Shutdown Fullcast - Shutdown Fullcast 4.47 - Welcome To The Universe Where Nebraska-Wisconsin Is A Thing

Episode Date: October 26, 2016

Week 9's games: pretty okay! There's an interesting Virginia Tech-Pitt clash on Thursday, a number of noon games you can watch instead of Kentucky-Mizzou on Saturday, a Baylor-Texas matchup that surely won't turn into a bunch of yelling and accusation hurling, one of Washington's last regular season chances to do something people will pay attention to, a Wisconsin-Nebraska game that one team will leave still undefeated, and Clemson-Florida State. Some of these games we talk about with analysis and thought! Many of them we do not and it's the same old bullshit and dumb jokes! One nice-ish thing is said about Notre Dame! Sort of! Papa John is discussed aaaaaagain! And we check in on Jason's bet with Steven Godfrey on whether or not Kansas can win 3 games. (Spoiler: maybe, but you'll need to wait a little.) Learn more about your ad choices. Visit megaphone.fm/adchoices Learn more about your ad choices. Visit podcastchoices.com/adchoices

Welcome to the shutdown full cast. This is, well, man, we are on week nine. Is it week nine? Not prepared for this. This has gone far too quickly. And yet not, if you're a fan of certain teams. Hi, Texas. We're here to discuss college football.

Spencer Hall from SB Nation Every Day Should Be Saturday.com. As always, joining us from the booth in New York, Ryan Nanny. What? What? And from beautiful Kennesaw, Georgia, where he lives in the loudest, quietest neighborhood in the world, Jason Kirk. Neighbors are doing some carpentry. Sounds like, I mean, they got a goddamn forge going over there. Might be making, like, horseshoes or something.

Y'all hear that? Maybe you live in Fallout 4. I might, I might, I might, yeah, I might just throw, like, a metal fork around my house by, like, pointing with my hands. I might collect a bunch of tires. Everyone has a gun. Everyone has a gun. Guns that shoot staples and bottles and whatever you find. This dude in a tricorner hat knocks on your door every five minutes saying,

another outpost need your help. Yeah. I get murdered by mosquitoes every five minutes and then stop playing for two months. That sounds like Georgia. Georgia football. I really wish that there was one character in Fallout who, whose whole mission was just like, man you know if we can just get virginia tech football started up again there's nobody out here in the wasteland that they can they can beat them so that's a de facto national championship yeah

i like that that implies after the nuclear apocalypse virginia tech's still trying to play football because like you know if all the cities get bombed what's that got to do with blacksburg that ain't in a city like the mountain's too high the radio the radioactiveness ain't even going to roll in they're why nobody why don't nobody want to play us this is what nuclear winter scenario has never account for is that there will be somebody who says well shit man oh you know why can't we keep playing football sure sure recruiting's going to be a little harder but so i don't know west virginia for the national title every year yeah every year and west virginia tech somehow still has an empty trophy case danna holgerson with half his face melted off becomes a college football's

greatest coach hey listen they dropped the bomb we kept pouring rails I'm immune to radiation, thanks to all that liquor. Well, listen, once those mutants kick in, D-line's going to be popping. The week that will be, gentlemen, you summed it up best, Jason. Two words. Pretty good. Yeah. This isn't a week with one big blockbuster game.

And in fact, it has a few games that kind of fell off from the beginning of the season. Michigan, Michigan State, Clemson, Florida State, Baylor. Texas, Miami Notre Dame, so on and so forth. But I think enough interest has emerged elsewhere. Nebraska, Wisconsin, that's big and important all of a sudden. And clubs and FSU, that's still pretty big. So I think there's enough up and down the schedules where you can very confidently say we're going to get some good games out of the schedule.

I think a couple of those dogs are going to end up being good. For instance, Michigan and Michigan State, I really do actually think that'll end up being more competitive than people think. Now, mind you, this is a game where Mark D'Antonio himself was asked the question. So nobody thinks you can win this game. Oh, boy. Oh, God. They went and did it. They did. Now, remember, primary disrespect engineer for the upper northern United States is Mark D'Antonio. He will take five rubber bands, two paper clips, and a double A battery

and manufacture a nuclear reactor of disrespect. for any scenario he's he's he's the anti tanker bell the harder you don't believe in him the more he like i bet if you had told mark dantonio at age 28 well you can't be president because you're not old enough he would have said i'll fucking show you you know what i'm going to be in that office in four years well that's where you're wrong because i i'm president now what oh holy shit he is wow they made a look up the constitution and what it says 28's the cutoff i always thought I made a videotape of myself in the Oval Office to talk to me

and I eventually made the Oval Office because you know they did that Rose Bowl tape he filmed it before it starts with a little mark do you think he was going to quietly delete that if Michigan State did not make the Rose Bowl right or was he just going to pass it off the next year oh I think he had I think he had one for every bowl

prepped every Big Ten here I am in an Outback Steakhouse after hours a bar back is making out with a waiter and I'm eating bread Hello men You're at the heart of Dallas Bowl I just want you to know that you will be the ones

To play in Dallas Told you we could get there And you did it I anticipated this and created only this video Only this video to welcome you It's like They look out like why the fuck is coach recruiting It's all these weird places

And in the middle of May Why didn't he go to Detroit, of all places? Hello, hello, Sid. Hello, 2017 San Diego Chargers. I'm here talking to you. Yeah, this is a week where it's uphill, uphill skiing for Michigan State. But it's a rivalry game, and that's really the only thing you can say. Yeah.

