Shutdown Fullcast - Shutdown Fullcast 4.5.0

Episode Date: March 2, 2016

FULLCAST BACK. Not with anything new to discuss, because this is March and there is no football going on, but rather with the following: --A discussion of college football's loneliest orphan program, and why it gets invited to all the best parties anyway --The obvious transition into rearranging conferences to include their proper members, including bringing Nebraska home to the Big 12, putting Iowa State in the Sun Belt where it can compete, and putting West Virginia and Clemson in the SEC where they belong. --The unholy realization that someone, somewhere out in the multiverse might have a split UCF/Ohio State jersey --Reader questions, including a realization that Rutgers is Greece --The awarding of imaginary lifetime achievement Oscars to Frank Beamer for his performance in "Virginia Tech Football: 1987--2015" --The introduction of Notre Dame into "THE SOCIEDAD DEL SOL" Learn more about your ad choices. Visit megaphone.fm/adchoices Learn more about your ad choices. Visit podcastchoices.com/adchoices

Welcome to the shutdown fullcast. I am Spencer Hall, editor of EDSBS, and editorial director at SB Nation. This is a college football podcast, but we got one problem. We've got two guys with me here, and we don't have any college football to discuss. The first person who's definitely not going to discuss college football with me tonight is Jason Kirk. How y'all doing? Yeah, it's our college football editor right there. So there's no college football going on at your house, right?

Let me take a quick look around. I'm in the state of Georgia, so no, no, no college football is being accomplished in the state of Georgia. It's true. Brian Nanny, joining us from Brooklyn, New York. It's no college football there, right? Pete Limbo! Pete Limbo! I made a promise on podcast ain't played nobody that I would yell Pete Lumbo.

So I just wanted to get out of the way early, so I wouldn't forget. Bill, Godfrey, you're welcome. I'm a man of my word. You can tell that there's no college football, though, because that means that on their podcast, which is serious and insightful and suggests, and, you know, implies actual knowledge of events. We talked about Pete Lombo, Purdue, Virginia,

and Skip Holtz. So you had me tell Virginia, because I feel like they talk about Pete Limbo every week on that program. Yes, somebody wrote in and wanted to talk about Virginia. and Bronco Menon Hall. And we had a whole separate thing about if it's sadder, if it was sadder to be a Wake Forest fan or a Purdue fan. It got weird.

Good God Almighty. Oh, but we did talk about one piece of news, which we can talk about here too. Double dipping. And that would be, oh, Idaho. Oh, no. Oh, Idaho. Yeah.

Why don't you bring us up to speed on Idaho's plight? By the way, in case you don't know, dear listener, Idaho is an FBS football program. are they are they and they are this is this is the same Idaho team that Florida was supposed to play but dodged by summoning the power of weather this is the same Idaho team that I know has a game scheduled with uh I want to say yeah it is Missou coming up and they have they're they're pretty good fodder for hey I want to I want to schedule an FBS team because people yell at me and call me stupid when I schedule FCS teams but I don't want it to

be a team that might beat me. Like, they've got, they play LSU in 2020. They play Penn State in 2019. Wow, this, this team with such a stellar list of invites must be among college football's most quality choices. Well, for a specific task. Unfortunately, Idaho is only going to have that illustrious FBS membership for another two seasons.

Their current, their current agreement with the Sunbelt, the choosiest, of conferences. Only goes through 2017, and both they and New Mexico State have been told, thank you. We will no longer be needing your services. Hang on a second. Hang on a second. The Sun Belt. Isn't that the junior SEC, the one that's in throughout the southeast and whatnot?

What's Idaho doing there? That's weird. I mean, there is nothing more southern than just saying certain members of your family are no longer welcome. well i can give you the entirety of uh that that that application okay which is this um so this is the sunbelt right yeah right right no i agree with that okay no no no no no no no no controversial statements so far follow me down this brimbrose path okay um this is in the state of idaho idaho which contains a a ski resort that is named Sun Valley and that's why they're in the Sun Belt.

