Shutdown Fullcast - Shutdown Fullcast 4.52 - The Single Winwood Offense

Episode Date: November 14, 2016

Fair warning: if you listen to this episode, you're going to hear Spencer scream IOWAAAAAAAA for a longer time than seems necessary. You will also hear - A tribute to Hawkeye punter Ron Coluzzi and Tales of Kinnick Intoxication - Actual positive discussion of Pitt, no fooling - Actual positive discussion of USC, what is wrong with us - Checking in on Boston College, that's more like it - Conference championship nightmare scenarios imagined - Auburn's um, interesting quarterback situation - Congratulating Wake Forest on their big hockey win Learn more about your ad choices. Visit megaphone.fm/adchoices Learn more about your ad choices. Visit podcastchoices.com/adchoices

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Ramp.m.p.com slash easy. Currents issued by Sutton Bank and Celtic Bank members of DIC terms and Conditioned supply. Welcome to the shutdown forecast. Oh, my. Do we have a recap week for you? Because we boldly predicted. It's been going around. Bold predictions are not going real well. The week 11 would be an uneventful formality of a weekend. Oh, low, college football and life and fate. You have proved us wrong again. We have so many things to discuss to join me to discuss all of those things. Jason Kirk, college football editor, live from Beautiful, Kennesaw, Georgia. Say hi. You're fucking kidding. That's... That's odd.

We did the insults of the drop. Gapunk. Like I was saying, welcome to the shutdown forecast. Brought to you by only the finest of internets, a.k.a. whatever Jason's hooked up to in the Cobb County library system down the street. Hi, Jason. How are you? Oh, hey. What happened? What did you hear? I don't know. You tell us because we were, because I have one thing I want to discuss.

But what do you want to discuss coming out of an eventful, upset, plentiful weekend of college football? Well, as Spencer and I tried to tell the listener on our recording last week, this was going to be a monumental weekend of college football. This was what we assured you. We told you it would be great, filled with great games, big games, and probably the best week of the season. I recall you and I saying that to each other, and boy, did it deliver just exactly as we predicted. yes because we called it ass week not because it was going to be filled with ass and ass of tasting no no no we called it ass week because ass is great yes it is phenomenal it's great part of the body keeps a lot of people motivated ryan nanny joining us from brooklyn hey uh what what do you want to talk about before we get too deep into this um boy i i know we're not talking about politics here on the full cast but i just want to you know as a Stanford fan we've always been job creators

and usually that has to do you know that's in the tech industry medical technology aerospace but this time we're creating a job in Eugene Oregon and I feel pretty good about that go Cardinal

I have one game I want to discuss first one game above all others and it is Iowa Ryan, can you loop that So it goes on a few minutes longer? Most important football program in the United States,

It's just as, just as we all. I'm actually going to put that over the call on me, uh, instrumental. You mean Valerie? Wait. The Steve Winwood. Yeah, sorry, sorry. Valerie, yeah. No, you put Coluzzi.

Ron Coluncy. The most important player for the Iowa Hawkeyes, if you did not see it. Oh, Michigan, Michigan lost to Iowa. First of all, I know you were all too. with it and we're just normalizing it right now. I don't want you to do that. This Iowa team that got spanked by Penn State just a week prior came back and won a 14-13 matchup over the previously undefeated Michigan Wolverines. And in doing so, by the way, got 14 points in the most Iowa fashion imaginable. How did they get 14 points, Jason? Two came on a safety of Chicago.

God damn right, they did. That's what the game was over, by the way. When Iowa got a safety, I thought, oh, you're in such danger. Oh, no, it's Iowa's force multiplier. They activated. We knew Michigan was in trouble because once you see 10, you say, oh, shit, they're three field goals away from 11. And as we all know, once Iowa reaches 11, they've won per an internet video that you can look up and try to find.

Because, I don't know, it's hard to find. I'll include it. Okay, good. It was Chris Hassel's immortal imitation of the Iowa announcing crew calling a big three over Penn State, where they did indeed get 11, and the imitation of color commentator at the time Gary Dolphin is, they needed 11, Gary. They got 11. As we all know, whenever Iowa hits 11 points, the game is over,

even if, you know, there's residual points in Michigan scores a few more meaningless ones, and then Iowa scores a few more meaningless ones as well. Once they hit 11, the game was in hand. And Iowa's first half offense, we put a joke post about this, that their punter was their best offensive weapon in the first half. And when I say kind of a joke, I mean not a joke at all, because this man ran a fake punt and didn't get it. Turf Monster got him.

