Shutdown Fullcast - Shutdown Fullcast 4.58 - BOWL SEASON COMIN'

Episode Date: December 5, 2016

The Playoff has been settled upon and it's fine. It's all fine. We mostly ignore that in favor of picking our own Playoff Of Teams You Don't Want To Face, including USC, LSU, Florida State, and, yes, Pitt. We also: - Praise Virginia Tech, one of 2016's most confusing and wonderful teams - Acknowledge the one Playoff truth: it's all a long prank at the Big 12's expense - Handing out the People's Heisman - Prepare for Dana Holgorsen, Wise Elder of College Football - Try to guess at Breaking Bret Bielema news - Talk way too much about Florida - Including a brief Outback Bowl discussion EVEN THOUGH WE'RE ABOUT TO DO A TON OF BOWL PREVIEW EPISODES UGH STUPID SPENCER Learn more about your ad choices. Visit megaphone.fm/adchoices Learn more about your ad choices. Visit podcastchoices.com/adchoices

Welcome to the shutdown fullcast. Oh, we, we're done. We're done. That's it. I begin the program by saying goodbye. We're done. The season is over. Everything else from here forward is exhibition.

If only, if only we had a playoff. If only. Well, we have the bowl games, and you know, that's just an excuse for fans to get to see teams that wouldn't otherwise be able to make the long and arduous railway a journey to come play on the West Coast or down south or something. It's a good, it's sort of an exhibition where we, like you said, where we get to see, oh, that's what a Michigan looks like. That's cool.

It's a really fun, consequenceless way for us to just, you know, enjoy the sport and just sort of, kind of treat it like a traveling magic show, you know? Sigfried and Roy almost, except not without all the mulling. do you think people in the 20s had that level of curiosity about other teams for instance when Alabama traveled to UCLA did they say oh my god they have naples I didn't expect them to but they have navels just like we do there I mean first of all I don't know why you think that football then or now involves that much looking at belly buttons but sure um well you know like how they banned the half the half jersey over the past couple decades or so I mean

And that's, you extrapolate that back 100 years, I believe that 100 years ago, jerseys barely even covered the nipples. That's true. There is a, there is a whole deleted chapter from the Great Gatsby where they're all just running around in half jerseys tackling each other. At that point, they basically were just wearing like necklaces for jerseys. They had yet to grow even past their collar bones. This is my shock. This is my shock collar, if you will. It prevents me from suffering concussions. other jostlings of the brain and brain casilar areas yeah that's i think what i was trying to get at is we do have a playoff we're gonna talk we're gonna why didn't you why don't you just fucking say so why you got to be all why you got to be all all fancy dancy with god just say it we have a playoff

thanks jerk yeah oh yeah we we got one and it does it have some controversy oh low dear listener does it have a minor degree of controversy a controversy i guess it does it has it has the most manufactured controversy possible imagine a small slice of the rust belt determining the course of a vast enterprise imagine are you trying to say the state of pennsylvania got mad and everybody else had to put up with it we all have to each shit for it that's basically what i'm saying Put Temple in. Put pit in. Put the actual state champs in.

How about that? Pitt v. Temple. National Championship game right there. Panthers owls. A bunch of grumpy looking white guys with goatees and sweatshirts. Let's do it. Spelly, he didn't mean that. I did.

I did. Joining us via belated introduction. Yeah. Why are you even bothering? But go ahead. You know, I got to tell. I got to rep. I got to let the people know. People have to know who's responsible for what's happening.

I am damn proud to do this program every week. Thank you, Les Miles. With Jason Kirk, live from Kennesaw, Georgia. Hey, what's happening? I am shocked and bewildered and stunned that a two-lost team that lost team that lost a game by 39 points didn't make the playoff. This is a gross injustice. And, man, I can't even imagine. what are we saying here like next are you going to say a team can you know lose a game by 35 points and not make the playoffs slippery slope here yes thank you for introducing the worst of all rhetorical arguments the slippery slope in the first five minutes of the program i appreciate that it's all downhill from here um

that's how the slippery slope works because it's yeah exactly we just see it's real it's real don't lie don't laugh at it uh The other person joining us, that'd be Ryan Nanny, who I told we had a playoff. Congratulations. We have a playoff, Ryan. I assume Florida is in it. Sorry, I fell asleep in 2000. I fell asleep in summer 2008. And, you know, I'm just, well, let me, let me back up.

Urban Myers in the playoff. Yes, Urban Myers in it. Right? Yeah. Okay. Great. Yeah, you're good. You're good.

So. Yeah, one, one, one, one, one, one, one, one bit of clarification for that. Florida is not at the playoff. Huh. We are the opposite of in the playoff. We're out of the playoff. Yeah. More fun on that.

We played the SEC championship game. Well, that's good. It shouldn't be mentioned. Yeah, it's good. We won the East. Funny story. Yeah. And then we had to play Alabama in the midst of an eight-year run through one of the greatest

streaks of college football performance. I'm sure it was a back-and-forth brawl. Both teams played hard. Both teams played hard. There was a blocked extra point that went. ran back after Alabama went fourth. There was some fourth. There was a lot of fourth.

Yeah. Like fourth downs. Hmm. Fourth downs. Fourth interception, fourth sack. Huh. And then numbers passed that. Many, many numbers past that.

