Shutdown Fullcast - Shutdown Fullcast 4.51: Ass Week Begins, Now With Extra Ass

Episode Date: November 10, 2016

The ass-ingest week of the college football season is here, and we are here to do two things: kick said ass, and chew bubble gum. And we are all out of bubble gum. Because we ate it. Because bubble gum is delicious, and something that tastes that good shouldn't be something you aren't supposed to eat. Topics of interest for week eleven: --We're going to talk about football, because that's our job! Nothing else. At least, not much of anything else before we go about our business. --It's a less-than-luminous week on the slate, but USC/Washington is happening. Do you call all USC quarterbacks "Matt" by default? Spencer does, and it makes so much sense when you start remembering that everyone who has ever played QB for the Trojans is actually a secret Matt. --How Washington coach Chris Petersen's greatest asset as a coach is calling an offensive game like a complete dick. (He's fine, personally! But calling plays like he does? Total dick, which is what you want when you --Hey listen Will Muschamp has had success with a young QB before, it's just not fun to remember when you're yelling about "LOL MUSCHAMP." Oh, and a reminder that there is the real possibility that a kid who could be playing his senior season in high school might have to face Alabama in the SEC Championship Game! That should probably be illegal! --Arkansas also plays LSU in the week's only other matchup of ranked teams. One is ranked #24 and one is ranked #25 but that still technically means ranked in the weakest possible definition of ranked. --A proposal for Oregon to hire Hugh Freeze, the man least personally compatible with living in Eugene, Oregon and working for Phil Knight --SOMETHING'S GOT TO GIVE BECAUSE O-5 IN BIG TEN PLAY MICHIGAN STATE PLAYS 0-5 RUTGERS LET'S KICK THIS SHIT OFF AT NINE A.M. AND SEE HOW SOON WE CAN GET IT OVER WITH --Notre Dame is playing Army in San Antonio, for some reason? --Let Jason do his best Dana Holgorsen impression, which he describes as "drunk Shawn Michaels." A meal eaten at 1 a.m. still counts as breakfast. --Washington/Cal is happening again so be prepared for seven hours of something sort of resembling football that will end in tears Learn more about your ad choices. Visit megaphone.fm/adchoices Learn more about your ad choices. Visit podcastchoices.com/adchoices

Welcome to the shutdown fullcast. I am Spencer Hall, editorial director at Every Day, should be Saturday, and also SB Nation-type, joining me, as he always does, from beautiful Kennesaw, Georgia. Oh, oh, hello, Jason Kirk. Hey, what's up from Cobb County, you goddamn right. That's right. Cobb County, Progressive-minded Cobb County. Remember, all politics are local. And that'll really help if you live in a place that voted the way you wanted it to this Tuesday.

We're going to attempt, though, to discuss football because we would like to just keep it that way. This is kind of an assy week. Let's be very brusque and up front with you, because we don't lie to you here at the full cast. Jason, it's not the most compelling week of football going into. Is this week 11? Yeah, yeah, we have advanced all the way to week 11. Week 11 is trash, week 10 was trash, week 12 is trash, week I think like seven and two and three were all trash. It's been a season largely composed of garbage because it's in the year 2016.

And the hope is, of course, that this builds to a really great playoff because if, you know, four or five, six teams soaking up all the wins, then we start off 2016, you know, with a nice, with a nice, high stakes playoff, lots and lots of unbeaten and one-lossed teams in the playoff. So let's just endure weeks such as week 11 and just lay up treasures for the future. That's true. In addition to this, as always, this is a week where there may be random games of interest. There may be the occasional upset. We usually sleep on these. There are a couple of ranked teams actually playing ranked teams and or teams that I would

assume are a theoretical threat to them. You might as well lead. The Game Day game of the week is USC at Washington. It is 7.30 Eastern. It is on Fox. I assume you get the Gus Bus calling this game where every play gets suddenly dramatic. Yeah, if we don't, there's been a problem. Maybe they accidentally rerouted him to like wherever Texas is playing or something.