What level of bloodshed and pain do you think will satisfy it? Not Jim Harbo. we already sort of went through and that well that well can be filled over and over again but the average michigan fan after last year how bad of a ass kicking do they need to be like all right i'm satisfied if it it it can't happen if it were me yeah yeah it can't happen well and you do have a michigan tattoo so you're the closest thing to a michigan fan on spencer speaking to your arm and tell us what it says yeah what is what is what is what is what is Totoro thing.

Totoro? You know what? I'm going to have to translate from the Japanese here. Okay, because that's, of course, what Totoro speaks. I need to go ahead and get this. But yeah, I think for me, if you're just asking me, there is no amount of points. Okay? None. There's absolutely no limit to how, what would be running up the score here?

Oh, I think, I think if you hit 79, because then you've established, Michigan State is worse than Ruggers. I think that would be a cutoff. Yeah, I think that has to be combined with, the most Michigan thing that could happen in this game was, would be Michigan jumps out to, I don't know, let's say a 35-0 halftime lead, and then puts in the backups, but they keep, as they did against Ruckers, running up the points. I think if you do it just with the starters, that sort of loses the luster, you would, ideally Michigan can get to a point where it's nothing but walk-ons and they're driving the field on Michigan State. Yeah, this is going to, this is going to hurt.

This is not just last year. I mean, this is D'Antonio's own Michigan since he showed up, clearly enjoys it. You know, they've clearly turned around, like sort of owned all the insults and thrown them back at Michigan for years, little brother, all that stuff. After his very first game, pride goes before the fall is what he said. And, well, I mean, I don't, I don't, I don't, I don't want to say Mark D'Antonio isn't a humble man, but he's probably about to fall. Yeah, this is, by the way, like, this is the closest thing I've seen in terms of potential for brutality, the Oregon-Washington game.

This is as close to that game in terms of the potential brutal revenge. On the flip side, maybe the last month of Michigan State football has just been a very elaborate game of possible. Uh-huh, uh-huh. Yeah, that's, yeah, that's what they did. I'm trying. I'm trying to find anything positive. Can we talk about Virginia Tech pit? Hachidubanme! By the way, that's the number of points. 80. Okay. Thank you, Totero.

Yeah. I'm kind of interested in this Virginia Tech team. I feel like that's a weird thing to say in 2016, but I think they're kind of good. I think next year they'll be real good. I like Gerard Evans a lot. Virginia Tech might have the third or fourth best quarterback in the ACC right now. By the numbers, yeah, right up there. By the numbers, he's thrown 19 touchdowns to two interceptions.

He gives him something on the ground, which is kind of important because until last week, the Hokies had not done a lot with the running attack. Also, let me speak for the defense here. That would be Pitt, because Pitt, yeah, they're five and two. The combined points from those two losses, eight. they have lost two games by eight points, which is one, Super Pitt,

but two also promises that this will at least be a close margin, interesting kind of game. It should be. Yeah, Pitt's able to run the ball a lot. They've got 200 rushing yards at least in six straight games. They don't really like to throw the ball. They're kind of like, yeah, 15 pass attempts. That seems, that seems...

That's cool. That's plenty. That's plenty. Back away from the table. Yeah, they're like, that's, they view passing as sugars on their food pyramid. Not none, but in moderation. I don't, we're talking about the state of Pennsylvania. I don't know if not much sugar is the metaphor.

Maybe they, I think they view them as vegetables. No, but in, they view them as vegetables. Okay. I see. This is the, their food pyramid is perished. They're one of those, yeah, exactly. They're one of those, like, places that views potatoes as a vegetable. This is the mo-carb diet.

Yeah. Mac and cheese is a vegetable. It's listed that way on the menu. It says it's the side, doesn't it? And you can get sides on vegetable, veggie plate. Therefore. That's right. Like cookout.

Chicken nuggets are totally a side dish. Spencer, what's the high, or Ryan, have you been to cookout? Yes, I have. Okay, so what is the highest number of dollars that y'all have ever spent in one sitting on a meal, like just for you, not counting kids and whatever? Me? Yeah, yeah, yeah. Well, everybody, but yeah. I mean, the most, I don't know if I've spent $20 there to feed four people.

It's the best place on Earth. This is some real dad shit talking, but you can go there with a $20 bill and everyone rolls out saying, no more. No, no. I've made it sort of a goal. I want to see if I can eat $20 worth of cookout in one sitting. I want to see if it can be done. I'm up to like 11. Yeah.

I think cookout can really up the ante. I think they can say, okay, well, we can put a straw in your milkshake or we can put a chicken finger. Same cost. It doesn't cost anything. Oh, do you want your burger wrapped in paper or would you like it wrapped in a piece of pizza? Now, there are a few tips. The primary cookout hack is, of course, to get the cassidia as a side because it takes a very little space in your tray. You're going to win the big double burger because obviously that's,

bigger than any of the other sandwiches and then you go fries because you know that's a lot of space left over and like they'll give you like four onion rings that's that's that's not that's that's not kind of no you got you got to double that order of onion rings i will say that that's like i'm not even i mean i'm a glutton so take this with a a grain of salt you got to double the order of onion rings i think even a reasonable person would admit that yeah well you got to double everything because i mean it's 99 cents why would you only spend 99 cents you have you have you have You have at least 20 sort of 99 cent range price blocks to fill. Get them.

