Shutdown Fullcast - Shutdown Fullcast 4.37: Nothing But Pain In Every Direction

Episode Date: September 21, 2016

The theme for week four -- which we decided after an arduous twenty seconds of thought --- is that there is nothing but pain in every direction, and that every team playing this weekend can only lose. There are no victories to be had, and only losses of varying degree. Topics explaining this bold thesis! --Oregon playing Colorado, a team they can't beat by enough point to feel good about after a shaky loss to Nebraska --The entire SEC West playing games where someone will lose badly and edge closer to total disaster, and another team will kick the aforementioned team into a canyon --Amazing Gus Malzahn facts that should horrify even a non-Auburn fan! --A vicious hypothetical spin around the SEC coaching carousel that ends with Hugh Freeze at Auburn! We did it, and it didn't even take the introduction of natural disasters or anything like that into the storyline --BYU and West Virginia are playing a football game at FedEx Field. Why? Whyyyyyyy? --A real inquiry into whether Vanderbilt needs to have a football coach or not --USC has already replaced its quarterback, which is a great thing going into a game against Utah on the road. We hope Max Browne transfers, and in the meantime enjoys his stay at USC as irresponsibly as possible. --Why Florida is the Atlanta airport of college quarterbacks --A despondent preview of the Florida/Tennessee game, so: the usual Learn more about your ad choices. Visit megaphone.fm/adchoices Learn more about your ad choices. Visit podcastchoices.com/adchoices

Welcome to the shutdown fullcast. We are previewing week four. Coming up with a theme for this one was a little difficult because we had to decide what do these games mean? It's not a big weekend like week three, not a lot of marquee matchups, but we did sort of hit on a theme. Jason Kirk, college football editor for SB Nation, what was that theme? I like that you said it was difficult because I think it took about 20 seconds. but the theme was this is the week when something goes bad for everybody

just taking a look at this schedule and there's very little there are very few encounters that'll leave with both parties walking away saying that wasn't all that bad if you've ever watched a Clemson Georgia Tech game no one comes yeah no one comes away

happy from that USC plays Utah and if USC loses they'll be one and three if Utah wins or if Utah loses, they'll have lost to a bad USC team. Georgia, Old Miss, no one knows what'll happen. Old Miss could be one in three, one and three, if they lose that game. Iowa and Rutgers, nothing but evil. Florida State of South Florida, if Florida State loses to both Louisville and USF,

oh, you lost at 2007 then. Oh, I mean, there are Ryan Nanny joining us from SB Nation in New York. I mean, you see this, right? Yeah. There are other matchups that follow this pattern. Wisconsin, Michigan State, I feel like if Michigan State loses that, that's pretty bad for them. And if Wisconsin loses, it's like cool. So we're not going to contend for anything of worth in the L.S, meeting LSU was a waste of time.

Boy, Syracuse, Yukon, that just, yep, we're just going to glide on right on past that. Hey, here's a, here's a. I feel bad already. Here's a fun one with bad all over it. Duke Notre Dame. Duke Notre Dame Wisconsin, Michigan State I feel like that's not just

like feeling bad That's physically feeling bad If you're in that game And you walk off the field Too, you're going to limp Penn State Michigan is going to be bad But probably not for most of the reasons we think Because Penn State has essentially zero rushing defense

And I don't mean that in sort of a They're bad at it I mean it doesn't exist Let me give you it's not there at all yeah it's sort of like when the millennium falcon drops out of light speed and they're like what do you mean what do you mean the planet's not there and you're like yeah the death star blew up uh pen state's linebackers sorry speaking speaking of the death star blowing up uh let's take a look at lSU albord oh oh boy yeah at albord at oberd either team that loses

this game it's bad it's real bad i i almost think this is the hottest potential the loser of this is going to be in the hottest seat possible there is there are a couple of exceptions to that one is if old miss loses at home to georgia i think things start to get very uncomfortable for hugh freeze very quickly uh and the other is if colorado beats oregon in eugene who because everyone's pointing like the big trend that most people am pointing to has been, well, Washington. Washington's pretty good. They might finally snap the street to Oregon.

Oh, oh, hold up. Just hold up. Now, I know Cephali Fowl, the quarterback for Colorado, most likely injured, out with some variety of ankle that was given to him by Jim Harbaugh's charitable defense. But, but this is overall a much better team. And guess what Oregon can't do? Oregon can't defend the run. Nope.