He's like Texas is like embedded reporter at this point or something like. that is I was going to say is Gus the closer the opposite of Mac Brown like he slides into the broadcast once the game hits three or four hours they sub in Gus it's Gus time we've entered the Gus zone he's like your two he's he's basically you're like

multi ball multi ball with Gus Johnson Gus rules are now in effect did he do any research for this game we didn't let him we prefer we prefer him coming in cold coming in cold so he can

heat it up but uh yeah i mean this should be washington USC should be good we know washington's good uh USC has gotten good um and this is sort of the really only the second or third chance at the year for washington to demonstrate that washington is good in a game people are watching and not just looking at the scoreboard later on and this is probably for a lot of people the second time they'll actually look at USC all year after averting their eyes beginning in the quarter against Alabama and either people will be pleasantly surprised or they'll just say this looks a lot like the team I saw against Alabama I don't know why you're showing me this again yeah which I don't think it will I and I just I and the reason the primary reason is the

emergence of Matt Darnold I mean he's he's just gotten so I'm sorry Sam Darnold yeah you gave him the the ultimate USC quarterback first name so you know Matt you know like Matt Sam David Booty Matt Booty Or yeah Matt Matt Liner Wait that's actually his name

You know Matt Carson Daley Palmer Palmer Booty Wow that's sexy Yeah that's Matt Carson Daily Palmer

Booty That's the ultimate USC quarterback Sam Darnold Sam How am I gonna know When I go see Nile Like I already have trouble

just remember hey Arnold and you can see that's your mnemonic device yeah Sam do you hear those cats by the way there's like a herd of rabid cats or something that's going around yeah it's scary times

man god damn people are excited about USC and so are the cats so the cats are amped man but if you by the way USC though like after an initial struggle okay and after a narrow victory in their last five games, they've gone over 40 points, four times. And they beat Colorado in the game where they didn't.

They won a really tight, mean game 21-17. But since that lost to Utah, man, poop, switch-dunk flipped. They've now admittedly, they've gone through a pretty soft patch in the schedule. That would be games against Arizona State. The aforementioned difficult Colorado game, Arizona, California, and Oregon. So defense, it would be fascinating to watch USC play a defense.

Yeah. And, I mean, this is probably the, is this the first game all year where Washington doesn't have, doesn't have the talent advantage? I guess you could argue Stanford, but Stanford is pretty young in some key positions. You know, this is the first game all year where we actually see if, superior development, superior coaching, probably still superior quarterbacking. I guess we'll find out, but we'll see if all that stuff amounts to, I guess, as big a difference as we think it will, you know, when we're seeing a really,

a really, really solid four-star roster against a often chaotic five-star roster. Yeah, the thing that Washington has had all year long, if you've watched them, is they are so composed, so... Normally when somebody says, well, coached, it just means, oh, look, everybody looks like they know what they're supposed to be doing. Everybody actually got the playbook this week. Oh, yeah, like, and knows it back to front, right? Took a peek at it.

Yeah. I always like watching Chris Peterson teams, because even, like, the routes they run and the things they do, you go, ooh, that's a dick move. That's a nasty. That's a bad thing to do, you bad football team. You're so mean. like what's their goal line routes their goal line routes are all these really hard like when they pass the ball they're all these really hard to defend like one to two move like oh god they're like master of the jerk route right they are if you're not familiar with the term jerk route or dick route is the name for i don't the wheel route if you can get a running back on a linebacker or if you can get a wide receiver on a on the slowest linebacker like that's that's what a jerk route is

is. The angle route is another dick route. God, angle route is like, yeah, the angle route if you don't know, you just sort of like go diagonal toward the sideline and then you cut back up. And it's just damn near impossible to defend. It's up there with like the wheel and the perfectly thrown

slant in terms of I hate you. Yeah, the slant. That's a top five dick route. The angle, like you send that H back, you sort of curl them around the line and free money. Yeah, it's up there with the tight end waggle. Oh, the tight-hand waggle.

God damn it. Michigan, like, lived off that for 15 years. I'm fond of reminding everybody that all Michigan did was like prior to Rich Rodriguez was, run, run, run, QB waggle. They could get a QB who had like a 6-240 and roll them out there, right? John Navarre thundering down toward the sideline, throwing the QB waggle to some, I don't know, 270-pound tighthander's belly was still full of pizza from the night before. like maximum michigan so yeah there there's a there's a run play

washington does that it has sort of the same sort of the same start to it we did a video on it a few weeks ago where it's basically just a just an inverted veer option but there's like a delay to it it's it almost looks like it almost looks like a rollout option with like like a like it's almost like a toss like it yeah yeah yeah it's just like the entire the entire pocket plus quarterback and running back just all move toward the sideline and then it's a short side option but there's this delay to it that makes it just really tricky to defend because the defense sort of has to just lay all its cards on the table but just lots of little stuff like that with any chris peterson team stress they're