So this is the penny slot of fast food. Yeah. Yeah, I spent three hours there. And I somehow won $4. I feel terrible. My skin has kind of a rash on it. Also, you have to walk in with a bucket. Just making your phone with the penny slots.

Because you're going to need it. it's yeah it's it's listen you can this is this is a segue here you can chip away at it all day long but eventually the menu is going to get you you're gonna how fuck how fucked would you have been if there had been cookout in college when you were in college I don't know I mean how

is it worse than pizza like colorically if you want to gain weight there is no better way of doing it than by having cheap readily available pizza Like pizza is just garbage. It's delicious, but it's just garbage. It's just a bunch of flour and really cheap cheese, which is mostly just oil in kind of a solid form.

Like that's the kind of food they give like, you know, they give you, this is what Michigan did if you want the football link. Remember that Mike Gittleson, the old trainer at Michigan under Lloyd Carr, would have his linemen eat a pizza every night in order to gain weight. A large pizza. That was the scientific way that Michigan This was not in the 1970s by the way That's that that's like we're starting a space program

But we only have $18,000 to do it Right Yeah Michigan won a national title powered by all that pizza They did they did Michigan Michigan did real well And their linemen were all eating a pizza a night And laying on the floor holding their stomachs weeping That

God do how would you do any better than that Like frankly I'd probably be thinner today of cook i'd been around we'd probably be rich think of all the money we would have saved oh yeah so louisville's winning the national title yep pizza power i have to sing it every time i like how each week that you sing it it gets a little sadder no big papa like it's like a walkman where the batteries are slowly I think that's me simulating the effect of if I were for no reason I mentioned this to get repeated rounds of Botox on my face it would just gonna do burnouts in the stand watch me now love me I will live forever do a photo by the way last diversion

before we get to the next round of games you did see the photo of John Schnatter Louisville booster in a Kentucky like jersey shirt, right? What? Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. I didn't see it. Yeah. Yeah. That boy good on Twitter shared it and said, yeah, you can keep him. Hoosier. Wow. Wow. Called him a Hoosier. He got down. He's pizza Drake.

He's a Drake. That's good. Can't wait for this John Schnatter. Push a T-Beefe. It'll be great. Watch Push the T-Starter's pizza chain with bankrupt's Papa Johns. Put out, I'll call it so far, John. The jingle would be so much better, too. It would, because he already wrote one of the most legendary fast food jingles of all time, the I'm Lovin' It theme for McDonald's. That was Pusha T.

He'd bury you, Papa John. He would absolutely bury you. And then he'd write a track about how hard he buried you and turned you into Little Little Caesar. The littlest Caesar. That's what Pusha T would reduce you to. the littlest caesar god that you know what that should absolutely be the title of the lifetime movie about papa john um do either do either one of you have a question so we can stop this uh horror scape that we're painted yeah there's a you've got one yeah there's a good one

let's see here let's this dial this rascal up from t j on twitter t j ramsie forty four is the at could a team made up of bama's second string players and coached by lane win the cc east yeah yeah um and not just being smart ass but uh yeah we took a look at this a few months ago andy hutchins did for sp nation um bama's backups average star rating it's four their backups average four star rating and that's counting a walk on who gets playing time um as you know as spencer wrote about today there is suffered a suffered injury in the secondary and in their six db package the backup walking in is a five-star upper-classman. This actually went in the reverse order you think.

Eddie Jackson was a three-star recruit coming in, obviously mis-scouted because he's phenomenal. Eddie Jackson, the three-star recruit, will be replaced by a four-star recruit at his starting position, and then at the backup, backup position in the dime packet he is replaced by a five-star recruit. Yeah, let's not forget that Tim Williams, one of Bama's best pass rushers, was a backup last year and had to make a choice of whether to be drafted in the second or third round or come back and bump it up to first. Like their backups could be drafted. That's incomprehensive.

And like, you know, behind, you say, oh, well, without Jalen Hertz, well, okay, which, you know, which of their three, four, five star quarterbacks are they throwing in there? They can try out copper Batman, buddy. What's you going to do about that? He'd probably be the best quarterback in the SEC East. I mean, we're talking about the SEC East where Kentucky is currently in second place. So I'll take the BAMAs B team. Yeah, yeah.

I hate that that's true, but it is. It's totally true until your team gets 30 assistant coaches, has five offensive line coaches. Oh, I'm at the Kentucky second in the SEC East part. That part is true. I like that, yeah. It's also true that unless you want to devote 100 to 150 people, more money than you currently are spending on football,

and yeah, have just way, way more scouting than you even thought possible at the college level. guess what you uh you're not ready for bama you just not um Kentucky is Kentucky is one of the noon games this week they play Missouri uh on the road how many of these other noon games have to just be total snooze fest for you to watch any of that game um Lamar jackson will probably need to exit that game about two minutes in like somehow they're just up 28 to nothing on virginia after two minutes, and it's only slightly surprising, and Lamar says that's, I think I've made my point. I think

we're done here, yeah. I mean, West Virginia's playing a road game at OK State. That's going to be hard to pull away from. And Michigan-Michigan State carnage. So Kentucky Mizzou is way, way down on the list here. Yeah, to be honest, I'd probably like watch,

I'd probably watch Duke at Georgia Tech before I'd watch that. I mean, Wagner's playing UMass. UMass is bowl ineligible, got nothing to lose Yeah Penn State

Penn State at Purdue Can I give you my favorite NAAAAA game? It's Farmageddon, brother Kansas State, Iowa State's going on at the time Oh hell Zoo is not a top 10 noon game Yeah I'll watch

Peru State at Graceland The NAA game available on ESPN Extra I'm sorry, I'm sorry Could you repeat that? Those teams Peru State at Graceland God, these, these auto, these computer generated things get more and more ridiculous. I was going to say, they're getting awesome.

