Shutdown Fullcast - Shutdown Fullcast 4.42 - The Unbearable Sadness of Rutgers

Episode Date: October 10, 2016

Week six is done, and so is Rutgers football after losing 78-0 to Michigan. Topics! --The Notre Dame/NC State game, a.k.a. THE BEST 10-3 GAME EVER and MORE PROOF YOU SHOULD JUST PUNT AND HOPE YOUR OPPONENT DOES SOMETHING STUPID --"Will Notre Dame make a bowl game?", a question we actually have to ask at this point --Notre Dame could miss a bowl game this year --How many points can we make about Notre Dame being horrible and Brian Kelly being a wretched man, well, how many points ya got --A SALUTE TO RUTGERS SURVIVING AN EPIC DEFEAT SO BAD IT BECAME NEAR-NOBLE --A discussion of what did and didn't make sense in Tennessee/Texas A&M. Tennessee had seven turnovers and almost won! Guess which category this falls into here! --A deep analysis of how the LSU/Florida game played out --The Count of Monte Cristo Game, which you may also call the Washington/Oregon game, or also call the most thorough debacling of a rival this year (unless you call Rutgers/Michigan a rivalry) ( Learn more about your ad choices. Visit megaphone.fm/adchoices Learn more about your ad choices. Visit podcastchoices.com/adchoices

Welcome to the shutdown fullcast. Joining you from a Monday. Hey, why are we recording on a Monday? Why is everything so screwed up, Jason Kirk? Apparently it's Columbus Day, which I just learned like five minutes ago while talking to Spencer and Ryan, but did not learn upon observing my household and discovering my wife and daughter were home on a Monday, even though they're usually not. That's how observant I am.

It took someone literally telling me, today is a holiday. day for me to grasp the calendar, I guess. Yeah, that and everybody nobody has child care today basically. So that's why everything is late and everything is bad

because we have the blessings of children and family. Because remember this is the shutdown Dadcast and we are now all subject to the weather of great dadding. I.e. waking up this morning to literally both kids beating on me

and the oldest going Daddy you sound like a drum and the youngest going That's how I woke up With four little hands Not going subtle by the way Going hard Like hitting me as hard as they possibly could

Those are two strong boys One's like a whip One's like a hammer That's how I woke up I'm gonna call you big timpony From now on yeah that's a big company tune me up because i wake up i wake up being human tyco drum so that's why everything's late here on the internet's least coordinated college football podcast so i would say you

woke up and you immediately knew what it felt like to be the texas defense this is a quality segue this is exactly what you pay for well i was going to say um he's got a big drum so we found another thing Spencer has in common with Purdue. Wow. Wow. Yeah, that's it. Somewhere between 200 and 700 pounds. What's even better is that I could be equally convinced to start with the Red River

Shootout or Purdue, Illinois. I could go either way with this. They kind of went about the same. No, I'd say Purdue, Illinois had more intrigue. It did have a triple icing of a kicker. So that's, all right. So we're starting. with Purdue, Illinois. I agree. Great.

No, this is a grand veto. We can't. I'm not even going to entertain this joke. Darrell Hazel saved up all this timeouts for the end and then cashed them in all at once. And the shit worked. Illinois's kick missed. And then Purdue won in overtime after Lovie countered with only one icing. That might get it done in the NFL. Lovie. That ain't going to cut it here in the Big Ten. I mean, I wouldn't say Lovie got it done in the NFL, but point three. taken he attended a super bowl sir and i'm sure he single iced mini a kicker along the way

but here in the big ten those roads have to be just glazed with a foot of ice to really to really get it done spencer let me let me give give me one chance to draw you back into this game all right this with this win peru has a better record than notre dame are you there now uh are you there now let me let me let me add a little something um the four FBS teams in the state of Indiana, here are the ones with better records in Notre Dame. Indiana, do, ball state. How many FBS schools are there in Indiana?

There are four. Yeah, okay. So Notre Dame is in last, you're saying. Notre Dame is last in the Indiana standings. Oh, my. Okay, can we talk about what Colts record is, though? Sweet Christ. They're fighting for, they're fighting for, they're fighting for

the ranch bowl state trophy i would like to point out by the way that uh brian kelly's just absolute garbage right now i don't know about consistent garbage they get enough things piling up where i go oh look you got a proper dumpster fire of a human being there right i don't know him personally let's point that out we don't know i mean none of us hang out with brian kelly right i'm asking i don't i don't like to brag about it no no i don't no okay cool meaning you do but you're gonna protect it that's okay you're friends i understand this you were grand valley state together the cradle of all fine football thought that's why we have you on this podcast yeah little known in addition to being a uh an attorney at one time ryan nanny tight nancy coach yeah quality control

person and tight ends coach under brian kelly at several stops including Cincinnati which is why he has such an affection for that delicious diarrhea on a shovel they call skyline chili wow that i should end this i should end the sky call right now but i'm going to be a good teammate and keep going because you just you just did the brian kelly thing and threw me under the bus perfect on the tables of turn oh physician heal thyself oh boy um yeah but yeah this is this is this is this is this is brian kelly in reaction to uh notre dame which by the way i want to ask again what did they do this weekend in my favorite game they they threw the ball a lot in some very sloppy conditions.

Well, it's not even just a lot. It's the percentage. Because Notre Dame only got, in a driving rainstorm, right, basically playing in a tropical storm level of weather. They didn't get

many plays. They only got, I believe, 64 plays total on the day. And out of those 64, they passed 26 times. Now, that may seem judicious. Let me remind you, they were playing in a tropical storm with standing water on the field, which the field

held up, by the way, like, shouts out to NC State's like greenery department. Turf management, yeah. Turf management. I was told this is my favorite thing, by the way. If you talk about like a specific school's weird area of expertise and or non-liberal

arts area of expertise, people will accost you, congratulate you, and want you to know as much as possible about those. Like on Twitter, I was like, oh man, the field looks great. And I got like 10 people who immediately like, we have a great, great grass development program. It's amazing.

