Shutdown Fullcast - Shutdown Fullcast 4.36: Death By A Thousand Slices

Episode Date: September 19, 2016

Learn more about your ad choices. Visit megaphone.fm/adchoices Learn more about your ad choices. Visit podcastchoices.com/adchoices

And welcome to the shutdown full cast review episode, review, review, review episode for week three of the 2016 college football season. Joining me, as always, my two fellow co-host, by the way, I'm Spencer Hall. Hi, Editor-in-chief of Every Day should be Saturday. It's my current title at SB Nation. We'll go with Editor at large. That works. my co-hosts as always Florida State lost by 43 points

joining me live from Kennesaw, Georgia. We usually call him Jason Kirk but I like to just go ahead and get this out at the start Florida State lost by 43 points Jason What you think about that? Well that doesn't concern me That's more y'all's jurisdiction The Florida State losing part

Lamar Jackson winning by 43 points However that delights me greatly Because he is he is our wonderful sweet, wonderful sweet football friend who delivers magical touchdowns for us. I agree, I agree with that. This is the Papa John here.

And fills us with great delight. Yep, Papa John here. Hang on, hang on, we got a I think we got a caller. No, hey, is that Papa John beat that ass by 43 points joining us from Brooklyn? That's right.

I had a big gold full of 99 bananas for breakfast, because it's bananas have potassium. Papa John, better ingredients, better get your ass out of here, Florida. Now, how did he get to Brooklyn in this condition? Don't worry. Don't worry

about it. You cop? You, you fucking cop. You better tell Papa. Papa stands for Pope. I have holy authority over you. I don't know how he got to Brooklyn, but I bet I know what he was saying along the way. Go be Papa!

You got to call me Jesus. I'm I'm the crass figure. Actually, he lost to Alabama. How many different ways, by the way, do you think that Peyton Manning has of avoiding Papa John's calls? I say this because I know that Charlie Weiss once at a dinner, and I know multiple people he did this too

and say, you know, I mean, life's pretty great and everything. I mean, look, I got Bon Jovi in my phone. Look, it's Bon Jovi in my phone. And I immediately felt like I'd know. Papa John has to do that with Peyton Manning, right? Like, Papa John's worth 80,000 times more money than Peyton Manning, and he's got to hold up the phone and be like, hey, I'm just going to call Peyton watch.

It's nothing. I'll just text him. He'll text back in a minute, I know. Maybe he's busy. I don't know. He's just, you know, he's a really, he does a lot of charity. It's probably why he doesn't answer in my text. I guess Peyton, like, he's calling audibles and whatever. Like, he looks down and sees Papa John calling and, you know,

starts barking out Omaha and whatnot. Yeah, that and this, despite avoiding Peyton Manning's calls, the first thing we're going to discuss in this podcast is that at the slice. The slice in Louisville. I called it the Slice on Twitter and somebody tried to correct me. They said, we call it the oven. I'm like, I'm afraid. Listen, I've been in the slice. It's not shaped like an oven.

If it's an oven, then nobody closed the door, you see, because it has sort of. of a it's it's a it's one of it's an open-ended stadium there's a little extra facility there with a statue john unitas but that's not going to keep the heat in this this is a pizza that has had a piece cut out of it do you really want like an intense run game to be associated with your brand of pizza i don't think so no yeah yeah it kind of is but yeah where it's it might be this so the final score if you did not see and man i would encourage you you, if you want to go back and watch something spectacular, find highlights from this game. Yeah, set aside some time if you're going to watch the highlights, because it's not going to be a short affair.

I watch most of it in the press box at App State Miami, once App State decided that they were out of talent points. I realized that I just said Bobby Petrino was involved in something that was not a short affair. I get that. Let's move on. God, where do you begin with the Louisville box score? because it's just every it's it's sort of like if you go down through florida state's side of it this is what i imagine a NASA rocket inspection looks like after a rocket blows up on the pad where they're like uh third down efficiency nope yards per pass nope yards per rush nope turnover battle nope

total yards nope just like all of it is like failure just so many critical failures that it has the advantage of in true team fashion way to rally the troops uh there's plenty of blame to go around florida state there's no need to point fingers everyone fucked up did did lamar jackson double up dandre francois through the air yep did he double up the fsusus leading rusher on the ground almost uh you know did the rest of the running game do about the same to the rest of fs u's running yep yep just across the board Did James Quick have as many receptions as all of FSU one away? Did even an Aguayo miss a field goal? It is a complete collapse.

Yeah, and you can attribute this, by the way, on the other side to not just one person. It would be cool to just say, man, Lamar Jackson completely dominated Florida State by himself. And that is like 60% accurate. I want to make that clear. It's 60% accurate that Lamar Jackson single-handedly dominated Florida State. Because, and I say 60%, because he had over half of Louisville's total yards by himself. He had 216 through the air, and he had 146 on the ground onto 17 carries, and he had 4 TDs on the ground, some of which didn't look like they required much effort, even though I know they did because he's superhuman.