Moving down its rivalry chart, asking East Carolina if this wants to go to prom. Uh-huh. There's no, not us either. Keep it moving. Yeah, you get Spike King's UCF at Houston, which UCF, by the way, now I'm practicing spite and pettiness to the degree where I think they'll roll into Houston. And if they win, they'll spray paint, what city is this on that skyline in the end zone? Like, we don't know where this is. What is that?

Houston's UCF has never heard of you Yeah we don't even know where we are Is this like Missouri or something That has more to do with Florida's geographic Teaching I thought I was going to say this is the education system at work I have a quick question I want to answer by the way

That's interesting and relevant to another Newton game that we have on the slate Which would be Penn State Coming off a massive win they go to Purdue That's going to be ugly, but you should know this. Penn State at Purdue, I did get a question that I wanted to be real flippant and ask out, this is from at Nikki Swag 71, Nick Wagner, said, Will Penn State went out?

Initially, ha, ha, I wanted to be like, yeah, no, no, no, ha, just answer the question of the fun word. Will Penn State went out? Look at that schedule. Yeah, that schedule. Let's just look at it, man, because they do, they're going to be Purdue, barring some sort of phenomenal disaster we have not anticipated. You know, like Sequin,

Barkley taking the field should be enough to beat Purdue, one would hope. But then they get Iowa at home, which is manageable if you've watched Iowa. They're probably what, a 7 and 5 team on the year. They go to Indiana.

That's probably the scoreliest one. And then it's at Rutgers versus an extremely disappointing Michigan state team. Penn State could run the table. I mean, this could end up. I mean... Yeah. I hear what you're saying, but this is the same team that barely beat Minnesota at home,

the same Minnesota team that barely beat Rutgers in Minnesota. Yeah, I mean, barely beat Ohio State. We all know how trash they are. If you're asking me, is it more likely that Penn State runs the table or loses two games? I'll take runs the table. But if the option is also loses one game, yes, I think they have one more loss. I agree. I looked this up earlier, and S&P Plus Bill Connelly's advanced, analytics system has Penn State winning 4.09 games over the next five, which basically

probably going to win four games. They'll drop one along the way. But yeah, nine and three. That's good. That's better than anybody predicted, I'd imagine. Yeah, no, that's a phenomenal result for them. So I wanted to be flippant. But hey, at noon, you can watch a potential march towards nine, dare I say, if you get lucky, maybe 10 wins. Or you can watch James Franklin waste every bit of goodwill that he built up beating Ohio State by falling flat on his fucking face against Purdue. I'd respect the move, to be honest.

I'd really... What's that? I've built up credit in my emotional bank account. I'd like to withdraw all of it. Fuck you. I don't need your love. Just like a man. Just like a man.

That's the noon slate. Other than that, you get to the 330 slate. We got Florida, Georgia. Do we have to talk about it. Florida, Georgia. We might, we haven't decided, we might do a separate Florida Georgia thing. Yeah, quarantine that section at all. We're not going to do it. Game's been absolutely

unwatchable for several years in a row, so I would just suggest that you as the casual viewer, skip it, while I gnash my teeth and practice cutting in order to get through at least two-thirds of this game before giving up. Dan! Let's point you elsewhere. Please. Let's walk you away from Florida,

Georgia. Not Spencer, because he's stuck there, but you, the listener. Let's get you away from that. You got Washington. Utah. That might be the, I mean, whoever plays Washington is pretty much, I mean, if we thought Washington Stanford was going to be the back 12th game of the year? No, no, no. It's Washington, Utah, of all things.

And this is 14 wins between the two teams. Utah's, Utah, one of the quieter seven and one teams in the nation, Washington undefeated going in. Utah, if you watch them, they are, they're perpetually the scrappiest team, which is funny to me that, like, Kyle Whittingham got Utah up to a certain talent level, and had a lot of success, and that he's like, no, I'm going to stick with the, I'm going to stick with these parts. All of our players are defensive linemen and punters.

That's cool. It's also, it's also Washington's last chance to get, probably last chance to get a big win to add to their resume. Because you go down this list. After this, they play at Cal, they host USC, they host Arizona State, and they go to Wazoo for the Apple Cup. And if you look at the schedule they played before, it's entirely possible we get to the end of the regular season not not to the pack 12

championship although maybe the pack 12 championship and Washington will not have beaten a single team in the top 25 granted in part it's because they beat these teams and that helps them tumble out of the top 25 but yeah they I feel like they have to get this one against Utah just because the strength of schedule is so thin that if they drop this they're not coming back out for the playoffs. Also keep this in mind as well that people who make polls and vote, they don't watch West Coast football. Still true. But they might

if it's on at 3.30 in the afternoon. I think that works in Washington's favor, though, because, you know, if you don't watch any games after this, you just look up and you say, oh, 12-1-1? Okay, sure. Yeah, so I saw the beat the match at 3-30. Yeah, I wasn't asleep for that. It was good. Still true in the year 2016. People not watching West Coast football.