Somersault to face first, somehow caught a targeting hit that set Michigan's next drive back 15 yards. That's 15 right there. Next drive recorded two straight running into the punter penalties that strung that drive along. No points resulted from any of this, but it's a field position game. And in true Iowa fashion, you know, it all sort of amounted to eventually a safety. Yeah, man. You want to talk about the most of all the time? This was it.

This was without question. This was, this is why you extend Kirk France decades at a time. What really is the cherry on the Sunday for me. The man who did this is a college student whose name is Ron. That's a 20-year-old name Ron. Dude, how do you get that kind of licensing? You can't be called Ron until you're at least 45. you should yeah you usually have to have a divorce and a serious workman's comp claim before you can be a ron but he's doing it now he's ahead of the curve weren't you married weren't you married to darla ronald it's it's wrong that was a long time ago

long time ago that was when i was wild ronnie have settled down yeah i'm now ron that's what it says on my business cards for this pool cleaning business Ron Kaluzzi, you should know this, by the way. Ron Kaluzzi, not only did he draw a crucial penalty. Okay, not only did he punt brilliantly all night. He was great, as he should be. Getting more and more pumped, that's why I knew, besides the safety, that this was over, because Ron Kaluzzi had 282 yards punting it.

After every single punt, just got more and more hype. Like, the crowd in Kinnick Stadium is based entirely on the punters attitude and he was like fist pumping like hell and all these iowa people are like getting completely insane because they're like yeah punters pumped the punters pumped we're alive he set up the safety all right he averaged 47 yards a punt he did a lot of important fist pumping and if i can point to one thing to give you like in case you doubt that this was the most important player on the field who held the winning field goal that would be holder ron coluzzi all excellent golden finger we call him the golden the golden finger the human tea ron kaluzzi can we talk

about the the real winners of this game though and that's iowa fans who got drunk according to the university of iowa's department of public safety uh we've got we've got one young man who was arrested at six o'clock uh he approached a police officer to give him a high five and the And the officer saw he was obviously intoxicated. After the officer told him he needed to behave, he disagreed with the officer. I'm reading verbatim off of this police report. He had a 0.23 BAC. Uh, it gets better.

Let's see. There is Patricia. She's 46. She was arrested at 6.30. She was found having an odor of alcohol on her breath and slurred speech and was, and refused to leave the stadium. when asked to do so by a police officer. She subsequently called the police officer a racial epithet.

She had a 1.14 BAC. Let's see. That's an amazing series of an event. We're not even halfway there. Ross, 20 from Las Vegas, Nevada was arrested. 20-year-old name Ross. Uh-huh, was arrested a little bit before 7 o'clock. He was found on the sideline without a credential when the officer confronted him.

He produced a general admission ticket. Security told the officer he had a can of beer earlier. He refused a breath test. I'm going to skip the next one because it's my favorite. Let's see. Here's, I'm going to, one guy, the story's not interesting. Clayton, 21-year-old, blew a 0.31. Yeah.

Okay. Here's my favorite. This is Michelle. This is the story of Michelle. Michelle's 35 she's an Iowa Hi Michelle She's an Iowa native She was arrested at 718 in the evening

She had slurred speech She spoke in incoherent sentences And she believed she was in Ames Iowa At the Iowa State versus Arizona football game A game A game with which our colleague Brian Floyd Has pointed out Has not been played

in 48 years. How old is she? She's 35 and she blew a 0.225. She went like six years before her own birth. Yes, she's incredible. She got so drunk, she ended up not only in the wrong city, but in the wrong decade. Hey, ask me if Iowa State won that game in 1968 against Arizona.

No, I don't need to. They didn't. No, they lost 20. 21 to 12. Yep. They got palindromed. So that's how you know it was a good night for Iowa. The arrest report was popping.

Wow. Man, yes. You did it, Iowa. Eleven's all across the board. Ah, breath. Literally breath, breathtaking night in Iowa City. Man, does any, does any, does any, anyone get drunker than some like

mumbling dude from Iowa when Iowa wins a game by one point and it involves a safety like oh this hoodie is coming off tonight you might see the t-shirt it's going to be crazy I would like my favorite thing about this game

is that Ohio State got to watch Michigan lose which yay that's fun and then look up at the standings and realize that was actually pretty bad for us because now they're now they're They're three-way tiebreaker, which would have made Ohio State, Michigan, the Big Ten East title game.

