Shutdown Fullcast - Shutdown Fullcast 4.46 - Leonard Fournette Remains At Large

Episode Date: October 24, 2016

Penn State knocked off #2 Ohio State with a blocked field goal returned for a touchdown, so naturally we take 10 minutes to get to that game and talk about LSU-Ole Miss first because we're terrible at identifying meaningfulness. Other points of digression include: - Whether Todd Graham has what it takes to use "chickenshit" in conversation - How to defeat Jim Harbaugh by preying on his crippling addiction to competition - Bill Snyder is not a nice person, don't fall for his kind grandpa thing - Kirk Ferentz does the job you paid him to do - Our government mandated statement of fealty to Alabama - A very rude trip through the Arkansas-LSU box score Learn more about your ad choices. Visit megaphone.fm/adchoices Learn more about your ad choices. Visit podcastchoices.com/adchoices

Welcome to the shutdown forecast. We were discussing this in our pre-show meeting, which happens literally right before we press record for about three minutes. And we agreed. We must discuss the greatest upset of the week. And that will be Ohio State, Penn State. Yes, Penn State. You want a big game under James Franklin.

We got fruit baskets. We got meat of the month club. We have celebratory processed meat spread. We'll send them all to you. just congratulations for that is an astonishing thing however we do have to note one thing before we talk about how ohio state lost its first game of the season and courteously showed the rest of ohio how to share the spotlight because that's that's what that was about not about ohio state losing a game but about clearing the way so everybody could focus on the indians because remember the buckeyes lead first in the state of ohio when it comes to sports the buckeye indians brown slash cabs whichever trill ballins character you want to become in following ohio athletics the point is uh jason kirk college football editor joining us as always from kennesaw georgia what's the point we want to get to first uh Leonard fournett killed a man um on

saturday on live television the lSU junior running back received a pass and was running up the left sideline when he when he engaged into contact with a freshman old miss defensive back poor freshman poor freshman who just didn't know what he was getting into and the man ended up um ass over tea kettle his face in the ground the halfway into the upside down um looking like a fucking tombstone just it's Leonard fornett just just turned that poor boy into into gravy and and it's it's a shame someone needs to do something about it and then oh man they're just going to let him do it again next week that's that's all i'm just so i'm just so so worried for these for these young man out there this was the worst single old miss defender moment since trant richardson shook sanquez

goals and twice in the same play yep so by by that logic um in 2011 yes in in a by that in two or three years he will have his revenge against lSU and have a game ceiling intercept so just patience young man yeah ryan nanny joining us uh did you see the did you see the forenetting the fornettiture i mean i tried not to because i'm trying to keep my soul clean but it's you cannot watch that you have to sort of confront it and understand i'm not going to hide from the evil in this world i refuse and what leon ren fernet did to that man oh boy pure pure pure evil yeah

this was this was I thought I was over videos being recut to Jim Ross announcing mankind falling off of the cage I'm not

and this was proof because our very own SB Nation social staff remixed it to that and it worked it worked and I got excited almost has played seven games now

is that right yeah they're three and four yeah which we'll get to that separately. In the eighth game, if they give up 70 yards on the ground, they will have given up more rushing yards in 2016 than they did in all of 2015, including the bowl game. I am hard-pressed to think of one specific part of a team that has gone so completely bad from one year to the other, with the exception to maybe Christian. Christian McCaffrey probably

falls into that category too. I would, I would actually before this, I would before this say maybe Leonard Fornett, I guess he's okay. Well, he got to play Ole Miss, so all is well. That'll just you know, when your cylinders aren't firing and whatnot, you know, you just

mash the gas and let the engine work the thing out. You know, you ever have one of those car moments where you're just like, I don't know, fucking floor it. See if the car figures it out. Well, the car figured it out. Are you guys excited for the egg bowl to quite possibly be the determining factor of which Mississippi school goes to a bowl game and which one doesn't?

I can't wait. My God. There's nothing I want more. The two five-win teams. Scratching for that six. Didn't this happen a couple years ago? Was this not when the Dr. Bo fumble bowl? Wasn't that bowl eligibility on the line?

I don't know. Spiritually it was, but I would have to go back and look. I do know this. that in this game we don't normally give out player awards here on the full cast but I have a player of the week and it's Deontay Anderson

for he sold that like a stunner man is this like a purple heart kind of thing I am I'm so proud of him because he got up and he played he was leveled he was inverted for a moment he rolled back

like he was performing some sort of collision yoga pose and then you know what he did he kept playing man they were getting their ass kicked and he stood up we don't talk enough about players who get rocked in the teeth and then show up the next play that's what he did he didn't like drop out of school he didn't leave the state of mississippi yeah he stole that sold that shit like the rock taking a stone cold stunner nobody can take a stunner like the rock the rock will be like like like like like levitating over the over the rope that that was the visual and i think you're right this man deserves an award for his bravery out there so omiss don't think of it as a as a disappointing total collapse of a season

just you know the w w writers this just this just wasn't your year with them that's fine you're gonna get the belt well maybe maybe maybe it didn't specify which bet maybe uh about yeah the the the the the The Smackdown Hardcore belt. Yeah, you know, Bama has the turnover belt. Ole Miss, this game, had the turn over. He got turt over. He got the turtover belt because he was literally turned over. Oh, this has the overturned belt.

Yeah. Yeah. Also, can I just give this to Deontay Anderson? Not a banger, man. It's a DB. It's back there. And you know what a lot of DBs do when they're confronted with contact? They do what I do.

They fly to the sideline. Just whoop. I'm sorry. that's that's you know that's what some safeties would do and uh that's not what dionte anderson did i think if i'm in dante shoes i see four net coming at me i'm just

like oh shit i didn't see him i thought i thought yeah you see me rod i was going going the other way uh yeah we had uh we had we had another thing in this ls u miss game uh whew we had we had a guy take out two blockers at once and

oh good lord it was violent it was it was absolutely astonishing so in other words we were going to discuss the most important game of the week and we ended up discussing what we actually felt like it was the most important game of the week which was ls you just i mean don't sign me up to that i'm not going to say it's the most important no this is this will define the season right yeah okay okay cool spiritually i will say there's two really good things for your football team play an old miss have an ed orger on his interim coach

when you can get those two things at once you're making You're making vines. Yeah, no, you've got put several people. Multiple pieces of social content were created in this game. That's an indicator. We should go back and look when the season's done and find which games generated the most vines and which team had the most vines generated on them.