At all. South Carolina at Kentucky. Kentucky, which Robbie Calland from CBS was fortunate enough to tell me, Kentucky is favored in this game. What? I mean, it's more a question of why is anybody? This feels like the definition of game that should be a pickum, not as a like, these two teams are equal, but no, we dare you to bet on this game,

you idiot. It shouldn't be legal to bet on this game. Right. It's sort of like saying, you know, death by poise. reasoning or drowning pick them take either one uh we did have one that we thought maybe you'd gone too far yeah uh i wanted to say nebraska going to northwestern but come on nebraska they're not going to lose that game this northwestern team is terrible no one loses the northwestern not even Nebraska yeah this uh so that that that's sort of the border where it's like okay everything comes

back to earth yeah but then after that you got Arkansas Texas A&M, which, oh, man. But I, it's a lot of loses, especially in overtime, that is three years in a row with that exact arrangement, right? But I, I, honestly, I think that's... If A&M loses, then, uh, we got to get Tom Herman in here. See, I think that's the one that is the least bad, like, outcome is automatically bad, because the team that walks away from this game with a loss is, it still only has one loss on the season, still only has one loss in conference play.

Only one loss with the entire SEC West schedule still to go. Yeah, yeah, but like, and we'll have the distinction of knowing that, yeah, they lost to a pretty good team. So let's rewind a little bit here. There's a couple of, there's a couple of theaters of operations I might want to focus on.

The SEC West, the Voluntled SEC West, kind of a mess right now. Yes. Like kind of a mess. and in a I think a way that it hasn't been for a while because I even think Alabama's vulnerable

I know that's blasphemy but I really think after seeing two games of old miss I can definitively state they're not real good not right now they have potential maybe but they have to develop something like a run game and their defense their defense cannot hold up on the back end

it would go good for about eight or nine quarters out of 12 yeah they've had they're they're capable of like one or two real good quarters a game it's just the rest of it that happens to be a problem so i don't think old miss is that good i have no idea about arkansas none absolutely none i know they're three and oh but they could have lost their first game they could have but they didn't and that kind of counts for a lot right now uh yeah it does get you three no i mean Auburn Auburn oh god Auburn Auburn's in a bad place. Auburn is in a dark place, and they host LSU, which is a team more than capable of losing this game. This is the game that makes this. This is such an indeterminate forecast for this game.

Here's the good news if you are an Auburn fan. Everybody talks about, you know, Auburn hasn't won a home game in conference play in a long time, in a distressingly long time. But in that span, the teams to which they've, like the quarterbacks to which they've lost, they've lost to Deshawn Watson, they've lost to Trevor Knight this year. Those are like two reasonably, you know, Deshawn Watson is definitely a lot more than reasonably talented, but Trevor Knight looks competent this year. And last year it was like, yeah, they lost to Alabama at home. They lost to Dak Prescott.

They lost to Chad Kelly. Like, they were losing to good quarterbacks. Do you know what LSU does not have? a good quarterback yeah i mean the one exception is Auburn lost last year to Georgia and i don't care who was playing quarterback that game you lost to a bad quarterback the other question i have here

when looking at the the Auburn thing you have jean you have uh Gus Melzawn fact I almost said you have some you have some colorful Gus Melz on facts would you like to yeah Auburn's losing would you like yeah would you like to share the one

that you unearthed for or the SEC West firing forecast today. Yeah, so this is, this is Gus Malzahn's fourth season. Gene Chiswick got four seasons and no more, no less. And if, if Gus Malzon can win six of the remaining nine games, he will be one game better than Gene Chisick once. And that list of games, I mean, there's, there's a number of sort of, there's basically three gimmies on the schedule.

But then after that, it's sort of like they have to win. Let me pull it up here. All right. So there's the LSU game. We're going to give them. These are the three we're giving them. We're going to say they're going to beat Louisiana Monroe. We're going to say they're going to beat Vanderbilt.

Vanderbilt's very bad. We're going to say you're going to beat Alabama A&M. That all seems fair. Now you have to win three of the following. LSU, Arkansas, at Oldness, at Georgia, at L. at Alabama That's not happening And at Mississippi State

I missed one in there But I It's going to be close If if it let me put it this way Auburn as it is currently constituted Is not winning three of those games Can they maybe figure it out By the time they get to the

Mississippi State Arkansas Old Miss stretch Maybe If they don't though I think we're going to look at the end of the year and say, yep, Gus Malzon has exactly the same record as Gene Chizik and he doesn't have the protection of a national title. Yeah, Jason, I have a question for you.

Can you help me play coaching carousel just a bit? I know it's week three, but I think we already have a pretty good idea of who might not make it. Let's do it. Oh, yeah, because let's start with the aforementioned SEC West. And I just want the full doomsday scenario, okay? Now, even disregard the head-to-head.