Now, that's gone. So now Ohio State needs Penn State to lose to either of the Big Ten's two worst teams, Michigan State, or ruggers. So for Michigan, this was really a win because they got to see Ohio State lose as the result of a Michigan loss. Jim Harbaugh is playing chess, man. He knows. These three moves ahead of you. That safety was intentional. It really wasn't, actually.

It really wasn't. They just got slammed to the back of the end. I would like to discuss. What would the take for Jim Harbaugh to, like, intentionally lose a game? If you told him it was a win, that's all you have to do. Yeah. Just convince Jim Harbaugh that the goal of the game is to lose, and he'll lose as hard as he can. He'll lose the shit out of that game.

He'll have his previously excellent. offense only score what 13 points we should we should also note that uh if you're if you're a ohio state fan looking to michigan state or ruckers for help yeah based on uh michigan state forty nine ruckers zero this weekend i think you should put all your eggs into one green basket records is bad oh they it's is it 127 to nothing their score against the state of michigan this year i think that was the number we we came up with but something like that. The good news is they don't have to play Western Michigan

because they're nowhere near a bowl game. Shit. Eastern is going to a bowl. Central's going to a bowl. This could be a 5-0 sweep. I was going to say there's not some sort of state law that kicks in where they have to play the next best team for Michigan if they lose to everybody, right?

There's nothing. Yeah. How does this get written into New Jersey law? Ruckers lost to Michigan High School and not even like a really good team. one. Cast Tech 17, Rutgers Zero.

Dude, they lost the lions. Oh. Oh, shit. The lions are good this year. It's weird. Are they? No, that's fine.

They're never good. The lions can have 16 and O, and I'd be like, man, they're crap. They're going to bug us. What I understand is the lions, they moved into first place today because all their rivals lost. Can you confirm?

That is roughly correct. Yeah. So they are the Alabama. They're the Alabama of the that's the SEC West and they're Alabama okay okay well but but but if we're going to talk about long-haired puffy-faced quarterbacks it's time to talk about Georgia Auburn

yes the air the air to the keg throne that is being a floppy-haired kind of puffy young man playing quarterback in the first half Jacob Isson got his helmet knocked off on a very brutal looking sack jogged off the field because that was third down and he man jacob easen looks so much like a roadie just just absolutely looks like he's ready to pack up a drum kit and and head straight for to pica or wherever the next stop on this tour is man i think he's got a really nice tan

he does he does this is the this georgia team definitely resembles most the band of convenience that you see in a lot of high school talent shows, i.e. they have a guy with long hair who listens to jam music. They have a hipster Rodrigo Blankenship, who's obviously very picky even about the indie rock that he listens to and how he listens to it, along with the five rap

albums he buys a year, just to, you know, kind of be in the mix. And then there's Nick Chubb, right? And they have Bryce Ramsey, the guy who wanted to be lead vocals, but is a surprisingly good bass guitar player. Yeah, sure. We'll just just put him on there, right? And then they just kind of play at talent shows. That's this Georgia team

in a nutshell. And you should know this too, that if you didn't watch this game, we're going to bring you up to speed on what happened. Nothing. Like a whole lot. It was 7-7 and then Georgia kicked two field goals. That's where Georgia's at, by the way. They're very excited about kicking two field goals with a guy with glasses. Do you know what the last time anyone who looked like an absolute nerd was favored by anybody in the state of Georgia? Never. Like maybe one of those super racist governors who wore horn rounds. But even then, that was in at the time. That's it.

We're throwing it back to less dramatics. Yeah. Wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait. Hold on. Horace Grant is from Georgia. He was born in Augusta. Horace Grant. Okay.

Yeah, we'll claim Horace Grant. Okay, sure. Claim Horace Grant all day long. That was the last thing. Horace Grant is like, what, 6-6, powerfully built? Definitely, like, the glasses aren't the impediment. there right no no no no yeah you should horse grant 610 horse grant's a big dude yeah you can wear glasses the last dude who looked like this much of a nerd who was this

beloved by university of Georgia football fans was lester maddox i'm gonna go with like the lead singer of third day the christian rock band he wears glasses as i understand um my favorite thing about this game was the winning score was a touchdown scored by the corn quarterback who left Alabama to Nick Sabin's dismay and would end up with the score that gave the division to Alabama. It's like all along Sabin's like, oh, no, don't go to Georgia. No, no. He knew all along. Saban knew all along.

He sent Kirby over there to beat Auburn so he wouldn't have to. He probably actually, he probably did this so he could go ahead and clinch early so he could scream at the media all week ahead of Western Carolina or whoever they play. Chat new guy, I believe. I think it's the Mox. Sure. Whichever. Yes, the Mox. Sorry, Mox. But yeah, he just wants to be able to get as mad at the media as possible, which requires clinching as early as possible. Auburn functioning only as a run team, which is easy for Georgia to stop, evidently.