We make the best golf courses. It's like when you mentioned Texas A&M and meat. Everybody goes, yeah, we got a bushery. Here's our, here's meat science. Like you'll get 15 people who are like, come on down, we'll give you a dead cow. But then you get UC Davis fans in your mentions, and you don't want that.

Oh, listen, you get competing. You get Penn State going, well, we got a creamery too. You get A&F, you get like Mississippi State Bowl and then they're like, yeah, well, we do pig real well. We got a whole pork sciences program. I learned so much, just from people getting super enthusiastic about their cow killing programs. Anyway, Notre Dame might want to consider a grad program in Snap Physics at this point, so. Yeah, or beef.

Or like nautical engineering, because this is the second straight year in a row that they've had to play an ACC game in a literal hurricane. It's like the ACC's, um, process or something, the kids from Indiana have to go play in Atlantic Coast hurricanes? Yeah, I love it, though, because not only was this disaster viewing, like, fantastic football in the sense of I like watching people attempt to execute a game under the worst possible conditions, it was also great because NC State's

entire game plan was, we're going to wait for someone else to make a mistake, that someone else being Notre Dame. That was it. They played this like it was 1939, Texas Tech versus, I believe, Presbyterian. Was that the game that featured 39 punts? With, I think, 26 of them on first down or something? Just, just an embarrassment of a game, yeah. Yeah, that was 1939 Texas v. Centenary, okay?

where in a driving storm with horrible rain, both teams punted 77 times, sometimes on first or second down. And just hoping for people to make a mistake. That was NC State's game plan, and that happened. That was exactly how they ended up scoring. That was exactly how they ended up winning this game. The score was, was it a block punt run back or something like that?

A club snap? I think it was a drop snap. These teams are going to combine three of 29 on third down. God, it was great. And every time, my favorite, defensive linemen scrambling for fumbles. Oh, it's so rich. It's just like seals hitting the beach, right? Or penguins on ice.

On their belly. God, it's beautiful. And now we are faced with the prospect of, is Notre Dame going to make a bowl game? But the fluteron. side is who is going to suffer who left on the schedule is going to suffer a loss to a really embarrassing mismanaged Notre Dame team and have to feel the shame of it at this point because at this point it's just Syracuse and Nevada and both of them are probably fine with it on balance

yeah let me give you who let's just let's roll through a lot of these let's roll through that rest of that schedule because there are some there are some really legitimately at this point Notre Dame could just hope to ruin someone's season. Yep. And they've got many opportunities to do this. Because everyone else in their schedule, save for their next opponent, is having a great season.

Stanford, my beautiful forestry, Stanford, oh, my alpine. We'll get to them. God damn it. It's my fault, isn't it? Yeah, it is your fault. You got on board, and you immediately... I must champion.

them i turned them into a must champ team well no their defense isn't that good never mind it's not my fault uh yeah i would i don't know everything that's wrong with stanford other than they appear to have a wasting disease it's not a tapeworm i'm fine um yeah but i don't even know if if the nice part for notre dame was the ugliness of that game was so clearly overshadowed by I mean, let's just get this one out of the way. Michigan Ruckers. Oh, yeah. Yeah, man.

I want to devote, like, I want to devote, like, an hour to that. This is a three-hour podcast day. That's more, that's more time than Ruckers devoted to that game. True. Yeah. This game, it was so bad that this was happening at the same time as Florida State, Miami. Possibly the actual, like, best game of the weekend in terms of quality and not lasting five hours because you know the A&M Tennessee was good but it lasted five hours yeah um FSU

Miami was good important stakes everyone knows the rivalry all that stuff more people on the timeline were watching Michigan Rutgers yeah which Rutgers had six yards for until like the fourth quarter because anyone like everyone will turn out for a house fire right it was hey I think that I think the Thompson's house is on fire let's go down the street but this was this is like a house fire if the fire department showed up and started spraying the house with gasoline. Yeah, this was, this was like Crassus in Rome, when he would go and set a house on fire, and then you would pay him to put the house out, right? That was Harbaugh, and Rutgers said no, right?

Rutgers had their house set on fire. They're like, yeah, that's too expensive. We won't pay a dime. But your Rutgers and the Big Ten checks haven't started fully rolling in yet. You're still like, didn't they scrap? That was Maryland scrap sports to get in. Rutgers just broke two dumb scrap sports. Yeah, exactly. They're just running

they're running this into the ground. You know how those Yankees do business. They're so smart. I think what is most confusing to me about this game is that Michigan had more points than plays run which is fucking hard to do. Yeah, no, they broke. This is one of those

games where they break math, right? And they did it in a real good way. It's the carnage of this is I mean Ruckers has one guy who can catch passes for what this is two weeks in a row

that Ruckers has had a receiver with catches in a game That's right Joanne Harris Can't do it all by himself y'all John Harris Yeah I'm too hot

Yeah well let's come back to this I want to go through With Notre Dame by the way rest of their schedule To figure out A how they get bowl eligible And we just said that B, if they can ruin someone's season

and man, they really could because there's some people having real good years on here including a couple that honestly like I don't want them to beat at all. I would like them to lose badly to like Army. Armies on this schedule. Army's having a good year for Army. They're not going, by the way, they're not going to lose Army.

And if they do lose to Army, they should fire Brian Kelly. They somebody should is, should will not enter the equation at that point. I think you don't beat Navy. army you got to pick one of those to lose too now that's the thing i mean navy navy just beat houston we all thought navy would fall off uh whoops nope there navy's good again yeah that and remember if the triple option is working you can't do anything it's just if you're not houston had one of those nights with the triple option where uh they really should have understood the math and it just wasn't happening yeah you get you get you get heads or tails coin flip on

whether the option is going to work. When you play two option teams, the math is against you. Yeah. So Stanford, who is deplorable at this point as a football team, they probably could win that game. I don't want to assume too much, but probably do. You probably don't want to watch this game. No. No.