Gotcha. Sure. Okay. I mean, I don't see how New Mexico State falls in. Yeah, well, they got sun. No, chun's the sun. Good Lord, they got sun. So as long as you are on a part of it,

as long as you're not a university in Alaska that is only open during that time period where there is no sunlight, you are eligible for Sunbelt membership. Right, as long as you're not in that. That one vampire movie. Sorry Dracula Tech. Dracula Tech and basically most places in the Big Ten are ineligible for the Sunbelt.

Otherwise, they're good. Marianus A&M, shut out again. Dang it. Them in BYU. Scotland, University of Edinburgh, you're out. It's a stuck in independent land. Yeah, it is an illustrious list of former members. of the, I think the, I think we are approaching, oh no, we're past the point where there are more

former members of, uh, the Sun Belt than there are current. So that's pretty fun. Yeah. And there's this too that of all of the conferences, right, the Sunbelt is the one where you end up, right? Like you, we don't say somebody ended up at the SEC, right? Like, oh, they just fell into the SEC or they fell into the Big Ten, right? You know, Maryland. might come close with the Big Ten, right? I think they just woke up with the Big Ten one day and they're like, oh, we live together now. What is the highest profile program

that you think you could convince most casual average college football fans was in the Sunbelt at one point? Do you think you could go as high as Auburn? No, no. That's a little too high. Okay, so we're going to dial it down. What if I told you that Houston

was in the Sunbelt at one point? I think most people would believe that if you conveyed conviction. If I told you that Baylor was in the Sunbelt at one point. Yeah, I would buy that. Yeah, just like if you're just coming into the sport and you just kind of drop like a casual like, oh, Baylor at one point was in the Sunbelt. I bet like an easy 60% of people would go like,

yeah, I don't really remember that, but sure, sure. I think if you're like, yeah, Baylor was actually, they weren't very good in the Sunbelt. people would say, oh, yeah, I remember Baylor being bad. It must have been in the sunbelt. I bet you could throw NC State in the sunbelt and say, yeah, it was, oh, so long ago, but it's true. It happens. Yeah, I think the thing with Auburn is if you sort of try to make it sound like the sunbelt's been around for 80 years.

You could maybe convince somebody that Arkansas was in the sunbelt for a year for purposes of, like, dodging attacks that they owed or something. For, like, discipline purposes. Right, right. They had to go stand in the corner. Yeah, like, they were like, well, you only said we pay this penalty if we leave for the SEC, so we're just going to go hang out in the Sunbelt for a year. So it's like some sort of offshore tax dodge. Yeah, yeah, and that's what the Sun Belt is, and Idaho's cops.

Hey, man, it's the Fun Belt. I'm just going to start telling people that, like, at one point, Harvard. was in the sunbelt and just see who calls me on it. Northwestern won the Sunbelt two years in a row. People don't know that. Illuminating minds, Northwestern in the Sunbelt, letting its glorious light of its minds shine. I definitely think you could use a non-American university

and say that they were in the Sunbelt. There ain't no non-American universities. What you're talking about? Yeah, did you? There ain't none of those. Do you know the Food and University is in the Sunbelt? Yeah. Three years. It was a weird three years.

Okay. I just, you know, I think you could, I think you could try it. Be like, yeah. See you at Hora's tech. That's a real. The other one I was going to go for that just seems, I don't know, sunbelty. Like, we just put them in the sunbelt. Sure, let's see how they hang. I thought maybe if I told someone Iowa State was in the sunbelt. Wow. Yeah. Maybe they'll bite. You could, there are people you could say, you could tell them today that Iowa

state is in the sunbelt and they're like yeah i think that's right that really wouldn't change anything i think they just i think they just can't you know get it going there but if they can't get they might get the big 12 invite big 12's looking to expand so iowa state seems like a natural fit big 12's looking to lock down iowa i think that that that's the rumor i'm going to go with last year it was that or not rumor but falsehood last year it was that auburn's and a cc team this year it's going to be that iowa state is the cream of the sunbelt just hoping for for a major conference to invite. I think that's a little aggressive

because people will think, people will think, I swear I'd remember Iowa State winning a conference. So I think we go like second tier sunbelt power. Okay. Okay.