See, new award. It's the vines. That's fucking brilliant. I do hope that after this game, Ed Orgeron quoted the entirety of the parable of the prodigal son to Hugh freeze and the old miss fans but all in that

or drawn voice oh and they did slate a fatted cam ho ho ho ho rubbed down and despise and Hugh can't walk away from that like what brother Hugh like he's going to walk away from a Bible story he'll be so he's just got to stand there

listen to it he'll be so steamed about it too he'll be so mad I can't walk away Ed knows it Ed's like oh oh I know I got him to plan that why didn't I think of the Fat Calf Cone Rapper, a tackle eater. Yeah, that's the thing is that they'll do that.

And then the next, like, in the egg bowl, Hugh Freeze will try to pull it on Dan Mullen. He'll be like, what? You, I don't know what you're talking about. Bye. I never heard this before in my life. Yeah. I enjoy how your Dan Mullen speaks like a 1940s mole.

Well, he's from like, he's from like Vermont or whatever. So it's, you know, or whatever, one of those fucking states. So it's all that same. One of those John Irving states. One of those, I don't know, it snows all the time or something. Yeah. Yes, one of those Volvo states. He's definitely from a Volvo state.

The upset of the week, the game, the most important actual game, now that we are done talking about how Leonard Fournett absolutely baptized a man on the field of play, that would be Ohio State, Penn State. Ohio State coming into this game, undefeated. Trick, funny thing, they're not undefeated now. they're now six and one because in the most lopsided score box score by quarter examination of the game if you look Penn State this would have been 217 were it not for the fourth quarter because Penn State rolls off 17 straight unanswered in the fourth quarter including my maybe my favorite way for a team that is probably on paper the inferior team to win a game that would be blocking a few real cool.

Get them every time, man. Probably on paper is, is such a kind word for the team that went eight for 23 passing and ran for less than three and a half yards of carry winning the game. Like on, on tablets, on spreadsheets, on all forms of media, Penn State was not as good of a team as Ohio State. It just didn't fucking matter because Penn State did like three. better things than Ohio State did and they did them at the right time and sometimes that's all you need yeah this continues the streak of when Ohio State loses a game it does so in such

bullshit fashion that Ohio State fans look extremely ungracious for not saying they were the better team that day like they have to bring up all the very you know valid points like oh against Michigan State we just decided to not you know like use our best player which kind of happened again the Curtis Samuel had two carries in this game for an average 35.5 yards 10 touches total but that's not enough man yeah I mean how can the the winning team is like no one really knows how they won and Ohio State fans when they try to explain it they just sound like sore losers which everyone can enjoy at least I would like to point that out too Samuel had two carries too they were for 71 yards so to be fair maybe maybe urban meyer and ed warrener just sensed well

that's as many yards as we'll get out of him of anything else is just bringing down as yards yards per carry average i mean one of those one of those of the two for 71 one was for 74 so the other one's for a loss so really oh you're saying you're saying he's a coin flip of either he's going to run for a loss or he's going to run for a 70 plus yard touchdown and i don't you know i think i'll take that that's risky man that's that's that's just you He's only averaging 8.2 yards per rush on the year and 12.7 through the air. That's in, I don't know, probably only giving the ball like once, I think. Yeah, I would like you.

I would enjoy, by the way, finding one thing that Penn State did better because on the stat sheet is not there. I watched this game, and it looked like this too. You're going, this doesn't add up. Nothing about this adds up. They got after J.T. Barrett, like a motherfucker. There was six sacks, and it felt like. just infinite hurries.

It felt like J.T. Barrett was it literally felt like every play he was moving around and he's good at moving around but that will that will hurt you

at some point. Yeah, they had 11 tackles for loss in this game which that's pretty damn good. Yeah, on offense Penn State didn't do a goddamn thing but on defense they looked awesome

and you know, Ohio State fans have been saying our offensive efficiency has been declining for a week. Well, okay, you're not playing bowling green anymore. And Wisconsin and Penn State have good defenses. So, you know, good defense on the road. Yeah.

You know, you didn't play a great game, but shouldn't expect too much more than this. Yep. And then you get the lottery. The lottery ticket. It worked. It cashed in. Congratulations. All those people have told you that relying on blocked field goals to win a game, they're wrong.

Now you're sitting on the full luxury of taking the side pen, getting the loss all at once. That would be Penn State, now at 5 and 2, 3 and 1 in conference, same as Ohio State, mind you. Despite, as we said, playing a game where offensively, largely but, if there were but rankings for the Big 10, and I really encourage you to follow rubber chickens on Twitter, because it does a fine job every week doing the SEC butt rankings, describing how much butt and what type of butt each team is. This week, Penn State's, I don't know, some like prime butt, because they kind of look like butt, but here we're. we are at 24-21.

Okay, but let's see what I did. Yeah, exactly. Flipside, you know, I get that we're all like, Ha-ha, Ohio State. Here's a little fact for you, for all you haters out there.

How many Urban Meyer teams have finished a season with one loss? The answer is five. Spencer, how many of those teams won the damn national championship? Two. The answer is three. God, you're dumb.

Three. Three. Three, yeah. Do you remember how many national championships he's won? You rooted for two of them. I rooted for two of them. I just forgot that, yeah, I forgot that they actually lost a game that year. The Virginia Tech game, which it was very similar to this game in some respects.

How many? By the way, let's just go back and let me say, I still don't believe that Virginia Tech beat them that game. They did. J.T. Barrett was in that game as well. J.T. Barrett also just got just his offensive line could not protect him when they needed to. I think Spencer is arguing that facts don't matter and that if we don't, if we, if we, if we, uh, if we choose to contest the results of that game and do not accept the outcome, um, we can just say that, no, no, I don't, I don't, I don't think that game is all I'm saying is this 60% of the time when Ohio State loses one game, only one, they win the national championship when an urban, when an urban wire team does, but, but, but what happens, Spencer, how many, Urban Myers had two teams that he's coached. to undefeated seasons. How many national championships have those teams won?