Yeah, very true. Instead, they'll all be tuning to NBC to watch Miami and Notre Dame two of America's proudest football programs that are definitely still relevant and good. Oh, watch this premium NBC content. Oh, I have a relevant reader question. At Maxwell John.

What is Notre Dame's current win-loss record? We should review this. People forget. All right, I'm going to say numbers, and you tell me when to stop when I've hit the number of wins. Okay. three no four oh nope five folder seven nope frosty one mm hmm a little

hard getting there two yeah there we go there we go yeah we did it two don't yeah they're two and five yeah they're two and five say it loud say they're proud they've beaten two opponents doza Cinco Jesus that's evil that's uh Yeah, Notre Dame, two and five, Miami, four, and three. Beat them up, Miami. Just do it. Put the sucker into the ground. Also, let me.

Which, which team would this, which team would this be more demoralizing for the fan base if they lose? Because if you're Miami, I mean, look at the list of fucking Stanford beat Notre Dame. Stanford scored five points in a football game last week. Yeah. Yeah, they did. And if you're not, and if you're Notre Dame, you are the one thing that gets Miami football back on track this season. Yeah. I think there's more emotion at stake for Miami fans, because if you lose this, not only have you lost four in a row, you've given, you've made FSU fans feel even better about themselves.

Like, you've lost to FSU a fourth time in the row, and that's, that was the, that was the meme under Al Golden is after every time they lose to FSU, they lose their next two or three games. And then you make it even worse under Mark Rick, man. Like, I don't think, I really don't think Notre Dame fans can get all that much lower, though I am excited to find out if they can and see, see what. two and six looks like but they've already given up on this season like they're already sort of resigned to like well we're stuck paying brian kelly just gave him an extension so i feel like miami fans have more emotions at stake here okay yeah i agree i will probably for that reason i will probably 51% route for notre dame i that i that uh you know you can try to do that but it would also that's the nicest thing we've said about notre dame on this podcast in months but don't

say we that's that was you that said that no i know i know it really is although i will I will also point... Hold on. How's Texas 9 and 3 looking? Pretty good. Great. It's great. We're straight while you mention in it. Pretty good. What year are we talking about?

Texas also plays at 3.30. Who boy. Yeah, who do they play in? Is this a game that serves any sort of emotions or obsessions among Texas fans? Just, you know, little local school local commuter school by the name of Baylor. Don't know if you heard of them.

Crepped up to number eight in the rankings. I'm sure that's a typo, undefeated, you know, no big deal. Yeah, not really a school that, like, Texas fans have, you know, it's just parked in Texas fan psyches over the past three or four years or so. Definitely doesn't mean that in an emergency hire of Jim Grobe, Baylor did a better job hiring a head coach than Texas did with a nationwide coaching search that got them Charlie Strong. Definitely doesn't mean that.

Why would you say that? Why would you think that? Definitely doesn't mean that Texas should panic and hire Ted Roof. I think they pull up the Cadillac. They go steal Jim Grobe. Oh, shit. You know what? That would be, after all the years of some segment of the Texas fan base saying,

come on, we just got to get Art Riles. Like, he can't take Baylor over Texas. Just offer Jim E. It's like there's some booster who just made the order. Bring me the Baylor coach. And he forgot to update it. He forgot to specify. And now the handlers are just like, I'm following orders.

I like it purely as sort of a game of chicken where you're like, hey, we don't want Jim Grobe, but we do want to see if we can scare Baylor into giving him a stupid contract. Jim Crow making $6 million. You might be able to get Brian Kelly. I have to go back and trash Brian Kelly here for, a moment because today, these were Brian Kelly's comments on getting a vote of confidence, the dreaded vote of confidence. Can't say it without saying dreaded from Notre Dame Athletic Director, Jack Swarbert.

Well, I was disappointed, actually. Let's just pause right there. First sentence was, well, I was disappointed actually. Forget, there's a whole paragraph of stuff that comes after this. But the first words out of Brian Kelly's mouth when somebody says, yeah, that's the guy for the job is, well, I was disappointed actually. I mean, he doesn't want to be there. Yeah. But any time that your athletic director has to come out and say that as a head coach,

you're disappointed at any kind of comments like that have to be made. So I didn't ask him. That was his decision. But I clearly understand what he was doing. He was probably sick and tired, being sick and tired too. Oh, my God. So did Brian Kelly just undermine his own athletic director's vote of confidence? He's going to blame Swarbert for their next law.

I know it. Like, I really wish he had just said, well, honestly, I just, I think Jack's making a mistake there. I think the move would be like, you know, while Jack has had a rough season, I have full confidence that he is the right guy to get this athletic department moving forward next year. I'm going to invest and commit to helping him figure out how to do better. Yeah. Yeah, that's, that's where Brian Kelly's. that man and if they lose to miami oh a delight anyway uh i do want to take another relevant reader question here it's a very quick one which was from jeff harmon at do you double down it is how will the

nfl ruin patrick lowercase mahomes he spells mahomes like h o m m es which it would be in french like maum maum i like it it's good uh how will the nfl ruin patrick mahomes don't know if there's They're going to have to. This year might do it. I mean, shoo, yeah, if he has any arm left. Are we suggesting that Patrick Mahomes is going to be anything more than a third stringer? Well, for the L.A. Rams? Is that not where Air Raid quarterbacks tend to go? God. Go to the, man, go to.