I only got like 127 yards rushing. Sean White is still the starting quarterback at Auburn. Sean White does not have a functioning shoulder. Yeah, it came out after the game that Sean White was hurt, and he kind of kept it to himself. And, I mean, that's not a surprise. They got, what was it? One first down in the whole second half? No first down?

I think it's none. I believe the number is zero. Through four, 27 yards total. On 20 attempts. That's the confusing thing, is that I understand, you know, Sean White's hurt. Cameron PetWaves hurt too I mean so you are automatically

stuck with two bad options but then you decide that your run pass ratio is going to be 32 to 22 I mean I just ooh choices yeah

if you like Sean White was short arming three yard throws that's how injured he is would you pull the red shirt from Woody Bear you might have to you might have to pull a

Hugh Freeze and start your treasured young quarterback because Auburn has very few options at this point. Oh but if they Can I can I is that worthwhile Like is that I was about I was about to go ahead

And advance this discussion to yeah well who would he Barron have to play? Yeah. Don't do this Don't do that man. He I have to play Alabama. No, no.

That's not cool. I mean, just let Gus get back there and run the snap it. Snap it to Gus. Have him put on the leather helmet from the Chick-fil-A game. Have Gus run the ball. That's, listen, let Gus run it because, you know, at least he's being paid. I'm not throwing anyone out there for free to take that kind of abuse. I mean, Alabama faced somebody making his first career start.

already once this season and Max Brown and he's not the starter anymore. So like no. No. Don't do that. Yeah, you play quarterback against Bama. He's spent. You only get to use that guy once.

That's what happened to Stephen Garcia. Done. Beat him once. Don't get to do anything else for the rest of your life. Alabama, it should be noted the nation's number one team, increasingly irrelevant to the sport of college football because they just do

things like play Mississippi State, went 51-3 and we don't actually get to talk about them. Like, oh, you know, Jalen Hertz said a rockery in like 100 yards and 300, whatever, it doesn't matter. Doesn't matter. Have they ascended to like their own league? Yeah, I mean, whatever. Nobody cares. Like, really.

Eventually they're just going to get apathetic on their own success. It's like Division I is now broken into FCS, FBS, and whatever Bama's doing. Right, you're on some Dr. Manhattan shit. Go play on another planet. go build crystal football now you're picturing a nude blue lane kiffin congratulations like i don't every day usually am all you need to know about the rest of that box score cooper bateman has a line that's it

cooper bateman got the one and only copper batman got some playing time so yeah whatever Alabama you're awesome nobody cares but the number two team in the nation well Yeah, that'd be Clemson. Let me tell you a few things about Clemson. Everybody's comparing them in 2014, Florida State. And I think that comparison's inaccurate because it's not. They're actually a lot like that because eventually they were going to cough up a loss after playing a bunch of games and coming up real close at the end,

still squeaking through. Nope, they finally, that lack of a run game and the defense bending and then breaking caught up with them as Pitt, Pitt. Pitt! Pitt! And Deshawn Watson throwing three picks on 80,000 attempts.

70. Because when you can't run the ball, you have to throw it so often that the potential number one pick is himself throwing picks. Yeah, they turned, Pitt managed to turn Clemson into shrimp and grits cow

because they threw the ball at 75. So here's what's sad. There have been 11, 11 instances, this college football season, in FBS play at least, where a quarterback's thrown for 500 yards. Now, granted, one of those games featured two quarterbacks who did that, so you already can get partway to this answer. Do you know what those quarterbacks records are in those games,

the combined record of those 11 stat lines? 1 and 10. 3 and 8. 4 and 7. Yeah. Yeah. It ain't good. One good idea is never to throw for 500 yards.

It's a real good idea to never throw for 500. By the way, it's also a very good idea to transfer out of the SEC as a quarterback because then you got to go to some place like Pitt where if we told you that Clemson lost to Pitt, what player on the Pittsburgh Panthers would you assume had to have the game of his life? James Connor. Correct. They're star running back, coming back from cancer, would have to be the one person who would have to put up, I don't know, 30 carries, 240 yards, 4 TDs.

No, that was not the guy who managed to put pit over the top against the Clemson Tigers. It was Nathan goddamn Peterman. Listen, man, we say, listen, Tennessee fans told us that Tennessee was going to have an impact on the playoff race this year. And just because it didn't happen directly doesn't mean it doesn't count go vals. Nathan Peterman, Tennessee transfer, who if you look up Nathan Peterman in Florida, The first result is a video titled Amazingly Bad Pass. To be fair, that happens with any quarterback's name in Florida, including quarterbacks who play for Florida. Correct.

