good. They got a red field.

They got FCS players you've actually heard of. Okay. The Inferno. One night in hell. I mean, based on recent precedent, this means Washington State is going nine and four. Exactly. That's the theory is that in order to properly begin the season, Wazoo's got to go out there and just, you know, take a bat to the head from an FCS team.

A pretty good one, Eastern Washington, when you look at the way that plays, programs performed over the last couple of years they're they're a great team they're better than port they're better than portland state was when wazoo lost to that last year exactly they're making progress here they were uh there were a combined so you got a combined 87 points 1100 yards of offense and 24 penalties you know look at it this way luke falk still alive that's a big step here still attack cooper cup future future future Future that guy. Future New England Patriot?

Oh, undoubtedly. We got a guy who's just going to be tearing people up in the slot and selling jerseys all across the white enclaves of New England. They're a good team. This is actually a more respectable FCS loss to start it. So book those Rose Bowl tickets, Washington State. The suckers happening. And lest you say, oh, wow, this is dismal for the Pac-12 for Washington State.

Okay, I want you to look around. Who can't Washington State beat in the Pack 12 right now? Stanford? Yeah, everyone else's game. Look, this is a coin toss team that can produce a lot of points. And do you expect them to be consistent? No, that's not what I'm asking you to do in this movie. I'm asking you to be erratic.

I'm asking you to give up a lot of yards and score a lot of points. I'm asking you to lose to an FCS team and then win nine games. So this was all on plan for Washington State. College football didn't get a preseason, you also just make that first loss interesting. Our preseason is like it goes all the way till conference play. I mostly like the image of Washington State as the John Wick of the Pac-12. That's just like, man, I just want to be left alone.

And then some FCS team kills the dog. And it's like, well. Get it out of the way earlier. That's, if I can give you one note of consolation, if you're a fan of a team like, I don't know, Kentucky who blew a 25 point lead, then it's this. You got it out of the way.

You know what you are and you're not good. That's great. You don't have to encounter the bitter reality later of, well, actually, that team wasn't really good. We actually have a serious problem with the offensive line. I'm a Florida fan, I know. We can't run the ball. Can't run the ball.

We got a quarterback who's probably not going to, throw it further than like six yards downfield you know you're going to have to watch the florida kentucky game right oh yeah that's what a treat that's going to be blood of delight besides tennessee georgia what is the best cc east game of the year