I wanted to just, this is like the most anyone's talked about the sunbelt since, I don't know, maybe Bill and Stevens podcast. Yeah. Where do we sort of look and go, this is clearly a team

in the wrong place? like when you look at conferences and you go okay this is just not right this team clearly belongs in conference x like my classic has always been Clemson and the SEC like that's Clemson's an SEC team right they just live in the ACC because they don't get along with Uncle Carl or whatever right that's my classic example of a team that is not in the correct conference so who are you booting to bring in Clemson I am going to boot out I mean I'm going to boot bandy we don't we don't need you Yeah, we don't need any learning. Sorry. Yeah, this war game scenario, I feel like it's been on the table for about 100 years. Whenever it happens, that's really going to fix things. Vandy's basically just a service academy for plastic surgeons anyway, so. It's true, you brave plastic surgeons, you.

What about a mulligan on the last realignment move and doing the one that sort of looked like it was happening for a while but didn't? West Virginia instead of Missou? Yeah, I mean, that just by spirit has always seemed like the correct move, right? Like, they belong in the SEC. Yeah. If you've been to a game there, like, the only real difference is that, like, West Virginia is kind of mean. Like, I don't know if there's any place in the SEC where I go, oh, man, those people are just snake mean. Like, just mean.

Yeah, I mean, they're the ones that if you brought them into an SEC division and said, oh, hey, you all have to play them every year. and every other year, you have to go play them on the road. Like, if you did that in the SEC East, there are plenty of Georgia, Tennessee, Florida, whoever, they'll just be like, no, we're not. I'm sorry. I'm not doing that. I got kids. I got kids. I left that life behind.

West Virginia. I'm trying to stay right with God. The state that never leaves that life behind. No, never. It could be like a 15, like, somebody with like $15 million in the bank, right? West Virginia, the state that's about that life. Yeah, it's just somebody who had a successful plumbing business, and like a friend would come to them and go, man,

hey, listen, I need to stay at your house for a couple days. You know, just lay low. They'd probably be like, yeah, come on. We got it. If we're going to keep rating the ACC, I would kind of like to just throw Duke into the Big Ten at this point. Mm. It's like Purdue with the, it's like double Purdue.

Sort of. It's like Purdue with a lawn service. I mean, not as of late. But remember that at one point Duke football was so bad for so long that really they were pretty much on, they were sub-Purdue in terms of total performance for quite a while. I would also, in all honesty, I would be doing this in part to see the Big Ten scramble to claim all of Duke's basketball accomplishments.

Oh, it would take three seconds. It would be glorious. Leaders and legends Like Mike Chishefsky Big Ten's active leader And wins They'd talk like that too Right

They would be like more championships More delicious Delicious More conference titles Never mind what conference How did your teams When seven conference championships In 2006 or whatever

We were very competitive We were aggressive. Our student-athlete warrior poets were able to devise many, many time-traveling solutions that year with their academic brains. We will play anyone anywhere. Wormhole champions. Can we kick Indiana to the ACC? I think that's fine. Because their brand of football madness does not fit their conference.

And they have a basketball team. That's true. The SEC likes those. Yeah, that's true. I would do this, too, with Indiana. Don't put them in the SEC East because they'd win every year. Oh, yeah, you got to keep them out of there. Got to keep them out.

It's like having a raccoon in your attic. It's just going to fuck everything up. Seriously, Indiana is like the cane toad, right? In its own native environment, it has a natural series of checks and balances that keep it on the bottom of the food chain. But when you introduce it into an exotic ecosystem like the SECE, it takes over. This is an apex predator of the SEC East. It has all the, like in a role-playing game, everything's got a weakness. Yeah.