Numbers aren't the most important way to determine the course of a football game. It's really about effort. And Alabama certainly won this game. They certainly are owed all the respect. It doesn't matter. I can't even continue this. It doesn't. Whatever Alabama is doing on the football field right now is so far and above and so

unreminiscent of any other college football team. That it almost doesn't matter. Almost. I do like the idea of just giving Bama the title and having a playoff just for fun between four teams that we just want to see play each other. That sounds so far superior. I mean, this is like, it's like this. Have you ever gone to the gym or lifted weights with a,

friend who lifts easily 100 to 200 pounds more than you do. It's just, there's no reason to do it, right? This is what we have to do, Bama. We have to wait for you to finish bench pressing, okay? Hey, can you clear your rack, please? Sorry. Yeah. I mean, you know, you're doing reps at like, at 400, right?

I'm just going to be over on the sidebacks. I'll see you later. It's no fun. It's just not. It's not even a matter of feeling bad about our own. It's not a matter of like finding our own weights and taking them. I know, it just takes too long. Whatever you're doing, it's different than what everyone else is doing.

I'm just going to take an extra long shower. So why don't we just say, why don't we just say the playoff is the team's as constituted, except Bama, they have to start, the second string has to play. They have to, the first stringers, if you were a first string on Alabama this season,

you don't get to play and then if if for some reason we get to the national you know we get through the playoff and somebody beats the second string then it's sort of like in a Zelda game it's like okay well now you get to play the real Bama oh you thought you killed them huh? No that was a weak sad

fat Bama this is the real one it's got a sword made of other swords look out Junior Bama NFL Europe Bama the Barcelona Dragons Bama that's what we want I think that's fair Yeah, I mean, I think that's entirely fair

Because otherwise, it's boring It sucks It's pretty boring No one else is enjoying So if we just gave Amma the title now Who would be our Superfund 14 playoff? Yeah, let's go Would we have the three left over plus one or what?

There's nobody of the current Of the other three I would throw out right now Okay So would we add Penn State, Western Michigan I mean, let's see. Western Michigan has lost zero games. That's fewer than two, in my opinion. Listen, listen, listen.

Obviously, the playoff is not about wins and losses. Come on. That's true. That's true. Because if it were, yeah, if it were, or if it were about conference championships, you know, we'd have Penn State in, right? They'd be cruising. They'd be right there.

Because Big Ten, that's an important conference. That's one of the best conferences in the nation. Probably the best conference in the nation. wish you just left it at that one of the best conferences in the nation because that's true arguably a top five conference i'd say it's definitely one of the five best conferences in the country because every big 10 fan has gotten it in their heads that that their conference is just no doubt hands down the best and i mean every time i see that i'm like looking around like this did we all vote on this or something i don't understand we did like your conference has

Butgers, Purdue, Michigan State. I could go on. You have all these garbage teams soaking up losses. So, sure, you've got some teams with good records, but I don't, look, like, every, every, every chessboard has pawns. Every chessboard has pawns.

Check out these queens, bitch. The Big Ten is good. So is the ACC. The SEC is, well, it's got bare men in it. But like, the Big Ten, I ask you, best conference. I'll dispute that. Yeah, don't.

Don't throw out the un. I'm going to take that off. If I'm putting together a 14 playoff right now, by the way, it would be, it'd be Washington, it'd be Clemson, it'd probably be Ohio State, it'd probably be Penn State. I'm okay with that. If you got a different alignment, cool, I'd love to hear it. I'm sure it's fine. These are lukewarm takes, and we are spitting them out with ferocity, okay?

Because you know what? You can probably build another pretty good four-team playoff without including those four teams. Okay, let's say, let's say your goal is. not the lofty oh let's let's put in the most deserving just give me the four teams playing at a reasonably high level that it's not laughable to put them in the playoff that you just think this would be the most fun for team playoff to watch because if we're doing it if we're doing it that way i'm i'm putting oklahoma in there i know oklahoma lost to houston and i know they got killed by ohio state at home oklahoma the last like month and a half has has been a super fun team to

watch. I think the remaining three plus Penn State, those are all really fun teams. Every Clemson game comes down to some drama. Penn State, their entire offense is just, fuck it, I'm going deep. There are a lot of Clemson games that are fun for the wrong reason. Yeah. There are a lot of Clemson games here. You're like, holy shit, that's a naked guy in the mall. I guess that's fun in the sense that it's different, but it's not right. Whether the roller coaster is supposed to go off the course or not, it's still memorable. This is every Clemson game.

Watch it. It really is. Every Clemson game is this. It is an extremely fast, but slightly overweight athlete, running, sprinting, getting out to a real fast start, and then remembering,

oh, this isn't a half marathon, is it? Oh, oh, I, oh, man, I ate a whole, I ate a whole Rubin right before this. Oh, no. Good thing I drink an extra milkshake

The sour crowd. It's curdling in my belly. I could feel it. Big fat Clemson. Like talented Clemson. But let's be honest. About 15 pounds too heavy, you'd be doing this recreational marathon. A fat, talented Clemson.

Big, fat, talented Clemson. Just getting out to all kinds of up to fuck to excite on mile 13 when they're like, I'm going to need a bathroom pretty soon. What I'm a old jolly Clemson. What I love about Clemson is that, so they, they've forced 24 turnovers this year. Their defense is, their defense is really good. You would think that forcing 24 turnovers, almost to a game, would put you in great shape in terms of turnover margin. And nope, it's got them exactly at zero.