Let's assume that you get two jobs open in the SEC West. Two, a good, solid two. And that would be Auburn, because I think that's done if I just had to guess. That Auburn would be done. And then let's assume that you have an open Old Miss job. Old Miss or LSU. If I just give you, I'll let you run the option there, if you like. All right. We have those two. Play that out. Just let's start playing that out in your head in terms of, oh, man. Where do you even start looking for the people with taking those? If you're Auburn, you're looking at Tommy Tuberville, Bobby Petrino and Kirby Smart based on their last like 10 coaching searches. Those were all on the list every time. And I don't think any of those would be a good choice right now. So you're going to start over with a new list actually this time.

um and i mean everybody's going to throw their name in the tom herman pile right but i think people are assuming he's not going to go very far past the gulf coast um and maybe you try to convince it like maybe you move the mobile battleship up a little bit toward uh toward toward montgomery and you know hey look how close we are to water coach um and try to get your name in there um wow um it's it's hard especially when you consider this There's really nothing obvious for Auburn because you don't want to, you still have to contrast with Alabama and Nick Sabin. Like you don't want to go and, oh, Mark Nantoneo, you know, like you don't want to try and be Junior Sabin. Like, I don't know, certain SEC teams are.

Come on. But you all, I didn't mention any names because it would take too long. But you also, I mean, what you've been doing hasn't been working, so you kind of do have to bring it back toward the middle a little bit. Like, even though you gave up on, you know, like we're super Gus fast, we just do, we get out in there and do stuff and, and it's real fun and all that. Can I, can I tell you my dream scenario? Up and start throwing the fucking ball. Maybe you're the SEC team that actually has quarterbacks. Maybe try that.

My dream scenario is that the Auburn jobs open. Washington has a really strong year. Auburn backs up the trucks and says, these are full of money, Chris Peterson. we will pay you an obscene amount of money. God, that would be. And, and. Let me top it here. Chris Peterson says, no, thank you.

I'd rather stay at Washington. And then, based on everything we know about him, like he's probably not leaving that region ever. And probably not for one that is the exact opposite of the lifestyle to which he is acclimated wisely. And then, and then I hope, just because they're nearby, Auburn says, well,

rather than fly all this month, money home let's go see mike leach now we're talking so i think that is um i don't know if that's the right idea but it might be the right train of thought it's just crazy enough to work like a and m's doing fine i have a a dark dark scenario which i think is actually semi plausible given some of the coaching incest that we've had in the cc west in the past are you ready please Auburn as they are want to do strikes out on their first seven candidates right

old miss fires you freeze early and old miss early I'm talking like external SEC West wife swap oh yeah here's what they do they just they don't even consider the NCAA this is just old miss fire in like I'm talking two weeks like you leave

Like, they lose this game to Georgia, and it's all over before the Egg Bowl. So they're just already out. So they get the jump on the coaching search, and they hired their first, their, let's say, fifth candidate, right? Because at Old Miss, you've got to meet like 20 people, and they all have to think that you're swell and have great table manners, okay? So they strike out, and they ultimately get their fifth candidate, who is, yes, somebody who's still offensively aggressive, but somebody who also is not Hugh Freeze and will not, recruit like that uh that would be sunny dykes they have to settle for sunny dykes out of cow okay still aggressive okay yeah yeah all right now this leaves an opening at albert to fill and hugh freeze takes that job okay because if you're an auburn fan you're thinking like listen

like i like the idea of the high school offense but we just got to get dirtier to hang with bama yeah i'm telling you this fills so many slots at once for albair who's been most competitive Alabama head to head. Who's two and one? Hugh Freeze, right? Who will be able to recruit on the same level? Hugh freeze. He freeze.

I didn't say how. I just said he would. Hugh freeze with Auburn's resources, which look it up. It's bigger than Ole Misses. Results oriented. That's all we're saying. Results-oriented recruiting, okay. Resorts-oriented recruiting is Brett Beelma.

That's different. Hey, guys, you want to go to Sandals? And then there's like James Franklin, which is like recruiting-oriented results. Exactly. And who has a program already in place to rehab coaches who might have had a touch or two of the NCAA dengue fever? He frees and Bruce Pearl together at last. This is entirely plausible. And it, mind you, it's already happened before.

who came to Auburn from Old Miss. That would be Tommy Tupperville. Yeah. This would just be history repeating itself. And remember, if the SEC West is nothing else, it's not real creative. Even the dramatic storylines would be rehashed from somewhere else. I like that.

Instead of saying, they'll drag me out of here in a pine box. Like, Hugh Fraser hit him with, like, something biblical. You know, like, I won't be stepping forth out of this tomb until the Lord calls my name on that third glorious morning. Whop! Time to go. Help, roll that rock away.