And the SEC East just all the way down the line, it's Indiana. It's just Indiana. I would like to, I think Hawaii, I think this is a mutually beneficial arrangement. Hawaii has not earned a bump up to the Pac-12, but God knows they need the money. And think about how happy so many Pac-12 coaches would be to be like, yeah, I get an by week, we go, we go play Hawaii. It's great. And they don't care either. That's why

Pac-12 coaches are cool. You did an SEC thing like, oh, you guys get to play Hawaii. SEC coaches go, we're all, taking seven hours away from my recruiting. I don't know what I'm going to do. Just God, I'm going to lose, because Sabin will have those seven hours, because he's not going to Hawaii. Because he's, yeah, he'll send Mike Loxley to coach

the Hawaii game. Yeah, he'll just delegate. Although I will say, if Alabama ever had a bad year and had to play in the Hawaii Bowl, I do think they would skip it for that reason. Either that or they'd just take it the fuck over. How did they get 80,000 fans

at the Hawaii Bowl? Answer? Swimmies. Floating. That's how we did it. The other thing about Hawaii to the Pact 12 is that sort of fulfills the Larry Scott dream of eventually having a football program in China in Japan.

Oh man. Larry Scott will be so happy when there is a football program that nobody watches somewhere in the far east. Cal just hired a kaiju. The kaiju has no defenses. Oh no! No!

In true cow fashion. There are some schools... Now, is there any school out of, when you look at the current Pact 12, there's any school out of the Pact 12, I mean, I think there's one that's obvious. But like, any school in the Pact 12 that's just, you could sort of go, yeah, you don't belong there.

We should put you somewhere else. uh should we kick arizona state over to the big 12 they're pretty close and they're pretty wild uh they're i mean they're they're extremely not chill um i feel like the rest of the pack 12 brand is chill except for like utah yeah i mean i feel maybe arizona state and utah to the big 12 this is all i could see this is not so much a uh a they fit better somewhere else but i would like just for the sheer fuck you of it uh if you

USC just said now we're independent now we don't need you bye charter member of the pack eight we play Notre Dame three times the year we beat them every time the pack the pack one the pack

yeah they just found the pack one we're just the pack champions bro the pack check out the pack they swindle fox out of some insane television sale right yeah we pay 50 million dollars a year a year

We only get four games We only get four games Petros gets to call them all Oh God All everybody He gets to call them all from Oh no their studios in L.A That's right

It's perfect Fox could actually cover the USC network Got to pay that gas though Oh shit Gas is cheap right now It's fine You can bicycle Listen they don't call it public transit

Because it's exclusive Everyone can write it I change my name to Tesla Papadoccus. That's a zero impact broadcast. I can't even do a Petros because I can't. No, you'll hurt yourself. I can't yell loud enough in this house right now. Well, that and I think you'll hurt your throat.

Oh, man. His vocal cords must just, wow. It's got to be like the bones of a whale. Who's the quietest fox announcer between him, Harrington, Gus? It's Bruce. Well, he's not an announcer, but he's sideline. It's Bruce. Yeah, he's on TV.

Yeah, he speaks at a reasonable volume. But everybody else there is just like, no one can hear us. I don't even think Bruce Feldman can yell. I think he just sort of like starts talking more sort of like questioningly. That's how he yells at you. It's actually very disconcerting. Yeah, it's like, it's just, it just kind of goes up a little bit. I just think you should put the gun down.

Just chill, that reactor. It'll take care of itself. Just back away from it, international terrorists. Man, Bruce Feldman would be a really good negotiator, like hostage negotiator. Well, I think because the first thing is like instead of, you know, hey, what can we get you guys? Are you hungry or anything? You know, the negotiator opening line. It's, it just starts off with like the, you know, a subtle way of saying, you terrorists are looking fat today.

Yeah. I mean, you're terrorists. It looks like you have an exercise. Dude, do you need food? I mean, I don't think you need food. You don't look like you're looking at you. Yeah, I'm just guessing. You look like you're doing pretty good there.