Yeah. Versus Miami. You get Miami in Notre Dame. Miami, I know they just lost the Florida State. They're probably still a more together team at this point. that's right yes sure i mean this is this is close to a toss up i just give miami a slight edge i think the the tricky part i mean miami will have a decent amount of rest coming off that because they have uh they have a thursday night game at virginia tech nine days before that said they might you know

they might come out of that virginia tech game super beat up also uh miami uh just dismissed a freshman wide receiver today for repeated violations of team rules. So things are going pretty Mark Ricked in South Florida right now. This is the combo of Mark Rick losing control, which is the code word for Mark Rick establishing control because the internet, that meets the U is back. So it's like perfect combo, Notre Dame's losing that game. I like to imagine that Mark Rick picked up every piece of trash that Miami fans threw out in the field at the end of the game.

I love, by the way, that that even happened that Miami fans were so angry. I know immediately being hurling those aluminum bud-like torpedo bottles, right? Over like a totally fine call. That was the best part. The call was fine, but they're so mad, they filled the end zone with garbage and delayed the game.

Speaking of Virginia Tech, yeah, they're also on Notre Dame schedule after that Army game, November 12th and they looked they looked very good beating UNC yeah also in rain by the way like I feel like you have to grade that game on a curve because they

they kick some ass and they did it in horrendous conditions they ran the ball 66 times yeah compared these two teams Virginia Tech and Notre Dame who play in a month or so they played in the same weather similar conditions Notre Dame scored three points Virginia Tech scored what 35

yeah 34 I think 34 30 yeah but uh so 10 times better than Notre Dame in awful condition. So what we're saying is that if they play this in a hurricane, then we're going to get a 90 to 4 game, 90 to 6, something like that. Stick with 4. It's more interesting. 4. Okay, good. And then they play USC, who two weeks ago I would have told you this game might be a Notre Dame win.

Donald's coming along at quarterback. USC's not playing bad football. They're the second or third best team in the back 12 right now? um it really depends on the week man like yeah sometimes Utah looks really good sometimes cow looks really like there are a lot of it is really sort of just a rotating cast of like hey who wants to be good in the pack 12 this week we're sort of i mean it's like it's like a youth soccer team and it's like everybody gets a win okay we're making sure everybody gets a win and gets invited to the pizza party nobody's getting left behind even Oregon state you get one we promise the parents yeah all we know is Arizona is not in that group

Well, there is that. The only thing we know about the Paxwell. Hey, maybe Rich Rod should have taken the South Carolina job. I'm just going to throw that out there. Let's not go that far. Okay. You know what? You know what?

I'd be a hell of a lot more interested in South Carolina football right now if he had. I would too because they hired somebody who I don't need to watch. I mean, to be frank, I don't know if I need to watch that at all ever. Like, until they fight, like, I just, that's not, I'm, I'm losing words. Your speech pattern is turning into a South Carolina drive at this point. We're just like, all right, there's two words. All right, three words there.

Yeah, Spencer's going to punt on this sentence. Yep. I punt. Close enough. Good job. I punt. If you want to stay. All right, so to round out the Notre.

So we've listed all the Notre Dame opponents left on the schedule. Given that they've already lost to a mission. Michigan State team that really looks bad after losing to BYU, a Duke team that, as we remind you, lost the UVA. NC State has a decent record this year, and it's sort of, I still is maybe in that TBD category. And, oh, right, the opening loss to Texas, which, how'd they do this weekend? That would be Texas losing. They covered.

They covered. I mean, they covered. And remember, champions cover. Good teams win. Great teams covered. I mean, you say they covered, but I also watched what Oklahoma was able to do in the passing game. So I strongly disagree with that argument. They have a fully functional D.D. Westbrook and that's it almost, there were points in that game where it was like, oh, Oklahoma is just playing 500 at this point.

And the only hope Texas's secondary has is that they yell cherry bomb and the wide receiver doesn't hear it and catches it anyway, which means it's a turnover. communication issues, yeah. Can I tell you, can I tell you something, by the way, just merging this with something that just came across the Twitter timeline? If you wonder, looking at Oklahoma, this is just going to postpone people being pissed off at Stoops. That's all this does. Sure.

Because Oklahoma's going to blow another couple of games down the road, largely because they can't defend either. It's kind of illusory what you saw in the Red River rivalry shootout. I know that's a shock to everyone who's. familiar with the completely random and irrelevant results of this rivalry across a long historical span. But the real problem with Oklahoma is that they can't defend and who's the coordinator that would be Mike Stoops, who's Bob Stoops' brother, my favorite thing in college football,

when you hire someone in the family, and then have to fire them. This is the second funniest scenario because this is someone's brother. It's not your dad. Because remember, Lane Kiffin did that. That's why Lane Kiffin's a winner. Yeah, we overlook this. Lane Kiffin fired his dad and had to. I don't even want to get too mean about it because sometimes you got to fire dad.

It's like a, isn't that a Buddha thing? Like he says, like meet the dad, fire the dad. Right? Yeah, there's something Buddha said along those lines. I mean, I think you're thinking of Star Wars, but it's the same thing. Sure, all the same, all the same shit. Should we go back to Michigan Ruggers?

I think we really mind this. I feel like, yeah, that's like... Mind this vain enough. Well, what Michigan Ruckers is, it's like the toxic waste dump that we can only go in for five minutes at a time, but we're going to keep going back and taking more sample.

It's, it's, this, this is the Shernoble of 2016 college football where we're like, wow, there's some super fucked up animals that resulted from this Michigan Ruckers game. game. Nobody can live in Rutgers football for 30 years. But man, you get some really somber pictures from this that'll look great on Shutterstock. As soon as this game ended, we put up the 15 most disgusting stats from this game. Let me just run through a few. 78 point margin was the worst in a game involving two FBS teams of this millennium. That's per the sports

reference database, which only goes back to 2000, meaning it is among Any game that the public can search, it is the worst FBS loss ever. They've been worse, but... Rutgers had six yards of offense in the first half. At one point. Which ESPN said was the fewest in two full years. The previous game was Wake Forest, Boston College. Rutgers didn't get a first down until the fourth quarter.