Even once you win Heisman. If you win the Hezeman trophy, we still can play a team go, man. Like, Tim Tebow couldn't throw a wash bucket out of a dang old extended country-ish metaphor. Yeah, that's what Nathan Peterman was. He played one of the worst football games I've ever seen in just like 10 minutes of action against Florida in 2013, transferred to Pitt. Nathan Peterman against Clemson threw for 308 yards, 5 TDs. It went 22, 37. He was phenomenal.

He was astonishing against Clemson. And they win. This comes down to Clemson attempting to run the clock out on their last possession. there were two one yard down third and third and one and fourth and one and if you had ever watched any patnerduzzi's offenses or defenses at michigan state you know that fourth and six might be kind of a i don't know it could go either way fourth of one wasn't happening they were selling the hell out and clemson ran on both downs and got stoned so this is a joy i love that pit won this game they've had a couple they've had at least three losses by tiny margins this year they come back from a blowout to miami to beat the number two team in the nation so hell pit i'm i have nothing snarky to say about this at all other that pat and arduzzi can't decide whether he has facial hair so it looks kind of creepy to me other than that awesome no it was it was extremely good it was um this is also the part where we talk about how maybe it doesn't matter at all and if clemson wins the rest of their games

wins the a c championship game they're probably still in the playoff but why would we rain on your parade like that? Why would we make you think that this was not the weekend of ultimate chaos and destruction? Yeah, I think Clemson's doomed. That's right. Screwing now. So is Michigan. They're both out of it. Take that to the bank.

Get angry. Eat your feelings. Tiebreakers. Eat your feelings. I'm a man. My heart pumps hot blood. I like making children. I like eating food. Now Alex Jones, Alex Jones is somewhere between Wright Thompson and Alex

Jones, and I'm okay with it. That and Clemson does have the remaining part of their schedule at Wake Forest and versus South Carolina. I cannot exaggerate the amount of mirth I would feel of South Carolina beat Clemson, not because I have any particular... Oh, Jesus. Not because I have any particular animosity towards Clemson or fondness towards South Carolina, quite to the contrary, even though they did lose 20 to 7 to Florida.

What are you doing losing to Florida, South Carolina? that was fine um here i you know okay so if we're not willing to knock clemson out i'll say this i'm not afraid i don't think boston college is making the playoff after losing to florida state 457 where a game where jeff jagosinski the coach who was fired from bc for just interviewing for another job which you could do was was dragging them on twitter say that's embarrassing man if you want to get back with the hero lose a zero On Twitter, basically. He interviewed for an NFL job, and they fired him for it.

This happened 10 years ago. The best coach Boston College has had in my sports viewing lifetime. Granted, he's only there for two years, so who knows how good he was, but they fired him because he interviewed for an NFL job, and now he's just slaying him on Twitter. I know this is old at this point, but let's go ahead and say it. Boston College, four passes completed. nine punts that's the spicy meatball

yeah that's that's that's that's a Boston college game for you this is our Boston college blog I'm in I think it was the end of the third quarter they just went ahead and put up the game recap they just said this this game's over we're down by 35 we're next done Friday night's over and this is the only game on Friday night. That was brutal. Like a Friday night, it's supposed to be all right. Now, Boise State's kicking off at 10.15. Mac Brown's

already clocked in. He's already clocked back out. All right. Let's go watch. Let's go watch it. No, that was it. You should give us Boston College. Yeah. We'll be just Boston College. Again, Mac Brown leaving the booth.

I'll see you later. I don't need to be here. Neither do you. Let's make better choices. Here are you. You can. You can go watch house hunters. It's International Edition. There's a spoiled couple trying to find a flat in Hanoi for just $300 a month. I don't think they're going to get it. Copenhagen's a beautiful city and a better chewing tobacco.

Don't do chalk kids. But if you do, Copenhagen. Yeah, the smokeless tobacco with the smooth finish. The FCC doesn't allow those. now there there was a third top four college football playoff entrant to lose although this one was the one that felt the least surprising I suppose and that would be Washington losing to USC by the score of 26 to 13 I don't I mean I don't feel like this is a huge knock against Washington or what they've done this season they lost their leading pass rusher before Joe was before this game. They lost their leading tackler in the first half of this game. USC has, USC looks completely different from the first month of the season. And Jake Browning just, he, for what, you know, watching him against Stanford and marveling at the time he had in the pocket and watching him against this USC defensive line and Clancy Pendergast, uh, yeah, he just was, he was count in the seconds almost before he snapped the ball.