Are those terrorism pants from like a couple years ago or? Yeah. That's us reminding you that Bruce Feldman, one of college football's finest writers, has a thing where he just insult you, like, the first three seconds upon seeing you. You're like, hey, how you doing? It's good. It's good. But, you know, you know, it's like, you know, it's like, you know,

You know, Steve McNair used to say he had to take a hit before he was really in the game. You know, some quarterbacks say that. Andrew Luck says that. You know, I'm, by the way in a conversation. And Bruce is all too happy to just, you know, sack you once, get you into the game so you can start, you know, slinging that bean. The other team in the Pac-12, by the way, that I just don't, like, I could just put them in any number of places, and I don't know how successful they'd be is Colorado. Because, yeah, I think they fit the conference. I don't think they fit in terms of performance.

No. They are unstuck from time. They'll fit wherever you want to drag them. Mountain West? Can I just put them in the Mountain West? They'd do fine. They'd do better. I mean, everyone has a friend who's gone out to Colorado to be a ski bum for a year or two, and you just never heard from them again. It's fine. It's just sort of like a Bermuda triangle of relaxation. God bless him. My brother moved out there.

Honestly, I think it's been like a year since I've talked to him. See? and like it's not a bad thing you're just like oh he's in college like wow man it's been a year since you've talked to your brother and I'm like he's in Colorado yeah it's like you

you sort of know how he's doing it doesn't matter who you are like I don't think it's Mike McIntyre's fault I think you just move to Boulder and you're like there are so many bigger things than football man what are you going to do I'm just gonna trail run for like 20 years

I'm just gonna vision quest this year yeah what are you doing I work at a coffee shop and then in the sand paint. That's what I do. I make my own jewelry. Do you sell it? Nah. Nah. Just make it. It's the making that really is the pleasurable part.

Driving between Boulder and Nesta's part, I saw a man who had a buffalo in his front yard for a pet. That to me will always be the state of Colorado because there was a man who decided to have a buffalo in his front yard. Not the back, not in a pen, not in a separate enclosure. No, he just had a buffalo. In some ways, I'm his pet. He teaches me things

Every day, man Just about life It's more of a partnership Yeah, they need to be in the Mountain West Because they're all packed They're all Pack 12 Attitude And they're all Mountain West production And not the top of the Mountain West either

And then we can swap Can we swap in Boise State then? I feel like that's fine Give them a run Yeah, why not Let's see It's a little bit on old Old accomplishments

But whatever Well, let's see Looking at the Mountain West roster. Hmm. Well, what if you just sort of picked a team that's going to fill the Colorado role, but at least try harder at it? What if you just sub in Wyoming? No, no, no.

I'll give you a try harder. I'm going to swap in Colorado State. Colorado State, because they'll try a little bit harder. Yeah, they'll in depth the university for generations to put in the stadium. Then, and then it's a possibility that in 2018, if Colorado State has a good year, and Georgia doesn't, people will say, well, Mike Bobo knew what was coming. Yeah. He got out while the getting was good. He took all the wins with him.

Hey, how many SEC titles has Georgia won since Mike Bobo left? That's a really good point. Not very many. Not very many. Yeah. Now, don't ask how many he'd won while he was there. Just stop. That's living in the past.

Let's live it in the past. We're talking about now. Nebraska. They got it. Just send them back. Just send them back. Right back where they came from. Because I feel like to the end of the Pellini era, it was like, wow, they're making an SEC case here.

They're about to fire this asshole for winning nine games a year. Under the new regime, it seems like more of an ACC fit, because it's all just about warm smiles and friendship. They could go back. I mean, they don't fit where they are. I think we all agree on that. No. Yeah, and I can't even really sort of verbalize why. I can't.

Just send them back. Just send them back. It's probably because they don't have AAU membership. I'm sure it's that. I'm sure it has something to do with their academics, not measuring up to a conference that presents you with the prestige. The prestige of such universities as Maryland. The University of Illinois. Minnesota.

The lofty. admission standards at a place like Iowa. I think Iowa's admission standards are like just above Arkansas's in terms of total percentage of... They got to bring home, Bert. That right there, they got to bring home, Bert. It's right there. You want the talent.