very scressful they are they will stress your ass out they will um not to mention they have a very difficult combination of things, which is a quarterback who knows what he's doing and is very talented and can move more than a little bit. They have an excellent running back and they have two wide receivers. That's a lot and an offensive line that's clearing decks really well. So that's before you get to, you know, any further down on the depth chart? No, no, no. They've got a lot to put pressure on you across the board. And then on top of that, Chris Peterson's a dick. I mean, personally, he's probably fine. But when you coach against him, uh, the things he's, going to do he's a dick he's real mean be proud of yourselves washington fans you hired a coach

that everyone describes as a dick which is great a real a real quiet classy nice guy but such an asshole oh yeah just just yeah exactly like the dad you the dad you did not want to play in any board game at all even though he'd be so nice about it what else we're looking at you will you will be throwing this monopoly board um per the rankings the second biggest game of the week is the battle for the golden boot, which Brett Bieland was described earlier today as looking like a 1980s rapper necklace, which, yeah, yeah, I think so. Probably more like 1990s when Norland's rappers really took over, but... Well, how much ice is on it? Is it just solid gold? Because if it's just solid gold,

then we're talking like, yeah, you know, that could be like late 80s, but once you really start encrusting it in jewels, that's when you get into like some cash money territory. Yeah, I don't no gold came back though so maybe Bert is just maybe he's 30 years too early because like right now gold chains are pretty cool again. Yeah although I

have a personal favorite and that's young Dolph's dolphin if you haven't seen it it's like an extremely bling dolphin that he wears around his neck because he's young Dolph. I'll always favor Gucci's

Bart Simpson myself Because I don't, I don't quite understand it, which is, yes, perfect. Or T. Payne's big-ass chain, which is... It says big-ass chain. It's just, in gold, it says big-ass chain, and it is a deed, it is big, it's a big-ass chain. This is the second ranked game of the week, which is... And by second we mean only other. Yeah.

I think, I think, yes, yes. is in our in our confidence pick them pool this week just to give you a little taste dear listener of how bleak this weekend is we are picking two fcs games one of them an ivy league game out of our four picks half of our picks this week our fcs games um and yeah yeah by the way that ranked game that's a 24 v 25 so it is it is it is as far down as you could go to get a ranked game. It's like the honorary Minnesota invitational.

Like for two three years, the joke with Minnesota has been that they always rank 25 in the playoff rankings. Hey, they're 7 and 2. They'll be showing up any time now. They'll take over for the loser of this game, I guess. That's true. I think I have Arkansas in this game

strictly because, one, it is November. Mm-hmm. Right? In addition to that, it is also the game that would get both of them to three and three in the SEC. And that's what Brett B. is here to two.

It's here to even you up. It's not going to get too far up on you in the standings because it's the SEC West and he's at Arkansas. It's a very difficult place to be consistently good and to recruit the kind of people that you would need to compete with the Alabama's and LSUs of the world.

But no, low, it is November and he's going to give thanks by leveling you up. Leveling you to 500 in the SEC. Whoa, well, it's easy. Let's establish some balance here. Let's not get too off kilter. Yeah, here we go. straighting out these

standings a little bit. Half of it here, half of it there you go. Brett Bilema, the great balancer. He's the thing that brings balance to the force is Brett Bilema.

We got to hit him with a pun there. Let's see. With the Brett Bilema, Star Wars. Yeah, we're going to need a Brett Bilema a Jedi pun.

Oh, he's Hogg Mothma. Okay, few, okay. Yeah. man that one came out got that one off um i think i picked ls u partly continual wishful thinking that coacho can hang on to this job um we both picked lsu last week which didn't go all that well you laid 10 points on lsu and so did alabama uh yeah that's a massive 10 points you would assume that wouldn't be enough to win a game correction uh but yeah it i mean i guess the hope there is The post-Bama collapse won't strike the same way it did the last two or three years.

There's a new coach, I guess, is the only evidence I have to offer there. Yeah, that and this, that Leonard Fortinette has said that he is not fully healthy, correct, and for the rest of the season, which is a shame because even at half speed, he's going to be better than almost anyone that you're dealing with. But it's also a shame because Arkansas, contrary to what Florida did last week, Arkansas can't defend the run at all. Now, what did Florida run for? Like 20 yards, like 2 yards. Against Arkansas.