Everything the defense does, the offense has been to undo something the offense has done, basically. That's like generous lovers. Again, this is part of Dabo's brand of Christ-like football, giveeth and take it. That's right. The last shall be first. The fumble shall be recovered and lost. The new Romantics once said, you only get what you give, and Clemson has given 24 and gotten 24.

It's amazing. That's a clean checkbook right there. That's how you know Clemson's not cheating. Look at the balance sheet. Check it all that and balance this budget. I think you'll see this is all perfectly clean. Clemson's laundering footballs. Can I take a little, a bit, like a few more liberties.

Let's, I'm going to loosen that wins and losses. And I'm just going to give you teams that I thought by November, yeah, by October November, teams that were absolutely beating ass. And we're just, yeah, really fun. You're going to say USC, which is fine. Hell, yes, I'm going to say USC. Yeah. Who wouldn't?

They were absolutely fantastic down the stretch, and nobody wanted anything to do with them. I'd take Oklahoma in that. You know what? Hell, we've kind of been joking about it. I don't think I've been joking. Put pit in. Put pit in. Give me my LSU Bengal Tigers in there.

Oh, yeah. No, no, no. You want Ed Ogeron in that playoff. What's a playoff without Coach O. Yeah, exactly. And think about it this way. This is the interim playoff that we're appointing. it's only appropriate that Ed Ogeron be in it, being the dean of interim coaches.

That seems right. That seems totally right. Florida State also down the stretch. I mean, Clemson game was close, game they could have won, had some calls. I know that Florida State fans didn't like. Florida State is a team that I'm going to say if they played Washington right now, I'm not confidently saying, oh, Washington's definitely winning that game. No, no, no, no, not at all.

Especially given what you've seen out of Jake Browning and the passing game under pressure. You know, considering they had problems under pressure with Colorado. Which people are going to say that. They're going to go, oh, did you see Washington against Colorado? That's from people who haven't been watching them all year long. Colorado's had a really good defense. They put a lot of pressure on people.

If you want to talk about a team that turned it around late, that, you know, turned it on when it mattered. they weren't going to get, it looked like bowl eligibility was going to be just on the sliver. Put Kentucky in. Fuck it, man. Shit, let's put it in the Miami, Ohio Red Hawks. Started 0 and 6, finish 6 and 0.

That's true. They've got, hot down the stretch. One of the longest winning, they've got a longer winning streak than Ohio State, right? Yeah, also, if we're playing this Lego game style, where you can change into any character at any moment, right? Right. I think if you could just morph into Navy,

for a quarter or two that'd be great if you could just morph it a navy just to scare the living hell out of whoever you're playing that would be it except except temple except temple well we'll leave that in there yeah or or even or even south florida i i don't just because they were holy shit no wait i just fucking figured it out what we do is we combine temple pit and penn state into some sort of pennsylvania voltron and that's the team you don't want to play in the play off that's a good fucking team if you can if you can run like pit throw like Penn State and just have the griditude of temple oh my god just eating all the like sea quality meat products you can find good god the lords of Scrapple why is it full of french fries it's better

that way has anyone ever actually said no it's undisputed it's the undisputed best sandwich because we put fries and scrapple in it that's what we should that's what we should have given Penn State the option of doing saying at the end like listen before we need you to decide before the big 10 championship game do you want to continue this this game uh do you want to continue the playoff pursuit by yourselves or would you like to join forces and ally with one or both of temple and pit oh no this is this is great because this is uh this is like every seen in a movie where they're like, you know, we've been rivals. But to be this, we've got a team up. This is actually a real good strategy for actually being competitive against Bama.

It's also good because if you give Florida State this option, they only take USF. It's true. Take like a Florida defender or two. We'll take your field goal kicker. Yeah. Maybe your punter. We'll take your punter. Yeah, maybe. Even then, I was looking at last night, Somebody asked me, you know, where is Florida actually better than Alabama? And I thought, for a second, very carefully, and it was like, feel-go kicker. And somebody goes, what about a punter? Nope. No. Actually, Bama's punter's awesome.

Nick recruited that. So just in case you wanted one more thing, like, oh, yeah, well, I bet they don't have a punt. They do. They have a punter. They can punt. Yeah, this is an actual. They ain't going to hit a field goal, but they can punt. An actual headline today in AL.com was Alabama worried about replacing their holder.

What am I supposed to do with that? Oh, my God. Like what? Man, they got problems. These are the details that you obsess over. I don't know, man. I don't know if Nick's the guy for this job. Can't find a holder.

Meanwhile, like the team like Florida, Florida worried about getting in field goals. range. Florida, Florida worried about everything. I mean, in some ways, in some ways, I would consider quarterback to be a holder position at Florida, so. Yeah, holding the ball, holding the ball for quite some time. Look at them, holding it. Um, I, so I do want to, I do want to acknowledge that the playoff this year really

accomplished one thing. And that's to just make Bob Bowlesby fucking mad as shit. I appreciate that he's sort of like, okay, we've absorbed the lessons of the first two years of the college football playoff. It's clear that having the extra data point and having a clear unquestioned conference champion is of value. We also understand that you need to play strong out-of-conference opponents, and so we're making sure we've scheduled those. And so we're making all of this happen. Wait, what? What's that?