So it seems I am not here. Or Hugh Fries, in private to his friends and confidants. It's like, I'm out here like Moses out of Egypt, y'all. And that great shining tiger said to me, Phrysus, come forth. Hey man, Pharaoh blew a big lead too. It's no big deal. I'm telling you, that's how it's been.

And you know what? Nick Sabin's been taking every first born out of every recruiting house. Boy, we're going to get into an uncomfortable slavery metaphor real quick here, so we need to move on. And the other part of this exercise was we have to hire for LSU, which like, okay, so Charlie Strong is 2 and 1 with a not so tough Big 12 schedule ahead. I think it's not bold to say he'll stick around. Kevin Sumlin's 3 and 0, good out of conference winning against UCLA. He could be fine as well. like recruiting could really take off for both of them because um when bud elliott was at texas camps

over the summer like he was hearing a lot of kids say we just want to see how texas and a and a m you know like if there's stability there if you know within the next couple weeks we should have that answer and then recruiting takes off and then you say oh well let's just keep them so tom herman to lSU is starting to look like like you know a lot of people are talking about that and uh that's uh well that's terrifying for for everybody because it's not far from his favored area he's going to get a lot of kids out of Houston you have Louisiana all to yourself he actually knows how to score points and via the quarterback position I mean if we're talking comedy that's not the right

answer because that ain't funny for nobody but I guess that's true I think I think more I think you want somebody a little more seasoned than Tom Herman if you're LSU I mean look what he's done in Houston is very impressive but it's a big jump and I think you want somebody with Power 5 experience who's played in big games somebody fiery who is looking to prove himself I thought you were actually being sincere and you're taking I know where you're taking this where am I where am I going no please tell me where I'm going with this you said fiery yeah you said Power 5 experience yeah a lot of experience this is this is this is a great game of guess who we're playing here please no tell me tell me what my car is

says. Brett Bilema. I'm sorry. I thought you were working your way toward a little bit of helping. I thought you were right toward Houston. Not that much experience, sir.

I think it's time to bring Bo Polini back to the big leagues. Yeah. Hey, by the way, where was he before the Nebraska? Oh, he was an out too. Time to bring Bo home. You laugh.

There's an index card. It's got Bo Polini's name on it. And it's in like, spot number nine oh and ls u fan are you tired of all this up and down you know you don't know what kind of season you're going to get doesn't really matter how good your team is you just want to pick a cruising altitude and just park it right there bring bow home because he will get you to a level and stay on it i mean bow listen bow is not going to charge you a ton it's not going to you're not going to pay a ton to pry him away from youngstown the major downside if you hire pope

Paulini, Carl Polini will get Mike the Tiger addicted to cocaine again. Back when they were great. I think Mike could stand to see more of the stadium. Mike's a lot of time in his area. He's better now, isn't he? Mike was going under treatment.

Last I saw he's getting better. I don't think it's a totally treatable thing. I think it's a little terminal in case you're not familiar. LSU's got a tiger with cancer That's a sentence that's just really weird to say But they do They'll pull through You know what

He'll have a good life So it's medicinal cocaine It's fine Yeah he'll get in the He'll get in the truck If he wants to get in the truck That's always been when people say Well Mike hasn't been

You know out in the stadium What's going on If you don't know The vets at LSU will only let the tiger the tiger decides they open the gate and if the tiger wants to get in the tiger gets in and it doesn't want to it doesn't here's the other thing if if the problem at lSU is that you keep bringing in an embarrassment of recruiting riches and nobody can sort of turn them into gold steve spurrier man if you tell steve spruyer you don't have to recruit you don't have to

coach road games even you can do that over the internet but we just need like think about think about the competent quarterbacks steve spurier created in his times at florida and south carolina out of nothing now now tell me you're getting lSU still getting four star five star quarterbacks this is too perfect who's your designated road game caddy steve spurier junior there go done uh let me go ahead and And roll through a few other of these games, of course, pain week here where in the zero-sum game of college football, everyone loses somehow in this week. There are a few other games that are mildly terrifying, I think, for everyone involved. We touched on Texas A&M, Arkansas, just a little bit.