No, there are other people that you can put in line for credit here. Like Devante Fields, the TCU Castoff, who ended up being a dominant force on defense and making Full-Hord State's offensive line look like trash, which I don't think they are. They looked like trash because they were playing a really good defensive lineman. Pooh, boy, cast off is a real kind word for what happened to Devon... Or what the Devonte Field's history is, but... Yeah. We'll move on.

Discard. If you would like to know more, Google Devonte Fields TCU gun. Yeah, Devonte Field's TCU gun. He has kindly been referred to as a reclamation project. As if the problem was that he had termites. Hey, I just saw a cool tweet. The starting, they're the quarterback on the field right now for the Patriots is Jacoby Brissette. So, Florida Gators.

Florida Gators, yet putting yet another quarterback in the pros. I just figured you guys would want to know that. Listen, NC State gets this one because they don't get to claim Russell Wilson, all right? Well, that's mighty nice. I've enjoyed what happened with Russell Wilson, where people said, wow, Tom O'Brien must have been a real dick to let him go. And then the more the public gets a eye full of Russell Wilson and here's how he talks, everyone says, man, Tom O'Brien's so cool.

I mean, can't both things be true? Can't both things be true? Can't both things be, can't Russell Wilson be like a really weird dude and Tom O'Brien just be like a humorless dick? Yeah, I think we were probably right somewhere in like 2015. Like we spent a couple years making fun of T-O-B and then it swung probably too far in the other direction. Somewhere in there. We nailed the equilibrium and just agreed these two people were not meant for each other. on on the florida state side of things and i am basically borrowing from bud at this point and a number of other florida state people uh dalvin cook does not see i don't think dalvin cook is healthy based on everything that he's done this year and i don't know that they're doing with him is he ever healthy yeah i mean has he ever been healthy i mean he came in the the thing was that he was going to bulk up right he's going to bulk up so it could take you know take more carries and and he's looked slower and more hesitant, right?

He's not the biggest dude in the world. It's not like he's petite, but he might be a little heavy, and he definitely isn't totally healthy because it just hasn't looked the same. In fact, they looked a little bit better once his backup went in. I know it was garbage time, but still. Doesn't everything go back to the offensive line, though? Because, I mean, the issue's offensive line is a pretty rough all year. It does, but also, like, I think some of the,

this was D'Andre Francois being a young quarterback who had to, you know, didn't always make the best decision about what to do in the pocket or even to stay, whether or not to stay in the pocket. So it's, I don't, like I said at the beginning, you got 10 fingers. You can point them everywhere because there is, it was, it was just a systemic collapse on the part of Florida State, which for the record is fine. This Louisville team might be super, super good. We already agree that they're super good but like it is entirely possible that this is just kind of like those years where

Auburn comes out of nowhere and you're just like oh shit Auburn's real good please please please no this is not one of those years for Robert oh this could be such a long-term prediction no as Bobby Petrino is their head coach yeah although so one of those years where Auburn pops up and is good I think we all know what happens pretty soon after that okay this this checks out extremely well

I'm so glad that you mentioned that, Ryan, because this is what I had on my mind when I think about what Lamar Jackson is. Because Mike Vick said that he was, what, eight times the player? Five. Five for his calculation. One Lamar Jackson equals five Vicks, right? People saying like, man, this looks like Michael Vick in college. And I'm like, I, it's a little different. Lamar Jackson just barely looks like he's even trying.

Like, that's how big. and like he runs to me like Vince Young that lope where you say he's not moving that fast no he's faster than Vince Young and he has the exact same amount of perceived exertion which is goodbye Immortals I will glide this way for a TD

auvoir that and it reminds this team reminds me a lot of the Cam Newton Auburn team because they have one or two defenders you can pick out they have a pretty good offense built around Lamar Jackson already and they have Lamar Jackson They have a transformational figure who, if he doesn't get hurt, is more than capable of putting up not only one of the most mind-boggling statistical seasons.

Remember, Marriota, at this point in his Heisman season, had, I think, 11 TDs through this stretch. Yeah, we pulled the stats on this. Hold on, I'm going to pull it. Marcus Marietta in 2014 had 11 touchdowns through three games. RG3 in 2011 had 14. Tim Tebow in 2007 had 13. Johnny Football, 2012 had 12. Lamar Jackson has 18.

He is also crushing everybody in terms of total offense. The only other quarterbacks that had 1,000 yards of total offense through their first three games of the seasons they won the Heisman were Tim Tebow and RG3. Lamar Jackson's currently sitting at 1377. Good God. Yeah, he's just crushed. I mean, granted, it's a long season and the September Heisman is a thing

for a reason. Yeah, but let me go ahead and give you, let me go ahead and give you the rest of that scale. In case you doubt there's some, in case you doubt there's some meat on the bone for him to pull off, okay? Because now he's beaten what most people regard as

the first or second best team in the ACC and probably the best one by talent. Although, honestly, it was such a, it was so brutal that I think it has made us reexamined. the pecking order in the ACC, whether that's right, right, right. One of the, I guess we could say one of the best three, then.