Oh, none of it's true. Oh, it's all a lie. I see. Well, thank you. See, Bob Bowlesby's, it feels like the common, the constant mistake by the Big 12 is assuming that everyone else has a plan, is a grown-up, isn't just making it all up as they go along. Like, I think the Big 12 itself has that identity, but the Big 12 thinks that it is the chaotic element here and everyone else has it all together. No, no, no, no, no. Everyone else is just as disorganized as you, Big 12.

They just don't make as big a show of it. So when the Big 12 says, well, I thought, they told us you have to have a 13th game. I mean, Oklahoma just made it in last year. Do you not remember that? Well, they also, I mean, the other conferences, I mean, you already pointed out, the bottom of the Big Ten, very, very, very bottom. It's really nice when you get to just say, yes, we have to pull. because they're part of the conference and that's how the division works and you don't have it's for some reason that's a different argument for a pen state than it is for a Washington who

affirmatively scheduled the Rutgers even though it's the same shitty fucking team like the right when that when they scheduled Rutgers it was during the Greg Shiano era as far as they knew Rutgers would be a nine-win team this year like Washington scheduled Rutgers I'm guessing it's a home and home I don't actually know but but They schedule them for a limited amount of time. The Big Ten East scheduled Rutgers forever. Forever. For what?

For what? To get the New York market? To get that easy job, man. No, that's the brilliance of it, is that we can talk about TV markets and blah, but they expand the conference. And now, when you, like, nobody looks at it and says, oh, well, we should devalue Ohio, you know, Ohio State's record isn't what it appears. appears to be because Rutgers isn't a power five quality team that's true but nobody says

it and it doesn't matter it's great it's Jim Delaney winning again baby winning again which by the way in this weekend I enjoy that Florida and Alabama go out and stage um I don't want to say snuff film because um because you know those are over quicker yeah this I don't know what that was mismatch is too kind did you watch the whole thing you did I did I did know what is why are you doing that it's 2016 like you have all the information you could possibly have

and you keep putting your hand on the stove and leaving it there why I don't know maybe maybe this wasn't anything else on maybe there was that that's true although I will say the minute I could oh yeah we put Wyoming San Diego stayed on okay the minute we could the minute we could watch Craig Bull who looks exactly like Mr. Magoo freezing a 19 degree

weather on the sidelines and watched John L. Pumfrey's last far out. Yeah, we put that on as soon as we could. But I watched almost all of it. Because I need to see it at the bottom. I need to see it at the bottom of the bottom. Because one of two things will happen.

Either I will be able to say definitively no, no, no, this is worse when the next bottom happens. And I could say, no, no, no, I watch that. I was there for UF, Nebraska. I was there for this. You were there for Florida, Missouri. I was there for Florida, Missouri.

I am at all of the new lows for this program. And I want to be the authority on that. Because one day, I have hope. And I don't think hopes of fools, Aaron. It's a little. foolish. But I don't think of the total fools, Aaron, because one day, one day, this football

program will be good again. There are too many stupid people willing to write very large checks in order to watch relatively meaningless games bend their way. Okay? Also, this program's unafraid to cheat. So, one day, we will get back in the limelight. We will be back

in said high life. This is a really inspiring soliloquy. You've got going here. Thank you. I'm going to keep going. Okay. So yeah, that's why I watch it. And yeah, we're going to be good again. And is it going to be with Jim McElwain? No, no, no. I think that's sailed, son. I think any hope you might have had of this being some dynamic turnaround. This, no, no, that's done. This program isn't even on the same level as this program isn't on, it's not that, oh, we're not on the same level as Alabama. We're not close to LSU. I know we beat them, but in terms of like the kind of talent and pipeline we can get, no, no, we're not quite there. That game was a little bit of a red herring. We're not there. Not even close.

So, yeah, that's why I watch because I got to... Let's talk about any of these other... Please. Please. Talk about the ACC Championship game. Talk about that. I wanted to talk about what a winner Jim Delaney was, by the way, because that game, along with the ACC Championship game,

turn the hell around fast. Because it looked like a blowout coming. Wisconsin got out to the most dangerous leading football, which is 21 points. Never get out to a 21 point lead. Stay on 14, go straight to 24 or 28 if you can't. But never 21, because that's the easiest way to let your opponent back in the game. And that's exactly what Wisconsin did.

And then Penn State, Penn State blew up, that game went back and forth. And Trace McSorley, Trace McSorley was out of his mind, throwing blind TDs. Just, I, that was a delight to watch. Yeah, the playoff committee really dodged a couple of bullets here at the end of those games, because I honestly don't know what they do if Clemson loses to Virginia Tech. I think it was easy for them to be like, yes, Penn State is five and Michigan is six, and that's because Penn State was the Big Ten champion, et cetera, et cetera. I'm less confident that's what they would have done.

done, had they been faced with the decision of which of these two teams are we putting into the playoff and not just giving the honorary of first runner-up? Going on the ACC championship game, I do not think I have seen a team play, an outmatch team play with the kind of intensity I saw Virginia Tech play with. It was very clear, you're like, oh, this is not, this team is not as talented as this Clemson team and they just they did they paid no mind that whatsoever it was so cool to watch like that team played their uh whatever body part you want off any of conscience hansches honches dude played their played their ample mountain haunches off in that game so much fun to watch even

though like the math kept getting worse and worse for them and they did not care didn't care it was no no no like you see teams you see teams you see teams continue to play hard but not with a whole lot of conviction right like Florida was kind of like that like Florida continued to play hard they knew it wasn't this this wasn't going any oh yeah Florida was absolutely the E&T who's like yep chest compressions one two three clear yeah oh oh we lost him we lost him well imagine we lost an 87 year old man in cardiac arrest go guess we'll have to call it in call it Yeah. Go Gators.