You get closer to the corn. That's it. The corn just sheds talent to the bloodstream. So, yeah. You send Nebraska back home, because I feel like the only Nebraska game, I feel like I'd care to watch right now would be Nebraska, Oklahoma, just because. I don't know. Things, they were cool when you were a little kid are cool sometimes.

I mean, I made another full house show, so maybe that'd be, I don't know. Who are we sending back? Who is the Big Ten getting in exchange? Back toward the Big Ten. Yeah. From the Big 12, so pulling off a trade. Well, Iowa seems like, or no, I'm sorry, from the Big 12. I think you said half of it.

Let's give them Texas. Iowa State's jumping all the way up from the Sunbelt. Yeah, I forgot. We banished them to the sunbelt. It's already gone. They were the first piece off the board, as always. I'm kind of on board with Texas having a very short and spectacular marriage, failed marriage with the Big Ten. You know, something out of like Chip Brown's wet dreams, right, from the heyday of realignment. Let's just go ahead and give Texas to the Big Ten and see how that rolls.

Oh, I know who the Big Ten can get in exchange. It's not from the Big 12th. Boston College Okay I think that's a good one because it gets an important footprint in the massive 6 million people

in the whole state area of Massachusetts So Or since the Big Ten's brand Is just a large state institutions Do we go Yukon instead? Yukon's good? No

If you really want to go You know what If the Big Ten wants to be all about Hey we can have our we can have our spring practices wherever we want we can go into florida give them ucf give them f iu you can get f iu and f a uf that's right that's right oh man and the big old bag of crazy you're getting with either ucf or f iu give them all the florida alphabeticals the important thing is that we don't give them cincinnati because cincinnati can't have nice things i would really lean toward giving them by the way UCF because

half of ohio lives there anyway oh it'd be perfect Also, it would create the house-divided license plate and jersey of UCF, Ohio State, which is one of the most horrendous items in the universe. Like, when you make a list of, like, horrendous things, the inside of a cat's ear. One, two, the house-divided jersey of someone whose loyalties are split between UCF and Ohio State. And it's not an accident that you said Jersey. This isn't sure. This isn't license plate.

This is Jersey. The home that belongs to that house divided jersey is banned from both Universal Studios and Kings Island. They just don't know how to party. UCF would immediately be the biggest university in the Big Ten, would it not? I think so. UCF's huge. Yeah, boy, that would really up the academic prestige, all those students, all those hard-studying students. Sure.

And that stadium. That's adding to the grandeur. UCF has an enrollment of 60,000. 60,000. So I don't know where that puts them close to Ohio State numbers, maybe. This is perfect. And then we have Big Ten graduate Dante Colpepper. Big Ten legend.

Ohio State's enrollment is 64,868. Blake Bortles is just right up there. Blake Bortles is a name just begging to be said by a Big Ten. Well, you know, George O'Leary did The Big Ten. That's true. That's not even a Big Ten Legends joke. He actually has it on his resume. Yeah. He probably does. What doesn't

George O'Leary have on his resume? If you can look around long enough, you'll find anything. There's like a word search. There's a coupon on here. Yeah, that's good at Sizzler. There's a maze, and if George O'Leary completes it, he gets the Jets job.

Yeah, a couple of wacky kids things. like, hey, that truck has three tires, not four. Wow. Spot the differences. Spot the differences. Hey, we meet Baylor. Now we're ho in 12. What changed? I want us to, do we have any questions of note this week?

I think we should probably do a couple of those. You know, this is, we're getting back into the swing of things. Well, I believe, I believe Ryan requested that all ads go to him so he can distribute questions this week. All right, we'll start with this one from Justin Killa. Which

country is the Rutgers of countries? Okay, so let's lay out our parameters before we make a prescription here. So this would be a country that formed, it was part of some sort of alliance or pact, maybe the European Union, something of that ilk, which at the time,

seemed like it was a smart long-term decision, but in reality has just bogged that association down in such a way that everyone wishes they could just undo it. And corrupt? Corrupt? Corrupt, but not in an organized way. More in a just like disturbing

lack of oversight way. And maybe it has a long, long ago, it had a glorious history. Of course, no, Rutgers was part of founding the game of football, you know, and and there's a certain nation bogging down the EU that, you know, took over most of the world at one point. You know, I think we're all reaching the same conclusion here.