Michigan had more touchdowns than Rutgers had first downs. um yep michigan's fullbacks had four touchdowns they were just it was like a layup line of full backs um yeah

Rutgers completed two passes Rutgers planted 16 times which was number two on the all time list of Michigan opponents um the previous number two I think was a 1938 game against Chicago which stopped playing football like the next year which Rutgers might want to do

but just just a just a just a sampling of the numerical carnage there. It's just this was my favorite sort of live event that people tuned into because people were again just bird dogging and pointing to it as in

you need to go see this. You need to see this happening. And when I turned it on it lived up to everything that was advertised. Michigan's defensive linemen started in the backfield. I don't know how. I know they lined up but before the whistle even started they were in the backfield Rutgers running the ball

on first and second and often third down just trying to get out of this situation punching themselves in the face to knock themselves out to get out of the fight that was

that was Rutgers and if you if you've never been on a team that's lost like this and anything and most teams haven't no most people haven't

most of us as unathletic and sad as we are, have not experienced this level of ass whooping. Most FCS teams have never had this happen. This was, if Michigan played a Division II team, there's no guarantee Michigan would win by 78. Maybe that's the way to think of this. Maybe you think of it not so much as Rutgers joined the Big Ten as Rutgers became the Big Ten's permanent FCS game and gets paid accordingly.

I think Rutgers joined the Ivy League. God, they wish. oh wow this is this is brutal this is just it makes me it makes me really concerned for what jim harbaugh would do given like an ounce of police power we can never yeah no yeah harbord no harbaw should not be trusted with any level of power above what he currently has and frankly frankly it may be too much right now i think football was worth being invented and all of the bullshit it's generated was worth it um just to silo him in a relatively safe environment years later it would contain jim harbaw we've got quarantined never let him escape because like

imagine jim harbaugh with access to a nightstick and a a warrant database personally, trying to apprehend every suspect himself. Just horrifying. I do, yeah, I do want to salute Rutgers, by the way, for surviving. Like, literally, I'm very proud of Rutgers because they were not openly crying. They were in some state of endurance and noble defeat that I hope to never understand. I don't want to get this kind of knowledge, but I do respect those. who have it again five yards passing um so can we talk about the game that i still don't know

what to take away from really oh yeah and that would be texas a and m tennessee uh 4538 in double over time and i keep going back and forth as to like whether whether to take away more positives for tennessee or for a and m or who sort of blue who sort of got lucky to win this game because there are really compelling arguments on either side and I don't and I can't settle on it and it just sort of feels like there was something fitting about this game ending ending in double over time with Tennessee making an unnecessary like a kind of a stupid turnover because that was basically the margin of difference between these two teams I think I don't know I honestly have no read on this while watching this game I thought okay you know this is finally the game where

uh, Tennessee is unlucky. A&M is lucky to be, you know, to have built this cushion and lucky to hold on to it and all that. But upon further review, I mean, this was Tennessee playing out Tennessee has played all year. It just finally came back to haunt them. Like they led the country in fumbles. So when they lose all those fumbles, you can't go and say, oh, well, we finally got unlucky. No, you finally got your ass caught. And these were, these were particularly brutal. The thing you were getting away with finally came, you know, finally had consequences. So, I mean, this was Tennessee. playing a Tennessee game just without the

you know without all the breaks going their way it also felt like every and still it took all those bouncing into A&M hands who still had three turnovers of their own for it to even make it to overtime it felt like every turnover Tennessee had was the most brutal for it like

there was no oh it's third and 28 and you threw an arm punt all of every turnover felt like oh this guy's running in the open field and he's at the eight and, oh, now he fumbled, and, oh, you just found a man over the middle, and nope, bounced off his hand somehow, went for, like, they were all the most consequential version. All turnovers suck, but there are definitely some that you can just say, well, you know, that didn't really change a lot in terms of what could have happened in this game, and it felt like every Tennessee turnover, obviously, including the last one, were all major swings in terms of likelihood of victory. Well, I actually, let me be the dissenting voice here.

Okay. I get this game. Everything here seems, all right, everything save one thing seems totally comprehensible, and even then I can condition it, because this is a Texas A&M team that runs the ball better than it passes it, which is weird, but that's where they're at. And they did that. They ran for 300 plus yards, right? Actually, hell, 353, they ran the hell out of the ball. So that makes sense to me. Trevor Knight made

you know decent plays in the past game and also threw two picks that makes sense to me they got a buttload of yards on Tennessee well that makes sense because Tennessee if you don't notice and if you happen to be picking them for further advancement Tennessee's losing a

basically a half a layer of their depth chart a game they are just piling up injuries it's World War I levels of attrition at this point it's not great yeah and I mean that seems to be that that that's the part that amazes me uh bob schoop doing an outstanding job with very few moving parts malik foreman being like a player who alternately made huge mistakes in this game and yet came away playing really well in the end so and he's coming on uh not it wasn't even

a full-time starter at the beginning of the season um in the defensive secondary so i get that i also get by the way the other thing was texas a nm's defense gave up a A horrendous amount of yardage. Like, just they gave up, I believe, 684. They gave up a massive amount of yardage. Well, Tennessee happens to be really good on offense and getting better. And Josh Dobbs, Josh Dobbs is so underrated. Like, if you see that number and you go, oh, man, Texas A&M's defense wasn't all that.

I mean, I would understand that if you had not watched Josh Dobbs and you'd not watched the trajectory that he's been on particularly in terms of getting out of the pocket, checking tackles, and making things happen downfield. He's also thrown across the middle of the field pretty well, thanks to play action and having a decent run game. They did all of this without Jalen Hurd. Jailen Hurd didn't even make the trip. Alvin Kamara. Alvin Kamara was a beast in this game.