Go Gators. But yeah. That was it. Not Virginia Tech, no. Virginia Tech had is that I feel confident Virginia Tech's the team that we're going to look at when we start to preview next season and be like, wait, what the fuck did they do less? What? How did they? This nine and four?

Are you kidding me? Because none of it makes sense. On the whole. Lost to Syracuse? Not lost to Syracuse. Lost, like, pretty decisively to Syracuse. Blown out. Was sloppy as hell against Tennessee and lost.

Lost by 10 to Georgia Tech. Everybody else, like, it's just, but, but this is the same team that manhandled Miami that made North Carolina look like they didn't belong anywhere in a Power 5. Whatever. Just a fucking baffling team. And a fun team to watch, definitely. I expect what with Colorado and Penn State having such transcendent seasons, Justin Fuente is not really going to be in the talk for national coach of the year or something.

But what Virginia Tech did this season was pretty damn impressive, considering this is a team that for the last, what, three years was really just like, oh, let's just beat Virginia so we can keep our bowl streak alive. Yeah, that with new systems, like new offense, a new offense, which by the way, did not exactly play the strengths on paper of its personnel that they had on hand, right? A new coach, new systems, and also, by the way, Bud Foster having to deal with this because Bud's used to coach him with a guy who was going to say, hey, listen, we'll protect your defense. And Fuente's like, yo, good luck. Get some turnovers.

We're going to hurry up and wing this thing down the field. Let's go. Yeah. And they made it work. This was, if you're looking for fun stories and fun seasons that, yeah, do have some inexplicable turnarounds and reverses in there. Yeah, Virginia Tech. One of the more fun teams to watch weekend and week out. No, not perfect, but real good. And completely intense, like a very intense, very fun team that made, when they made mistakes, they made them big. And when they did good things, they did real big good things.

um i do want to go back in time a little bit to talk about the pack 12 championship game again oh sure uh great job on you continually for putting this game on friday pack 12 when people are like wait what we're doing huh um that said that means a lot of people didn't see jake browning's final stat line and who it's not great it's not great 9 to 24 for 118 yards does have two touchdowns Didn't throw any picks. Yeah, I'm going to go ahead and go way out on this limb and say, if he does that against Alabama, Washington is not going to win. That's a hot take, but I'm wearing oven mitts.

So bring it on over here. I can handle it. Is Jason dead? I was distracted by, so Brett Bilema. Wait, oh, okay, hold on. Hold on, please tell me. Wait, wait, wait, wait, wait. Stop, stop, step.

Spencer, we're each going to guess what Jason's going to tell us. I'm going to say. Guess what Bert did? Let's play guess what Bert did. I want to go all in. Brett Bealem was taking the Oregon job. Spencer, Spencer, what do you got? I'm going to say that Brett Beelam, I'm going to go real mundane, okay?

Okay. I'm going to say that Brett Beelam believes Penn State should be in. the playoff instead of instead of who ohio state instead of ohio state okay jason reveal the bret be on the truth uh wow that's a that's a good guess by spencer because if if bert was still um if i think if if arkansas was like 10 and two that's when bert walks tall and he gets antagonistic and we know he kind of has a long beef with urban mire i could i could see that um and as much as Oregon definitely would feel that Burt fits with their whole sleek, modern image, unfortunately. It's not a fit at this time.

So Burt, on the coach's poll, inadvertently omitted Virginia Tech, which is Arkansas's beltball opponent, and Arkansas has released a statement that their communications director inadvertently left after Burt specifically said during the ACC Championship that he wanted to move Virginia Tech up into his top 15. So now there is a scandal in Arkansas issuing statements about the coach's poll, which I don't even know.

Who looks at the coaches, the coaches poll? I think it's just us, media members grinding content, right? I mean, we put it up every week just so there are numbers alongside the AP poll just so you can say, oh, actually the AP poll isn't all that bad. But like, man, the coach's poll is the result. this it caused a diplomatic incident that's amazing well i i'm i'm disappointed that brett didn't just steer into it and be like yeah that's how confident i am that we're you know i'm already penciling in that loss for him well uh after after get done with them they won't be in the top

25 anyway coach you didn't know that you'd be yeah yeah we we had a good guess you know we we we build things here at arkansas to predict what our opponent's going to do and that includes the bowl structured we knew it was going to be virginia tech and we know we're going to be I used the force. I was going to say the notion of somebody at somebody from Arkansas

having an issue with geography and leaving an entire state's representative out, not not the most shocking. It's a big country. It's hard to remember all of them. I know. But yeah. I'm not surprised by that at all.

Again, how many coaches out of, we at 1, 28 this year how many coaches if you count if you count Jim Grob yeah man it's hard to count Jim Grobe did he submit a ballot uh I doubt it I have let's see I mean we could check it wouldn't be that hard yeah you need to look at that you need to look at that ballot how many how much it just for the spells out Jim Grob has instant mashed potatoes one he's got a one sauce two Jim Grob submitted his shopping list guys

Jim Grove did not participate this year. Also, he didn't submit a coach's ballot. Yeah, you know, you'd have to be a coach to do that. And that would be, here's the other thing, number of commits. We can just keep saying this over and over again, number of commits in Baylor's current recruiting class. One special young man. I really hope, I really hope Jim Grob, like, it's a big book deal to write, like, a tell all about his year at Taylor. And then he's like, yeah, actually, I was just, you know, I was just home watching movies most of the time. Didn't go into the office much. They let me telecommute. So it's a pretty cushy gig. Couldn't really tell you what the guys were up to.