Yes, that's fair. One of the best three and wiped them from the face of the earth. If I have the point margin, it's still an appalling show by Florida State. It's still dominance. If I take the stat sheet and I take 100 yards and I just throw it over and a couple of first downs and throw it to Florida State out of garbage time,

because Florida State made a lot of first downs and garbage time and garbage time started early right we're fully in garbage time by like what late second early third here i mean yeah only only because old miss wasn't involved in this game right right which we'll get to all this is the greenest program in college football because there is no garbage it's never garbage time or it's always garbage the entire scoreboard is compost yeah it's a bitch self-renewing green program dang it uh please somebody photoshop Hugh Freeze as Captain Planet. Thank you.

Continue, I was going to say they play, and I mean this just in terms of, oh man, he's going to put up some numbers. They play the following at Marshall. Oh, my God. Oh, my God.

I forgot about that still right now. Marshall just got dusted by Akron. Yeah, and somebody, some Louisville fan was telling me, saying to me today that I think Marshall has like a four-game winning streak against Louisville, So this is not just like a, oh, yeah, we scheduled Marshall. It's like, nah, we kind of want to beat the shit out.

Oh, okay. Wow. Oh, man. Yeah, yeah, it gets worse. Okay, so they actually have a game at Clemson, who defensively, more than capable, I think, putting Lamar Jackson under some unique pressure. And they could also still lose by 20. Like, Clemson can just step up and lose by 20, especially given, I know they have one good game against SC State, y'all. Seat State is not Louisville.

Louisville's not SC State. I will say Clemson's as up and down as Clemson has looked overall. The defense has been great. Yeah, the defense has been great. They have that. I can't take that away from them. But then, Duke, NC State at Virginia. Oh, you want a fun one? The biggest discrepancy in first downs in college football this year at Boston

College, November 5th, 2016, because they play a team that totaled Zero points, and 13 punts yesterday. 13 punts against Virginia Tech. That made Virginia Tech look like Oregon, while Oregon looked like UCLA, maybe? Mm-hmm. They got Houston, which is a legit game, potentially, like, just pure fire.

They also get that game on five days' rest, and it's a road game. That is the one that's worrisome. If you're a Louisville fan thinking we can run the table this year, the two games you have to watch out for right now are the road game at Clemson and the road game at Houston. That said, we don't know what Houston will be that far down the line. I guess technically we don't know what Louisville will be either.

But yeah, there is a lot of ACC Drek all over the middle of the middle of the schedule. There's one magnificent piece of SEC Drek at the end, by the way. Oh, my God, they're going to slam the door shut on who, which? whichever interim is replacing Mark Stoops, they're going to get that guy fired, too. Man, they're going to fire two three coaches during this game because they get to play Kentucky.

They get to play Kentucky at home in the slice. We have a policy statement on this game coming out in EDSVS this week. In short, don't think you should play this game. Poor fit. Nope. Don't play any of them, Kentucky. The other real, real impressive,

just take it to somebody and make them look overmatched for most of the game. Ohio State 45, Oklahoma 24. I mean... Yeah, is Oklahoma not very good? I think we have ample evidence to suggest at this point that Oklahoma's not that good. Yeah.

That this is maybe... Like, I think this is a team that could still win the Big 12, but I don't think that means much. No. Like at this point in the season, I just look at... I mean, you don't want to get too far into the transit of wins thing, all that but I mean okay Notre Dame we think

they're good which means we think Texas is good Texas just lost a weird game at Cal Notre Dame is also one and two okay Houston beat Oklahoma therefore Houston is really good Oklahoma's one and two you know Bama and Florida State just beat Ole Miss so therefore

they're both like at this point in the season you just run into such a puzzle that I don't think they're any good teams actually but can I ask a can I ask a real unfortunate question and this will i'm going to ask you both to pull up the standings for the year for all of college football if i asked you to make a 14 playoff right now out of teams that are one and two you could actually do a pretty good one oklahoma that's your potential big 12 representative

unless you really like kansas by the way oklahoma and kansas have the same record um you can have notre dame or b yu i'll take notre dame uh you can have wazoo they're one and two as is us or One in one in FBS as we recalculate based on Wazoo record keeping policy. So then do you want, do you want USC instead? No. And then in case you don't know, USC punted from what? The 50? It was about the 44 in the fourth quarter and they said they didn't want to give their explosive offense another chance or something like that.

They punted and gained, I think, what, 17 yards or something? I think Clay Hilton was, the spirit of Jeff Fisher has already saturated the entire city. Rams fever. Ram's fever is taking over the entire L.A. Metropolitan Area. Yeah, I don't want them. Okay, you can also choose between Auburn and Old Miss. Oh, Miss. Old Miss, yeah.

Old Miss. All right, so who are you for? Oh, God. I thought I could just say Ole Miss like three times. I mean, I guess we have to put in Oklahoma because they're the most important team in the country right now, despite not being very good. And Notre Dame is the same. Oklahoma, Notre Dame, Ole Miss. USC has two top, what, five losses at this point?