Yeah, it was interesting seeing them forced to go from Hurd to Kamara, who is their superior running back and has been for at least a year now. But they like to lean on the, you know, the steady four yards of carry guy. But, you know, other than like a fumble or two, Kamara was, you know, a lot like Malik Foreman, a player who made like a glaring. mistake or two but just had an amazing game and vernon gary kept pointing this out but he he has like this um minor barry sanders quality of being able to just keep a run going whether it's sticking a hand down finding his balance along the sideline he did that against uh in a previous game was it against florida along the sideline uh yes yes it was it was yeah just just an amazing player when it comes to stringing a play along like a like a tony hawk combo and and josh dobs is kind of like

that as well, you know, through two picks and the efficiency wasn't quite there, but I thought this was his best game of the year, you know, even throwing two picks in a loss. Ran well through, you know, through 398 yards on the road against a five-star defense. Caught a touchdown. Yeah. If you're into that. Yeah, the other thing here, too, is when you look at defensive numbers in a game like this, with both offenses running at least some hurry up, not consistent.

consistent hurry up, but doing that from time to time and being productive, your defensive numbers are going to bloat. You have to be concerned more about efficiency and, you know, and, you know, your guards per play. Yards for play, you get up there. It's like 6.9. But point being, this all makes sense to me. This is a game between two evenly matched teams who with some wrinkles are pretty similar offensively in terms of what they have at quarterback and where their strengths are, i.e. running back. And in terms of having good wide receivers. This is...

Do you have any confidence in either one? Because these are Alabama's next to opponents. Do you have any confidence that either one of them can beat Alabama? Yeah. And if I'm just betting numbers, this is without getting too... Without getting too fictional, you have to think Texas A&M is the one to do that. Because Texas A&M, they don't have the injuries that Tennessee has. You can get psychological about it and say, well, Tennessee is the rival and they've got, you know, this history.

And they've got... Sure, that's cool. they might not have the bodies and frankly And Bama is not the team that you don't want to have the bodies against Right because remember even if Alabama has a bad day They've got way more insurance against a bad day than you do Now I will also say everyone can turn the ball over four or five times in a game Or seven if you're Tennessee and give it enough time

And Alabama hasn't really done that yet Alabama has a lot of ways to make up for mistakes But it's very hard to overcome turnovers Like Tennessee committing seven turnovers and almost winning this game is statistically one of the more astonishing things you will see all season. Did either of you watch Alabama, Arkansas, because I'll be honest and say, I skipped it entirely based on the opening quarter and what everybody on Twitter was saying about, like, yeah, just don't bother with this one.

Yeah, unnecessary. I watched the second half on replay, late, late Sunday, or early, early, early Sunday morning. and it's pretty much what you have come to expect from this team that even offensively if they're not picking you apart that you'll make a mistake and defensively they'll tear you and do one you know Austin Allen Austin Allen threw for 400 yards on this team and I just you look at that and think there's room here I know you got out early I know that you called the dogs off right you're Alabama do you ever really call the dogs off do you ever really try to get out of there I just don't think so I think this is a team that you can still pay you pass on, I think fundamentally that's Alabama's weakness just by design. That's how their offense, that's how their defense works. So you've got to pick on

the secondary and you've got to try to move the ball, get your quarterback out of the pocket and make some things happen. Austin Allen, by the way, also threw three TDs. He did a pretty good job. He's going to be really good. You know, they got behind early, yeah, but they ended up playing, I think Arkansas ended up

playing reasonably well. They didn't run the ball at all, but remember what Alabama is supposed to stop? The run. That's what like to do first and they do a real good job of it. Bama had a hundred yard pick six here even if you take that away they still win but let's just say for the sake of argument that you take that away

and then it's only a five point win pretty impressive pretty impressive day by Arkansas I'd say in a 19 point loss but the most impressive thing that happened was an Arkansas professor arrested for disorderly conduct and public intoxication

because he started cursing out Brett Bielma. I was going to say Minka Fitzpatrick being the best wide receiver on the field, but you're correct. You're right. I'm wrong. Arkansas, I mean, I know this isn't a preview episode, but boy, it could turn dark for Arkansas pretty quick and the whole November thing. Let's, I don't know.

They, their next game, they host Ole Miss, which continues to look very, extremely competent on offense, at least. then they go to auburn which Auburn very quiet like Gus Malzahn very quietly it was just like yeah let's just uh throw some ice cubes on this hot seat okay everything's fine and then they go they host Florida which at that point

maybe Florida's healthy and good although again all of this I feel like when we're talking about SEC schedules moving forward all of it should be subject to unless the SEC decides to play some amazing game of Chinese checkers with the schedule at this point. Which that brings us to LSU, Florida,

which was pretty unmemorable, I thought. Yeah, both teams didn't really show a lot on offense. Not a lot on offense. I thought both defenses did a really good job. LSU obviously was ambitious and it's traveling, but didn't really make it very far. I was really disappointed. just staying in one place.

I was really disappointed in the Florida crowd, to be honest. I felt like they weren't there. They didn't really get into the game. And what's the point of having a home game at the swamp if you're not going to get that noise and get that passion going on? It was totally dead. I thought it was the best day for Florida Special Team since that Idaho game a couple years ago.

Yeah. Yeah, I also thought, you know what? what, at Orgeron, I think he's, I think he might get that job. Team just seems to be up for him, playing real well. They just, you know, they did it. They just seemed composed. They, I hear what you're saying, but on the other hand, you know, Florida still, still has a very clear path to win the SEC East. That's, that's a little too silly even for this program, right?

I'm sorry. I'm sorry. um let's talk about let's talk about some of these other pack 12 games real quick um oregon you got boy you got count of moni cristoed that's what happens here chris peterson was was yeah he clawed his way out of that island prison in in boise how's that an island that's what that's what the blue on the field signifies water like when a goose goes in and and sits on their field thinking it's in a lake that was Chris Peterson for years he didn't realize the field was he could he could just leave he thought he was stuck you're telling me there's water elsewhere that's it is Chris Peterson moving to that was Washington pitch they showed him look you can from our stadium you can see actual water the biggest ocean in the world whoa

Chris Peterson just absolute yokel Yeah You guys got a beach Yeah it's where the land meets the water I can leave Can I drive a boat to work? By the way remember that Steve Sarkis and used to brag about driving a boat to work It sounds safe

So Oregon gives up Over eight yards of carry They Jake Browning finishes with as many touchdowns as incompletions in this game. This is just... This, Oregon's so

bad right now. Like so, so, so, so bad. Washington scored at least two touchdowns in every quarter of the game. They outscored Oregon in every quarter of the game. This, it was I don't even... Washington only faced nine third

downs in the entire game. And they converted five of them. It, this is just, it doesn't have the same level of savagery that Rutgers, Michigan has, but Oregon's not Rutgers. I was just going to point out the connection there. Brady Hoax's current defense gave up 70 points. Brady Hoax's old team scored 78 points. And he'll be hired again somewhere else soon. Your appropriate Brady-Hoke swing there is a negative is, what was 148 points. 148 points.