That's bad. That's very bad. It's extremely extreme. Arkansas gave up a school record number of rushing yards to Auburn just a couple weeks earlier. Yeah, like 547. Something like that. Yeah. Gave up.

I think Leonard Fournett can play a hopscotch to at least 125 yards if he's just got one leg. Yeah. And this has not been, by the way, the most, like the most, we assume, oh, man, it's just, it's going to be a barn burner. It's a golden boot. That's not really been a thing because the past couple of years, it's been Arkansas's game. Arkansas won at LSU last year, 3114. and they won the year before that in Arkansas, 17-0. So the days of, you know, Casey Dick pulling a victory out of nowhere.

Well, that's cool. This has actually been sort of leaning Arkansas's way. So, sure, I'm okay with just a blind pick of Arkansas, even with the full knowledge, that, I don't know. LSU's not Florida, right? Let me check, let me check. Can't confirm. can confirm.

I mean, I think you can make the case this is still a throw out the record books rivalry as much as it irks LSU fans do call it a rivalry because they don't have rivals. Them in Penn State, they really need to start a rivalry. We ought to pair these two up so they can finally have someone they can admit they hate. Let's see, LSU is ranked higher, so I guess that does mean in Arkansas win since you throw out the record books here. It's true. I do want to move just down a step to discuss. America's greatest

America's greatest four and five team. Down from the lowest ranked possible game. Oh, here we go. Yeah, man, we're going to step down to America's greatest

four and five team that that'd be the Old Miss Rebels. Man, I'm pointing this out because this game turned into a disaster super fast because Chad Kelly is out for the year for Old Miss.

He's gone. It's not good. It's really, really not good. But, lucky them, they're going to play a 7-2 Texas A&M team. And Jason, they have something in common with Ole Miss. They are also lacking their starting quarterback. And they'll be replacing him with Jake Hubernak, I believe, is his name.

And Ole Miss is either going with the five-star true freshman who they were trying to redshirt or, I don't know, maybe reconvert an offensive lineman or something. or whatever Old Miss does. Whatever personnel decisions Hugh Freeze makes, I'm sure they're the right ones, right? Yeah, it'll work great. It'll just work, just work great. It'll be fine. I mean, they're going to have a 27-point lead, and then they're going to lose.

Yeah, that's how this works, but that's fine. That's fine. Remember, this is all about getting Hugh Freeze to the drinking. job he's won it for so long Oregon. What better match of culture and person than Hugh Freeze meeting Oregon head on.

Hugh Freeze in the notorious Bible belt of the Pacific Northwest. He's finally home. I'd like to talk to you about Jesus. Whoa, buddy. Whoa. Whoa. Whoa. I'd like to talk to you about the man who changed

my life. Yeah, Phil Knight. We all know him already. Yeah, Phil Knight. Yeah. Yeah, was it Ben Giverd? Because, yeah, I mean, yeah, I was a big, you know, death cab guy in the, you know, back like, late 90s, early 2000s, yeah, man, let's talk about Ben Givert. He's super important. The other game of interest in the SEC, oh God, I don't even really, yeah, I have to, I have to say it. South Carolina is going to beat Florida.

I've just, that's interesting. It's South Carolina, which does also. have a path to the SEC East title. We've joked about Kentucky for like a month straight. And if Kentucky beats Tennessee, yep, it's in good shape. But South Carolina is right in there. Yeah.

They have really gotten way more out of freshman QB, Jake Bentley, than they could have possibly expected, especially because, you know, Will Must champion quarterbacks. Actually, let's go back. We'll must champion quarterbacks.

There was a time, if you'll remember, when on the Heisman watch list, we did have Jeff Driscoll after his first year as a starter. So that did happen. I want to point out that this is not totally out of bounds. I did also laugh that Jake Bentley's Alabama high school coach joked and said, oh, my message to him was all three of his wins were at home. He hasn't done anything yet. you ain't shit boy I love the high school coach

He was joking but still I like the high school coach Just you know Hey yeah you gotta keep him humble Whenever Whenever whenever you're You're supposed to be high school senior starter He's winning games in the SEC