Yeah. Sure, take them. Oh, my God. That is, there's your playoff, ladies and gentlemen. If the requirement were be one game under 500. This is. Yeah, Ohio State just. And this is one where you look at the box score for this game.

And it's not even like you can say, oh, well, Oklahoma had a ton of turnovers, or Ohio State had a bunch of lucky special teams play, or Oklahoma got killed by penalties. They just got outplayed. They just got flat out played. Dude, they got beat up, too. I mean, Ohio State had nearly 50 rushing attempts. They were good on the ground, just consistent, able to, able to, like, they were consistent enough on the ground. Like, I listened to this game primarily on the radio, and it hurt listening on the radio, because every time it was, it was Samuel for six, Barrett for five, Weber for eight, Weber for seven, yeah, it just, and you're listening to it going, this, this is painful. This is, because they are just, mathematically, they are a hard team to face,

because they will force you into three and outs. They are very fast. If they do move the ball on you, they'll probably pressure you into turning it over, especially if you're Baker Mayfield, who has a certain joie de vivre and quarterback. I mean, imagine if Indiana Jones just spent two and a half hours in the movie

running away from the boulder. That's essentially what Oklahoma, Oklahoma, you were Indiana Jones in this game. And unfortunately, that boulder just kept coming. Yeah, and this is a, is a fan fake. Yeah, this is the five-minute version of Raiders of the Lost Dark, where it ends after five minutes.

This is Lego Indiana Jones and playing it for the first time. Those games are hard as hell, by the way. Oh, man, those games are great. Can I give you one note on the Jurassic Park one that I tweeted out? But I feel like I need to share it with the listeners in case they don't know. Oh, yeah. And Dr. Ellie Sadler, Laura Dern's character,

she has the power to jump into enormous piles of dinosaur poop and find stuff. Like she does a full swan dive into it and rummages around and triceratops. I think that's how Kansas State recruits. Dr. Ellie Sadler, Bill Snyder's Spirit Animal in the

Lego gaming world. That's a sentence that just came out of my mouth. Life's wonderful. Yeah, this was a beatdown. This was a game where I mean, ahead of time, I had Ohio State not because I have any great insight, but because I have Bud Elliott in my ear all the time going, they're not even

on the same level, talent-wise. And they didn't look, especially on the lines, they did not look the same. Yeah, this is the funny one, early in the day, Louisville beats FSU, and, you know, recruiting isn't real people pipe up in Italy. And then after this one they, oh, okay, I see your point. Now, can I, can we flip that script back again?

Okay, and give you the recruiting isn't real flip on another game. You're recruiting. Truthers. Yeah, let's give you a recruiting truth or riddle here, which was 3628, the score of the Michigan State Notre Dame game. We should all preface that. I don't think any of us watch this game in its entirety. I watched a decent amount, but even when Notre Dame started coming back, yeah, I just didn't. I used the word riddle intentionally because all three of us are very confused by this game because we were all watching something else.

Correct. Notre Dame had three turnovers. There's a big part of the story. Yards per play looks like it was pretty much this. Oh, well, Notre Dame couldn't run at all. And, and Michigan State could. Yeah, well, five yards is about average.

Yeah, let's see. 2.3 for Notre Dame. Do we have our healthy, yeah, do we have our, do we have our standard Mark Dan Antonio Big Ten game plan? Yes, we do. Got about a, what, a two-to-one range for rushes to passes? Yeah, this is about right. Yeah, just looking at what this looks like what Michigan State likes to do

against passing teams, just say, sure, you can go ahead and do that. You're not going to run. The Baylor Michigan State bowl game, when Baylor got a big lead, and then Michigan State just said, well, what's you going to do with that lead? You're going to run? No, I don't think you're off. Yeah, Michigan State's plan is like, we're going to give you the football equivalent of a generic Thanksgiving dinner.

The rushing attack, that's the turkey. We're just going to make you tired and regretful and sort of stick in your system way too long. The passing attack, that's the mashed potatoes. You're only, you know, only going to have a little of those compared to the turkey, but they're also just going to sit with you and just really make you feel unpleasant. And then the defense, I guess that's dinner rolls, where somehow you're like, yeah, you know what I need? Starch.

Let's have some more, let's have some more heavy starch here. That'll soak it up and you're like, nope. And now you're just all bound up. Now Notre Dame is just, now Notre Dame is just sweating and hoping it'll poop before the morning comes. Oh, well, there were some soil drawers all right in this game, sir. There was Brian Kelly shouting, what the fuck are you doing at? Everyone thought at first that it was Brian Van Gorder, but it seemed he was shouting past him at another assistant, and I couldn't discern who.

And then apparently after the game, there was some sort of his account faved a tweet saying Van Gorder should be fired or something. I don't know. I just saw you put out a statement about it or something. I gave it the same Patrino explanation about, oh, one of my tweet assistants did that. Also taking a timeout to punt and throwing an assistant under the bus, which I think the quote was, these are the players we recruited. This is not on them. This is on the staff.