Go play for Jeff Fisher. Yeah, that's a great idea. The NFL is really smart. No, go don't play for Jeff Fisher. Go have a seat. That's the whole point. Go have a seat for Jeff Fisher. I really like, Jared Goff tweeted out some, I think it was a Verizon ad or something. something, but it was something about like, love my team, watch our games only on Verizon, blah, blah, blah.

And the ad, the ad said something to the effect of like, find your football life balance. And it was like, Jared, it's not the life part of that equation that we're worried about on your behalf right now. That and that and this, you know, if you're going to learn anything from Jeff Fisher, I think it is a good idea for young players to go because you can learn that the NFL is a scam, it's a fraud. You should take every lesson you can get from Jeff Fisher.

I hope when Jeff Fisher called Jared Goff and said, hey, we're taking you first. I hope he was like, you know what, the checks come either way. That's all I'm saying, buddy. You can get to a second contract as a proven third string guy. I like the idea of learning about balance from Jeff Fisher because he's going to bring you in about 8 and 8 every single year. I mean, if your choice was to go be on the Rams roster and not play, and everybody say, why isn't Jared Goughball or go play for Cleveland? I mean, fuck, Kevin Hogan's going to start an NFL game.

Yeah. Now, this is getting to the question of whether Patrick Mahomes gets out of this year. Because Patrick Mahomes is on some sort of exaggerated remake of Nick Foll's final year at Arizona. Because, as you know, Patrick Mahomes threw 88 times for something like 736 yards and accounted for 800 yards of offense in a loss to Oklahoma. Prompting Chris Brown with smart football to wonder, why didn't they just go full onside at this point? Why are you ever going to attempt to play defense?

Ever. You shouldn't. You should just because it wouldn't look any different than what you were doing. It really wouldn't. We're at that point. Like we're not even exaggerating with Texas Tech at all. I had to look up where Nick Foles is right now. Do either of you know?

um i think he's out of the league is he not no no he's he's not i give up he's uh not the eagles not the eagles um he's on the kansas he's on the kansas city chiefs this makes sense yeah yeah that's rich that's good he should cool yeah that um that the only defense that's worse in terms of your total defense which i know total defense not exactly the greatest stat in the world It's pretty great. It's arguably the worst. Yeah, I will tell you this. Even the worst stat, pretty accurate here.

Texas Tech, there's only one team below them. They're at 127. You know, the team... Who's the team below them? I can't do the voice as well as you do, Ryan. Oh, no. Oh, right. Oregon.

Well, you know, you know, basements are very roomy and cool, and they're a good place to store things that you don't need all season long, like linebackers or bad. coverage yeah let me just let me give you the run up let me give you the run up right just to give you an idea 123 Texas state 124 new Mexico state 125 bowling green 126 rice then it's texas tech and in last place organ what does it look there's a lot of Texas in there what doesn't fit what doesn't fit and has the Nike logo prominently emblazoned on it yeah I mean You know it's bad when Phil Nites

go into Niners games instead because the Niners are not good. Is he? Oh, man, he's going to go get Chip. He's going to go bring back Chip. Hey, listen, man, why would anything affiliated with Nike want to stop a run? Am I right?

You want to keep that going, boys? It's defense's marketing. Oregon this year is exactly the stereotype team that every idiot, Southerner always assumed Oregon was, like their universe. Don't talk about Bud that way. That's just fucking rude. No, but Bud just has fun.

saying Oregon has never won a title and all their men are very small. These are just facts. I'm talking about the people who are idiot uniforms. Don't play no defense and all that stuff. Well, this year they literally play no defense. After having good defenses under Chip Kelly, look at the per play numbers. And their uniforms really have gone off the rails this year. They're kind of a parody of Oregon now. 43.9 points a game. That's what you start with on the board if you're them. And if you're on the board in terms of having scoring, Well, you know, you're averaging a little over 50. So it's not working out.

You're not distributing the points properly. If you can just get all these games to be 50, 43, including your game this weekend against TCU, another struggling team. Man, this is going to be, this is not a struggle bus. That's not the right form of public transportation. It's like a light rail full of struggle. A struggle tugboat.

If we're going to continue to use Spencer's garbage total defense stat, and that's fine. I don't care. This is not a smart podcast, and if you thought it was, I'm sorry, you were lied to. Wisconsin's number nine, and it feels like every week we read some, it, it, it, it, we read some article that's like, oh yeah, Wisconsin just lost its top tackler. Again, who is killing the top tacklers on Wisconsin? This is like the 538.com article about like, why does the oldest person in the world keep dying?

Yeah, Wisconsin, I, I, I don't know how they keep doing it. I don't know how they keep playing strong, effective defense with all the injuries they seem to be suffering. But they're there, man. They've been phenomenal this year on defense. And they are. I admire teams that, I think it's weird to just admire teams based on record. Because, you know, Wisconsin at this point, five, and two, they get the award for me for being, you know, team it looks most painful to play. Right?

Like, they just, it looks like zero fun playing them. at all, right? Auburn is right there right now. Auburn also looks extremely painful to play because they pass the ball like 11 times a game and run at 70. And when the two in your five and two is one score games against Ohio State and Michigan,

and no real complaints here. Wisconsin, of course, has arguably the biggest game of the weekend, could be the Big Ten West title game against Nebraska, a team that really no one has any idea about it all. Like, we know exactly what Wisconsin is. Nebraska? What do we know about Nebraska?