I mean, you know, like, Yergen Kinsman actually did that. Like he actually, he actually like coached via telecommuting in case you wonder, what happened to the United States men's national soccer team under Yergen Klinzman? Well, a lot of things, son. One of them being that, yeah, they let the coach telecommute for a little bit. Not forever, but, you know, long enough so that you'd go, ah, that doesn't seem really sort of advised. It seems ill-advised, frankly. Yeah. The other thing about the Pac-12 championship game, in another big game, Cephelouffal, the People's Heisman.

I'm not saying he should win the Heisman. You should definitely win the People's Heisman. Got injured again. So who are recent People's Heisman winners? recent people's Heisman winners uh dr beau dr boe waltz dr bo waltz 100% yeah he's definitely uh people's uh delvin cook was people's heisman last year right

uh undoubtedly yeah yeah okay okay i get it you could have gone with or joshan watson either one man sure sure sure sure um i i guess we're kind might if it's not sefo we're probably given pitt the team just just the whole team pit james james connor Uh-huh. Yep. You know, like you, you beat cancer and you come back to have a great year. Yeah, you get the People's Heisman for that, right?

Past People's Heisman winners, Woody Danzler. Woody Danzler of Clemson, many, many moons ago would have been a People's Heisman winner. Players who are productive, players who are great, players who, you're probably not going. Larry, let's go to the pros. Larry Fitzgerald, I mean, was going to the pros, but I'd give him the People's Heisman. And there, we got you in, Pitt. You're welcome. I feel like it has to be, it has to one up the actual Heisman as far as NFL non-viability.

Oh, I see. Like the actual He's like, oh, he'll be an NFL bus. First of all, he gives a shit. I mean, he'll make millions and it won't be a college football player anymore. So win-win for him. But the People's Heisman, I think we're talking about like, oh, no, no, we know years in advance this dude is probably not going to be anything in the pros. Timmy Chang, come on down.

Oh, yeah. Now there's. There we go. Colt Brennan. Yeah. People's Heisman choice right there. But yeah, that's that Cephalafow got injured again.

And like that's the greatest tragedy for me is Cephalafow getting injured because it won. It means Colorado's going to have problems. They're going to have serious problems on offense, which they did. Because they had to put a freshman

in and guess what he did he threw a couple of really crippling picks because that's what freshmen do they're real good at it and it doesn't shouldn't like that whole that whole thing should not

sour what is an otherwise phenomenal season for Colorado like again we talk about Virginia Tech being a really cool story this year yeah they were used to success Colorado is an even cooler story because did not have

did not have the money will or coordination to have the right kind of chairs in their meeting rooms as recently as like five years ago that's no that's true spencer's not making that up we don't lie on this program that was an actual thing you can look up yeah yeah embre their previous coach talking about how when he got there they did not have enough chairs to have an offensive line meeting and he had to he had to buy bottled water for meetings the school just didn't have bottled water yeah and from that to a pack 12 championship game uh it's just yeah it's unreal it's absolutely unreal so yay we get to mention how awesome colorado season was again this podcast is already a success uh do we do we miss anything else in in the championship round um western

michigan finished the season undefeated and didn't mean a goddamn thing so there's that they get they They get to go to the Cotton Bowl. That's true. They get to play Wisconsin in the Cotton Bowl. They get to play yet another Big Ten West team. Yeah, just the fact that they couldn't even crack the top 10. Despite, look, they, granted, they're not the best Big Ten teams in the world, but they did play and beat two of them.

And other than that, they won a, like, a pretty solid conference. I don't think it's the best group of five conference, but it's not terribly shabby. And they're just... It's got Toledo. in it. Okay, fair, fair point. I mean, it's, it's a bad year for the Mac. It's not a great year for the Mac.

That hurt WMU a lot. I mean, seeing you getting that totally legit win at Oklahoma State, that was for free of controversy, that boosted the Mac a little bit, but other than that, not a very good year for the Mac. It was not a great year. Yeah, I just, I don't know. I feel like the

playoff is like telling us pretty early, hey man, you got group of five aspirations getting a team in here uh-uh just back the fuck up it's not happening i don't know because houston i mean if if houston had managed to uh to finish 13 and no i think houston would be in let's recall how many games used and lost though several yeah so so here's the path here's the path i'm going to lay it out for you okay group of five teams don't lose several games beat oklahoma and beat louisville simple you know what you get also try and play in a conference that's just a step of the SEC East at most.

Here is what would have done in Houston. Undefeated Houston, here's what would have done them in. Kentucky beat Louisville. So everybody would have said, well, how much can it mean? Yeah, man, did Kentucky beat Louisville? That still happened. That's a real thing that happened. I'm still not, I'm still not ready for that.

Never forget that Louisville lost to Kentucky. Yeah. Best, like literally, like I am tonight. I'm not going to say, because I'm not supposed to say, who I am casting my ballot for in the Heisman. Oh, coincidence that we're talking about this game. I'm certainly not saying it now. But the person that I believe to be the best college football player in the nation. Mark Stoops.