So this is, all I'm hearing is Brian Kelly, future Buffalo Bills coach. the blame he places it's now escalated and if they lose again he's pinning it on like the athletic director because that's the next step up but other than himself you don't think we'll get to st peter watch notre dame lose to army we'll blame that on st peter he's got bad gate control i don't know what to tell you army army by the way currently much better record than notre dame they're three and oh they're uh the if the end

dependents where a conference army would be winning it right now. Oh, boy. We were talking about this pre-show that, first of all, in case you have been under a rock, and we know you, you're shut down full cast listener, you might have woken up under, under a rock. That could have happened yesterday. 4843, Alabama in Oxford, snapping the two-game win streak. Feels weird calling two games a win streak, but two games back-to-back against Nick Sabin is

No small feet. So way to go, Old Miss. It was fun being on the top of the bottom as long as you were, with Alabama being on top. 48-43, Alabama snaps that streak. Not a real interesting game. And like a big unwieldy, garbage time heavy,

it's hard for me to say what constitutes garbage time for Ole Miss because they can score real fast and they won't hold the lead. So they'll just maximize this whole style. of football that we play now to get as many plays in and to score as many points and still lose against quality competition. That's 2016. I think the stat that came out of this game was that Old Miss was the first team in like 50 years to blow... Yeah, like 20 years or something. To blow two 21 point

leads in a season. So that's where you're at. Chad Kelly will pass you into contention and then he will pass you out of it because you have no run game. None. Well, what's so staggering about Ole Miss is that they blow the leads so quickly it's not like watching like Florida State Louisville from a couple years ago where it's like

okay they're just sort of it's slowly bleeding out of them like you you go up by three touchdowns and then it takes maybe six minutes of game clock to be like oh now yep now it's a one score game yep yep and now we're losing

it's just it happens so quick even better than that I think is they rebuild the lead so quickly too. Like they jumped out to a fast lead, surrendered it immediately. And then Bama sprints out to a huge lead of its own. And then Ole Miss is, you know, it was like two or three entire minutes left. And they had a legit chance to win after, oh man, I love this game. Not a lot of people, well, I mean, the refereeing was hard to get past.

It was extremely bad. and Gary Danielson, I don't, I guess he kind of made it worse. He was so upset about it. It was bad, but he was acting like someone was shot on the field, which somehow made the entire experience less pleasant. But this game was amazing, just the gigantic momentum swings. I mean, the most interesting part of this game happens in the end of the second quarter when I will give you the timestamps because otherwise you might not believe me.

it is 243 with two minutes and 47 seconds left in the second quarter and at the end of the half it is 2417 bama score 17 points bam bam bam bam bam to get back in this it's a breathtaking counterpunched if you watch it it's a full three phase thing how they get back into this it's yeah it is it is blinding and there's no response to it like if you wonder where Alabama gets It's strength and power. It gets it from two things. One, cheap, high fructose corn syrup being available across the southern. Government subsidized.

Yes, across the United States. So way to go, you independent pioneers of Alabama. You can thank the U.S. government for all that extra body weight. Two, they get it because they're so deep and they're so good across every single position and have so much talent to burn that they can do this, that they could apply pressure at every single point. and they're just going to be better at you at one point on the field. You'll snap. And that's, if you watch Old Miss, that's what happens here.

Then it goes down to Chad Kelly being able to hold the lead. And Chad Kelly, not the most ball-secure quarterback. So Old Miss has to play Georgia next. A Georgia team that barely beat Missouri. What happens if Hugh Freeze loses that game at home? The thing that I said would happen all along, which is that Hugh Freeze is in danger of losing his job. Because my theory being, anyone at Old Miss is always capable of losing their job.

Anyone. Y'all like Petrino for Ole Miss? Oh, just the thought of an SEC West bidding war for Bobby Petrino is enough for me. I don't care where he ends up at that point. Louisville fans are unhappy this morning. There's some show on ESPNU where they just have like the most scalding takes on Sunday mornings. I don't know if it's new, but, like, last week they were... I think it's called Tire Store Coffee.

I think that's the name of the show. Like, they have a segment where they boot all the one-loss teams out of the playoff as if, like, you think it's going to be nothing but undefeated teams? And everyone was just so hopped up and fired up, and, I mean, it'll wake you up, sure. But there was some segment where the caption, Louisville fans were passing around was, like, would an SEC team dare to take a chance on Bobby Petrino? it's like what the fuck would an SEC team not take a chance on i mean this is this is a division that's going to be recruiting art bryles next year yeah yeah i mean at this point petrino is one of

your more honorable options i'm not telling you what it's good or bad i'm just telling you what will be you'll have to i mean hey listen it's not like auburn had a promotional thing going on this weekend with basketball coach Bruce Pearl basketball coach Bruce Pearl barbecuing that was a thing

there I thought you were making a phone of Penn State did this really happen? Yeah oh no no no no no I've missed this entirely oh yeah Auburn's

Auburn's fuck you is fully well that's that's fine compared to compared to Penn State having Paterno videos and a few

Baylor fans clapping for Biles there were some reports of a standing ovation, but I don't know if I buy that, but still clapping for Briles. Barbecuing with Bruce Pearl sounds pretty great compared to those two things. Oh yeah, that's a parking ticket.