Do we want to touch on it more? I am pausing, by the way, because there's a child crying right outside the fucking door. that's fine all right it's a matter like full on fucking bawling that's a man better better him than us

hold on record him real quick that's our Florida Tennessee preview yeah no okay sorry I do want to touch on a little bit more

because this is a game by the way Arkansas just hasn't won hasn't won at all it's not like like overtime losses not overtime losses if you go back and look at the last five

to seven years it's not been an even exchange for these teams at all um this would be a huge this would be a huge deal for bret belema to win this game yeah yeah i i just this feels like and this is an unfortunate phrase to use regarding bret belema uh both these teams feel like they're playing with house money a little bit the season's going better than i think most people nationally predicted the winner of this is you know looking like a strong silver medalist in the SEC West and the loser is still you know is still in good shape i think i don't know i just don't feel that much anxiety about this game yeah i mean the line for this one opened a it opened it three and it swung to a and m by six which i was surprised to see it open so low it's at a neutral

site it's at jerry world um and i guess people are just counting on it being a close game three years in a row but a andm's got the talent advantage um across the board i know that doesn't always count for a whole lot, but to me, that seems a defining factor of this game. This is the Bud Elliott special of the week, by the way. Among big games, this is the one where you just look at the stars and say, yeah, I'll take that team. Yeah, I will take the team with more recruiting stars. Worked real well for Ohio State Oklahoma last week, so let's just ride Bud Elliott to winnings. Just keep doing that. Just one of the grossest things you've ever said. I did. I did. Even if you, it's a literal ride where we saddle butt up, just grease him up.

sheenie and shiny like a great steed we're going to ride him i hate my life um so much yeah the weirdest game on this week's schedule b yu west virginia at fedex field in maryland hell yeah um man i'm just gonna just strike this one from the record shouldn't have happened i mean yeah why are you at fedex with the likelihood of a fight breaking out both on the field and in the stands strike this game definitely seems like the appropriate phrasing on the field super high in the stands it's like b yu fans just like using all their patience that they've honed over the years and like on on the field it's going to be wild you didn't have you didn't have 150 doors slammed in your face for some cleetus to set you off are you

are you searching for answers to your questions now i'm searching for more shine So if West Virginia loses this game, by the way, the Big 12's only undefeated team is Baylor. Oh, wait. Boy, it's that uncomfortable. I do want to name this BYU versus West Virginia game. I don't think they came up with a name for it. So I'm calling it Mission to the Moon. There it is.

The Mission to the Moon trophy, which will be of a man on Mars. And Purdue right now is so mad, but, well, we don't care about you, Purdue. Well, they usually are. Yeah, what? You land a man on the moon, and you just exchange that for wins down the road. Sorry, how this works. Clemson, Georgia Tech, by the way, massively confusing game at all times. Yeah, always.

This is just a weird game. It's at Grant Field. Remember, Georgia Tech's good for at least one terrifying upset of a ranked team a year. And it's on a Thursday. You know what Paul Johnson likes to do on Thursdays? That's right. He likes to kill moles in his yard, because Thursdays are for killing moles. And he also sometimes likes to upset, Clemsons.

Georgia Tech Thursday games are the like Spanish word that ends in an A but takes L instead of law. It's an exception and you shouldn't pay any attention. Like it doesn't actually teach you anything about the structure of anything. I think, well, the Thursday game at Tech is unique because there is a home crowd, which is rare for a Georgia Tech game. But it's one where everyone didn't have time to leave work and go home to Gwen, a net where every Georgia Tech fan lives and then make it back to the stadium that all just stuck there and they're mad about having to sit in traffic for one hour to drive three blocks to get to the stadium so there will be a home atmosphere like it's it's magic it just it goes from a

from a sleepy oddly shaping like slap together parts of three different stadiums like you didn't you didn't unlock the same parts of the stadiums you're just slapping together stadium A with stadium B and stadium C but it'll it'll be an actual atmosphere so that'll be fun we also have I was gonna can I can I use this segue yeah you ready yeah here we go set it up speaking of oddly shaped TCU is playing at SMU and and that means that that means this what that means on Friday night you get to watch SMU play one really good half of football before they kind of fall off honey baked ham Um, hey, white, uh, White Mike gets to play, uh, another SEC team this, this week. They, Western Kentucky already played Alabama.

Got, you know, didn't, didn't really hang around with Alabama. That's fine. Uh, but this time they're favored. Do you know who they're playing? They're playing Vandy. They're playing Vanderbilt. Are they not on a one and no streak against Vandy? they are on that very same streak um yeah does Vanderbilt need to like pull the plug at this point on Derek Mason well yeah yeah you I mean yes and no like technically but for what well I mean this feels like um so you know you how some teams in the NBA there's a salary floor that you have to sort of pay a certain number of players a certain amount. You have to distribute a certain amount of income. You don't have to hire or assign rather a high-priced superstar. You can get away with just saying like, yep, we got nothing but rejects from other team and scrap and we're just

we're playing for draft position at this point. Vanderbilt has to have a head coach, but that doesn't mean they can't just be like, yeah, we're just going to, you know what, we're going to give somebody the job for 300 grand a year and a parking space. yeah no this is this is interim time this is this is my favorite this is when you get substitute stepdad right this is I don't get I'm gonna look who's I don't even know who's on the Vanderbilt coaching staff right now but I'm gonna you you guys keep going I'm gonna find out who Ed or Geron doesn't just put Ed in there perfect fit perfect cultural fit for the university and and all it's it's academic standards and it's general

it's general populace yeah perfect I guess the idea that he's on the hot seat is like, I mean, what did you expect? Like other than the freakish three last years of the James Franklin era when, like, yeah, sure, the team was pretty good. And you had a future Bachelorette winner at quarterback, which boosted your national profile five years later. Other than that, what standard are you really holding him to? I don't really get it. Like, you're good at defense. Okay, cool, you're good at something.