Oh, I think I can get this one. Zero. Yeah. That's right. Go youths. That's right. So if anything, this is a good thing if you're an Ohio State fan. You don't want to go undefeated because then somehow your athletic director

prevents you from playing in the national championship. This is my grand point that every Alabama fan would acknowledge, correct? That eventually this Alabama team, you don't want to get through the regular season. defeated you don't you need you need the artificial motivation of a meaningless loss to spur you to greatness right that's what has to happen here for instance uh that didn't happen segue against texas a and m texas an m yeah you know they put up a pretty bold fight and uh you still got beaten badly yeah and it was very close at halftime and a andm managed a lead for like three minutes in the second half there was an amazing

amazing three minutes. It was a precious three minutes when everyone just sort of perked up and said, I'm not ready to believe, but I'm considering believing. But I mean, if you look back at the first half, the only reason it was close was what? Bamma missed a field goal. Okay, Bamma always misses field goals, but still, Bamma missed a field goal and was just kind of sputtering in the red zone. It was held to field goals on two others, so.

Yeah, and, you know, man, the game could have been put away at halftime, but who, yeah, you got. This was another game where maybe even not as close as the score would suggest because A&M didn't have 300 yards offense, man. They got a little bit lucky. They got some field position. They mounted, I think, one for long drive, if I remember correctly. Kept Trevor Knight hemmed in most of the time.

Ford never really got off running back. And defensively, they couldn't block the Alabama run game. Mind you, that's the Alabama run game. which is basically the old Auburn run game except run just as well and with probably better players, if we're being totally honest. When you're starting quarterback and throw two interceptions that it doesn't matter, that's where we're at with Alabama, right? When Jonathan Allen, my brain just sort of like flipped inside my skull remembering this,

when Jonathan Allen can beat his defender and then Superman dive over a running back on the block to sack Trevor, if you we might I'll include this here that'll be the thing we include we'll include this clip because I just want everyone on the planet to understand that Jonathan Allen is not messing around not at all nor is anyone on this defense because they all seem

you know that thing where Ed Reed they used to like if you've watched Bill Belichick a football life there's this great scene Ed Reed is on film Bill Belichick's watching in his office and he's sitting there and you hear Bill Belichick go look at this motherfucker like out of the side of his corner of his mouth because

because he's watching him and Ed Reed walks in the office I guess they have or no this is like he's watching him and then they go to the next clip and it's them on the field before the game and Belichick walks up and he's like God I hate you I can't because he can't put film on him because they all know where the ball's going

even if they're not in the position you think they should be in they're going to get the ball that's how good this defense is like I know this isn't the Anaconda defenses that they put together I know you can get some long plays on them I know this doesn't look like you know 2011 But this defense in the way that they anticipate ball movement and pick balls out of the air and force fumbles and disrupt stuff, they're way more fun to watch.

I love watching this team. I hate myself for saying that, but this is a different team and it's a different kind of football. You've finally, finally crossed over. All these years of Nick Saban evolving, they finally succeeded in winning over Spencer Hall. My favorite stat from this team at this point is that Jonathan Allen has two touchdowns, Christian. McCaffrey has three rushing touchdowns on the year. So it could be a close battle for the Heisman race. Really, I mean, let's see,

Eddie Jackson, Bama defensive back, done for the year. That's bad. Other than that. I think we can agree that that's bad. That's very, very bad. And that might be like the only real concern, you know even even though everyone else in the defense is good and all that but man we are rapidly running out of chances for this team to lose well the one this is yet another segue

if we if we want to actually if we want to actually look at who they could theoretically lose to there's only one team on their schedule who looks like they're capable of putting a biblical beat down on another team and i mean biblical because we're talking about the family and we're talking about Jesus' original football team. We're talking about that most blessed of tribes. That's correct, the Auburn Tigers. Oh, no other cheeks were turned here, sir. This is purely Old Testament.

Not one. Not one in this game. Ryan, did you watch this game? No. I, I, no. This is, why? Why would I watch this game? Spencer, did you? I watched, I think, about half of it.

And every time, yeah, and every time. I turned it on, Arkansas was down by more and more points. It was, every time I turned it on, it was in case, like, you know, most blowouts, you can turn to it and they'll hit a kind of stasis, right? Like, oh, they're up by 34, they'll just kind of park it. Nope, nope, nope, nope, nope, got 14 points in third, 14 and the fourth. Every time I turned it on, Brett Bilemma was at the black deck table and deeper and deeper in debt, right?

It's just, I'll buy back in. Okay. Hit me. Hit me, throwing 15s at you all. day long sir i haven't even i haven't even dealt you a hand yet just hit me just i would like i've kindly request you hit me and boy did yeah the auburn run game the auburn oblige just hit you and hit you and hit you and hit you and hit you just to the tune of 543 yards on 57 attempts yeah it was uh they weren't throwing down a 10 every time but they're throwing down nine and a half yards there are i'm

counting this if i'm counting this correctly there are five different players on Auburn, who in this game averaged seven yards of carry. That's fucking dumb. Yeah, you want to hear, this is my favorite. It's cheap stats, but let's have them, okay? Cameron Petway, as long as 27, I'm going to give you the long runs of everyone else not named John Pendley. Okay? Here are the long runs in a total of 543 rushing yards.

78, 51, 31, and 41. Those are the long runs that Arkansas allowed. There is no way that Arkansas's defensive coordinator makes it to next year. None. No. Absolutely not. They just, and Auburn still just could not be less interested in passing the ball. Through the ball 12 times in this game.