I'd go do that right now. Yeah. To me, this is not even a question of whether this will happen. We do this every week on ADSBS. We try to figure out which SEC West coach is going to get fired. And after this week, I don't

really see anybody except Nick Sabin who couldn't get it at this point. Who may Beelma? Bilema is pretty secure. Yeah. Also, also, Kevin Selellan looks fine. Kevin, look, look, it's still September right now. Right, but, but they have the win over UCLA.

They went into Auburn and won. Granted, the offense is still like a little sputtery, but it's in Auburn. Weird things happen. They haven't, they haven't done anything dumb enough to really be worried at this point. Oh, and, by the way, by the way, A&M 3 and O right now. not me i had them going six and six at best this year yeah somebody reminded me of that on twitter that's cool uh let them that's we're wrong i think our official prediction was they would race toward the top 10 and then collapse so we're hey we're still on we're still on the most

worrisome thing for old miss at this point they have not played a true road game yet granted the game in orlando against florida state had road game elements but they still have to go to Arkansas, two LSU, two Texas A&M. I mean, they go to Vanderbilt. We can skip that one. Those are like three teams that have enough right now and play well enough at home, historically at least in the case of A&M, that I would not feel great about that. If you're an Oleness fan thinking you can pull out of the tailspin with ease.

It can happen. It will not be easy. However, there will probably be fewer confess. at flags in the stands of those games so therefore those venues are better for sports so that would be good important word fewer fewer guaranteed to be fewer yeah a word about that by the way it is a point of transition we have a texas a and m beating alburn alburn after a week of being assured that we were going to retool and focus on the fundamentals came out with a magnificent first drive. And then after that, that was it. That's all you got. You got one real good drive. There are so

many things wrong with this team right now. The defense is not one of them, which is very, very weird. It is almost exclusively the offense. It is almost exclusively the lack of a quarterback and the ability to function within that system. Which is not what I thought because

I watched Gus Malzahn turn a DB into a quarterback who went to a national title game. and I didn't think that was something that was going to be a problem at Auburn but here we are three years later and why Sean's not getting it done so this game was 1610 at the end of the first half reasonably close feel like okay Auburn's hanging in this one this is what they did in the second half punt punt punt turnover on downs touchdown turnover on downs yeah feel the

excitement and also a moment late in the game i think about a minute or two to go when one time program savior quarterback john franklin the third ran out of bounds on fourth down um without achieving the first down and just sort of felt like a metaphor microcosm whatever you want to call it like there yep there there goes auburn just reggie balling it Reggie balling it out of bounds. Can I, can I? They get to play LSU next week. Oh, yeah, let me give you this.

At quarterback, I'm going to, we'll play a little price is right. What did they average if you don't have the box score open or play it or just play me? I don't care. What, what did they average per completion against Texas? Per complete? Per completion. Oh, man. Yeah, what were their yards?

Yards, yards per catch. They had. So, first of all, good news, because I'm learning there were completions. it has to be like at least over seven right jason your guess um man i think i'm gonna go four per per completion not per attempt the closest without going over is jason four point seven holy shit i was being sarcastic for well sarcastic gets you this beautiful cabinet and dinettes said sir because no no you're totally you can't do math that's per attempt you asshole oh like that's changing it for you oh sure listen listen well when you have he only went

to georgia tech it's true only went to georgia tech not note i think it's important to know that Auburn throws a lot of incomplete passes i think they deserve credit for that when that you know when they complete the ball it's fine it's just that they often don't is what it is I'm going to make Ryan happy by noting that the yards per incompletion were zero. Thank you. There. There's, I don't know.

There's probably a grounding in there. By the way, I think I'll see on here to explain to us how to. I think this is a real, I think this was like a real positive indicator for an A&M because A&M had a real good day on offense against a pretty good defense on the road and did so rushing the ball. Like they ran the ball real well,

had over 200 yards rushing, real balance offensively, then 247 yards passing. Like, this was not a magnificent performance. They're just like, you know, 247 yards and all that until you consider how well they played thus far as the defense in Auburn. So this is all very promising. Their offensive line big and nasty.

Saw Bugger McFarland. Who's been awesome, by the way. Like, I like Booger McFarland on TV, commentary, whatever. And not just because I get to call him Booger. No, he's been great. He was bragging on their offensive line. Go back and look at the highlights. And yeah, they're beating the daylight out of people.

So A&M, reasons for optimism thus far. Can you transfer any of that optimism to Oregon fans? Nope. Nope. Because I did watch this side by side with Alabama Old Miss, and, man, that was a contrast. Was it? I mean Yeah, it was

Because if you look at it If you look at it, there were no big dramatic counterpunches This was just continual goofing forward by both teams I gotcha, I got you Just yeah Yeah Well, the favorite stat for this one of course Is like the obvious one Oregon went for four two-point conversion

Five five They went one of five And lost by three Three points. So sometimes you just take the one. And, you know, you send that out and then math people hit you with actually. It's 52%. So if you do it a thousand times, you'll come out ahead.