She's got to knock them down a peg Yeah let's see how your pants are fitting Oh you're a little too big for him Okay Can you imagine Instead of instead of playing in like the state playoffs or whatever you got to play Alabama in the SEC championship like instead of playing against Paul took it high or whatever you're playing fucking Alabama please please don't do this almost champ don't don't make this kid do this I absolutely love that uh I absolutely love that this can happen to this reminds me of this attempted like an 18 year old right like this reminds me of those stories where like yeah my

grandfather lied to get into world war too and you know there he was he was 17 years old and he was steering a battleship is that responsible yeah sure so yeah yeah he was he was he was at the wheel of the battles there he was stabbing hitler i don't think hitler got stabbed my granddaddy at the age of nine killed a man and at the registration booth just to get into World War I. This picture of a nine-year-old smoking on the ruins of Nuremberg. Yeah. War is hell, boys, and so am I.

Yeah, that's where Jake Bentley is. Jake Bentley lied to get into the war, and now he's got to go to Stalinocrat. So enjoy it when you eventually get to the SEC championship game. Although we have been joking about Kentucky, crucial matchup for Kentucky this week. Oh, yeah. They get to play Tennessee.

You said they get to play Tennessee, which is probably the right way to put it. Yeah, no. They have to play Tennessee. It's a contractually obligated game. No, I think it's they get. They get to play Tennessee. Yeah, it's in me.

I mean, Kentucky is getting better by the month, I guess, would be fair to say. Tennessee is getting worse by the month, just in terms of injury, terms of cohesion and in lack of any clear development in key areas this is a very good time for Kentucky to two at play Tennessee you know and Tennessee's still got probably the pure advantage but if it's ever going to happen now's the time Kentucky last week ran the ball all over

all over the Georgia Bulldogs with one play they were running a wildcat in the year 2016 and they were running it like off i believe the right side and they ran it they almost won a game running one play does it look like kentucky's offense like they started with this big big playbook and every week they're just shredding it by like 60 percent and now they're down to like three plays one of them is a field goal attempt yeah this is like your friend who starts out with a men's fitness workout that's got 22 different exercises and by the end he goes bro just bench and dips It's all I'm doing. Bench and dips.

Getting huge off bench and dips, man. That's where Kentucky's at. It's working for them because somehow, after being the worst football team I have ever seen in the first month of the season, they're five and four. And four and three in the SEC, and yes, still have the outside shot

on getting to the SEC championship game to face Alabama. And that'll be great. That'll be awesome. Everybody will enjoy watching that. the greatest conference on the planet. How many SEC East teams do you think you'd have to combine to have a team that would

be favored against Alabama? All of them? Would that even do it? Three. Three. If you give me three, I'm pretty sure I can make a roster. And if you give me the right three, I can make a roster that we'd go, all right, even money. So maybe you take most of Florida's defense, add in like Derek Barnett.

Sure. And then maybe a couple other guys. And maybe that's like, okay, that's close to Alabama's offense? I don't know, man. I don't know what you're slapping together there. You're taking Kentucky's offense. You're adding in South Carolina's high school senior quarterback, boom. Yeah, if I look at the SEC East, what quarterback am I taking? Is it Josh Dobbs just because I think, oh, I don't know, he can read the playbook for sure.

Maybe you have him play the first half. sure he's pretty good at that we'll have him play one half whatever half we need we'll have Josh Dobbs play oh no the second half sorry sorry it's the first half was last year I got the I got my Josh Dobbs is confused that and that and if we are talking about putting together enough people to make up a team so that we can win one game I would like to take this off-ramp to sorrow bill Rutgers and Michigan State play this week Jason how many wins do you have in the big 10 none yeah that's that's as that's as many as we've got on the board here yep so at the end of the day um you and i and at least one of these

teams will still have the same number of big 10 wins it's true it's amazing something's got to give, though. I think. I think. Maybe. Michigan State, either way, gone from playoff appearance is a charitable way of putting it. But Big Ten champion, let's say that, gone from Big Ten champion to maybe the only Big Ten team you beat all year is a team that lost by 78. points to your only actual rival

and one of your only other wins is against Notre Dame which is 3 and 6 you'll be surprised to hear this is this played at noon this is a noon game which is this is super fucking noon the schedule just admitting let's process this

let's get it out of the way let's eat your salad early in the day can we kick this thing off at like 915 I would be fine if you guys just want to get like a good morning workout out of this game process it right like if game days started and they're like well hell y'all michigan state and rutgers they're supposed to play noon i guess they thought they would just get this out of the way because they've got some laundry to do let's just get this over with yeah that's that's that's michigan state 2016 let's just get this okay damn oh

things are bad and it oh god holy shit things are bad A couple weeks ago, Bill C did a story of Michigan State and went through the roster and showed that it's, like, not exactly a super young team. Like, MSU fans will tell you it is, but, you know, and I'm, which is kind of the thing to every, fans of every bad team say. But, like, a lot of the starters and contributors, those guys are going to be gone pretty soon. Things are terrible.