Completed seven passes. Just didn't care. 57 carries. I do think, I do think that is the, if you are looking for the most, glaring way in which the Iron Bowl is actually not going to be close. It's that. I don't think you can be entirely one-sided and just do it on the ground and beat Alabama. Hello, LSU. It doesn't feel like a good recipe for success because at some point you are going to have to show a little balance or do something unexpected or take a shot down field. And I am a little worried that Auburn has

kind of let that muscle atrophy, but for the meantime, you know, hey, this is a hell of a lot better than this season started for Auburn. So I am mad at you. Yeah, I would, this is also the point where I think Sean White takes the field of the quarterback against Alabama and Alabama's defenders just look up and they're like, nah. No. Nah. Next. Not that dude. Disagree. No, you disagree. Just. Or they, or you agree that they're going to walk out and just be like, not that. Yeah, they just take one look and they say, Mm-mm, mm-mm.

Mute and block. Report this dude for Spain. Yeah. I'm reporting this dude for abuse that I'm about to put on him. Kindly asked White Sean to reconsider. Yeah, exactly. Go get your other man, the other quarterback. That would be, I think, like, a number of really terrifying things you could do as a defense.

offensive player. I'm on record as saying the thing that would break me and get me off the football field forever as an athlete would be if somebody absolutely hammered me and did the entire Geico line to my face. The, ooh, baby, nothing's faster and more efficient than

Geico or whatever it is. If you did that whole line, I would completely lose my mind and just walk off. I'd be broken. The other thing would be if somebody did that, if a linebacker just walked up to the line of scrimmage to blitz to the egg out, looked up to me and was like, nah. nah no no not you that's all it would take if they were alabama and i was shone white yeah no no i understand

just all right that's fine i guess i'd call i'd call time out it'd be like no no it's not me i don't i don't like our play they they had us man they they had us red okay well i didn't yeah i didn't like the look out there we lined up as uh as not alabama and they lined up as alabama and they lined up as Alabama and I feel like that was I feel like we need to switch up the play call maybe see if we can get them to line line up as Mississippi State I didn't like being behind the center

oh you want to be in the shotgun well that's still behind center you're saying maybe maybe back up even more maybe why don't we line me up in pun formation how about yeah yeah quick kick I'll do that yeah right Ryan Stewart a former like radio host here in Atlanta with the two lives do city lined up from Alonzo Spellman once

on a special teams play and he had to catch the, I think he was like catching the edge and Ryan Stewart looked up and Alonzo Spelman was in tears and like jibbering incoherently with rage and he called time out, walked over to Bobby Ross and was like no, no, we're not doing this.

Thank you. No. And Bob Ross is like, what? And he's like, no, not me. Um, too Hishnan is not worth it. On the flip side of the rushing ledger, Arkansas ran the ball 31 times and they didn't even get one yard per carry. this is i mean ultimately it may not it probably doesn't tilt arkansas season one way or the other

they already had two uh two losses in the division so they were effectively out of that race and they can still you know they can still put together a decent season in a somewhat rebuilding year but man this this was just this was a pasting yeah they're still good play mazoo so they still get to go to a ball oh god can we all right let's get that let's get that out of the way real quick uh spencer do you know who missouri lost to this week well i do because back in my ncdb a playing days the the only team i would be for a real long time was the middle tennessee state blue raiders we went through a lot won five or six national titles uh it was it was a special moment so the bond i have with imaginary middle tennessee

state, it's unbreakable. The one I have with middle Tennessee state, it's faint. It's usually where in high school we'd go to buy weed. That's where you could do. It was Middle Tennessee State

and Murphersboro. Can I remind you before we begin discussing this? Oh, the offensive coordinator at Middle Tennessee State. Who is that? It's Tony Franklin. Oh, boy.

Oh, God. Where did Tony Franklin come from to coach voluntarily in Murphersboro? He left Cal. That's right. Which is still in the Power 5. Now, can I also remind you, too?

He was pretty happy at Cal. He would like, he grew his hair out. He lived in a loft. You know, I suspect that between you and I, Tony was probably living the life out there, man. I don't think, you know, might have had a card. Might have just been chilling. Whatever. Spiritually, I think he explored some things when he went there.

This is a medicinal offense. You really. Remember, only take a quarter of the Tony Franklin offense out of time. Really, if ever there was an argument for how disheveled Cal is, it's Tony Franklin leaving Berkeley for Tennessee. Yeah. The most Berkeley of all football coaches leaving for the middle of, for a part of Tennessee where there is a McDonald's,

and that is the only thing I've ever remembered about driving through it. They got a carobas. I'm pretty sure they got a caravis, and they got the Ulta. there too by the mall if you go through the lot it's it's bland it's what we're saying so tony franklin's officially the freakyest person in middle tennessee state but you know what it paid off they fucked up homecoming they fucked up missouri's homecoming on homecoming man muzoo lost at a homecoming to middle tennessee state and let me say not an entirely like dismal loss because middle tennessee state they're pretty good i i don't think that an n cc a east team

should ever lose to them necessarily. But here we are. It happened. They gave up 584 yards and six TDs to middle Tennessee state. So in case you wonder whether the SEC East has experienced that long-awaited renaissance with the influx of new coaching talent, brave, new thought, and additional funding and improved facilities. Nope, nope, not there.

It's not. We're not even close to it. It's not happening. Listen, if you're going to lose to a conference USA East team, You lost to the best of all of them. So take solace in that. That's comforting. Boy, and you know, it just breaks my heart because this really puts a damper on Georgia's signature win so far.

Oh, God. I love you so much sometimes, Brian. Georgia also knew he suffered a transitive loss to Tennessee State. Andy was in a real, real brawl. I love that every Georgia. fan, to you, to every Georgia fan, you are the snake that doesn't bite until the last possible second, right?

Like, oh, this snake isn't too bad, oh, God! He found a way to get us. Always. Every single time, you will find a way to get back to how dumb Georgia was for hiring Kirby Smart. Not that, yeah, no, no, not sorry. No. The other game that I wanted to get to was a more, a less important game

by position and more important in terms of, of sassiness, spite a little bit of personal tiff between two coaches, very large personalities and outsized styles. That would be Todd Graham and Mike Leach. Do you want to narrate this particular shit show for us, Jason? So sometime around last year, Mike Leach became convinced that Arizona State was stealing signals, and while everyone agrees that all coaches steal signals and it's just a part of football. He has intimated that it went beyond what is usually allowed and has involved technology.