Yeah, I would caution anyone watching a replay of this game to put on the blast goggles and grab your most fireproof gear for watching what Porter Guston, 45, the defensive end for USC does to his man

on the line. It was not humane at all. It's not like Porter Guston's been a machine in terms of production. He has it. I don't know. what was up with Washington's left tackle if he was hurt,

but Porter Augustine spent most of the night pushing Washington's left tackle into Jake Browning. He had two sacks. He didn't even have that many tackled. He was just collapsing the pocket on every single play. And no quarterback's going to be good under that kind of pressure. None. Yeah. And they took three shots at Adori Jackson.

One of them worked out because he had fallen. and on the ground. I'm sure there were other passes, but two picks for him in this game. Man. Adori Jackson. Am I going to have to learn what Clay Helton looks like? Is that a thing?

You might. You might. Adori Jackson, after getting burned by John Ross, I mean, getting torched by John Ross. Yeah. He got Iverson is what he got. I mean, it's not like he lost a foot race. He just falls started and slipped in the blocks. I don't want, you said fell down.

There's a reason he fell down. Yeah, yeah, that was kind of me. He got juked out of his pants. And that's Dori Jackson, who is an elite athlete. Yep. A physical marvel, all right, and an excellent football player. He posted the Vine on Twitter after the game with the saying, man, it happened.

And the crying, laughing emoji twice after it, which is, how fantastic is that the Tori Jackson after getting torched posted is like ah you know I'll get it back and he did he did he's got two picks USC beating them the most

improved team I mean I was going to say Kentucky as the most improved team because they're coming from so far down to like 500 right yeah they're in there Penn State is in that conversation too I think

definitely but I don't think anybody wants a piece of USC right now. Not right now. Not right now. And I mean, you know, what's weird is I think one of Washington's best hopes for getting into, for re-securing a spot in the playoff is a rematch with, with the Trojans in the Pac-12 championship game. Right now, that spot belongs to Colorado, but there's still time for that to change

because I don't know. I think just there was a lot of, there was a lot of, of sort of watching that game where you were like, I don't feel like this Washington team, based on this game, can do anything. And also, Washington, we, oh boy, we got to talk about your resume.

What's the best win on Washington's ledger right now? It's the Cal win, which needed a punt return at the end of the game, which, but it's fine. Win's a win. And after that, it's pick your, pick your very unimpressive Pac-12 North team.

They let Rutgers score 13, points on a man at the time that didn't seem alarming but now it's embarrassing yeah and in addition to that you're going to have a champion come out of the pack 12 uh who there's an extremely good shot that it won't be washington that in fact the pack 12 could be won by a team that opened the season by losing to an fcs team go coogs like let's just do i want to do a little quick cycle around young conferences here okay yeah yeah yeah let's do it okay we should also um just so everybody you're probably going to stop listening now because he's the only good host on this podcast

but jason disconnected yet again and can't get back on so it's just the two of us we got this we can make it if we try our son our son will come back no he won't our brother the the the the the

the the 12 it's just nowhere absolutely nowhere I know

there are ways that you can write this scenario this fantasy so that

we can get the big 12 back in it no they don't and after

a round of championship games we don't get that so there's absolutely no way

that the big 12 gets back in not in any sort of sane world the big 10 the big 10 in right we can safely say that like if the big 10 gets in with you know like their one loss champion uh they'll they're in the playoff i okay there is there is

there is a chaos element there that i want to talk about because because most of the focus has been on well what happens if you know michigan beats ohio state penn state gets that spot and i think if penn state you know goes to the big 10 championship game and wins, I think they probably go to the playoff. I don't think you're definitely not putting them in over at that point to loss Ohio State. Are you putting them in over one lost Michigan? My theory is that the playoff committee is too worried about devaluing conference championship games to not give Penn State that spot.

I could be wrong. And it really has nothing to do with who deserves it. But I think that's where their brains are at. but here's the scenario we haven't talked about what if one of the west team wins west teams wins oh god yeah well if it's wisconsin oh hey he's back sweet lord yeah yeah i gave up on this podcast on my computer and then my phone rang and so and then i just picked it up and i've been listening for the last minute and then uh found found a spot where I could where I could just jump right in, which was Wisconsin.