Anything? Nebraska is the person at your 10-year high school reunion that you look at and you say, all right, not particularly handsome, not ugly, not that smart, but not stupid, not super athletic, not super charming, just sort of like, eh, all around. And then you find out, oh, yeah, that guy's worth $270 million. You're like, what the fuck? What did he do right? Yeah, corn subsidies, man.

Yeah, by the way, into the schedule, if they do not run through the end of the schedule in an unrealistic fashion, which I don't think they will, then this is the market correction where we discover that most of those were over leveraged. And that comes back down to just upper middle class. Remember back in week two, and we thought Nebraska beating Oregon was a pretty big deal. Okay. So in this case, you go to your 20-year high school year, and you find out that Nebraska's in prison for security. You find out that Nebraska took a huge tax loss in the 90s and hasn't paid the taxes. Jesus. Yeah, that might have happened. The other thing I would mention, by the way, we were bagging on Texas Tech. They're three and four. They're wildly entertaining. They're more better than two and five, isn't it?

Hey, way better than three and four. They got a conference win this year. That's improvement. Yeah, that's damning with faint praise. But here we are. Can I give you a much better stat, which is football outsider's original F-plus rankings? Okay, the combined rankings thus far for 2016. In Texas Tech, as problem-filled and as troublesome as they have been to themselves, you know, they're like 57th.

Okay? That puts them in the neighborhood with like Air Force and Wake Forest and Kansas State and teams that you just go, you know, they're all right. They're okay. You want to know where Georgia is? Mind you, I just gave you the 57th team. Where Georgia and Kirby Smart's first year is? I think we're going to go down.

You might want to press that arrow pointing southward because they are just above Syracuse at 72. Dude. Yeah, you want, I'm going to give you five teams above them because I enjoy making. Georgia look bad. Robbery week done the nerdiest way possible. That would be teams that are more efficient, Wyoming, SMU, Mississippi State, and Duke.

And nothing says advanced math like Jacksonville. And this is a Georgia Florida and Georgia Tech alum using computers to tell Georgia it's bad. This is levels. Well, the Georgia Tech part of him is the computers and the Florida part is

he stole it from somebody else. That is correct. Somebody else's computer, just like Cam Newton. Didn't do a lick of work and wrote my name on it just like Cam. You're a Gator at heart, buddy. Gator legend. Let's talk about Auburn because they play Old Miss this week. Auburn looks fucking great.

Old Miss does not. Let's just reverse it because you know this is a game. Old Miss is going to come so close to winning. Okay. It just makes, it makes too much. It makes too much sense. Everything's going so well. I'm not but but but not in the very care key area of stopping a running

it would just he'll figure something out he'll he'll figure something out they rank they rank 113 I'm not picking them to win but they won't lose your 53 in yards per carry allowed yeah they're getting beat they're getting beat by Iowa State hey I guess they better get out there and pass then Arizona sounds like they're going to have to throw the ball a lot Okay, all right. Yeah, but by the way. I think they can just let old Chad Kelly rip it. That's all that's going to happen.

All right, they're just going to let, they're just going to let old Chad get back there. And what's happened when Chad Kelly's been giving carte blanche to pass irresponsibly? Let's not talk about that. Let's talk about the heart. The heart's really what matters in this game. The heart, you want to talk about carries, the heart carries.

That's where the stray bullet will strike you from Chad Kelly's gun. From the AK-47, he's waving around in the street. remember these things actually happened we don't have to make any of this up remember that's college football we didn't make any of this up yeah um i mean old miss is probably going to lose this game but yeah but i think as usual old miss will probably make it entertaining they'll probably even keep it to within you know 30 unlike some c c west teams who cold um i do want to go back and takes some slight potential issue with what Jason said about Nebraska, Wisconsin being the most meaningful. Did you say it was the biggest game? I said it might be the biggest because I think

you're going to head to Clemson FSU. I am. Okay. So, so it's obvious, it's obviously big for Clemson because if they can go get a win in Tallahassee, even though this Florida State team is not quite as good as some teams of recent memory, that's huge. And, and I think we'll all but lock up the division for them whereas if florida state wins it opens the specter of louisville creeping back in to claim that crown um it also are we is there a possibility we're going to have to talk about two lost florida state uh being in the mix for the playoff because they're number 12 right now and no no no numbers louisville will save us louis trustin lamar jackson okay okay i'm just saying he's got they got the tiebreaker

the Marl will save us I'm not I'm not so much worried about I'm not so much worried about Louisville collapsing I'm saying what do we do if we get to the end of the season and we have a bunch of I think Bud gave us this there was a stat from David Hale at ESPN

about how there are I think six fewer zero or one lost power five teams at this point in the season than there were the last two so and that It feels like we are approaching the territory where two-two-lost teams maybe aren't in playoff contention straight up, but they are a lot closer to it than they were, right? Isn't that what that kind of implies? Maybe.

Wasn't Stanford, weren't they a two-lost team last year? And they were pretty close. Yeah, they lost to Northwestern and I forget who else. But Stanford was almost became the first two-lost team last year. So it'll happen at some point. And with so few unbeatens, maybe maybe this is your one. sneaks in. I mean, it feels to me like we're, you know, we do this every year around this time. We say, oh, we got clear playoff paths for the whole top four. You know what I mean?