He's used the word technology. He's described it as being like the Enigma Code, which is extremely Mike Leach. He's referencing historical events while he calls you a cheater. And using technology, that's what gets you, you know, that's like Patriots-grade cheating. That's Bill Belichick stuff. Our man, Bill Belichick, we love him.

um so he you know he's saying arizona state is going well beyond just gamesmanship and is actually breaking rules um todd graham is of course a man of excuse me a man of impeccable honor a man of highest some of your throat who sorry who i got through that one the man of the the highest personal uh personal merit and personal regard um that was very very very offended by this and back till find mike leach said Then after the game, after Washington States win, cameras recorded Todd Graham approaching Leach for the, for the, you know, for the handshake. So mumbles, mumbles, mumbles, mumbles, chicken shit.

Mumbles, mumbles, mumbles, how about some respect? Something like that. Leach looks at him like he's a space alien and then walks off like he has no interest in looking at space aliens, goes to the post-game presser where he's asked, not even stuff about like, do you still think Arizona State cheats? Just stuff like, how did you, you know, plan for Arizona? state's defense and he drops some marshan lynch wisdom like well well i prefer not to comment in any way that would get me reprimanded by the pack 12 and it just keeps repeating that over

and over again so all and all just peak mike leach for a solid two-year campaign against a conference foe um man i don't even know where to begin not even not even a division foe not even not even a foe that you necessarily have meaningful recent history it just compared to Pullman the other side of Earth it's it's fucking bizarre but that's why you hired Mike Leach you didn't hire them because you wanted to have normal

relationships with other people yeah and and I mean they won it's like it's sort of like getting a python it's not a move you make because you're like oh this will really you know make me beloved by the community and show people that

I'm responsible and easy to talk to and approachable you just do it because you want to be fucking weird and that's fine because you know if there are there are places and times in life and pullman is probably one of them where it's better to just buy a python than try to be normal i in this i am stunned by the use of chicken shit oh it's chicken shit is one of my favorite dad cusses bobby cox level cussing right there yeah it is it is it is is it is chicken shit is a great dad cuss it's the kind of thing um where like when the cable company doesn't show up and they're four hours late he's like that chicken shit time warner representative

promise me they'd be here between two and six but his ass his ass lied i don't feel like it's a profanity that todd graham has the rank for i feel like he needs to class up before he can use chicken shit properly i just don't feel like he has the gravitas to use it so you're downgris rating him to horse crap? Bull crap. Oh, yeah. Yeah, he's a bull crap guy. Okay.

All the way down to a bull crap. Wow. I was going to say he could go horse shit at least, or his horse shit, is that even more advanced? Hors shit. Hors shit's a little more aggressive than chicken shit. Wow. Okay. You got to be super comfortable with that.

And, you know, there's a lot of coaches who are masters at profanity. I think this is a misstep by Todd Graham. It's really not fitting the talent he has on hand to his system of profanity. so chicken shit's not really it's not anything that leach is going to hear either because he knows it leach is like yeah you can't carry this off it's not an act that you can pull right that and also i don't know if you notice leach's expression walking off and i i don't want to entirely take either gentleman's side here taking mike leech's side you fucking liar you fucking liar no i really don't i really don't hear me out of this i think he doesn't want to take a side

that doesn't he hasn't my worst self i e.e me would but in trying to be reasonable you really don't want to necessarily just blanket agree with Mike Leach on things you don't yeah yeah yeah in a lot of ways yeah in a lot of ways on a lot of issues you don't want to agree with Leach let's talk for instance let's ask Mike one time his opinion on injuries and on head trauma no one does that because he lives in Pullman but man if you do you'll get eight to 12 minutes of tape that might scorch his entire career so I think Mike Leach was making that vase because Todd Graham said chicken shit and he immediately was like

well really what chickens excrete is sort of a mixture of urine and urea and it comes out of a cloaca so it's more of it's more of an oil slick see it's not a sort of a paste it's got it's got the viscosity of a sort of

like hot mayonnaise I would say it's not not really shit at all short hair fella coming up to me talking about how chicken's shit and then I was about to have a dialogue with him and the next thing you know he's talking about how bullshit. So I just got out of there because the guy couldn't make up his mind which

kind of shit he wanted to talk about. I mean, I'm from Cody, you know, in Wyoming. You know, we grow up around all that stuff. Are Todd Graham and Butch Jones brothers? They might as well be. They have the same haircut. You know, Todd Graham's got to be the older brother who really put Butch through some shit, right?

And follow-up question. Are they both Buzz from Home Alone? Or are they both the coach from Beavis and Butte? head. That's the other thing I thought. Adele Roche and Boe you? Yeah. Yeah. They're the older brother from weird science. They're chat. They're chat. We've expended so many

tired cultural references in one single thing. Tired cultural references. I mean, you're talking about Tennessee football. Oh, God. They didn't even play this week. Well, that's their own. I mean, shit. Maybe they ought to have, huh? I don't know. You want to stay relevant? The other thing, Mike Leach's

face on this, it's the best curve. It's such a good dish. Because he hears it, and then just goes, yeah, I don't even want to deal with that. And just keeps walking. There's no change of expression, just a mask. Like, oh, yeah, sure. I just, how's that L? I got another one for you.

Here, look, hold your hand like this. It's an L. What you got? Listen, Jason, I understand the Tennessee didn't play this week, even though you were very rude. But there is a UT that did. Oh, God damn it. Yeah. Yeah, we don't have to talk about it.

We just have to, we just have to say this. Kansas State 24, Texas 21. Oh, let's talk about, let's talk about Toledo. That's a UT, right? If you did not, if you did not watch Texas K State, and really, unless you were a depraved individual, why would you? Let me give you a few things.

Yeah, you did. You know why you watch it? Because you like watching Bill Snyder play Pinnacle. You like watching, you like watching Bill Snyder do what Bill Snyder does. which is hold the ball for almost 40 minutes turn a tight end into a laser accurate quarterback capable of dominating

game single-handedly. Mind you, this would have been a bigger blowout, but K-State turned the ball over three times. Yeah. Yeah, this could have been They kept Texas in it. Yeah, that's... Which in the end just felt cruel,

not necessary. Yeah, and in case you think, like, Bill Snyder's this nice man, I will always argue Bill Snyder, there ain't a nice bone in his body. You know why he writes notes? To taunt. I'm so polite. Here you go.