Okay, if it's Wisconsin. Which is in the top 10. If it's Wisconsin. Which has a win over LSU, which its only losses are our top 10 losses. Both by. Maybe doesn't seem to care about quality losses, but. Both by one score. Yeah. They're both competitive. Yeah. Yeah.

Yeah. If Wisconsin wins the big 10, I think, I think they're in. What if it's Nebraska? Well, that's a bit That's a bit too far Yeah, that's You're really Brian, you're really pushing it

I wouldn't say Nebraska's out I mean, if Nebraska wins That means they will have beaten Either Ohio State or Michigan Or Penn State And they will have lost to Wisconsin Which that's a hell of resume right there when you put those two games together i mean buddy they beat

oregon so so it's not it's not that i'm it's not that i'm saying it's going to happen but it's there it's it's out there and it's waiting it's the one bad spot on the board where you're like just don't roll a nine don't roll a nine yeah they're going to roll a nine yeah i think the big ten might roll a nine they might roll a nine they might roll a nine the ac cc should be set if Clemson gets to the ACC championship game

despite having one loss they should be in on this there are ways that Clemson lose but I think but I think

here's the ACC I feel like is the safest because if if Louisville and Clemson both win out and Clemson

goes to the ACC championship game I think even if Clemson loses I think Louisville just slides into that spot

probably probably because Because it's not anybody from the coastal. Oh, my God, no. No, no, no. Although, man alive. Everybody, everybody in contention for that spot in the coastal has just an ass showing.

In recent, like as recently as this weekend. Virginia Tech? Yeah. Didn't do much against Georgia Tech guys. North Carolina? Yeah, you lost to a bad Duke team. Whoops. Yeah.

Yeah. Let's do this. By the way. In case that team comes out, if you get like a North Carolina or Virginia Tech winning that side and then somehow beating a Louisville or Clemson coming out of that, that'll be the biggest waste of the ACC's star talent ever. You will be incinerating the careers of Sean Watson and Lamar Jackson at this. So North Carolina wins the ACC. The playoff is the playoff is Bama, big. Washington, West Virginia.

You won the Heisman Trophy and have nothing more than that to show for that. Possibly two best quarterbacks in the country. Yes, all for the glory of Mitch Trubisky winning the ACC. Which means North Carolina takes the Orange Bowl, which means you have like either Clemson or Louisville or whoever is way down in like the Russell Athletic.

Yeah, destroying whoever it is. A furious, absolutely furious Bobby Petrino against Oklahoma State. Or this, flopping badly because you spend the entire week eating fries and drinking. Be like, holy shit, Mark Stubbs beat Louisville in the bowl game after losing to him badly at the regular season. Extension. Yeah, Lamar Jackson gained 27 pounds in a week. Didn't know Orlando was that smooth. We're getting reports on the sideline

That they're calling a timeout Because he's feeling farty Interesting Just please He'd out for the third quarter with bloated It's weird It's kind of so full I'm nervous Yeah

Is all right But I think what you're trying to lead us towards Is a weird Pact 12 scenario Am I totally wrong there? Yeah just just yeah Here your weird Pact 12 scenario Was this that And it's not

implausible or weird, because if you look at the Pac-12 standings right now, there is one, one team that has not lost a game in conference yet. That team is Washington State, 23rd-ranked Washington State, ahead in conference over cover. Yeah, ahead in conference. That team is lucky that E-dub and Boise are not in conference.

We're all lucky that E-dub and Boise aren't in the playoff, man, because Washington State will finish with like, this flurry of furious football and will stand in awe that these two teams somehow managed to beat them early on. Now, the Washington State, if they win in the Apple Cup, they'll advance to the Pact 12 championship game. Coming out of the south, the current leader are the Colorado Buffaloes, which would give you the extremely 2,000 matchup of Washington State, Colorado in the championship game. in the pack 12 championship game and in that game either one has completely blown the playoff their playoff like the pack 12's best playoff contender

which would be Washington with one loss and that's it they're not going to put a two loss pack 12 team in now now here's my secret hope all of these things happen and the committee has to look at undefeated western michigan has to Yes! I mean, at some point, at some point.

Yeah, right. Like, that's that, I mean, it sounds absurd, but there is a, there is sort of a point where you're like, well, we have to at least talk about it, right? We have to engage with, we have to negotiate with these terrorists. They just won't stop being undefeated. Y'all, Western Michigan is the designated survivor. Yeah, that's it. I mean, so this week they beat Ken State. That'll probably drop them from 21st or whatever to 23rd because they dared to play Kent State. Next week they play Buffalo.