Yeah, I would guess if I'm like, okay, what's wrong with this team? I think they all hate each other. Watch them play No one on this team likes anyone else That's my guess You could just look at it and go Like West Virginia

Once West Virginia had Whatever happened to Gino Smith's team Where they won like five games And they lost their last seven Where they just imploded Because of a personal thing That happened

But between a couple of players Allegedly This kind of looks like that I just think somebody owes someone money on this team They're not paying. There is a game in the Big Ten, I would point out, just, I don't know, take a flyer, look at it. Penn State, they're playing real, real well.

They get to go to Bloomington, Indiana, to play Team Chaos. Uh-oh. Yeah, uh-oh, yeah. That's my thinking exactly, that this game is just Seekwan running huge rips through this Indiana defense, and Indiana finding 38 ways to lose by one point. Yeah, breaking off those massive runs and none of it matter. because it comes down to a doink field goal anyway. Penn State has been, you know, they've been, like, steady and reliable after they upset Ohio State.

It was, uh-oh, they're totally going to brick it against Purdue. Nope, they blew out Purdue, and they blew out Iowa. You know, they're a consistent, solid team. And this is the Big Ten team to test that against. Yeah, y'all, y'all, they flattened Iowa. They reduced Iowa to ashes. It was not pretty. close. It was a mashing. Like one of the worst, one of the worst, like, peer-to-peer beatdowns

when you take actual teams that, you know, should be about as good as each other. Like, Iowa probably shouldn't have the talent Penn State has, but generally, you know, they should be, that should be a knockout, dragout, oh, this was, this was bad. So naturally, being that cocky and coming off of a good streak, this just seems like a natural stress test for Penn State because it's Indiana they're they're a deeply they're a deeply upsetting team in every way upsetting upsetting they're just they're just playing them is just vexing just just concerning yeah it's i mean it's it's setting up a really cool season here um a new year six bowl very very good chance um if things go really crazy maybe you can get into the big ten title

game probably not but still um 10 and two Spot in the orange, maybe even the rose. You got stakes against Indiana. That's never, that's never good. Never a good thing. If only psychologically, because it's just, it's worrisome, man. It's a sad, sad thing. I would also like to point out another game,

which I believe will be the superior team surviving a stress test of disturbing length and intensity. that would be Pitt at Clemson because Pitt finally after losing games by very thin margins they had three their three losses prior to

it blow it up Miami's hands had come but they're all one score games I believe they were like 11 points between the three games well they just they just took a Saturday off at Miami and why not you know it's a nice day

probably real pretty you're in Pittsburgh's overcast all the time you go out of Miami it's sunny it's hard to concentrate and that's i end up losing 51 28 well they go to clemson this week and pit an annoying team run the ball real well they'll keep it out of your hands for a while they run the ball in a variety of different fashions like have this little sort of like end around like jet sweep look fly sweep kind of thing that it's just hell on linebackers a a team that some people have suggested contains some of what michigan state lost

facts there are facts there yeah because pat Narjuzi was the defensive coordinator and might have taken some of his intellectual capital with him I don't know about that I do know that it's a game that Clemson because Clemson has struggled with lesser teams this year

it's a game that Clemson has to watch her ass in because Pitt is difficult physical mean and knows exactly what they do they don't try things that they can't do for instance passing they don't do a lot of that they're just going to they're just going to run the ball and try to mess you up on defense and let the chips fall where they may so that feels like in the 330 slot that's like a you know 27 21 game that nobody feels real good coming out of i have a sentence to say it's a delicious sentence it's delightful it's all the best words that would be notre dame

needs to beat army in order to get their fourth win of the season even the faintest prayer of a bull trip requires not losing two straight service academies. Yes, and on the tour of random places that Notre Dame, this is my favorite part, Notre Dame has the most random road schedule this year, and they're doing it with one of the worst Notre Dame teams in recent history. That's correct. They're going to the Alamo Dome in San Antonio, Texas, to play Army. Army! So that's where Notre Dame Army Yeah, it's

You look at the schedule and say, oh, oh, finally, a home game. Nope. They're going to Texas for, because reasons, because reasons. They're going to go play in an arena football stadium for recruiting. I don't know if recruits are going to go to C Army football, but sure. That's a place you can play. In addition to this, in addition to this, you should know Army, they're having a really great year for Army.