Mark Stubes ends up winning that game over Lamar Jackson. That was opaque enough. I think I'm good. I think because you could have been talking about any of Kentucky's opponents, so you're probably talking about like a Florida or Tennessee or Georgia offensive player so you're good I was talking about Luke Del Rio

the astonishing Luke Del Rio that's what I was talking about someday I'll forget any of this happened right someday I'll forget any of this probably not probably not no the other thing from Championship Weekend though it was not a championship

it is a title I'm going to call him Senator Holgerson because West Virginia gets to 10 wins with a win over Baylor. Not like Baylor matters anything anymore. Let's not go that far. But this did get Dana a contract extension. And we are now getting dangerously close to one of my favorite new developments in college football. That is, Dana Holgerson, it's getting very close to elder statesman status in the Big 12.

He's getting close, dog. He's going to be in a position of being the mentor very soon. Is Bill Snyder going to try and pass the torch to Holgo? And Holgo looks up like, what do I do with this? What do I do with this? He sends him it. This is a weird vape. Yeah, he sends him a note and he sends him a handwritten note in purple ink.

And he's like, I don't remember this girl. They like to write in colors instead. I don't look at the mail, it's usually, it's usually a bill. Oh, God, I love how your, your Dana gets lower and lower. It's magnificent. Well, with each win, it gets lower. If he rings up this ball win, it all, we'll be in Randy Savage territory. But yeah, Dana gets, Dana gets that contract extension, living dangerously at West Virginia, year in and year out, because there is no way.

to coach at West Virginia other than dangerously because, yeah, they'll fire you for like almost any reason. It's weird. But still standing and gradually rising to prominence as one of the longest tenured coaches in the Big 12. I cannot wait. It'll be fantastic.

Kid, let me show you the ropes. Here's how you can avoid tipping the valets here in the Kansas City, Ramada that I stay at. You know, you could afford better, could I? You don't know me. Could you? Yeah.

Don't don't think you know another man's wallet. All right. That and I would like to at least look forward a little bit. Now, we're, if you do not know on this podcast. Yeah, because we're not going to slog through enough of these, you idiot. Oh, God, no, no, no, we're just going to look. All right. We're going to do 40 for 40.

Oh, why? You know the bowl start in less than two weeks. I always get to this and I'm like, oh, 40 for 40. we've got all this time we'll sort of space it out now we're going to rush through this shit and and it's going to be a fucking shit show at least one of them will not post until kickoff it might post that's correct we think someone will listen to it during the game somebody will god bless that person yeah somebody will and uh they're awesome we really appreciate those 11 listens but we do 40 for 40 where we attempt to do 40 podcasts now

Ryan, please remind everyone, are all of these podcasts, you know, 30 minutes? They are the appropriate length that the bowl and the matchup and our particular whims and whoever we have on the podcast that week, Merritt. So, yeah, we could go 30 minutes on a bowl game. We could go a minute and 30 seconds. It's kind of a crapshoot. And I can assure you that almost no planning goes into it whatsoever. Did we do one for Notre Dame's bowl game last year That was just like 14 seconds

No I think that was the famous Idaho potato bowl That one ends up being like 43 seconds or something Because Notre Dame was playing Ohio State last year So Notre Dame was in a bowl last year I didn't even I didn't what that would be like It was a weird time I mean you know these teams they just they have they get a few lucky breaks They have the season for the ages

And then they fade back you know everything settles out That must have been pretty cool for them. Yeah, I mean, it's nuts. I don't know what to tell you. Hmm. Every year has its dream team, I guess. Yeah, but we will be doing 40 of them for every single bowl camp. I don't want to infringe too much on the unique, unreplicable, and extremely valuable content will pass on there.

Nope, nope, nope, I don't want to do that. But, but I do want to peek a little. bit if we can just a little bit just a little bit now you can this can include the playoff all right if you would like but i would like to look ahead and go uh ah because i assure you one of those two-minute podcasts is going to be iowa florida and the outback we're just gonna no no is the answer no how about how about this can this be it can we yes just cut this audio out and like loop it and that's it just sample just sample it yeah is that you y'all this is that new donald glover album you know what i'll drop i'll drop the speed way down

yeah yeah like when you like when you listen to the chipmunks 45 but you listen to it on the bigger record player just christmas christmas punt the ball like that no seriously just that's it okay it's perfect take that exact piece of audio run it like 20 times one thing about the Outback Bowl, though. I think it's fucking cruel that they assign coconut shrimp to the landlock state. Yeah, that's bullshit.

Especially because, like, come on, man. You know a Midwestern wants to eat that blooming onion so bad. Batter. It's delicious batter. Why are you making Iowa fans root against their team because they want that blooming onion so bad? Another thing, looking at the playoff and looking sort of at the initial matchups,

it is what we feared in terms of who's going to play Bama. Because really, when picking the worst possible matchup for Bama out of this group in terms of you, the viewer, wanting to pay attention, that'd be Alabama playing Washington in the people. Yeah, yeah. I don't picture Washington's offensive line getting a whole lot done. Yeah, and Washington's defense was very good this year. They are a little dinged up, lost some key contributors. So, I mean, Washington's in the playoff,

which is a thing we probably wouldn't have said three years ago. So there's that. Yeah, there's that. We can be happy. Is that the word happy about that? Yeah, sure, I guess. I mean, for now.