That's right. Prance. Fuck you, France. Fuck you, France. I mean, it also fits because, you know, everybody knows that Ruckers is the number one place you want to take a scenic cruise. Exactly. Yeah, we honeymooned at Ruckers. The islands of Rutgers.

The magnificent islands. And I imagine, you know, people break plates festively. Cigarettecoes. So, yeah, I think we're in agreement. It's Greece. Congratulations. Rutgers is totally Greece. Good job, Big Ten.

Way to go. You're financing Greece. Oh, just fired their finance minister? Has Greece had any espionizing? scandals recently? Because Rutgers has. I'm sure we can dig up a few. Does Greece have public officials

like publicly abusing employees? Because Rutgers has. I don't know. I think Greece doesn't go far enough. I was going to say, maybe we need to keep digging sun. Sorry, Greece. Seby game of Greece. I think

I have one here. I think. Which let's see if you have another one I'm trying to find this one okay we can I'm just pulling these randomly so too bad

this is from Tito Benack I hope I got that right if it's college football with Star Wars which coach is Jar Jar Binks so that's a so that's one that everyone behind the scenes assumed would be popular who bombed immediately

right yeah who possibly erudons possibly felt a little racist or insensitive was far more annoying than he was contributing to anything. Yeah.

And many just wished out right for his, not only were happy to see him gone, many people wanted future editions of college football and or Star Wars to reference his death.

Hmm. I don't know if Charlie Weiss is racist, but Charlie Weiss, certainly. I mean, the differences Charlie Weiss did come in with a veneer of competence, I guess, respectability. Yeah. So that's the one snag there. Oh, oh, wait, no, hang on. Go ahead.

We've all seen the Jar Jar Binks conspiracy theory, right? Yes. That Jar Jar is a Sith Lord and Lucas just bailed on, didn't have the balls to follow through. Well, that would mean He was closely connected with Palpatine And the football Palpatine, of course, is Bill Belichick From which Charlie Weiss sprang That's fair

That's an interesting comparison I have mine Okay It's from B Shelly 24 on Twitter What Pastimes will replace football for LSU fans next fall Okay The scenario we discussed, I believe, on the last podcast was that LSU might actually lose football

over the budget shortfall that Louisiana will inevitably collide with like tomorrow. So this might be a real thing and who knows what in the hell that will actually look like if it happens but it means that a bunch of LSU fans will need to do other things.

I know one thing. The wildlife population will plummet. deer, gators Nutria Anything you can trap People Maybe It's omelette and eggs

Man Omelette eggs That's true Cars Cars I got one dad Blam blam Now you're a man boy

A couple of random oil tankers Just disappear in Gluck gluck Look down it goes You said I couldn't And I did with a bow A bow A bow fished an oil

oil tanker take that BP Les Miles get down Get down the bow Les This is hubris The gods will punish us Yeah that's Hunting

Like that's what That's what they'll do You know Like I know what LSU fans do And like they're some of the Huntingest The huntinous fans period That they'll cook

They'll The saints are going to receive Some extremely intense and maybe misdirected scrutiny, even beyond that which they receive now. Saints got a fire less miles. Also, you don't know this. Louisiana, everybody will pick up their second team because a lot of people have their first division and second division team, so they're a lot of LSU fans, but they also

have like affinities and ties with Louisiana Lafayette or Louisiana Monroe or even too late, not too late. Well, the thing about that is all those public schools would also, they'd go down as well. so wouldn't Tulane be the only show in town? Oh my goodness. Is this how Tulane gets back in the SEC? So you're saying all the top tier athletes at these schools currently transfer to Tulane and Tulane gets in the college football playoff next year.