You quantified the Brady-Hoke difference. 148. In one week. In one week. My favorite part of this game was the photo, I think it was by the Seattle Times, of Jake Browning running into the end zone and pointing directly in an Oregon player's face with no retribution whatsoever. Oregon just knows, okay, your dad again. The 90s are back.

Okay. We're dressed up like Cal. You want to play the same game for Oregon? Can they make a bowl game? Well, I mean, the Pac-12, of course, every game is a coin flip, as long as it doesn't involve Washington or Arizona. Or Washington playing Arizona going to overtime? That's the weirdest result yet.

Or maybe Washington State. I will maybe throw Washington State in there. If it's not an FCS game, yes, correct. Hey, listen, Boise State is a full-fledged FBS member, sir. This is maybe my favorite, you know, those developments early in the season that later turned out to mean nothing, like Texas, Notre Dame. Even better are the nothing results that turn out to mean a lot because, like, what if it's Boise State versus Houston for the New Year's Bowl and we look up in, huh, Washington State's ranked ahead of Oklahoma. Oh, oh, here's my, yes, Boise State had a tougher schedule. Here's my favorite possible outcome. Boise State goes undefeated. Washington State wins the Apple Cup and wins the Pack 12, and now Boise State gets to say, hey, we beat a Power 5 champ.

I mean, at this point, Boise State 13-0 in the playoff shit, they beat a 10 win Washington State team Oh, and just a word A word of praise If you actually, you know, if you're a Boise State fan If you're watching that, you go

You know, has anyone noticed how good We actually are? Yeah, yeah, watch that offense That offense right now It's literally just you who's notice, but It's just me. No one else's notice this They're just like, oh, Boise's good Brett Rippin

Brett Rippin looks so good right now just comfortable clicking away just moving them gears twirling that sheen not forcing anything through five TDs against New Mexico only seven in completion is 2128

he was just they're good they just move they just ah they just please me when they watch it and you get the same feeling by the way watching Washington it's not different those two offenses aren't really dissimilar in terms of what they do I don't think they're particularly explosive

they just know where empty space is on the field. They do everything like theoretically, soundly. I mean, if Oregon's defense out there, there's a lot of empty space. It turns out, turns out that the broad plains of the Wild West are reflected in the Oregon defense. Any game involving a offense from the Chris Peterson tree is sort of a, it's a negotiation with the defense. Like, oh, you'll, you'll give us six yards. Well, we'll just take seven. That's fine, right?

I would say Oregon. I would say Oregon's running. Oregon's terrible in negotiation. I call this the Manifest Destiny defense at this point because they're just like, take all of the land. Keep going west. And then in the second quarter, keep going east.

Is there anything? I mean, there were a lot of forgettable games. I want to go back to one thing. Are we going back to Rutgers? No, we're going back to Oregon. Because I just want one other thing. I understand, like, Jeff Schwartz was saying this, that, oh, you've got to give Helferch another chance to do this.

Do you? Like, you've got to give him another year? Well, because, I mean, if you've been through a recent, like, years and years long decline in your team's performance, I'm not saying that I necessarily am the person I'm talking about. But if you've seen this and you've seen the basic bones of how things go. You're saying this is the four and eight year, and why are you giving them the year after that?

Why are you even thinking about this? Yeah. I mean, like, the only reason not to is that if you don't have the person you want to hire in mind. Yeah. Which is tricky for Oregon, because it's easy to say, okay, this is getting it done. You know, shut off the 40-year coaching lineage now. Okay, where are you going? You can't hire Chris Peterson.

He's already been taken. He's already building something. you could go get Boise States coach now you look like you're just following in Washington's footsteps and now you're another step behind Washington even though they have a good coach who would be a good candidate otherwise are there any top Pac-12 assistance right now

who are looking head coach-worthy like probably not really like when you don't really know what anyone in the Pac-12 is good at maybe like a Utah defensive coordinator but that doesn't really fit you at Oregon you could go get Scott Frost from UCF your former OC but you're already about to fire

a former Oregon OC isn't that the whole problem here you have old ideas all over the you know the defensive coaching staff you know everything just needs a fresh start that's not a fresh start that's just you know retrying someone else from an old Chip Kelly staff and now you're

USC if you do that I just there are no great solutions that are obvious to me it's you give Brady Hoke time to fix the defense which is the saddest thing I've ever said Oh, God. It feels like Oregon's best solution right now. You just said that.

Wow. I mean, they're like, okay, when Nick Aliotti. He's high on the Falcons being good. That's all that's going on. I'll just say anything right now. Nothing can stop me. Like, Nick Aliati, their longtime defense coordinator, who was awesome. Oregon always, you know, got shit for giving up lots of points.

But if you really look at the per play data, they had a great defense, you know, for Chip Kelly's run and before Chip as well because of that long time defensive coordinator. He retired. and right around when Chip left, right around when Marietta left. So, yeah, the defense is terrible now. You made a bad promotion last year sending up Don Pelham. You made a hire that might not be all that great this year. So far hasn't worked. And, you know, there was no reason to think it was going to be awesome.

But it just seems like the best solution to me is you guys got to wait, see if maybe things get better next year because there's just not an obvious solution. Even like, okay, let's go into FCS. Let's go get Eastern Washington's head coach. Well, he just talked shit about your program. a year or two ago when you took Vernon Adams. You know, like, how's that going to look? I just, man.

It looked, it looked just fine. Words are free. People don't have to do this. Words are free. Can we, listen, we've been pretty negative on this recap podcast. That's fine. We're all, like, Spencer and I are pretty pessimistic. And Jason is so chill that he'll just let us be assholes for an hour.