It'll be this game. It hasn't happened yet. It hasn't. And I know, I know what everyone says. What everyone is saying is this. They're going to, oh, man,

you know, you give Chris Peterson all that time to prepare. That's cool. I bet the game plan is going to be brilliant, man. It's not going to be like Florida. As you know,

is Florida played Alabama, and we had like 12 good ideas. We used them on the first drive. Yeah, used all of them on the first drive. It's kind of a pattern. Florida really. only has, they like just get all the good

ideas out of the way. Florida should just start scripting the whole game. Fuck the first 20 plays or whatever. Just be like, here we go. We scripted 100 just in case. Just run all these. You know, it really builds to a satisfying conclusion.

Crescendo. We're only going to have 65 snaps in this game. We're not, God damn it. My masterpiece is spoiled. I like that you're making the, why don't you make the whole airplane out of black box argument basically right like script the whole game in this case in this case it's fine the airplane can't fucking fly anyway so whatever uh but sorry

we're talking about washington 12 and 1 Washington 8 and 1 in conference um i i i hope they can at least make it interesting for a half because i i really don't i really just don't need a bunch of fucking Alabama. And SEC fans generally talk about, oh, here we go, Pact 12 bullshit conference, not ready to play with the big boys. I eat two Cracker Barrow breakfast every day, because you never know

when coach is going to call me up, man. Yeah, I don't need this. Child supporters tyranny. Yeah, I don't need this. No, I'm sorry. None of them think that. It was unfair. I don't know why impugned the fine and civilized fan base of Alabama with such savage opinions.

I have no actual real basis for doing that. Yeah, I don't care. I don't want to watch it. Yeah, Alabama fans are tired of this too. They don't. You know, life's about peaks and valleys. And if it's all mountains, it's all peaks. They don't seem tired of it.

You know, I guess you're peering beneath the surface and you're gazing into their souls and you're divining deep anguish that is just not at all apparent. I'm really tired of them having anything to be happy about, really, because if we take this from them, it's a pretty short list, man. It's like that horny governor and... Extremely horny governor. Let's be clear.

Alabama, man, Alabama has the horniest governor. It's amazing. It sounds like somebody you can see on a damn road sign. And our next attorney and our next attorney general. So we got to, yay. All right. So other than Chris Peterson, give Chris Peterson a month. who knows what is the one storyline from either of the playoff games that you're already fucking sick of

and just don't want to hear any more about um yeah nothing there's i don't think there's anything in the in these two teams other other than uh just the onset dread of someone having to play alabama really jumps out to that level I think these are two great matchups and all that. Yeah, in terms of, in terms of actually the Clemson, Ohio State matchup, oh, I'm okay with that. Yeah, but we're going to talk about that Orange Bowl so, so, so much. And I just am like, it feels like it doesn't matter at all, but I know it's just going to get trotted out to be like, hey, you know, we've seen, we've seen what happens when these two teams collide before. and one team just can't just can't put the ball on the ground like they're supposed to it's just no i don't i mean

granted j t barrett should not get to throw in a lot of passes because that hasn't gone great in that case um we'll also look at a previous bama washington matchup the 1920 whatever rose bowl when uh bama was the first team to ever put on for the south and and had never shut up about it ever since Oh, so Washington comes into Atlanta for revenge. Yeah, Washington's back to, I mean, it's funny how things, you know, change over the course of 90 years. Like back then it was, no one from the South could play football. You know, and now every Bama fan's going to say the same thing about a team from the Pacific Northwest,

which is not the region. It's Washington's still a young team, still, you know, still in year three of a new system and all that. If Bama, and they're never going to have a roster entirely composed of five stars, but, um,

yeah, those tables are turned. Whatever. If Bama had any fucking pride, they'd schedule pencil Voltron. They would. They'd just put them on the schedule right now. I don't know about that region not making a difference,

Jason. I want to just, I just want to just point to this, that the high minimum wage of Seattle, combined with the enormous fish consumption, He's obviously poisoning the brains of everyone involved and making them soft, making them unlikely to commit the kind of complete violence

and commitment to process. I mean, you look at the state density rankings, right? Alabama is just, it's first or second in density. There's, they need a little less kombucha and a little more corn butcha. Washington, hell, they're like 45th in personal density. Are you talking about the obesity ranks? Density.

Strength. It's called the mite rankings. It's called melee armor, actually, is what I referred to it as. You know, you've got to have a thick skin. It's a carapest of sorts. I can say it. You know, if I want to lose it, I can. I can.

They got doctors for that, you know. But Washington. it's just there's far too much clean living there's no stress on the immune system or the body to really test it you know it's you got to become it's survival you know you know how i know i know Washington's not real football as a state because p. Carroll doesn't have to cheat to win there that's it now you're going to say doesn't he play in the NFL I'm going to ask you the question doesn't I mean, we're really talking about the same thing anymore. Are we really even talking about the same thing? I don't think so.

I don't think so. You and I can disagree on these things, but I'm right. You know, I think environment matters, right? You want to talk about raising a beast, you know, you got to put them in a cage. Now, to be clear, not the environment, though. Global warming is a myth. No, yeah, the environment's a lie. It's not real.

Never go outside other than Bryant-Denny Stadium. Hey, listen, that's what, Brian Denny Stadium, it's a containment area. It's dangerous to be loose, willy-nilly. There's temptations out there. Global warming is just the Earth saying it rejects Big Ten winter football. That's all. The Earth is an SEC fan. Climate change is just a satellite camp, if you ask me.

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