That's better than you've had. for 99% of your history. I don't know. Why not just ride it for three or four more years? What, what's the harm? Yeah, I don't know. I mean, yeah, that's the, that's a really, that makes me despondent. I mean, I mean, the, the next.

I just don't see the point. The next in the line of succession, I guess, would be Andy Ludwig, the offensive coordinator. And that's a terrible idea. So you know what? Just keep on, keeping on, Vandy. It's cool. Yeah, I don't know. Just take the next two to three months.

Do some homework. Do some things. Size it up. Maybe in three years, Florida and Georgia and Tennessee all have a down year again like they did during your last big weird swing. But what about Kentucky? Oh, man, no, no. I don't understand the question. Yeah, we've said this, by the way, already.

The Mark Stubes might not even be in the building. Might not even be showing up. Like right now? Like right now. He might have left. I mean, he might just be fissioned a diversion and snuck out. That's what I do. At this point, if you know what's going to happen, catch me running.

I think you've got to Ferris Bueller it. You got to, you know, put a dummy in your office chair, set up the answering machine. Just be like, oh, no, I'm really sick. I can't, you know, I'll come to the team meeting later. Yeah, just put any other stoops brother in there. And like once they speak and once they use like the pumpkin pie, her cutted freak accent that they all have, you won't be able to tell them apart. Yeah, just put Jed stoops in there. You know old Jed.

Who's Malk stoops? I've never heard of this. cram stoops I love old cram he's a great linebacker up at Malk State I would I would also

I would also point to to this in the circle of despair between Vandy and between Kentucky everybody pretty much knew this year it's not it's looking pretty bad

with Vandy I would remind you that the entire SEC Media Corps snowed. Yeah. Absolutely snowed by this man. Yeah. That media is like, oh, I play for Derek Mason. He's got things rolling.

Well, yeah. Most media members can't play football, so that makes sense. They might. They might have to. So that's when the media turns on you. Like, we believed in you, Derek. You're 0.6. Get him out of here.

And bring in someone else who can win. That's actually, it's like Vandy's thing. Robbie Caldwell, Derek Mason. Their thing is like, shocking you at SEC media days and then everyone misses your coach um can we go back to the USC game real quick um i'm looking at i'm looking at it right now because there is there is a big thing that happened at USC that we have not mentioned um they've already decided that the max brown era at quarterback is done yeah and we really should mention that shouldn't we i can't remember

the last time i felt so bad for a USC quarterback yeah he just three years he he waited this long to start he got three and and look it should be noted that USC has lost to the number one team in the country and a top 10 team and they've done they've done them both away from the coliseum like for to say yeah max brown has struggled against stanford and alabama that seems fair that seems right in some ways but he's already done and worst of all he's already just sort of like yeah once they put in the younger guy that's kind of the end of it so i sincerely hope max brown just has the best fall semester at usc i hope everybody's super nice to him in classes i hope he just has the most fun at parties i hope he blows off workouts i hope he just

like really really follows his bliss because it is not on a football field yeah uh yeah or it won't be football field at or he transfers to Alabama and leads him to a national title yeah also that'd be fine too sure because that's what that's what everyone does eventually yep you either

transfer to or through or from Florida you got to connect it's like hearts field international you've got to go through there to get somewhere else and you're confused why the food isn't better yep true true and the facilities not underwhelming but you got to go through there that's the point

the act of transferring from florida of course makes you a better football player at what position it's hard to say but you will make money i mean that that said well no i guess i guess you can get a gun into heartsfield as well yeah yeah you can hey hey hey hey hey hey hey you can get it in yeah yeah listen it'll stay in there i'm afraid to say you got to you got to miss the first quarter of your flight though so at least i will say this too with with with USC This will be going to Utah. To Utah, yeah. You don't ever want to do that.