Like, after the game, he went up to Charlie and goes, you know what? You're going to be fine. You're going to work this out. I think you're the man for Texas. That's a real classy gesture. Do you know what it was? It's the kiss of death. It's Bill Snyder.

Just, muh. Bye. Yeah, but this is also, like, how historical rivals would, you know, would correspond like this. It feels like something civil war generals would do. Just sort of write a cordial letter to one another. and then say, sorry about the gangrene. Yeah, so Bill Snyder's contemporaries. Yep.

Exactly. He learned it from PGT Beauregard. Actually, that'd be the wrong side. He beat PGT Beauregard, and then you know what he did? He said, I think you're the right man for the Confederate Army. Oh, my God. You're doing a great job. You're keep it up.

The long list of people that Bill Snyder's buried. We'll just write it one day, and you will just reel. and how many people. Like, why wouldn't you be that way if you're Bill Snyder? I have seen what you are. Everything that has already been will be again. And you know who's still going to be coaching K-State at the end of it?

Me. God. Just. Ugh. Yeah. It was good. It was good. This had, in the first half, there was a 16-play drive, I believe.

They took up about seven minutes of game time. And I really hope we can. This is what I think. think Bill Snyder's doing. He refuses to die or quit coaching until he can coach the perfect drive, which is a drive that starts at the one, and every play gains exactly 3.34 yards. And he just keeps doing that all the way down the field until they get a touch to him. Second. So if he gained just 2.6, then what could that would be? Oh, if you're saying he's going for fourth down over and over and over. Yeah, he's going for every fourth down, even at his own seven.

See, that feels a little wild for Bill. Like I think at some point he thinks that's showy. Well, maybe every third down is a penalty then. This is, yeah, okay, that's fine. This is more of like a minimalism thing. Honestly, if Bill Snyder could get the ball up three in the, let's say, the start of the third quarter, and just hold on to it, gain a first down, lose all that yardage due to a penalty, gain the first down back, lose the yardage again, and just sort of never.

move outside of a 20-yard area, I think he'd be perfectly happy. Just run out the whole 30 minutes of game clock. Let me give you the ultimate Snyder scenario, which is what happened in this game. Score quick-glow touchdown, force a punt. Then the next touchdown drive, just to let you know what you're in for.

16 plays, 80 yards, 723 off the clock. Then, then, then, four punts, happily exchanged. Four of them, just doop-d-d-d-d-d-d-tum. and then a K-State touchdown. I feel like on these long K-State drives, he should just be on the sideline,

like, luxuriously playing bass guitar or something, just like extended solos. Just on a fretless bass. It has to be fretless, and he has to be playing some sort of, like, smooth jazz. Welcome to college football. Upright bass, right? Welcome to college football's jam band.

My favorite part of this game was when K.State converted one of its, I think it was two for two on fourth down. and it has this formation that's like even more Stanford than Stanford where there are seven across the line quarterback jammed up tight and then three big dudes right behind the quarterback like right behind the quarterback it is the most compact formation you could possibly have in all of football and at the snap the three big dudes just go straight up the quarterback's ass and he'll get any art there's no way around it

he'll be mashed into a diamond one of the two either way you win you get an asset or a first down. You can't trust currency. Guess what you can trust, diamonds? Bill Snyder knows this. He survived the sack of Ithaca. The other game, I know we didn't really want to discuss Texas, but here we go.

I want to discuss something happier, which is Lamar Jackson, because I enjoyed discussing Lamar Jackson. Most people, I don't think, gave this enough pub because it came on at noon. I guess that's when people go grocery shopping who don't watch college football compulsively. that's not why they didn't give it enough pubs because the game was fucking over after eight minutes why why would you say that

do you think that I don't know 44 to nothing is a commanding halftime lead at which point at which point did uh did they pull Lamar Jackson off the field nope share as hell didn't

how else is you going to get reps that's that's a really good point it actually is a good point with Lamar Jackson because they get up so fast and with such fury that Lamar Jackson honestly probably doesn't know how to play a fourth quarter

he's played one versus Clemson really everything else it's been kind of dicey NC State spent most of the last way talking about how well coached they were yeah they're pretty well coached they don't have a Lamar Jackson

they also by the way don't know how to deal with Louisville's defense and there's no crime in that most people don't Louisville's defense look great super disruptive nasty just yeah they were a handful they were a problem

like this makes Clemson Louisville look even weirder in retrospect because we often don't think about how styles make fights NC State had nine on the day that was with garbage time which was most of the game again if you're Clemson do you just look up every single week at Louisville's score and think like

who couldn't be me glad we don't have to play Clemsman glad we don't have to play Louisville anymore this year got that out the way like that's like you know all your bills are paid that's that feeling not having to play Louisville again at any point this season dodged a bullet that's what that is they dodged a bullet by getting Louisville i guess when they did how they did uh and i don't know under the certain correct phase of the moon that they did because i don't think that's how that game would go again um can we talk about Iowa real quick i'm sorry i'm sorry i'm already doing What does not talk about Iowa things do not happen real quick, unless we're talking about the field goal. Yeah, we're talking about the field goal. Jason, since you're our designated narrator for all of these things, lay it out for the people. So I believe it was about four minutes left. The score was, I was down by eight.