Thanks, Jason. I would like to turn this on on ourselves, though. I've got our season preview. records here. I just want to... It's already time to go in on ourselves, man. It's a super negative. I'm just going to throw... I'm not going to go through all of them, but I want to throw a few out here

for you. All right. Wake Forest, three and nine. We're sorry. Georgia Tech. Georgia Tech, 10 and two. They've already lost... We did them first. We didn't have context for the rest of our standings yet. They've already lost three games. Here's one.

TCU 11 and 1. That team is but... I talked y'all into that one i'll take that l that team is total absolute but uh michigan 12 michigan 12 and no still looks pretty on track uh michigan state eight and four not feeling great about that um yeah oh by the way i'm i'm not even gonna i won't contest that one but that's not our fault this one this one looks totally wrong now but might not be Wisconsin 7 and 5

I'm still feeling pretty good about that Okay that's fine L number two is coming this weekend Hey hey remember those three teams we had At 9 and 3 in the Pack 12 North Stanford Washington Oregon Whoops I'm sorry we had Wazoo also at 9 and 3

In this group so Hey we got one right fuck us Yeah because remember what we called That they were going to lose To Eastern Washington Right we had a beat on exactly one out of 66 teams that we predicted. It's Washington State. Texas A&M

we had 6 and 6. Well, we did have them going 6 and 0. That's true. We had them starting 6 and 0. There's still time. There's still time. LSU 11 and 1. That was my fault, too. Guys, we're

soon. We're saying about it this. Next year when we do this, you all really need to exercise like the final veto, because there's two of you there's only one of me i didn't even talk about texas texas nine and three which i that's fine we're sticking by that is very on record as being strongly against no no stand stand fast we'll make it we're we're still fine there okay good yeah i i i would go ahead and also state

that our erroneous trick on lSU um yeah that's the worst that's the dumbest like and now in retrospect you just go oh yeah they were they weren't going to score although the loss of Wisconsin is still baffling, still baffling to me. I just, every, every team in the Big 12, with the exception of Iowa State and West Virginia has played exactly five games, and Texas has given up more points than all of them. Kansas has, Kansas, one and four Kansas has given up 165 points, two and three Texas, has given up 33 points more than that. I like that Gary Patterson and Charlie Strong

now run stereotypical Big 12 teams. Who would have ever thought that would happen? It's just like the Big 12 got into their bloodstream. It'll take anyone. This is probably the reason Nick Sabin never went to Texas because he just realized like, no, I can't play that shit. I can't be given up 45 points a week. Listen, Texas, it's not going to be cheap

and it's not going to be easy. But if you want a guy who can win close defensive battles, Kirk Farrants just beat Minnesota 14-7. Dave Closson, Dave Closson to Texas. I mean, Iowa will fight you for him. They really will. That's the sad thing. Like, if Texas came after Ferrence is a joke, like,

hell no, boys, let's just see what happens. Let's see if they'll shell out a little more money. Do they do this to try to get Greg Davis? Bring Greg back. We'll bid for both of you in Iowa bankrupts their state. like no 40 million a year and all the coal subsidies

he's extended through 2078 and we gave him a third of our territory we don't know why just love that man how did Iowa do this weekend oh yeah an unwatchable 147 win over Minnesota

yeah they got Floyd of Rosedale though Floyd should be real I still insist that Floyd should be a big traveling mascot yeah I mean How hard is it to keep a pig happy? Just take him to one place or the other.

He'll be fine. Players walking off with the pig on their shoulders. Exactly, right? The pig would, listen, pigs are smart. They know what's up. They're like, you're taking me away from this football game? Yes. Yes.

I feel like this is all a shot at Bobby Petrino somehow. Everything is. Dewey, I would like to discuss two other games very quickly before we. Yeah, I know. Burn it off. Yeah, we'll go. one Florida State Miami kind of an eventful game. This is not

it was not it wasn't what I wanted out of this game but it wasn't this it did have a comical ending though which is Miami tying it up in theory with the extra point kicked and then missing that extra point it was per FSU Miami law

it ended with a nicknameable kick and I'm told they're calling it the block at the rock because Miami Stadium is hard rock stadium now which the problem with that is it suggests that miami stadium will keep the same name for more than three years yeah you're gonna have to change the name of that this is a stadium that not too long ago was named after jimmy buffett's beer i believe so i would love to go back and retroactively name periods in miami history after their hypothetical sponsor so that the 91 game could be like

the big dogs t-shirt game right yeah the the al golden years were like the the pit bulls pit bull stadium area pit bull park why is this called the hummer gas mileage but fuck it we don't care stadium it's amazing well yeah this you just go back to like the 80s where it's just Pablo eskabar stadium like wow how did you name it pup we just just named it he was he was a donor we didn't know oh three or so is like trick daddy thug dot com park welcome to the narcos dome there's no ceiling doesn't matter we called it that yeah this is the block at the rock hard rock though is an appropriate sponsor because remember it's the hard rock and i believe seminal casino that's doing the sponsoring here so excellent remember uh you can't be involved

in gambling if you're an NFL owner but you can be a donor in college it's cool well it's also good because if you in the same way if you see a Miami fan if you see someone wearing a hard rock shirt you're like cool i like them in 1994 as well yeah oh one other note from this game uh Dalvin cook you know just 150 yards 27 carries he's fine yeah just proving for the second year in a row he's better than christian mcalfrey that's cool yeah that's fine still won't get the heisman because he didn't have you didn't have to do that i knew yeah i mean one of them was still in heisman top fives up until last week even after washington uh ate his heart out on tv was it delvin cook no it wasn't i'm afraid it wasn't no it was it was actually the white guy you'll never believe

this, but a white athlete is overrated. Again, we're getting closer and closer to that ideal American society where we're like, yeah, the white athlete counter-overrated. The game provides, this provides a segue to the game I wanted to talk about, which would be Washington State, Stanford, which, good God, if you, like, I, this is, I thought last week was a blit for Stanford, because they will do this from time to time. They'll just, I don't know. They're sleepy from all that genius in.

They're torpid from that happy life in Narnia, a literal dorm at Stanford. And they just botch a game, like the Northwestern game in 2015. Staying up too late reading Aristotle, y'all. Nothing wrong with it. I know. What were you doing? How did you get this crazy street going on Civ? He's playing civilization and just, man.