Well, okay, you only did it five, not a thousand. I mean, if they could have, they would have done it. Nebraska's defense is not very good, but you're not going to score 1,000 touchdowns, in my opinion. It's not the 200 yards passing that should bother you. It's your continually piss poor rush defense that allowed Nebraska, a team that struggled to run the ball against Wyoming, to have two, 228 on the ground. That's it.

Wyoming did a better job defending Nebraska's run game than Oregon did. Hey, who's their defensive coordinator, Ryan? Ugh. No. 12 penalties for 124 yards on Oregon. There is a lot of this game

that feels like Brady Hoke. There absolutely is. Like, questionable decision making, get a last drive and just look like total ass in the process. make a not that good quarterback look reasonably competent as Tommy Armstrong did going for about 300 total yards and four touchdowns. So in this game, Oregon was way better per play, won the turnover battle,

won the total yardage for whatever that's worth. They were equal, basically on third down and fourth down. Honestly, this game down to this came down to a better rushing team. under a few crucial penalties and the two point conversion thing like it feels stupid like it feels reductive to say it came down to that but the box scores basically even and like any advantages are in Oregon's favor uh almost across the board that's i mean it it feels like a a bad cover song of oregon i guess because for years Oregon went for two after every touchdown and it was cool not every touchdown shut up you know what i mean but you know it was cool it was a good idea it was

aggressive and all that and uh boy when it goes sideways it sure does but you know what it wasn't all tiers in the pack 12 north no no because cow because cal beat texas that they did boosting boosting stanford's schedule down the line is that your is that your angle here sure yeah no no i i listen cow and stanford i'll say it the west coast most important football rival right the rivalry most important the game the the most important on any coast yeah fuck you apple cup i think that's appropriate for the apple cup i love the apple cup i have also watched so many apple cups in like blinding snow or rain or wind combined with two teams with absolutely nothing to play for it's my dream rivalry because hatred and like absolute piss

vinegar, like detesting the other person. That's all that matters in the Apple Cup year to year. Stanford Cal we, it yeah, this might actually mean something that feels so weird to say. And if you'll remember by the,

if you want a historical moment to pull from this, that is my favorite Sanford Cal moment is when Cal beat Stanford, when Harbaugh was coached there and someone gets in the locker room talking about the axe, the axe, which is the rivalry trophy. Do you recall this? Either of you?

No. No. Okay, look it up. It is video of Jim Harbaugh taking questions as Stanford's head coach after losing to Cal. So it's already pretty rich. And there was a guy in the back because it's the Pac-12 and no one has anything organized and doesn't care if he's in the locker room. Someone in the back is going, we got the axe! Was it McCaffrey-Hisman guy?

It really, I hope it was. I really do, except it had... He did a master's at Cal, so he moves around. I hope he just wanders around. I hope it's the same guy who is in the Texas Tech, Oklahoma video for a few years back. Or the student who ran up to Lane Kiffin and was just like, fuck you! Yeah, that's exactly what I hope this was. But he's in the back going, y'all tried to take it, but we got the axe.

You're going to have to... We get it for a year! Like, it's just this guy. And then everything went good for Cal after that. I like we get it for a year. I'm familiar with long-term football scheduling. I'll check the calendar. These are the rules.

I know how trophies were. I've downloaded a table from the rivalry wiki, and I've analyzed it and come to the conclusion this game was played every 12 months. This Texas Cal game was great because it sort of had all the hallmarks of a, 2015 Charlie Strong, Texas loss in that it felt like there was a kind of questionable use of the quarterbacks and a lot of offense that didn't necessarily lead to as much productivity as you might like. You also had making another team look really good, possibly better than they are. Please reference Iowa State last year. And you had ref bullshit. Oh yeah. Like it has it has all

the essential ingredients for a Texas game that makes Texas fans so unhappy. This is vintage Texas upsetting Texas. Texas. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. I mean, you had a little bit of quarterback injury going on. I would, but I, Brian,

it did put up 43 points on a, on a non-defense, but they did. Can I tell you how many points Cal scored in the fourth quarter? Again, something that Cal, refusing to ever satisfy a single trend I would like to pin on them other than being trifling and adorably dysfunctional. Cal score is zero in the fourth quarter. Zero. Wait what?

Yeah. Where are you getting, where are you getting this from? What are you looking at? Are you drunk? I'm looking at ESPN. You might want to shake your computer or something. No, is it is.

Is that from this year? Yeah. Look at it. Jason, are you seeing the same number? How many total points does Cal have on the game? I have seven, 17, and 21 for 45. That's not right at all. That's hilarious.

Oh, my God. Oh, my God, am I looking at the total wrong box score? I just, for listeners, I just want you to know, this is like a little window into the world of what it's like to work with Spencer Hall. That's amazing. I'm looking at the 2005 box for,

which by the way. Which was also good. Sure. It just wasn't this game. That was the extra point miss game, right? Yes. Which by the way, is this Cal's second in a row versus Texas?