Eight points, yes. Eight points, 14 to 6, I believe. Had the ball around the 30 or so, maybe a little further out, but. a makeable field goal range. I believe it was a fourth and five, and Iowa elected to kick the field goal and missed it, which gave Wisconsin the ball in decent field position. They drove down and kicked a field goal of their own,

and that was pretty much that. And when asked about it after the game, why not just go for the touchdown? Because if you get the six and the two, the game's tied up. Kirk Farrant said, no, we needed two scores. You know, we were down by eight. We needed two scores.

and he was asked again like basically you know two point conversions exist right and his reply was more or less uh yeah it was we felt it was the best decision at the time so i have two i have two feelings here um first of all people get people got really upset about this and you know suggested that kirk ferrance doesn't know how to do math and that he's just this crusty old idiot at this point that's on you man if you ask kirk ferrance hey why did you do the unnecessarily conservative thing that had basically no chance of helping your team in the long run and just

was cowardly and stupid, the answer is, because I'm fucking Kirk Farrants and I get paid to do that. I get paid very well. What incentive has anyone ever given him to not be Kirk Ference? Wasn't that the whole story of last year, though? That he was slightly different? They're getting bold, they're

mixing it up, like, they're returning punts more aggressively. Oh, Kirk's letting his hair down. We're returning punts a little less conservatively. But my alternate theory is this. It's not that Kirk Farrants can't do math. It's that he refuses to use a computer and that he's still using a rulebook from before the two-point rule was brought in, whenever the hell that was. And they keep emailing him updated rule books.

And he's like, yeah, yeah, yeah, I got the old one. I'm good. I got it. Nothing beats the originals. I got it on vinyl. I think maybe he's hit the point where he no longer uses any new technologies, even if those technologies are just rewrites of rules. Like, do you think Kirk Farrant's DVR is anything?

He's never, he's never updated his operating system. Not a chance. Didn't the solid verbal have him on and ask him about his favorite movie? And it was something from like 1970, like the last movie he's seen. And it was like, shocking or something, yeah. Man, why would you have Kirk Farrantz? on he's a nice man he's a nice man he's a nice man but man like what like look at that like look at the way he coaches football look at his like what what are you going to get out of him

i need to go listen to this because the solid verbal of brilliant i just want to see if they actually got something out of him like i don't think this is a dude that you get on for color this is yeah this this game was terrible yeah and wisconsin i give you very little credit winning it this was every wisconsin iowa game ever and i hate watching them yeah this was everything that wisconsin i was supposed to be unwatchable can you believe this in oklahoma texas tech are the same sport oh i was glad you mentioned that by the way can i go can i go back to texas for just a second oh man i thought i was the asshole i got it no this is a segue remember what's their what's their escape plan their escape plan's tom herman how his weekend go oh uh well he lost by

I think three scores to a team he talked shit about. It's correct. A team that still has a losing record. But he didn't do it with Texas University of Texas players. Okay. He just needs a resource bump. Yeah, so he can lose by three scores. With the University of Texas players.

Talking shit about a better three and four opponent. Oh, God. Okay. Yeah, Oklahoma, Texas Tech. This was everything that I think you wanted it to be, the 66-59 final. No, no, that's not an overtime score. That's the final score.

We'll keep playing this game, by the way. Pat, Mahomes, 88 attempts. That's over three games, right? Nope, that's one game. I know that that's, like, that's a shocking number even for air raid. It's one shy, I believe, of Connor Halliday's record for most passes in a game. Also in a loss, which is great. We're dealing with here.

Through 5 TDs at 734 yards. If you add up all of this, there's all of this. there's almost a mile of offense in this game because in addition to between the two teams yeah yeah between the two teams and and if you add all this up by the way uh uh Oklahoma established the the bizarre achievement of having a 500 yard passer a 200 yard rusher and a 200 yard receiver which has never I don't believe that's ever been done it's been i think Oklahoma people are saying it's never been done which it sounds hard to do um Mahomes had the most yardage

any college football player has ever recorded in any game completed set of Big 12 record for completions breaking Cliff Kingsbury's record um man this is I mean the most big 12 game

broke the Texas Tech yardage record which was 662 I mean shattered the Texas Tech I mean they set the Division 1 record for you know tied the Division 1 record for passing um I mean The score alone does not tell what happened in this game. The most big 12 game of all time, and I'm pretty happy we got to witness it.

It's so bizarre how, like, split down the middle it was, too. Both teams finished with exactly 854 total yards. Granted, they got it in different ways. But the difference in time of possession, Texas Tech had slightly more at 30 minutes, 53 seconds. Oklahoma, 29 minutes, seven seconds. If you are Mike Stoops, what are you doing with your team this week? He said, there was a quote where he said, we tried man, we tried zone, none of it worked. And I would tend to agree.

Yeah, longest scoring drive? Longest scoring drive. Remember we were talking about glorious seven and eight minutes scoring drives, that KSAG game? Longest scoring drive, Texas Tech had a 425er. that was at a methodical 425 holy shit 425 is the longest drive in the whole game it gets worse when you look at

Oklahoma because Oklahoma Oklahoma was scoring in a minute 37 44 seconds okay they did punt there were a couple of punts in this game that happened and then the rest of them are like 42 seconds a minute 26 a minute

Oklahoma scored faster than Texas Tech not great incredible and for any big 10 fans who just heard us complain about Wisconsin Iowa and then praise this I mean just wait till Ohio State Michigan

when we're like openly begging for 107 in hellish conditions like we're you know listen we're not just like you know it's not just about points I mean whatever the Big 10's got Michigan Michigan is happy to put as many points on you as they conceivably can we love Michigan Michigan well we're up 34 points on

Illinois. Don't care. Fake punt. Fake punt. Yeah. Oh, we're still up and we got a bad spot on fourth and two. Don't care. A challenge. I don't know that Jim Harbaugh... I mean, it's already well established that Jim Harbaugh has no off switch, right? Correct. He is... He is the robot at the beginning of Robocop that they try to use the stop command on. He's like, nope, I got these guns for a reason. And I'm lighting you up.

a drastic chill deficiency like cannot conceive of like the idea of not competing no matter what the score i mean keep in mind this is the man who basically made his very first national impression by choosing to score more points on pete carroll pissing off pete carroll pete carroll like already a troll of a coach got out trolled by jem harbaugh who just could not conceive of not scoring more points i think your best bet at this juncture is to prey on Jim Harbaugh's addiction to competition and sort of try to lure him into distracting things. Like a side quest. Just before the first quarter,

before the game starts, send a grad assistant over to the Michigan sideline. Have him holding two gallons of milk and just hand one to Jim and say, I bet I can chug this faster than you, fuck. You're on. And then he's throwing up for the whole fourth quarter, calling for fake puns anyway.