Yep. So we're talking about LSU's entire roster plus like one dude from LaTec. And then Tulane parlays that into Big 12 membership. Wow. Wow. Wow. that's amazing and then immediately drops out three years from now right we're bored booted out we just wanted to see if we could do it we're just gonna we're just gonna end

athletics we don't feel like playing do paying dues anymore we'll go back to our major of wealthy alcoholism um i also feel like uh the lSU downturn we're gonna see master p is gonna mastermind the first every like octuple CD rap album just like a rap album you can put in front of a door and keep it open? Yeah, he's still selling it on CD, right? Oh, yeah. Oh, yeah. I mean, like, Jay-Z starts up title,

that does not affect Masterpiece Business Model at all. No. Title, yeah, it's got a title. It's called No Limit Volume 27. Oh, several people do want to know what you guys think about, the Oscars and, you know, the bear movie. It's not very good. Okay.

And I know that's the review, but... No, no, we've discussed this. I did not watch the Oscars, by the way. I decided to sleep because I knew it was going to happen, and I've seen that movie. I laughed at that movie, because it is hilarious. Did you watch it, Ryan? I did, but that was only because I was on the West Coast at the time. And so I was like, okay, it's over at 9.

This is great. I'll go out to brunch after. This is perfect. I'll go to Home Depot. This is, oh, this is Faye. That's so much to get done. I got a whole life ahead. I'll get a second bachelor's degree.

Whatever. I got all the time now. California. Everything's perfect here. Anyway, time to go back to New York City. Anyway, now where I live. I do wish that college football had. I like the thing the Oscars do

where you give somebody an award, not necessarily because of their performance, that year, but you're just because, like, man, you've been plugging away at this, and we probably screwed you in a previous year and didn't realize it. So, yeah, it's your turn. Here, come getting it. That's why Bill Murray is going to get an Oscar for Garfield three in like eight years. Michael Keaton loses again. Again. Best picture, whatever Michael Keaton was in. No, Garfield three was snubbed. It pulls off his face. Michael Keaton is Garfield. field oh my god that's a pretty good choice i would um yeah i do like that too that in college

football like if i could give that award to somebody in college football for somebody who's just been slaving away in the shadows working hard you know and occasionally in great indignity like i'd give one for paul rhodes be like man you tried so hard at iowa state you tried so hard beloved character actor Paul Rhodes. That's what Paul Rhodes is. You know? Or like you can give that to players too. You know, like players who just, you go, man, you are never ever going to be on a good team.

Ever. You were just going to be doomed. You're going to be on, like the Nick Foles Award where you just go, yeah, man. They scored 45 and you scored 42 every week. You can give it to a whole program. You can just be like, man, Virginia Tech still hasn't won an Oscar. We got to throw him one, guys. Legendary composer with 68 film credits,

Dak Prescott. I'm going to feel like a dick if Virginia Tech dies and we never got him an Oscar. Man, I'd give Frank Bieber one so quick. So quick. Was he even in a movie? It doesn't matter. Doesn't matter. So what's the program that gets snubbed in the memorial montage?

The one that dies and we just sort of forget. Oh, Idaho. Oh, we'll go full circle. I think you want a higher profile one. I think you want one that maybe pissed everyone off. Oh, so Notre Dame. Never heard of them. Remember, they're not part of the association, right?

They don't join conferences or guilds. Yeah, they're like a TV. Yeah, I guess people thought Notre Dame was more of a musician than an actor, I guess. Notre Dame is a book, right? It hasn't been adapted to film. Yeah, you could get Notre Dame to join a conference if you called it something like a guild, right? Like, you should join this conference and they're like, no, and I'll be like, no, no, no, I'm sorry. What if I told you?

What if it's a conclave? It's a society of St. Hubertus. What? It's a Coven. It's an exclusive society for only the most luxurious football programs. And they'd be like, oh, oh, and you can use the Harvard Club every other weekend. Oh, my goodness. And that's how we get them in the Sun.

I'm sorry, the Sociedad del Sol.