And this year, I kind of almost believe it just because things look really, really clear for Bama, Clemson, Washington, and Michigan. And not even in the like, oh, they're playing nothing to easy teams thing, but also in the tiebreakers. Like the reason Clemson FSU for me has lost some shine is Clemson. lose this game and nothing changes. They still have the tiebreaker over Louisville. If they lose just this game, they're in the playoff no matter what. You know, like Washington, Washington, maybe they take a schedule bump. Maybe that hurts them. Maybe that opens the door a little bit wider for the Big 12. Um, but to me, you know, Michigan can afford a loss as long as

it's not to Ohio State. Um, you know, that's, that's what I want to get to. Because, if you look at week 14, rivalry week, rivalry week, the year, if things stay still, look at the number of potential ties, potential undefeated going down, look at the number of games that are pivot points for an absolute gridlock in this process, because Baylor and West Virginia have to play each other, right? Utah, Colorado. God, Jesus, that, oh, right, you're not wrong. One of the biggest Utah, Colorado match.

ups ever. Ever. I'm confident in saying. Okay, like week 13 and week 14, you get, they have to play each other. Alabama and Auburn have to play each other, right? And if you look at the schedule, if we are playing speculative fiction,

there's a possibility that the only real loss on Alabama's schedule left might be Auburn if they continue to improve. Yeah, if they get past, they got to go to LSU. Yeah. How's that gone? Not well. I want to run right. I want to run right at Alabama. Okay.

No, no. They got, they got Cajun trickery now. They'll run right. They'll run right around you. See? Ooh. Snazzy. They got a they got a roof full of hustle. That's what you got in here. Yeah. But then you get Washington. Washington has to go to Pullman, right? To play, we're initially we thought, oh, funny, this would just be a game of spiteful rivalry that might flippantly upset the whole board. No, Washington State's good. They will bang. with you. They're not fun. And Washington doesn't have much of a test past them and Arizona State left on the schedule. So there's a number of games here that you look at. Oh, can I interrupt one more from that weekend? Baylor, if they're undefeated at that point, do you know who they play in week 13? Is TCU, right? No. They play Texas. They play Texas. They play Texas Tech. Oh, we'll wreck everything. Well, can we pause? We're in

the big 12 so this isn't totally off topic uh jason can we just get a quick update on your your chicken bet with godfrey and how you feel about yeah man um well you know we're taking it one week at a time uh yeah we're just looking ahead to kansas has oklah o'clock oklahoma so uh you know we're just we're just um dialed in and hoping to get this this next l um feeling pretty good about this as a matter fact but uh yeah we're closing in on the magic number it's counting down uh i think kansas is one and six now just off the top of my head I don't have that memorized or anything, but it's certainly not the title of one of our Slack channels. I certainly don't happen to update it every single Saturday in one of our Slack notes.

So the number, they have to get to three wins for Godfrey to win the boat, right? Yeah, if they get to three, basically we have a double or nothing. And if they hold steady at one, even if they get two, I am debt-free. I've Dave Ramseyed this season. Right. because I just want you to know you're going to be sweating the last three weeks the last three games

Kansas Texas could be the most crucial game of the year for me and like goddamn Vance Bedford might be coding coaching Texas that week like why why why is all of our coverage this week slanted towards Kansas Texas

like Bill we need a Kansas Texas preview don't ask why how about Bill Bill I just need you to write 2,000 words about what Texas needs to do to beat Kansas, and I need you to send that directly to the athletic department. Thank you.

Just email that to Charlie Strong, please. Did you have him do film work for this? Yeah, just shut up. Shut up. Are you scouting for them? Never mind. Yeah. So while I understand your confidence,

I just don't get too far ahead of yourself. It's a long season. It is. And the chicken never forget. Are there any other games on this schedule that y'all want to talk about? Only this, that I would, one, like to point out, that Clemson at Florida State, probably still a banger. Like, this is probably, this probably still a wildly entertaining football game between two teams, one with a young but improving quarterback, and with Dalvin Cook, and with everything they have on offense, and whatever their defense decides to be that night, playing Clemson. And it'll be interesting to see if Clemson can, if Clemson can play loose.

They just haven't, like, I know they lost Wayne Galman, and that was one of the reasons that they stalled out versus NC State. They had to rely on Deshawn Watson to pass the ball a lot. It would be nice to see Clemson put together a full game because they're really fun to watch when they do that. I'd also point out that at 10 o'clock, you have the bottom. Like, do you want to know what the bottom is for Stanford? It's not losing to Colorado. Nope. It would be losing to Arizona.

Because Colorado is a story now. Now they're good. You know what Arizona is? They're bad. they're bad yeah they're bad yes it's a bad football team Stanford and I have I have to I have to accept that yeah yep yep a tree a tree goes through every season it loses its leaves it appears to be dead and then after a long dormant period comes back to life right now the leaves are on the ground for you sir I I do want to go back to I want to use this we have a thing we're going to publish on every day should be Saturday about coach names um going back

to Oregon. Do either of you know what Mark Helferich's middle name is? Let me see. It's got to sound like a folk singer. I was going to guess, let's see, Erickson? It's August.

As in the month when everything's fine and you haven't lost all these fucking conference games. I was going to guess, Coker? Chiswick? Mark Krum Helferich? That doesn't seem right. Yeah, this seems weird. I just came coming up with all of these names that seem like an interim or middle name that just stayed on too long. How does that work?