Yeah, you really don't want to go to Rice Eccles, not the entire state. No, I will not cast aspersions on the entire state, parts of it maybe, but not. Utah's good, it's got good hills and stuff. I just mean, I literally meant you don't want to play a football game there. Oh, no. That would be a bad idea, but USC has to do it. Utah, not really, like this is, every Utah team is the same. all of them under Kyle Whittingham

like every single one of them they play good defense they run the ball they have a quarterback who can kind of throw like he looks like somebody who was told what throwing is but had never seen it before it's also a quarterback who like you look up in the media guy and you're like

holy shit he's been playing for the last three weeks on a cracked femur that's insane yeah in his interviews he's like yeah I'm good and every Utah team of course at least once per year just destroys a team that I guess we would probably describe as a fancy, you know, like a real, a real, a real talented, super talented team. And, hey, USC is one of the country's, you know, top three recruiters.

So they kind of fit the bill. Yeah, Utah, Utah comes into your high class modernist Japanese restaurant and ruins the bathroom. I love, yeah, I love this about Utah too, that it's very much in like Western character right to go oh you come in here with your horns swagling offense in your big talk i don't know what accent this is you're doing you're doing linda from bob's burgers i'm totally doing linda this is like this is like billy crystal in the western except he's just billy crystal this is basically like billy crystal doing any accent right billy crystal do a black

guy it's not offensive at all um yeah there's there's there's just Pain is the only way to describe how this schedule is going to play out. And I guess we have to talk about the Florida Tennessee game now, don't we? No, we don't. Please? Should we? Fine, fine, fine. We can discuss this.

I guarantee you here are points of pain in this game. We've already lost our starting quarterback, that being Florida. Luke Del Rio out with a knee injury of some severity. Being a little Belichekian about it is Jim McElwain. However, he was restrained by his own players after seeing the injury and the replay which was yeah a little dirty thanks north texas for that we have austin apple be at starter uh like all great quarterbacks he came from perdu yep so again verifying the florida formula that you have to transfer through florida to get somewhere else kyle orton is a multi-millionaire

look it up it's true call orton's made more money than you will ever make and that is actually true um but austin out go ahead he's he's the starter this yeah i had to look this up for uh another another another podcast I did earlier this week, but Florida, so far the season, yeah, they've played nobody. And yep, Kentucky, you're nobody. Congratulations. This defense has faced 69 passing dropbacks. Nice. There you go. I knew that was coming. And they have 16 sacks, which means that roughly a quarter of the time that a quarterback has dropped back to pass, they get tackled with the ball by a Florida defender. That's like, the one thing that I will be truly shocked by in this game, which rarely has the capacity to shock, is if Tennessee can keep anything resembling a clean pocket for Josh Stops. No, if they're, like, I think it's all but guaranteed they're going to move them.

They're going to move them. They are going to shift him around. They will not let him throw from the pocket. And they're going to run. like they will try jalen hurd is going jalen heard is going to win or lose this game for them on offense because they will not rely on josh dots they can't john i am i am if they pass more than 20 times i am extremely worried about his welfare because one he might not get to 20 he really won't defensive defensively florida rotates like this like you and i are very

hard on florida yes yeah it's not anybody who follows us on twitter knows that and probably hates us for it so uh yeah this is a defensive line that rotates eight deep they they rotate at least eight deep and they they get a ton of pass pressure from the linebacking core and from the secondary and like i i i don't personally think florida's going to win this game uh and i have i don't think that a lot of years and i'm frequently proven wrong um but i do think that josh dobs is not going to beat them yeah i the weakness for let me There's plenty of weaknesses for Florida. We can talk about that.

But Josh Dobbs, Josh Dobbs is he's going to have his hair on fire all day. And that's just from the defensive line. That's before you get into Alex Anzalone or anybody coming from linebackers. And if the ball does get in the air, well, that's a big problem for Tennessee, too, because Florida's corners are superb. They're really good. These are just things that are true about this team that Tennessee has to overcome.

Florida has to overcome a lot itself, i.e. having an offense flying. Sure. Yeah, I mean, that's the flip side of this, is that neither one of these teams can pass protect very well. Neither one has enough of a deep threat to sort of punish you if you over commit to the blitz at this point. They both have good, they both have pretty good special teams play, both in terms of kick coverage and punting. They can't really get much going on return. So this absolutely feels like we're just going to watch them punt in the ball all over the field. Somebody's going to make, you know, a big turnover. Something's going to lead to a score. Maybe somebody shanks a field goal. Maybe somebody has a terrible call go against them.

And I don't know. This has, this feels very much like a 1913 game. And I mean that both in terms of score and in terms of year. Yeah, especially because as a starting quarterback, Austin Appleby, is a largely unproven character. in Florida colors at Purdue, I believe you had 19 touchdowns thrown, and 19 interceptions thrown. But that's sort of like saying, yeah, you know, you were a terrible, you were a terrible quarterback in that POW camp.