No way he's going up, man. Jim's keeping that down. He's going to look awful. He's going to have like a hand on his butt literally to like hold it in. And he's, he's, yeah. Jim, Jim Harbaugh just pooped a wheel of Monterey Jack. And Michigan goes for it on for it. Players are so inspired. They're like, dude, this is amazing.

Run through a wall for that, man. I'd do this. I'd get a sleeper grad assistant to, just put Pokemon Go on his phone oh yeah he's rolling the stadium during the game right you section 37 hold still

hold still I got to get this war turtle you're in grave fucking danger um is there is there is there any any game or competition or sport

is there anything that you feel like you could safely compete against Jim Harbaugh in. Like, it may be a... You mean it win? Just walk away feeling like, okay, I never felt threatened for my life. It would have to be like a computer game where you're, like, you're playing, you know, it's not local internet. Oh, you're not in the same building.

Right, right. I just want Jim Harbaugh. I just want Jim Harbaugh to go on the prices, right? Because he'll rip that fucking wheel off its moorings. He's also. he's also taken to wearing the not horn rims i don't think that's the exact glasses they're the same model of glasses worn by in his own words he wore uh he wore them in honor of woody hayes malcolm x and michael douglas now um not not hold on not michael douglas

no no that's what i'm getting to that's michael douglas but but which michael douglas ryan Michael Douglas in falling fucking down. Which I'm pretty sure, which I'm pretty sure Feach is a movie about road rage that goes so far awry that it ends up with one man shooting a rocket launcher. That man is Michael Douglas. If you think Jim Harbaugh wouldn't shoot a rocket launcher over a bad call, you are very wrong. Woody Hayes, known rageaholic who in addition to that also, uh, also said of the Mi Lai massacre that, you know, they probably deserved it, unless they were like under the age of five.

That's Woody Hayes, all right? And then Malcolm X, whose appearance in this list of people is so baffling to me. I'm just going to punt. I'm going to do the Big Ten thing, y'all. And now we will talk about a different game. Hey, let's hats off to the UCLA defense. I think, you know, Mike Gundy talked about the other day how, you know, It made sort of a confusing comment about kids today on their phones and blah-b-de-blah.

And it's very easy to look at college students, people in this generation and say, oh, they're selfish, they're self-centered. UCLA's went out of its way to make a retirees day. And I think that's fucking awesome. Yeah, truly honoring our senior citizens. They gave Joe Williams a senior citizen discount is what it was. That's right. Early Bird.

This young man who came out of retirement because, Utah's running back depth chart had disappeared and then set the school record because you got to play UCLA. That's pretty awesome. That and remember how UCLA was going to be a run first, hard nose. Oh, you mean they threw 70 passes, even though Josh Rosen wasn't in the game? Is that what you're talking about? Yeah, that's done. That's over.

So they're onto a new brand. Yeah UCLA is now 1 and 4 in conference play This is This is not a good team And this is a team That I'll give them Oregon State at this point

Just because even though Oregon State Did beat Cal and it has been better this year Than they have in years past This is a team that I don't feel great About getting to a bowl game They still got to go on the road to Colorado In a couple weeks They have the USC game as usual

and they finish up with a Cal team that is you know sometimes really good sometimes not so good but UCLA all season long they're just kind of shit UCLA kind of shit disagree with this if you will it's totally accurate the other game that I would like to

highlight before we go Oregon Cal I stayed up for this because I'm stupid this game started at 1030 this game ended on Eastern time at around 304. 304. In case you wonder whether

Cal just giving you more football, whether you wanted or not, was the thing that happened. Yeah, that happened. Cal just gives. They give and give and give. You may not want to keep watching them, but they'll make you.

Because by extending the game to unreasonable lengths and then taking it to OT, oh, Cal, just giving whether you want them to be or not. Oregon now falls to 0 and 4 in the Pact 12. A much more competitive Oregon team than they had been in weeks past. Mind you, this was against who?

Cal. Yeah, you almost beat Cal. That's where Oregon is as a program. Maryland beat Michigan State, and we were all just sort of like, yeah, I mean, that sounds right at this juncture.

Nobody seemed particularly phased or perturbed by it. Just sort of like, yeah, I mean, Michigan State, not a good team. Who do they get to play next? Well, that's right. The number two, Michigan Wolverines. That game is going to be not safe for television. Grim.

It's a grim, grim game. A few other things I'd like to note. I'm going to, in the top whatever this week, I'm going to rank UCF probably third. For purely salt reasons, I assume. Yep. Yep, UCF. They're four and three. You say, why would you put a four and three team in there? I'm going to answer that. We've been tracing the history of this rivalry. It's rather one-sided because only Yukon believes it exists. Bob Yaco just picked a rival. Out of nowhere, he chose UCF. He put a rivalry clock. Because I guess when you start a football program as a new coach, you just need to put a rivalry clock against somebody to remind them of impending conflict. And I use that word because this was termed the civil conflict. with the conflict being the CT at the end for Connecticut. Yeah. UCF in Connecticut, UCF beats them in Connecticut, 24 to 16.

The rivalry trophy comes out, and UCF leaves the field without it. Yeah. I don't know whether they forgot it. No, no, no, no, no, no. They don't care. No, they don't care. They openly said they don't care. Last year at this game, UCF mascot was holding up that Regina George stopped

trying to make the silver con to the cap-bac sign. Yukon literally did not even ask UCF if they wanted to have a rivalry. The UCF's, like, I think the first time anyone acknowledged it was Scott Frost, someone asked him about it this year, and he sort of said, oh, you know, sure, conference games. Those are, yeah. Yeah, we try to win those. I think at this point of your Connecticut, just pick a new, just pick a new.

new rivalry, pick preferably somebody you've never even played and just be like, yep, that Ohio State, they're a rival now. Ohio State of Yukon is our greatest rivalry. We've never played on the field because they're too, that's how, that's how hate-filled

this clash would be. We hate each other so much, like our boys are holding us back. Like if this fence wouldn't here, boy, we'd be playing 12 times a year. Yep. Never played Texas A&M. There. There's a new riot. Yukon, Yukon A&M.

Huskies. Husky's Aggies. Husky Aggies. And the trophy is just a very fat dog.