They're not really that good. They're not. They'll get to six wins because they play Morgan State next week. Then they have a very difficult game against Navy. They'll probably end up being six and six because they're not going to win this game against Notre Dame. How's this? They shouldn't win this game against Notre Dame, though Army's coach can tell his players

legitimately with a straight face and without lying, we can get bowl eligible by beating Notre Dame. Notre Dame, of course, last week against Navy had six possessions in that game. Six. Not in the first half in the whole game. Had six possessions. Navy only had seven, but Navy had more points,

which is the thing that matters most. Navy also ran out the clock. They ran out the clock with a 14 play, seven minutes. net drive to finish the game. That didn't even score. It was just designed to have fixed. So, I mean, Notre Dame, your defense, you got a lot of practice against this offense. That's good, I guess.

A whole lot of practice against it. Yeah, you've got to come out and hit this, son, because you've got all the, you've got all the practice in the world. There's no excuses at this point. Anything else of note, I did notice that Michigan plays at Iowa, and might I ask? Iowa, this is not a game they want to lose by massive numbers of points because Iowa's currently five and four. They need to get bowl eligible. They finish at Illinois and versus Nebraska. I don't believe either of those are gimmies at this point. I don't. I know. It's Illinois.

That's still, I don't think that's a gibby. There are at least two other games with considerable stakes, I'd say. There are a bunch of others that could tweak things slightly with some upsets. But, well, I guess three. Baylor, Oklahoma, I mean, some people are talking about Oklahoma could sneak into the playoff, which at this point last year and the year before, there were teams around here that got in, but different situations. I don't think Oklahoma's making it in.

However, there is a team in the Big 12 with only one loss that is not ranked too far away from where Ohio State. and Oklahoma were in previous years that is your West Virginia Mountaineers who are going to play Texas, meaning this game has stakes for both sides because as we know every Texas game is a referendum on Charlie Strong

this is, I mean it feels like every week either Texas or West Virginia is the most promising noon game and now the two finally meet because ain't nobody trying to watch Joe Mixon versus Baylor. Hell no. And you're not trying to watch anything

but these two teams, again, running up and down the field for the better part of four hours and 28 minutes. At least. You know, this is not... This is a game, by the way, that, like... I mean, really, like, at this point, Charlie could keep his job, right? Yeah. Yeah.

I mean, listen, I mean, we joked all along about a nine-win season. It ain't off the table yet. Nope. they can't drop one if you knock off if you give Baylor its first loss and you give West Virginia its second loss you know and then after that you get to play Kansas and then you get to play a kind of a limping TCU that's an eight and four C how do you fire an eight and four head coach well I mean you're Texas so you do it for what you want but I was going to say that with a straight face oh they don't do it with a straight face they do it

hollering and hooting and throwing the cowboy hat around round. Yeah, snaring grin kind of thing. Woo! Watch me do it, boys. I mean, if you knock off West Virginia, man, you got to, Charlie's probably got to be, what, even odds to keep this job at that point? At this point, yeah, if that's the case.

There are two other games I would like to mention on board. One, that, yeah, you do, in fact, get to watch Mississippi State at Alabama if you're a sadist. Sure. No. Yeah, nope. nope not happening i don't enjoy seeing nick fitzgerald harm so i will just attempt to ignore that game and its existence because my comment on that game um alabama is actually better than south alabama so i think mississippi state is going to lose yeah they should lose by this is i i would

assume that how many south alabas does it take to make up in alabama like 20 so it should be like something like 638 to 47. Well, the margin in that game was about a field goal, so now we're talking about 60. Okay, sure, take it. Man, life is so brutal because they've come off of this epic comeback win against Texas A&M,

and then they have this. That's the next week, like, yay! Oh, damn it. Yeah, you beat the number four, technically, team, and then you're a 30-point underdog because the universe hates you. Late night at Pac-12, Colorado at Arizona that Colorado can pick up their eighth win.