Yeah, I would take any Purdue numbers. Like, how many interceptions do you think you just walk on the field with? They're like, oh, look, he's got two I&Ts. You're like, this is his first pass attempt. Yeah, it's Purdue. It's the Purdue handicap. It's like, yeah, it's Harrison Bergeron. they just chain a couple of them to you to start so yeah congratulations so yeah i don't

this is not a this is not a game that you should watch but i not watch jason yeah jason is somebody who has no stake in this game whatsoever what is your estimated number of uh game minutes that you'll watch probably most of it it's it's pretty much the biggest game going on at the time uh let's see let's look at this time slot uh no other games involving well a Penn State Michigan which who man that's going to get ugly quick I'll watch almost all this to be quite honest huh please don't for my sake well we don't we only have so many minutes of uncle Vern left in our in our viewing time so I mean nah no this this would be fine

you watch pit North Carolina is going to be great you'll watch that instead can we wrap up can we wrap up with a few questions to watch the paste the pre-taste of Florida, Tennessee out of our mountains. Please, let's... I wanted to start with Probably Monty's question. At Probably Monty, here in Montgomery.

Where's the best coach firing potential this week? It's Oregon-C-U, isn't it? Yeah. That's up there. Yeah, I mean, if you... Other than Ellis through Auburn, yeah. If you had to say, if one team loses this week and that's the end of it

for this coach, I think that's one of them. um if south carolina beats kentucky that will be up there as well although that's got a lot of like weird buyout stuff i i think that was like fade accompli right like that's they're already they have to already be doing the paperwork on that right so this is like fired now right not right um or or usher you to an early exit quicker than expected um yeah looking at i mean a lot of the teams with bad records are just playing starting over you know yeah Hugh free Hugh freeze at one and three, though. I'll throw this one. If Duke

beats Notre Dame, I don't think Brian Kelly's getting fired. I know Brian Van Gorders getting fucking fired. Yep. Oh, yeah. All right. What else we got? I have, let's see, following

up on that, from at D-A-A-R-A-W do. Could Clay Hilton get the Lane Kiffin L-A-X treatment if he loses to Utah? Oh, yeah. sure you know why it's USC I assume they're capable of anything because you know what they left lane kiffin at an airport well yes but that was a different athletic director this is you know a former football player who ran for political office in pennsylvania

i think we're saying head coach lynn swan can i can i can i sure can i give you this um who hired clay helton was it lynn swan no no no it was not no It wasn't Lynn Swan. Do you think Lynn Swan talks to Clay Hilton much? Maybe in like real casual ways. Oh, like holiday cards? Sure, let's go with that. I don't think they've gotten a holiday together yet.

Did they do cards for like the 4th of July? Sure. Do you think T. Martin regrets sticking around? Yes. Yeah. I'm sure he does. It really hasn't. You know, his name.

like there was a spell there where everybody was like yeah t martin's really doing some good things at u sc and just nobody talks about t martin anymore i can't imagine by the way how checked out a checked out u sc team could get it's like a checked out miami team because if you are a checked out player in a place where there's nothing to do you might reengage you might say i have nothing else to do i might as well be a pretty good football player in los angeles or miami oh you can you can Check all the way off the reservation, buddy. Yeah. That'd be so sad of Clay Helton.

God can't. But if that happens, you know who they have to hire as the interim, Clay Hilton. So he's good to go. Don't worry about Clay Hilton. He's like a starfish. As long as part of his radial center is there, he can regenerate. And he keeps an arm in his office, so he'll never go away. I got one more.

It's like goddamn Wolverine. When you cut his head off, head will just like crawl back to his spine. Yeah. It's the Deadpool of the Pact 12. At VT. Ben wants us to remember something. Please remind your listeners that FSU kicked a field goal down 46 points in the fourth quarter. I would like to do what the people want. I want to give our audience what they demand.

What they demand is to hear that Florida State kicked a field goal when they were down by 46 points in the fourth quarter. Is this our the Warriors came back? or fell worth up 3-1 and Phil no yeah i'm going to make it my i'm going to make it my new twitter background because it suggests it suggests that florida state was up at some point in this game um i do well i mean maybe it does i do want to i just want to know that i really need to know what the circumstances of this i'm sorry that i'm holding us up here but the circumstances well i think it was in the course of a 43

point historically bad loss. Sure. To Louisville. I mean, it could have been... I enjoy this, by the way. This is how downtrodden Flores Day fans were when they ran face first into this. I only had one person who said,

oh, yeah, I bet you're just bad that you know you're not going to score that many on us. As if I, as if you can hurt me at this point, as a Florida fan. As if there's some blow that we have not hit at this point.

I mean, never been shut up by way. for us but you know other than that