Yes. Streek. Cal is, I believe, now 2-0 against Texas since Matt Brown went politicking against Cal. So I look this up today. The Big 12 against Power 5 non-conference opponents this year is 3 and 6, and that is a number that because they're not Power 5, asterisk yet, does not include the Oklahoma loss to Houston. Or Kansas as many losses. Let's jump around a little bit to some of these other games.

Stanford USC was just a stupid game. Chris Fowler tweeted out something like, Christian McCaffrey had, I want to say, well over 100 yards rushing before contact. USC just got totally manhandled and good luck getting ranked again. No, they will. Yeah, no, I don't think so. I think they could end up with a losing record. This is a real bad.

That's never stopped USC before from being. Wisconsin barely survived Georgia State, a winless team, I believe. Hey, they beat Georgia Southern last year. I think they're capable of anything. It's a quality win for Wisconsin. Go Panthers. Great job there. Tennessee looked like very, very warmed over leftovers against Ohio,

but managed to win and also suffered a bunch of injuries in the process. We talked about Georgia Mizzou a little bit. I have skipped over a game that we should mention ever so briefly. And that is North Dakota State 23, Iowa 21. What better way to celebrate a contract extension for Kirk Farrants into the 2020s than by losing to North Dakota State? You gave Kirk Farrants a $500,000 a year raise each year for the next decade, roughly, and you paid North Dakota State $500,000 to come beat you. That is a million dollars extremely well spent. I would like to share this statistic with you from this game.

Iowa had 25 rushing attempts, and they gained 34 yards. Welp. Against. Now, I will say this. All right? No, listen, the bison are real, and there's a reason why this is the six straight FBS opponent

that they've beaten, collecting over $2 million in the process. Which, one, I will say this. this, North Dakota State and Kirk Farrants, both earners. They're both big earners. That's true. They both get paid when Iowa loses. They are both here to profit off the University of Iowa. They both obey Young Dolph's rule of rule one, get the money.

Rule two, don't forget to get the money, okay? Also, North Dakota State, it is real time. We need a running list to put for people who don't watch as much football as we do. we need a running list of FCS teams in this first month or so who will just point to and say that ain't that bad because Iowa it's real bad to lose to an FCS team I don't want to get that wrong but this is a kick-ass FCS team that is like this close like I think they're they're obviously more

talented than a lot of FBS teams yeah obviously yeah but we you really wouldn't think the number 13 team in the nation would be one of them you really That part kind of sets it apart. Also, we have spent the past two years telling Iowa to please cancel this game. Please, for your own sake, please don't do it. Don't do it. Why'd you schedule this game? And every single time, you know who pipes up and says, no, no worries, we'll be fine.

Iowa fans stressed over and over that they weren't going to be the ones to fall victim. And you never, ever say that about North Dakota State because they're... You know who's on NDSU's future schedule. Oregon and Colorado. And there's time for both of you, but I don't think you'll take advantage of it. So Helfrich, by the way, as we all know, you and I, I think Ryan, have we discussed this? The Helfrich, what's his record to get fired? Like, it's astonishingly good.

Oregon will totally fire a coach who's eight and four. Oh, yeah, they haven't truly fired a coach in a while, so they've got a lot of that stored up, I think. Or the alternative is that they don't really know how to do it. There's that. They don't have any forms. They lost the paperwork, yeah. Or it's all, oh man, well, this is all, these are all, this is Windows-compatible software. We all have apples.

Shit. We can't fire them. They have not, by the way, fired a coach. And you said a long... In like 30 years or something. A long time? Yeah. It's like the coaching office there.

It's like it's rent. control like like they hired one coach and then it just kept getting passed along to to grandkids because before him before health rich we have chip Kelly he leaves sure he leaves to take left for the NFL and daddy's not coming back anytime I don't know his team's down by 13 right now on my TV so okay well he's not coming back to Oregon now rich Brooks accepted the job there was his first gig in 1977 okay

Rich Brooks was not fired so they haven't fired a coach since they have not fired a coach since 19th since the bicentennial since my entire life

has occurred and you're old and I'm old my entire life has occurred without Oregon firing a coach Yeah, they, I mean, they have an interesting road ahead of them, too, because they host Colorado, who, at points, looked very competent against Michigan. They got pretty beat up, and they also had some special teams problems. They go to Wazoo, which, it's Pullman, it's a Mike Leach offense, make no assumptions, and then they got to play Washington.

And the Washington streak is, I don't know what it is on the nose, but I believe it's at least, a decade that Oregon has beat Washington. Based just on what has happened through three weeks, and granted Washington has not really faced much of a stress test so far, that streak looks like it will end. And that will be a very painful thing. That's one of those streaks that I think does sort of start to change the tenor around Mark Helfrich and if he should still be head coach. Keep in mind, the turnaround in the Oregon president.

program occurs largely around beating Washington for the first time in a long time. The current win streak is at 12. They haven't lost, they haven't lost to Washington since 2004. God, who was Washington's coach then? That would be Rick Newheisle. Oh, my God.