Eight and two, dude. Eight and two coming out of Week 11 for Colorado. That'd be, God, Mike McIntyre's a genius. Yeah, and wins against Arizona do count. They do actually go on your win-loss record. They do count toward conference standings. We called the Pack-12 office and checked to make sure, couldn't believe it,

but they said they're counting them. Wins against Arizona do actually count. It's amazing. Is Rich Rod just one out of here? He just won because he just blow this bitch up. I mean, was he pining for the West Virginia job when Holgo goes to the Chargers? Holgo does the, Holgo and Philip Rivers. That wouldn't be too bad, right?

They have a lot in common. They could hang out a lot. There's a lot of places that they would go together. You know, and none at the same time. That's what I was getting. Yeah, sure. Like, you know, where are we going? Well, I thought we'd go to the bar. I don't drink. Well, that's it. There's a prayer breakfast at the bar. Yeah, that's, they come out, we're going to the prayer breakfast. It's 1 a.m. Yeah, it's an early breakfast. It's at a.m., didn't it? It's said a.m. I was the Hulgo impression. It's got to sound a little, like, drunk Sean Michaels.

If we ever do a Hulgo movie, I want Sean Michaels to play Hulgo. With, like, the shittiest hair imaginable, right? Like, he's got a weird hairline, so you just fluff it up a little bit. And, you know, maybe have him not work out for a few months. No offense to Hulgo. Good, good looking dude. Great looking dude. Sure, yeah, but, you know, he's...

He's not as fit at Sean Michaels. He's very few people are. Yeah. But the voice, the voice is what does it. Yeah. Oh, and one game we must mention is the $5 bits of broken chair trophy between Minnesota and Nebraska, the Internet's favorite college football trophy game, a actual physical trophy designed by the Internet that is now being upheld by two actual college football programs. We made it. And this game has stakes this year.

Nebraska is ranked somehow, for some reason. Minnesota is not ranked somehow for some reason. Minnesota's coming for that number. Coming for that pound sign 19, Nebraska. Coming for the finest trophy in all of college football. I have a number for you. It's going to close our broadcast. 78.

Can you guess? Rutgers gave up that many points. Probably. I don't know. I can't prove you wrong. I was leaning more towards that is the opening over under. Per Bovada for Cal at Washington's. State. Cal at Washington State. That's right. This game still has to be played.

What was the Oregon Cal over under? That was the high, oh, that one was 90. Never mind. Yeah, that was nowhere near that. That was, that was 90. Can I, can I, cow, getting sleepy. Points, yeah, no, well, you know what, they're bears. It's getting close to hibernation. They're getting so, so sleepy. Pick you up, Cal. Defense breaking out all over the place for this game because the average is, for these two teams, is right around 83, it's a little bit under 83, 82 and change, 82.7 points

per game. That's cool and everything, but that's assuming the exact amount of defense contained in this is great. It's like, yeah, there's exactly four points of defense. What time is this kickoff? Oh, God. What time do you think it is? Of course it's the last game kicking off.

Of course, it's the last game. Bang the over. Yeah, exactly. That and you are dealing with, like, Washington State's got the second most prolific offense in the Pac-12, and California has the third. So I'm calling, like, this is like, 2.45?

Yeah, sounds about right. This is, of course, the game that, I think, two years ago, it was the craziest game of the year. The one that... It's one of the defining drunk Pac-12 late-night games, and this is... Oh, God, we're going to be up so fucking long. Yep, I went and watched an entire...

This is the best part. I assumed this game would be over. I went out. I came back. Turned it on. Third quarter. Third quarter. Not even like, oh, we'll catch the fourth.

Nope, late third. Something wrong with the DVR? What's going on here? Nope. You just fell into the fact 12 vortex. Yeah, this was the end. Remember, it ended on a missed field goal. Yeah.

This is Connor Halliday throwing, what, like 80 attempts in a game or something like that, throwing for 700-something yards, and the game ends on the most mundane of all plays, which is kicking the ball and it doesn't work. Yeah, that was my... You could see, like, Mike Leach, Mike Leach in his head. They lined up for like a one-yard field goal that Washington State misses,

and in his head, Mike Leach says, I'm never fucking doing that again. Well, I guess we're getting rid of the kick-the-ball play. That's, huh. Well, I don't know why you'd use your foot when you can just use your hand. Here's the thing about hands. we'll cut it there

Mike Leach about to tell you