Yeah. Oh, Jason perks up. you said Northwestern and you lost me for a second but now you're playing this right now aren't you you're playing a game of sieve if you do not know Jason Kirk a civilization are you on five or six what is the game uh six isn't out yet John Boyce and I are eagerly watching preview videos once a week or so and and taking notes on on on new new civs but that's right

so sometimes they just play a little too much civilization and don't show up for game. That doesn't happen two weeks in a row, usually, with Stanford under David Shaw. Somebody said the meanest thing I have seen, Ben Muth, writes for football outsiders and a couple of other people, former linemen for Stanford. He said, wow, this looks like a Walt Harris team. Oh, boy. Yeah. Which I think that's what we said after the Washington game, too. Yeah, this Walt Harrisness and Buddy Tivensish behavior, just continuing because Stanford offensive line sucks. They're real not good.

Their defensive line, real not good as well because they let Washington State, I know, running the ball a little bit more, they let Washington State run for over 100 yards, which is like letting anyone else run for over 300 on you. That's a huge improvement from what Oregon did. How dare you?

I know. Is the whole Pac-12 North, like we've joked about this for a few weeks, everyone trading identities, but maybe it's just specific to the Pac-12 north. If you play Stanford, you have Stanford's powers, you're able to run the ball. You have, you dominate the line of scrimmage on both sides. If you play

Oregon, you get, you get Oregon's powers. You get to run up the fucking score. You get to go on a 35 to three third quarter sprint. Like, it, it's, uh, I guess it's like Mega Man or something when you beat a boss and you get his powers. I don't know. I'm excited. I am excited for the

Stanford Oregon game though, because because both teams have plummeted at the same time and sort of at the same rate in similar yeah yeah that's exactly what it is that by the time we get to that game it will be it will be sanford fans saying well if we can't beat this fucking bullshit oregon team and it will be organ fans saying well if we can't beat this this piece of shit no offense stanford team and by definition one of them won't and that's why i love this game Luke Falk

in this game Luke Falk is brilliant through 357 yards poor TDs through two two picks but I don't know man if you're

if you're under the number of TDs you throw in a Mike Lynch offense in terms of your interceptions you're fine right as long as you don't have a broken leg you're fine yeah which is the thing with Falk that I don't know

like most point leeched quarterbacks he's going to finish this looking like a World War I pensioner in a Memorial Day parade. He will have the bandage over his head. He will have some limp, maybe multiple limps going on, but keeps throwing touchdowns. And they were, they dominated the defensive line. That's the other thing. Washington State, sneakily good defensive lines. Thanks to Joe Salavea. It goes, gets many Polynesians from, from the region to come and play excellent defensive

line. And it is also just a good defensive line coach, period, as well as a recruiter. Kind of an underrated little part of their operation up there. So yeah as everyone predicted Washington State somehow now just clicking on all cylinders and playing like menacing defense along the defensive line and headed for I think what we can say

at least a bowl game like maybe more than that. Sure sure I remind you they're undefeated in the pack 12 yeah their only losses are to what the two conference two potential conference champions don't ask which conferences but I think what we're

staring down the barrel of is um the apple cup is going to be really important this year um eight years after the infamous crapple cup the apple cup we'll probably have playoff implications power five division implications maybe or maybe the roseball as well like what if we have watching the playoff watching the state in the rose bowl like the apple cup matters this is the most 2016 fact of them all i just figured this out washington's this year's mississippi that's so disrespectful to Washington I feel like what the state of Washington with with with the two teams that start hot okay that's fine I thought you met Washington was old miss and be like no their

defense is you know and they can run the ball this is this is fucking rude this is all I want to say about South Carolina Georgia and please let us send it us after this I will give each of you $100 if you can name me a Power 5 team that has thrown fewer touchdowns than South Carolina. Throne, I want to emphasize passing. And a power five. Power five, yeah. So I can't cheat and go to like Army.

Boston College? Army is correct, but you're right. They're not Power 5. Let's just do a little math here real quick. Boston College has almost four times as many passing touchdowns as South Carolina. Try again. I'll give you as many tries as you want. It's be 4 to 1.

I was going to guess Eastern Michigan, but they're good this year, so no. They're also not Power 5, but. We got, we got, Spencer, we're going to get you a list of which the conferences are. Nope, nope, just going to keep making wrong guesses here. Georgia Tech? Let's see, Georgia Tech, twice as many. My God. Twice as many on fewer than half as many pass attempts.

The answer is none. The answer is that through six games, South Carolina has thrown the ball two, almost 200 times, has two touchdowns and three interceptions. Hey, it's, hey, it's Will Buschamp. I have, and I have such a, like, because I know that there's a contaminant, like, in this experiment, I want to isolate for pure Must Champ contagion, but I know that this entire sample is contaminated by Steve Spurier giving up on recruiting, like, I don't know, three years ago, two years ago.

So I can't solely blame Will Must champ for this. But also, this looks like every other wild most champ team I've ever seen. Okay, but let's be fair. You know, passing is only one part of the offense. You can also run the ball. I will give each of you $100 if you can name me two, this time you have to do two, Power 5 teams that run for fewer yards per carry than South Carolina does. I'll go again, start with Boston College.

Oh, boy. Let's just search that. Oh, no, Boston College is a healthy, about half a yard ahead of South Carolina in this measure. So good try, but no. Kentucky? Kentucky, let's just control F that. Oh, no, they're a full yard and a half over. Kentucky's got some good running backs.

So that stands up. Vandy. Vanderbilt. Show me Vanderbilt. No, I'm sorry. They're not great, but they're still miles ahead of South Carolina. The answer is there are not two. There is one.

It's UCLA. Yes. UCLA, just barely behind South Carolina's 3.01 yards per carry. That's amazing. Having watched probably about like eight minutes of UCLA all year, that's awesome. After they have, you know, maybe the most talented quarterback in the country, non-like Lamar Jackson division. And they added a full back and a tight end and all that and they still can't run the ball.

that's that's very good yeah cool