Oh, now you're down to 24th. But, I mean, at some point, they'll trickle all the way up to like 17th. And then you just need what, like 13 upsets in the final weekend plus your conference title bump and you're right there in it. Spencer's right. That's how the designated service. works you need a lot of people to die but you're on the list yeah and and pj a fleck is right there just perking up waiting in a bunker like well guys you get oh no okay well now now you know it's going to be really funny if things go so far south that the committee's like yep florida state

three lost florida state getting in over undefeated western he appreciated their strength of schedule not the games they won against it because they were not very many of those that is but the level of initiative they showed in playing it. We appreciated their willingness to play in a Power 5 conference. We felt that Western Michigan's refusal to do so was impudent at best. Western Michigan's longtime adamant refusal to accept a Big Ten invitation. It was just rude. They would bring down our academic reputation, which you would point.

you would which you would point and say don't you have maryland in your conference what's the acceptance rate at iowa under armor is a major there's nothing wrong with that iowa has a writer's workshop damn it um there is one game there's one top 10 upset on this list that i will confess to knowing nothing about except the final score and that is uh old miss 29, Texas A&M 28. Can either of you help me? Yeah, yeah, I can help you. And then there you go.

There's the entire story. There's also this, that A&M got up big. They were up 21-6 at the half. And in the fourth quarter, because by the way, in blowing that lead, the 21-6 lead, old miss didn't even get started until the fourth quarter, which is the best part because Shea Patterson, after looking shell shock

for the better part of an entire football game in the last 25% of the proceedings figured out how to play football and play really, really, really well. They managed to put 23 points on the board in the final quarter to beat Texas A&M. It's breathtaking, really. Also, Joe Hubernack, Joe Hubernack had a chance to put this game away, and Joe Hubanak threw it to somebody, and they caught it.

That person was not on his own team. We all make mistakes. There's nothing wrong with that. It's fine. Just lost in the game, that's all. Brutal. And LSU. You should know this, you should know this, too, by the way.

One last thing for that. A&M had a 216 lead. How many first downs did they have on the night? Oh, God. They have 13. How is that? No, that doesn't make sense. Nope. I have flagged, I have flagged this tax return for auditing.

It is highly irregular. You know how many old Ms. had? 30. Nope. 30. All this, all this is going, you're going to have to call your accountant. None of this makes a lick of sense. Very sorry.

Are you saying, are you saying that an event involving Mississippi requires auditing by the IRS? Yeah, oversight. Yes. Shananagan's her head. You spent $3.8 million on catfish this? Yes, yes. It was good. Oh, I'm sure we can come together in fellowship and have a, have a, have, spend some time together at the men's prayer brunch and just sort this thing out among friends.

But my brother, brother Hugh has some documents you might like to take a look at. Small green documents. Small green. What's this one say? Alabama killed a booster. Oh, well, that's, that's obviously leaving. goaltender right there we'll take that as a court argument the other game that i wanted to point out as being extremely fun and i really hope you watched it was penn state indiana until because

this is again the indiana football experience in a nutshell a tight thrilling game that at the end of three quarters was 2421 then penn state dropped 24 fucking points in the fourth quarter to just shut the door on it. But that's not even the, I mean, yes, credit to Penn State, that's not even the best example of that scenario from this weekend, because at the end of three quarters, Wake Forest was beating Louisville 12 to 10, and they lost 44 to 12. And you know what? For three quarters, it looked like every Wake Forest game, and then at the end of the fourth,

it looked like every Louisville game. Yeah. And it was a real shame because somebody on Twitter pointed out to me that Papa John's Prize Camaro, it's Wake Forest Colors. It's true. Oh, my God. It's like he scrapped Wake Forest and turned it into a car. Which all things considered isn't the worst thing.

That's a third, by the way, that's, that's a 34.4th quarter. And Lamar Jackson was not even all that great in this game. He was, he was good. but he was not amazing by any means. Louisville still just stomped him. Just ended up stomping him. It's a metaphor for life. You can hang in there as long as you want,

but in the end, life is just going to stomp you. The big difference keeping Wake Forest in this game was pretty good assignment defense and three Louisville turnovers, which they turned into 12 points. 12 points. That's what you get off of three Louisville turnovers.

12 points. Wake deserves some kind of medal for giving this close. They did that, and they had 214 yards on the night. Louisville almost had 500, and they kept it so close for so long. 75% of an upset. You get credit for that, right? I think Wake, they beat him in hockey.

Doesn't hockey just have three periods? That's right. Yeah, so Wake won the hockey game. Congratulations on your Stanley Cup.